Here is the question that was submitted as a comment to the previously mentioned post:

I have recently come across a therapist using this IFS model. Because I had never heard of it before, I decided to do some research on it. However, when I looked for peer-reviewed studies on it, there is very little. There are, in fact, no randomized controlled trials or any other type of research comparing IFS to other therapies (or even a waitlist control group). There are simply anecdotal case reports, which are not very useful for identifying whether or not a treatment is effective. Take the placebo effect, for example - many people will say that a pill they believe to be a novel, active medication, has helped them when in fact it is a sugar pill.

Given this information, what has made you decide that the IFS model is so worthwhile?

And here is my response:
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In fact, the book that was perhaps most influential in focusing me on and teaching me about this topic claims, in its editor’s preface, that it will be the most important book you’ll ever read. And because of the importance of the topic, it just might be right. And, in turn, the pages that I’ve written related to this topic are probably the most important that I’ve ever written.

These pages will especially be of interest to anyone with a desire to understand, broadly and/or deeply, why our world is as it is.

They will be of even more intense interest to:

• Anyone who has wondered why our world is so rife with seemingly intractable problems that we are apparently unable, despite applying our best conceived philosophies and methods, to curtail

• Those intrigued by issues of justice and injustice

But, in truth, these pages are of great relevance in many ways to all of us.

Until now, I’ve kept a tight lid on information about these pages. But now, it’s finally time to announce their release to the world!

First, however, some background…
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A couple of days later, on Neil Cavuto’s television show on Fox, I saw Michelle Fields of the The Daily Caller calling these “Patriotic Millionaires” hypocrites.

I then found this article where she insinuates the same.

Here is the basis for her charge of hypocrisy: (more…)

I wasn’t disappointed. After listening to that interview, I’ve gone on to listen to a great deal of material from Freedomain Radio in the weeks since. I find Stefan Molyneux to be an extremely intelligent thinker with an impressive breadth of knowledge who focuses on matters of central importance and articulates his ideas brilliantly. He has a deep grasp of the interconnectedness of the personal and political, and, unlike many other thinkers who exhibit what I call the “psychology gap,” Molyneux recognizes and focuses on how psychological and developmental issues color, and often are even primary, in determining our positions on events in the external world. I disagree with him on some fundamental issues and there are a few disciplines that I wish he integrated more into his approach, as I think they might influence some of his conclusions a bit (just as there are many areas in which he is far more schooled than I am). But there are also many areas of agreement and, even when we disagree, I always find his material stimulating.

In fact, his ideas were stimulating enough to provoke my last blog post, which was a response to his discussion with Neil Kiernan of V-Radio about The Venus Project, a futuristic form of community promoted in the Zeitgeist series of films. And it’s likely that in the future I’ll post more pieces promoting, building on, clarifying or responding to – whether with agreement, disagreement or both – some of his ideas and work.

Now, every Sunday at 2 PM EST, Stefan has a two hour call in show where listeners can raise just about any topic they want with him. They may question or challenge his ideas, ask for his views on world events or philosophy, or request his take on issues in their own lives. In this post, I want to clarify some Internal Family Systems-related issues raised in his call in show from last Sunday.

As the name might suggest, the Internal Family Systems Model is a psychological approach based on the idea that, just as we each have “external” families composed of a variety of family members, we each also have an analogous family of “parts” within our own psyches. Stefan is fond of cleverly referring to that internal family as the “MEcosystem.” I really like this name for it, as well.

Well, when I looked at the list of topics discussed on last week’s call in show, one of them was “The Limits of the MEcosystem.” This title intrigued me even more than most IFS discussions. In the last several years, I have been quite committed to learning about and promoting fields such as Appreciative Inquiry, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Imago Relationship Therapy and Internal Family Systems Therapy, which offer hope for – and in my experience sometimes really do deliver - surprisingly powerful constructive change through peaceful approaches. However, I have been just as concerned about there being adequate understanding and awareness of the limits of such fields’ effectiveness. For example, on my page about NVC, I took the time to add a section entitled “The Limits of Nonviolent Communication’s Effectiveness”.
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Neil Kiernan - Host of V-Radio and a proponent of The Venus Project, which is discussed in Peter Joseph’s Zeitgeist series of films and seeks to implement a Resource-Based Economy (RBE)

and

Listen to internet radio with V RADIO on Blog Talk Radio

I have to say it was one of the best and most important dialogues I’ve heard of late. This is exactly the kind of discussion we desperately need more of and I hope that they will continue it. While I don’t fit snugly into either of the Molyneux or the Zeitgeist/Venus Project camps, I’ve greatly enjoyed exploring the ideas put forth by both and I find that both make valuable contributions to the dialogue about how we bring about a healthier, more sustainable future for humanity and the rest of our ecosystem.
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Today I was given a copy of an article from the February 5, 2011 Wall Street Journal by Matt Ridley entitled “A Key Lesson of Adulthood: The Need to Unlearn”. The title certainly struck me as important for two reasons.

1. The need to unlearn has been a central theme in my life. I spent much of my twenties unlearning a tremendous amount of what was fed to me as truth growing up. And through my writing, coaching, activism and promotion of the work of various change agents such as Daniel Quinn (whose book The Story of B focuses on just such an unlearning process), I have long championed the importance of being willing to question dogmatic beliefs.
2. We live in an incredibly destructive, unsustainable culture that is driven by the actions of hypocritical adults who act on the world stage in greedy, violent ways that, at home, would get their own children sent to their rooms – if not worse. So I am always fascinated to read commentary by this culture’s adults on what “adulthood” in such a society is considered to really be about.

And so I dove in. (more…)

In the wake of the recent scandal involving Detroit’s ex-mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, one of our major local papers finally directly raised this issue in an article entitled “Politics & personality: Psychologists weigh in on behaviors of the former Detroit mayor”.

But, in general, coverage of this issue, so central to the destructiveness of our times, is dangerously and tellingly lacking. (more…)

In the past, while watching videos of original bands performing songs I enjoyed, YouTube’s related videos feature had introduced me, through cover versions, to the wonderful Meghan Julius and Kiersten Holine. This time, after listening to a couple of other cover versions of “3 Libras”, I was introduced to an amazing piano and vocal version of the song by the incredible Adam Monroe. (more…)

Two years ago, I wrote an essay called “How American Idol Changed My Life”. I realized as I wrote it that some who see me as a person focused on more profound issues might find my enjoyment of an iconic pop culture talent show to be seriously out of character. However, there was no denying the impact on me of the show and especially of particular contestants from the show.

As I described in that essay, American Idol has the power to stimulate crucial thought and dialogue about the importance and optimal methods of promoting talent and authenticity in a hierarchical culture that often suppresses people’s true selves. These are themes I also explored in my piece called “The Joy and Power of Discovering True Selves”.

This season has been no exception. I’ve watched every minute of the show this year and it has already provided more than one powerful example of a genuine talent beginning to truly blossom. It was during the second round of auditions in Hollywood early in the season that I was first blown away by the gifts of one of this year’s performers, David Archuleta. Watching him sing Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” gave me chills and I instantly felt that this was one of the best contestants the show has ever seen, a feeling that I still maintain, having watched him progress through the season.

However, it is another contestant - one who didn’t even make it past the Hollywood auditions and into the Top 24 - that I want to talk about in this piece.

A Memorable Audition

It was even earlier in the season, during the initial auditions in Atlanta, that America first met Josiah Leming. Josiah was a kid with a very moving backstory. He was an 18 year-old high school dropout from Morristown, Tennessee, who, unbeknownst to his family, who believed he was staying with friends, had been living in his car for the last year as he traveled around the country playing shows. In early interviews, he conveyed a willingness to sacrifice to achieve his dreams, declaring that he felt right at home living in his car. But then moments later, Josiah first displayed his deep vulnerability as he tearfully described how lonely and scary life on the road can be.
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The End of a Borderline-Riddled Relationship

As described in my last blog post, “Choosing Intimate Partners: To Repeat or Not to Repeat?” I was recently involved in a challenging relationship that followed a familiar course. It began intensely, inspiring great hope for mutual healing and joy. However, gradually patterns emerged that I recognized from experience as typical of relationships involving a Borderline dynamic.

Because of my familiarity with conflicting relationship theories, I felt torn on how best to respond to these worrisome signs. Parts of me believed that the only healthy option was to disengage from the relationship - or more precisely, to resign myself to the growing awareness that my partner had already, for the most part, disengaged. Yet, other parts of me still held out hope that, in the manner of Imago Relationship Therapy, we could become more conscious of the archetypal dynamics involved, agree to reconcile, salvage the fragile but invaluable opportunity and harness the relationship’s conflicted energy toward growth.

However, shortly after writing that post, it came to my attention that the situation had long been, unbeknownst to me, even more complicated and dysfunctional than I had imagined. I had been deceived and misled in ways that, combined with many signs from throughout the course of the relationship, pointed rather convincingly to the conclusion that yet another potentially wonderful and nurturing partnership had been sabotaged by the tragic presence of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Revealing Conversations About an Under-Recognized Epidemic

In the painful aftermath of this realization, I spoke with many people who had experienced the shattering fallout of a relationship with someone suffering from BPD. The content of these conversations reinforced my confidence regarding my assessment of this relationship and refocused me yet again on the crucial role that this disorder plays in so many of our lives. The sheer numbers of people who shared their stories with me reinforced how prevalent BPD really is (I believe that it is far more widespread than typical estimates because those with BPD often fail to seek or remain in treatment and because they are often misdiagnosed, for example as Bipolar, due to clinician error, as well as to exploit more generous insurance coverage). Their heartwrenching tales dramatized the tremendous, and statistically disproportionate, emotional toll that the disorder takes on our society by way of all of us directly and indirectly affected by it.

I have gone so far as to say that Borderline, along with perhaps Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), is the core disorder of our culture. In this assessment I seem to be in agreement with the eminent pioneer in the treatment of Personality Disorders, James F. Masterson, M.D., whose book, Search For The Real Self, focuses almost exclusively on these two disorders and, in its subtitle, identifies them as “The Personality Disorders Of Our Age.” I am also in agreement with Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D., author of I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, who has declared ours “the Borderline society.” And yet, in far too many cases BPD - and NPD for that matter - remain shockingly unrecognized. (more…)