Sticking Sex Where it Doesn’t Belong: The Little Things

2010 February 6
by Lizzzzzz

People occasionally get upset with me for being nit-picky about small things relating to gender. Why does it matter if we speak in ways that imply all pizza deliverers are men or say mom when we really mean parent or caregiver? Here’s why I care:

I believe that the more we call attention to gender
differences, the more different the genders appear to be and the more
we excuse or overlook behavior which treats people of different genders not just differently, but unequally.


Here’s a small example of how  we can stop emphasizing gender differences when it’s not really necessary, and, in fact, makes more sense not to. Today, I was looking at a crochet/knit site that is collecting bath kits (with knit/crochet washcloths) to send to Haiti. The site seemed really neat, but I was let down when I saw the instruction that we should not send flower-scented soaps because men will get these kits too. But really, we shouldn’t send scented soap because people of any gender might be allergic or sensitive to scents and/or they may not like the scent. Better to send unscented which everyone will be able to get clean with. Sending soap to people who need it isn’t a gendered cause.

Recycling Batteries

2010 January 7
by Lizzzzzz

As a math teacher, I go through a whole lot of AAA batteries. Pesky non-solar graphing calculators! I have been trying to figure out how to recycle regular old alkaline batteries. It’s confusing because everyone seems to think they are recyclable but no one really knows. Here’s some info I found:

Ask Umbra at grist.org says these things. The City of New York says this.

There a million or so places to drop off rechargeable (not regular alkaline) batteries for recycling. Home Depot and lots of other big chains have drop offs for them.

However, most places don’t bother to recycle regular alkaline batteries. A few Ask Umbra readers wrote they have local drop off places and one person encouraged you to take them to the recycling center anyway because a recycling center employee told her that if they had enough of something, they would try their darndest to recycle it.

I wrote to Walgreens using their online customer service form to ask if they recycle alkaline batteries and will continue to search. In the meantime, clutter sucks so if you’re saving old batteries, it’s deemed ok (by the man?) just to throw them away.

Unless they are rechargeable. In that case, recharge them and recycle at the end of their useful life. I’m going to encourage my dept. to start using rechargeables more.

Back in 2007, I posted this on facebook.

2010 January 5
by Lizzzzzz

Before I had a blog, I sometimes wrote notes on facebook to let people know what feminism I was up to. Here’s one:

Below is the letter I wrote to the author of “A Quiet Revolution in Algeria.” [NY Times] It’s amazing how something so good can have a kernel of bias in it that propagates the real and present fear that feminism isn’t about equality but about revenge for the time women spent as the underdogs. If it were about women “taking over” then we’d kill men, but we don’t, so figure out what it’s really about.

Michael Slackman,

I am writing because I just read your article “A Quiet Revolution in Algeria.” Your reporting on this subject is wonderful and its very important for Americans to know about the status and progress of women the world over. Thank you for this insight into Algeria.
I do have one contention with the article though.
This paragraph:
“Although men still hold all of the formal levers of power and women still make up only 20 percent of the work force, that is more than twice their share a generation ago, and they seem to be taking over the machinery of state as well.”

I know that you wrote it to set up the quote that appears after in which Daho Djerbal claims that women are literally going to control the state. However, that paragraph contradicts itself. Women making up twenty percent of the workforce in no way at all seems that they are “taking over.” Women make up around half the population so it is right that they hold half of the jobs and half of the public offices.
Your paragraph feeds the patriarchal fear, which persists even in America today, that women are somehow taking men’s share. The fear that women entering the workforce or holding public office forces men out so that women may take control. But the truth is that women have always dominated certain sectors. Not many were afraid that a majority of women as elementary school teachers means women are trying to rule the earth without men.
I would appreciate it if you would think about how this stereotype became part of your article and get back to me. Why do you consciously or unconsciously support the idea that women becoming bus drivers or making up more of a university population than men means women’s eyes are turned toward domination?

Peace,
Liz Yockey
radical feminist

Sticking Sex Where It Doesn’t Belong: Cat Calls

2009 October 18
by Lizzzzzz

Sticking Sex Where it Doesn’t Belong is a series I started with this post.

I deserve to be able to walk down the street without having sex or sexuality be a part of that walk. Any desire someone else has to let me know their sexual opinion of me does not trump my right to be left alone. (some phrasing borrowed from this post.)

A typical cat call, whether it is “Hey Cutie” or something more vulgar, says basically this: “I have noticed that you look female. I like to have sex with females. I am letting you know I have noticed this.”

Cat calling (especially “Hey Cutie”) might not seem so bad to many people. But it is. It is degrading, stressful, unfair, and lacking in basic human decency. Here are some of the reasons why:

1) See italics above.

2) Cat calling (as far as I can tell)  is disproportionately done to women by men. Any phenomenon which is lopsided in this way should be examined and discarded unless it is found to have a valid purpose. Cat calling does not have a purpose except perhaps to see what kind of reaction can be provoked.

3) The history of sexual violence against women in our world makes it almost impossible for women to be anything but defensive and/or scared when they are cat called. Cat calling can also be a trigger for someone who has survived past sexual violence.

4) No one should have to worry their appearance will cause them to subjected to violence or abuse. It is a pervasive stereotype that women “invite” advances such as cat calls by the way they dress. So, in theory, if I dress conservatively, then I will not need to worry about cat calls or sexual violence. Based on my personal experiences and the experiences of many of my friends, dressing conservatively does not prevent you from being cat-called. There is no apparent way to signal that you are not interested, so the default should be for everyone to assume they do not have consent to cat call.

Over the years, I have tried various ways of responding to cat calls. Usually I ignore them. Several times, I have screamed obscenities at the person who cat called me. Sometimes, I try to politely inform the person that I do not appreciate their words. As far as I can tell, the purpose of cat calling is to see what kind of reaction you can provoke, and, on a deeper level, to make the person feel powerless. So, any reaction is actually a win for the cat-caller. However, ignoring cat calls is a bad idea because people who harass others should be told it is wrong.

The best thing I can think of is for a third party to step in. If observers of cat-calling let perpetrators know their actions are wrong, then the victim of the cat-calling is able to ignore it. If you feel safe doing so, stand up for someone else. You can do this either by addressing the situation in the moment (use caution when doing so) or by recounting the situation later and explaining why you think it was wrong.

Buying a Trampoline

2009 October 18
by Lizzzzzz

When I was finishing elementary school, my parents said if I saved up 1/3 of the money for a trampoline, they and some of my relatives would chip in the other 2/3 of the money and get it for me for Christmas. A trampoline cost $300 and it was one of the largest ticket items I could think of. Over the course of the year, I saved an amazing $87, mostly by constantly begging my parents to give me chores to do for money. I got the trampoline even though I was shy of the 1/3 mark.

Around the same time, while riding my bike around the neighborhood, I met four cousins who already had a trampoline set up outside the trailer where two of them lived with their grandma. I visited them all the time for a while, and we would all play on the trampoline for hours. I tried to always be polite and never mention it (as if there would ever be a reason to mention it?), but I could tell they were poor. They wore the same clothes a lot and after all, they lived in a trailer. Keenly aware of how much a trampoline cost, I constantly wondered why their grandma or parents didn’t save the fortune they paid for the trampoline and put it towards living in a real house.

I was prompted to remember this story when I read this Sociological Images’ post a while ago. When I was older, I realized $300 would hardly make a dent in a house payment, let alone a whole house. The trampoline provided hours of entertainment and exercise for all of the cousins and might have kept them from being upset about not always getting new clothes, the latest game system, or other presents they wanted.

I still sometimes momentarily adopt a “stop buying sneakers and start investing in your future” attitude, but I know now how inhumane this attitude is. It is a really horrific idea to think you or I can pass judgement on what other individuals and families are or are not spending their money on. What we can do is pass judgement about what we as a country are doing to help people who might have to choose between having nice sneakers and paying their rent. Then, we can act. (Ideas for action? Comment!)

Potato Pesto Bake

2009 August 27
by Lizzzzzz

We’ve been getting a ton of kale from our CSA share. I have twice now made delicious kale pesto using this recipe as a guide, but I don’t cook the kale (hardcore, I know). I’ve been using extra cheese and adding a lot of lemon juice. We’ve been eating the pesto on crackers and having pesto and tomato sandwiches. But there was still more of it! Hence, this idea.

Most potato pesto recipes call for layering slices of potato spread with pesto, but that seems like more work and less delicious to me. I used sweet potatoes in this, but there’s no reason not to use white or red or purple or whatever potatoes. Here’s my version:

Potato Pesto Bake

1 very large sweet potato (or a few smaller ones, you want to fill a 2-quart baking dish with this recipe)

2 to 2 1/2 cups prepared pesto (I used homemade kale pesto but store-bought basil pesto works too)

1 cup cherry tomatoes

1 1/2 cups vegetable stock (you may want to cut down on this if the pesto you use is very liquid-y)

zest of one lemon (plus juice if you want extra lemon flavor)

salt and pepper to taste

optional: extra cheese! I grated a 1/4 cup of romano into the mix.

Cube potatoes into 1-inch cubes. Chop cherry tomatoes in quarters. Put both in a large bowl and be sure to get all the tomato juice in there. Add the rest of the ingredients and mix until well-distributed. Press into a 2-quart baking dish. You may want to add a cracker or bread crumb topping but it’s not necessary. Bake uncovered for about an hour at 350 degrees F. Sweet potatoes will generally take longer to bake than white potatoes.

Comments make me want to vomit

2009 August 26
by Lizzzzzz

Indexed, an awesome blog with fun charts, posted about the gender pay gap, and the comments were incredibly insensitive. A few comments told women to stop whining, and one commenter said women choose to be paid less by picking the wrong jobs. Privileged much?

There are a myriad of reasons why women get paid less on average than men, and the discrepancy is even worse for people of color. I won’t go into any of the reasons here, but I challenge you to make a list. I thought of five distinct reasons in less than 10 minutes, and I am going to google to look for the ones I missed after I finish this post.

So, anyway, it made me want to vomit (and also cry). But then I read this post at Sociological Images in which a male reader points to examples of “boys club” behavior which contributes to shutting women out of tech jobs. He has a tech job, has noticed there aren’t a lot of women around, and cares enough to try to figure out why. Solidarity!

My spouse (a man) has a “this is what a feminist looks like” t-shirt. It’s hot pink. He likes the shirt but often hesitates to wear it because he is shy, and women talk to him on the street when he wears it. I tell him that is exactly why he needs wear it more. It shouldn’t be a surprise for a man to be a bold feminist.

Follow Up to “Let’s Talk About Women’s Bodies, Shall We?”

2009 August 21
by Lizzzzzz

I posted this earlier. I wanted to follow up by telling the people involved what I thought. I know it’s hard to believe that my opinion would make a difference, but it is impossible for my opinion to make a difference if I don’t share it. Audre Lorde, woman warrior poet, says, “When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.”

I submitted this through the online “contact us” form for Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me:

Dear Wait, Wait:

I love your show. I listen to every episode by podcast. I am a feminist, and I sometimes comment to people that I think your show is one example of a way to laugh without having to condone sexism. Sometimes, though, I think you cross a line. I’ve thought about writing in when this has happened, but this is the first time I’ve actually written.

I’ll get right to it: Peter Sagal, you pressured Aaron Schock to talk about his body when he clearly did not want to. When you pressed him, Schock was uncomfortable talking about his own body and Barack Obama’s body, so he shifted the subject to women’s bodies, specifically Michelle Obama’s arms. As we all know, women’s bodies are always an appropriate topic of conversation in our society, so I’m not surprised he felt more comfortable shifting the focus.
I bring this up because I was completely shocked by it, but I know that it probably passed most people’s radar without a blip. Men’s bodies and women’s bodies are treated very differently in our society, so it is “normal” to pass judgment or talk about women’s bodies while it is strange to do the same with men’s. Pressuring a man to discuss his body really isn’t a positive way to make things more equal. This incident is a small issue, but I believe the small things we usually let go are the things that allow our culture to continue to be institutionally sexist.

I have also posted my observations about this episode on my blog at http://femveg.org/blog/?p=267 and plan to contact Aaron Schock’s office.

Thank you,
Liz Yockey

I emailed this to info at aaronschock dot com:

Dear Aaron Schock,

I listen to every episode of Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me by podcast. I am a feminist, and I sometimes comment to people that I think the show is one example of a way to laugh without having to condone sexism. Sometimes, though, Wait, Wait crosses a line.

Peter Sagal pressured you to talk about your body when you clearly did not want to. When he pressed you, you were uncomfortable talking about your own body and Barack Obama’s body, so you shifted the subject to women’s bodies, specifically Michelle Obama’s arms. As we all know, women’s bodies are always an appropriate topic of conversation in our society, so I’m not surprised you felt more comfortable shifting the focus.
I bring this up because I was completely shocked by it, but I know that it probably passed most people’s radar without a blip. Men’s bodies and women’s bodies are treated very differently in our society, so it is “normal” to pass judgment or talk about women’s bodies while it is strange to do the same with men’s. Pressuring a man to discuss his body really isn’t a positive way to make things more equal, and the way you reacted showed how differently women are thought of by even those who think we are not sexist. (I assume you don’t consider yourself to be sexist.) This incident is a small issue, but I believe the small things we usually let go are the things that allow our culture to continue to be institutionally sexist.

I have also posted my observations about this episode on my blog at http://femveg.org/blog/?p=267 and contacted Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.

Thank you,
Liz Yockey

Let’s Shift the Focus to Women’s Bodies, Shall We?

2009 August 21
by Lizzzzzz

Today I was listening the podcast of this week’s Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me: The NPR News Quiz, a weekly NPR show which features funny quiz games.

Normally, I LOVE Wait, Wait. Paula Poundstone is sometimes on the show, and usually thewaitwait other panelists are really funny too. A couple of times I’ve felt some people on the show have made insensitive comments, but overall it’s a great show.

Aaron Schock, the youngest person in congress, was on the show this week. Before asking the guest quiz questions, Peter Sagel spends some time good-naturedly ribbing them. Sometimes I feel Sagal is a little pushy during this segment to try and get the celebrity to tell them something “juicy” or that wouldn’t come up in a normal press conference. In this case, because photos of Aaron Schock shirtless have been in the press, he was asking the congressmember to compare his body to President Obama’s. Schock dodged the question, saying he hadn’t really looked, but Sagal pressed him a few times.

Eventually, Schock changed the subject, by talking about Michelle Obama’s arms! Schock was uncomfortable talking about his own body and Barack Obama’s body, so he shifted the subject to women’s bodies. As we all know, women’s bodies are always an appropriate topic of conversation, so I’m not surprised he felt more comfortable shifting the focus.

I know that many people would say I am making too much of this incident, but I think it is a prime example of how people who do not think they are sexist really are (because we all are). Do I think Aaron Schock is a terrible person? Probably not. Do I think we would all be better off if we really examined our own thoughts and what we say? Yes, I do. If we didn’t constantly make these (almost unknowing) slights in the direction of women, we would be able to move faster in the direction of equality. I think it’s worth the effort it might take.

A Sense of Shame

2009 August 19
by Lizzzzzz

Gail Collins and Ross Douthat have been doing a feature in an NY Times blog where they both weigh in on a specific issue. This one features their opinions of the hiring of Michael Vick by the Eagles and the subsequent outrage. Michael Vick served time in jail for his crime of supporting a dog fighting ring and will be making speeches for The Humane Society denouncing this behavior. He is now resuming his career as a professional football player.

I would just like to let everyone know right now — I am not a dog lover. I do not want a dog in my house nor do I want the massive number of NYC dog owners letting their dogs near me. As far as animals in general go, I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I don’t want animals to suffer, and I disapprove of factory farming which is cruel to animals, but that is not the main reason I abstain from meat.

I highly recommend reading the article I linked to above. Here are some of my thoughts on the matter:

1) Violence is always wrong, and it exists on a spectrum. Being cruel to a dog in my opinion is not equal to being cruel to a woman, but these actions are certainly related and both are wrong. Ross Douthat brings up that he would rather kill a thousand pigs than harm a single human, and I think he’s right. Luckily, I don’t think any of us will ever be faced with that dilemma. Not harming pigs and not harming humans will rarely be in opposition to each other.

2) But, what if we need to kill pigs so that humans can eat? The truth is that we can feed humans much more efficiently if we  don’t waste a lot of water, food, and other resources raising pigs for human consumption. On small farms, a few pigs can eat scraps of food that humans don’t want and later provide meat to humans. I don’t really see a problem with this, since those few pigs can be treated well while they are alive and killed in a painless way.

3) Douthat has some great insights about shame. I wish it were so shameful for someone to sexually assault another person that they would never be able to do anything normal in society ever again because other people would think they were so disgusting. But one reason this isn’t true is the sensitive nature of abuse. Domestic violence and sexual abuse are invisible because we are ashamed of the very subjects. This works great for abusers because instead of denouncing them, we would just rather not talk about it. It seems like it’s easier to be outraged by someone who abuses dogs because at least it’s not embarrassing to discuss it.

4) The Michael Vick case is mixed up with the issue of professional athletes and how much they get paid. I do not agree that football players should be paid millions of dollars, but I do believe that someone who spends time in jail and does not violate their parole should be able to return to their job. The outrage over this tells us (once again) the criminal justice system is broken. People apparently don’t think going to jail rehabilitated Michael Vick, so how do we expect incarceration to help other criminals pay for what they’ve done? In the past few years, I have been thinking deeply about what it means to “punish” people (kids, criminals, etc.), and what is supposed to happen after “punishment” is over. I really have no easy conclusions to draw, so I won’t draw any here.