It was a Freak Chow at the WeHo Halloween Festibal, and that’s what always makes a great Gaaaaaywalking! Can’t wait until this becomes a segment on TB!!!

Credits:
Executive Producer: Perez Hilton
Cinematography & Editing: Armen Soudjian
Original music by Christopher Bedian
La Coacha Theme Song by Saro Koujakian
“My Penis” by Perez Hilton
Hair and Makeup by Judie Tallman
Special Thanks to Ruth Ortiz and Sevag Demirjian

So, I was Snow White for Halloweeeeeen. It was so fun trying to be a white woman. I went all out. Dyed my hair negro, whore blue contact lenses and white powder. People thought I was wearing a really cool wig, pero my talented hairstylist Yudie Tallman, pinned my hair into a bob. Muy cute, que no? And the costume wouldn’t have been complete w/out my dwarf “Sleezy”. Joo guys like?

On Friday Coacha Coachita had a photochoot at MacArther Park. It once was a luxurious place in the early 1900’s. Pero, it now looks like my ghetto hometown of TJ.

Anyways, these pictures were taken for a new webside layout I am doing for early 2010. 

Here’s a pic of my sweetheart photographer Beth (on the left) y her sweetheart assistant Bonnie (on the right).

And here’s my totally fabulosa hair y makeup chica, Diana from E! Networks!!!!

So, can anyone guess what I was chooting at MacArther Park?????????????????????

This is the sparkly dress I will be wearing tomorrow. What color chud I paint my nails? What color flower chud I wear in my hair???  Suggestions? It’s gonna be an outdoor choot, on a ghetto street. Can’t wait =)

Ready? Here it is…

August 7, 2007 

“There are two missions La Coacha needs to accomplish this jeer, a) to be on TB and b) to find a Scorpio boyfren…

So when La Coacha went to Shine-o-Town, psykeek, tell her a) to do Feng Shoe in bedroom (paint room pink, put flowers everywhere, put bed where head torn east and feet torn west) and b) rent a romantic mobie to attract a man like that. So La Coacha went to bideo store and ask the Chinitas, “What is the most romantic film?”. The Chinitas say, “El Notebook”. So, I rented this pelicula and it was inbolievable. The lead boy was sactly the type o man La Coacha wants: pachionate, funny, down to urt, sexy y most importantly, Gentoman! 

That same night, Coacha’s French BFF, Bijou called to say, “Coachita, is a full moon! Make a witch!!!”. So Coacha went outside and spoke to the moon saying, “Moon! Moon! Find me a boy like the boy in El Notebook, pero IN REAL LIFE!!!” 

The next day Coacha got an email from a teenaged boy saying, “Coacha, guess who lubs joo?” Coacha say, “Eberybody?”. Boy say, “No..Guess again.”. I say, “WHO? WHO?”. Boy then say, “ANDY DICK!!” 

Coacha went back to the moon and said, “JOONIBERSE!!! I ASKED FOR DICK PERO JOO GAVE ME THE WRONG ONE!!!!”

I kept teenking about El Notebook ober and ober…. Then I got a coll from Bijou. La Bijou wanted to have some cafe con leche. So we went to Cafe 101 discuss about love, and then some Armenio men from the other booth, started flirting and making fun of Coacha, “Cha Cha come seet weed us!”. Coacha say, “Not rye now”. So smelly Armenio boys were mad.  After a while, Coacha realize that a maraca was missing. “NOOOOOO!!!!!” Los Armenios stole one maraca, it was soooo mean of those queenas to do that. All the waiters at Cafe 101 were trying to sheer me up, becoz I am a regular there. I could buy new maracas, pero the ones I had were given to me by my abuelitos, so it had meaning to me. The waiter look at me like I am crazy crying ober maracas, and I say, “How would joo feel weed one testicle?”

I was so depress and then Bijou say, “Coacha, Coacha. 3 o’clock!! “I ron know what direction 3 o’clock means, pero I toorned around and…I couldn’t believe it!!!!! THERE HE WAS!!! THERE HE WAS!!!! NOTEBOOK BOY!! THE REAL ONE! RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE!”

He was walking to his booth. I ran after him and sat down LIKE NOTTING!! I couldn’t believe he was talking to me, smiling, laughing, hugging…He loved me!! He really, really loved me. We took some pitchers toogether. 

I was so excited, I say “I can’t bolieve I am weed Mockoley Culkin!”. He started laughing like crazy JAJA!

I then gave him my Coacha flier and told him to sheck out bideos. He told me he would first teeng in the morn. Then, I hug him goodbye…

I wonder if I will eber run into him again. I will look up to the moon again toonight…

Well, “E” is Back!! Here’s the latest romantic poem he wrote for LaLa. I copied and pasted it.

Just for the hell of it,
I wanted to type away something while looking at your picture. Nothing in particular. Just thoughts that comes to mind.

I’m sure your profile picture was chosen for a reason. Maybe you wanted to update your profile because it’s a newer photo. Maybe you thought to yourself that this will get a lot of attention. Well, if that’s the case, you surely got mine!

The way you have it designed and those eyes sort of puts me in a trance….

You have me thinking of all types of ideas,
Thoughts that sometimes give me chills.
Oh don’t worry; I’m not talking about fear,
But the erotic ones whenever you’re near.

To stand in the rain, or take a shower together,
Is a romantic moment that I will always treasure.
To have you wet from the inside out,
That’s the kind of love I’m talking about.

I know I maybe saying a bit too much,
We haven’t even meet, not even a touch.
But this fantasy I have, I’m proud to say,
Inspires me to live on, to achieve that day.

When we meet face to face and embrace one another,
No longer a dream, for tonight we are lovers.
One mind, one body, one love, one soul,
For that is my one true passionate goal…

One Love!

Hope you enjoyed the poem!
Take care!

Just me,

E

My yewelry on top and and my tootoos y corsets on the bottom!

I put all my hair flowers in a Bictoria’s Secret bag.

I recently bought these Betsey Yonson necklaces. One is of a sherry, and another is a piece of cake and a fork, que cute!

I lost so many of my reengs, here’s what’s left =(

And here’s a little secret…

THERE’S A SHE WOLF IN EL CLOSET, AWUUUUUUUUUH!!!!

BTW, I only am sending packages to the first 100 people who emailed me. It cost too mosh money, specially the requests from Mexico, New Sealand, Phillipines, Joonited Kingdoms, Argentina y Peru…

So, I went to the post office to renew my PO Box, I had put it on hold for a day and guess what? That same day somebody bought my PO Box online!! I tried to buy a new one, pero they need all these different forms of identification como “Alien Registration Card” and all this other chit I ron have como “Deed of Trust, Armed Forced ID, Current Mortgage, Home Insurance Policy…” My driver’s license y credit cards aren’t enough. Como chingan! So, I need to wait a week or two until some of my new identifications come in the mail.

This sucks for the “Feliz Cumpleaños” packages I made, since their cumples will be ober by the time I send it the autografos. Patience is a birtue…

In the meantime, look at all the cute steekers I bought from Michael’s to poot on my autograph!!

I ron like to wear the color black unless it is combined weed animal print or a chalking color.

So, I saw this cebra print/hot pink ribbon dress at Ross for $19.99. I was debating whether I chud buy this spensive dress, until I saw it’s mashing $2.99 chonez!!

SOOOOOOLD!!!