Neuro Detour

Police target people with Disabilities. The Supreme Court Leaves the Americans with Disabilities Act Intact | American Civil Liberties Union http://ift.tt/1c4wumC

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Fri, 20 May 2016 14:04:00 +0000

Police target people with Disabilities. The Supreme Court Leaves the Americans with Disabilities Act Intact | American Civil Liberties Union http://ift.tt/1c4wumC

Mindfulness Therapy May Help Ease Recurrent Depression: MedlinePlus

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Wed, 04 May 2016 03:52:00 +0000

Free, no medicine tool to help depression, most likely even if yours depression is situational or physical health related.

This is also a little step I'm taking to return to my regular blogging on Neuro Detour. I've been absent for some time for various good and not so good reasons that will come out in future posts, which I'm hoping there will be more of soon.

Mindfulness Therapy May Help Ease Recurrent Depression: MedlinePlus

Get into My World! Get Off My Blog [Hater]!

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 13:53:00 +0000

No. Not you! You, my sisters and brothers and distant compassionate readers of true interest, stay with me.

The word gets out. It's a life. It shouldn't have to be...

VULNERABILITY

And another, more psychologically based phrase, your...

MORBID CURIOSITY

You've missed the whole point of this blog. I'm writing about the rare and disorderly - my rarity, my non-compliant body, how all this affects me... us - for this very reason. To end our feelings of vulnerability in the realm of those that are currently "whole", whose appointment books aren't littered with doctor's names and treatment, surgery, and procedure schedules, and personal reminders of who we are and what we do and what we did and what we should do. Knowledge, this shared intimacy, this bond I've created with you, should go beyond morbid curiosity, beyond pity and judgment. You should move beyond your fear of the different, the moderately deformed; our hearts are more whole, built and rebuilt, cemented and carpenter hinged, soldered and gorilla glued - so strong what's broken becomes unbreakable. I'm talking bones. I'm talking heart.

We, the different than you, the vertically challenged, the numb, the pained, the beat down, the dishonored, the disenfranchised, the differently abled are more able of heart than your life experience can provide.

To survive these lives is to be a superhero. We are ninjas and black belts of the earth and sky. We are divinity and soul that fills oceans and earth. We are richer than Oprah will ever be in dollars or sense [spelling intended]. We are reincarnations, multiple lives within however many years our bodies have sprawled this planet. We are astral projections. We are global realizations. We are strong. We have self-respect. We have accomplished the impossible. We are alive and smiling. We appreciate life more than you, and we probably enjoy it with more vim and verve too.

We deserve to be treated with respect.

So, if you've come here to "research me." To decide if I'm worthy of your time, a 2nd date, your consideration, your friendship, your purchase (of my artwork or neurochic)... you've come to the wrong place. This is for people who care. This is for people who want to learn more, to feel what we feel, to think what we think, to know what we know.

What Helped You Most After Your _______ Diagnosis?

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 23:48:00 +0000

I just skimmed a one-sided, but thought-provoking article by this title, the fill in the blank being Multiple Sclerosis, but this is an important question for all of us chronic illness-ers to ponder.

Perhaps it brings us a moment of miniature joy, perhaps a wholesome cry, perhaps an epic realization of hallucinogenic shamanic ritual proportions that makes it all make sense.

Regardless, the amount of comments on this article are filling quickly - I'm comment #34 and will paste it below - and I'd love to read, correction: we NEED to hear from those of you that choose to add your perspective in the comments section on author Julie Stachowiak, Ph.D.'s About.com page for above mentioned article, or just here among friends.

While the article and responses are like a straight line that needs some curves and hills, we - especially the stoic soloists in disease management - need to speak out. And we need not drop our heads in abandon (unless you're too tired to hold up your head) because we are alone.

I've always preferred collaboration, but I also craved the opportunity to be given the award of a solo for my extra sweat and infinite effort. It meant I arrived, graduated to another level; I was good enough; worthy.

I got used to working my ass off - literally - from a young age. As a dancer, if you want to make it, that's what you have to do. As a sicko, at a young age, or golden year, to be a true survivor - someone worthy of an encore, a cacophony of "bravo"s from the balcony, bouquets of flowers thrown at your feet from strangers and admirers - you have to be tough as shit wittling it's way from the cage of a stomach with gastroparesis.

Sick, I know.

But isn't that the point?! And isn't it the truth?

While, I've lost my need for stage presence, (and ability...) for perfect quadruple pirouettes or catapulting my body over another, I'm an olympian when it comes to navigating the triple sow cows (made up ice skating move) of my sicko-ensemble. I'm used to scraps and people's leftovers; to being the banged up tupperware that gets thrown in the freezer before it rots for good, or just tossed -tupperware and green fuzz - in the trash.

Do I see myself as someone else's trash?!

Yes and no. We've all been there. Trashed, pushed aside, forgotten, discarded, dumped, dejected, disowned by the people we love or like or like a little, just because we have something or things that are out of our control per their onset, but mostly in our control how we carry ourselves through the journey. Often times it doesn't matter which way we stumble - with grace or grumpiness; we're still left with our diagnosis (ses) as our only friend(s). Obviously, we need to broaden our social circle and not our disease panel, though sometimes the latter's inevitable, or both may go hand in hand... you never know.

SO WHAT HELPS?
Long rambling, short, I'm sick of being sick to other people and my appointment book. But I'm not gonna bitch about it beyond that. I have a therapist for that. (Highly recommended.)

As promised, here's my #34 comment. I hope you become a number on this page too - even if you're another hubby-is-my-savior-&/or-deserter-answer-er. We've all been screwed by the medical system, but here's our chance to turn that screw into a positive screw, and I could really use a positive screw... or two, or three, or.... That would really, really, really help, and it's doctor's orders.

MY RESPONSE COMMENT
Here's my sunny side of one of my neuro disorders response to Dr. Stachowski's article.

(34) NeuroDetour says:

My story is a little different. In 2008 I was partially paralyzed by a rare demyelinating disorder called Transverse Myelitis(TM), which is sort of like the opposite of MS, and has a 2-year recovery period. What you are left with in the end is what you have and 30% of us remain wheelchair- or bed-bound and on feeding tubes. Because of its rarity, my insurance denied coverage to the limited and integral treatment I needed, calling it “experimental”. When there are only 30,000 people in the US with a disorder, of course everything is experimental.

During our legal battle, I lost most of my functionality and I went 99% blind. Nine months after my initial TM diagnosis, my doc called with an apologetic tone; my MRIs and LP proved MS, which was caused by the TM.

Although my first disorder with an “ending” (but it turns out I’m in the 3% that has recurring TM) turned into a lifetime without prognosis, in many ways this diagnosis has been a relief.

The treatments for MS, such as IVIg & Plasmapharesis, overlap with the limited treatments for Transverse Myelitis. With my MS diagnosis, I never again (for the most part) had to fight the drug companies – for major or minor treatments, surgeries, meds. When in doubt, having MS has made my struggles with my other neurological disorders simplified. I have a total of 3; 2 of which are rare, therefore getting treatment approval is a secondary battle to battling the disorders themselves.

And living with chronic illness, any access to a simplified life is a good life… a better life.

Worst Gifts for People with Multiple Sclerosis - Gifts Not to Give People with MS | Diigo

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 21:46:00 +0000

Worst Gifts for People with Multiple Sclerosis - Gifts Not to Give People with MS | Diigo

To my Dear Neglected Neuro Detour-ers,

See. I do think of you, even when I’m just out of the hospital for a totally non-neuroite new problem, a blood clot in my fistula, which is much more complex, daunting, and death-defying than I care to get into (other than I could have died because when I asked about this hard painful lump taking over the guts of my fistula, the infusion nurse told me “no big deal" and "not to bother doing anything about it," but a few days passed as it grew to the size of a hacked off-genetically-altered-steroidal-pigeon-belly without its song or audible heart, and the now unfamiliar pain center at the fold of my elbow puffs out its hairless chest again and swallows it’s falsely remembered calming trill of its thrill) on this cold-sweat-dim-and-gray, no-plans-beyond-docs-and-prods, ass-still-sore=from-radiology’s-4-hour-wait-for-a-1-hour-ultrasound…of-not-the-pain-nor-the-uber-knowledgable-tech-shall-I-complain, back-on-morphine-for-the-fistulatic-pain, therefore-off-the-CRPS-LDN-clincial-trial, 4-days-to-IVIg, 3-weeks-to-Ketamine-in-Hackensack (yes North Jersey - long story; we’ll catch up, I promise), 4-weeks-to-knowing-if-“dangerous” surgery-will-be-required (like you haven’t heard the words surgery and dangerous coupled before!) atypically irksome PMS-ish mis-filed-and-incorrectly-dated-November-Friday.

Breathe
Breathe
Breathe

ASSUMPTION:
You will receive a holiday, happy new moments moment, or just for the eff of it gift from someone at some time in the near and distant future.

TO DO:
Bookmark this article (hyper-and-nakedly-linked several times on this page and in the post title) from About.com’s Multiple Sclerosis Portal, and print it out in duplicates; post to your refrigerator, blog, email auto response, Facebook page, Myspace Page, guerilla flyer tactical dissemination on the street, fold it up and place it under driver’s (parked only) wipers (hopefully before they’ve begun their gift shopping), take a picture of it and Instagram it even!

This is one of the first down-to-earth practical should-be-titled Miss Manners for MS and other Chronic Illnesses and Rare Diseases and Disability list of Dos and Donts that’s truly relatable to both the sicko and the sickee (the friend or gift giver to the sicko).

For your ease and reading pleasure, I’ve copied and pasted, without permission, the beginning of the article below. Click on the omnipotent link to get to the juice.

Gimapaliciously yours,
Melanie

***************************************

About.com

Multiple Sclerosis

http://ms.about.com/od/forfriendsandfamily/a/bad_gifts_for_msers.htm#

Gifts NOT to Give to People With Multiple Sclerosis

Avoid Gift-Giving Mistakes with These Tips

By Julie Stachowiak, Ph.D., About.com Guide

Updated December 15, 2009

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board

Giving a gift seems to get tricky and a little risky after the recipient passes the age of five. People have different tastes and often think they “need” different things than they are getting as gifts. The surge in gift card sales provides concrete data that people much prefer leaving the choice up to the individual who is receiving the gift.

There are some die-hards that still love to give gifts from the heart, gifts they have chosen themselves, based on some insight into their friend or loved one. They think about the person when choosing the gift, they imagine the reaction upon opening the gift – surprise, followed by joy, followed by profound gratitude.

If you are one of these people that loves the act of giving special things to your special people, more power to you. However, if one of your special people happens to have multiple sclerosis (MS), I’d like to offer a few tips to optimize your chances of gift-giving success and avoid tight-lipped glares in place of hugs.

Here are some general rules about things to avoid giving people with MS:

NEWS: Nominate Someone For A Whacky Wego Health Activist Award

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Mon, 12 Nov 2012 03:44:00 +0000

From Me to You:

[I've been verbally absent, and at times physically and cognitively... but I'm planning my recovery to include a grand return to my regular posts here on Neuro Detour. For our first time together again, I couldn't help but share this chance to get out of our bodies, bothers, and into gratitude. See, it's not a cop out for composing original material. I stumbled across this today, and thought it was fabulous. And I share Fabulous [sic]. The following is written and posted by WEGO Health.]

THE WEGO AWARDS PAGE:

Ready to get started? Just choose the award you'd like to nominate someone for - then tell us a bit more about them.

Here is a rundown of the awards. To read more about each award – visit the 2012 WEGO Health Activist Awards page.

Advocating for Another Award – Awarded to someone who raises awareness, speaks out, and advocates for the health condition of someone they love.

Best Ensemble Cast (Non-profit, advocacy group, health organization) – Awarded to a group who radvocates with tireless dedication and wide-reaching impact.

Best in Show: Blog - Awarded to someone who exemplifies the use of blogging to raise awareness and make connections.

Best in Show: Community/Forum - Awarded to someone who exemplifies the use of a community or forum to raise awareness and make connections.

Best in Show: Facebook - Awarded to someone who exemplifies the use of Facebook to raise awareness and make connections.

Best in Show: Twitter - Awarded to someone who exemplifies the use of Twitter to raise awareness and make connections.

Best in Show: Video – Awarded to someone who exemplifies the use of video to raise awareness and make connections.

Best Kept Secret – Awarded to someone in the online health community who is doing great work but hasn't gotten a lot of attention.

Health Activist Hero – Awarded to an inspiring, supportive, and knowledgeable Health Activist who has truly changed people’s lives.

Hilarious Health Activist Award - Awarded to the Health Activist who makes you laugh alongside their advocacy. Nominate your favorite comedian.

Ms/Mr. Congeniality – Awarded to someone who always has a kind word, a positive note, and a virtual hug.

Paperboy Award – Awarded to the Health Activist who always delivers the latest and greatest health news and research.

Rookie of the Year – Awarded to a Health Activist who came on the scene in 2012 but has inspired the entire community.

Silver Stethoscope – Awarded to a healthcare professional who utilizes social media, online community, and technology to make the world a better place.

Trailblazer Award – Awarded to the Health Activist who is ahead of every curve, excited by new technology, and encourages everyone to join them.

Unsung Hero Award – Awarded to the member of your community who is always helping, advising, and sharing – but may not know how amazing and valuable they are.

Want to get involved in the 2012 WEGO Health Activist Awards but not sure who to nominate? Sign up on the awards page, and we'll make sure to keep you in the loop!

Gimp This! intl. & Neuro Detour Links & Neurostorming 05/28/2012

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Mon, 28 May 2012 07:30:00 +0000

BARNES & NOBLE | Out of My Mind by Sharon M. Draper, Atheneum Books for Young Readers | NOOK Book (eBook), Paperback, Hardcover
Tags: no_tag
- Melody, diagnosed with cerebral palsy, cannot walk or talk. Despite her parents' best efforts, the outside world has defined her by her condition
  - - By M. Miller
- ara Saxton, Tuzzy Consortium Library, Barrow, AK
- Children's Literature
- school moves to an inclusion model and Melody is able to attend classes with "regular" kids, she finds that she is the outcast among them

Posted from Diigo. The rest of Gimp This! intl. group favorite links are here.

Gimp This! intl. & Neuro Detour Links & Neurostorming 05/27/2012

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Sun, 27 May 2012 07:31:00 +0000

Frequently Asked Questions about Filing an ADA Complaint with the U.S. Department of Justice
2. What information should my ADA complaint include?
The most important part of filing a complaint is ensuring that you provide the Department with the following information:
Your full name, address, the telephone numbers where we can reach you during the day and evening, and the name of the party discriminated against (if known);The name and address of the business, organization, institution, or person that you believe has discriminated;A brief description of the acts of discrimination, the dates they occurred, and the names of individuals involved;Other information that you believe necessary to support your complaint, including copies of relevant documents (not originals); andProvide us the information we need to ensure that we communicate with you effectively. Please let us know if you need to receive written communications in a specific format, such as large print, Braille, e-mail, or audio recording, or if you need to receive oral communications by video phone or TTY.To ensure that all necessary information is provided, you may use this ADA complaint form (http://www.ada.gov/t2cmpfrm.htm), which can be used for any ADA complaint.3. How do I file an ADA complaint by e-mail?
Include all of the information listed above, either in the body of the email or in an attachment to your e-mail. Please attach any relevant documents to your e-mail. Send your complaint to the following e-mail address: ada.complaint@usdoj.gov. You will receive an automatic reply e-mail confirming that your complaint has been received. Please keep a copy of your complaint and the reply e-mail for your records. If you do not receive a reply email, you may have sent your complaint to the wrong e-mail address.
Tags: questions, filing, ada, complaint, u s Dept. of Justice” File mediation, how, to
- - By M. Miller
- Frequently Asked Questions about
  Filing an ADA Complaint with the U.S. Department of Justice
- How can I file an ADA complaint with the Department of Justice?
- How do I file an ADA complaint by e-mail?
- - What happens after my complaint is received?
  - How can I find out the status of my complaint?
- What happens if my complaint is opened for investigation?
- How do I get answers to other questions about the ADA or more information about filing an ADA complaint?
- To ensure that all necessary information is provided, you may use this ADA complaint form (http://www.ada.gov/t2cmpfrm.htm), which can be used for any ADA complaint.
- Include all of the information listed above, either in the body of the email or in an attachment to your e-mail. Please attach any relevant documents to your e-mail. Send your complaint to the following e-mail address: ada.complaint@usdoj.gov. You will receive an automatic reply e-mail confirming that your complaint has been received. Please keep a copy of your complaint and the reply e-mail for your records. If you do not receive a reply email, you may have sent your complaint to the wrong e-mail address
- Please be aware that the receipt of complaints sent by regular mail or some other delivery service may be delayed by 4 - 6 weeks because of necessary security screening precautions
- m (http://www.ada.gov/t2cmpfrm.htm) or a signed letter containing the information and documents described above to the following address:
  
  U.S. Department of Justice
  
  Civil Rights Division
  
  Disability Rights Section - NYAV
  
  950 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W.
  
  Washington, D.C. 20530
- If you are unable to prepare a complaint yourself because of a disability, you may have your complaint taken orally over the telephone. To schedule an appointment for an oral complaint, call the ADA Information Line at 1-800-514-0301 (voice) or 1-800-514-0383 (TTY) to make an appointment. Individuals who communicate using American Sign Language (ASL) may schedule an appointment to make a compliant using a direct video connection to a member of our staff.
- How can I find out the status of my complaint?
  
  We review each complaint carefully. Because we receive a large volume of ADA complaints from people throughout the United States, our review can take up to 3 months and sometimes longer. If you have not heard from us by the end of this 3 month period, you can find out the status of your complaint by calling 1-800-514-0301 (voice) or 1-800-514-0383 (TTY). A member of our staff will contact you to tell you if your complaint has been received and if it is still under consider
- The ADA Mediation Program provides mediation services free of charge in an effort to achieve a cooperative resolution of ADA complaints against businesses and state and local governments
- if you are both willing to participate in mediation.
- How will the information in my complaint be used?
  
  The personal information will be used primarily for the Department of Justice’s authorized civil rights compliance and enforcement activities. We will not disclose your name or other identifying information about you unless it is necessary for enforcement activities
The ADA and City Governments: Common Problems
Tags: ada, city, governments, problems, disability, disability rights movement, issues, housing, accessibiity, research, Resources, technology, regulations
- Issue: Local Laws, Ordinances, and Regulations
- City governments may fail to consider reasonable modifications
  in local laws, ordinances, and regulations that would avoid discrimination
  against individuals with disabilities.
- Laws, ordinances, and regulations that appear to be neutral
  often adversely impact individuals with disabilities. For example,
  where a municipal zoning ordinance requires a set-back of 12
  feet from the curb in the central business district, installing
  a ramp to ensure access for people who use wheelchairs may be
  impermissible without a variance from the city. People with disabilities
  are therefore unable to gain access to businesses in the city.
- City governments are required to make reasonable modifications
  to policies, practices, or procedures to prevent discrimination
  on the basis of disability. Reasonable modifications can include
  modifications to local laws, ordinances, and regulations that
  adversely impact people with disabilities. For example, it may
  be a reasonable modification to grant a variance for zoning requirements
  and setbacks.
- Issue: Law Enforcement Policies, Practices,
  and Procedures
- When dealing with persons with disabilities, law enforcement
  agencies often fail to modify policies, practices, or procedures
  in a variety of law enforcement settings -- including citizen
  interaction, detention, and arrest procedures.
- Title II of the ADA requires law enforcement agencies to make
  reasonable modifications in their policies, practices, or procedures
  that are necessary to ensure accessibility for individuals with
  disabilities,
- aw enforcement officers
  should be prepared to make reasonable modifications,

Posted from Diigo. The rest of Gimp This! intl. group favorite links are here.

The unfinished thought. The unpublished posts. Speaking and Listening. Is it really 50/50 in brains with neurological disorders?

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 08:19:00 +0000

I haven't completed a post in months. I've accumulated 60+ unfinished posts way past due for publication... but some day.... I have more To Do lists and To Do's done. And more tiny notebooks full of thoughts and ideas and poems and projects and things I will accomplish that will change the world or change my world, or just get me up to speed with the world, or your grandmother. But to be honest, I don't even know which world (or grandma) I'm racing against - or maybe it's that I forgot which world it was, or maybe there are just too damn many worlds to fit into this mind and body... and vice versa.

FLASHBACK

Since I could write, I wrote lists. I made lists for every thing, occasion, time of day. And I completed those lists. In my early 20s I wrote a 1-, 5-, and 10-year plan of my dream life. And as my dreams changed or progressed I revised the plan, and I accomplished what I set out to do; what I had known I would do since I was a child.

At 36, I'm lucky if I complete the setting and doing of my daily speech therapy project (it's a really good one if you don't beat yourself up for screwing up); three daily goals - simple tasks, like give self copaxone injection; prepare for doctor's appt., etc. - more basic than the lists I made at age six. And I am lucky - reminder to self: I CAN WALK (most of the time - and with durable medical equipment, but I can walk!)

Image via CrunchBase

Today, after my twice weekly speech therapy session, I was a bit inspired, and I logged onto one of my favorite Web sites, dictionary.com. After looking up a few words (I thought were knew, but I had merely forgotten), I scrolled down to the quote of the day. Enamored by it, I clicked the little elephant head at the top of my computer screen and saved a screenshot of it to Evernote to add to my list of favorite quotations.

Tagging is a strange thing. I never know when to stop. As my speech therapist said, "I get elaborate." One day, I limited myself to three tags per note, or bookmark. What an internal struggle. As though I was contemplating life and death; but no, alas, to tag or not to tag. Which tags are the answer?

Today amidst my elaborate tagging, combined with the profundity of the Quote of the Day, the word ampersand, it's definition & etymology and probably a few other internalized ingredients, like ritalin and morphine, (that was well controlled 2-tagger!) taken as prescribed a poem spawned - in Arial 10pt between the screenshot above and my literary diligence below- how to cite the quote in the screenshot in every possible and acceptable manner copied and pasted and ready for use.

In order to complete this post and hit that sweet orange Publish button, I'll let my Evernote note speak for itself. Just remember, I'm a rusty poet, and it's just a first draft. It ain't no Montaigne, but it's a start... and for today's goal, a finish.

UNFINISHED or
TO BE CONTINUED or
CLIFFHANGER ON THE EDGE OF THE EARTH...
AGAIN... BUT...AND...

The neuro brain, at least in my case, does not understand time. I don't experience it, I don't feel it passing, I don't know until my skin tingles and burns and my joints talk - take your meds, I need my meds. I don't know when it's Wednesday or Tuesday, or if that funny thing happened this week or last year. My time is as flat as the bible's Earth. Is there a Flat Timer's Society*[see [*] reference @ bottom. it's giggle worthy], just like the Flat Earther's? If so, sign me up. OR no, take me off the list and mark as spam. I'm working on relearning time. Maybe this is something I should get into when I have more of it.

And speaking of which, I'm going to publish this as is right now - WITHOUT every link, photo, graph, likeness, or the actual post I planned to post... because my time management still sucks, and I have two adorable nieces waiting for me. They are much more important than spell check, some creative commons pics to spice up the page, or "finishing" this, or any, blog post or daily goal. AT least I can say: I set out, I did, and I adjusted.

However, I will take advantage of Zemanta's generosity, and swiftly add the related reading links to give you the richest experience possible, while making me look really smart and thoughtful. Click, click, click, done. IF you're a blogger and you haven't downloaded Zemanta - do it. It rocks.

ADJUSTING - A WORD WITH MANY MEANINGS
Adjusting is one of the key bullet points of the neuro-gimp-sicko life. Yeah, we all make adjustments. I certainly made a lot pre-neuro, pre-gimp, pre-sicko (by definition). I can think of my marriage and divorce. My home life and my 17-year old escape, concrete as disownment and it's etymology - really, no joke, click the link.

I'm taking ownership of this text in progress, and I'm hoping this is interesting enough for you to look forward to PART II, where I reveal my source, myself in verse (non-rhyming, non-meter, thankyou), and in anal-ity. (I made up that word, use as you desire.)

And, to play with words, as you know I prefer even more than Tonka Trucks™ and Barbie Dolls™: existing or being with a sense or knowledge of time, would in many logical debates result with the winning conclusion that being so means, in short, that one is timeless. Isn't that a nice thought to end with - at least for me.

Timelessly yours,
Melanie
aka To Be Continued Woman

* FUNNY:
When I searched for Flat Timer's Society this was one of the PAGE 1 hits:

any flat chested first timers noticing a growth in chest size ...

any flat chested first timers noticing a growth in chest size?: I am 7 weeks,with my first baby ... Back to July 2010 Birth Club ...
community.babycenter.com/post/a18984215/any_flat_c...

SINGLE, SEXY, & GIMPALICIOUS SERIES: The Poetics of Dating: Gimp Style.

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 05:14:00 +0000

FIRST, AN UPDATE.

SECOND, THE GIMP RIFF (you're expecting)

THIRD, PS: Related Articles, Citations, Further Reading, Etc.

FIRST
Among the 52 unpublished backlog of post drafts I've started, perhaps finished, maybe edited and re-edited until I forgot what I was writing about, or where I was (true story), exist various series, or new themes I've been considering, researching, or experiencing. When the stars align, and I come back to the EDIT POSTS/ DRAFTS pages, I'm now as overwhelmed by the enormous task of choosing what to edit, what's ready to go and just needs a proof, or a pic, or a link, or which posts are in neuro cognitive impairment chaos.

Neuro is as Neuro does
I've decided that it's time to forgo my perfectionist personality, accept the limitations of my brain and body, such as my inability to experience time in any sense, or how my brain shuts my body down when it's over-stimulated (perhaps explaining the time issue), or how I have difficulty knowing where to start, where to end, and remembering the feeling or even the experience that prompted me to start that obviously imperfect post, as it's still in hiding - buried in the chaos of the Internet, or nets, or intra-brains, wasauchimmer!

e.g., The former should have been a minimum of 3 sentences, not 1 run on ramble. But, fuck it! I'm Neuro & I'm Proud! Say it with me, or make up your own: fuck it! I'm Neuro & I'm Proud! Damn, that feels really fucking good!

Seeking Closet Organizer Who Does Brains Too
To organize my brain and my health, I must organize my life. Part of that organization includes acceptance of what this life is - and I've been a neruo gal for 3+ years now, I should know, right?!

WRONG.

In neuro years, something like the Aztec calendar, or dog years without the hidden equations, I am 3 years, 9 days old. That's in Diagnosis Years. In Symptom Years, it's much more difficult to both pinpoint the date of birth(DOB) and understand what that means, re: age, experience, etc.

I've now written words and erased them 5 times. So I'll stop my preface, and allow the post, the page to exist as is. And, whew, that was my point. Over the next few months,

I'll be posting those 52 drafts AS IS. Why? Because that's the neuro brain, and this is Neuro Detour.

If you want perfection, visit a proofreader's blog. If you want to understand, relate to, find solidarity in, the confusing, complicated, chronic, uncensored Gimp, Sicko, RARE Neurological, Chronic Pain, Autoimmune, Incurable and Unpredictable Labyrinthine reality of being an alien (and activist) like the conglomerate of all of the above, I've plenty waiting to see the light of Web, and Welcome!

Now, now... the release of these 52 posts doesn't mean I'm giving up on writing well. Consider these AS IS posts as both confession, i.e., the underbelly of chronic illness, and the nomenclature of neuroism. As Yiddish is to Hebrew. Spanglish to Spanish or English, Schweiz Deutsch to Hoch Deutsch... this Neuro Detour gal is building the 1st Neuroictionary (and if ANYONE POACHES THIS I'll gimpslap you.. for starters).

Drum Rolllllllll: Introducing my Green Eggs & HAM-Inspired 1st Draft Impromptu Poem
So here goes. In the spirit of full-neuro-disclosure, I'm sharing this personal neuro-ly transparent post with you as what it is, an:

AS IS,
UN-EDITED,
1st DRAFT of a reaction,
i.e., neuro-tangent, to
the original 1st draft, which
has been cut and pasted into
an entirely new post soon to be published
in the same manner.

SECOND

Gimpalicious, 1-in-1 million & 1-of-a-kind* 35-ishWoman seeks Mad Love, or a 2nd date, or some fucking honesty.

Will you love me when I'm green?
Will you love me when I'm bruised?
Will you love me when my broken parts move
from the inside to the out?

Will you love your promises transfixed as dreams,
my stupid something beautiful to look forward to,
such as my stupid relentless hope?

Will you call me
if I strut my stuff with a Cane?
if I wobble with weak legs?
if I prefer to be carried for our first few walks in the park
by metal and wheels
and not your muscles, unbreakable bones,
arms I want to jump into,
arms I can't wait to jump into,
but I don't

Will you ask me to be your other
when I remember how many times I did the above
and how many times I was dropped to the ground
and when I looked up, looked all around, I was alone
and the bank of a beautiful future where I deposited my trust
ran off into the sunset, disappeared? in hiding?
aloof and impenetrable to recourse or punishment -
laws that no lawyer could convince a jury.

Might you love me with Allodynia? Any possibility
you'll still want to see me again? and again?
Would you love me with Edema, Brain Lesions, Blotches, and bluer than the sea?

Will you love me stuttering? Not dancing, but with a Walker?
Will you love me when I cry, because everyone has left?
including the vocabulary, that word, that word, invisible but exists?
Will you love me when I'm a blank page,
black outs mounting without an ounce of alcohol?

Will you love me when I wake - all night long.
When I hallucinate, degenerate, and hate those who berate

my brothers and sisters
and my body
and my mind
antipodal
from perfect,
nor reproducible, or
understood
by most white coats, residents, family, or medicine and science?

Will you love me when I stay home, supine and solemn?

Will you love my skin?
Will you always want to touch?
Will you love me gently, proudly, consistently?

Will you love me as I

gad
about?

When I become a
gadabout, gadding gadding gadding
late, flustered, painted in flashes of heat and humility.

When I apologize for being me?
Will you believe me?

Will you love me
when I apologize

for acts and inaction?
inert or bumbling like fireflies in a jar?

Will you love me when my ruler upsets us
the same and different? When I'm sorry
my body,
belonging not to you or me,
on best days and even better or worse?
when my rarity flips
from endearing to disease, an incurable disorder?

Will you love me when the government calls me a burden?

and the neighbors, our friends too... as far back as childhood,
your sister, brother, mother, and mine, chime chime chime
in cahoots with ignorance?

When congress dumps me

without prognosis, income, or insurance?

Will you love me when I'm purple, legs like a sunset, a black whole, an albatross.
Will you love me rolling miles of road without embarrassment?
When I stand up and shout, in solidarity with all inequality?
When I fundraise, volunteer, take phone calls from Indonesia
at hours you (hopefully) once believed indecent?

When you realize you might be a little bit racist,

a bigot, a tacit player in the general disgust
of gimps and sickos, even those not willing

to accept the global, local, my, your city's architecture of disrespect?

Will you love your choices, your words that stumbled
from your mouth
to the air of reality...?
When you wake up to the same woman
who flirted in fancy panties, all fantasies fulfilled
who turned you on with her body and beauty...

who you told
I love you, you're the best
I've ever had,
a smile, beyond imagination

with whom you dreamed in daylight of every kind of a fun,
a fancy future, plans, travels, a family... you called it infinite

Will you love the same woman forever,
follow through with your avowal when the feast of her flesh

fleshes
out,

widens, unfurling a face
carrying forty strange pounds, uninvited guests?
When I don't know how to make them leave?
When they come back again and again,
benign to your threats?

When she, pardon me, I am a changeling, one-and-one-half
multiplied my size, the size that makes you feel your sex?
Will you love

the fat face? passionately?
perched upon my face.

Or when I choke, dry heave, unable to swallow
the tension,
skin not skin
stretched taut as a sheath
of tightrope.

Will you love my pain and muscle it away?
When it consumes me, removes me
from our home to my second home,

a homely hospital
without a bed for two?

Will you love me then?

One night. One week. Two weeks. Three weeks. More...
and repeat
One night. One week. Two weeks. Three weeks. More...
and repeat
One night. One week. Two weeks. Three weeks. More...

sharing a bedroom, with stranger after stranger,
a floor of helpers and healers, (I know they will not leave me, judge me, resent me)
but not with you?

When pain is human, so
huge, the losses

One night. One week. One year. Three... More...
and repeat

and consume, and my dream
is to step out
onto that tightrope,

14 stories, 18 stories, a rooftop deck, and
finally be brave

enough to die.
and repeat
and repeat
and repeat

until I accept the losses. not poetics. loss is loss. a father, gone. a mother, gone. a brother, so far away. a sister, condemner, judger, so real they believe my pain is theirs and theirs is greater because my pain is so great, and newsworthy, the greatest pain in the world, with references to prove it.

Will you love me when you realize life is pain?
When you forget then remember the equation:

l= [p2 + p3] + x

[l x l2] ~ x

Will you love me when you understand every morning
I have to choose another day:

pain? you? us? or an end that doesn't exist? because love
should replace the pain, smite disease, because love

mostly, does tell me to stay more
than when love tells me to go.
Because I'm able to trust despite history and love you
more than you resent the cages you see around you;
otherwise known as chronic, incurable, disease;
otherwise known as me?

###

DISCLAIMER: This is a poem, it is not a real singles ad. It is a commentary, not a solicitation.

"Yoga Helps Stroke Victims"... so shouldn't it help all of us gimps too?

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 03:17:00 +0000

Yoga Helps Stroke Victims

Not certain how reliable the source is, but as an ex-yoga practitioner of almost 15 years (before Neuro-ism Struck.... ironically during a morning yoga class), and someone who was probably been a minus 6 on the balance scale (see article: linked above and in the post title), and an I got bored with the 6 exercises you had to give me in aqua therapy so I created my own yoga-qua-therapy (including a water version of downward dog without getting your hair wet thus no wet barking dog smell to ruin the serenity with our hyper-superpower-sensitive senses)....

I think this is exciting. Finally we nationalist-capitalist-imperialists are embracing some of the wisdom and natural healing available to us for centuries from other cultures. So turn off your xenophobe, and PLEASE SHARE any ideas or experiences with incorporating non-occidentalist-pills-infusions-scalpels-long hospital stays experiences, practices, trials, accidents, or tribulations with out of the good-ol'-American-box medical practice that we all know and love so well.

Looking forward to hearing what's worked or not worked or might be working for you - especially if it's free :).

I've missed you,

Melanie

PS I'm in an art show in NYC this week with funds going to research and treatment for patients with rare and incurable diseases. If you're a New Yorker - or going to be in NYC-er, and you want more info, comment here and when I can get off my couch potato ass (just finished day 3 of high-dose IVIg infusions), I'll post the details.

PPS I actually own that book... and it's fascinating and appropriate for anybody interested in body-mindanatomy... perhaps served with a hint of neuroplasticity.

Here's another book on my shelves. This one, I'm reading right now. I kept the image in because 1) I couldn't get it to delete; and 2) I felt it would be a good visual to differentiate the subject from the likes of Barbie and other fine plastic ware.

For the record, I purchased my copy from my local individually-owned bookstore - Joseph Fox Books - for about 2x what Amazon is offering.

Neuroism of the 4th

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 18:35:00 +0000

No fireworks here, just a neuroism on one of my not-meant-to-be neuro-ite blogs.

If you're curious enough to click on the blog title (it links to the blog post as noted), you'll also see where my interest has remained. Actually, it's a blog I started during my the last class I completed of my MFA before Transverse Myelitis Lightening shot that degree out of the (current) ball park.

It might be your last chance to see my previous blog wizardry (choke on water, need speech therapy kind of wink wink), because I'm thinking of shutting down that blog for good.

In case you forgot what this post was about by now (that would be me), here's the link:
http://melanie-miller.blogspot.com/2011/07/quote-of-day-jdmpapgaf.html

2 Gimps With 1 Stone: 1) Mel - Art Opening (tomorrow). 2) Seeking Strong Bodies - Dis-InEquality Live Art (tomorrow).

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 21:23:00 +0000

2 Gimps With 1 Stone - a horrible thing to say, but i'm spent and rushed and neither of those are good for 1 gimp, let alone 2 with or without a stone. Tweet me anyway, please?

And now, I introduce to you............. a 2 part email ............ this time actually with two parts!

Mel's in an Art Show! TOMORROW!

The James Oliver Gallery Presents:

"Femme"

featuring 18 international artists

in a mixed media group exhibition exploring gender – in all its dimensions - the 21st century

OPENING RECEPTION, June 18, 6-10PM

James Oliver Gallery
723 Chestnut St., 4th floor
Philadelphia, PA 19106
www.jamesolivergallery.com
jamesolivergallery@gmail.com
267-918-7432


That's me as Old Mel in Bodiverse. And the Gallery Logo... how'd that get there?

[insert mel]
And I'm reviving my NeuroDemon-Abandoned "ongoing" project Bodiverse. Reincarnated as a 35-minute non-video-art-video-art work. The short description is: the body; the verse; the universe. The long one's all over the pages of the Bodiverse blog. Just google it, and save me the time of links and all that jazz.

After all... I've been IVIg-less since Medicare kicked in May 1. So I can't even see what I'm typing.

Keep on, keepin' on.... for details about this awesome group exhibit. [Hint: There's a surprise for you at the end.... not a box of chocolate, but almost as expensive!]

[insert gallery]

Oliver wanted the artists to have free reign when developing work for “Femme” – an expression both foreign and innate - that conjures thoughts, emotions, images, experiences, and memories as inclusive as they can be exclusive; as intimate and commonplace as they can be political and controversial; timely, post-contemporary, and historical; ideals and ordeals of gender, femininity, or feminism.

The variety of mixed-gender artists tackled this broad subject as variously as the artists themselves, resulting in a thought-provoking, intimate ,and universal mixed media exhibition of “Femme” expressed through painting, photography, sculpture, glass, multimedia video, performance, and installation art – as well as the possibility for the on-looker to become art in the show. “Not be be missed,” says James Oliver, gallery owner.

Featuring Artists

Pete Checchia • Karen Gibson • Anthony DeMelas • Nick Cassway • Ernie Sandidge

Melanie Miller • Jesse Beamesderfer • Rick Fichter • Gretchen Diehl

Antonia Cianfrani Brady Sanders • Zito • Benjamin Sperry

Denise Fike• Erin Etcker • James Oliver • Tom Buildmore

[insert Mel: and don't forget]

Opening Reception

June 18th, 6PM-10PM

The exhibit will run through August 20th

II.

Seeking STRONG BODIES

to be in a GIMP THIS! Art Installation.

TOMORROW!

Also @ James Oliver Gallery's Femme Opening Reception

This is what's posted on Craig's List. Get out your reading glasses, press zoom, just be you're super human self, or click on the image and go right to the original post.

However you swing your cane, feel free to respond if you know a STRONG & WILLING body, I mean person:

could i take any more short cuts?!

Thanks all! Pass it on if you can!

Yours in Neuroism, Art, & Lights that are way too bright,
Melanie

PS.

The Prize!

For being so great and making it to the end, here's a little gift... a very, very, very short excerpt from Bodiverse @ James Oliver Gallery I

1. On Losing - voice, rhythm, the word I want to place here; 2. Quote of the Moment... 2 versions.

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Wed, 25 May 2011 02:29:00 +0000

On Losing:

voice, rhythm, the word I want to place here

I have been lost. This happens from time to time - in taxis en route to....?, yes, it's 1995, how did I get here?, where is my shawl?, where did all this blood come from?, my chin's split open!, did I fall? was I mugged? pushed accidentally? and when? and where? and how?

Since we last saw each other, I've lost my voice - the CRPS taking over more of what was once mine. But my voice has returned, speaking and vision (take this how you like). And I lost you in the crossfire. So, how have I existed these past few months without you?!

If I answer, I'll give away the punchline, much like premature textulation(TM)*. Please forgive me. I'm excited to be here, to say hello and send gentle air hugs to my brothers and sisters, my non-neuro friends and family, readers and new readers too. We have a lot of catching up to do - more than I can recall (lucky you).

Cross your pain meds and hope I can still write. Put your pain patches on, 'cause I'm going for a ride... hopefully one that's followable (insert stupid smiley face).

*Neuro for sending a text before finishing typing it.

CALL ME SISYPHUS

Being sick, recovery, relapse, see then not, a blur, double, triple, quadruple, kaleidoscopic, multidimensional as though a person becomes 2, 3, 4, of itself sideways and back ways - 8-dimensional "sight". This is called living like Sisyphus, better, worse, up, down, stand, sit - just for a moment, bed-ridden, hospital-living, home-bound, out-bound with caution: the right shoes, the necessary accessories to protect this angry body and its burning skin from the vicious knife-throwing wind, crippling cold, or heat that melts what muscle we own - temporarily as it is, even our eyelids, napping beauty.

I'm embarrassed by my absence. My weakness. A sadness that waffles among hate, fatigue, active ignoring - the phone, the people I love who are ignoring me, leaving me, forgetting, sick of a sicko with bravado. This winter and spring I relapsed and relapsed and relapsed and relapsed with flares and flares and exacerbation after exacerbation.

TRIFECTA ATTACK

The trifecta, all three of my neuro disorders, turned on me consecutively and then for the finale in concert. Scarier and more than "more" upsetting than the CRPS flare that took my breath away (truly) or the back to back MS exacerbations, was my first TM relapse - 3 months after my 2-year recovery mark.

Lucky

This time, my organs were paralyzed rather than my mobility. Whew! The last weekend of my family visit to Pittsburgh, I filled it with a first-class party in one of Pittsburgh's esteemed hospitals, known as Presby - where, without an adult CRPS specialist anywhere in Western PA, they kicked me to the curb the morning after I arrived by ambulance. Short and sweet and useless. Had I been in Philly, that would have resulted in at least a 1- or 2-week respite.

That Ain't My Ho'Po

In the ER, my entire body convulsing in myoclonic seizures like a pissed off horse holding a 3-hour grudge they quickly got me into a room, as I was scaring the other ER attendees and some residents too. Once in my aproned-off room, still myoclonic and my bladder frozen and uncooperative, filled with 1600cc - enough to Wow! both of my nurses, as well as the idiot resident who squeezed my hand like a corporate power shake then slapped her unusually large hand down on my thigh.

Needless to say, as I was having my bladder professionally drained, I schooled the daft resident in CRPS symptomology and etiquette.

Let's Celebrate!... before and after we mourn.

I finished the wild weekend, weak and in heightened CRPS pain enjoying the company of my family, especially the cuddle time on the couch with my grandmother, not knowing that would be the last time I'd see her, my nieces, and my bro, during the part of the year - my 7-year-old nieces birthday party!

Which, by the way, I plan to party like a single-digit-year-old this birthday year. Theme suggestions anyone? July's a comin'.

Having gone through divorce, becoming a full-time patient with three neurological disorders, two of which are very rare, incurable and misunderstood, I've learned, or rather taught myself to live without expectations, or at least try my damnedest .

Huh?
Shit, I forget where this paragraph was going. Neuro Brain.

I'm no Schwarzenegger, but I'll be back (with a heavy German accent).
Pardon me, while I pause for a day or 2 while my brain recovers. I'll return with the rest of part 1, and hopefully I'll even get to part 2 in the same post.

To be continued...

PS There are about 10-15 unfinished posts wasting away in my draft queue. By quick glance, some of the titles look pretty juicy. Don't be concerned if you come across a brand-spankin'-new post dated in 2009, but stepping out in 2011. This time, it's not dementia - most likely. I'm attempting the neuro-impossible: to finish what I start.

Back to the ho'po'

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 20:17:00 +0000

For those of you that don't have a home away from home, ho'po', is melanie-ism for hospital. Second time this year...it's a slow 2011!

This new flare started last night; when I have more time I'll explain it to you. But for now, just wanted to let you know that myself, and all the posts I haven't finished for posting yet will be in Hahnamann for a week or so, give or take.

Check back soon.

Your Chronic-Neurochic-Glamour-Gimp-alicious-Sista',
Melanie

IVIg Activism: An AWESOME IVIg Campagin Video & YOUR TURN to Speak Out

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 03:04:00 +0000

Michelle Vogel

This just in from Michelle Vogel of the he Alliance for Plasma Therapies:

On February 10th, the Alliance for Plasma Therapies and the MS Society are introducing legislation in CA to stop the practice of tier IV plans/specialty tiers/coinsurance in private insurance plans in the State of California. We are going to be holding a press conference in San Francisco and ABC News wants to interview a patient who has been forced to pay coinsurance (instead of a flat copay per infusion a percentage of the cost of their IVIG). Please let me know if this has happened to you and if you are willing to share your story. You can email me [Michelle] at mvogel@plasmaalliance.org

While this initiative is currently for California, and this call for patients is specific to Northern California Patients, I hope we can get the Alliance, our local MS Society branches, and maybe even my friends at I.G. Living and Families USA to not only advocate politically on a regional level, but to continue this specific political and community awareness campaign throughout the US and beyond.

I must admit first, I've been out of the activist loop as I've been recovering from a triple exacerbation that landed me in a respectable Western PA hospital (that DID NOT KNOW WHAT! to do with me) while visiting family and hasn't given my portacath a break since. (This is my third week straight attached to an IV pole and the third treatment type of infusion therapy.) So I do not know if or what compatible campaigns are happening in Pennsylvania, or any other state (other than Cali) for that matter. Yes. I am an ignorant blogger. Tsssk, tsssk. Shame, shame.

Since when have I cared about the judgments of dissenters or righty tighties????, unless they are my mother or brother, of course.

But weak, delusional, flared, or on fire, I'll never stop bull-horning about Aetna's corruption and its life-threatening effects. This is an issue that affected me so profoundly adversely, thanks to Aetna (you can find many a post about them and my experience), that it's hard to know how much healthier I might be today if it weren't for their capitalist, self-serving policies.

As may have heard this from me, or read about this in a new book on the subject (neuro moment... title, eek), I had to lose my vision, after losing multiple appeals for IVIg coverage during most crucial 3 months of my recovery from Transverse Myelitis, despite the help of THE amazing pro-bono attorney, Jennifer Jaff, the brilliant visionary behind Alliance for Patients with Chronic Illness.

I should be grateful that I didn't have to repeat the battle with my current insurance company, however I too must pay coinsurance on my infusions - and even without TM or MS exacerbation or an RSD (aka CRPS) flare-up, I survive off the fruits of many many infusions and plasma therapies.

And this is something I still can't understand...

Why is being sick so expensive, often even more, sooooo much more money than the limited income SSDI and/or Long Term Disability provides us certified gimps to live? And even more offensive, SSDI makes us wait 2 years before receiving Medicare.

But that's another action to be redressed again, don't worry.

If you're not inspired yet by all of these impassioned people and non profits, you will be. Watch this video.

So, pretty amazing, right? Well, what are you willing to do about it?

Let's start with a conversation. In lieu of get well flowers, I'm humbly asking you to:

Help this to be the most active comment section of any Neuro Detour post to date.

Any ideas on how we can spread this campaign into our cities and states? The forum is yours, ours now. Let's share our ideas. Let's work collectively. Let's share our successes and failures. Whether you're a full-time sicko individual like me, or a part-time IV dabbler, your ideas and your voices are crucial. They are the first step.

Come on now. Edjumacate me. Please?

Let's (me) set a goal*: 10 comments with 10 comments on those comments.

Meet this goal, and maybe I'll even give you a prize!

*This may be subject to change at any time for any reason by the author, or the author's mind-controlling medications.

Hey Yinz and Non-Yinzers, Just a "Quickie"

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 14:38:00 +0000

Hey Yinz* Guys,

Pittsburgh: as Seen in Tourism Brochures

I'm writing you from Allegheny's county seat: the grave Pittsburgh of gray skies and killer rivers; of old wealth and Welfare; 446 bridges - a sturdy claim of its singularity - flanked by pot-holed streets made grayer with murky rain and snow and coal-stained buildings that reminisce booming days of blue-collar money and the ultra-wealth of steel, as though both - the city's gothic architecture and its Vitamin D-insufficient faces (what few I see from my room, in this non-gimp friendly city of hills and 'hoods) - still mourn, gray tears - will forever mourn - a proudly proletariat industry that would have made its people and neighborhoods the Hollywood of steel.

A GRAY LIFE IN A GRAY HOMETOWN NEAR A BEAUTIFUL PARK THAT'S LEFT AND IT SUCKS: a tangent from the quickie, for those who like it longer and, yes, it's appropriate here, harder
At "home" - a gray IV pole stands on gray basement carpet, and a devastatingly glorious neighborhood view - despite its classification as The City. Backyards with old wood fences, naked trees, preceded by bigger and older naked trees that circuitously lead to any one of its ubiquitous natural parks that changed me, that changed my world.

Once upon a time, Frick Park was my mistress, my paramour, my other half. Always my lifeline, I wouldn't live anywhere that wasn't within walking distance to one of its entrances.

Now, no matter what the season, it's too rich with tiny mountains of stony hills and narrow sloping paths, where I, probably not alone, walked right into daily peace, a heavy-breathed hike that gifted me with revelatory visions of dances completed and personal philosophies blossomed into manifestos. Every inhale and exhale, each person, each animal passing by, an accidental conversation with a stranger, or a friend you've known for years but never knew your shared adoration for the trails and all its live-in animals and bugs and all the people and animals that visited daily or infrequently to get their dose of whatever the Appalachian's remnants gave them.

Unlike me, Frick park was protected by the city's old wealth, which also happened to share its name and closet many unpunished atrocities. I guess that for every death resulted from their whim of the week, they must have planted a tree, the only penance they knew how to live with, and the gray city slowly became a little bit greener.

Being in Pittsburgh, now 4 weeks and counting, for a balanced mix of medical and familial demands, and sitting here in the gray basement ala bedsit with Frick Park less than 2 miles away, is like knowing your High school sweetheart, who you married after college, and you lived in love in a beautiful house in a beautiful city with beautiful friends that you made together, and at 30 he left you just because, or that's what you tell yourself to make it easier to accept.

No matter the reason. It fucking sucks.

Even though Frick Park and the Fricks' endowments actually supported me with commissions and performance fees, and their grounds and homes and galleries are nearby, we are separated, and that's not my choosing. Do you know that feeling? Of something broken that you want to fix, and you have almost all the pieces and almost all the tools, but you're screwed because those missing bits are exactly what you need to fix, to get back what you want, that something that's almost whole, but you're powerless, because you just don't have everything that it takes to get what you want; to have the life that you spent your entire life creating.

When the Neuro Gods struck, they bankrupted me and took my Frick Park.

AND OUT OF THE WOODS: There's a world in disguise, or inside of (me)...
Although I have a backlog of about 5 posts (just counting those here in neuro land) that still need editing**, finished thoughts lost in neuro black holes, and a little TLC before I release them to you, I wanted to send out a quick update about my latest "quickie" and other things 'burghian. As I'm often told, I'm thoughtful like that.

As you are used to, if not expectant of, my vicious honesty and transparency, today was the first day of many days of a brand new component to my neuro detour (which by the way, you probably have figured out, is becoming the longest detour I've ever experienced, or perhaps even in the history of fierce, successful-ish, (dare I) sexy-ish (oh, yes! say it loud and proud with neo-feminism!), multi-talented, multi-tasker (no more, boo hoo), ultra bright (as in my skin glows day and night, and i have a pretty decent IQ), visionary, petite and on the pretty side, half her age looking, frequently carded at age 35 woman with a plan, or actually many plans that she could recite on command(o) on the planet called Earth, where she once resided***).

Step: Preparation; Photo Credit: Me

Today, with cute undies off, supine, legs akimbo, facing my mother's mirrored closet doors, my Pittsburgh nurse, Pam, (it's IVIg week) whipped out the sterile gloves, spread me apart, gave me my latest-in-life anatomy lesson, and taught me how to self-catheterize.

And then, as omnisciently stated in the title above, I kindly thanked her for the quickie, and invited her to join me in the garage for "the after cigarette," of her answer, I shall not comment.

Not only did I just say it - all of it: cath, me, quickie, oh my! - I documented the entire strangely humbling process with step-by-step photos. (Somebody should really pitch in and get me an SLR already, doncha* think?)

By Lesson 2, I'll be doing it single-handed, so to speak. More documentary photographs to come (without which my short-term memory would leave me and my cath kits without a clue), and I'll post all slightly less than NR(neruo rated) on Neuro Detour's Flick'r page, if there's video, on You Tube too.

Why, all of a sudden after almost 2 1/2 years of regular UTIs, bladder infections, and a diagnosed neurogenic (spastic) bladder, have I received this icky (ahhhhh...well, at least some one's touching my vagina) order?

Because the good ol' urethra's stopped tickin' on its own.

So, fellow neuro-ites, I've joined the minions. And for you non neuro-ites, we TM-ers and MS-ers and other neuro-ers, often have a multitude of bladder issues (bowel too, but that's a secret between me and you, ok), of which I can proudly say, I've probably seen, i.e., had, them all now.

AND WE'RE CATHED, I MEAN OVER & OUT
As, we say, her in 'da 'burgh*...

Step: Holy Shit! Ouch, ouch!; Photo Credit: Me

Ciao**,
Melanie of the Self-Catheterizing Minions

PS This is just the "tip" of things...

PPS Happy New Moments Everyone!

PPPS The answers to all your stars below

*Pittsburghese

**Not Pittsburghese. In Pittsburgh, there are no linking verbs. The phrase would be, "needs edited," sort of like our other favorite, the [insert item, e.g., car, clothes, etc.] needs warshed.

***I am not conceited, I mean it. I'm just repeating things I've been told an' 'at*.

Ketamine Cam: 11.19.10, Day 3 of 3

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 18:52:00 +0000

I tried... this time i even used you tube's video record format . ugggh. what is this world coming too?

See yinz in 'da burgh an''at.

Ketamine Cam: 11.17.10

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 02:40:00 +0000

As usual, Ketamine 1 pt. Mel's recording skills 0. This was actually a 9 minute video, so apologies in advance for its utter uselessness, except to let you know that I am both still alive and getting ketamine.

More to come. Lot's more.

Top 5 Benefits of Using Natural Health and Beauty Products | Overstock.com

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 23:14:00 +0000

Check out what capitalism has to offer our tortured bodies:

Nose Up Lifting Shaping Beauty Clip

Top 5 Benefits of Using Natural Health and Beauty Products | Overstock.com

PS Picture added for your own enjoyment.

Where the hell have you been? And other awards.

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 22:13:00 +0000

My inborne Jewish guilt has gotten the best of my slacker-ality (add it to the neuro-ictionary), and whala... here I am, with too much and too little to say.

So, here it is, in the best form ever invented - the list form:

WE WON AN AWARD!!!!!!!

Thank you, thank you to all who nominated Neuro Detour. Wow, what a friggin' honor! Gee, it almost makes me feel lucky to be so effed up that I can write Neuro Detour and win top 35 gimpalicious blogs of 2010. Yippeeeeeee!
Now for the down and dirty....

it's been a shitty ride as of late, but (and there's always that stupid optimistic idealistic but) I've been lucky too to be in the right place with the right people to get the best out of this life that I can.

I did have a recent fall or 2, cracking a rib or 2, but mortal pain is nothing once you've had RSD pain, and I've had quite a bit of that.
Vertigo has taken me way yonder to using the original Vertikal Kris-O-fellow-
TM-er-2nd-time-Hand-Me-Down-WALKER-from-Illinois.
So, special thanks to Verikal Kris for keeping me vertikal [sic]... for the time being.
And dear Judy, thanks for being my partner in RSD and portacath crime. We all need a bosom buddy, or in our case, it's porta-buddy - same diff.
Being sick really fucking sucks.
Losing people you love because you're a sicko really fucking sucks.
Losing yourself because you are a sicko really fucking sucks.
Losing yourself because you are a sicko on really whacked out meds really fucking sucks.

Image by christophe dune via Flickr

Nice Logo... not quite, but close....
Some of the meds, like IV Ketamine, not only make you (me) better, but get you (me) trippin' and hallucinating grand realizations that disappear as quickly as the last 2 years have.
I am now a graduated TM-er, reaching my 2-year anniversary in August, 2 weeks after my 35th birthday.
My Neuro Detour should be over.
My Neuro Detour is just beginning.
I am no longer a TM-er.
I am a TM-MS-Stage 4-RSD-aka-CRPS-er-with lots of ancillary shit diseases like osteoporosis tied in.
I belong to no one, no group, nowhere.
I belong almost everywhere.
I hate that I am not free to go anywhere, even certain restaurants or stores or art galleries because they are not handicap accessible.
I hate sickness, and bigots, and nasty cabbies who charge you before you sit down because you take so long to get in the cab with your walker.
I hate chic-chic and down-scale department stores and boutiques who may be accessible in architecture, but not in service.
I hate insensitive people.
I hate inequity.
I hate being a triple-quad minority.

Image via Wikipedia

I hate that society does not commit itself to the laws of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).
I hate that my life is so expensive, but my income is so controlled.
I hate that I've ruined other peoples' lives, e.g., my mother, with my chronic illness and disability.
I hate bitching and moaning. Mine and others'.
I have started my first real physical rehabilitation, and I LOVE it. I'm only permitted to do aqua therapy at this point, but Aquatic Therapy of Chinatown is giving me something to look forward to 3x/week.
I wish I could walk through life in an 8 sq. ft. pool.
I am practicing transcendental meditation - by prescription
I am exploring the powers of one's mind.
I am starting an international movement (in my head and on a piece of foam core):

Gimp This! (imagine the i in "this" as middle finger.), of dedicated equalists, anti-disability-haters and -prohibitors (silence is as much an act of hate as exclusion, ostracizing, blah, blah, you wronged me, blah.)
In other words, watch out out gimp-haters and ADA-non-compliance-ers, Gimp This will get you, out you, and picket you. Looking forward to ruining your business soon. :)

I am selling more and more of clothes:

Who needs a wardrobe when you're 35 and your job title is patient? (HOWEVER, I do not sport hospital fashion, rather I am neurochic,,,, and you could be too.)

When asked what I do, I no longer say writer or painter (which are both true), or dancer or choreographer (long - gone professions),

I say patient. And that is at least 3 jobs in one.
I am often completely alone.
I am not recovered.
I still have no prognosis.

I can not go a day in public without being asked, "What's wrong with you?"
I can not go a day in public without being stared at by children.
I can not go a day in public without being stared at by people who should be my peers, or perhaps employees.
I love Provigil.
I love all pain meds and pain management procedures.
I am afraid my doctor will retire, and I will have no one behind me.
I avoid people, even virtual people, when I am sad or conflicted.
I gave my birthday away this year, not because I don't want to age but because of what this birthday signified... what should have been the crest of closure.

Please take a copy of my birthday for yourself.

I have made scenes and thrown cups of frozen yogurt in response to injustice.

I have been stupid and assertive against drunken privileged white men harassing a homeless black man.
And when the cops showed their racist spirit, even the black ones, I opened up my mouth again and took badge numbers and said things that could get me arrested.
I am a defender of my rights.
I am a defender of my people.
I am out of control more often than before.
I am tough, and I can be mean if necessary.
I may be a cripple or a glamour gimp, but I'm not gimpified.

Please help me Gimp This here and elsewhere.
Doesn't asking for help suck?
Whole numbers and silence are for pussies.

PS I am not participating in POST (Philadelphia Open Studio Tours) this year. See right column top for more info.

Ketamine Cam Day 2: with spills and special guests

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 22:18:00 +0000

Mois...coming down from ketamine...again.

ALSO, even though yesterday was the official Scatterneuries deadline, I'll extend it until Monday for those of you who are dying to take part in this brand new online game.

This one is boobalicious.

*****

UPDATE
7.16.10

With 2 weeks of plasmapharesis, followed by a nerve block surgery (link warning: video of actual procedure) of my left arm, and 2 days of ketamine boosters, I have not felt this good in a while. My pain is down to a 6, and I'm actually able to enjoy being awake, walking around, and I'm going to paint today for the first time since this last flare-up, which started over 2 months ago.

Unfortunately, my ketamine boosters will be further apart from now on because the drug can cause liver damage (and it's basic scheduling protocol), and if my LFTs are adversely effected, I can not get treatment for 6 months.

Since I've been receiving ketamine, the positive affects (if any) have lasted no longer than 1.5 weeks before they started to dwindle. This last month-long wait was excruciating. I don't know what to expect, or how I will handle, managing my pain with this longer break between infusions.

Normally, follow up boosters at this stage are every 3 months, however, we're going to try for every 2 and hope that my liver can take it. But since the nerve block worked, I'll probably be getting one every 3-4 weeks.

The good news is, the doc, Dr. Goldberg aka Dr. G, is super cool - like hip hipster in scrubs cool, the hospital in Camden, NJ is actually gorgeous (despite its location) and amazingly stylish for such an icky institution, and they have the best hand sanitizer I've ever used.

Ketamine Cam... 1 day post nerve bloock; day 1 of 2 boosters

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 16:48:00 +0000

ALERT! Calling all Humans...who care about their health and others

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 21:35:00 +0000

Hello my sicko and non-sicko friends!

The healthcare update posted below just came to my inbox from Families USA. It provides an opportunity for ALL HUMANS - sickos like me and non-sickos too to state their opinion(s) - no matter how misinformed.

In addition to Families USA, I have a mini-health-update myself: Despite my extraordinary-symptom-of-the-day-semi-blindness, I am struck by the responsibility to share this (also extraordinary sans malaise) opportunity, and type, copy, past, etc. in the metaphorical dark.

Healthcare is NOT just an issue of the sick.
To paraphrase House (famed British comedic actor Hugh Laurie) from the widely top-ten-listed TV show named after its main, ever-so-charming, cantankerous, god-like, hot-to-the-mom-and-grandmom-and-me-demographic doc (pictured right; with whom I feel solidarity ala his own gimpiness and decked out cane, and in the bigger "picture", story-lines by which I identify with as look honey! that's a quantam physics version of me in that myoclonic, neuro-soup, experimental treatment state!):

Whether you're sick or not, we all die.
Nobody dies with dignity, we live with dignity.

HERE & NOW: Sit on your ass. Don't be a lame-ass.
Just a few inches below is your opportunity to make a personal request to the US government as to what kind of dignity you'd like to live with.

Whether you're a rich, selfish f*cker against any healthcare reform; chronic gimp on long-term disability with ever mounting medical bills who wholly supports and pines for the current/forthcoming reforms; or if you're someone waffling somewhere in between and want some tweaking, clarification, or an opportunity to vent...

This may be you're final chance to get on your ass, click whatever links appeal to you, and speak (persuasively) to get what you want for once out of this whacky system. Isn't that worth 5 minutes of your life?

I'M NO DUMMY, BUT I DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH WAR & PEACE EITHER.
You're far from rare, if you're thinking that there are so many intricacies that it's hard to know what's good for me, my family, my friends, the economy, my pocket book, my tax return, my sore bum from sitting in front of the computer too long reading blogs (hopefully THIS blog), etc., etc.

Sing with me: I say, huh?. You say, heh?. We (all) say, what the fu**?. Kum ba yah, Kum ba yah, you cheesy piece of stale granola.
Don't let your ignorance dissuade you. Yours, mine, or our freakin' government's.

Even I - Melanie Miller, full-time patient, part-time activist and healthcare spokesperson, and, if I may toot my own fistula: internationally quoted sicko* in AP (and not so AP) health news article(s) - must claim such ignorance and step down from my post of all-knowing-neurologically-induced-psychicism, say (to myself - and not in a state of neuro- or sepsis-induced delirium) what the hell, I've looked and sounded like a dumbass before, and state my concerns with earnest, spell- and grammar-checked, concise devotion.
*(to be enlightened, proud, or quell your curiosity and boost my ego, click on prev. link to go straight to article, or browse back posts to see: 6.12.10 post, Melanie Quoted in Assoc. Press (AP) Article on Healthcare!)

Dance with me, won't you dance with me?
I'd love for you to join me on the virtual political interface that enables anyone with access to the Internet to express themselves. If you post your status on Facebook, you might as well post it somewhere that will make a difference.

And I will join you too, even though the mightiest spell-checking tool will do me no good for at least today, since I'll either forget to do it, or the all-encompassing vision impairment that is a common and disabling side effect of many neuro disorders may require a respite from saving the world from itself.

AUTHOR'S SIDEBAR...WITH RULER IN HAND
Awwwww, don't yinz, y'all, yous guys feel bad for me and my homies? You better not! We HATE pity.

But we do welcome subtle compassion, offers for trips to the grocery store and/or apartment cleaning, temperature-modulated outings, and boyfriends that don't run when our face blows up like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

FINALLY, THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR....

SUBJECT: Opportunities to Shape Federal Decision-Making

Dear [INSERT YOUR NAME HERE],

Last week’s July 1 implementation milestone brought many opportunities for state advocates to help shape the new law. We are fortunate to be working with an Administration that continues to solicit input and feedback. Here’s a rundown of some recent requests for public comment. If you haven’t already, please provide your suggestions to help optimize the new law for consumers.

The Departments of Health and Human Services, Labor, and Treasury released several regulations to implement a new Patients’ Bill of Rights under the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. The regulations will prohibit discrimination based on pre-existing conditions for children; ban lifetime limits on coverage, as well as place restrictions on annual limits; forbid unfair rescissions of coverage; restrict cost-sharing for emergency services; and put into place many other patient protections.

Comments are due by August 27, 2010 and the rules go into effect September 23, 2010. You can either comment directly to HHS or share your comments and concerns with Families USA by emailing us at stateinfo@familiesusa.org.

And, if you have not already commented on previously released regulations, you still have time! The interim final rules on dependent coverage and grandfathered plans are still open for comment until August 11 and August 16, respectively. Information on all the rules can be found here. Families USA has compiled our comments on dependent coverage, and we’ll be posting our comments on other regulations to our website as we complete them.

On July 1, the Administration also launched the web portal, www.healthcare.gov, to help consumers navigate their coverage options and understand their rights under the new law. As you navigate the site, you’ll see many yellow comment boxes to submit your suggestions. While healthcare.gov is already a tremendous clearinghouse for information, please provide any insights you might have to make the site even stronger. Families USA is also compiling comments on the web portal for the Administration. Please send us your thoughts at stateinfo@familiesusa.org.

To stay up-to-the-minute on health reform implementation, please also sign up for email updates at www.hhs.gov and www.healthcare.gov Thanks, as always, for your continued hard work. We’re glad to be working hand-in-hand with you to make the most of the new law!

Best,

Jessica Larochelle
Field Director
Families USA

--------
Families USA | 1201 New York Ave., NW, Suite 1100, Washington, DC 20005
www.familiesusa.org | info@familiesusa.org

LET'S SHARE

To those that are getting on their asses to get off their asses, I extend my gratitude. For everyone else, maybe you can garner some appreciation next go. Regardless, feel free to POST copies of your messages as a comment, or copies of your brain waves that induced your inactivity.

MS NEWS: MS Drug's Epic Journey From Folklore to Lab

neurodetour@gmail.com (Melanie Miller) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:30:00 +0000

AUTHOR'S EPITAPHIGRAM:
You can read my ramblings and get a giggle or 27, or you can be a lame ass and just click on the post title above to read the entire article. Also, if your vision sucks like mine or you're a lazy m.f. and you just want to look at the interactive graphic timeline, which, like THIS BLOG POST, you can share the love on Facebook, Twitter, and many of your social networking sites.
But be warned, if you take this route, I'll hunt you down and find a way to make all those stupid people that think neurological disorders are contagious correct.
So, carry on. And enjoy!

******************************************

According to an article by Peter Landers in The Wall Street Journal,

" research into ancient Chinese fungus that propagates inside insects yields potential relief for multiple sclerosis."

GIVE ME MY BUG GUTS!
Many of us may already be gimps (aka raspberry ripples - love this newly "learnt" British Slang - so tasty!) , we may be comprised of plasma and proteins of 10s of 1000s of strangers, and soon, we may be bug guts too.

As a professional TM/MS/RSD-er, I be well-school [sic(k)] in the cross- over of side effects, disabilities, and treatments.

For example, the IVIg that I've been receiving regularly (up to to 5 days every other week) to treat, originally, my Transverse Myelitis (T M), also is used to treat many Multiple Sclerosis (MS) patients, AND NOW has been found to provide relief to Chronic Regional Pain (CRPS aka RSD) patients. Even though IVIg's become holy grail of fixed trifectas, many insurance companies, including the profanely corrupt AETNA and some Blue Cross/Blue Shield's (to name just two super-sized crooked crook companies), REFUSE to PROVIDE COVERAGE for this pertinent treatment, even when there are no other options.

I've witnessed it too - all of it.

After receiving IVIg for the first time, a dear friend with Stage 4 RSD who has gone through 2 Ketamine Comas (I receive an Americanized watered-down autocratic FDA-version of this treatment) in Germany only to receive short-term remissions, gained an 80% relief in pain, and in RSD percentages that's like erasing 10 natural child-births from your body at once. And of course, her BC/BS refuses to cover home infusion of IVIg, so she must travel 2 hours to receive it in-patient - totally unnecessary and totally fiscally irresponsible and wasteful.

Surprise, surprise.

If all entrepreneurs thought like insurance companies, we'd live in an ugly, ugly world my friends.

OK, back to the bug.

NATURAL HEALING
The article validates much of what Chinese medicine and Complimentary Alternative Medicine (CAM) has to offer:

For centuries Chinese medicine has seen restorative properties in an Asian fungus that invades and destroys insects. Now a drug drawing on that age-old lore is poised to become an important new treatment for multiple sclerosis.

A Food and Drug Administration panel unanimously recommended this month that the drug called fingolimod be approved as the first oral medicine for MS, an often-debilitating disease in which the body's own immune system attacks a fatty substance protecting nerve fibers. The drug, assuming it gets final FDA approval, would significantly expand the treatment options for the hundreds of thousands of Americans with MS.

Nature was the first source of medicines to treat human disease and remains an important one. The Japanese scientists who discovered fingolimod added their names to a list that goes back to the European chemists who derived aspirin from a substance in willow bark and Alexander Fleming, who found that a fungus produced a bacteria-killing substance called penicillin.

TIME TRAVEL
We'll probably have to go to Canada or Mexico to get access to this crunchy, winged medical miracle in our lifetime (OK, I may be exaggerating a big...how 'bout in the next decade), but it may be worth the trip. And boy, do I need a vacation. Mexico would be perfect if heat weren't so debilitating for us MS/TMers. Quebec would be gorgeous too, but not in the winter for us RSD-ers. So plan your trips accordingly, my friends.

Or maybe we could just accidentally find it dipped in chocolate and wrapped in plastic wrap on a styrofoam plate at our local Asian grocery???

Either way, let's get buggy...

(of course, I'd have to try to find an appropriate personifying video...this one's a stretch, but it was this or something that would be rascist coming from a white, jew, atheist, socialist/capitalist, rasperberry ripple. PS they use the F-word once and with perfect timing and pitch.)

Neuro Detour Presents:

Buggy Saints Row: The Musical

Neuro Detour

Police target people with Disabilities. The Supreme Court Leaves the Americans with Disabilities Act Intact | American Civil Liberties Union http://ift.tt/1c4wumC

Mindfulness Therapy May Help Ease Recurrent Depression: MedlinePlus

Get into My World! Get Off My Blog [Hater]!

What Helped You Most After Your _______ Diagnosis?

Worst Gifts for People with Multiple Sclerosis - Gifts Not to Give People with MS | Diigo

NEWS: Nominate Someone For A Whacky Wego Health Activist Award

Gimp This! intl. & Neuro Detour Links & Neurostorming 05/28/2012

Gimp This! intl. & Neuro Detour Links & Neurostorming 05/27/2012

The unfinished thought. The unpublished posts. Speaking and Listening. Is it really 50/50 in brains with neurological disorders?

any flat chested first timers noticing a growth in chest size ...

Related articles

THE BRAIN & NERVOUS SYSTEM: Neurology, Neurosciene, Brain Regions, & Disorders

FLAT EARTH:)

HUMOR: Funny & Bizarre Brain Stuff

LANGUAGE: SPEECH & SPEECH THERAPY

SINGLE, SEXY, & GIMPALICIOUS SERIES: The Poetics of Dating: Gimp Style.

THIRD

Related articles and Web sites

"Yoga Helps Stroke Victims"... so shouldn't it help all of us gimps too?

Neuroism of the 4th

2 Gimps With 1 Stone: 1) Mel - Art Opening (tomorrow). 2) Seeking Strong Bodies - Dis-InEquality Live Art (tomorrow).

1. On Losing - voice, rhythm, the word I want to place here; 2. Quote of the Moment... 2 versions.

Back to the ho'po'

IVIg Activism: An AWESOME IVIg Campagin Video & YOUR TURN to Speak Out

Hey Yinz and Non-Yinzers, Just a "Quickie"

Ketamine Cam: 11.19.10, Day 3 of 3

Ketamine Cam: 11.17.10

Top 5 Benefits of Using Natural Health and Beauty Products | Overstock.com

Where the hell have you been? And other awards.

Ketamine Cam Day 2: with spills and special guests

Ketamine Cam... 1 day post nerve bloock; day 1 of 2 boosters

ALERT! Calling all Humans...who care about their health and others

MS NEWS: MS Drug's Epic Journey From Folklore to Lab

Buggy Saints Row: The Musical