your monkey called

"My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don’t."

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:02:00 -0800

“My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don’t.”

- Craig Ferguson, in the preface to his new book American On Purpose. I’m listening to the audiobook; Ferguson’s Scottish accent adds poignance—and subtracts arrogance—from this sentence.

In case you need to run from the airport to my new house,...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:56:15 -0800

In case you need to run from the airport to my new house, here’s the route.

It’s 3 miles. Should take you about half an hour if you’re in decent shape or being chased by TSA dogs.

Eric Testroete : “Papercraft Self Portrait -...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:50:37 -0800

Eric Testroete : “Papercraft Self Portrait - 2009”

(via Josh Spear)

The xx: “Islands,” Live at BBC Radio 1 Every time I...

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 10:15:00 -0700

The xx: “Islands,” Live at BBC Radio 1

Every time I listen to this album I love it more. I marvel at how they’re able to create such a rich sound from such sparse instrumentation.

Three more things:

The plunky bass break at 0:11? You better believe that’s a songpart.
Cute girl on the right only gets cuter when you put giant headphones on her. There’s a Radiolab episode in there somewhere.
Watching that guy play drum pads live, I can so easily see him as a kid—not allowed to play the drum kit he so desperately wants—quietly practicing the shit out of a Boss DR-660 in his tiny bedroom.

Wow, one more thing I just learned from Wikipedia:

They produced this album themselves.

And one last thing because my penis always has to have the last word:

Lead singer girl makes underbites sexy.

Sexy Executives alerts you to “severe staff anomalies at...

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:25:00 -0700

Sexy Executives alerts you to “severe staff anomalies at Northrop Grumman,” featuring issues such as NEEDS NEW FRAMES, SKIN TOO TIGHT, and the one pictured above, TOO MUCH FACE FOR HER HEAD.

(via Recovering Lazyholic)

“Accenture: We’re like golfing or something”...

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 23:09:00 -0700

“Accenture: We’re like golfing or something” by Neven

“Welcome to the Millennium Hilton, sir. We’ve got...

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:11:28 -0700

“Welcome to the Millennium Hilton, sir. We’ve got you booked for two nights, in a room with a king-sized bed, non-smoking OK? Great. Your view is an eye-scalding reminder of the horror inflicted upon thousands of innocent lives, inescapably visible day and night, the persistent groan of the cranes a kind of mechanized lament. And there’s a continental breakfast. Enjoy!”

I Love Her Name, I Do

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 15:35:00 -0700

This winter, the BBC brings you a gripping new crime drama…AMANPOUR

A fragrance. A dream. Remembered. Forgotten. Ralph Lauren presents…AMANPOUR

In a world where no man is equal until he has proven himself in a sweaty tropical locale, one man rises above the others. Leonardo DiCaprio stars in Baz Luhrmann’s…AMANPOUR

Crème fraîche over strawberries makes the most delicious…AMANPOUR

Book Titles, If They Were Written Today

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:41:00 -0700

Then: The Wealth of Nations
Now: Invisible Hands: The Mysterious Market Forces That Control Our Lives and How to Profit from Them

Then: Walden
Now: Camping with Myself: Two Years in American Tuscany

Then: The Theory of the Leisure Class
Now: Buying Out Loud: The Unbelievable Truth About What We Consume and What It Says About Us

Then: The Gospel of Matthew
Now: 40 Days and a Mule: How One Man Quit His Job and Became the Boss

Then: The Prince
Now: The Prince (Foreword by Oprah Winfrey)

1980’s Movie Posters from Ghana There are more....

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:38:53 -0700

1980’s Movie Posters from Ghana

There are more. They’re awesome.

(via Lazyholic)

Going Pear-shaped

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:10:19 -0700

One of my favorite Britishisms, probably coined in the 80’s. OED defines it:

colloq. (chiefly Brit., orig. R.A.F. slang). to go ( also turn) pear-shaped: to go (badly) wrong, to go awry.

The origin of the term is the subject of some debate; Wikipedia lists six possible explanations, none of them particularly convincing.

Richard Pryor, Kraft Music Hall special, 1964 “My...

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 12:30:00 -0700

Richard Pryor, Kraft Music Hall special, 1964

“My mother’s Puerto Rican, and my father’s Negro, and we live in a real big Jewish tenement building. In an Italian neighborhood. Every time I go outside the kids say ‘Get ‘im, he’s all of ‘em!’”

Also recommended: watch all the way through with the volume muted. His body moves like nobody else.

Kitty Figures It Out Sal Romano’s wife Kitty, played by...

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 23:13:00 -0700

Kitty Figures It Out

Sal Romano’s wife Kitty, played by Sarah Drew, stole the show for me on last night’s episode of Mad Men.

Kitty watches from bed as Sal describes the dance routine he’s laid out for the next day’s commercial shoot. After each of Sal’s Ann-Margret-inspired sashays, the camera cuts back to Kitty’s face. We see her realize, with each successive shot, why their love life is so lackluster.

Even as she cheers his performance, we all know, without her saying a word, that they’re doomed.

Actual “Buddy Holly” Lyrics Revealed Via my son who,...

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:17:00 -0700

Actual “Buddy Holly” Lyrics Revealed

Via my son who, thanks to Rock Band, is a big fan of the Weezer song:

Oh we oh
we are just a bully holly
oh oh was you never tied a once
I don’t care
what the seer was an Italy
I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT
I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT

UPDATE: Our pal Biorhythmist has “Enhanced™ the audio track, fed it into Voice Over and it found the fifth line to be ‘what brassieres see the Wii.’”

Like Civilized People

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 20:32:00 -0700

Driving home from work yesterday, I changed lanes more abruptly than the guy behind me would have liked. He pulled up next to me at the stoplight; I rolled down my window.

“Your turn signal not working?” he called over.

“It’s fine. I used it when I changed lanes back there.”

“Oh, you did? I must not have seen it. My mistake.”

“I did change lanes pretty abruptly though. I apologize.”

We nodded to each other. The light changed. We drove away, having resolved the problem like civilized people.

I still want to fucking kill that guy.