回忆的夏天 It's summer

生日。日子。

2011-12-07T22:24:00.001+08:00

查看行事历的时候才发现下个星期二是你的生日。其实我是知道日期的，只是没有想到这个日子会这样静悄悄地在我的行事历上爬行。该送什么好呢？送礼物是一件棘手的事情。说来说去我还是觉得承认我没有选礼物的天份是最好的理由。喝了一杯果汁，还是想不起去年到底送你什么礼物。算了，如果今年的礼物重复的话，就当作是我是有规律的人。

如果有人问我去年收到什么礼物，我给的答案一定包括巧克力。不知为什么，每年的生日总会收到巧克力，所以收到礼物时实在是没有惊喜可言。哦，对了，我才想起去年的生日没有收到任何礼物。因为那时我才在伦敦落脚不久。忘了那天是怎样度过的，好像是上网将facebook的所有祝福一一回完。有些好久不见的朋友会在生日快乐后面多加一句take care in London，在我的心中形成小小的涟漪。至少他们知道我不在马来西亚了。

原谅我是没有创意的人。我漫无目的地在网站之间穿梭，然后视线停在一间网络时装店。心里挺喜欢那件灰色的毛衣，穿在你身上的话感觉应该还不错。查了价钱，觉得挺合理的，于是就用信用卡将它买下寄去你家。礼物解决了。可是心里又觉得好像少了什么。只送一件毛衣未免不够诚意。所以将抽屉翻箱倒柜，找出一张去年买的生日卡，用陌生的中文字写了一段我认为感人肺腑的生日寄语。还有问你关于我们的旅行计划，虽然我还是比较喜欢一个人旅行。

你生日那天应该是我回到马来西亚的第四天。如果将马来西亚的时间也算进去的话，你有31个小时来庆祝你的生日。

收拾了房间。扔掉了堆积已久的文件。本来打算将法律系的笔记一概扔掉，后来对于成绩有所顾虑，所以还是将它们打包起来，带回马来西亚。

吃完晚餐后用手机和Z聊天。因为手机的通话余额还剩很多，不用的话就是一种奢侈的挥霍。Z责备我把回马的机票订得太早，不然的话，我就可以陪他们去意大利游玩了。我无言以对。其实我是想等我学好意大利语才去那里游玩，可是学习的进度并不是很好。只怪我总是屈服在怠慢的王位下。

伦敦的夏天是怎样的？可惜我无法感受啊。

1.6.2011

没有上课的那天

2011-11-11T21:30:00.001+08:00

今年的秋天特别的冷。对于被狂风扫落的一地落叶，我并没有一丝哀悼的感觉。记得去年刚到伦敦的时候，我是多么放肆地去追随秋天的风。那时候的赞叹，怎么变成了现在的哀叹。我始终还是败给了忙碌的生活。

上个月，艳阳明明还在咆哮；只不过是撕了14页的日历，加上缠绵的秋雨，维多利亚公园的绿被染成寂寞的红。我想，再过两个星期，这片红海就会慢慢凋零。

刚刚整理了电子邮件箱。阅读了5年前的邮件。我莞尔。当年的我的英文超烂的，文法简直是错到离谱。谁也不曾预料到今天的我会在伦敦进修法律系。我想，当年在国家银行面试的时候如果我没有做了出国深造的那个决定，今天我或许还是一个见识不广，英文超烂的21岁小伙子。

缅怀过去是好的。但是终日缅怀是伤身的，因为生活还是要过。若是好好活在现在，至少当未来来临的时候我们没有惋惜的借口。

窗外的冷风还在吹袭着，我在房间里被一阵冷意惊动。没办法，房间太大，人太少。我穿上一间毛衣，等待这个城市入夜入冬。

朋友在面子书上写‘已经不能挥霍忧伤，要节俭一点，等写歌词的时候再拿出来用’。写歌词。写诗。这些好像是远古时代的事。我对写作的热忱在我抵达伦敦的那一天已经死了一半。生活太新鲜，生活太忙碌，生活太枯燥。这些值得纪念的，我都忘了记录下来。就算有记录的话，我也不过是草草了事地用英文在面子书上公告天下。

N年前的网友最近造访我的部落格，留下了他的新网址。我登门造访。庆幸的是他和她和他们和她们的热忱还在。而且听说他11月打算出第二本诗集，趁马来西亚的雨季刚刚滋长的时候。也听说小白明年打算出版第一本创作集，所以最近积极地做着出版的功课。真怀念5年前的美好时光。那时候的懵懂和勇敢是青春的印记。我好像把自己老化了。没关系，希望我这样写着写着，至少明年可以再出一本书。

有时候，让书迷等待太久也不是一件光彩的事情。当我执起笔开始写作的时候，我已明白，写作是一辈子的事情。对了，记得好像并不是每个人都喜欢我的写作方式。But nevermind，日子照样过。

9.11.2011

最幸福的事

2011-11-09T18:46:00.003+08:00

那是一个封建的时代。谈恋爱是一件奢侈的事。结婚这桩大事，我的婆婆和公公都没有选择的余地。婆婆在媒人的穿针引线下，远赴南洋，嫁给了一个素未谋面的男人-我的公公。他俩在见面三天后就结婚了。由于当时公公手头上的现金不足，于是婆婆就当掉了她仅有的金饰，就是为了让他俩顺利注册成为合法夫妻。没有婚礼，没有华丽衣裳，更没有多余的装扮。

结婚后，他俩的日子并没有马上好转。随着孩子一个接一个地呱呱坠地，两人所负的担子也日益增加了。公公除了在学校教书以外，每天清晨还要陪婆婆去橡胶园割树胶。为了维持生计，婆婆甚至接下了养猪和种菜的粗活。两人含辛茹苦了半辈子，无非事为了撑起一个充满幸福的家。

喝了一口由婆婆炖的鸡汤，我问婆婆一个问题。

“阿嬷，你喜欢公公的那一点？”

“让我想一想。嗯，我年轻的时候应该是喜欢他的健朗，因为身体强壮的他不必让我为他常常操心，而且他可以常常帮我干活。”婆婆一边盛鸡汤给公公，一边说。

我的记忆齿轮转辗到小时候。那时，我们住在建东路的木屋。每个星期五晚上，婆婆会预先将黄豆浸在水中。隔天早上，公公就会用石磨将泡透的黄豆磨碎。我总是喜欢站在公公的身旁，看他磨豆。转动石磨这个看似简单的动作，其实并不容易。小小的我使劲了吃奶的力气，还是无法转动石磨。相反地，七十多岁的公公用他长满厚茧的大手，就轻易地完成了这份吃力的工作。细碎的豆渣缓缓地流进婆婆缝纫的布袋，一点一滴，仿佛将公公和婆婆的爱心仔细地收藏。过后，婆婆会加入热水去渣，再放入几片的斑兰叶，用小火慢慢地将豆浆煮沸。炎热的下午，喝一口清香可口的热豆浆，心里是暖暖的；因为公公和婆婆已经将他们的爱融进豆浆里。

“那么，你们曾吵过架吗？”我用半生不熟的福州话小心翼翼地问。

“有啊。他有时候固执任性，心情不好就发脾气。我每次和他吵了几句就选择退让，因为再吵下去只会伤害夫妻的感情。而且结婚时我曾承诺做个贤妻良母，所以就不去计较那么多了。”婆婆淡然地注视着正在进食的公公。

婆婆的确是典型的贤妻良母，她不仅对家公家婆必恭必敬，对丈夫千依百顺，对子孙们更是百般疼爱。

“快乐的事，应该也很多吧？”

“就是和他一起去北京，福州及台湾旅游。我们还一起爬上长城呢！”婆婆自豪地说。

“最幸福的事呢？”

“就是和他慢慢变老，看着我们的子孙满堂，个个健康地成长，成为国家社会的栋梁。”

想到两个性格天壤之别的人，因为媒人牵起的缘分而‘执子之手，白头偕老’了半个世纪，我不禁微笑了。

开始习惯

2011-11-08T22:30:00.001+08:00

早上太早醒来，也许是时差错乱的关系。冲泡了一杯马来西亚带来的麦片，早餐就这样解决。梳洗后，我拿着校园的地图，尝试让自己熟悉每一条小路，每一栋建筑物。出国求学基本上是让一切从零开始，很多琐事都需要自己一个人去扛。洗衣煮饭缴房租搭地铁开银行户口买日常用品收拾房间。突然觉得自己一夜长大了许多。

迎新日基本上是非常无趣的。除了听一些无关痛痒的讲座，我也认识了几位以后甚少有交集的新朋友。或许是害怕寂寞的关系，所以每个人在开学的第一个星期很有默契地努力建立新的友谊。我和一些人交换了电话号码，只是一年后我发现我不曾拨过电话给他们，更别谈发送一封简讯。几个知心的朋友倒是在相处了几个月过后才交的。

摆脱迎新日的枷锁后，我独自到校园外面探索。一路上我小心翼翼地走着，深怕一个不小心就迷失了房间。伦敦东部是许多二战移民后裔的家园。大约75％的居民是英国出生的巴基斯坦人，巴勒斯坦人，年轻的一代口操标准的道地英文，但是老一辈的英文程度并不高，说英文的时候含糊不清，让我沟通得非常吃力。走在伦敦东部，你会怀疑你是否身在亚洲。特别在Whitechapel和Bethnal Green，道路的两边全是市集，就像马来西亚茨厂街一样。每天早上八点开始，小贩们就会努力地叫卖。第一次经过市集的时候，我被一个小贩拦下，他开口说了几句阿拉伯文（抑或是巴基斯坦文）后，我很有礼貌地告诉他我只听得懂英文。伶俐的小贩很顺口的改成英文brother来brother去地尝试说服我买他手中的产品。尽管他费了三寸不烂之舌，我最终还是没有掏出腰包购买他的产品。

在英国被误认成非华人已不是新鲜的事，因为在马来西亚求学的时候我早已被误认成友族同胞。于是，我就将错就错地告诉告诉人家我不是华人，而是马来西亚人。话说回来，这样的错误其实是美丽的，因为我抛下了种族的包袱，以马来西亚人的身份在这个陌生的国度生活。所以接下来的日子，当别人问我是什么人的时候，我的标准答案一定是马来西亚人，没有刻意去强调我是马来西亚的华人。我的愚见也许你不认同，但是我始终坚持着这样的信念－抛下种族的优越感是让马来西亚团结的第一步。

走到Sainsbury超级市场，看着琳琅满目的货品，再查看价钱，然后大脑很自然地用马币的兑换率将价钱乘五倍。好贵。逛了半个小时，结果连一样东西都没买。最后我狠下心，催眠自己尽量不要以马币来衡量一个货品的价值，结帐时才比较安心。可是后来，我还是有意无意地将属于马币的那把尺拿出来使用。唯一的好处是我省下了一笔钱，不象其他的朋友挥霍英镑在物质的享受上。

天气微凉。我突然很想念马来西亚的阳光。

19.9.2010

我是大学生

2011-08-13T22:16:00.001+08:00

时间永远比我们跑得快。领取签证及整理行李后，我便身在在前往机场的路上。妈妈非常敷衍地和德士司机聊天，而我努力地挥霍手机的余额。在机场与学长不期而遇，寒暄了一番，用一杯咖啡的时间等待登机。

给了妈妈一个拥抱后，我便和学长走进了机舱。飞机离开地面的时候，我的心是平静的。看着熟悉的城市逐渐变小，我发现我的梦想太大，而世界太小。十三个小时的飞行是疲倦的。长途飞行让我看完四部电影，小睡一会儿，吃三顿餐，上了七次厕所。

抵达伦敦的时候已经是下午四点。过了海关，入了境，疲惫的心开始兴奋起来。一个人拖着行李在机场绕了几圈才找到了大学的迎新团队。点了名后便找个角落坐下，等待其他的国际学生抵达。播了一通电话回马来西亚，心想父母肯定彻夜守在电话旁，无法安心入眠。报了平安，听到妈妈熟悉的声音，虽然隔了一个海洋，还是充满温暖。

在等待巴士的同时，我用简单的英语和其他新生侃侃而谈。有些人紧张，有些人期待，有些人感伤。我说不出我内心的感觉。是忐忑吗？是欢喜吗？是沮丧吗？我不知道。出国留学是我少年时期的愿望，可是当这一天临到的时候，我却对国土念念不舍。人是矛盾的动物，两种相反的心情总是不经意地对峙。

走出机场的那一刻，迎面而来的冷风并没有想象中的刺骨。也许，那些关于英国秋季气候的形容被夸张了，道听途说总是不好的。坐在巴士里，我的脑海不断地拼奏未来三年的大学生活。突然就想起戴佩妮的《1999》，然后自我陶醉般地称赞自己的勇敢。

巴士在伦敦的街道穿梭。我们拿着相机，拼命对着窗外的夜景按下闪光灯。有点白痴，巴士司机应该是这样想的。抵达大学的时候，学长学姐脸上挂着疲惫的笑容迎接我们。其实他们的疲惫我想我是了解的。连续两天不眠不休地接待新生，最后剩下的或许只是强颜欢笑。在报道处领取钥匙后，我在一位学姐的协助的下，将一堆的行李搬进宿舍的房间。

我住在一间六人单位的公寓。六个人共同使用一间厨房，两间浴室。接下来的九个月，我将要和五个陌生人同住。我们之间会擦出什么火花，还真是值得拭目以待的事。

整理好行李好后，住在对面公寓的邻居过来邀请我去他们的公寓小酌两杯，由于我的戒心还很高，加上身心非常疲惫，于是便婉转地拒绝了他们的好意。或许那天晚上不应该拒绝他们的邀请，因为后来我们的关系只有点头般的交集。

一个选择，决定你未来走怎样的路。

17.9.2010

to prove that this blog is still alive

2010-12-12T00:06:00.002+08:00

First of all, my apology for not updating this blog in the past 3 months. Put the blame to my busy(-iest) life in the UK(or to be more precise, London). London is treating me well in general expect the super annoying autumn and winter coldness.

We got a problem now - so many events happened in the past three months and I don't know where to start. Hmm, I supposed you wouldn't want to know how I arrived in London and etc. So I will begin with the first week of school(or uni, whichever you like).

The accommodation is beyond my expectation. I am residing at Ifor Evans Place, one of the oldest buildings in the campus but it was refurbished last year and everything seems new. My hall is not located within the student village so I am basically isolated from the rest of the student population. But fear not, I have enough socialisation with the lovely people in my hall. I am living in flat 9 with other 5 guys - one from New Castle, one from SOUTH London(I have to emphasise the 'SOUTH' because London is too big and the uni decided to let him stay on campus), two from Nigeria and one from Iran.

A few interesting things about my flat and its occupants:
1. It has the biggest kitchen among others
2. The first Nigerian is a third year student so we rarely see him in the flat(We assume that he spends most of his third year in the library)
3. The NC guy has red hair and it is natural
4. I failed in understanding the Iranian's English for so many times because his ascent is just so strange
5. The second Nigerian guy is rather annoying and I secretly dislike him to the MAX
6. The Londoner is giving the kitchen a mess all the time
7. My room is at the top floor and the kitchen is at the ground floor and there is no lift. What a pity to climbing up and down the staircases just to get a glass of water
8. Unlike other flats, we don't have flat party(at least to date). Because we're all quiet people(except the 2nd Nigerian!)

Living with 5 guys is not really a nightmare. What you can expect from them is stealing your food(eggs, bread, ice-cream, cooking OIL, mushrooms, cookies......and the list goes on), not flushing the toilet after using it, playing loud and weird music(the Room C Nigerian guy) and not cleaning up the dishes. These are absolutely normal, ask your dad and he will tell you how he endure this kind of hardship when he was young(provided he is living with guys throughout his uni life). What we learnt from primary school is indeed applicable. Remember the saying 'prevention is better than cure'? So I prevent the theft from happening by storing most of my food and cutlery in my own room now. Honestly, I don't mind the extra weight that I have to carry upstair each time after cooking. It is better to stay clean instead of getting food poisoning by sharing the unwashed cutlery. I was exaggerating. I know.

Cooking. Yes. Learning how to cook before coming to the UK is essential. Thanks God my parents forced me to learn some cooking skills in the 3 months after my A-level or else I will be starved to death. I spend roughly £15 on groceries every week. This explains why I have lots of £ for concert and weekend trips. Cooking is fun yet exhausting, especially when you're cooking for just one person - yourself. I haven't had the time to learn some British cooking yet but I will most probably get that done during the winter break. In the beginning, I cook horrible food because I don't know how to use the electrical stove. But things get better when I practiced more. I wouldn't brag my food as mouthwatering but they're definitely edible.

Guess that's all from me. Have to prepare for my mid-sessional exam. More updates are coming soon(after my exam).

xx
Xiawei

tourism

2010-08-25T21:30:00.002+08:00

Picture by CNN

I was shocked by the tragedy happened in Philippines. 8 hostages from Hong Kong were killed by the gunman due to the incompetence of Philippines's police officers. When I watched the video on CNN, I was surprise to find out that there are so many police officers and yet they took one hour to rescue the hostages. How awful is that? 8 innocent lives were sacrificed because of the delay in rescue operation. The government of Hong Kong later on issued a severe warning to its citizens - NOT TO VISIT PHILIPPINES.

The reason is simple. Tourism is never comfortable with social and political conditions that are unstable. Most of the tourists will consider the social and political conditions of the destination before departing. If they perceive social or political condition of their destination as unfavourable, they might decide not to spend holiday in that location or simply shorten their stay. I believe that even the Hong Kong tourists will put a halt to their holiday in Philippines without needing a warning for their government.

Philippines is going to have a hard time now. Hong Kong tourists are one of the main contributors of the GDP generated by tourism sector in Philippines. Of course, Philippines can survive without the inflow of HK tourists but it has to be prepared to a drastic fall on its tourism GDP.

good enough

2010-08-23T11:58:00.000+08:00

So the results for both CIE and Edexcel are announced. To be frank, I wasn't so pleased with my grades. I am aiming to reach the * but probably I wasn't clever enough, I was given a full set of results without the *.

Later on, I was chatting with a good friend of mine(you know who you're). He passed the exams with a decent result which is good enough to further his study oversea. He reminded me that many people obtained * for a few other subjects but fail to do so for a particular subject. In the end, they couldn't meet the grades asked by their universities and the dreams to enter their firm universities are shattered. Well, he is right after all. I should be thankful for meeting the minimum requirement set by QM.

Life isn't about getting the best results, it's about how you arrive at your final destination. =)

Anyway, I spent 3 days in Kluang, Johor. This is the place where I spend my year-end-school-holiday. Although the visit is rather short but I truly enjoyed the times I spent with my grandparents. I'm glad to see that my grandfather's health is getting better. The medication is working on him. I was overfed during my stay at my grandparents' house. Well, what do you expect from a caring grandparents? Lots of FOOD. haha.

grandparents, aunty and me.

Currently, I am busy settling my Visa Application. The whole application annoyed me so much because it's simply unclear when we come to filling up the application form. Trust me, A-level is easier than visa application. I am not making a fuss but this visa thingy is quite complicated. =(

Till here. I will write a new post soon when I am free.

hero

2010-07-30T17:10:00.000+08:00

当每一个人都需要一个属于自己的hero。

the time traveler's wife

2010-07-16T13:15:00.002+08:00

I bought this book ages ago but I never read it in KTJ. It is simply because you found it hard to spare some times for reading in KTJ. One of the many reasons I bought this book is due to the positive reviews I read on the newspaper about this book.

So I finally have time to sit down(or lie on my bed) and start reading 'The Time Traveler's Wife'. To be honest, the beginning of the story is rather boring and all messed up. I remember I was complaining about this book to Shareen and she asked me to read it patiently as the story will get more interesting as I read on.

In my humblest opinion, the story started to hook me when Clare finally reached 20 and bump into Henry(who is 28 at that time) at the Newberry Library. I was lost in time while reading this book because Henry is constantly travelling through time. And phew, actually everything is already predestined in the very beginning when Clare met Henry at her six years old. Henry died in his 43 but as Clare moves on in her life, Henry appears occasionally(he is travelling from the past to the future). Forgive me if you couldn't understand what I am writing about because I am really bad with tenses(and explaining).

To cut it short, it is a book that will make you cry your tears out. The love between Clare and Henry is intense and ultimate. Their love surpasses time and space. One of my favourite quotes from the book is: "It’s dark now and I am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing." Henry said this to Clare on the bed after doing his time traveling(well, they're making out).

I watched the movie just now(yes, I know I am outdated as this movie was released one year ago). The movie is nice but I am quite disappointed because it cut off so many scenes that I thought worth showing in the movie.

Being sentimental as I have always been, I cried after finishing the last chapter of the book and immerse myself in the mix feeling of sadness and joy. Well, I guess this post just prompted me to write something about KTJ. After leaving KTJ for 2 week, I'm still dwelling in the sweet and bitter memories I had in KTJ.

67 more days and I'll be leaving my home for a far far land.

when you miss those days in KTJ

2010-07-09T09:24:00.000+08:00

you'll watch this video and let your tears flow.

Redang

2010-07-02T09:13:00.001+08:00

The trip was fun. I didn't expect to stay at a resort which was used for the filming of one of my favourite summer cantonese movie(More More Tea Inn). We got a cheap deal because one of my L6 junior's father is the major shareholder of the resort.

I went to Redang Island with a tiring heart, hoping that this trip could help me to distress a bit. I enjoy the company of the trip - Samantha, Sheela, Shareen, Chien Yee, Ye Ru, Alysha, Voon Hui, Betty, Jian Ming, Edvin, Elstan, Kinn Weng, Azril, Raja, TJ, Shih Yu, Joey, Yu Chieh and Haziq. Nonetheless, I prefer traveling with a small group of friends. The reason is simply because you won't be torn between different groups of friends.

I was rather quiet throughout the whole trip, probably because I was tired and I really need some times for myself. Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy the companion of my cheerful and crazy friends but I just couldn't stop thinking about the uncertainty of the future and recall the sweet memories in KTJ when I saw the blue sky and the blue sea. When I lied on the sandy beach, it was the most peaceful moment. My mind was completely blank and I allowed the sea breeze to share the stories of the sea with me.

It is kinda sad to see that many coral reef are destroyed due to the human activities. The overwhelming tourism activities have constantly posing threats to the coral reef. I remember the colourful coral reef that I saw in Sabah. They are so well-protected under the stringent rules and regulations. Perhaps the Marine Rangers of Redang Island can revise their policies and implement more efficient methods to protect the coral reef. Something has to be done.

On the last day, I decided to wake up to see the sunrise. However, being as lazy as I have always been, I actually snoozed my alarm. I woke up one hour after the time I set with deep regret. Sheela alone managed to catch the glimpse of the rising sun. I am envy.

Everything sold in the resort is rather expensive. To apply what I learnt from Economics, this phenomenon is known as price discriminating. The tourists from China, Taiwan, Hong Kong and other countries might not be aware of this simply because they don't have fresh coconuts and Ice Kacang in their countries(therefore RM8 per bowl of ice kacang seemed to be extraordinary cheap for them). If you are opting for a budget beach trip, I doubt Laguna Resort will be your choice. Put aside the money matter, I would otherwise encourage you to spend your holiday(perhaps Honeymoon) here.

Another memorable thing about this trip is I get to apply what I have studied in Geography in real life. On our very very last night, we were lying on the white sandy beach while staring at the starry night. Out of a sudden, Sheela asked me is it going to rain in the morning. I remembered the topic of atmospheric instability and the particular topic on the formation of precipitation. After studying the night clouds and the sea breeze, I told Sheela that it is not going to rain. My prediction met objection from Kinn Weng. He claimed that it is going to rain really soon as he saw the lightning a few times. I went on arguing with him by using my geographical knowledge. Probably I am not convincing enough, KW refused to believe in my prediction. Guess what, the next morning is a bright day!!!

Three-Days-and-Two-Nights-Trip seems to be too short for anyone of us. We all wished to stay longer on the island and relax ourselves thoroughly. But there is an end for every happiness. After bidding farewell to Redang Island, we went back to college and continue our journey. An journey which will come to its end soon.

leaving

2010-06-25T10:00:00.000+08:00

While I am writing this post, many people have left the school and go back to their hometown. I am stranded here because I have an award to receive during Speech Day and a camp to attend.

Yesterday marked the end of my A-level education. I felt blanked. It seems rather short to spend 2 years in KTJ for A-level. I wish to stay longer in this school no because of its facilities and resources, but because of the different type of people you will meet here.

Yesterday's paper - FP2 was manageable. As expected, I do not know how to answer the question of polar coordination and complex number. Anyway, I do have great faith that I'll get my A. Sometimes exam is not bad after all. During the preparation period, I have more bonding sessions with my housemates. I miss the time I bumped into Faidhi and complain about my lack-of-practices for FP2. Not forgetting Aiman who kept on telling me that he didn't touch the 88-past-questions but I found out later on that he was bullshitting. And many nights of curling up myself on Carl's bed.

When you leave KTJ, you'll be stuffed with all these sweet and bitter memories. Thanks God I have lots of photos of KTJians. Before I go to UK, I'll definitely print out all these photos and bring them along to UK.

our very last photo!

Faidhi just left. 30 minutes ago. I gave him a GOODBYE hug and wonder when will I be seeing him again as he will be flying to USA. People come, people leave. This is the cycle of life. Farewell.

after internal house night, kita dan bunga kita

如果有一天我变成一只猫 If i become a cat

2010-06-23T22:31:00.002+08:00

a）一定是我太爱你这个笨乌龟

a) I must be loving you too much

b）我被高级数学折磨到死
b) I was tortured to by F-P-2

photo by Syahirah

the call

2010-06-17T11:01:00.001+08:00

the prom is coming. I just received the invitation card which is beautifully sealed with the red wax. Love the efforts put in by the prom committee. Excited!

geography class

2010-06-14T13:22:00.000+08:00

It's good to learn in a small group. Somehow I miss my Geography class.

崩裂前声嘶力竭vs充电

2010-06-12T13:49:00.005+08:00

《崩裂前声嘶力竭》
作词／作曲：阿弟仔
verse 1:
谁被现实击溃
谁的梦已瓦解
消失在
陌生的那片天
找不回
曾经骄傲的脸

揭开这片迷炫(步出这场狼狈)
补上这块残缺
不要再
成天虚索安慰
问自己是否用尽一切

Chorus:
声嘶力竭崩裂之前
不妥协不後退
声嘶力竭崩裂之前
不掉泪不後悔直到终结

Verse 2:
谁弃守了信念
谁告别了尊严
埋葬在
深不见底的夜
化成灰
也不见光的悔

吞下这滴眼泪(拭去这些可悲)
捡拾这片破碎
把愤怒
化作力量往前
这一次
绝对用尽一切

Bridge:
非要轰轰烈烈
非要这麽狂野
浪漫的宣泄
放肆的冒险
不过就一回

大概是一年前吧，收到了一份电邮邀请我替一首demo写歌词。那时候就根据要求写了这一首歌词。后来，我渐渐地把这件事情忘记了。前几天，在网络上听到这首熟悉的旋律（为了填词我可是将这首歌听了将近百次）。听着歌词，发现并不是我熟悉的那几句歌词。看来阿弟仔并不满意我得歌词，所以决定亲自出马。比较了两首歌词，阿弟仔写得歌词真的比较符合神木与瞳的精神。我还是有点少许的失落。虽然歌词落选了，但是我不会轻易气馁得。我会继续创作歌词，像自己写的那句歌词： ‘就算勇气凋谢，我们还有信念’

如果你喜欢我写的歌词，就留言给我鼓励吧。＝）

《充电》
填词：夏葳
Verse 1:
今天微笑告别
留下空荡房间
我看见
眼泪太过善变
我听见
失败编织谎言

Verse 2:
明天寂寞搬迁
阳光没有意见
我遇见
幸福残缺的脸
我了解
生活需要充电

Chorus:
跨越极限
我不疲倦
这路线
很新鲜

迈向终点
我靠直觉
这世界的美艳
我去体验

Bridge:
就算勇气凋谢
我们还有信念
青春的扉页
疼痛在瓦解
刻画出完全

stress?

2010-06-12T09:45:00.001+08:00

Well, economics was over or should I say CIE was over. I am left with maths papers - Statistics 3, Core Maths 4(retake) and Further Pure Maths 2.

During the pre-econs period, I was quite disturbed during my revision plan. I couldn't revise in the house due to the loud noise coming from next door from the morning till the evening. Ok, you just do not have to let the whole world that you're deaf. I can choose to play my DAVID COOK's SONGS loudly when you're preparing for your science papers but do you want me do that? At least give me some peace in the morning so that I can be woke up by my alarm but not your LINKIN PARK's songs. What an inconsiderate neighbour!

When I went to 6th form centre to study, again, there are some inconsiderate people who will talk loudly behind you when you're trying to concentrate on your revision. The worst thing is too see how some people are 'over-excited' about economics until they went online to find extra resources to study. This makes you felt so inferior. I mean you don't have to stuff yourself with so many extra knowledge(which I believe you'll forget right after your exam). It is not about getting A* after all.

What? I sounded like as if I am bragging my ability and look down at other people? Excuse me, not worrying over economics doesn't mean that I'm a smartass ok? I just believe that unnecessary stress is indeed unnecessary before your exam. What is the point of stressing yourself up when you know that you'll be doing fine in your examination. Get a life!

Well, I might sound too pathetic but that's the way I live my life. Please laugh at yourself when we get the same grade during the result-release-day.

just when we discovered who we were, we change again

2010-06-11T10:48:00.003+08:00

my 200th post?

2010-06-10T23:28:00.000+08:00

So this will be my 200th post? After blogging for 4 years? How pathetic?

Anyway, I would like to write a short update before I sleep.

This week:
1. It's my best friend's birthday. I organised a 'small' party for him(many didn't turn up as they have chem and accounting paper on the next day). At first we planned to give him a surprise but he being too smart, ruined the surprise. =( Nonetheless, I hope he had a blast(which I believe he did when I received a super long message from him).

2. UCAS confirmed the changes on my application. I have been dealing with this matter for 2 weeks and they sent me an email early this morning to inform me about the confirmation. What a relieve! I have applied for the accommodation. I choose the single en-suite economy room without calculating what I could buy with the extra £10 I would otherwise save by choosing single room(with shared bathroom).

3. Economics paper 4 is finally over. HALLELUJAH! It was rather manageable for me. Hoping to get A*(provided I perform excellently well for my paper 3). Oh well, after tomorrow, I'll be saying bye bye to economics.

Till here, good night and sweet dream. =)

glossy babe

2010-06-08T11:27:00.001+08:00

I should be revising my economics now(the paper is 2 days away from now), but I decided to share about iPhone 4 with you all.

Apple just released its brand new 'iPhone 4' yesterday. While I was waiting to meet Mr Jones in the library, Sheela came to me and talk about how awesome the new iphone 4 is. I decided to check on the internet after meeting principal. So I spent exactly an hour checking on the press release about the new babe. I was deeply impressed by this new technology. Hmm, I think I'll get myself one iPhone 4 in UK then.

Check this website out: 10 things to know about iPhone 4

hey Queen Mary

2010-06-05T12:09:00.001+08:00

When I applied for my university last year, University of Queen Mary is one of my five choices. One month after I submitted my application, QM visited my school. Being passionate as I have always been, I asked the officer a lot of question regarding the study at QM. At night, I received an email from QM, informing me that I am offered a place to study at QM.

Early this year, I decided to firm Warwick as my first choice and put QM as my second choice. However, my sponsor contacted me last month and they mentioned their disapproval of my firm university choice. I have no choice but to follow their instructions. The process of changing application status is tiring. I was lucky to have Ms Sarah and a bunch of friends helping me to make the changes.

So I will not be going to Warwick this October. The new destination is now QM.

Cheers. =)

assassin

2010-06-02T16:13:00.000+08:00

they never knew that I am an assassin too.

moody?

2010-06-01T19:34:00.000+08:00

They'd say when you're moody, you should listen to John Mayer's songs. Sorry for writing so many moody posts recently but I am so attached to this song.

defeated

2010-06-01T13:41:00.000+08:00

What would you do when you're defeated?

I'd recommend you to cry until you're running out of tears. Your whole life is written before you came to this world so why don't you take whatever happened to you (whether it's good or bad) as a destiny. I'm not pessimistic, I'm just less optimistic. When a window is closed for you, another window will be opened to you. So, believe in the intuition(you'll suffer less in this way).

~~I might not be going to University of Warwick to further my study. This is just another update.~~