wynnw's Xanga

A picture update without seriousness (because sometimes it gets tiring)

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:03:45 GMT

I had two costumes for Halloween. I was Marie Antoinette for two parties, and by party #3, I was too tired to do my hair so I skanked it up.

Can you "where's waldo" me?

Yep, that's my real hair.
Trashy time... awhh yeahhh!

I love Halloween in America.

We might as well be strangers

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 06:28:04 GMT

I have not seen very many movies, yet in my box-o-memories are ticket stubs to movies like "The Dark Knight", "Juno', "Burn After Reading", and "Knocked Up" which were just some of the ones that I saw with Lowell during the course of our relationship. Along with those stubs sit prom pictures, dried roses, restaurant reciepts, lift tickets-- bits and pieces of scrap that documented four significant years of my life. I'm not really one for scrapbooking either so these things are mixed with other little knick-knacks like notes from highschool and candy wrappers.

My phone rings Friday morning while I'm getting my hot chocolate from Starbucks.
"I think I should remove you from my Facebook. We're both in relationships now and I think it's best for closure."

How is this even relevant? Facebook? Really? (Only in this generation...) I wasn't aware that purging every memory of me was required for closure but that seems to be the case. But it has indeed been confirmed. We're never going to talk to each other again. I felt relief at first. Now I can pretend that he never existed. But is that really what I want? As someone who treasures every memory because I believe that is what makes me who I am, I cannot understand why it can be so easy for some people to erase everything that used to be important from their life.

After having that short and frustrating conversation with Lowell, I found myself feeling hurt and vulnerable all over again. And then the most wonderful feeling came to me. I was glad that my hell was over. I defended Lowell to everyone that told me I could date a better guy. But why? I was not happy and he didn't care to see me happy. Now I tell people that breaking up with me was the most selfless thing he had ever done for me.

Realizing that Lowell was all wrong for me has made me feel much stronger, happier, and grateful. Stronger because I know that I can move forward without depending on a guy, happier because the time I spent single was a happier time for me than anything that I've ever felt. I experienced life more after our break-up than during the relationship. And I am especially grateful because I got the chance to meet the guy that I'm dating now and he happens to be pretty cool.

And it just so happens that he makes my heart flutter

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:05:42 GMT

I've been AWOL for a couple of weeks because I figured writing about drunk shenanigans all the time would get old. Which is to say that is all I was doing for a while. Drinking, I mean. I guess all that drinking has finally paid off because I have a boyfriend now. He's that guy I talked about a couple months ago. It's funny because I ended up writing him off and assumed that he was just not that into me. That's right, I don't wait around for anyone.

This guy though, he's something else. Really, I found myself swooning the other day... and I don't really swoon. The point is, he's my boyfriend and I like it. It took me almost a week to give in but I did it. After being single for five months, I'm in a committed relationship. Jessica said it was time for me to settle down anyway which is probably true. Juggling men was never my favorite thing to do. It was rewarding though because a couple weekends ago, I sold a fake number for $20 and then went to Jack-in-the-Box for hangover food. Being a girl is so awesome. I think this is going to be the start of something beautiful.

One girl's trash... another girl's party dress?

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 05:53:51 GMT

I need to sell my clothes but I don't want to get ripped off by re-sale places like Buffalo Exchange. Any recommendations on ways I can sell my awesome clothes and eliminate the middle man?

(Do you ever realize that you're not really eliminating the middle man but rather, you're becoming the middle man? Economics is so interesting!)

Should I put up a Facebook annoucement or something in one Facebook Marketplace? It's too cold in Seattle for a garage sale. Help?

The ability to talk about my weaknesses

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 07:07:33 GMT

Many people don't like to focus on their weaknesses which is quite understandable. Afterall, realizing your strengths makes you feel better about yourself. Yet, how does one imporve when they don't see what needs to be bettered?

I pride myself in my strengths but hide my lower points from the world in order to not feel vulnerable. But here I am today sitting in my long lost cousin's living room in San Jose and all I can think about is how much I want to move here. Wouldn't it be nice to just run away? Yes, I'm a coward and I run away from my problems. I suppose many have gathered that already but it makes sense. It dawned on me other day when I was on one of my runs and I started to picture things that I was emotionally and mentally running away from which in turn, motivated me to run faster and harder in real life. Heck, if I didn't love my friends back in Seattle so much, I'd make plans to move here in a heartbeat.

So while we're on the topic of weaknesses, what's one of yours? I'll have to brainstorm some more of mine before I share another one. I'm too pooped out from the non-stop fun here in San Jose to write anymore.

My independence day

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 05:22:27 GMT

It is always fascinates me when I see male patients come into their doctor's appointments with their female counterparts. Among the variety of couples, the one that I take the most interest in are the ones where the woman in the relationship treats the man like she would her own son. She would fill out all of the man's paperwork as if he were illiterate. She would make all of his appointments as if she were in charge of his schedule, and she would be the one that I talk to if there were any conflicts or financial confusion.

What I don't understand is what kind of woman would do this? If someone can do something for themselves, why not let them do it? What is even stranger is why any man would put up with this?

Sometimes I think that I've become too acustomed to the single life. I like the fact that I don't have to take care of anyone-- especially not a grown man who is perfectly capable of holding a pen and filling out forms on his own. I like that I can come and go and do as I please without needing to consider my signifcant other's feelings. The single life is good.

Two strange things happened that made me realize how much I really wanted to be single. First, I was introduced to someone a couple weeks ago as "Tony's Wynn". Secondly, someone labeled a guy that I had been sleeping with as my boyfriend. To both occurances I responded with, "I'm nobody's Wynn. I don't belong to anyone. He is NOT my boyfriend."

What strikes me as odd was that only a year ago, I was somebody's Wynn. I was just like those women that would take care of their boyfriends/husbands/fiances even though they didn't need it. Only a year ago. Sometimes I wonder how much longer Delilah "I don't belong to anybody" Wynn is going to stick around. I love being an independent girl and I hope that my relationship status will never change that.

I feel like a rabbit eating all of this lettuce and carrots

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:55:53 GMT

I miss being 16. There wasn't anything particularly special about that age aside from the fact that I could eat 2000 calories a day, exercise regularly and not gain a pound. Man, those days were great. When college came around, I was even fortunate enough to not have the freshmen fifteen sneak up on me because the UW Campus is so big that I always ended up walking for at least 30 minutes a day... with 20 lbs of books on my back.

Now I'm twenty-one twenty-two with a desk job. My daily activities consists of driving to work, sitting for eight hours, driving home, sitting some more. On top of that, my office gets food catered to us about twice a week-- delicious food. So now I'm doing this new-fangled thing called dieting and exercising.

This is what I've gathered from dieting. It sucks. The "exercising" part is fun and easy but having restrictions put on what I can and cannot eat makes Delilah a hungry girl. All Most delicious food is bad for the body.

Exhibit A: Ice cream

Exhibit B: Beer

Who wants to go on a diet if they can't have beer or ice cream? (At the same time if you're into Beer Floats hah!)
Alongside the aforementioned two things, I have also given up on anything fried (sweet potato fries), and anything fizzy (San Pellegrino). AND to make it worse, I've started eating vegetables (gag).

This sucks

Seattle: we're hipsters.

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 00:57:56 GMT

I read an article today about Seattle being the next "youth magnet". As if we didn't have a terrible traffic problem already. All I can say is that there had better be a fresh new batch of single young men coming into town. I'll put up with the traffic if it means we get some fresh meat around here.

If people my age are so willing to re-locate maybe I should leave too? This is really my chance seeing as to how I'm not committed to anything or anyone right now.

Why would anyone want to live here anyway? There is so much rain and there is so many damn hippies and pretentious yuppies. Go back to the Hamptons where you belong, yuppies!!

That is all.

I don't trust bitches... or men

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 22:16:38 GMT

Men know what to say to get exactly what they want and they're really good at knowing what you want to hear. What makes it hard is that there are men... excuse me, boys who will lie and then there are men who will tell the truth. The tricky part is being able to tell the difference.

When I was hanging out with the womanizer, he'd say things to me like "oh I'm a romantic and I love sweethearts blah blah blah." Even though he didn't know it, what he really meant was that he had romanticized the idea of a perfect woman and won't stop sleeping around until he found her. Luckily I got out of that situation before any damage was done.

So I'm on the phone with my PC Gamer friend and he says something along the lines of being able to see the two of us holding hands in the park and being couple-y somewhere far into the future. Why was I so surprised to hear that? We live in a world where its okay for two consenting adults to have casual sex and make nothing of it. Why would anyone want a relationship when they can just "wham bam thank you ma'am" and then get the heck out of there-- no strings attached? Can it be that I'm so jaded that I'm actually fine with casual sex, friends with benefits, ... wham bam thank you ma'am? Have I just stopped trusting people all together? And if that is the case, when did this happen and how do I change my view on life, sex, and relationships?

I would assume that the no-sex pact I had with my BFF was a step in the right direction but since that went down the crapper along with all my dignity, what else is there for a person who likes casual sex... to un-like the casual sex? AND, how on earth does one go about a long period of time without sex in general? I think I just like to pretend that I consent to sex with someone whom I'm not dating because I don't want to be a needy woman. No one wants to be forced into a relationship... especially not men but I am still a girl after all and girls just want to be desired by someone they desire. Do you follow me?

The answer to all my questions are very clear at this point. I have two options: to become a lesbian... which is what I am when I have too much alcohol or to have threesomes more often.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 19:31:57 GMT

As much as I hate to say it, I am willing to admit that I'm an expert at breaking up. Ok, maybe not. But I do know the best way to go about it. Don't call the other person! And don't pick up if they call you. Don't text or email. Heck, change their name in your pone book to "don't pick up." (Bolded font for emphasis... DON'T CONTACT THEM!)

Why is this better? Think about it. The transition from "in a relationship with" to "just friends" is a tough one. You can't go walking around holding hands and kissing and doing extra curricular activities with a person one day and then immediately the next day, switch to platonic hang outs. The temptation is there, the shitty feeling of rejection is there... and most of all, they are right there with it. My advice: wait it out a month at least and don't talk to the other person no matter what-- go for two or three months if you can, and then you can begin your relationship as friends.

People forget that they need to get over someone before they can go along life as friends. This is how you end up in the classic Ross and Rachel situation. Perhaps being on-and-off for ten years worked for them but they are fictitious people and you aren't. Yes that's right. They are the exception and you are not on TV.

I was having brunch with one of my best friends the other morning when she mentioned that she could either wait ten years or move along. I know that feeling. It made me sad that a beautiful, smart, young and successful girl is willing to wait around for someone who is having so much trouble deciding what he wants. I know that feeling because there was a point of time in my life where I was willing to wait for the guy that I loved to finally respect and appreciate me. Finally, I thought, "why bother?" There's no point investing yourself into something that isn't worth the time or energy anymore.

This is not to say that breaking up is easy. In fact, its one of the toughest things I had to go through. But after you pass that point where you kinda want to die (yeah... I'm a little bit dramatic), it's all smooth-sailing (that is, until you have another break-up...).

The break-up without the space? The worst situation EVER...