World Wide Jeb

Spitting Directly into your Face: That’s My New Signature

Jeb — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 08:00:25 +0000

After moving house earlier this year, I noticed something very strange when I was updating my electoral enrolment details. The lengthy form concludes with a request that you leave your “signature or mark”. Eh? Mark? Now, I’m not completely certain what the government considers a “mark” – perhaps an official stamp of some sort? Imagine the delightful [...]

Is this the Most 90’s Book Cover Ever?

Jeb — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:00:13 +0000

There’s a heaving pile of unread books by my bed, and it’s constantly a surprise to see what literary atrocities I forgot that I ever purchased. Here’s the problem. Around ten years ago, I rediscovered how awesome books were. The idiotic problem I created for myself was that I was accumulating new books at five times [...]

Rammstein’s Awesomely Inappropriate Remixes

Jeb — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:30:19 +0000

Rammstein’s latest album is a pretty good return to form. It’s accessible bouncy industrial, although their subject matter often veers towards the unhinged -- porn, cannibalism sex… actually, pretty much every sexual perversion you can think of. Because they’re belting it out in German, it sounds that much more evil. The remixes on their latest single [...]

Introducing my new Totally Violent Health Insurance Policy

Jeb — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:00:34 +0000

Dental checkups: they’re not much fun, especially as far as your wallet is concerned. However, I think I’ve stumbled on an answer which could make everything much easier to deal with. When I undertook a dental checkup recently, it struck me that the whole process is a slap in the face. Some sadistic dentist rams tools [...]

Bull Pizzle against Prolapse

Jeb — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 09:25:23 +0000

It was one of those conversations that could only happen after too much beer. We’d been discussing a mate of mine’s rather frightening obsession with cooking his own home-made jerky. If you’re going to the trouble of purchasing specific cuts of meat to shrivel it down into a lifeless husk – surely you’re less than six [...]

Channel 10 Reality Show Generator

Jeb — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 10:39:13 +0000

Seeing as Channel 10 seem to be struggling in the ratings, I’ve decided to help them out. Check it out: my patented Channel 10 Reality Show Generator. View it now and pretend you’re a coked-up network executive! Big thanks to the genius @lord_baconation for helping with the generator code!

What the Hell are they Smoking at the Febreze Factory?

Jeb — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 08:00:33 +0000

Has anyone ever bothered to read the packaging on cleaning products? It’s bizarre – check out the description of this Febreze “Hawaii” air freshener I purchased: Febreze’s entire air freshener range features equally bonkers marketing material. Their Moroccan Bazaar scent solves a harrowing household storage problem: Oh, thank god! My entire household was beginning to look like [...]

Motorbike Misdirection

Jeb — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 09:06:06 +0000

“Hmm, apparently we have to drive… directly through this football oval,” Adam murmured, squinting and stabbing at his iPhone screen. We’d trundled to the outer suburbs of Melbourne to inspect a motorbike Adam was interested in. In order to navigate to the owner’s home, we were relying solely on the Google Maps directions on Adam’s phone. [...]

Suggested Antiques Roadshow Spin-Offs

Jeb — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 08:00:21 +0000

We can all agree that Antiques Roadshow is very safe television. It’s time for this franchise to be relaunched with some edgier spin-offs! With the help of my buddy Sam, we came up with: Antiques Roadhouse Similar to the film Roadhouse, but instead of Patrick Swayze, it features old gay men beating each other up with Chippendale and [...]

Naomi Robson is Back!

Jeb — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 08:00:45 +0000

Earlier this week, Defamer Australia lifted the lid on this darkly hilarious development: I know you’ve all been missing Naomi Robson’s presence on the small screen. So here’s some news that ought to cheer you up immensely – she’s back! Kinda! She’s talking relationships and Secret Men’s Business with high profile penis owners like Nick Giannopoulos! If [...]