So that you don’t miss it and our other tips that come in-between, please email us at DEFINE@imani.org to be added to our mailing list.

She was my YMCA summer camp counselor, whom I met when I was twelve years old.  That summer as I watched her prepare for law school.  Her dedication to achieving entrance into law school helped me to dream of the possibility of higher education.  In one summer my mentor fundamentally changed my life!  Before then, I had never seen anyone that looks like me who had gone to college; let alone studying for graduate school.   That summer, my mentor Cheryl, planted a seed in me that would change my life and show me that there were more options in life to choose from then those that existed within the four blocks that had occupied most of my life.  She helped me to understand that getting an education was more powerful and rewarding than the get rich quick schemes that had previously pervaded my thoughts. This was my first defining moment!   I have had many other defining moments after that, and each has helped me to get closer to realizing my potential.

Knowing the enjoyment and satisfaction I have found in defining my own way, it is disheartening for me to see women with so much potential that is never fully realized.   I thought I was alone in this until I recently read a quote by Oprah Winfrey, “It’s depressing and overwhelming at times to look at how much potential we have and yet we’re constantly bombarded by images and information that speaks to the lowest common denominator. We can do better. We can be better. I know it’s true.”   This is what I describe as a call to define!   My wish is that every woman finds the joy I have found inside of me by fully realizing my potential.  I believe it is time for us to turn the tide of the pop culture values that pervade the media (tabloids, reality TV) and start embracing our own potential.   It is time to define our authentic self, to stop allowing people, places and things to hinder us from developing our individual gifts and talents and to discover who we each are meant to be.  I say this from experience because if my neighborhood had its choice, my life would have been defined by jail, drugs and drive by shootings.  Instead my mentor shined a light on me of hope, possibility and promise. Now how to get it but she showed me that it was already there and available for me to tap in to.  I now know that this same power is available to each of us.

I’m sure you are asking, why this call to define?  Think about it, so many of us as woman define ourselves by the car we drive, the hair we buy and that designer purse on our arm.   There is nothing wrong with wanting nice things but I wonder how many women actually realize that those things do not make us who we are!  It is as simple as understanding that an outfit I may treat myself to has nothing to do with the label or definition I allow myself to be defined by.    What does it matter if I look good on the outside if I feel less than on the inside?  My desire is that we no longer allow people, places or things to DEFINE us but instead allow our passion, our purpose, our gifts and talents to be the fuel that drives our life.  My wish is that we each become the author of the definition that defines our lives.  This is why I am calling all women to the Define Your Own Way Movement so that as we become the women we are meant to be, we no longer need things to define us but instead we find that fulfillment from the light that burns within; that “bling-bling” that shines forth as we live in OUR truest calling. It’s time for us to stop thinking the grass is greener on the other side and start to water our own lawn.

So what is your untapped potential?  The Webster dictionary defines potential as “existing in possibility: capable of development into actuality.”   So if potential is that which is possible then it is up to each of us to make it possible, tangible, and real in our lives.   Think of it this way, no one starts a race at the finish line!  So, if we are capable then all it takes is to show up to the starting line and then run the race to get to the finish line. What does this mean to your untapped potential?  Well all you have to do is actually begin to move in the direction of developing your ability, your own genius, capacity and talents in order to be ALL that we are meant to be!   How you might ask?  Let me share with you my own journey and the 6 key principles I found that it took for me to DEFINE.

 D – Discover.  The first stop on my journey was to fully realize what was holding me back from realizing my potential: perceptions about what I thought it meant to “be‘ hood.” These thoughts created self-imposed limits about what I believed possible for my future.  I had to fight to get this off of me so that I would no longer be hindered by narrow minded thinking. I can tell you stories of the young woman I used to be and the things I did to try and be down in my ‘hood, and I have to tell you it was hard to make the switch but if I didn’t there is NO telling where I would be today!  What may be holding you back?  Or what limits might you be putting on yourself? It is time to heal yourself from it so can move on from the hold it has on you, preventing you from being ALL you were meant to be!

E – Edification –   I learned that it was important that I be a complete package, and to be complete I had to build myself up both inside and out.  I had to increase my positive self-esteem, learn more about personal finances, focus on health and exercise, make better choices in regards to sexuality, concentrate on education and develop my self-image to be aligned with the definition of me that I wanted others to see upon my arrival.

F – Faith – in order to succeed in defining myself, I learned I had to first believe in myself.  In all things, I learned that I had the power to choose to believe in my gifts, talents and abilities or to doubt and do without.  I had to learn to take my power back and believe just as my momma always says, God don’t make no junk!

I – Invest – I had to start to pay closer attention to who was around me and who was investing in me. I had to figure out if my friends, family and relationships were building me up or tearing me down.  What I learned is that if I wanted my life to continue to move in a positive direction, I could only allow people, places and things in my life that will invest in me and help me to move in a positive direction toward maximizing my potential.

N – Nurture – above all else, I learned that I had to stay focused on nurturing my gifts and talents as I moved in the direction to fully realizing them.  If life is a game, it was time for me to score points and play to win!  It was time for me to put myself in a position that every defining moment in my life propel me in a positive direction and no longer take me off of my path.

E – Essence – once I began to flourish in the first 5 areas I realized people began to tell  me that I was glowing.  That there was something different about me and I realized that what it was is that I was truly allowing my essence, my soul, my true authentic self to shine as I was now a fully DEFINED woman!  “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.”

These 6 key areas are not a onetime “wham bam thank you ma’am” exercise, but something I  continue to work at constantly which causes movement toward my potential on a daily basis, and thus I can live as my truest self!

So what is the dream that you have not fully realized?  The thing you are good at that you never fully started for fear of being laughed at?    Who is the negative person or the negative self-talk you continue to plant in your own soul? What is that thing that happened to you in your past that prevents you from thinking you are capable of being the fabulous woman you are meant to be?  Whatever it is, it’s time to LET IT GO and get moving in the direction of your purpose!    I have to tell you that this is the most significant desire of MY life, to truly, fully become the woman I am meant to be so that I may live in purpose and passion in every aspect of my life in every day of my life.  This is the same thing I want for each of YOU!  If this too is your wish I invite you to join me on this journey to finding your true self!  It is time to DEFINE!

As we all prepare to end the year, what a perfect time to take stock of 2011. What are your main take aways from this year? What did you accomplish? What did you learn about you that will help you move forward toward a better you in 2012? What are your goals both personal & professional for 2012? As we close out the year, I encourage you to take the next few weeks to think about what you have learned and how you have grown this last year as well as to sometime to set goals for next year. I would LOVE to hear from you if you would like to share

Now allow me to share with you….. My goal professionally in 2011 was to set up infrastructure in Imani so that we can continue to grow without me losing my mind..LOL. We brought in 3 new staff in 2011. This is a supper exciting for me as our new staff are all Imani Phi Christ (our youth program) alumni who have come back to give back as grown women and have truly been a blessing already to the company! This has truly helped me with my #1 goal for 2012, to continue to serve you all with new programming. I have heard input from many of you and because of that; we are working on 4 new projects to launch in 2012. YAY!!!! I can’t wait to share each of them with you in 2012. Personally, my goal is to take 3 vacations a year. This year I found the more I get renewed and recharged the better I am able to serve. I am also more committed to eat healthier and to exercise 6 days a week. Those are my major goals for 2012. I am VERY thrilled to see what 2012 has in store for all of us! I look forward to hearing your goals as well!!!

I would like to take this time to thank each of you for reading my Blog over this last year. Weather you read one or all, I appreciate you his journey with me and allowing me to have this moment with you. Please know that another goal for 2012 is to make-over our blog as well. Look for details in January but in the meantime…….Here’s wishing each of you a WONDERFUL Holiday Season & a Happy New Year. I will see you on our blog in 2012!!!

“Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

 “No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.” – Aesop

 “Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up.” ~Jesse Jackson

 Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do. – Khalil Gibran

 Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important tha your own. – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

 If you haven’t any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. ~Bob Hope

 Don’t wait for people to be friendly, show them how. ~Author Unknown

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I may not be where I want to be but I am thankful for not being where I used to be. – Unknown

 Be thankful for your trials.  If you’re being tested, you’re being perfected.  Which means you have a divine purpose & reason to rejoice! – Unknown

 Leaving yesterdays troubles behind me & being thankful for the gift of today! – Unknown

1. Writing it in a Journal:       Writing out each win, gives you reason to celebrate and reflect on a job      well done.  Each small victory adds      up to make the whole triumph of making it to the finish line of your goal.
2. Look at How Far You Have Come: When you are feeling frustrated, go back and      read in your journal just how far you have come.  This helps you through the times of      struggle, frustration, disappointment, ya know setbacks! In those times, what      your journal is, is something that will remind you how far you HAVE come      and hopefully will give you fuel to keep on keeping on.
3. Reward Yourself:        Buy yourself a present or a gift to pat yourself on the back for a  job well done! Don’t just keep it moving      to the next goal, stop and give yourself time to enjoy, relax and bask in      the glory of your accomplishment!  You      did it girl!  Now take a BIG inhaling      breathe and feel good about what you have done thus far!
4. Acknowledge & Celebrate:      When you achieve even a small part of your goal, stop and find a way to allow      others to help you celebrate! Yes share it with friends and family.  Write it on your facebook page and allow      others to join in this moment of accomplishment.

So many people down play praise and appreciation. Yes it is OK for us to feel good about something we have done. This is a great way to start changing your mindset and allowing good to come to you. When you celebrate accomplishments, you will feel great, and that great feeling will produce more greatness in your life.  So, it’s time to get your party on and celebrate where you are each stop of the way on the way to where you are going!

 The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. – Oprah Winfrey

 It’s always good to remember where you come from and celebrate it. – Anthony Burgess

 A dream becomes a goal when action is taken toward its achievement. – Bo Bennett

 Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery so live for today. – Unknown

So in the spirit of living for today, here are 4 keys to stay focused on the present;

1. Let Go of the Past. What does past mean, that it is over right? So learn the lessons from what lies behind you and leave it there….BEHIND YOU.
2. Take Time to Plan.  Stop and write out goals for yourself to achieve.  What good are all your desires if you just keep them in your head and you never sit down long enough to plan out how you will get there.  Get them out of your head and put them on paper.,…yes MAKE YOUR VISION PLAIN so you can see what you are working toward and how you will accomplish it.
3. Keep in Mind Plans Can Change.  As you reach a milestone or two, your next mountain to climb may look different then you planned and that is OK, just alter your plan accordingly and keep it moving.  Don’t give up because things aren’t working exactly as you planned them.   We all must learn to roll with the punches.  
4. Face Each Day as a Gift.  Realize that you have 24 hours in any given day, don’t take those hours for granted and use them to the best of your ability in order to move in the direction of your plan, your dreams.

Here’s another question for you, when you leave this earth how do you want to be remembered? Whatever that answer is for you, it’s time to work toward your dream, your goals and make them happen.  It’s time to stop putting things off. 

JUST SAY NO TO PROCRASTINATION.

JUST SAY NO TO LIMITED THINKING and SELF DOUBT!

Live for today and live every moment working toward being ALL you were meant to be.  Live in celebration of the gift of life that was given to you TODAY!

 There are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single way to get one back.” ~Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister

 The best way to get something done is to begin. ~Unknown

 Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.” ~Unknown

We all are familiar with falling down and getting back up.  Just think back to when you were little and you were learning to ride your bike.  Of course we fell down, but if you never got back up, you would have never learned how to ride a bike.  Let’s go back even further to when you learned how to walk, yes you had to crawl and then stumble before you walked so that means you feel down over and over and yet you got back up.  The point I am trying to make is that we all have fallen down in our lives, even beyond the time we learned to walk or ride that bike.  We have fallen when we went through a bad breakup, set a goal that did not happen the way we planned, or even lost a job or a loved one.  There are many situations and circumstances that take us through ups and downs in life.  So the question should not be whether or not we will fall but instead will you get back up! 

Too often in life we allow ourselves to stay down there instead of finding the power within to push ourselves back up! Yes we must find that courage, strength, audacity or boldness to get back up again and again!!!!  Even when we don’t feel like it!  Even when we can’t see the opportunity or possibility that things will get better!  Even if we are frustrated, tired, heartbroken, distressed or depressed.  Why?  Because if we allow ourselves to stay stuck in negative and/or complain about it, things will never get better!  Murmuring and complaining makes us like the children of Israel.  You know that story in the bible where they were traveling to the promise land.  You see they were so focused on negative it took them 40 years to make a 40 day trip.  Why did it take so long?  Well when you are so stuck on negative it is difficult to see possibility when you feel impossibility.   Yes we have a choice when we find ourselves on that downward slope; we can either be bitter or better.  What do you want to be? Do you want to fall and stay there or do you want to get back up?  Do you want make a 40 day trip last  40 years?   I am sure you will agree that you want to be better, right!?  Here are two few things that can help you get back up;

• Learn From Where You Are.  There are lessons to be learned from everything. Consider where you are to be like a tune up.  You know we all have to take our car in for a tune up to keep it running properly, so consider this your time to make adjustments so that you can learn from this place and move on and better from the lessons learned.  
• Focus On The Good.  Don’t dwell on what’s wrong, concentrate on what is going right!

By learning to see our challenges as opportunities, we take our power back and learn to dance in the face of difficulty! That is truly how we learn to get back up.  What’s your choice?

Turn your wounds into wisdom.  ~Oprah Winfrey

 There is no progress without struggle – Frederick Douglas

 A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn.  ~Author Unknown