NaNoWriMo 2022 starts today. Not feeling quite ready? It’s okay.

Not reading this on November 1, 2022? It’s okay.

Not a novelist? It’s okay (there’s insight in here for writers of any genre).

Not sure you want to do this? It’s okay.

Not even sure what NaNoWriMo is? It’s okay.

What Is NaNoWriMo and Why You Might Care

It’s All Okay

For me, November 2022 will be a month to maintain steady progress on my novel. As long as I can honor my weekly commitment to give at least 15 minutes to my novel two out of seven days, I’m content. I don’t fuss myself about how many words I write or how “good” those words are.

I’ll say more about this in upcoming posts, but if you can’t wait you can read more here. Or use the Search function to explore.

Whether or not you call November NaNoWriMo, you, your writing goals, your writing process and the writing you produce is all okay.

Be at peace with your writing. Be at peace with yourself.

Creativity can’t flourish in anxiety or by demands.

I know how scary it can be to think about what your writing should be.

Fortunately, I also know how to get past fear to the writing. And I can show you how.

My Latest Struggle

I just got back to Minneapolis after helping my mom move to assisted living: two weeks of sorting, packing, giving things away, tossing stuff, scheduling movers, unpacking, organizing, requesting repeat visits from TV/internet provider to get the electronics on speaking terms in the new place, handling boxes and boxes and boxes going to Mom’s new place, going to relatives, going to pack & ship service, going into our van and driving, driving, driving, even on the days when I was nowhere near a motorized vehicle.

Before I left, I blissfully immersed in my novel an average of 4 days a week. The past two weeks, I squeezed in 20 minutes one day. Now that I’m back, it’s scary how hard it is to reclaim my rhythm and recall the possibilities I was playing with.

What’s Your Writing Struggle?

It may be easier for me than it is for you. I struggle, but at least I have my writing habits to reignite my commitment, my tracking table and other tools to reconstruct where I was.

Whether you used to have or never quite got the hang of regular writing routines, we all lose our way at times. What matters is to keep coming back.

Whatever has kept you from building the writing routines you want and need OR whatever pushed you off the writing routine you used to have – family crisis, crazy-making work upheavals, the pandemic, health issues, the creativity-numbing buzz of the zeitgeist – I want to help you start and/or restart your writing in my upcoming Loft Literary Center class.

Start – Or Restart – Your Writing Habit: We’ll meet via Zoom 6 – 8 pm on Wednesdays from Nov 3 to Dec 15 (no class on Nov 24). If the pandemic wrecked your writing life, eroded writing habits you used to have, or revealed how much you need a simple, sustainable writing practice, this class is for you. You’ll assess what did (and didn’t) support your writing pre-pandemic and what perspective shifts and behavior changes you want to keep, modify, or delete as you transition to post-pandemic writing life. You’ll experiment with simple habits and find safe and supportive witnesses during weekly check-ins who help you become accountable to yourself… (read more and register)

I hope to see you in November! Or hear about your progress in a comment.

How has your writing and your life as a writer changed since January 2020?

Take your time to freewrite/free association about that. I’ll wait.

Maybe your normal routines were turned inside-out and your once-regular writing habit got hazy. Maybe unprecedented responsibilities and problems pushed writing out of your mind altogether. Maybe you had time but couldn’t focus. Or your brain was so stressed, so lost in negative mind loops, that you couldn’t relax into creative thinking.

Me too. Not on all of those, not all the time, but enough.

Let’s stick a pin in those tendencies for now.

How have you grown as a person and writer?

What have you reclaimed and regained?

Consider how your writing practice (habits, routines, approach) and writing product (actual words) might have improved since the pandemic started.

Maybe you lost a simple habit, but found that reclaiming it made the habit stronger. (The muscles toddlers use to get up when they fall are the same muscles they need to walk – falling is part of growth and development.) Maybe you have a new awareness of complex problems. Maybe you see how your frustration and regret about lost writing time proves how much writing matters to you.

At a bare minimum, you have over a year and a half of field research on human responses to stress, struggle and fear. You experienced varying of degrees of isolation alternating with exposure, sometimes over-exposure, to people in your physical space and via social media.  

It’s hard to tell how long it will be until we return to “normal” or what the new normal will look like. But a few things are certain:

• We are forever changed
• The specifics about how you have changed – your ideas, your characters, your emotions, your spirit – are worth writing about
• These unique changes are the sparks of new stories, essays, poems, plays, articles, songs, bits and pieces given to you
• Only you can write what you are given to write — what you don’t write can never be written by anyone else
• But you are not alone — you are part of a writer’s community both locally and globally.

One of the multitude of ways to connect with other writers in the numerous sub-communities that make up the writer’s community is my upcoming Loft class, Start – Or Restart – Your Writing Habit, taught via Zoom, starting November 3, 2021. Find more information and register through the Loft Literary Center.

Class Description: If the pandemic wrecked your writing life, eroded writing habits you used to have, or revealed how much you need a simple, sustainable writing practice, this class is for you.

You’ll assess what did (and didn’t) support your writing pre-pandemic and what perspective shifts and behavior changes you want to keep, modify, or delete as you transition to post-pandemic writing life. You’ll experiment with simple habits and find safe and supportive witnesses during weekly check-ins who help you become accountable to yourself. Discover the power of daily tracking and action-mapping. Learn what writing practice looks like in each stage of the creative process. We’ll use in-class writing, breakout groups, and other exercises to cultivate sustainable habits, identify priorities, generate plans, and develop a support network to maintain your momentum.

This classic course has launched hundreds of writers into satisfying and successful writing practices. This is a creative process class, so we will not workshop your writing (although Rosanne will give you feedback on up to 10 pages of your writing). In-class exercises focus on your habits and tools discussed in class. You will work on your writing (story, poetry, essay, etc.) outside of class as part of your weekly commitments.

Sometimes writing is pure bliss. You get into the flow. You know exactly what to write without thinking about it. The words come to you without effort or hesitation.

You know it’s too soon to tell, but you’re pretty damn sure this is some of the best writing you’ve ever done.

On the other hand, sometimes, maybe even most times, writing is pure struggle.

Simple Truth: Writing Is Hard

Even when writing is bliss, it’s a hard-won bliss.

Writing in flow comes only after doing a good deal of prep work. It usually comes from the willingness to make mistakes and learn from them.

And in the end, it requires what can be the most challenging step of all: surrendering to your frustration.

(Read more about the brain science behind this.)

The Great Truth: Hard Doesn’t Matter

When we accept that writing is hard and stop expecting it to be easy, it gets easier. At least it gets easier to do the hard work. But only as long as you don’t expect it to be easy.

Thinking writing should be easy, even some of the time, makes writing harder all the time.

Because if writing is easy, then what the h*** is wrong with you? Why is it so hard for you to get and keep your butt in the chair? Why aren’t you writing a book in a month?

What’s So Great About this Truth?

Many years ago, I read something in M. Scott Peck’s The Road Less Traveled that has resonated for me my entire life.

Gifts of Acceptance

Knowing writing is hard won’t guarantee you’ll never question yourself as a a writer or fret over the imperfection of your writing. It does mean you’ll remember to ignore those worries.

The draft isn’t perfect? So what? It’s not supposed to be perfect; that would be too easy.

You’re not certain what your next step should be? You worry that you might make mistakes and waste time? So what? Creativity is never efficient. You can’t be creative without making mistakes; not because that would be too easy, but because it is simply not possible.

You wrestle to get to your writing space and stay focused? So what? No writer floats into effortless, blissful concentration to craft timeless work every day. That would be too easy.

Humans take the everyday for granted; if flawless writing in the flow was common, we wouldn’t call it bliss.

No matter how bleak it seems, we’re halfway through the dark.

We are a nation divided, yet we are still a nation. We have been shaken to our Constitutional core, but we still have a Constitution. I won’t assume that you and I see the same causes or agree on every detail of what the solutions are, but I trust we have similar goals and values and that we can find a creative way through this.

Every day of 2020 gave us opportunities to refrain from leaping to premature conclusions and rushing to unthinking condemnations. Our job as writers and artists is to open our eyes and our hearts, take note, observe human behavior and ask genuine, open-ended questions.

How quickly we report what we discover depends in large part on our genre – journalists share far more frequently than novelists, a sketch can be revealed sooner than a portrait.  How quickly we respond should NOT depend on our discomfort with uncertainty.

The writer’s/artist’s job is to be willing to be uncomfortable in the pursuit of truth, beauty and understanding, and to remain uncertain long enough to find truly creative (that is, novel and useful) connections. And boy howdy, 2020 delivered uncertainty!

Just as seeds sprout in the darkness underground, creative insight requires a time of not knowing and wandering lost in the dark. You can’t become enlightened if you haven’t traveled through darkness.

You can’t write the full depth of what you are called to write if you and your characters/themes don’t face the darkness in the world and within yourself/themselves.

Celebrate the Paradox of Light and Dark

Take heart, for today is the winter solstice and we are literally halfway through the dark. I believe we are metaphorically halfway through the dark, too. It takes courage to not let myself become discouraged. I take comfort and celebrate the symbolism in the paradox of the solstice – the literal halfway point.

Today is the shortest day and the longest night of the year. Today is the darkest day of the year, yet we are halfway through and turning toward the light.

In fiction, we call it the “all is lost moment.”

In the Jewish tradition, Hanukkah falls around this time of year, reminding us that when we think we have nothing left, no more fuel to burn, something miraculous can happen.

In the Christian tradition, Christmas is celebrated within days of the solstice to remind us of the paradox that the “King of Kings” is not a man at the height of his physical and social power found in a palace surrounded by the trappings of power and wealth, but a helpless baby found in the humblest, poorest shack for animals and laying in a food trough.

Spring Is Born in Winter

Winter starts today (for those of us in the northern hemisphere). Frigid winds will blow down from the arctic. The temps will drop. We’ll get snow and ice and more gloomy days than we wish.

BUT, from this day forward, every day will be a little longer. The sun will rise a few minutes earlier and set a few minutes later each day.

The solstice marks a turning point. The changes brought by a few minutes a day might be masked by winter’s gloomy weather, but they are happening. Just those few minutes more sunlight each day will transform winter to spring.

A few minutes more each day could transform your writing, too.

Today, on the Solstice, everything turns around. Today, on the Solstice, consider what you want to turn around in your writing life… your family… your community… your world.

Today is Solstice, so I share a Solstice Story that brings me hope. This Cherokee Creation story tells us it is not the mighty warriors who have the power to bring the light, but a small, insignificant grandmother.

Grandmother Spider Brings the Light

In the long ago when the world was new, all the animal people lived in darkness.

One day Fox had a dream of a Lake of Light far to the east. The Light was so beautiful, Fox said he would try to bring it to the People. Fox ran in the darkness as fast as he could. When he came to the Lake of Light at last, it was even more beautiful than he dreamed.

Fox jumped into the lake to grab a mouthful of Light to carry home, but the Light was hot! It burned Fox’s muzzle and feet black and turned the rest of his fur bright red, except the very tip of his tail, which stayed white. Fox still carries those colors in honor of trying to carry the Light.

Fox limped home, wounded and burned. But he had seen the Light and told everyone how glorious it was. Fox inspired Buzzard who offered to bring the Light and flew as fast as he could to the East.

When Buzzard saw the Lake of Light, he tried to carry a ball of Light home in his fine top feathers. But the Light was so hot, it burned all the feathers off of Buzzard’s head, and he’s bald to this very day.

One by one, all the animal warriors bravely journeyed through the dark to the east. And one by one, they all came home wounded and still in the dark.

“Maybe what we should learn from this is that we are not meant to have the Light,” one warrior said. “Maybe we are meant to live in darkness and be content.”

“Maybe,” a quavering voice replied, “what we should learn from this is that it is not the task of a warrior to bring the Light.”

The voice belonged to Grandmother Spider. “I am old and cannot run fast like the young warriors,” she said. “But send me and I will go.”

Before she left, Grandmother Spider went to the river and gathered clay with her long fingers. As she sang a clay-shaping song, Grandmother Spider made a small pot. Holding her pot in front of her, Grandmother Spider walked slowly in the dark to the east.

Because she walked so slowly, Grandmother Spider’s little pot was dry when she reached the Lake of Light. Maybe you know that if you put a clay thing in the fire too soon, it will shatter. But if you let the clay dry completely, it will not break but will become stronger when you put it in the fire.

Grandmother Spider dipped her pot into the lake. She held it up and it glowed with the Light within.

“Ah, you are beautiful,” Grandmother Spider said. She returned home carrying her little pot of Light.

Then she took a bit ball of Light and put it high in the sky for everyone to see. This she called the sun. She put a smaller ball of Light in the sky and called it the moon. Finally, she shook out the last drops of Light across the sky, and these she called the stars.

Grandmother Spider taught the sun, moon and stars to move in right rhythm so there would be day and night, light and dark.

“Because,” she said, “we need them both. It is in the darkness that we are prepared to carry the Light.”

How have you been prepared? What darkness are you walking through? What light do you carry?

Years ago, before I understood the nature of writer’s resistance, I thought I should be able to log hours and hours of writing during holidays and vacations. Of course, I never lived up to those expectations, which increased my resistance along with my self-doubt.

One of the watershed moments that helped me transition from frustrated wanna-be to professional writer was recognizing that writing is something I need to make time for every weekday, aka every workday. Writing would no longer be something I’d try – and fail – to squeeze in and therefore feel guilty about never doing enough of.

(Note: Professional is not the only alternative to frustrated wanna-be; plenty of writers who wouldn’t consider themselves professional writers are deservedly satisfied with their writing practice. And now that I’m semi-retired, my standard commitment is to show up for Product Time for 15 minutes three times a week.)

“Hobby” writer or pro, you can minimize resistance and potential frustration during your upcoming holidays by clarifying your intentions now.

Holiday Habits: The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself

Hobby writers might find they have more opportunities for writing during the holidays; professionals will almost certainly have fewer. We need to consider this when we make commitments to the three habits of Product Time, Process and Self-care.

For example, this week and next, I’ll be out of my office Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. So I’m committing to two days of Product Time. If you have time off from a non-writing job, you might plan to show up for Product Time on some of those days.

Holidays and vacations typically present opportunities to overindulge, which makes Self-care even more important. What you do for Self-care might vary when you have time off, but it helps to keep some routines intact. For example, I’ll keep my usual commitments to mediation and walking my dog in the next two weeks.

Holidays can also present opportunities for different kinds of Self-care. You might take naps, vary your exercise in an interesting way, meditate while gazing softly at twinkle lights or snow falling, or engage in more social play with games, toys, sledding, skating, skiing, etc.

What you do for Process can also vary over the holidays. You might play creatively when you bake or cook. You might view wrapping presents or decorating as creative play. With foresight, you’ll give, and with luck, you’ll receive presents that invite creative play.

I’ve challenged myself to a target of discovering new ways to play for Process in the next two weeks. At the same time, I’ve reduced my commitment to Process to three days this week and next.

Targets Beyond Commitments

A commitment is a promise you honor no matter what; a target is a stretch-goal that would be great to reach, but it’s okay if you don’t.

Commitments are best evaluated by time – did you show up for the number of minutes and the number of times you said you would? Targets are best applied when you can’t accurately predict outcomes – how many words can you draft in a day or a week or month, when you will finish a chapter, essay or poem.

I encourage you to be expansive with your targets – see how far you can stretch. And I caution you to be careful about what you commit yourself to – failing to honor a commitment has long-term costs.

If you’re a hobby writer, the upcoming weeks might a good time to set ambitious targets. If you’re a professional writer, this is probably a good time to scale back your targets.

I recommend both hobbyists and pros reduce your commitments in the next two weeks. Consider the difference between how you’ll feel if you commit to two days of 15 minutes of Product Time or Process and show up for the fifteen minutes two times and how you’ll feel if you commit to five days of fifteen minutes of Product Time or Process and show up for two. The same behavior (showing up for fifteen minutes on two days) can cause vastly different levels of satisfaction depending on what you committed yourself to.

Get Clear

What are your targets for Product Time, Process and Self-care this week? Write them down, have fun experimenting and enjoy the outcomes whatever they are.

What are your commitments for Product Time, Process and Self-care this week? Write those down and honor them no matter what. And because you’re going to honor them no matter what, make your commitments small and unquestionably do-able.

You need to write what only you can write. Of course other people write the same kinds of things you write, but your unique perspective means no one else can write a piece the way you will. Your voice matters.

Even in the best of times, we need to practice Self-care to keep our creative brain at optimum. Now, in the time of pandemic, it is impossible to reclaim and sustain our mental, physical and emotional well-being without paying conscious and regular attention to caring for ourselves.

If the concept of Self-care is new to you, you’ll find comprehensive information in Chapter 4 of Around the Writer’s Block and in the slew of posts I’ve written (Self-care summary and links to the slew).

Even those of us familiar with the concept need a reminder from time to time.

I just read a post that reminded me of the need to challenge my brain, then reviewed pretty much everything I would write to remind you — so instead of reinventing the proverbial wheel…

I’ll send you to the article itself: 30 Days to a Smarter Brain.

This is not only a brilliant idea, it’s a creative win-win. You get excellent suggestions (based on brain research) to keep yourself at your creative best so you can keep writing what only you can write and I’m back to playing with and working on my novel, which only I can write.

Back when the pandemic first started, I heard something on the radio that grabbed my attention. Despite my best efforts, I haven’t been able to identify the radio program or the research mentioned, so I can’t say how valid this information is, but if it’s true, it’s great news for us.

Apparently, there is evidence that behavior changes made during an external crisis tend to be “stickier.” Even a small improvement we make to our writing practice now, will probably have a greater impact and last longer than changes we made BP (Before Pandemic).

Yes, our lives are sideways, if not completely upside-down. Yes, our routines have been stretched, twisted, shredded and sometimes flushed like a dead goldfish. Yes, our best response to be kind to ourselves and others and to refuse to entertain guilt.

Yes, my writing practice wobbled when the pandemic started. Maybe yours did, too. If the research is correct, recovering our practice now while the pandemic lingers and we’re all trying to find our new normal will make our writing habits stronger than ever.

From Scraps to Anchor

It’s okay if we struggled with our writing, if we couldn’t find the words or couldn’t focus our attention. This was and still is our first pandemic. We’re all learning.

If we can hold on to even a scrap of a writing habit now, it will be a solid anchor when we come out of this. Just 5 or 10 minutes of showing up can pay off for years to come.

Those of us who had writing routine BP will have an easier time finding our way back. Even if you didn’t have much of a writing habit, you can apply what you learned from building another habit. I’m confident you had at least one habit — you did brush your teeth BP, right? (watch more)

What Matters

It doesn’t matter whether you restore a writing habit or create a new one.

It doesn’t matter whether you focus on one of the three habits I recommend (Process, Self-care and Product Time) or some other writing-related habit.

It doesn’t matter what days or what time you show up. If you like the comfort of showing up on the same day and time, that’s great. If you prefer the freedom of choosing the day and time as you go, that’s great, too.

What matters, especially now, is that you make a small commitment.

Keep It Small

My usual commitment in semi-retirement is to show up for Product Time for 15 minutes, two times a week, unless we’re traveling or having guests when I commit to zero minutes a week. I usually show up on three to five days and do something writing-related for anywhere from 15 minutes to a couple of hours.

Why a small commitment? Here are ten reasons, but the short answer is because you can consistently honor a small commitment.

Setting yourself up for potential failure is counter productive. Set the bar so low, you can’t help but walk over it. If you practice your habit more than than you commit to, that’s great.

Why “do something writing-related” instead of “write”? One answer is that what Product Time looks like varies depending on what stage of the creative process you’re in (read more).

We’re using the time of pandemic to restore or reinforce a habit, so it doesn’t matter what you do. That you show up when you say will is all that matters.

The ideas bouncing around in my brain are all loosely related to writers, resistance and pandemic, but I don’t have what it takes to write and edit a comprehensive, cohesive piece.

So, instead of a complete and balanced writer’s meal, I offer you a variety of appetizers for your writer’s palate.

Tidbit #1 Goals, Smaols

I trust you got the message that this whole pandemic is anxiety-producing for everyone. Even those of us blessed to have more time available need to scale back expectations. Now just isn’t the time to set audacious goals.

There is absolutely no reason to feel disappointed or defeated if your writing practice isn’t exactly what it used to be or what you want it to be.

The best route to getting where you want to go is to relax, be kind to yourself and others, practice excellent Self-care, and keep showing up for your writing as you can and as you are.

Tidbit #2 Remember Your Memory Is Impaired… What Was that about My Memory?

Stress impairs memory. When individual stress is compounded by everyone else on the planet being simultaneously stressed, memory is imperfect at best.

The best thing to forget is perfectionism. Other than that, you need reminders now more than ever.

This is why I watch Governor Andrew Cuomo’s press briefing nearly every day even though I don’t live in New York. Some of the information is new; much is a reminder of what he said before.

I need Cuomo’s reminders about why it is essential to follow the facts, not feelings. I need repeated messages about when and how to safely re-engage the economy and my role in it. I appreciate the reinforcement of hearing how many lives we’ve already saved. All that reminds me why it matters that I keep wearing my mask and maintain physical distancing.

Tidbit #3 Writers Are Unique in the Same Ways

At this time, it’s particularly valuable for us to remember that we are part of a tribe of writers. Even writers you’ve never met can understand you in ways your non-writing family and friends simply don’t get.

In addition to a local writer’s group, we have the tools to support and lean on writers around the world through our writing. Even in a time of social distancing, we can reach out and discover new tribe members.

Seeking other writers’ insights, I searched “Covid” on LitHub.com and found too many gems to list. Two that grabbed me are:

Under a Sky Fall Full of Stars

The Joys and Worries of 20 Writers During Covid-19

And here are two more stand-out sources of comfort and inspiration I’ve found lately:

It’s not just you! Everyone is struggling to focus, even professors (read more)

Let go of guilt! Nita Sweeny explains why writing is hard (read more)

A friend asked, “How are you?”

It wasn’t a perfunctory greeting; it was a genuine question. I hesitated. I didn’t really know how I was.

I didn’t know if I wanted to know.

So I said, “I’m fine.”

I am nowhere near fine, except in the sense of the R.E.M. lyric:

It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

The global pandemic will change the world, hopefully for the better, but potentially for the worse. We are all being changed and challenged. We’re all scared, sometimes terrified, sometimes angry and frustrated, sometimes despairing and despondent. We don’t know what to do with so many emotions and we haven’t had time to work through it all.

What I’ve done so far is roll all that emotion up, stuffed it into “fine” and tried to pretend it’s not there. The problem with ignoring a big ball of “Fine stuffed with uncomfortable emotions” is that leaves us in a nearly constant state of low to medium anxiety.

This anxiety makes it impossible to enjoy all that we could enjoy. Yes, we’re scared and angry, but we’re also grateful, delighted, amused, enthralled. I suspect we’d find more to be grateful for, amused by and enthralled with if we weren’t rolling in a fog of anxiety.

And of course, it’s pretty much impossible to write from a fog of anxiety, which is particularly grievous for those of us who write for a living and/or find comfort and insight in writing.

Into the Fog

We’re stressed like never before. Even when we think we’re coping (aka “Fine”), the unrelenting uncertainty of this pandemic keeps us stuck in a stress response.

Remember the difference between the cortex and the limbic system? (If you’re new to my blog, you might to read Chapter 2 of Around the Writer’s Block or this Brain Basics post.)

The cortex is our logical, rational, creative brain. It is the source of executive functions like evaluating data, anticipating and planning for the future, exploring creative possibilities, consciously observing and motivating ourselves and others, and making strategic decisions.

The limbic system processes sensory experiences and gives emotional significance to the sensory information it sends to the cortex. It’s faster and more focused on survival instincts than the cortex and the primary driver of the instinctual freeze-fight-or-flight stress response. Because the stress response triggers a series of physiological changes — maximizes our physical strength and endurance, makes our responses faster and our vision sharper (read more) — it is exactly what we need in emergencies.

But the pandemic is not an emergency. 

Emergency: a sudden, serious and dangerous event or situation that needs immediate action  – OALD

The pandemic is and will continue to be an ongoing, unfolding, changing dangerous situation that requires some immediate action, but will primarily require sound, rational thinking. We need to develop a series of complex, strategic responses and be prepared to modify, improve or replace those responses as the data changes.

That is a job for the cortex, not the limbic brain.

Out of the Fog

According to Joseph LeDoux, once the stress response is triggered, it tends to create “self-perpetuating, vicious cycles of emotional reactivity.” (quoted in Around the Writer’s Block, p 224). The more frequent and long-lasting the stress is, the more reactive we become.

It is, therefore, imperative we learn how to pull ourselves out of the fog and practice those techniques daily.

The primary way to leave the fog and reengage the cortex is to physically relax, which triggers the Relaxation Response. (read more at Brain Basics 2 and Brain Basics 3)

The simplest technique is pay attention to your breathing. Take a slow, deep breath. Hold it for a few seconds, then feel your body relax as you slowly exhale. Repeat for at least ten breaths.

Avoid freaking yourself out. This includes limiting your daily consumption of news. Realistically anticipating the future so you can take reasonable, rational action is what your cortex does. Exaggerating an oncoming apocalypse is what your limbic system does – unless you’re plotting the apocalypse for a novel or screenplay, in which case it’s a creative use of your cortex.

The Kindness Cure for Anxiety

I often encourage writers – in conversations, in my coaching, classes and in my responses to comments here — to be compassionate, gentle and patient with themselves. And I’ve been blessed to have fellow writers and friends remind me to do the same.

I’ve always thought that beating ourselves up is a waste of time we could use to create. Critique of writing can be useful when done well, but harsh criticism of the writer her/him/their self is worse than pointless. It’s the route to writer’s block.

My instincts were more on target than I knew.

As reported by Juli Fraga, a study of 60 British women with eating disorders found that using a self-compassion exercise instead of a self-critical strategy was more effective in reducing the desire to overeat.

The study’s lead author Lucy Serpell, associate professor of clinical psychology at the University College London, reports “It was surprising and promising to find that a brief self-compassion exercise can impact people’s emotions, as well as the amount they ate…When individuals show themselves warmth and compassion, the soothing part of the brain is activated.” (read more)

Apparently, being gentle and kind to ourselves reverses the stress response, at least for women.

There is a lot more research I’m eager to explore on this topic and rather than delay posting this to push myself to do more and better research, I’m going to share the links I have and encourage you to join me in the search.

Let me know what you discover in your reading, your writing and your life.

Sources

Cleveland Clinic, “What Happens to Your Body During the Fight or Flight Response?” from https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-happens-to-your-body-during-the-fight-or-flight-response/  April 23, 2020.

Rosanne Bane, Around the Writer’s Block: Using Brain Science to Solve Writer’s Resistance, 2012, Tarcher/Penguin/Random House, quoting Joseph LeDoux, The Emotional Brain, 1996, Touchstone.

Jill Fraga, “Studies show self-compassion can help curb disorderd eating,” The Washington Post, April 11, 2020, https://tylerpaper.com/studies-show-self-compassion-can-help-curb-disordered-eating/article_d6fed682-7c31-11ea-ab5e-cb3758bd0da5.html

Links for the “Soothing Part of the Brain

https://mi-psych.com.au/your-brains-3-emotion-regulation-systems/

https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/the-emotional-regulation-system/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/emotionally-sensitive/2012/04/self-soothing-calming-the-amgydala/