Wonkie is certain that since South African president Jacob Zuma launched 17737, his Zuma hotline number, the number has been inundated with calls. Judging by the number of protests recently about service delivery or rather its non-delivery, by government it would be interesting to see the statistics of the queries processed and resolved through the hotline.

What the government in South Africa seems to lack is ironically enough exactly what customers expect from business services such as Mr Delivery – solid service level agreements that someone can be held accountable to. Sadly these measures and those accountable for them either seem not to exist or are well hidden in the state bureaucracy. And all this despite the South African taxpayers having to fund a whole new team for Performance Management and Evaluation in The Presidency headed by Minister Collins Chabane.

The strategy of denial that problems exist, or acknowledging them and then doing practically nothing significant about them seems to be the only definite policy in place in government for the moment – particularly to address major public concerns such as service delivery, HIV, job creation and crime in South Africa. This strategy has resulted in numerous protests such as the residents of Parys, a town situated on the banks of the Vaal River which had furious residents dumping their uncollected garbage outside the town’s municipal hall. It is also no surprise that there is serious violence accompanying some of the recent protests in townships near Balfour and Brits where the problem is significantly more serious.

There are certainly problems in the country and if the government wants to address them, they need to approach solving them in a structured manner. Applying the logic a management consultant would use when similar issues arise in business, government here needs to do the following – and urgently so:

1. Identify the issues and quantify them in measurable terms as best possible.

2. Instead of the Presidency simply blurting out buzzwords like ‘community engagement‘, ‘cooperation‘ and ‘working together‘, the state needs to confirm these measures with local authorities and community residents – get sign-off from all the stakeholders concerned.

3. The state then needs to work jointly with the community to put in place agreed, reasonable targets to resolve the issues in definitive time-frames. It is unreasonable for residents to expect these issues to be resolved overnight and it is equally unreasonable of government not to commit to what will be done and by when.

4. Communicate the targets to all the stakeholders concerned – i.e. not only to those that need to deliver, but also to all residents and citizens that will be affected. Knowing when things are expected to happen with clarity will certainly help diffuse the tension and allow officials to focus on delivery.

5. Execute and actually deliver against the agreed plan (obviously, but worth stating explicitly just in case)

6. Finally, President Zuma needs to act on his threat to remove non-performers based on the delivery against the agreed targets.

These are seemingly simple steps and hopefully The Presidency has a plan in place along similar lines. It would be even better if they actually intend to implement such a plan within Mr Zuma’s lifetime. If not yet, Wonkie is happy to offer its strategy consulting services to help get things going.

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Wonkie tried desperately to make a cartoon about anything other than ANCYL President Julius Malema or the bedside antics of South African President Jacob Zuma. But alas, we failed. Just about every headline over the last week in South Africa revolved around Malema denying, crying, howling, complaining, shouting, whining, whingeing, or threatening about something.

The most recent moronic sequence of events kicked off in full steam last week when he addressed the media at Luthuli House and angrily said that criminals would now target him and his family after media reports about his extravagant lifestyle.

“You come here and make allegations. And you put my child at risk, and my child can be kidnapped because I’ve got R140-million and people will demand R10 million from me because I’ve got R140-million,” said Malema.

Now let’s stop and think for a moment – isn’t that just amazing? Suddenly a prominent figure in South African politics acknowledging that crime is an issue in South Africa, albeit a little sideways. Imagine what would happen if someone like Julius Malema actually becomes a victim of crime. Perhaps the likes of former police boss Jackie Selebi now simmering on corruption charges in his resumed trial, would have taken their jobs a little more seriously if they were directly impacted.

Since then, tales of Julius’s abundant wealth and numerous directorships have been all over the press. Malema insists that his signature has been forged on public records. The It’s all lies defence seems to work really well in South Africa. Still, Wonkie wonders how long before the poor masses that Julius claims to represent so violently realise that Mr Malema is really NOT one of them at all. And that perhaps, just perhaps they should take his rhetoric with a pinch of salt rather than blindly following him into any abyss he chooses to jump into.

The even greater question on Wonkie’s mind is whether the vociferous Mr Malema will actually be held accountable for anything by the ruling ANC party. There are now a few spears headed in Malema’s direction:

– SARS and a lifestyle audit;
– investigations into potentially dodgy government tender proceedings involving Malema’s companies; and the latest spear
– Julius is reported to have been driving without a valid driver’s license since September 2009. In addition to that, he has also racked up a number of unpaid fines for speeding and skipping a red traffic light. All the fines are ironically linked to the single car that Julius has confirmed he owns. After getting caught in one instance travelling 107 km/h in a 60 km/h zone (for which an ordinary human South African would likely be locked up), the nine policemen that had managed to pull Malema off the road were issued letters by traffic chiefs asking them for a written explanation as to why they ill-treated the poor, innocent Mr Malema. Needless to say, it is reported that the mandatory speeding fine was not issued after Mr Malema sought intervention from Limpopo Transport MEC Pinkie Kekana.

BUT SO WHAT?

If consistency is a value of the current government, Wonkie expects Mr Malema will walk off without a speck against his name: the SARS lifestyle audit will be called off – well, just because it’s unconstitutional or something; the tender investigations will be found to be 100% legitimate by his parliamentary peers on the basis that they also engage in similar practices with their own companies so therefore whatever Malema was engaged in was perfectly sound business practice; and the traffic fines and driving with an expired license – that could surely be easily forgiven with a small ‘facilitating payment’ (a la ignored Carte Blanche TV expose), or friendly explanatory phone call to the traffic department.

It would be great to get Wonkie reader’s view on how Julius will fare against this latest wave of victimisation against him (if you are unable to vote below, please Click HERE to reload the poll):

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

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South African finance minister Pravin Gordhan hinted at conducting lifestyle-based audits during his 2010 budget speech last week. Wonkie would be seriously surprised if South Africa’s very own poor little rich man, Julius Malema escapes such an audit.

Reports in The Star South African newspaper last week indicated that Malema who is reported to earn something like R20,000 (US$ 2,600) per month has net assets amounting to the millions. His direct or indirect acquisitions include a couple of multi-million Rand homes which he is reported to have paid for in cash, some luxury cars and even a watch worth over R200,000. For someone still in his twenties, that is certainly not a bad return on investment – stand aside Berkshire Hathaway.

Wonkie believes that if Julius Malema has honestly acquired his wealth, he would be of greater service to the South African masses and indeed the world, if he taught a few (state-funded) courses on prudent financial management, picking winning investments, and effectively “managing” the tender process in developing countries.

In true Malema style when asked about his involvement in SGL Engineering Projects and its subsidiaries (of which he is allegedly a co-owner), and the string of tenders awarded to them from cash-strapped Limpopo municipalities, Malema replied: “What gives you the power to ask me that question? Let me tell you, I do not owe you any answer, to be honest. I am not accountable to you … I am accountable to the ANCYL and ANC. My organisations have never raised any concerns about those things.” By all indications he is quite correct – Malema certainly does not seem to be held accountable for anything by anybody in the ANC or ANCYL.

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South African Finance Minister Pravin Gordhan delivered his first budget speech yesterday. It is no wonder that the man who turned the South African Revenue Services (SARS) around commanded significantly more praise than the lack-lustre efforts of President Jacob Zuma in his State of the Nation address a week ago.

Mr Gordhan’s focus is clearly on establishing credible monetary policy and reducing unemployment. While it could quite easily be argued that the economic stability during Trevor Manuel’s tenure is more a result of pure luck than of any amazing policy decisions, Mr Gordhan will not be so fortunate. He is taking the helm at a time of real economic crisis both locally and internationally. Solid, educated decisions will need to be made to mitigate the impacts on all South Africans and Mr Gordhan has given every indication that he is the man to do just that.

Education was accurately reflected through the budget as being a top priority for government. Total spend in the area has increased to R165Bn out of a total of R906Bn (just over 18% of the budget).

The focus on job creation also came through with a number of initiatives being tabled for encouraging employers to take on youth, particularly those without significant work experience.

South African consumers are likely to feel the pinch with increased sin tax (on the likes of cigarettes, alcohol and potentially gambling). Anti-smoking activist groups were complaining that the increase in cigarette taxes were not enough – in Europe, almost 80% of the cost of a pack of smokes is tax. Consumers will also not be happy with the sizeable increase in fuel tax (25.5c per litre from 7 April 2010).

All in all though, the budget is structured to benefit the lower income groups. Wonkie believes there is still plenty more room to tax the new South African rich class that have benefited from Black Economic Empowerment (BEE) programmes. Given BEE in its current form is largely an additional tax on South African society, the government would just be taking back some income which was rightfully theirs in the first place. Wonkie would certainly feel more comfortable with Mr Gordhan redistributing the wealth to those groups in South Africa that really need it.

For those of you who are interested, you can find the full text of the 2010 Budget speech here.

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If you’re living in South Africa and haven’t heard Jacob Zuma singing his controversial Umshini Wami song (Bring me my machine gun) you have missed quite an amazing spectacle. As this is mostly an English language blog, Wonkie would like to convey the meaning of KHAWULETH UMDZIDZI WAMI – the latest remix version of the song for the 2010 national speech. Wonkie thought Bring me my Buttocks is possibly a much more appropriate anthem for President Zuma given his recent headlines in the news.

Wonkie decided to deliberately publish this cartoon before President Zuma’s actual State of the Nation address that will happen later this evening. Over the last few weeks, President Zuma’s inappropriate behaviour has clouded other more important issues that the country is facing: unemployment; soaring crime; corruption; HIV/ AIDS; the rise of xenophobic violence once again; riots because of little improvement in service delivery in many areas – to mention but a few of the issues.

But is the State of the Nation really that bad? Wonkie is interested in your thoughts and views – the only request we make is that each person that comments on today’s post make AT LEAST ONE POSITIVE COMMENT about what’s GOOD in South Africa and what the country is getting right in addition to any other thoughts they might have. If you really can’t find at least one good thing to say then perhaps you really should consider your options.

If you’re interested in some bedtime reading, you can find the full text of the 2010 State of the Nation here.

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The recent set of Wonkie Winners are:

Ribie Sebe…… Malemodoku Wonkie T-Shirt winner
Cyah…………. Malemodoku runner up prize winner
Nick Park…….. Malemodoku runner up prize winner
Kadudu………. Grasshopper and Dog photo caption contest winner
JJMac………… for submitting the 4000th comment on Wonkie CartOOns!

The next big prize will be an MP3 player through a random draw across all verified email subscribers on 30 April 2010. Click this link if you haven’t signed up for the 100% free Wonkie CartOOns by email.

As for a brief update – Wonkie CartOOns has grown in its short 16 month life to just over 7,000 email and RSS subscribers and a further 2,300+ fans on facebook. Thank you all for your support and please do keep spreading the word about Wonkie CartOOns to friends and colleagues!

CARTOON FREQUENCY UPDATE: Over the next 6 weeks (until mid-March 2010), the cartoon frequency will be dropping to just once a week as the Wonkie team will be distributed all over the world doing various cool stuff.

South African president Jacob Zuma is in the headlines once again doing what he does best. Mr Zuma has certainly raised awareness around various issues that even former president Nelson Mandela was not been able to highlight with such gravitas during his tenure: corruption in South Africa; scandal; political favours; polygamy; HIV/AIDS and most recently the joys of abundant rumpy-pumpy.

The latest source of media excitement is around Jacob Zuma’s 20th (known) child. The mother of the four-month old child is Sonono Khoza, daughter of respected Orlando Pirates soccer boss Irvin Khoza.

Newspapers around South Africa can’t seem to decide which issue to focus on: the impact Mr Zuma’s behaviour is having on the youth; how the international community is going to perceive the latest news post-Davos; his polygamy and apparent disregard for even the traditional custom associated with the practice; the fact that his latest affair is an extra-marital one; his engaging in unprotected sex in an HIV/AIDS infested country; the fact that he is more concerned about protecting his privacy than Mr Happy. Or perhaps the human-interest news that Mr Zuma has officially paid inhlawulo – damages – to the Khoza family for having a child out of wedlock. Should Wonkie readers feel the need to impregnate one of their Zulu friend’s daughters out of wedlock, the minimum traditional penalty, according to cultural expert Ndela Nelson Ntshangase is equal to the cost of two cattle and one goat.

Mr Zuma demonstrated his firm stance on children’s rights by emphasising that the South African Child Care act and the new Children’s Act protected all children from exploitation. The local constitutional court judges are still out trying to figure out whether Mr Zuma was using the Act to protect his children or defending himself against media exploitation because after all, he is someone’s child too.

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Many in the travel and tourism industry swear on the enormous economic value created by hosting events such as the FIFA Soccer World Cup and the Olympics. Of late, there have been many sceptics that question the long term benefit of driving the present economy and tax payers into dire straits by state funding of such events.

The headline of the Business Times in South Africa last weekend read: Proudly (NOT) South African – an appropriate title given the latest scandal involving a senior ANC member of parliament awarding the Zakumi (the FIFA 2010 mascot) contract to a Chinese sweatshop. Shanghai Fashion Plastic Products and Gifts has deals in place to produce over two million Zakumi toy figurines. Cosatu, a South African trade union federation is not happy about this – particularly given the current recession and government’s promise to pay attention to local job creation.

ANC MP Shiaan-Bin Huang owns Ascendo Industrial in Newcastle, South Africa. 100,000 of these Zakumi figurines are reported to be destined there from the Chinese manufacturer. According to the article in the Sunday Times, more than 500 Chinese workers are each paid R23 (about £2 GBP) a day to make the Zakumi toy figures which retail for approximately R360 (about £30 GBP). Shiaan-Bin Huang acted as Ascendo Industrial’s managing director when he signed the contract with the Chinese manufacturer. At those rates, it’s likely the landed cost of products in South Africa would still be much lower than if they were produced locally. If you consider that tax payers are largely footing the bill for this huge event, surely some degree of protectionist behaviour that benefits the host country is warranted as Cosatu suggests?

Given that Mr Shiaan-Bin Huang serves on the South African parliament’s economic development committee, Wonkie wonders what in this equation does not slap South African tax payers across the face with the phrase CONFLICT OF INTEREST.

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With Micky Arthur leaving the Proteas, Mr Maroga trying to claim some R85 Million for all the hard work he did at Eskom and flooding all over the place in South Africa, Wonkie thinks it’s time for some long overdue Friday Fun! Please enter your funniest, most original caption for the above photo in the comments section below – it does NOT have to do anything with politics so exercise that imagination!

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The funniest, most original caption this week wins a Wonkie CartOOns t-shirt!

The winner will be announced after the contest ends on 5 February 2010… enjoy the weekend and get your entries in now!

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Wonkie regrets to report that it’s true – since the Brangelina getting married cartoon in October 2008 the couple have completely vanished off the radar. For that we can only blame ace South African politician Julius Malema who has been so much more entertaining.

The tabloids are having a field day bashing about mostly unsubstantiated rumours about the Brangelina split up. Wonkie eagerly awaits SABC’s three hour documentary on the Brangelina split up. Rumour has it that this has been approved by Nathi Mthethwa himself as an acceptable broadcast instead of a SABC South African crime expose which he allegedly claimed nobody would really be interested in.

Brangelina was reported to have seen a divorce lawyer to draw up an asset split agreement should the couple separate. Brangelina have lots of money and three biological children: Shiloh, their eldest daughter and twins Knox and Vivienne. They also have 3 adopted children: Maddox, who is of Cambodian descent; Pax, from Vietnam; and Zahara, from Ethiopia.

Wonkie is wondering whether Brad Pitt would consider going out with Jennifer Lopez (J-Lo), even if it’s just for a short time – just so we can see the headlines: BRILLO!

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