Photo two by anat-naor

As a long time migraine sufferer, I have experienced days that are fairly normal and those that would be crossed out from universal existence…given a choice.  The constant motion of my life, the ups and downs remind me of being on a teeter-totter as a child. (I hated it then, too.)  That said, I now understand that the ebb and flow of life, whether you are a chronic pain sufferer or not, is here to stay.  None of us will ever experience the perfect life without challenges, tragedies, and pain.  Some of us are just a little more acquainted with the downward thrust of the cliche kiddie ride.  Migraine has held me back at times but has also made me a stronger, more resilient and compassionate woman.  I understand when someone hurts.  I feel their pain as if it were my own.  This phenomenon is likely due to the fact that I’ve experienced so much of it myself.  In this case, my pain makes me a better human being, a better life coach.

Finding Balance

A child, who wants to ride a real teeter-totter, tries to find another kid who matches his or her size and weight so the experience is fun and safe.  Right?  Who remembers what happens when the other kid is much heavier or much lighter and jumps on the end without much thought?  Yeah, it isn’t pretty.  Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that, just as with the ride, life balance is imperative for us all if we want to have fun, especially for migraine club members.  Whenever I get out of balance and begin to allow the pain and sensitivity to take over, I crash to the ground with extreme force.  But, when I take one day, one hour, at a time (positioning all the players) by not succumbing to my health challenges, something amazing happens…I feel balance.  This is not always easy, but it is possible with practice and by focusing on the middle space between the sky and the ground.  This is a place where joy and peace happens.

Finding balance isn’t necessarily in the big things or events of life, it’s in the small things.  If something brings you negative thoughts and feelings consistently, remove it, if you can.  Our family drinks bottled water, so we always have a couple of cases in our pantry.  For everyone else this storage method works; however, for me, it stinks.  My husband leaves the cases on the floor.  Because of this, I have to bend over to reach the bottles.  Though this simple action is insignificant to most, it can be a migraine trigger for me.  So, one day I decided to stop getting upset about this stupid little thing and take action that would make it go away.  I picked up the case, emptied it out on the shelf, and lined the bottles up for easy access.  Duh!  I know this sounds stupid but, for some reason, I just allowed the situation to continue without doing anything about it.  Why do we do that? Why do I do that? Anyway, it’s resolved now.  That “splinter” in my teeter-totter is no longer able to do physical or emotional harm to me.

Noting Progress

I believe that each of us is responsible for understanding our bodies and our present state of health.  We owe it to ourselves to recognize when our actions, thoughts, and emotions cause both steps forward and backward.  In other words, noting progress (or decline) is important to our sanity and, ultimately, to the successful beating of this disease.  There is no other way to appropriately educate family and friends about where we are with our illness unless we know ourselves.  A simple journal is a great place to jot down facts, feelings, new treatments, pros, cons, and whatever else is helpful for you to keep tabs on your life.  Doctors appreciate this, too!

Cause And Effect

Recently, I changed the way I think about headaches and chronic pain.  Instead of always blaming my body and the “horrible” hand I’ve been dealt, I began to consider that my body is trying to tell me something…something is wrong, that is.  Every living thing on the planet has a built in need to survive.  If that is true, then our beings know when there is imbalance and an invasion of things that don’t belong, and they fight to ensure that life goes on.  The body is powerful and intricate.  It shows us pain because it is fighting for justice and balance.  So, my “why me and why is this happening to me?” became, “what imbalance is causing this pain?” and “what can I do to change it?”.  I don’t always get a definitive answer, but it’s a work in progress.

No matter what, we have the power to live fulfilling and happy lives, if we don’t allow the symptoms of imbalance to take over.  This shift has made more difference to me than any medication, therapy, food plan, or counseling combined.  Bottom line, take your life back by embracing what “is” and allowing your body to communicate in the way it needs to.  It is only then we can truly find health and the life we desire.

Let us know what you  do to stay balanced and productive.  Your comments are SOOO appreciated!

If you enjoyed this article, you will love this:

Why Are So Many Women Getting Migraines?

Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!

My friends, sorry for the lapse between posts.  I’ve been a little preoccupied by some personal medical stuff.  My neurologist is playing racket ball with an MS diagnosis.  Needless to say, I’m a little freaked out.  As if chronic migraine wasn’t enough to deal with…right?  I will keep you posted as I get more information.

I now have new empathy for those of you who suffer from multiple illnesses simultaneously.  I guess I never thought it would happen to me…at least not until I was much older.  I’m not going to tell you that I’m strong or some amazing person who can withstand all of this without emotional trauma, because I would be lying if I did.  Life is not fun right now, and I feel like I’m losing my mind at least ten times a day.  On the bright side, I’m getting qualified to get Botox injections for the chronic migraine.  And we all know what the fringe benefit of that will be…goodbye forehead wrinkles and frown lines!  In the meantime, I continue my natural remedies as I can….unfortunately, they don’t seem to make much of a difference.

Creativity is still flowing.  I have been working on plans to open a small booth at an antique mall in June.  It has kept me distracted from everything else that I really don’t want to think about.  The problem I’m having is that I want to keep all the really good vintage items for myself!  I will do an official post about all of that later.  For now, I’m just happily wallowing in my collection of finds.  I will try to post more often again as I have the energy.

Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!

Sometimes women get into the habit of allowing others (husband, partner, boyfriend, parents) to take care of important matters for them.  So, let this post be a reminder to at least check up on the most crucial tasks.  Responsible women are powerful and live the most successful lives.

1.   Pay your own bills (the ones that are in your name) - Don’t leave this task to your significant other, room mate, best friend, parents, or anyone else unless you are willing to be responsible if it doesn’t get done.  Automatic bank deductions are fine; however, even banks make mistakes.  You should still check your accounts regularly.

3.  Purchase life insurance – This is something that no one wants to think about; nevertheless, it’s one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your family.  Besides, if someone else buys it, they could have a reason to want you dead.  I know…I watch too much CSI.

2.  Wash Your clothes – Shrunken sweaters, pink undergarments that used to be white, your favorite baby-doll T that can now fit your pre-teen.  Do I really need to go on?

4.  Make a will – While we’re on that death subject…don’t avoid it; just do it already.  And, don’t forget to make plans for what would happen to your children should you and your spouse pass away.

5.  Monthly breast exams – Don’t leave this for your doctor to do once a year.  Be proactive.  Early detection of breast cancer can save your life.  Save the boobs!

OK, now for the things that you shouldn’t do yourself.

1.  Go alone to a pet store if any of the following apply: 

a.) You can’t say no to any cute little puppy (or kitty) face. 

b.) Ferrets make you happy.

c.) You always wanted a snake, but your family has repeatedly insisted against such a thing.

2.  Self-Chiropractic – You could really hurt yourself in so many ways.  I stop at popping my fingers and toes.  Leave the rest (your spine and joints) to the professionals.

3.  Remove a wasp, hornet, or bee hive – Hello!  Stupid is as stupid does!    Oh, yeah, don’t ask the man of the house to do it either.  There are actually brave, well-equipped people out there who make a living doing this.

4.  Pick out anything that your teenage daughter will wear – I consider myself a fairly savvy woman with good taste in clothes and I won’t do this…ever.

5.  Throw away anything in the garage that you don’t recognize – They really do have their own sense of organization when it comes to the “I might need that someday” items that look like junk to us.  Hint: If you threaten to clean the garage, he will usually (immediately) respond with “I’ll do it this weekend.”

Well, I hope you enjoyed my hodge-podge of life “should and should nots”.  I’d still like to hear some of yours.

Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!

As much as I really don’t enjoy thinking about negative things, let alone writing about them, I realized how important this post could be for someone (or a few someones) out there.  Hunkered down under my comforter at midnight, I began to ponder exactly what have been the top three hindrances to the success level I desire in any given area of my life.  A little too heavy for pre-sleep, but the thoughts were pushing their way out and not taking NO for an answer.

This is what spilled out onto my nice Ralph Lauren pillow case…

5 Life-Busters To Avoid

1.  Focusing on the negative of situations, events, and people- As humans, we often pick up on what’s “wrong” with something before we look at what’s ultimately good and pure about it.  Why?  Not sure, really.  This could be a media phenomenon, one where we’ve been brain-washed to seek out drama and trauma.  Try focusing on what good is in your life, as well as what you truly want to see happen in the future.  Purify your motives for wanting change.  For example: Don’t seek a new car because you hate your piece-of-crap sitting in the driveway.  The negative emotion you get from thinking about your fugly car will only attract more of the same.  Just saying…

2.  Being ungrateful- This is somewhat related to #1, in the sense that being more attentive to the drabness of life than the goodness of it, tends to keep you in a constant state of want.  It should be mandatory for everyone to spend at least a day in an economically underdeveloped country.  Suddenly, we would all see just how grateful we should be for what we have.

3.  Trying to control everything and everyone- Control freaks don’t usually know or believe they are as such.  This is why it is so difficult to tell someone that he or she is trying to control you.  You usually just get a blank stare or more control mechanisms thrown in your face.  Personally, I realized that letting go of some things makes life SO mush easier.  The fact is: no one can control every aspect of life or that of others nor should he or she try.  Go ahead if you must, but beware of the bad karma coming around the bend.

You (and I) Can Recover

The only way to recover from any of the above life-malfunctions is to change.  Yes, change YOU, change me,  and our way of thinking and reacting to what happens in our lives.  First, we must be aware of our repeat offenses.  And, just because we think we’re thinking positively, doesn’t mean we are.  Negative motivation and fear ambush the best of intentions and the best people.  We need to check our emotions at the doorway of life.  In other words, be aware of what is causing us to feel or think a certain way.  Awareness will open those doors faster than anything else.  And, you and I will delightfully recover from past mistakes.

Tell us one of your favorite tips for overcoming the things that trip up your success.  Or ask the coach a question!

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Have you taken the OneWoman-OneLink Pledge yet?

Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!

Photo #2 by Zechic

There isn’t much anyone can say to comfort someone who is being stalked.  Terror and the fear of the unknown dominate the thoughts of a woman who knows someone is there watching, waiting, and looking for an opportune time to pounce.  The only real relief comes when the perpetrator is stopped by the law or other means.  I’ve said all this to paint a picture of a problem that I believe is just as serious and causes similar negative actions.  I’m talking about  being stalked by your own self-doubt, fear, and negative beliefs.  Please hear me out…

Just like that perv lurking in the bushes, self-defeating ideas and fears destroy your confidence to be yourself.  They demand you to think twice about where you go, what you do, and whom you talk to.  They actually gain control over you the longer they are allowed to roam free in your mind.  If you don’t believe me, think about the last time you really wanted to do something worthwhile (something out of your comfort zone) but managed to talk yourself out of it.  It could have been fear of rejection or poor self-esteem that won in the end, or it could have been someone else on the outside convinced you that your idea was ridiculous.  Either way, you were a victim of a crime.  One that should not have happened.

So, how do you get rid of the stalker?

The first thing you need to do is identify your perpetrator.  What is it that trips you up every time you try to reach for your dream or move forward with self-improvement?  Is it a past event or trauma?  Is it fear of rejection?  Is it lack of self-confidence?  Or, all of the above?  Once you know for sure what is getting in your way, you can begin to process it.  By that I mean to think about how, when, and why this “thing” is disturbing your life.  A part of that processing is journaling your thoughts and even talking about them with someone you trust.

As a life coach, I don’t usually focus on the distant past with clients but more deal with the present and future; however, in this case, there could be significant hindrances to moving forward buried in the years gone by.  Only in these cases do I suggest opening the door to past events and traumas.  That said, I believe that anyone can improve their life by focusing on the present moment and what it is she really wants to accomplish in each area of her life.  I guess the point here is this:  We spend time and effort to ensure our physical safety, where possible violations are concerned.  I mean, you wouldn’t walk around in the worst part of town dressed in skimpy clothing, while flashing a sign that says, please attack me, I’m a good catch!  So, why do we violate ourselves with what I consider a worse infraction- self-doubt.  It’s one thing if outside influences affect our lives and well-being, but when we, ourselves, are the ones doing the damage, it’s unthinkable. The fact is we are paralyzing ourselves and doing it in broad daylight!

What To Do About It: Locating Yourself

Taking back control from past unserving patterns is not easy.  However, it doesn’t require years of therapy, lots of money, electric shock therapy, or reading a 5oo page instruction manual.  No, it’s less complicated than that.  It’s really just about locating yourself and moving forward from there.

And, with that…

You put one foot in front of the other…

As much as I hate to leave you hanging here, I’m going to break this post up into two parts.  In the second part, I will address further how to eliminate these sneaky stalkers in your life.  Until then, be thinking about the things that repeatedly hinder your success.

Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!

Though you may not be a regular JS viewer, you likely know what goes on in just one episode.  Guests are outspoken, immodest, and ooze drama like your sister-in-law’s cousin thrice removed, who has been in the women’s penitentiary for a year.  I’ve found myself watching these ladies with adept curiosity.  I wonder why are they so happy about sharing their faults and, well…disgusting habits on an international stage.  It must be money, I think to myself.  But, really?  Would you do that for cash?  I wouldn’t.  And, that’s precisely why they are stealing from us.

They are women of a strength that so many of us don’t have.  They are happy in their own skin, where we are fearful and prideful that even our own mothers will find out our flaws.  This kind of fear paralyzes and keeps us from receiving abundance from the universe.  We are not meant to be perfect or flawless or unwilling to share who we really are with the world.  We are supposed to embrace who we are.  I’m not saying you have to share every detail of yourselves with the six-o’clock news, but I know you can do better…I can do better.

Just one experience, especially a hard one, a disgusting one, a dramatic encounter we tend to hide, can change someones life.  It would let her know that she is not alone.  She might find refuge and an unexpected solution to her problem from your story.  At the very least, she will learn to appreciate the calm, uneventful life she lives.

I Was A Bad Girl

I’m going to start right here, right now, by sharing something about myself that isn’t very beautiful, creative, or happy.  When I was a teenager, I was a chronic shoplifter.  I couldn’t stop myself.  I stole everything from makeup to clothing.  The fact is: I should have been put in the juvenile detention center, but instead, I never got caught.  However, one of my friends did.  She got arrested, drug away in a squad car, and processed into the community of kiddie-criminals.  I was terrified.  Fortunately, I learned my lesson from watching her go through what was rightfully my lot in life.  Shoplifting became a distant friend of my past.  Though this story isn’t Jerry Springer worthy, it is a part of who I was, who I am today.  And it is an account that I’ve shared with teens to make a point of how this behavior leads to worse things.

For example: 

During that time frame when I shoved lipsticks in my pockets, a friend of a friend asked me to join him and several others in a break in of a hardware store.  I knew it was wrong, but I was thrilled about the adventure aspect of it and the mere thought of getting away with something bigger.  So, I agreed and followed the pack to the store.  Whereas the petty thievery was misdemeanor activity, this would be a felony if I got caught.  Thank heavens, I didn’t.  The fear I felt while wandering around that dark hardware store in the middle of the night was enough to thwart any further criminal behavior.  It could have been bad, though.  Now, I won’t steal anything.  Not even a magazine accidentally left in the cart at the grocery.  Rehabilitated by my own fear and the tragic incarceration of a friend.

Now, it’s your turn…

Fess up, ladies…

Someone needs to read what happened to you…

Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy…by being all of who you are!

When I started this blog three years ago, I had a vision.  I saw a place where I could speak openly about the events, traumas, joys, and successes that women live every day.  And though the collection of articles has grown…and grown over the years to become a versatile information pool for the women of the world, something is still missing.

Recently, I’ve really felt somewhat disheartened by the fact that we haven’t reached the masses as originally hoped.  I know getting attention on the web is not as easy as some would like you to think; therefore, I’m not exactly beating myself up over the limited traffic we’ve seen.  On the contrary, I’m overjoyed by those connections.

But…

I’d like to see more women reached and the content on Women’s Life Link be deeper and more life-changing.  By that I mean I want to talk about the hard stuff!  The gritty topics that most don’t want to share.  The stuff that makes you open up a link when you read the title because it’s exactly what you need to hear, what’s really affected you that day or week!  You know what I’m talking about.  You see, I realized that the REAL stuff women need may not be as accessible as it should be.  Why?  Because it’s personal, even embarrassing to discuss with friends, let alone strangers on the web.  Well, I’m tired of being afraid to share what’s really on my heart.  The “Hard Stuff” needs to be available!  Women’s Life Link will begin a new regular column called “The Hard Stuff” that will not hold back on life’s toughest topics.  It will be controversial, personal, and full of the grit others won’t talk about.  Don’t forget to let a friend know about our upcoming changes!  Here’s a little sneak peak of what you’ll see at the new Women’s LifeLink.

The Hard Stuff Preview:

• When Pride Takes Over

• When Organized Religion Destroys

• When Your Marriage Falls Apart

• When You’re Dying Inside

• When You’re Afraid to Get Old

• When You Want More In the Bedroom

• When You’re Kids Are Hurt By Something You Did

• When You’re Broke…I Mean REALLY Broke

• And much, much more…

I need to know what you think about this. 

What “hard stuff” do you want to read about? 

What things do you have trouble finding on the bookstore shelf or on the net? 

How can Women’s Life Link really help you?

Be Beautiful-Be Creative-Be Happy!

Be a world-changer!

Click Below to learn how.

Take the One Woman-One Link Pledge Today! 

This is sort of a random post that I felt like sharing with you.  As women, we have so many jobs, titles, and responsibilities that fill our days. And, sometimes, those things overtake us to the point we may not ever have the chance to BE the one person we are meant to or do the things we dream of doing.  I know that being a mom, wife, boss, employee, etc. are all valid positions that make us a part of who we are; however, you have to admit, there is so much more to the makings of a beautiful woman.  I want to just point out a few possibilities here with this list of “BE” statements.  Would you join me in sharing your ideas?  Just enter your “BE” suggestion in the comments!

Here we go!

Be Thankful…More Won’t Come Until You Appreciate What You Already Have.

Be Courageous…Everything You Want Is On The Other Side Of FEAR.

Be Funny…We All Have It In Us…

Be The Woman In Red Who Stands OUT.

Be Silly…So What If Your Kid Laughs At You.

Be Beautiful…It’s Defined By The Ability To BE Yourself.

Be Creative…It Changes Things…

Be Happy…No, Really Happy, Disney Fairytale HAPPY.

Be A Star…For Yourself.

Be The First In Line…It’s Not Overrated.

Be On Time…To Your Life.

Be A Dream Maker…Make Yours Come True.

Be Authentic…Save The Mask For The Masquerade Party.

Be What You Want To BE…Who You Want To BE…Where You Want To BE.

Be The One Who Believes The Best In People.

Gallery Photo Credit

White, by Genabubbles

OK, now it’s your turn, beautiful ladies! Make those comments shine!