Who is Afternoon?

My experience in Australia part 1 : Not yet in Australia

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 02:38:00 +0000

I packed my bags and began marking my checklist to make sure I did not miss anything. 1 year old toothbrush? check. Pirated anime DVDs? check. 3 for 10 el cheapo underwears? check. 'Did I miss anything? Anything else I should bring along?' those thoughts circled my mind. The perfectionist within told me that there is still empty space in that luggage of mine and it must be utilized. I figured more anime is vital to my survival so I had those stashed in. Back then, survival is a matter of killing time without lifting a finger, hence emotional yet very abstract animations like Lain and Technolyze presented itself as the perfect solution. Most of my peers, who were "too cool for school" condemned anime, therefore effectively condemning me too in the process. How could they? Little did they know that with a keen eye and an investigative mind, so much could be felt and experienced just by watching anime.

With physical packing done, I move torwards my laptop and gave life to it with a flick on the power switch. Then I began yet another checklist. 'Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 installed? excellent' I mumbled. 'Final Fantasy 7 and 8 is in, good. Too bad I'll have to sacrifice Final Fantasy 9' I sighted as each of them were a fascinating game itself, the highest calibre of interactive materials. Moving on, I clicked the option "show all hidden files and folders". In a way, the next checklist was equally as important for survival as animes can be. It also involves killing time but now you'll be using your fingers. All 5 to be exact.

Pleased with my collection of Sky Angel series and also the many great flicks of Rika Nakamura preloaded, I packed my laptop into the backpack and locked up my luggage. 'This is it' I thought. I shiverred as feelings of nervousness and excitement spiked up my spine, it may have originated from my butt. I am about to embark on a brand new journey, one that I have never attempted before. Living the life in Australia. The adventures, a brand new playground, and new people to mingle with. Of course I did not discount the possibilities of getting laid while pissed drunk, infact that was my top fantasy for this journey. Never would I have imagined that somehow it.....

It never happened.

Snippets

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Tue, 05 May 2009 10:37:00 +0000

Did you notice? The clouds in Malaysia are aplenty hence the reason we have little to no stars to enjoy at night. During the afternoon however, the clouds move ever so slightly. Like giantic snails floating above the sky.

7-11 has its own bakery but no bread yet. At least you have the promise that their bakery is freshly baked. Knowing the operation hours of 7-11, I doubt the "freshness" of their bread.

Take time off, relax and enjoy. Soft tissue paper is essential for comfort. Magazine with hot babes and gossip news that is irrelevant to your life. Estasy shitting session ensures.

Fat and ugly dude relaxing touching is his leg as if its a piano. Has two schoolgirls hanging out with him.... hmmmm girlfriends? Unlikely.

Kindori Kimochi

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Fri, 01 May 2009 21:20:00 +0000

Anyone heard of Kindori? I take a firm stand that their ice cream will excite your tastebuds and leaves you with a very kimochi experience. Established by our Minister of Health(please google if you don't know who is our MOH), Kindori only has one branch located at the 3rd floor of Berjaya Times Square. If you know where is the entrance of the 3rd floor cinema, you won't miss this.

So what differentiates this ice cream parlour from the rest of the competition? For starters they use fresh-milk(I think low fat milk) as a base for the ice cream. The next ingredient is frozen fruits which they claim to have retained its freshness for the flavour of your choice. Sounds cool so far but get this, they blend the ice cream right infront of you.

Here are the cheerful employees in Kindori. No matter what language you converse with them, if you're chinese they will reply you in mandarin only. Nothing fatal I guess, but most of the time there is three to four workers. I'm not sure if the headcount matches with the size of the small parlour. There is definitely room for cost reduction here.... owh shit my business mind is suddenly turned on. Excuse me.

Here you can see the fruits on display. From the looks of it, they are certainly frozen. Hard as a rock. Look at the hand, good hygiene practice there. You're not going to get any fist hair on your ice cream. Hooray! for that.

If you order strawberry, they'll pick about four pieces for your serving.

At RM8.90 per serving, I suppose its balanced in terms of value vs taste/uniqueness. What you see here is the whole package. The ice cream is of adequate proportion, nothing too generous there though.

The flavours I have tried are strawberry, mango and grape so far. My recommendation only goes to the first two. Grape tastes like rotten mash potatoes mixed with yam. Maybe someone farted when I tried grape. I'm not too sure.

Seating wise they offer you two choices. This is the barstool as you can see. Squeaky and a wee bit too bouncy for my butt. I suppose if you wanted to check out the crowd(chicks), this is where you should place your ass. If yours is an enormous one then don't bother because the stool is curved in a weird way and you might just slip off. Its like sitting on a big soap.

The sofa is cool. Position yourself there if you want to appear laid-back and just chillout with your cute ice cream.

There you have it folks. Kindori Ice Cream is tantalizing, fully approved by my standards. Only issue is with the employees in terms of language prowess and the stools.

The Ad-less blog

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 19:24:00 +0000

I used to have ads in my blog. Once upon a time I dreamt that the blog fairy visited me. She(a little fat lady with wings) told me that I should have ads in my blog, and with enough visitors daily I could be jobless and buy a house with the ad revenue alone. To give me a good start, she sprinkled some magical dust on my computer and said that it will attract thousands of hungry readers to my fruitful blog.

Then I wake up to reality. Google analytics report zero visitors on my blog for months. What a wonderful beginning...

The first I tried was Google Adsense. Besides pitching ads that has nothing to do with my blog, those text links are rather mundane to look at. Sometimes when I go blog surfing, I'm amazed as my eyeballs get stabbed non-stop by Adsense. It seems the trend lately is to plaster text ads in the middle of your post, cleverly camoflaged in terms to size and color. Actually as far as Adsense goes, the real trend is to paste them anywhere you can. For example...

- Below site banner
- Beside site banner
- As the site banner (!!!)
- Before a post
- In the middle of a post (I find this very retarded and irritating)
- After a post
- At the left sidebar
- At the right sidebar
- End of the page

I am going to vomit my heart out and ejaculate my soul if I catch anymore blogs overflowing with Adsense goodness.

Nuffnang was the next one I gave a shot at. Their ads ooze coolness and it actually does make your blog look lively. Only problem with them is most of the time I am presented with a...

Nugget. I registered for the purpose of having nice graphics spice up my dull sidebar. Probably my blog does not have enough visitors to serve ads yet. So I just dropped the code from my site since I wanted smashing graphics(read:intresting ads) and not a nugget most of the time. Simple as that.

So there you have it dear readers, the reason why there are no ads in whoisafternoon. Nothing to distract your reading or sore your eyes. My awful posts is bad enough.

* I'm not saying this blog will be ad-free forever. Who knows I'll throw in some nice, non-intrusive ads in the far far future...

Rage against the machines

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 09:25:00 +0000

In my years of experience with computers I must say this is the most mind boggling error message that I have encountered. From what I can decipher, the fan is out of control. Well I can accept that, this is cheap stuff after all.

"Your CPU Fan may control by itself!"

I don't quite follow. First its out of control and now it MAY(very vague...) control itself?

Then I have to hit enter to exit. Who the hell designed this shit? Can't I hit the escape key to exit? That would make more sense to me.

Exotic sushi pleasures

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 09:32:00 +0000

Ohaiyo gozaimase! You there. Yes you sir. May I interest your stomach with a good meal of sushi-sushi? Ahhh sorry for the interruption on your shopping walking. My name is Miyagi. Uncle Miyagi. Since I sense a very intimate bond with you my dear customer, please address me as Miyagi-chan.

Come please come. Look at the flowers and white rocks. Savour its beauty with your eyeballs. This is your gateway to a whole new realm. A journey so wonderful, like movie Chronicles o' Narnia. Can you feel the warmth emitting from the inside sir? Yes... very kimochi. Owh, watch your step sir.

Big battle station and our fine samurai warriors sir. They fight many hours to bring you well sliced maki. Do not be frightened by serious face and sweating forehead, it is because of dedication. See hand washing? It is our very proud policy to have hands washed every minute. Your soba will be bacteria-less and virus-less.

Him? What about him? Let us proceed to better matters sir. He is just lowly dishwasher. No sword for him.

Notice besides hard labour we also employ hardy machines to do our work. Ah ha! The wasabi bucket has arrived, in time too. You are fated to dine here it seems.

Let us begin with the appetizer. Tender eggs and fake crab meat maki. A light and refreshing start for a meal.

Next we deliver maki with generous proportions of raw delightful salmon. Think of them as "happy" salmon. Do remember sir, these salmon are fresh. You are like a canadian bear now, eating live salmon at the waterfalls.

More salmon, but we offer you vegetables and real crab meat in the middle. This is to let you honor the taste of real crab when you compare it to the fake one earlier. Also some crab eggs on top for decoration... no worries they are harmless and are actually quite tasty. Yes, you can eat the eggs sir. Domo... domo...

Allow me to pamper your tastebuds with the legendary eel meat that is UNAGI. Good for vitality and fabled to enchance man strong-ness when consumed. I am living proof of that sir hehehe. Anyways mixed with loving eggs, this is a fusion of the rising sun with local delicacy named "nasi kerabu".

I see you have acquired a taste for unagi? A fine passion sir but the previous dish was just a teaser meant to tickle your curiousity. I now reward you enormous slices of unagi, with rice wrapped around kawaii eggs and soft cucumbers.

The finale arrives, are you ready? Grilled spider sushi. Just kidding sir. This is a soft shell crab. Excuse the cruelty in this dish, the orange eggs are from the same crab too. In my experience, many shy away from such a dish as you will be chewing on the kani's organs too. Not you sir, no you are bold and worthy of our restaurant's hall of fame. Our staff and I bow down to your glory.

Now for the bill sir...

Gaming trends

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:16:00 +0000

Tiger Woods. Mozart. Beethoven. What do they have in common? Yes they're all child prodigies. How about professional gaming?

Babies. Roughly 7 to 8 years old only. Don't be fooled by the innocence, both of them have fine-tuned precision and killer instincts. Guess what game they're playing?

Here is a shot of the little brother commanding(shouting at) his sister on what to do next. Demonstration of leadership skills.

As you have witnessed, kids are ripping in cyber cafes. But what about those dark and dim arcades?

Mmmmm long hair, short skirt, nice legs and high heels. Where do you get em'? In arcades of course...

Time crisis player here. More pro than her boyfriend is. No shoes for optimum reload/dodge. Muscular legs because of the training I guess.

Spicy fly

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 08:59:00 +0000

Like any other food blogger, my passion is in devouring good food too. Apparently all this while other species have been sharing the same hobby as we have. Small and stealthy, when you're not looking they will eat right out of your platter. See these son of a bitches? They're on my hot sauce. A scenario I cannot bring myself to comprehend.

Now before you think this is just normal chilli and tell me that flies suck on almost anything, the hot sauce here is foul and tasteless. Only thing you'll experience is hell on your tougue. Followed by a red face and tears of unhappiness of course. Not forgetting to mention, such a torment lasts up to an hour.

Seems like they are immune to such earthly suffering. Looks like a happy family sucking on the hot sauce. I hope moments later they will fly away and die of indigestion.

Partially related to this post, has anyone tried the above combination? Crazy experience there. Chew on your favour spicy food(or help yourself to a raw piece of chilli) and then have a big gulp of coke. Instead of swallowing, let it sit in your mouth for a minute.

WTF seriously? : Bollywood Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 07:43:00 +0000

Cheaply recruited red henchmen do not stand a chance against a retarded sword wielding motherfucker.

Award winning clip. Learn to OWN people in style.

A man so damn ugly that a bullet does not want to kill him.

Lol at the cat

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:11:00 +0000

Oh hello there! My name is Asshole cat. Of course that is not my real name. Silly human give me that. So far humans are very weird, they will dance infront of me naked right after a shower, or say funny language where I fail to understand. Stupid. With so much idiocracy going around the household, all that is left for me to do is to...

Sleep on their beds...

ZZzzzzz....

Snores... mumble mumble lol talk.. ZZzzz

Like humans, hours later I wake up shit-faced.

Then I ponder over the dream I've just had...

I dreamt of zombies... they went like this "Grrrrr arghhhhgahhhh"

It was scary.... :(

Some updates

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 02:56:00 +0000

Dear readers from all walks of life,

I have not updated my blog for quite some time as you can see. I hope you can understand when I say lately I have been busy due to the amount of money I am receiving. You see, yours truly is now living the good life. How is this possible? Tsk tsk tsk.... if only you would pay attention more to your spam inbox, then you can be like me today. A multi-millionaire without effort.

How did such a miracle occur? It all started when Mrs. Tina Akira contacted me out of the blue...

As you can see from above, I won Yahoo! International Lottery. And I didn't even enlist myself for it. There is such thing as free lunch after all I've been through. Although skeptical at first, AmWay taught me to have a positive outlook in life and I should work on all leads possible. Thinking of the best case scenario, I was overwhelmed with joy and rolled around the floor with glee. Was restless for nights due to the excitement of....

Owh shit I think I have just wet my Renoma underwear and in the process, also smeared it with my released turd of triumph. The cows sing till the heaven orgasm with rain, now refreshing my body as I embrace the cum of nature wholeheartedly. I ran naked through the green fields, skipping about and dancing, happily praising lady luck for her generous blessings. I thought to myself, I would consider bestowing her with a nice session of cunnilingus.

My kind ritual must have touched her in ways no other mortal could as...

I win another million from the same lottery. The same slot. I am on a roll here guys. Moments like these make me want to walk out of my house and call everyone "bitch". Because now with two million USD I'm starting to feel like I'm the pimp of the world, capable of laying the smackdown on tough guys and spanking some hot booties. Boo yah!

I celebrated my luck high and low,
for 2 consecutive wins, in a row,
how do I spend it? I don't know,
when tears of joy, started to flow.....

AGAIN???

Seriously??

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 05:50:00 +0000

I was reading Kenny Sia's post on the Apple iPhone finally landing in Malaysia. Then on the comments section I noticed the following...

I don't even use more than RM30 per month for phone calls, SMSes and WAP/GPRS internet browsing combined. Hence the reason I'm still on prepaid. By the end of each month its entertaining to see that I have a meager RM4~5 balance left on my prepaid account.

Alas!

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 19:26:00 +0000

Finally figured out how to create and use CNAME records with my domain registra. Now www.whoisafternoon.com is officially... official.

Review : Punisher Warzone

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:26:00 +0000

This is a review of Punisher Warzone(actually its more like a pictorial story) using hokkien & broken english. Beware, spoilers ahead.
-----------------------------------------
Frank Castle is the Punisher, hunting lots of high ranking mobsters. He not done yet from Punisher part 1. Still long way to go.

So he go shoot some people when they are eating. They all kanna. But I think this is very rude.

Then he go shoot people hiding in old factory. Shoot shoot shoot, aiyak! shot a field undercover agent. Jialat already.

Then, one guy he try to kill but the young triad boss very lucky. He not die. He survive. He live with face like jigsaw now. Hence the name Jigsaw.

Also to add more spicy, police know he kill field agent accident. They just know. So Frank tulan because black policeman very angry. He also got Jigsaw want to tear his ass. Frank very more tulan. Who ask him go shoot shoot everyone accept the big boss? He stupid himself.

Behind Punisher, Jigsaw go find his brother in hospital of stupid people. Crazy brother but look normal only. Is recruit to kill Frank.

Back to Frank, he very tired. Told fatman he want to quit liao. Say want to run far far away. Fatman tell him to be like batman. Don't run! Endure. You can be what ever gotham wants you to be. Frank is sporty, so he agree.

The mob go find leftover family of dead field agent. The one kannasai by trigger happy Punisher. Family become hostage because want to lure Frank. Also because mob looking for USD200k. They see see all the drawers also don't have. Very stressful. I think drawer cannot find USD200k. Very hard to fit all in. In the end the house bo lui one.

Frank walk in the house, ask them go jiak sai then shoot all the small small mobsters to hell. He take both wife and little girl to his dungeon. After play play with little girl, he break down because remind him of past. So romantic...

Meanwhile, Jigsaw and brother walk around find people. They successful brainwash black, chinese also irish gangsters to join. Jigsaw's brother also go capture back the wife and little girl. How come so easy? Is because Frank go out for a walk walk. Jialat again...

Black policeman not happy so he go find English triads. He recruit them to find balance in war. This picture is the godfather.

The war going to start. Frank, black angry policeman and stupid funny policeman pose and say something cool. The war is Jigsaw + black/chinese/irish mob VS Punisher + English mob. This is politics gone wild.

So Frank run into big building and spray bullet everywhere. Spray until Jigsaw's brother come out to embrace Punisher. This is 2nd last boss fight. Jigsaw's brother go bite Frank here there, do some karate. Look angry picture. You know what happen next for bad guy.

Later Frank and Jigsaw hug and hold hand. Ha ha ha joking. Frank break Jigsaw's arm, leg, backbone twice, and rib. I think should be very painful. Then Frank stab Jigsaw with a long metal stick and fire him alive. BBQ style.

So Frank now save wife of dead agent and little girl already. They all say bye bye. But wife and little girl suddenly belong to black angry policeman. Wah sai, how come I don't know one?

The End.

Review : Samsung S2 Pebble

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 07:38:00 +0000

Got a lucky draw prize at the FHM Girls Next Door finals. When Rudy(hitz.fm) announced my name, I crawled up to the stage totally pissed drunk and not knowing what on earth is going on. The organiser handed me the letter with a platonic smile on his face. I didn't even care to shake his hand and walked off. A Good start.

So weeks later I was supposed to go to MediaCorp located at AmCorp Mall and collect my "prize". On the letter it is written that I have won a Samsung gadget worth RM500. For RM500 you can get a pretty good slider phone equipped with a 3.2 Auto-Focus megapixies camera. So as you can imagine, I was ecstatic in the beginning.

Guess what I received? A measly Samsung S2 Pebble mp3 player. Only 1GB storage available. Worth RM fucking 80. So nice.... and I do not have choice over color. Green is what they have left. Must be a hot item.

Thank you MediaCorp & Samsung. I will review your "gadget worth RM500" now.

Whats in the package? Lets have a look.

1x Manual booklet
1x Samsung S2 Pebble 1GB
1x Tutorial booklet on how to use Emodio, their own version of iTunes
1x Warranty card
1x Mini CD for drivers and software installation
1x Earphone
1x Audio to USB

Software

About the drivers and software provided, I did not bother to even install it. It is an insult to feed my DVD Writer with a lousy mini CD. So I have no comments on their song management software. I already have Windows Media Player and iTunes, not about to dirty my computer with another installation. As far as I'm concerned, copy and paste files via Windows is good enough to transfer music.

Audio

The earphones provided is great(not greatest!) in terms of audio quality, clarity and has good bass. Compare this with the standard earphones provided in the iPod Nano package, Nano's earphone is mediocre. So I popped in a couple of songs into the MP3 player and gave it a test run. Sound quality was bearable.

Technology

Good thing about this little pebble is that it has DNSe(Digital Natural Sound Engine) Technology. Means you can choose between Normal, Studio or Concert Hall effect to be applied in your songs. What the fuck. Limited, lame and useless presets.

Anyway, 3 file formats are supported which is mp3, wma and ogg. I would suggest to anyone with the same player convert all their songs to wma or ogg format due to the limited storage space provided. 1GB.... I want to stomp on this player.

Hardware

Something odd stood out and tickled my senses was how this MP3 player connects to a PC. Like the iPod Nano, this little devil uses USB to reenergize itself. But unlike any other MP3 player, it is the first time I came across a audio jack to USB converter.

Very intrusive looking way to connect the Samsung S2.

Lets try my Nokia N82. It shuts down the moment I connect the USB. Verdict : Nokia N82 does not enjoy it when its audio jack gets violated with USB signals.

Gameboy Color connected the same way. Pokemon plays perfectly. No problem here.

In the end, only Samsung's own player will work this way. Nothing else does. Before moving on, charging the player takes up to roughly 2 hours and you will get around 10 hours of music to boot before the battery drains out.

Style

In this department its a plus. The S2 Pebble is meant to act as a necklace of sorts.

A suave and striking fashion statement. Surely it will attract attention from the ladies.

Verdict

I have a Nokia N82 which serves as my primary music player. I have an iPod Nano on standby. I have a Sony Ericsson S500i which doubles as a backup phone and also MP3 player as well. What the fuck am I supposed to do with this piece of rock?

Professional business writing : Resignation

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:35:00 +0000

E-mail Title : Emergency Meeting (this is to catch their attention)
E-mail Subject : Details of salary reduction (this is to ensure they WILL read the mail)

Dear all,

It is my sad and solemn duty to announce that I will be defecting to another "better" cooperate prison. I'm sure most of you would know that this is imminent, but for those who are out of the loop, do not be alarmed. It is only natural.

Allow me the opportunity to say my sincere goodbyes to you all.

A special heartfelt thanks goes to my dear righteous managers and colleagues. Without them, I would not stand tall today. They have build a mountain, and now it will explode like a volcano. Wrong metaphor. Sorry. But seriously, I cherish their support, friendship and companionship to no end.... gracias. Believe me when I say that the decision to leave is not an easy one at all. It is actually very very hard and took me hours to ponder about.

To the insidious managers and corrupt co-workers, once I step out of this cubicle for the last time, the grudge I hold against all will be gone. As they say, let bygones be bygones. Maybe all the distrust and backstabbing was an act of god. Then only god knows for sure. But know this, all is forgiven. I can only hope you will share the same gesture and overlook whatever ill I might have done in the past.

The time spent here has been somewhat an enjoyable journey to me. From the warm welcomes received during enrollment up till my final moments now, it has been a roller coaster ride. I have learned a great deal working with people whom I never thought existed. Made some fine friendships and also some formidable enemies along the way. These memories I shall keep with me for as long as I can afford it, until better ones come along. Thank you all, I am stronger because I did not succumb and also more humane due to the warmth provided.

Lastly,

MARY, Tom thought it would be a swell idea to piggyback this mail and propose to you. Will you accept him?

Signing out,
Afternoon

Letter to nobody

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 13:42:00 +0000

Dear anonymous,

I realised something very bleak today as I was washing my turkey, and that something is this: You are a carelessly cruel dickhead.

Last night, after drinking seven shots of under-the-counter vodka and snorting enough Coca Cola to make Bush blush, it became clear: it really is them, and not me.

I am the one who is completely emasculated when it comes to the beige personal relationships in my life, and yet, I share my innermost Tic-Tacs with no one else on this laughable planet... because they are all simpleminded dodos.

I loathe them all, and I hope they meet a recurring demise choking on a platter of their own tofu.

This uncanny catharsis made me feel pacified and strangely alone, simultaneously. How can I connect with these zebras I am surrounded by on a daily basis? I am just so sick of mourning in the toilet every day.... Maybe it would help if I shove a fistful of chillies into my nose. It makes my heart twitch when I see the defeat in my parents' forehead, and it becomes distinctly clear that they love the old Honda more than myself... Maybe I should stab my ass with a fish hook.

Today I have decided to purchase a female manikin, which will serve as a beginning to spooky sexual adventures, and as a radical symbol for the fuck faced servitude I am bound to in this life... no more in control than the most passive-minded of cows. I am trying desperately to restrain myself from whipping all of my co-workers... except Mary. I've always wanted to enslave her. I didn't ask to be enrolled.

If reincarnation does exists, please leave me out of it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The letter above modified to fit my taste is from a template in the book 4 Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss. Funny shit ROFL.

Sakae Snack

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 09:32:00 +0000

This is what Afternoon craves for during noon.

12 pieces of salmon maki, kagiyage(tempura fried assorted vegetables) and hot green tea.
All these for less than RM10.

Internet Stalking 101

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 11:41:00 +0000

I shall be the first to admit. I sometime stalk people over the internet. Now now... as devious as that sounds, it has nothing to do with hacking nor eavesdropping on a conversation. No invasion of privacy I promise you. What I get in return is public property. So here I will share with you some basics of... checking up on your old friends.

Allow me to further explain. In this era of the web, we tend to accidentally leave tracks all over the WWW. The worst kind of blooper would be to disclose personal information online. But that's not my fault, its the user(or victim). Some people cover their tracks well, some leave nothing online for me to start with. But most willingly advertise themselves all over the net.

With that aside, why on earth would we wanna stalk people online?
1. Bored that surfing blogs, chatting over MSN simply does not fulfill your needs.
2. Want to know more about a person(check if he/she has a page or blog you could visit)
3. Some form of perversion brewing up(I leave this up to your imagination)
4. You're an aspiring internet detective... yeah right.

Great! Now that you know the "WHY" you wanted to walk this rogue path, we can proceed with information gathering. I'm going to list some of the things you need to know before we can begin. Do note that you do not need all of the below to start, its just some recommendation.
1. Full name of the person if possible.
2. Email address.
3. A common username used online(used in forums for example)

Excellent young paladin, you are shaping up well and someday will be a master like me.

FULL NAME

Its simple. Use our best friend google.com. Include the quote symbol before and after the full name and run a search on it.

Chances are, if its an uncommon name you'll get some information on the person you're looking for. Usually information released by certain colleges and universities upon graduation. Deadly as they might reveal your email or social ID. If the name is a common one and you get like 300k results, well then good luck on your journey to filter stuff out.

EMAIL ADDRESS

This is where the fun begins. You'll get to retrieve pictures of a person and their intimate information. Run a simple search over Friendster, MySpace and Facebook. Everyone has a profile on a social networking site nowadays. Just hope that when you find their profile, its not locked. If its locked, well do some social engineering.

Now there is a possibility that you may end up dry and not get anything out of a mere email address. Don't fret it. Simply remove the domain(example "@gmail.com") and search the front part of their email address over google. Like "afternoon_1234" instead of "afternoon_1234@gmail.com".

USERNAME

Ever registered yourself over a forum? Or certain websites? Yes I'm sure you did and I'm willing to bet most of you all use the same username everywhere. Once again we can summon google.com to do our work and locate where that specific username is registered. Any public websites or forums he/she is registered to will come up as a result.

Pretty simple isnt it? Well yes it is. At the same time lady luck needs to be shining on you. Often you'll get information like personal blog address, phone numbers, bank account number or even a house address. Once you have confirmed the accuracy of the victim's traces, his/her life will be revealed to you. Modus operandi in life, hang out locations, favourite food, current situation, etc etc.

I hope this guide will aid in satisfying your innermost desire to seek out more about an individual. Hopefully it is not a fetish.

Quickie

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 00:42:00 +0000

For those of you who are out of the loop, you can now visit my webpage via www.whoisafternoon.com instead of the usual blogspot address. I have saved 2 seconds of your life keying in my blog URL. Of course if you have my site bookmarked to start with.... just a click and no time wasted.

For the curious, blogger.com is still hosting my odd writings. Just that I now have a cheapo domain pointing to this page.

Taking surveys

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:03:00 +0000

Due to the boredom at work and the prospect of hard cash, I registered myself at youthsays.com. A nice site well done brewed up by Ng Khai Lee. I've met him twice. First was at a birthday party cum BBQ session by hosted by a girl named "SEX GURU". The second time around.... well I'm not going to dive into details. Lets just say that Khai Lee comes across as "A charming and successful young guy".

So after 20 minutes of hard work.....

Since I am in the site with the purpose of striking gold, I guess Khai Lee is my virtual boss now. Someday I will receive that sweet sweet RM50 cheque from him. I just hope when that day comes, it don't bounce.

Now allow me to aggresively refresh my internet explorer hoping a new survey awaits.

Ultimate Untitled Update

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 07:28:00 +0000

So whats been up lately? I stepped up.

I have been proactively caressing soft silk material before the chinese new year. It is truly a great feeling to be perverted in La Senza (the premier female undergarment shoppe) and nobody cares.

Excuse me miss... Mmmm soft silky panties :D :D ..... I like.

I even stood in there for a good 15 minutes observing what type of females shop in there. What a typical girl would do in there is to pick the naughtiest, sluttiest item, have a good look at it and then imagine themselves for a whole good minute. Then they'll giggle and go "Nahhh" and lay it back down. Brother, I can say that I'm at the verge of a breakthrough soon. I think I'm starting to understand women 1%.

By holding this book, I already feel the aura of success!

Well, that was before the festives. One the first day of chinese new year itself I got a hint from the almighty one that I might die. Or I might die quadruple of times.

4444 = Die die die die...

Anyways, with much spare time in my hands I've been pumping iron. Did some basic parkour too. Parkour'ed out to mcds and parkour'ed back to my house with a large milo, 2 beefburgers and one quarter pounder. I rock man. Try jumping around and sprinting fast with 1 hand holding all of that. You can? Ok, ok... you rock too.

Lastly is a brand new hobby. Bird photography + harassment. Great fun there. Imagine as a bird you fly around town mindlessly for no good reason. You've had 10 hours of air time and now your body tells you that you're dead exhausted. You decided to rest on some house window..... big mistake. I have a camera. Equipped with blinding flash.

"Huh? Whatddaya wan?"

"DUDE! Leave me alone man..."

I did try to communicate with it by chriping loudly and waving my hands frantically. The bird simply ignored me and flew away. I'll tell you now, nobody lived their lives completely. Not until you've been labelled "asshole" by an animal.

Not quite satisfied with my victory, I've decided to take on something more daunting. The Force of nature. A force to be reckoned with.

Thats right... Owh yeah thats a bee hive loaded with thousands of bloodthristy soldiers. Now this is my kind of battle.

"urgh, *choke* Afternoon is superior.... *dies*"

Suffice to say, I triumphed once again.

Mission briefing

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 03:55:00 +0000

++++ Calling..... ++++

++++ Transmission Established ++++

Ehhhhhh?

Ahhh commandah! It is good to hear from you. This is proof that you have survived previous battles you were assigned to. I deplore that you once again escaped the honor to sacrifice for mother Russia. Worry not my friend, as they say... all in good time. Still commandah, tell me of your past endeavors. Surely the tales of allied defeat brings great joy upon the country no?

Yes... yes, enough commandah. We have no time for petty tales of puny courage and negligible victory. For you see, a new threat have arisen which calls for your immediate attention. The Allies erected a building of great mystery on the land of Kaliningrad. Ahhh poor Kaliningrad, you would remember that well wouldn't you commandah? It was your failure that caused the loss of..... nevermind.

Please... this is not the time for shame commandah, allow me to finish. Our satellites detected that the surrounding area is well fortified. Through that, best analysts of Russia concludes it to be an architecture of high importance. Our loyal spies have returned with the information that this structure is named "PROTON COLLIDER". We do not know of what purpose it serves but Premier Cheokov demands that the building be reduced to rubbles before sunrise. Russia will not wake up another day to witness such desecration to our conviction.

Commandah, your reputation proceeds you. You have the confidence of Premier Cheokov as he personally requested your participation in this vital task. At your disposal, Premier Cheokov himself generously sanctioned your usage of five faithful Conscripts, three of the most ferocious Warbears, and one Ore Collector to tank heavy incoming fire or misdirect the enemy. Mmm, I believe you will do very well commandah.

Let me send you your mission objectives.

++++ Transmission ended ++++

++++ Incoming message ++++

1. Infiltrate Kaliningrad and avoid detection.
South of Kaliningrad would be the best choice as determined by our sources commandah. There is no enemy presence detected. Eliminate any civillian on sight to prevent reinforcements to be alerted.

2. Make your way to Bolshakovo.
Exercise extreme caution commandah as most of our spies were murdered by snipers on the same path. We believe them to be hidden like cowards inside civillian buildings. Your Conscript's molotov cocktail will be of good use. Burn down all buildings on your way to eliminate any possibilities.

3. Dismantle the PROTON COLLIDER.
You will meet heavy resistance in the form of Mirage Tanks, Attack Dogs, and Multigunner Turrets. Fret not commandah, for Premier Cheokov has it all planned out for you. Bears are superior to dogs no? The Ore Collector provided will act as a decoy to lure the Mirage Tanks out of their invisibility for your units to target. Once you have wiped out all hostilities, proceed to destroy PROTON COLLIDER.

4. OPTIONAL : Report back to base.
Deliver us good news of your victory if you are able to commandah. I wish you the best of luck.

++++ End of message ++++

V for Vanilla

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 18:35:00 +0000

Good morning London. My name is simply V and if I may, allow me to share my very thoughts with you on this splendid day.

I KNOW exactly what is happening to you. There is this lingering doubt in your mind which you could not quite catch on to. You feel oppressed and yet you try to ignore it, tricking yourself that there is nothing more to it, mere silly thoughts. Such is the cruel act used to delude one self. I KNOW how it feels like. Waking up each day to the same day. Routine. Your actions, always pending approval by others. There is something you want, yet you may not have it. Simply because you do not know of what you need in the first place. Life is perfect on the surface, but there is something amiss isn't it?

How does one end up in such a predicament? I will tell you now. I will speak of words that your ears shunned for so long. FEAR. You succumbed to fear and tumbled into a reality created by others. You follow because you are uninformed, easily influenced. Rules and regulations of the system robbed you of your freedom to question, to investigate your surroundings. Your friends and your family who thread on the same system will continue to remind you of its merits, or the repercussions when you fail to oblige. Such lowly techniques seeks to induce your utmost loyalty. It worked on them, and they will work it upon you dearly. The years spent will beat you down into submission, rendering you impotent to think of anything else, only to serve.

How did it begin? FEAR. Fearing the possibilities of life. Fear of originality. Fear of being rediculed. Fear of being an outcast. Why are you afraid of such things? Once upon a time you were brave, but tasted the bitter end of freedom. Then in your weakest moment alone, confused and gullible, a recruiter appeared. He sold you his ideals and pitched his perspectives deep into your vulnerable soul. When subscribed, the system demands your full obidience and that you compromise your very own life to fuel its glorified existence. The only compensation returned is the illusion of immunity. LIES.

There is a way to escape this prison of fate London. All that is needed, is to be informed, to be reminded of the fresh air you once breathe. I have had the honor to knock on your door of realization this fine morning. It is time for you to open up your senses and question authority, what many practitioners banned you from. Investigate the very core of your beliefs and be selective of influence. This will be the moment you rise up as an individual, capable of CHOICE and distinguishable from the herd due to originality. This is your fight, your resistance and your life, if you choose so.

I wish you well London.

no fear lies choice, V

Tangled thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Afternoon) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 12:02:00 +0000

I was supposed to update this blog with a post on punching stuff and people but alas, Afternoon is not a jolly guy 24/7. He has his downtime too. Since I am not in a mood to write descriptively or creatively, I shall list down stuff that happened to me recently. In point form... :

A. My phone is crapping out on me. Occasionally I would get served with the message "Insert SIM card" which means no phone functionality at all. When all is well and working, I'd get intermittent issues. If my phone feels like vibrating during an incoming call, it will. Else it might not even notify me at all. Fuck you Sony Ericsson s500i.

B. Previous night, I dreamt that I was in a very serious poker tournament competing with a triad boss. The stakes were high and this guy I'm up against had the upper hand. He wore a dozen battle scars all over his body(some on his face), gifted with a large body mass and his face looked like shit. Perfect ingredients of intimidation. Occasionally he would taunt me with his laughter or try to stare me down. I was sweating bullets in my dream, and I think also on the bed. As the final cards are dealt, intense pressure and fear surged through my body like a bad orgasm. In the end, I won all the candy(yes, candy. Lots of candy). Mixed feelings of relieve and rediculed started to sip in. He smiled and congratulated me, then we proceed to negotiate the terms and conditions of our upcoming friendship. WTF?????

C. Previous day, I woke up with a hard hangover. Suffered a massive migrane and was in an advanced stage of dehydration. It was so bad I actually awaken still drunk. You know what's worst? I did not have the pleasure to consume any alcoholic beverages the night before. Could the apple juice I've had from a lebanese restaurant be the culprit of it all? WTF?????

D. Previous life.......