When EF Talks

Goodbye, Blogger. We're Movin' Out (This Blog Has Moved)

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Tue, 3 Dec 2013 16:34:00 -0600

If you've found this page, you've found my OLD blog. Every post here, and a lot of new ones are now at WordPress.

Find our NEW blog here: "WhenEFTalks.com"

As I said, every single post you can find here has been ported over to the new site.
So, don't waste your time surfing around here...and, please, don't leave comments here...they wont' be seen.

Now, Wordpress.

You'll have to visit there and let me know what you think. I really will be interested in getting your feedback, and in seeing if readership improves any.

It's always been good, really. But I'm also always looking to reach the largest possible audience.

So, thanks to Blogger for several good years.
I really have no regrets, and promise you this isn't your fault.

See you all soon on the new When EF Talks.

EF

Holy Crap! You Still Think This is a Stunt, Don't You?

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Sat, 30 Nov 2013 17:41:00 -0600

Cardinal Dolan has revealed way more than he meant to with comments to “Meet The Press” this weekend.

Asked about gay marriage, the Cardinal said the Catholic Church had been “outmarketed” on the issue.

Outmarketed?!!!
Like “Coke vs. Pepsi?”

Then it hit me.

I remembered the very same reaction to the very first weekend when gay and lesbian folks got married in San Francisco. Remember that? It was some years back, when Gavin Newsome was the mayor and the city started issuing marriage licenses.

I still remember the pictures of joyous couples who raced down to city hall to get married. And I still remember the next Sunday at Northaven Church. We were still in the old building, that’s how long ago this was.

What I remember is that there were tears of joy.

Some of our members literally wept tears of joy in our worship service, because they had seen pictures of couples getting married in California.

But that evening I went home and watched the news. And what I saw astounded me. It was an endless line of straight white Americans criticizing the very same pictures that had brought tears of joy to everyone I knew.

They called it a sham.
They called it a shame.
They called it (and this was the one that most got me) a “publicity stunt.”

This image —of those straight critics, juxtaposed to the tears of joy I saw— popped back into my head, as I heard this quote from Cardinal Dolan today.

So, to Cardinal Dolan, and to all those like him, I sincerely ask:

Holy crap! You still think this is all a stunt, don’t you?”

You still don’t get that the struggle for recognition of both same sex marriage by the government an d the Church, is not primarily about “rights” at all.

The driving force is not politics.
The driving force is not “marketing.”

The driving force behind this movement is LOVE.

And that is why the movement is both succeeding, and why far too many organized denominations (including my own) are cluelessly watching their influence and relevance fade away.

This movement is succeeding because it’s about LOVE, not successful “marketing.”

And since you brought this up, since when was the Church’s business ever about marketing, anyway?

I thought we were supposed to be about ministry…
Huh.

The fact that you think any organized religion should be deeply engaged in some kind of marketing-war speaks volumes (tragic volumes) for who you are and how you see your job.

And, the truth is, it probably is how many others like you still frame these issues.

Let me offer a suggestion, to you and to them.

Jetison the word “marketing.”

Let me theologize with you a bit instead.

The phrase you are actually looking for is “movement of the Holy Spirit.”

The Church is “losing” this “battle”(1) not because it’s not good at marketing, but because it’s failing to see how this is a movement of God’s Holy Spirit loose in our nation today, driven by love.

Gamaliel was right, all those centuries ago, when he warned the Sanhedrin not to stand against the early Apostles. He said:

“If what they have planned and done is of human origin, it will disappear, but if it comes from God, you cannot possibly defeat them. You could find yourselves fighting against God!” (Acts 5: 38-39)

Yes. Exactly.

That’s where we are, right now, in our culture, on the issue of same sex marriage.

You can fight a marketing battle.

But you can't “fight” God’s Holy Spirit, Cardinal.(2)

Surely you know that.

Because you can’t out-market “LOVE.”

In fact, you really can’t “win” a struggle against love.

God's grand drama of Holy Week tells that story.

It's not a stunt.
There's no winning and there's no losing. There never is when the goal is love.

I am reminded of what George Carlin once said about the difference between football and baseball. In football, the goal is to literally drive the other team off the playing field....to push them off completely. (into the end zone)
In baseball, the goal is just to get "home."

This is a struggle more like baseball than football. Nobody on the pro-same-sex marriage side is trying to push anybody else off the field. They're just trying to find a way for us all to get "home" to love.

Too many people like Cardinal Dolan, still seem to believe this is about "winning" and "losing." Or, worse yet, about "spinning" perceived wins and losses with good marketing.

But in the end, this is only about love, and the incredible ways God is working in the world today changing the hearts and minds of countless Christians on the issue of same sex marriage.

Let those with ears, hear!

(1)I put both in quotes because I can not conceptualize of a struggle for the recognition of “love as either…
(2) And, dear members of our own United Methodist Church…

This Blog, "When EF Talks," has moved!

Find these posts, and more great new ones, at our new home: "WhenEfTalks.com"

Come see us there...

EF

Thanksgiving/Black Friday Reminder...

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Thu, 28 Nov 2013 12:08:00 -0600

Wouldn't it be great if the shoppers saw this in the holiday windows?

I've written many times about the paradox of these two days, Thanksgiving and Black Friday.

My favorite quote on this paradox comes from my preacher friend, David Weber:

"Americans stopped for awhile yesterday to give thanks for what they have, then rose this morning, early, and left the house, praying 'But it's not enough.'"

What would it take for us to stop saying, "It's not enough?"
What would it take for us to believe what the sign says?

It seems to me it's a true spiritual movement. It's understanding deeply just how blessed we are.

Let's say it this way: If you are reading this blog, there's a very good statistical chance you are among the wealthiest people in the entire world. And yet, time and time again, so many of us fail to realize this.

We focus on what we don't have.
We focus on what others do.

But focusing on God's message of just how blessed we are can help open our hearts...to become happier and more content in our own lives...and more willing to share our blessings and gifts with others.

So, some reminders of previous writings I've done on this day.

First, a Thanksgiving Meditation from a few years back.

Then, a meditation on Why I Don't Shop Black Friday.

Finally, a song of Thanks for you all.

May your Thanksgiving be blessed and safe, and may you be able to "see the signs."

The Heartbreaking Dynamic

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Mon, 25 Nov 2013 10:13:00 -0600

It happened again over the weekend. I got an email from a gay man that said this:

"Please remove my name from the membership rolls of Northaven Methodist Church and remove me from your email and US mail lists...
As a gay man, I feel that I no longer want to be affiliated in any way with the Methodist denomination in light of the conviction of a Methodist pastor for officiating at a same-sex marriage... of his own son"

I won't share the person's name with you, although he has one and is indeed a good child of God.

What I'm sharing with you is the dynamic.

The dynamic is that, once again, the United Methodist Church has been in the news. Once again, the news has been about homosexuality. And once again, somebody is leaving Northaven Church.

The "news" the conviction of Frank Schaefer, a United Methodist minister who --six years ago-- performed the wedding for his gay son and son-in-law(1)

I'd been praying for a week over exactly what I needed to write about this. I was gonna write about Frank Schaefer and the trial. But many other beautiful essays have been written about it already.

Especially this one. I can't commend this essay from Morgan Guyton highly enough. I wouldn't change one word, and wish I'd written it myself:

"The basic game that God’s people have been playing since the beginning is to find a way to leverage their meticulous devotion to the letter of the law to their advantage. Doctrinal and moral purity are pursued ferociously as a means for dominating others. As Jesus says about the Pharisees of His day, “They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear,and lay them on the shoulders of others” (Matthew 23:4). Their zeal for moral purity was more about being able to lay heavy burdens on others than it was about devotion to God."

O man, he speaks God's truth here.

And even more when he talks about the parable of the Good Samaritan:

"When a teacher of the law asks Jesus in Luke 10 what he must do to inherit eternal life, Jesus’ summary of the entirety of Torah is to share the parable of the Good Samaritan. That was actually the parable Schaefer cited in his comments about what he did (which were of course inadmissible in his church trial). The reason that the priest and the Levite didn’t touch the wounded man was because of the Torah’s regulations on ritual uncleanliness. They were being “Biblical.” The Samaritan violated the Torah to fulfill the Torah because his heart was “moved with pity.”

Yep. More and more it's hard to see how we United Methodist elders are not simply modern-day Priests and Levites.

Finally, this incredible conclusion:

"The heart matters to God, and right now Frank Schaefer isn’t the only one on trial; we all are. Based on my understanding of holiness, I do not see how officiating a same-sex wedding for your son is idolatrous or unjust (I have examined the Bible as faithfully as thoroughly as I could). I am starting to wonder whether elevating a book other than the Bible above the Bible is the real idolatry here."

As I said, you should read the whole essay. I don't know what else I could add about Frank Schaefer or the trial. So, as I said, I won't.

But when I got this email, this weekend, I knew I wanted to write about the dynamic.

You see, I've gotten letters like this before. Most memorably, I got them after the 2004 and 2008 General Conference.

I get them pretty much every time the United Methodist Church makes "news" over issues related to LGBT persons and the Church. The dynamic is that faithful Christians --both LGBT and straight-- decide that they can no longer affiliate with the United Methodist Church.

I would estimate that here at Northaven, we may have lost as many as 100 members during my tenure because of this dynamic.(1a) Now and then, somebody will write me a letter like this, letting me know of the moral stand they are taking.

But more often than not, folks simply fade away. They don't have a personal need to change the organization, or to "guilt us" over their leaving. They just have the desire to be faithful their own inner core and the leading of God's Spirit. They believe there is "spiritual violence" being done here against LGBT persons, and they no longer wish to be a part of that. So, they just "leave." They silently fade away.

Like choosing Costco over Sams, like choosing to shop on "Small Business Saturday" insteat "Black Friday," they are making a moral choice about who they are and what they are willing to support with their prayers, presence, gifts, service and witness.

After all, the Church a voluntary organization. Nobody ever puts a gun to anybody's head and makes them stay. So, more and more, people are voting with their feet and their pocketbooks.(2)

As such, I have never been able to "judge" people who make this kind of decision.

It breaks my heart, though.
Every single time it happens, it re-breaks my heart.
My heart's been broken so many times now, I'm sometimes amazed it still beats at all.

But, look, how can I judge somebody who's thoughtfully come to this conclusion? Good Lord, the whole problem starts with excessive and unnecessary judgmentalism in the first place! Why would I ever pile on?

But I grieve. And I cry.

And then, I pick myself up, and with trembling knees and shaking hands, re-examine again the reason why I stay.

I won't go into all those here, because I don't want to drift too far off the point of this blog, which was to note the dynamic. (And, besides, Mary Clair preached a fine sermon about all this yesterday...)

But my answer has always been something like....

I stay for the beautiful people of Northaven Church...
I stay for the dozen or so of our couples who have now gotten married in various states around the nation...
I stay for the beautiful families who are raising their children with us...
I stay for those who, like me, believe at some level that all is not lost for the UMC...
I stay for those who, even if they do think the UMC is lost, still choose to embrace their Northaven family as fellow "members"...

I stay because, even with those who've left, every now and then we have folks who come back! Thanks be to God for the, far too rare times, when someone is on the verge of leaving, or does, only to return to the Church at some later time. What a witness to their faith that is!

I have always said that there are dozens of different moral places to stand in the struggle for the full inclusion of LGBT persons in the Church of Jesus Christ.

Some stand as "insiders," trying to change a system from within.
Some stand as "outsiders," raging against the machine.
Some are activists.
Some lead by their quiet example.

It was the same in the time during the 1960s and the Civil Rights struggle. Some folks took more activist roles, were arrested, and pushed against the machinery of government. Others changed hearts and minds quietly by how they lived each and every day. Some worked to craft legislation and push the government itself.

As with Civil Rights, it takes people standing in all sorts of positions in order to effect change on LGBT acceptance in the Church of Jesus Christ. There are many faithful places to stand, and all those places are making a difference.

I stand as an "insider," for now. I stand as a life-long United Methodist who still has the idealistic faith that our denomination can be redeemed, and that there is some social good in not simply abandoning our institutions, but redeeming them. I stand because I know that this is the true heritage of who we are as United Methodists.

In the long view, this is a working of God's Holy Spirit, and once God's Holy Spirit has moved the hearts of all God's children, our institutions must be there to serve all of them. We must fight to bring our institutions along, even when they come kicking and screaming.

So, in a nutshell, these are a part of why I stay. And, let me assure you: the Schaefer decision is causing many of us to ask: "What more should we be doing?" More on this in the weeks to come...

But, again, none of that's the point of this blog...

The point here today, in this blog, is to count the cost of this heartbreaking dynamic. We who remain as "insiders" --where ever we stand on the issue of LGBT inclusion-- should never forget to count the costs.

So, no, I cannot begrudge those who choose to leave.

But I ask two things:
1) I ask that the United Methodist Church hear and understand their stories, and
2) I ask them, as they are able, to tell their stories.

Within the cost of this heartbreaking dynamic are not only in LGBT persons, but also straight allies as well. They get to vote with prayers, presence, gifts, service, and witness too.

Many times in the past few years, when the subject of LGBT inclusion comes up with my clergy friends, I will ask them where their own children attend church. It's often a painful moment, and I'm sure I don't always get an, ahem, "straight" answer. But many of my older-baby-boomer colleagues will admit that even their own children are abandoning the United Methodist Church too.

Their adult children --who are no doubt Methodist to their core-- are choosing to affiliate with Christian denominations (or choosing to be a "None") that are open and inclusive; places that are not wasting time, energy, and resources standing against LGBT persons.

Bishop Sally Dyck recently named this powerfully in a letter to the members of her Annual Conference:

"Not allowing space for people who long for an open church is counter-productive to fulfilling our mission to make disciples of Jesus Christ. The church and its leaders long for "more people, younger people, and more diverse people." But with "more people, younger people (and not so young), and more diverse people" come people for whom the matters of human sexuality aren't a stumbling block in faith but quite the contrary. When we aren't open and welcoming of all people, our statements on human sexuality are an impediment, causing many within the church to become disappointed in the UMC and to feel that we are being hypocritical in what Jesus would have us be and do. We need space so we can grow and be vital."

(Update! Less than an hour after I published this blog, Bishop Dyck also published a blog from her nephew, making the same points as the preceding paragraphs...)

So, I have a request. I would love for any of you who have already "left" Methodism because of LGBT issues to share your story as a comment below (or on Facebook). Because it's important for those of us who are left to hear those stories.(3)

I wrote today because didn't want to let another email like this come to me without acknowledging the real human and spiritual costs, of our denomination's ant-gay policies.

And if you want to understand why many of us stay and fight, it's because we know and understand that people like this man are worth fighting for, even when they choose not to say.

All God's children are worth fighting for.

Friends, this is a heartbreaking dynamic.

And God grieves with us, knowing that it doesn't have to be this way.

1) By the way, I cannot help but note that Frank Schaefer is also-also a singer-songwriter. He's got some mighty fine music here.

1a) Honesty requires that I admit we've lost members for all sorts of other reasons too, of course; and that this is simply my ballpark guestimate.

(2)I blogged about this repeatedly, especially in analyzing the rising number of the "Nones" in society today. In public opinion polls, the "None" almost always say that the word "homophobic" is of the best descriptors for the Church of Jesus Christ.

(3)My blog is not a "free speech" zone, nor has it ever been. I've asked for specific kinds of comments here. Off-topic comments are likely to be deleted...

(Leave a comment below via your Twitter, Facebook or Google+ account. And, if you like this post, then "share it" or "like" it on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too. Comments here are moderated, and are approved at my descretion, when I can get to it..so be patient if they don't appear right away)

(1)I put both in quotes because I can not conceptualize of a struggle for the recognition of “love as either…
(2) And, dear members of our own United Methodist Church…

This Blog, "When EF Talks," has moved!

Find these posts, and more great new ones, at our new home: "WhenEfTalks.com"

Come see us there...

EF

Looking Back At the One Thing Worse: The Legacy of Prophetic Preaching

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Sun, 17 Nov 2013 19:09:00 -0600

A Sermon Preached at Northaven United Methodist Church, Dallas Texas

November 17, 2013

Audio Version of this Sermon: Here

Original Bill Holmes sermon text from 1963: Here

"History Does Not Repeat Itself, but It Does Rhyme." -- Mark Twain

Today, we take a special look back at one of the events that most changed our world, our city, and our church: The assassination of John F Kennedy, fifty years ago.

In that pre-September 11th time, the Kennedy assassination was arguably the most scarring domestic event in our nation. But unlike most churches in America, the Kennedy assassination was written into the DNA of Northaven Church itself. This most horrific event in our nation’s history also became a part of Northaven’s story too.

Everyone alive at the time looks back at the Kennedy assassination as one of the single most traumatic events they can remember.

Well, everybody but me.

We late generation Baby Boomers have lived an odd life, in that we remember very few of the seminal events "our generation" talks about. We have few conscious memories of most of the world events and trends that shaped the lives of most Boomers. This was never more true than with the Kennedy assassination.

Yes, I lived in Dallas at the time (ten minutes from the scene, just down the road from here). But at fourteen-months-and-one-day-old; there's no conscious memory of that day for me.

So, I didn’t grow up with the event. Like the three or four generations of children that have grown up since, I grew up with the aftermath.

Anyone who has lived in Dallas these five decades knows the truth of what I’m about to say: While the Kennedy assassination no doubt changed the nation, it specially changed our whole city. It stayed with us in ways that it did not stay with them.

Many of you had the same experience I had when traveling around America as a kid. We’d go to Massachusetts, or Colorado, or Washington DC….and everywhere we’d go, people would say to me,

"Oh...you're from Dallas....that's where Kennedy was killed..."

And whether they meant it or not, there was a patina of shame woven into their words.

"Oh...you're from that place…"

Even when I went to Russia in the early 1990s, the people there knew Dallas for two things:

1) The Dallas Cowboys.

2) Kennedy.

New Russian friends --with whom we shared no language-- mouthed the word "Kennedy" to us, and then stood before us in awkward silence no words could have ever vanquished.

Everywhere I went as I grew up, I felt that shame from an event I didn't remember.

But here's the other odd thing about growing up in Dallas in Kennedy’s aftermath: As a kid growing up in the Preston Hollow neighborhood of Dallas, in the shadows of both the physical buildings and the historical time, nobody ever talked about the Kennedy assassination.

Like I said, we heard about it on vacation. ("Oh...you're from that place…")

But here? If adults ever did mention it, it was in hushed tones. Hushed, pained, perhaps even humiliated, tones. It was unmentionable. It was a heavy pall, a weight in the shoulders of every adult I knew. And the message I learned and intuited was that I was not to talk about it either.

So it was that that it wasn’t until I could drive in high school that I knew for sure which of those downtown buildings was the "School Book Depository.”

The biggest, most momentous thing ever to happen in my hometown...

Something in our backyard debated, discussed, and lamented the world over...

But not here. Nobody ever spoke in words about it here.

But everybody FELT it.

And it was horrible.

About twenty years ago, I wrote a song about all of this. I tend to do that, as some of you know. They say you’re supposed to write songs about things you know, and it dawned on me while I was in seminary that I could, and maybe should, write a song about these events.

It’s not a song about the assassination. In fact, I have little interest in conspiracy theories and the like. It’s song about us…the people of Dallas at the time.

It's about some of you --some of you who have told me of your experience of being at the Trade Mart, or along the motorcade route. It's about my parent’s friends and my friend’s parents.

I was going to play it on guitar for you today, but this week, I made a video for it. And I think it would be better to play that.

So, I invite you to this video, my own telling of this story we all know…

Our story of that day...

(Words, Music, Video-- Eric Folkerth)

(Song Credits-- Eric Folkerth: Vocals and Guitar. Tim McLemore: Piano. Violin: Reggie Rueffer)

("Sitting In the Trade Hall": Downloadable Single)

The song tries to capture

... That sense of real pride that was surely here that day...

... That sense of wariness over a "liberal" coming to Dallas...

... That horrible sense of guilt that descended like a 50-year pall.

Although everybody knew it wasn't really Dallas' fault, what I learned growing up is that many adults here secretly prayed the last line of the song:

"O dear God, don't let 'em say it was our fault…”

What became surreal to me was that I wrote this song back in 1989, some twelve years before being appointed here to Northaven....a place well acquainted with the historical events the song mentions. A place that was a part of these same stories.

Some of you long-term members know the story well. Today, we’ll review it a bit for all our sakes…

First, the history. And I am deeply indebted to a new book called “Dallas, 1963” Which I cannot recommend highly enough to anyone who has ever lived, or lives now, in Dallas. (Or anybody who wants to know more about us...)

In 1960, then Vice-Presidential candidate, Lyndon Baines Johnson, and Lady Bird, made a last minute campaign stop here in Dallas. They found themselves tossled about the downtown Dallas streets by a crowd dubbed the “Mink Coat Mob,” a group of Dallas socialites, whipped into a frenzy by Dallas Congressman Bruce Alger.

It was a terrifying scene in which this sitting Senator was literally pushed around the streets of downtown. And hard to fathom, even now, how a sitting US Congressman could organize this kind of thing, against a sitting US Senator.

LBJ and Lady Bird pushing the crowd in 1960

In 1963, just before Kennedy’s visit, Adlai Stevenson, the Ambassador to the United Nations, was spat upon and heckled at a downtown meeting.

Adlai Stevenson Being Pushed Around

“Dallas 1963” outlines the growth of ultra-Right Wing extremists here in Dallas…led by the John Birch Society….by Congressman Alger, and by unelected leaders like General Edwin Walker. There were other strange groups that I read about along the way, such as the, and I quote, “National Indignation Society.”

There WAS a dangerous and angry stew brewing in Dallas, Texas in the early 1960s. Yes, Oswald was most definitely on the left politically. But he was also a crazy loner. And if we’ve learned anything in the past five decades it’s that crazed loners can do a lot of harm, especially when they swim in a sea of conflict and dissension. It’s known that Oswald had already tried to kill General Walker.

It’s clear now that he was looking for attention, and was apparently deeply disappointed when his attempt on Walker’s life did not get him more publicity. So, why not Kennedy instead? Especially with posters like THIS around:

Poster on the Streets of Dallas

Two days after the assassination, Rev. Bill Holmes, who was Northaven’s minister at the time, preached a sermon that is arguably one of the most famous, or infamous, of the 20th Century.

Bill called the sermon “The One Thing Worse Than This.”

In the sermon, Bill recounted some of the history I’ve just shared with you. Some of the festering, angry mood of Dallas at the time.

Here's a quote from the sermon:

Rev. William A. Holmes of Northaven Methodist

"We, the majority of (Dallas) citizens, have gone quietly about our work and leisure, forfeiting the city’s image to the hate mongers and reactionaries in our midst. …We cannot, month after month, year after year, sow the seeds of intolerance and hate, and then upon learning of the President’s visit – just throw a switch and hope all rancor will disappear. The vocal, organized and unorganized extremists have captured us – while we were sleeping in the night..."

You see, Bill was drawing a line between all these very real things that had been cooking and simmering in Dallas, and what happened to the President.

Reporters found out about the sermon, and Walter Cronkite sent a film crew to film Holmes re-preaching the sermon to an empty sanctuary a few days later. Cronkite then ran a lengthy excerpt from the sermon on the CBS Evening News.

We're pleased to announce that I believe we have found that video! After quite a bit of sleuthing this week, I have uncovered the following clip. This, we believe, is the clip of Bill Holmes’ 1963 sermon, “The One Thing Worse Than This” that ran on national television.

By the way, I sent this clip to Bill and Nancy Holmes the other night, and Bill sent back an excited email. He claimed to have never seen before! What a thrill to have been able to send it to him..

What happened after that clip ran was that the Dallas Police reported death threats against them. Bill, Nancy, and their children were forced into hiding for week

It became one of the seminal events, if not the seminal event, in the history of Northaven Church. Some folks left Northaven. Others who stayed were shocked. They wondered, "Why the outcry?"

Holmes had done nothing but speak the truth, after all.

The biggest controversy was apparently one part of the above video clip, where Bill Holmes passed on a story told to him: that school children had applauded when they heard Kennedy had been killed.

Dallas School Officials, and even local journalists, denied for years that it ever happened. In some folks minds, even today, Holmes must have been mistaken.

But, as some of you know, Bill Holmes spoke in 2008 at an event a the Sixth Floor Museum, where he revealed the name of the teacher who had told him about the children laughing, and demonstrates beyond all doubt that those who denied it happened where clearly mistaken in their facts and recall.

Even more than this, there is a woman here today in our Northaven sanctuary, who was also a teacher at the time, and reports the same phenomenon at her school.

But here’s something else I discovered. Holmes was not the only preacher to take a prophetic stand that Sunday. Bill McElvaney has reminded me that many of the so-called “Dirty Dozen,” other preachers who were prophetic and socially progressive, also preached similar sermons to Bill’s.

And I have discovered something else fascinating. That at Highland Park Methodist, on that same Sunday after the assassination, their preacher, Bill Dickinson, also preached quite an edgy and prophetic sermon.

Rev. Bill Dickinson of Highland Park Methodist

Here’s some of what he had to say:

“There are among us today too many purveyors of hate, people who speak of intelligent, sincere holders of public office as traitors – people who fill our cars with leaflets bearing printed lies and calling our public officials “disloyal” – people who fill our mail with emotional, bitter, harangue and accusations, who make harassing telephone calls to honest and sincere citizens at all hours of the night…..

Hate, not only in our city but throughout the nation, has become big business and is supported by large contributions and exceedingly competent leadership. And we in Dallas, it seems to me, have more than our share of extremists. It is not a pretty picture into which an assassin found his place.”

Isn’t that a fascinating quote?

It’s really not much different at all from the prophetic tone Holmes took that day.

So, given that others were being equally prophetic, it seems to me it was the national press attention, and the story of children laughing, that caused Holmes to get so much hate and vitriol.

But, look, don’t miss an important point…

If you choose to deny Dallas was as ultra-conservative as we’ve said today...

If you you choose to disbelieve that the children laughed...

Just look at the facts of what happened to Bill Holmes:

A) Holmes preaches prophetically that Dallas is a place seething with hate and anger.

B) Holmes is forced into hiding for a week by people seething with hate and anger

The reaction to the sermon proved the point of the sermon.

Prophetic preaching has always been a part of Northaven's tradition, and this sermon by Bill Holmes was the first time it got serious notice from the world at large. It’s a humbling thing to me, even in some small way, to hope we here continue that great tradition of Bill’s sermon, the preaching of Bill McElvaney, and so many other who have been here in this great church.

I believe it to be a "God-thing" that in today’s Gospel lesson, Jesus talks specifically about the cost of speaking a prophetic word to a people who may well unwilling to hear it:

“But before all this occurs, they will arrest you and persecute you; they will hand you over to synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors because of my name.”
“You will be betrayed even by parents and brothers, by relatives and friends; and they will put some of you to death. You will be hated by all because of my name.”
“But not a hair of your head will perish. By your endurance you will gain your souls.”

It was faith in God, the One who tell us faith overcomes our fears, that allowed Rev. Holmes the courage to preach that sermon. Our faith in Christ calls us to reach out in love to those who spread hate.

I talked to Nancy Holmes the other night. As I expected, she said they’ve done several interviews lately. She said that the journalists always ask them, “So, what’s happen in Dallas now…what is Dallas like now?”

The truth is, they haven't lived here in 45 years, so they generally demure on the subject.

But we can answer it. How are we different?

Well, politically, things are much different in Dallas today. Dallas has moved from a place where one party dominated the city for years, to a place where elections are close, with Democrats winning many today.

I’m not trying to score a partisan political point here. Just objectively stating that elections are a lot closer today than they were in 1960, or for much of the past 50 years.

Dallas is also a genuinely multi-ethnic, international city. Hundreds of thousands of people have moved into the area from elsewhere, bringing with them values that have gradually nudged out the old provincialisms many of us were raised with. And this, really, is a good thing. (this got an "Amen" from the Northaven crowd this morning...EF)

This means that Northaven --deeply scarred by the reaction the Holmes' sermon-- is no longer a tiny minority in an ultra-conservative sea.

In Methodist circles alone, there are easily a half-dozen genuinely "progressive" congregations popping up around the city today.

Northaven haven't changed all that much.

But Dallas has, around us.

Having said this, I sometimes look around the nation, and I wonder how much, if any we actually have changed. Dallas is no longer a hotbed of extremists, but we see extremists voices all around us in the culture.

Mark Twain is alleged to have said, "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
A lot of verses being sung today, sound a lot like 1963.

What it seems to me is: the hard core, ultra-conservatism that infected Dallas in 1963, now moves freely in our national politics.

Here you see a picture of Congressman Bruce Alger in 1960 in downtown Dallas…Dallas’ ultra-conservative Congressman…holding up a sign claiming that LBJ had given in to socialism.

Today, we see things like this:

Dallas is no longer home to the John Birch Society. Or the “National Indignation Convention” where angry delegates gathered by the thousands to rail against the elected government.

But Tea Party rallies around the nation continue to draw news coverage, whether or not they draw big crowds. And sometimes their signs look like this:

Friends, extremism has again infected our politics. Not at a Dallas level, but at the national one.

We know now that Tea Party leaders in Congress managed to shut down the government several weeks ago, despite pleas from those in their own party not to do so!

We know now that a majority of Democrats and Republicans never wanted the government shut down! We know now that they had the votes to keep it open!

But this minority of voices --much like the situation in Dallas in 1963-- shouted down more moderate voices and forced the government closed; costing the economy thousand of jobs, and putting fear and insecurity into the hearts of decent government workers.

I have many Republican friend. Good, kind, decent human beings. And I hear almost all of them say, “Eric, everybody I know is afraid of the Tea Party.”

And here again, the situation is much like 1963. Because it was a fear of the extremists in 1963 that led ordinary average Dallasites to not stand up against them.

Our situation, then, is much like the situation in Holmes’ time, when he said:

“When the extremist across the street, or down the block, starts spewing his epithets and hate, he must soon discover that he has a contest on his hands as we confront him with sanity and love.”

That is a line that God's Holy Spirit speaks down through the years to us today. Until people stand up to to those considered to be extremists, nothing will change.

The “sanity and love” Bill preached of --the sanity and love we need today-- comes from our faith in God. It comes from our trust in the God who is love, who seeks justice, and who calms our fears.

Christians far too often equate being “Christian” with being “nice.” But sometimes, as Holmes knew, the loving move is to speak the truth in love…to speak the truth of Power. We have done this at Northaven.

And with God’s grace and help, we’ll continue to do it in the future.

Even though it’s scary, even when the Gospel lesson reminds that standing against extremism can have a costs, the word of hope Bill Holmes offered still speaks to our souls today:

“It is not too late for us to learn that men can agree to disagree in love and still hold partisan persuasions.”

And even if you are never forced into hiding for your beliefs, hear and be reminded of Jesus’ words of hope:

 “…not a hair of your head will perish. By your endurance you will gain your souls.”

Thanks be to God for Bill Holmes, and for a legacy of 50-years of prophetic preaching.

Amen.

(1)I put both in quotes because I can not conceptualize of a struggle for the recognition of “love as either…
(2) And, dear members of our own United Methodist Church…

This Blog, "When EF Talks," has moved!

Find these posts, and more great new ones, at our new home: "WhenEfTalks.com"

Come see us there...

EF

One Thing Worse Than This

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Sun, 17 Nov 2013 15:37:00 -0600

On November 24, 1963, two days after the assassination of John F Kennedy in Dallas, Rev. William Holmes, pastor of Northaven Methodist Church in Dallas, Texas preached this sermon. The sermon, and the reaction to it, became its own story, when Walter Cronkite ran an extended excerpt on the CBS Evening News, and Rev. Holmes and family were forced into hiding due to death threats.

Find the complete text below. Or download a pdf copy here.

We believe this video clip is the excerpt which ran on the CBS Evening News.

“ONE THING WORSE THAN THIS”

Rev. William A. Holmes

A sermon delivered at Northaven Methodist Church,

November 24, 1963

“We must accept in our public life what we know is true in our private life – that nothing is achieved without effort and sacrifice.” So read the concluding words of The Strategy for Peace by John Fitzgerald Kennedy, whose own effort and sacrifice were brought to dramatic termination here in our own city, Friday afternoon. Mrs. Holmes and I were waiting at the Trade Mart luncheon when word of the President’s assassination fell upon the city, the nation and the world.

Since that time, I’ve tried to be about my business: wrestling with the question of how we, the church, a historic community, can really be the church in the midst of this most grievous historical event? The weight of wrestling with this question was not lessened when a friend from the National Council of Churches called long distance Friday evening to say: “Bill, a host of us are praying that Dallas’ clergy will have something more to say about this event than pious platitudes and sentimentalities.”

I have several alternatives before me now as I begin this sermon. I could eulogize John Kennedy. This would not be hard for me to do. Or, I could deliver myself of pent up bitterness toward Lee Harvey Oswald, his alleged assassin. This would not be hard for me to do. But after brooding prayerfully the last forty-eight hours about this sermon, offered in the name of God, I am very clear this morning that our mission in this service is neither one of eulogy nor of catharsis.

My text is taken from the Gospel of St. Matthew which tells the familiar story of Pontius Pilate delivering a carpenter from Nazareth into the hands of first century extremists, and then washing his own hands in a bowl of water, and declaring boldly to the crowd: “I take no responsibility for the death of this man.”

The subject of this sermon is: “One Thing Worse Than This.” President John Kennedy was killed two days ago in Dallas, and the one thing worse than this is that the citizens of Dallas should declare unto the world: “We take no responsibility for the death of this man.” Yet, that already seems to be the slogan of our city and some of its officials: “Dallas is a friendly city – this was the work of one madman and extremist.” “Our hearts are saddened – but our hands are clean.” How neat and simple this solution. How desperately we wish that it were true.

I am well aware this morning that the man charged with the assassination of our

President is an admitted, left-wing Marxist. But any extremism – whether it wears the hat of left-wing or right-wing – issues in the same by-products. It announces death and condemnation to all who hold a different point of view. And here is the hardest thing to say: There is no city in the United States which in recent months and years has been more acquiescent toward its extremists than Dallas, Texas. We, the majority of citizens, have gone quietly about our work and leisure, forfeiting the city’s image to the hate mongers and reactionaries in our midst. The spirit of assassination has been with us for some time – not manifest in bullets, but in spitting mouths and political invectives.

Dallas is the city:

Where, three years ago, Vice President and Mrs. Johnson were spat upon and cursed by a seething crowd in the lobby of one of our hotels.

Where, last month, hundreds of our citizens continually interrupted an address by United Nations, Ambassador Adlai Stevenson, with intentional coughs, heckling, cat-calls and Halloween noisemakers. Upon leaving the Auditorium, Mr. Stevenson was struck with a sign and spat upon.

Where, many leaders and officials expressed anxiety and “fear of incident” when first learning of the President and Mrs. Kennedy’s intention to be our guests.

Where, the day of the President and First Lady’s arrival, the Dallas Morning News ran a full page ad with the mocking caption: “Welcome Mr. Kennedy.” The ad contained a number of questions which were themselves accusations of President Kennedy, implying his cooperation with the U.S. Communist Party, his “bloodily extermination” of Anti Communist Allies, and his scrapping the “Monroe Doctrine in favor of the ‘Spirit of Moscow.’”

Where, 4th grade children in a north Dallas public school, clapped and cheered when told by their teacher of the assassination of the President last Friday afternoon.

In the name of God, what kind of city have we become?

Dallas has been my home now for the last twelve years. I hope it will be my home for many years to come. It is a city that I love and hold in high regard. We have many graces and human decencies of which I am extremely proud. But we cannot, month after month, year after year, sow seeds of intolerance and hate, and then, upon learning of the President’s visit, just throw a switch and hope all rancor will disappear.

The vocal, organized and unorganized extremists have captured us – while we were sleeping in the night. And there is no way in all creation to avoid our mutual guilt. By our timidity, we have encouraged the aggressor; by our paralysis we have given safe conduct to reactionaries; by our confusion we have promoted the clarity of evil; by our small prejudices and little hates we have prepared the way for monstrous and demonic acts that have betrayed us all. We have become a garbled people, mistaking patriotic cries for patriotism, boisterous boasts for courage, and superficial piety for faith. In this week of blood-stained history and death, we are under an imperative to cry: “Oh Lord, have mercy on us all.”

Yet still there hang the questions: “What are we to be?” “What are we to do?” By the grace of God, this much is clear. We are called to be a city where political debate continues. Different points of view must be expressed. Liberals and conservatives, Democrats and Republicans, must go on exchanging partisan convictions. The two party system is intrinsic to our way of life, and through the years the correctives, balances, and checks of these two parties, held in tension, have given depth and magnitude to our destiny as a nation and a people. But the context of that debate in Dallas – as all across our land – must be the context of mutual forbearance and good will. We must be as jealous of another person’s right to think and live as we are jealous for that right ourselves. It is not too late to learn that we can agree to disagree in love – and still hold partisan persuasions.

But where do we begin? We have our children. They were not born hating the President of the United States – though they soon learn to imitate their parents. It is not only important that we nurture them in political ideas, but in the even more important fundamentals of understanding and respect for those who hold a different point of view.

We have our neighborhoods. When the extremist across the street or down the block starts spewing his epithets and hate, he must soon discover that he has a contest on his hands as we confront him with sanity and love.

We have our precincts, where live and vital issues are discussed. It is time both liberals and conservatives took responsibility for the reactionaries and extremists in their own parties.

“Can this be done?” asked John Kennedy. “Can we meet this test of survival and still maintain our tradition of individual liberties and dissent? I think we can ... So let the debate go on – and may the best ideas prevail.”

John Kennedy is dead – killed two days ago in our own city. If Dallas rises from this monstrous moment in her history, a new city where different political opinions and the people who hold them are respected, then John Kennedy will not have died in vain.

But that remains to be seen. Until then, the one thing worse than this assassination in our midst, is that we, the citizens of Dallas, should wash our hands and say, “We take no responsibility for this man’s death.”

(At the conclusion of the worship service, Rev. Holmes was greeted at the door by the news that during that very hour, Lee Harvey Oswald had been shot)

Click here for Eric Folkerth's sermon on the 50-Year Anniversary of this sermon, looking back at the 50-Year legacy, and suggesting how relevant it still is today..

(As always, if you like this post, then "like it" or "share it" on Facebook by clicking the box below, or send it to your friends...so others can see too...and leave a comment...EF)

Hey Austin: Dallas Is Texas' Bluest County (Yes. I'm Throwing Down)

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Sat, 16 Nov 2013 11:51:00 -0600

In my last blog, I noted that sports statistics and political statistics are wonky pursuits of mine. They are for lots of folks. In both cases, one of the reasons we love them is that they give us "bragging rights."

Who's the greatest college football team of all-time? Go to the stats. They'll tell you.

Except when you stumble onto one of those years when the stats can be read different ways, and The Powers That Be proclaim a "split" national champion.

We're kinda dealing with the same thing when it comes to Democratic politics and bragging rights in Texas.

For decades, the twin assumptions have been that Dallas is one of Texas' most conservative counties; and Austin is, unquestionably, it's most liberal.

My last blog put the first myth to rest. Dallas is most definitely not Texas' most conservative county. In fact, it's not even "Red" anymore.

To most, that's mind-blowing enough. Oh, but let's make that explosion go nuclear.

I claim Dallas is Texas' Bluest County.

Again, brains just blew up all over Travis County. Which is a shame, since they take such care to avoid such environmental catastrophes down there.

From one way of parsing the data --total number of Democratic voters-- Dallas is Texas' "Bluest" County. In fact, it's not even close. Dallas blows Austin out of the water.

Again, as with the previous blog, the best data is presidential election data. So, let's look at 2012, arguably a high-turnout election in both counties, since they lean to the left, and there was a popular candidate (Obama) running for office.

Here's what happened:

As you can see, Dallas had hundreds-of-thousands more Democratic voters than Austin did. In fact, almost double. Seen from the total number of human beings who "lean" to the left, Dallas has twice the number Austin does.

Now, I am sure those blown-Austin-brains are now shrieking, "But the percentage is higher here!"

OK. Let's look at that:

As you can see, Austin in fact still does hold the percentage lead. But not by much. They lead by four points. And, more than that, I'll bet you good money most of you reading this blog had no idea it was that close.

Honesty time here. I'm politically savvy enough to know it's unlikely Dallas overtakes Austin in this area any time soon. That last four percent will be a tough needle to move here. And I'm guessing it's unlikely to shrink down there.

So, my dear beloved Austin friends, let me thrown you a bone: Feel free to cling to percentages.

Heck, it's in the data. And they say "the data don't lie."

What we've got here is a situation much like Darden Smith sings:

"Logic lives in a bucket 'o paint...maybe I'm wrong, but maybe I ain't...cause both can be spread with no trouble at all..."

So, my beloved Austin friends, feel free to keep telling yourselves you're Texas' "Bluest" County.

But, I'm gonna throw it down that Dallas is.

And I'm gonna enjoy the heck out of the debates we'll have about this for this next decade to come.

(Leave a comment below via your Twitter, Facebook or Google+ account. And, if you like this post, then "share it" or "like" it on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too. Comments here are moderated, and are approved at my descretion, when I can get to it..so be patient if they don't appear right away)

(1)I put both in quotes because I can not conceptualize of a struggle for the recognition of “love as either…
(2) And, dear members of our own United Methodist Church…

This Blog, "When EF Talks," has moved!

Find these posts, and more great new ones, at our new home: "WhenEfTalks.com"

Come see us there...

EF

Presidential Voting in Dallas County Since 1960

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Sat, 16 Nov 2013 11:15:00 -0600

As I've said many times, I love to analyze political data the way some folks love to analyze sports statistics. (OK, I love to do it with sports statistics too...)

Now and then, you may have heard me make the assertion that Dallas County has turned "Blue" and that it is unlikely to turn back, in any seismic way, for the foreseeable future.

This issue comes to me today because we're on the cusp of the 50-year anniversary of the Kennedy assassination. The other night, I spoke with Bill and Nancy Holmes on the phone.

Bill was pastor of Northaven (the church I now serve) in 1963, after Kennedy was killed here. He, and just about every other objective observer at the time, made the assertion that Dallas was conservative -- even far-right in its politics-- at that historical moment. (The new book, "Dallas 1963" chronicles this better than any other source I know).

Nancy tells me they've done quite a few interviews the past few months. (If you don't know why folks are interested in interviewing them, check out my own blog here, of this WFAA story...)

Invariably, journalists always ask them, "What is Dallas like today?"

She says they demure on that question since they haven't lived here in 45 years.

Well let me step in and answer the question they can't.

As somebody who does live here, in the same job as Holmes, and who's paid pretty close attention to changes in our city/county, let me offer some statistics. Not sociological observations. Not personal anecdotes.

Statistics.

There's no better way to answer this question than to look at the highest level voting data available: Presidential election results.

Presidential election results provide us the best possible objective data, since they are high-turnout, high-motivation elections. People who don't turn out for any other elections turn out for these, and vote in higher numbers than in any other cycle. So, it gives you the best snap-shot of who actually lives in a given county, and which way they "lean."

So, let's take a look at Dallas County presidential election results from the Kennedy/Nixon contest of 1960, through Obama/Romney in 2012:

There are obviously some years where things drew closer:
-- 1976, when folks were still angry at Nixon
-- 1992, when Ross Perot stages his quixotic campaign and brought down the totals for both sides.

So, if you look at the data, say, every ten to fifteen years, and then look more closely at the recent ten-year trend, here's what the curve looks like:

You can see a very clear trend over the past twelve years. Dallas has turned Blue. And the growth appears to be consistent.

A few observations...

When folks say, "Dallas used to be a very conservative place," you can see how that's true. Even when Kennedy/Johnson was winning Texas, Dallas County was voting Republican. That's really impressive.

And, wow, did Dallas County (and the nation) not like George McGovern.

But throwing out Reagan and Perot, you can see the overall trend pretty starkly.

And even if you want to say "Yes, Eric, but Obama has been an anomaly. It won't be the same next time..." Then I will invite you to look back at 2004...

That year, George W. Bush almost lost to John Kerry, squeaking out a one percent victory. And, don't miss this: in GWB's home county!!

The better comparison then, is 1960 to 2004 and how far Dallas has come when two so-called "Massachusetts Liberals" were on the ticket.

I bring all this up because, now and then I'm in some social setting and this is the conversation. Sometimes I'm with Dallas friends. Sometimes with national friends. And in both cases --among both Republicans, Democrats, and Independents-- there is often incredulity.

I'll say, "You know, Dallas has turned Blue," and they'll look at me with pity.
Like I've just said "I saw Bigfoot in my backyard last night."

It's always a frustrating moment, to know the data absolutely supports what you're saying, but to also know that everybody's "conventional wisdom" (progressives, moderates, and independents) is still stuck in what they know of Dallas' past.

"Ah," but you say, "Eric, Dallas may be 'Blue,' but North Texas is still 'Deeply Red.'"

So, let's look at that too. Here's the same high-level presidential election data from the Obama/Romney election, from the four most populous counties in North Texas: Dallas, Collin, Denton, and Tarrant.

Those four make up the heart of the Metroplex, and should give us a very good sense of what the situation is.

Here's what it looks like:

No, it's by no means "Blue."
But, it's also by no means "Deeply Red" either.

Yes, in this environment a 54-46 split is still a healthy win.

But my point is not to prove that North Texas as a whole is "Blue." Just that it's not "deeply conservative."

North Texas voting, on the main, is not like the massive Dallas County Republicans numbers from, say, any time between 1960-1984. (Look back at the first Dallas County chart to see what I mean by this)

Often North Texas observers appear to assume that our voting is still at those shockingly high Republican-numbers from decades long ago.
But, that's not a factual view.

Said another way: North Texas voting --in its four most-populous counties-- is more like Dallas County in 2000 than Dallas County in 1972.

So, to sum up.

Is Dallas County solidly "Blue?" Yes, absolutely.
Is North Texas "Deeply Red?" I don't see how you can say that with a straight face.

Most frustrating of all is when I hear journalists repeat the falsehood that "Dallas is, today, a conservative city" or that "North Texas is deeply conservative place."

I've heard it several times this past month. Once on KERA, during the THINK Program, and from a Dallas Morning News reporter who was the guest that day. And once from WFAA's John McCaa, in a story looking back at the Kennedy assassination that featured Bill and Nancy Holmes.

McCaa did an excellent job, reviewing the history of Dallas at the time. But one line jumped out at me and made me wince.

McCaa opined that Dallas still, "prides itself on being conservative."

Again, as we've just discussed, that's a fine opinion. But the data simply doesn't support that claim. I am sure many people do pride themselves on being conservative.

Are there many conservatives in Dallas County?
You bet. Very nice ones. Forty one percent of the City/County, statistically.
Friends I've known my whole life, and members of my family.
Decent, decent human beings, and loving people.

Are there lot's in North Texas?
Yep. Even a majority, still.
But not enough to claim "North Texas is deeply conservative."

North Texas is, more and more, evolving to be much like the nation as a whole...very close to a statistical tie between conservatives and progressives.

The most accurate description would be to say that the City/County of Dallas trends solidly to the "left-of-center."
And that North Texas trends just to the "right-of-center."

Fifty-years after the Kennedy assassination --the event that first trained the inquiring eyes of the nation onto Dallas' politics-- it's important to look at how things are now; not just how we remember them to be.

Btw, my favorite wonky stat is even more mind-blowing than all this:

Not only has Dallas turned "Blue," but Dallas is the "Bluest" county in Texas.
That's right Austin, read on, and weep.

(Leave a comment below via your Twitter, Facebook or Google+ account. And, if you like this post, then "share it" or "like" it on Facebook by clicking the box below, so others can see too. Comments here are moderated, and are approved at my descretion, when I can get to it..so be patient if they don't appear right away)

(1)I put both in quotes because I can not conceptualize of a struggle for the recognition of “love as either…
(2) And, dear members of our own United Methodist Church…

This Blog, "When EF Talks," has moved!

Find these posts, and more great new ones, at our new home: "WhenEfTalks.com"

Come see us there...

EF

600

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Fri, 1 Nov 2013 08:00:00 -0500

So, apparently this is my 600th blog entry.

Yikes. That's a whompin' load 'o writing.

My blog's title, of course, is a riff on the old EF Hutton ads that ran during the 70s and 80s. If you watched TV back then, you couldn't help but see these ubiquitous commercials. Here's one version...

They repeated that gag so many times, I'm sure it eventually got stale, even for them.

So, "When EF Talks..." became my blog's name.

Blog writer will tell you that one of the tricky parts is never really knowing just how many folks are "listening," if any.

Despite stats that show thousands of reads on certain entries --and hundreds of thousands all time-- you never really know just who's out there on the other side of those internet tubes, and whether or not they are "listening."

You publish some entries, thinking, "Oh man...THIS one will be great..."
And when you check back later, almost nobody's read/commented at all.

Other times, I'll offhandedly post something, only to find it starts a firestorm of comment and debate.
Go figure.

So, it leaves you to wonder who's really out there, and what they're really thinking.

But, more and more each passing year, folks come up to me in public to tell me they do listen.
They tell me the love what I post on Facebook, or what I'm writing here.
Some even tell me that it helps them cope with their life a little better.

Those in-person comments help make all the time time spent in this digital world worthwhile.

So, thanks for them.

The subtitle of the blog is "Spirituality. Music. Politics. Life."

I intentionally chose to list those four things because I didn't want anybody to be surprised to see any of that here. Some blogs are "Spiritual." Some are "Political." Some are "Musical," etc.

This one hops around all over the place, depending upon the day. That makes it a lot like my life. So, welcome to my world, I suppose.

There's a lot of really great entries back in the archives here. If you click my little picture to the right, it will pop up the "Categories" menu, and you can peruse them yourself.

One of the best places to start might be the "Favorite Entries" category. Blogs end up in that category either because a) they've gotten a lot of reads, or b) I personally want them to be highlighted.

It's a good cross-section of the writing in all the areas of this blog. And if you're looking for a quick-and-dirty retrospective, this would be the place.

Thanks again for all the reads, comments, and support through the years.

Eric

A New iTunes Single and Reflections on 50 Years

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Tue, 29 Oct 2013 15:42:00 -0500

I'm pleased to announce that my song "Sitting In the Trade Hall (11.22.63)" (1) is now available on iTunes as a single. This song will eventually be on my new CD, whenever it's finally done. But given that we're a month-out from the 50th Anniversary of the Kennedy assassination, I thought it was a good time to release a single now.

I'd be honored for you all to give a listen, and pleased to have you download it for yourself.

Link here.

It's a song I wrote some years ago, from the perspective of adults who lived in Dallas at the time of this horrific event.

Here's a video for the song:

But since I love blogging, I thought I'd not only announce the song, but also talk more about both it and my own thoughts on the Kennedy assassination.

Fifty-years is a long time.
Think of it this way:1963 is to Now.
What 1913 was to 1963.

And, as we know, time moves even faster now than it did back then. World events --assassinations, murders, shootings-- come at us like water out of a fire hydrant. I'm not saying this is good. I'm just saying, "it is."

Like September 11th in the present day, the Kennedy assassination was the most deeply scarring domestic event of a generation. Nobody escaped being changed by it. And, everybody alive at the time remembers it.

Well, everybody but me...

One of the strange facts about us late-generation Baby Boomers (the President and Michelle Obama are others, btw...) is that even though we are generally lumped together with the "Boomers," the memories we share are with our younger "Buster" brethren and sistren.

We have few conscious memories of most of the world events and trends that shaped the lives of most Boomers, even though they tell us we are one. This was always very very strange for me, growing up. And never stranger than when it came to the Kennedy assassination.

Yes, I lived in Dallas at the time (ten minutes from the scene). But at fourteen-months-and-one-day-old; there's no conscious memory for me.

So, while everybody I grew up with has a "Where were you?" story, I don't. Stranger still, the stories I grew up hearing were first hand.

The people I grew up with --some of my parent's friends, and friend's parents-- have memories of being in the parade route, or at Market Hall waiting for the lunch. (I'll talk more about them in a moment...)

Dallas' Silent Burden
I think it's important for folks beyond Dallas to understand this: While the Kennedy assassination no doubt changed you, it specially changed our whole city. It stayed with us in ways that it did not stay with you.

When I was kid, everywhere we traveled around the nation, people would say to me,
"Oh...you're from Dallas....that's where Kennedy was killed..."

And whether they meant it or not, there was a patina of shame woven into their words.

"Oh...you're from that place..."

Everywhere I went, I grew up feeling the shame from an event I didn't remember. Even when we went to Russia in the early 1990s, the people there knew Dallas for two things:
1) The Dallas Cowboys.
2) Kennedy.

New Russian friends --with whom we shared no language-- mouthed the word "Kennedy" to us, and then stood before us in awkward silence no words could have ever vanquished.

But here's the point not to miss: As a kid growing up in the Preston Hollow neighborhood of Dallas, in the shadows of both the physical buildings and the historical time, nobody ever talked about the Kennedy assassination.

If adults around me ever did mention it, it was in hushed tones. Hushed, pained, perhaps even humiliated, tones. It was unmentionable. It was a heavy pall, a weight in the shoulders of every adult I knew.

And the message I learned and intuited, as a kid, was that I was not to talk about it either.

So it was that I was almost out of high school before I knew for sure which of those downtown buildings was the "School Book Depository," or where "Dealey Plaza" really was.

The biggest, most momentous thing ever to happen in my hometown.
Something in our backyard that was debated, discussed, and lamented the world over.

But not here. Nobody ever spoke in words about it here. But everybody felt it.

And it was horrible.

It was that sense of guilt that inspired my song.
I wanted to write a song about these adults I knew, growing up. My parent's friends. My friend's parents. All those adults who never, ever talked about it, but whose guilt and shame I could palpably feel as a child.

For better or for worse, average folks in Dallas took the Kennedy assassination hard. They took it to heart. Afterwards, there was, in some national circles, a kind of "What's wrong with Dallas?" debate.

As I've said, today however --in the light of dozens more crazed lone-gunmen over decades that have come and gone-- we understand that these things just happen sometimes. They happen just about everywhere now, it seems. Crazed gunmen strike lots of places.

But there was a kind of all-pervasive Kennedy guilt that overcame Dallas in the years afterwards. You can ask anybody who was an adult here at the time, and they'll tell you about it.

You could make a very very strong psychological argument that Dallas' reputation as a city that always wants to "look good" can be traced back to that very day. You could make the strong argument that, although everybody knew it wasn't really Dallas' fault, that many adults here still secretly prayed the last line of the song,

"O dear God, don't let 'em say it was our fault…"

When I started writing songs, I knew I'd write about this. Not about the assassination, or even really even about Kennedy, but about the people of Dallas. The people with the heaviness in their shoulders, and the fear that they might, somehow, really be guilty.

The Truth of Dallas in 1963
For the record, I don't think Dallas killed Kennedy. But, as I've just said, we've always felt the guilt the song hints at.

And, if we are totally honest, some of the guilt had real basis events in and around Dallas at the time. I know that sounds contradictory. So, bear with me. You see, the song itself gets at some of the deeper truth.

The deeper truth is that, in November of 1963, Dallas was an extremely conservative place. The John Birch Society had one of its largest outposts in Dallas. As the song notes, people had, in fact, spit on Adlai Stevenson. Others had pushed around LBJ and Lady Bird on the streets of downtown. The day of Kennedy's arrival, there were "Wanted for Treason" posters on light poles around the city. There were many other things I could mention. As Casey Stengal said, "You can look it up."

UPDATE!
I have recently found the incredible new book, "Dallas, 1963" which chronicles all of this with staggeringly accurate footnotes and detail. I know of no greater source for understanding the Dallas I grew up hearing about all my life. Details behind the headlines I always knew...

These were known parts of local history. In 1963, "liberals" were, in fact, not tolerated very well. Average folks? They were giddy and uncomfortable that the president was coming.
Dallas was a conservative place.
He was a northeastern liberal.

But! He was also the President. They were glad to see him visit. Puffed up with civic pride.

But, the visit was also controversial. And as the song ironically suggests, I imagine the average person would be pleased to have him back in Washington the next day. Dallas wasn't a very big city as of yet. It was not the teaming, international city of today. This was the biggest thing ever to happen in anybody's memory. But nobody was quite sure how to handle it.

So, that's what I tried to capture in the song...
... That sense of real pride...
... That sense of warriness over a "liberal" coming to Dallas...
... That horrible sense of guilt that descended like a 50-year pall.

I'm very proud of the song. It's said that the best songs are about what you "know," and those of us here know this event better than anyone. My friend Alan Gann once told me, "Only somebody from Dallas could write that song."

I'm grateful for Tim McLemore's great piano track in the song, and for the unbelievable fiddle-work of the incomparable Reggie Rueffer. He did that fiddle solo in about two-takes. It was amazing to watch/hear.

As I've said, hope you like the song.

But, wait, there's more...

The Past and Future Collide
This history, this song, and even my ministry, would collide in ways I could not expect, when I was appointed as Senior Pastor of Northaven Church more than a decade ago now.

Having grown up here --just up the road from Dealey Plaza, and just down the road from Northaven Church-- I suppose these worlds were bound intersect.

For once I was at Northaven, I was reminded of a story I'd heard, years before. In fact, the story was in my mind when I'd written the song, fifteen years before coming to Northaven.

Three days after JFK was gunned down in Dallas, Rev. Bill Holmes, Northaven's Senior Pastor at the time, preached what became a quite controversial sermon.

The title of the sermon was "The One Thing Worse Than This." And while I won't repeat the whole thing here, the gist of it was that this assassination was, truly, the "worst thing" that had ever happened to Dallas.

But, to Holmes, "the one thing worse that this" would be for Dallas not to take a hard look at the harshly polarizing rhetoric and politics of its time…the things I've just mentioned…the spitting at Stevenson…the pushing of LBJ…etc…

And Holmes listed one thing he'd been told about that week: that schoolchildren had "cheered" when told of Kennedy's assassination. It was this last example of intolerance that garnered the most attention. News folks heard about the sermon, and a crew from the CBS Evening News stopped by the church early the next week, and filmed Bill Holmes re-preaching the sermon to an empty sanctuary. (Remember: no videotape in those days…)

UPDATE!
I have found a video clip of the sermon! Please watch it below.

Here's a few quotes from that famous sermon:

"We, the majority of (Dallas) citizens, have gone quietly about our work and leisure, forfeiting the city’s image to the hate mongers and reactionaries in our midst. The spirit of assassination has been with us for some time. Not manifest in bullets but in spitting mouths and political invectives..."

"We have many graces and human decencies of which I am extremely proud. But we cannot, month after month, year after year, sow the seeds of intolerance and hate, and then upon learning of the President’s visit – just throw a switch and hope all rancor will disappear. The vocal, organized and unorganized extremists have captured us – while we were sleeping in the night..."

Walter Cronkite ran lengthy excerpts of it on his newscast.

Then, the you-know-what hit the fan. Holmes got death threats and, at the suggestion of the Dallas Police, went into hiding for a week. City leaders quickly rose to deny that "children had cheered."(2)

UPDATE!
I have found video of the event in 2007, where Holmes finally reveals the name of this teacher, and compellingly answers the critics who claim this never happened. Find it here.

It became one of the seminal events, if not the seminal event, in the history of Northaven Church.

Folks left. Others who stayed were shocked.

They wondered, "Why the outcry?" Holmes had done nothing but speak the truth, after all.

And, even if you somehow choose to deny all the things Holmes listed, the mere fact that he was forced into hiding for a week proves his point, doesn't it? The reaction to the sermon proved the point of it.

Now, it is sometimes said that "timing is everything," and some have suggested that perhaps Holmes' timing for such a prophetic sermon was questionable. Three-days later...while everyone was still grieving...was that the time to make such prophetic statements?

Timing aside, Holmes' main point reverberates down with us to this day. Hateful speech can contribute to hateful action. As I pointed out two years ago, we don't like hearing this any more today than we did back then. But it's always been a truism, in every generation.

No, Dallas didn't kill Kennedy. But that guilt, that feeling that we might have something to feel guilty about, has driven this town ever since.

Since being at Northaven, I've met actual people who were actually there. Meaning, folks who were in the room at the Trade Mart, awaiting President Kennedy. Our friend and Northaven member, Jan Sanders, was among them. I must tell you, it's been surreal to actually meet folks who were actually there, in that room I picture in the song. Jan says they huddled around a few radios, trying to figure out what was going on....and only did it gradually dawn on them that something truly horrible had happened.

The truth is, the balloons would never fall. The city would never really say, "Welcome to Dallas!"

"Everything Is Different Now"
Or, Is it?
Don Henley sings that line. And everything is different in Dallas now.
But is everything different everywhere?

One thing that's different is that after decades of silence, people started talking. All credit to the Sixth Floor Museum for that. Opened in 1989, it's one of the only places I always strongly encourage out-of-towners to visit.

I know it's been a healing place for everyone who has visited, but especially for us Dallas folk. I cried, almost heaving tears, the first time I went through…just recollecting all this stuff…remembering all that silently-carried burden of all those average folks who lived here…remembering the senseless loss of a great President; who might have merely been tolerated here, but who was deeply loved elsewhere.
So, yes, Dallas finally learned to start talking about it.

But the other thing not to miss is that Dallas is also much different now. Everybody in the city, including the long-timers at Northaven, struggle to remember this. It's so easy to get caught up in the past you know, and "assume" you know Dallas now.

Politically, for example, Democrats win every county-wide election now, and have for a decade. And as I've written numerous times, this is a shift unlikely to reverse itself in any seismic way. Put another way...with all apologies to Austin, Dallas is Texas' "Bluest" city (In terms of the sheer number of total voters, not percentage...).

Dallas is a genuinely multi-ethnic, international city. Hundreds of thousands of people have moved into the area from elsewhere, bringing with them values that have nudged out our old provincialisms.

Until you understand facts like these, you won't "get" where Dallas is now.

This means that Northaven --deeply scarred by the reaction the Holmes' sermon-- is no longer a tiny fringe progressive oasis in a conservative desert. If you asked longtimers, that's really how they've seen themselves all these years. In fact, just in Methodist circles, there are easily a half-dozen genuinely "progressive" congregations popping up around the city today.

Northaven haven't changed.
But Dallas, has around us.

It's become more like Northaven, and Northaven is less of the odd duck in its midst. (Personally, I believe this is a part of why we've grown some in recent years...)

So, as I said at the start, fifty years is a long time. It would be a mistake, deeply wrong, for conservatives or liberals (or anybody in between) to believe Dallas is the city it was fifty years ago.

Having said that, I look around at extremists like Ted Cruz and some in the Tea Party, and I wonder:

"So, how different are we, really?"

And what it seems to me is: the hard core, ultra-conservatism that infected Dallas in 1963, now moves freely in our national politics.

Tea Party rhetoric often sounds very John Birch to me. Or, Google the name "National Indignation Convention," and be amazed at how similar it is to the Tea Party movement.

More often that I'd like, Ted Cruz sounds like Bruce Alger.
More often that I'd like, unelected leaders like Sarah Palin sound like General Edwin Walker.

And if you didn't grow up around here, and don't know those historical leaders, Google them. Or, better yet, give a read to this book I mentioned earlier. It's amazing.

One more thing is similar then as now, and it's something that really drove the anger of Bill Holmes in that famous sermon: Ordinary people often refuse to stand-up against their own extremists.

In the 1963, Holmes noted that the average Dallasite was not a "John Birch conservative."
Nor is the average Republican in our nation today a "Tea Partier."
(Furthermore: not all who agree with Tea Party principles are "extremists")

And yet in both cases, in both historical times, a silent majority allowed extremists to be "out-sized" in their political and social influence.

The case of the recent government shutdown is "Exhibit A." We know now that there were always plenty of votes among moderate Republicans to keep the shutdown from happening in the first place.

But it happened anyway. The extremists in the Tea Party pushed for it, nobody stood up to them, and they got their way.

And what I keep hearing from Republican friends is this:

"Eric, everybody I know is afraid of the Tea Party."

Let me be clear, I am not afraid of them. I am annoyed by them.
Everybody I know is annoyed by them.

But I know this. What Bill Holmes said in 1963 is still true today: until people stand up to them, nothing will change.

This was precisely the situation in 1963, when Bill Holmes' called for regular citizens to stand up and reclaim their city. And through a twisting and turning five-decade path, that did happen here. Dallas changed.

But what Holmes said to Dallas 50 years ago, we can say to the nation today:

“It is not too late for us to learn that men can agree to disagree in love and still hold partisan persuasions. Where do we begin?

We have our children.
They were not born hating the President of the United States. They soon learned to imitate their parents. It is not only important that we nurture them in political ideas, but in the even more fundamentals of understanding and respect for those who old a different point of view.

We have our neighborhoods.
When the extremist across the street, or down the block, starts spewing his epithets and hate, he must soon discover that he has a contest on his hands as we confront him with sanity and love.

We have our precincts, where live and vital issues are discussed.

It is time both liberals and conservatives took responsibilities for the reactionaries and extremists in their own parties.”

Everything has changed here. But old issues seem to rear their head in every new generation.

We can learn from the past, though.

Thanks be to God, we don't ever have to repeat it.

(1) I realize that this was not actually the name of the venue. Kennedy was to be the guest at a lunch in the Dallas Trade Mart. The actual room was called "The Great Hall" which, lyrically, would have worked. But I didn't know this fact when I wrote/recorded the song. Also, I wanted to have the name "Trade" in there, to hint at where the room was. So, yes, I knew what I was doing when I titled the song this way.
It's just a song…go with it…

(2) I, for one, have always been puzzled by the tempest over "children laughing." City leaders, and sincere Dallas historians, continue to deny that it ever happened. However please do not miss this inescapable point: Bill Holmes and his family went into hiding for a week after the sermon. Even if you choose to deny the truth of children clapping, you cannot deny that the reaction to the sermon proved the point of the sermon itself.
UPDATE!
I have found video of the event in 2007, where Holmes finally reveals the name of this teacher, and compellingly answers the critics who claim this never happened. Find it here.

Beyond this, another teacher, Joanna Shields (who you can still find in the pews of Northaven every Sunday, to this day) also reports children cheered at her school too.

All the other stuff…spitting on Stevenson…pushing LBJ…the "wanted for treason" poster with JFK's image…the large John Birch group….all these are undisputed by anyone studying the history. So, it seems patently silly to pretend that debunking the "children cheered" story changes Rev. Holmes' main point.

It didn't then. It doesn't now.

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(1)I put both in quotes because I can not conceptualize of a struggle for the recognition of “love as either…
(2) And, dear members of our own United Methodist Church…

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The Metaphor of Birmingham

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 17:14:00 -0500

As a Methodist preacher, I've always been humbled to recall that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's famous "Letter From Birmingham Jail" was written, in part, to Methodist bishops.

They weren't the only recipients, of course. The letter was a response to previous statements from Alabama-area clergy of several Christian denominations. But at least two of the recipients were Methodist bishops of that era.

Some Methodist preachers in Dr. King's day stood with him in the struggle for Civil Rights. Others, as the Birmingham letter reminds us, urged him to slow down, take more time, allow the natural progression of things to unfold. They suggested that his presence, and the presence of other "outsiders" leading demonstrations was not helpful to their community.

You can read what they wrote him here.

Dr. King, of course, eloquently and carefully responded to them, outlining the many reasons he could not in good conscience "cease and desist."

All this history comes swirling back to us this weekend, as Bishop Melvin Talbert of the United Methodist Church prepares to perform a ceremony for two gay men in Birmingham, Alabama. Joe Openshaw and Bobby Prince are already legally married in the state of Washington. But Bishop Talbert will preside at a church ceremony for them tomorrow.

Once again, the setting is Birmingham.
Once again, Methodist bishops are asking somebody to slow down.

Here's what they've said: "The Executive Committee of the Council of Bishops has urged Bishop Melvin Talbert not to perform the same gender marriage in Birmingham, Alabama."

You can read their whole statement here.

I recognize that many African-Americans react strongly, and negatively, to the equation of the LGBT struggle in the Church with the struggle for Civil Rights for African Americans in the United States.

And as I have listened carefully to these critiques over time, I have become more careful with my own direct equation of these two "struggles." Bluntly, a straight white male, not affected by either struggle directly, I've learned caution and listening are essential.

The primary complaint I hear from African-Americans is that the depth of their struggle --the literal deaths and injuries to so many persons, over centuries in America-- cannot be directly equivalent to the struggle for inclusion in the Church of LGBT persons.

The blood of slaves, Civil War soldiers, Civil Rights heroes, and ordinary African-Americans over generations, surely tells us this critique has validity, and should give us pause from making direct comparisons.

But I love to look for metaphorical truths. Frankly, all truth is metaphorical. We think, speak, act, and live metaphorically in our heart of hearts, in every moment, whether we often realize this. George Lakoff is right.

Therefore, I do think there is a strong, metaphorical connection between these two struggles.

The form of the struggle is very much the same.
The metaphor of the struggle is very much the same.

And Birmingham, I am sure by design, is once again at the epicenter.

I am confident Bishop Talbert, an African-American himself, had this all this in mind when he agreed to perform this ceremony in the first place.

In King's day, laws were not changing quickly. The pleas of the clergy to wait and "work through the courts" seems hollow now, as we look back through history. I have the very strong belief that as we look back at this historical time, we will say the same thing about this struggle.

One day, LGBT persons will gain full inclusion in the United Methodist Church. I am confident of this, because I am confident that this movement (like Civil Rights) is not just a movement of rights, but also a movement of God's Holy Spirit. And it is not possible to stop a movement of God's Holy Spirit.

Yes, you can argue that Bishop Talbert and others should wait for the Judicial Council and General Conference. But savvy "vote counters" of today, like their counterparts in the Civil Rights struggle understand that while the votes are not present at the General Conference level, the hearts of American United Methodists already support full inclusion for LGBT persons.

I've blogged about this movement before here. And I've made my own case for embracing Christian Same Sex Marriage here.

Among other things, Bishop Talbert has said this:

“We as the church have the privilege of inviting people to come to God’s table, but we do not say which ones can and which ones can’t…They are all created in the image of God. They all have a place at God’s table. They should not be excluded.”

When I am trying to make a decision, one of the most morally clarifying questions I ask myself is:

"What will my grandchildren think of what I did and what I stood for?"

Notice, I am not saying "What will my grandchildren's values be?" That's not what's important to me.

What is important to me is:
How will they see, judge, evaluate what I did, and did not do in my historical age?
When I had the chance to stand up and be counted, what did I do?
Did I just hold my breath and hope that society would magically change?
Or was I standing on the side of moral right, and the march of God's history?

Friends, our grandchildren will not understand what the big-fat deal was concerning the full inclusion of LGBT persons in the United Methodist Church. For those who choose to stand against the tide of God's Holy Spirit on these issues, they will likely judge us quite harshly. I simply invite you consider, as you may be willing, the truth of this last sentence.

But for now, the focus is back on Birmingham...as metaphor, symbol, and a very real place filled with very real beating human hearts.

So, where do you stand on all this?

Where do I?

Good question. So let me answer it here.

Remembering that not every Civil Rights advocate went to jail, marched, or led a public movement…
Remembering that in every new struggle for the freedom of God's people, there are always multiple places to stand on the side of God's love and justice…

I can say this without hesitation: God bless Bishop Talbert. God bless everyone involved in the struggle for the full inclusion of LGBT persons. God bless those willing to push the boundaries, as well as those who believe they cannot. God bless Joe and Bobby.

But I also say this...God bless those who opposed same-sex marriage, and who believe all of this is horribly wrong. God bless those who can never imagine the future church where same-sex marriage will be embraced and practiced.

God bless us all.

Give us the courage to see the metaphor of Birmingham, to feel the radical inclusive love of the God, and to hear the voices of our grandchildren who, with God, stand as our most formidable judges.

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The Dallas Cowboys Are Losers

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Thu, 5 Sep 2013 14:55:00 -0500

"Sitting back trying to recapture,
a little of the glory of,
well time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister
but boring stories of…glory days"
-- Bruce Springsteen

The NFL season starts tonight, which means tonight is the first night I'll actually pay attention. Local Dallas media still act as if Cowboys training camp is some big deal.

But, why?

Why should we pay attention to the Cowboys' pre-season and training camp?
It doesn't count for anything.
And the truth is this: the Dallas Cowboys are losers.

I don't mean that pejoratively. I mean it statistically.

Many of us grew up with the Cowboys of the 70s. On my elementary school playground, we debated Morton vs. Staubach. We knew the players. They went to the playoffs every year, or so it seemed. They won two Super Bowls.

They did it again in the 1990s. "The Triplets." Three more Super Bowls. A whole new generation of kids who grew up with the Dallas Cowboys as "winners."

But like the Springsteen song, that's just "glory days" now. The boring tales of another generation.

What about now?

Let me offer you a statistic that blew my mind when I realized it…

My daughter Maria is just about to be sixteen. (In a few weeks…)

During her lifetime, the Dallas Cowboys have won one playoff game.
They've only played seven during those sixteen years of her lifetime.

For comparison's sake, in the sixteen years prior to her birth, the Cowboys played 25 playoff games, and won three Super Bowls.

My point is this: If you are a sixteen-year-old girl or boy --or any kid in the middle of your high school years here in the Metroplex-- you have never known a "winning" Dallas Cowboys team.

You have seen the Texas Rangers go to two World Series' and many playoff games.
You have watched Dirk and the Dallas Mavericks sing "We Are the Champions."
Heck, you've even seen the Dallas Stars go to 25 playoff games and win a Stanley Cup.

The only local major sport franchise to not play in their sport's championship event during your lifetime is the Dallas Cowboys.

This is what I mean when I say "The Dallas Cowboys are losers."

Again, it's not a value-judgment. It's factual.

So, I no longer pay attention to the preseason and training camp because the Rangers are always in the midst of a run for the Division title. There's too much to hold my attention there.

That's waaay more interesting than hearing about some unproven rookies, the most recent player arrest, the new stadium, or anything else the Jones family is doing.

Honestly? I really don't pay much attention to the regular season either. I can't remember the last time I watched an entire Cowboys game.

Truthfully? I'm not entirely certain Maria ever has.

I remember watching religiously as a kid. As a kid, I recall hanging on ever play.

Now? The terrible truth is I'm well beyond caring. I don't hate the Cowboys. I can't even despise Jerry Jones. He is what he is. They are who they are. And it's pretty clear that they are statistical losers.

So why get upset about it? Why revel in the "glory days" when there are other great teams to cheer for in our city? I can't rail against him or against them. I can't "hate" Tony Romo. He's actually a pretty decent NFL quarterback with a terrible offensive line.

But, year after year, the Jones family goes for sexy position players, and neglects basic things like an offensive line. And so, year after year, the Cowboys end up losers.

"It is what it is." Why let it upset you?

But! What I find interesting is this…

When I see the kids at my daughter's school?
They're wearing Rangers jerseys.
Red ones.
All over the place.
Boys and girls.

The kids I see? They wear Darvish and Dirk way more than Dez.

For example, when the Rangers signed Yu, my daughter wanted to run out and get a Darvish jersey. It was to go along with the Kinsler jersey she already had at home. She's crazy about Kinsler.

All through summer, she looks at updates on the game scores on her phone, and will say things like "Dad, we're up 2-1 in the eighth…"

She has never, ever updated me on a Dallas Cowboys score. As I said, I'm not sure she's ever watched a complete Dallas Cowboys game.

I'm not sure, beyond Tony Romo, that she could name another Cowboy who might even have his name on a jersey. I know she's never considered wearing one.

My point is that I have not failed as a parent. What's happening is a very predictable shift away from the Cowboys among kids my daughter's age. They will grow up remembering Dirk, Jet, Kinsler and Elvis. The average high school kid today has no idea who Miles Austin is.

It seems to me, if I were the Jones family, this would terrify me. I mean, sure, their franchise is still the most valuable out there. Sure, they are selling a lot of a jerseys to...I don't know…somebody…I'm not sure who.

But over these last sixteen years, they've lost the hearts and minds of an entire new generation.

So I won't be watching because it's just all so boring and predictable.

Now, as I said at the start, I will keep up with the NFL. Because Fantasy Football has saved my interest in the NFL, and I watch the overall picture very carefully. Tonight is opening night, and I've got a tight end to monitor!

And, I will keep up with college football every Saturday, because it's waaay more awesome than the pros.

But, I've got better things to do with my Sunday afternoon than watch an entire Dallas Cowboys game.

And those kids won't be watching either, because they never have. And I am starting to wonder whether they ever will.

If I were the Jones family, I would think this final point would scare me. Way more than a thousand angry middle-aged guys like me ranting about the "Glory Days."

But what do I know?
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The Sisyphus of White Rock Lake

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Fri, 16 Aug 2013 19:34:00 -0500

The Sisyphus of White Rock Lake

Here's a picture from today's bike ride around White Rock Lake. For those unfamiliar, it's up on the dam, looking south toward the spillway. There's about a 60 foot grassy drop off to the right, and you can see a bit of the lake to the left.

I saw this turtle on my first lap. (He hid when I pulled out the camera...)

I've named him "The Sisyphus of White Rock Lake." I've seen this same thing three or four times on rides this year. Best I can tell, these little guys climb all the way up the grassy side of the dam. In fact, today I saw this guy the first time around. He was gone by my second lap. But later on my third, an entirely different turtle was trying the same thing about 200 feet South towards the spillway.

What must they think after climbing all that way, yearning for still green waters, only to meet two impenetrable feet of concrete?

Do they feel defeated?

Is this what it was like when Manifest Destiny finally stared out over the big blue Pacific?

And am I any better, riding loop after loop around this same concrete trail? I rode five loops today (50 miles). I've ridden dozens this year.

Am I moving forward?

Just in circles?

And how could I ever tell, really?

Maybe life is both.

Maybe it's moving in circles --trekking up and down that hill time and time again--but also, sometimes imperceptibly, moving forward.

Lord knows, my life, has taught me this.

You can wake to the same locale every day for decades, as I have now, and it will never be exactly the same.

The lake has taught me that too.

Take today, for example. When I started out about noon, it was overcast and (I kid you not) cool. In the 70s, which is unheard of this time of year. The lake itself by was pure green glass. No wind at all. No lapping waves anywhere around the shore for the first three laps. Wish I'd stopped to take a shot of that. (Here's an awesome sunset from last year instead...)

But during my third trip around, the clouds burned off, and suddenly it was hot. The wind picked up. First from the East. Then the West. It was like the wind was surprised by this sudden entrance of the Sun and couldn't make up its mind.

The shadows are different too, on a mid-day ride, than they are during my usual sunset rides. The shady places you know you can count on near sunset are totally useless at noon, and you have to re-learn where to stop so you can cool down.

All this is to say, the lake teaches me what life teaches me: Nothing is ever the same, even when looks like it is.

The chemists and physicists will tell you, even the rocks slowly sag and change shape...big rocks that look like they haven't moved in centuries, are always changing if we'll stop to notice.

Sisyphus was cursed, but I like to imagine he had read Heraclitus.

Like the turtle up the hill, he was cursed to roll that dam stone up the hill time after time.

But surely it was never the same hill, yes?

I mean, it couldn't have been.

I've got a fantasy that, cursed as he was, now and then he came to see even beauty in what others saw as mind-numbing repetition.

Wonder what these turtles read and how many times they've made this climb?

Wonder how many times we will?

Wonder if we'll notice that it's always a new hill, a new lap, a new life?

What grace it is when we're given those eyes!

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Enough Culpability for Us All

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Tue, 30 Jul 2013 12:04:00 -0500

As she often does my colleague, Rev. Christy Thomas has a blog well worth your time today.

Her title is "Incarnational Theology and Corrective Rape."
As you might surmise, it's a hard read. Like Christy, I invite you to read the New York Times article that inspired her.

It talks about the horrific practice in some African countries of "corrective rape," a sick attempt to "cure" women of being lesbian.

What Christy helpfully does is to connect the dots to the theology that supports such things.

Her most powerful section is this:

"...Many sexual practices are highly destructive to the mind, body and soul. But this focus on homosexuality as the primary sexual ”deviance” that must be addressed in society today has missed the mark...
In light of this, I want to know how many of the African clergy in The United Methodist Church have given either implicit or complicit support to the “corrective rape” movement? Who are those in our African connection that speak out against this societal horror? Who are those whose silence gives approval?"

Christy recalls being at the same General Conference I was --Fort Worth in 2008-- and of hearing African delegates say horrific things on the floor of the plenary session.

Specifically, in front of the thousands of gathered World Wide United Methodists, I heard an African delegate describe homosexuality as "of the devil."

So, I go one step further. I don't believe the focus should simply be on the African context. Yes, there are some deeply disturbing cultural practices there, being supported by some of the theology of the some of the Christian church there.

But the questions, and the culpability, do not stop at the shores of Africa.

All United Methodists, world-wide, must look at our own culpability.

Practices like "corrective rape," supported by some within the Christian Church, and phrases like "homosexuality is of the devil" are not the opposites of our stated theology. The horrific point we cannot turn away from is that the phrase "incompatible with Christian teaching" is not different from the theology that supports "corrective rape," but along the same spectrum; albeit in a watered-down form.

I am most certain that my saying this will anger some. So be it.

I will only remind you that it's a point I've made before, when I preached on the outbreak of LGBT bullying a few years back. I won't go back over all the points I made then, but will refer to this blog I wrote at the time.

Here's a bit of what I said then:

"So, the clear call is to repentance -- to renounce and reject theology, spirituality, and practice that excludes, marginalizes and otherwise harms LGBT persons from understanding or hearing God's full and unconditional love for them.
"But beyond this call for repentance to the Church of Jesus Christ, I want to address a final word to clergy and lay folk who may be in churches in the so-called "big fat middle." (I call many of these churches "don't ask, don't tell" churches...) They are churches who never say anything, positive or negative, about gay or lesbian people, in part because they live in constant fear of controversy. They are nice people. They are good people.
But I am here to say that this silence has become culpability. This silence, is now, itself, sin. Because of the existence of great swaths of anti-gay theology in "Christian" churches, it becomes even more imperative for those in the middle to speak out. So, if you are a clergy who has always been silently supportive, now is the time to publicly say something. If you are a congregation that is mostly "don't ask, don't tell," now is the time to say something.
Study after study shows that one of the words young people under 40 mostly closely associate with the Church (capital C) of Jesus Christ is the word "homophobic." That should tell us something. The reason to speak now is because if you do not, many will assume that you agree with an anti-gay theology. Future bullies will hear and believe that. Future LGBT teens will hear and believe that. Your silence could, quite literally, help kill people"

Please read that last paragraph again.

I said this in 2010, and I still believe it today. And if you change the setting to Africa, and change the word "bullies" to "corrective rapists," and you will find it's the same issue in different contexts. The questions and the culpability do not stop at the shores of Africa. There is enough for us all.

So, I thank Christy for providing an international context for just how dangerous this theology can sometimes become.

She's absolutely right: This anti-gay theology is really anti-incarnational.
Which to me means, of course, it's anti-Christian.

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More Evidence that America's "Mission Field" Future is Progressive

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Tue, 23 Jul 2013 16:44:00 -0500

Several online friends sent this essay to me this week:

Religious Progressives Predicted To Outnumber Conservatives, Survey Finds

It's well worth the read, and cites data that comes from the Public Religion Research Institute. A few standout quotes:

"With each generation, the popularity of religious conservatism has declined. Forty-seven percent of the Silent Generation (ages 66 to 88) are religious conservatives, compared with 34 percent of Baby Boomers, 23 percent of Gen Xers and 17 percent of Millennials."

But, it's a more complex picture than simply claiming a decline of religious conservatism, or a dramatic rise in religious progressives:

"What we see is not a one-to-one replacement of religious conservatives with religious progressives," Jones explained. Instead, the ranks of religious conservatives over time are declining, while religious progressives maintain their share of the population. "But there's also this growing number of non-religious Americans." If the trends continue, religious progressives eventually will outnumber religious conservatives."

I am not at all surprised by these results and this data. It absolutely mirrors things I have been saying for quite some time.

Let me remind you of several blogs I have written on these subjects. First, just after the presidential election, I reminded everyone that that data shows quite clearly that the United States is a "center/left," not "center/right" nation.

Find it here: "What the Presidential Election Should Teach The United Methodist Church"

Again, it's not to say that the US is a socialist paradise. But the compelling evidence is that the nation continues to move to the left, while our denomination continues to move to the right.

IMHO, this has profound implications for the future of the UMC in America. Unless we stop drifting to the right, start fully embracing our own progressive wing, we'll continue to be more and more out-of-step with Americans, and unable to reach the"mission field" of the future.

The data in this new survey seems to confirm this view.

I followed that up more recently with this essay, making the same argument with respect to the specific issue of Same-Sex Marriage: "What Do the Same Sex Marriage Rulings Teach us About the American UMC?"

This essay shows very clearly how Same Sex Marriage will soon be the law of the land in almost every state. Estimates are that majorities are likely to approve of Same Sex Marriage in forty four states, as early as 2020. Again, this at the very same time the United Methodist Church has moved to a more conservative polity regarding these ceremonies.

My argument about the future of the American UMC is that, if we're going to have one (a future, and a Church) we're going to have to stop drawing such a hardline on social issues like homosexuality.

People understand there is little Biblical evidence for the stridency seen in many churches. Many Christians, more every day, are having a conversion of the heart on these issues.
Three groups, not two, should be of interest to the American UMC:
Conservative Christians
Progressive Christians
"The Nones"

For some years now, I've been talking about "The Nones" in blogs and in sermons at Northaven.

My own sense is that many of "The Nones" have left Christianity, altogether. They have left what they see as a too political, too conservative, form of Christianity, and have replaced it, broadly, with the "spiritual, but not religious" movement, or with other religions not so associated with conservative politics.

Here's a part of the article that seems to agree with this view:

""Increasingly, people identify and link organized religion with anti-gay attitudes, sexual conservatism, a whole range of those kinds of social cultural values," Fischer said."

Yep.

The United Methodist Church spends a lot of time wringing its hands over membership losses.
We also spend a good bit of time asking ourselves about "the mission field."

But, it's clear that there are clear answers. There are clear ways forward. Time and time again, the evidence that the "mission field," leans to the left.

I had an interesting exchange in the comments section of my blog the other day. A conservative United Methodist told me that his opinion was that if the UMC fully embraced LGBT persons, it would cause an exodus of conservatives to more conservative churches. Further, he suggested that the number of these persons would far exceed the number of progressives who would leave.

Several rebuttals to this...

First, off, Progressives are already leaving. A slow, drip-drip of members each and every year....each and every General Conference. Time and time again, I hear of clergy friends lamenting how their own children have left the UMC. Not, often, for conservative churches, but often for more progressive denominations, or as new members of "The Nones."

So, it's happening to Progressives already....right now.

Secondly, when conservatives leave the UMC, they are ikely to leave for another Christian denomination. When progressives leave, as we've just noted, in many cases leaving the faith altogether!

The point I need to make is: that's not the same kind of leaving.

I think my friend is right and that if the UMC become more progressive, some conservatives would leave.

Frankly, I don't believe it would be as many as is feared, precisely because Methodists have always been wiling to be a "big tent" denomination, and because the overall number of American religious conservatives is in decline now, and will continue to be so.

But! The bigger point not to miss is that the real place for the UMC to find future growth is among the "Nones." And the Nones lean left.

They've been burned by conservative religion, and are often unaware of progressive options.

Reaching "The Nones," appealing to Progressive Christians, is actually far more difficult and time intensive. They are often extremely thoughtful, they are wary of any kinds of organizations, and they are commitment phobic.

But aren't those the kinds of folks Jesus was trying to reach?

In fact, time and time again, Jesus reminds folks he hasn't come to reach those already INSIDE organized religion, but that he has come to make room for those who are on the outside, without a place to call home.

There's a great "mission field" out there in the United States still. But it leans to the left, and will continue to do so.

There's till time for the United Methodist Church to grasp this.

This Blog, "When EF Talks," has moved!

Find these posts, and more great new ones, at our new home: "WhenEfTalks.com"

Come see us there...

EF

Keep Moving Forward. Don't Look Back.

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Sat, 20 Jul 2013 22:17:00 -0500

For ten years, Dennise and I have lived with the memory of one of the most terrifying journeys we ever took. It was a pre-GPS navigation world. It was a pre-digital-photography world too.

But since we have both now, we recreated this journey the other day, such that we now have pictures to tell the story.
So, let's begin…

Ten-years ago, on our ten-year anniversary trip, we stayed at Ojo Caliente. (Which, as an aside, is one of our favorite places on earth…)

One day of that trip, we drove south toward Santa Fe, across and into the mountains.

Were we going to Chimayo?
Perhaps.

Was it the same day we took this trip?
Might have been.

The point is, we no longer remember, and it really doesn't matter. What matters is that it had been a long day, it was getting late, and we found ourselves between Taos and Santa Fe, with the sudden need to back to Ojo quickly.

If you don't know the area, geographically, here's a cheat-sheet map.

When this story begins, I believe we were somewhere near Ranchos De Taos, perhaps fresh from a day in the mountains. The basic problem in getting back to Ojo from there is the Rio Grande Gorge.

It's huge. Really massive. I mean, sure, the Grand Canyon dwarfs it. But that's hardly fair. The Grand Canyon dwarfs everything.

A few pics…

See? It's huge. Here's another map that gives you a sense of the gorge, and the geographic challenge it holds.

So, it's back in the days of paper maps, and the paper map indicates only two clear choices:
a) Head way South toward Santa Fe, loop around the way we'd come that morning, or
b) Head North, go all the way through Taos, and cross at the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge, which we'd never done before.

"Option A" was not appealing. We'd been there and done that, and it seemed like a long drive. Again, we were tired and in a hurry.

But the map indicated that "Option B" would also be quite a drive.

Again, remember this is pre-GPS. Today, any decent GPS --like either the one in our Prius and on our iPhone-- will tell you that "Option B" is not that long, really. Turns out you don't have to drive all that way out to Tres Piedras (20-30 miles out of the way) There are state roads, just across the Gorge Bridge, that are quite lovely and make for a short, beautiful trip back to Ojo.

We know that now.

But on that day, ten years ago, it looked like a 30-mile trek out of the way. And, as I can't emphasize enough, for some forgotten reason we were tired and in a hurry.

But hark! Low and behold, the paper maps indicate a "Plan C!" The maps indicate what appears to be a direct path across the gorge on State Hwy 570. (You can see it clearly indicated on this map).

Hard to tell what kind of bridge it would be. But it showed to come out on the other side, near Carson. And that would clearly shave 20-30 miles off any other route.
Sounded like a winner.

So, we set out to find Hwy 570. We got to the turn, headed, past a few houses that were popping up alongside it.

But, eventually the road narrowed down. And then, a strange thing: Boulders in the middle of the road. Big enough to slow you down. Small enough to drive around.

"Huh," we thought. "That's strange. Who puts boulders in the middle of a state highway? Why would you do that?"

Oh well. Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

Remember, the road is clearly indicated to be a good one on the map. It seems to snake along the canyon, and in some unclear way come out on the other side.

So, we just drove around the boulders.

I mean, why not?

Turns out, this is why not.

Lucky for us, the boulders meant we weren't going too fast when we came to this point; where the road, quite literally, just falls into the gorge below.

I mean, one second it's a perfectly good road. The next, it's all Roadrunner and Wylie E. Coyote.

We slowly backed away from the edge, turned around and drove out.

Now, you might think this close encounter would convince us to give up the quest for the short cut and head to the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge.

But, noooo!

The short-cut hadn't worked. Now, we were later than ever! Time to raise the stakes, and double down.

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

So we checked the map again, and found that there might actually be another place, farther down Hwy 68, where Hwy 570 loop back out of the canyon. If true, it was down near the town of Pilar. It showed there a state park there too. Which gave us some confidence. I mean, if there's a state park and all, how bad can the road be?

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

We headed down there, and turned in. We found that the road was actually quite lovely. It gently slopes down the eastern side of the gorge, and within a few hundred yards, you're looking at this….

It's just an incredibly beautiful scene down there, in the bottom of the gorge, tracking along the path of the river. Reminded me very much of the Big Thompson Canyon in Colorado.

But, the road just keeps going and going. It's a long, snaking road, and eventually we wondered, "Is this ever going anywhere?"

I mean, with each passing minute the Sun's getting lower. If this doesn't work, we're screwed time-wise.

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

Eventually, you get to this bridge and river crossing.

So, by now, we're even farther behind. We've snaked along this river for about ten miles. And this bridge clearly leads somewhere.
But, to where?

It seems to go up the other side of the gorge.
But, is this the actual crossing and road we've been looking for?

What if it's not? What if it just...ends up there, somewhere?

Remember...we've just encountered what we thought was the real road. And it got all "Thelma and Louise" on us.
Not good.

What if this road does the same?
What if we start up the other side, and it drops off into nothing on the side of the canyon?

Well, we think, the road down into the gorge had been pretty gentle…
And, it was now even later than it was when we started, or when we got into the canyon…

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

Just beyond the bridge, the road turns to gravel and starts up the side. Gentle at first. But almost immediately, there's a hairpin turn. And within a a few hundred years, this suddenly seemed like a horrible mistake. This pictures aren't gonna do it justice, but here's it is.

Like I said, the pics don't do justice to either just how steep this is, how sharp the hairpin turns are, or how narrow the road seemed back then. (I swear they've widened it since then…)

It didn't feel wide enough to turn around safely and go back. So, about a quarter of the way up, we decided we've got to keep going. We can't turn around now…literally we can't turn around now….even if we don't know where this is going.

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

When Dennise and I get into full "freak out" mode, it's usually accompanied by stone silence on her part and nervous chatter on mine.

She really doesn't like heights anyway. (Although our trips to Colorado after this have helped…). So, being on the side of a gorge was not, shall we say, fun.

I kept trying to take her mind off it by focusing on the positive.

"Look at how beautiful that view is, honey!"
And, it was. See?

But this never works. It usually gets me a few words I cannot repeat here, and the line: "Keep your eyes on the road!"

Higher and higher the road goes. Where the hell is it going? Will it drop off into nothing at any moment? Will our friends and loved ones hear the story of our tiny rent car splotch on the canyon floor?

The mind does start to race.

Dennise says more things that I will not repeat here. I move from my usual space-filling-chatter, and join her sheer silence. That's when you know it's really bad.
Neither of us have the feeling that this is gonna end well.

Then, past one more switchback turn, and a climb back up the side, there's a slight turn to the right, and suddenly the car pushes over a ridge, and you see this:

Behind you, sheer terror and plunging depth.
In front, flat as far as the eye can see.

We looked at each other and just started laughing uncontrollably.

I said, "I have no idea where this road is going, but we're going THAT way…"

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

Turns out, it was in fact the long-sought Hwy 570 on the other side of the gorge. We'd made it. It was right where we thought it would be. It was just sheer terror getting there.

A few minutes more, and we were back at Ojo; spending, I am sure, more time in the pools to get the knots out of our shoulder muscles.

So, like I said, this past Wednesday our plans for the day fell through, and we found ourselves retracing the steps of this journey.

Only this time, we started at the top. Knowing that we were in our own car, that we hadn't died the first time, and that we were eager to make sure this was the place of the original story, we took a trip back down into the canyon.

So, I suppose that in both telling you this story, and retracing our steps last Wednesday, we've violated the "Keep moving forward. Don't look back" moral of this story.

But after twenty years of marriage, looking back is helpful sometimes. Of course, as Lot's wife reminds us, you can't live there every day. But, now and then, it can be good to retrace your steps in reverse, marvel at where you've been, and see what you can learn from it.

There are, of course, all sorts of possible morals from this story:

Hindsight is 20/20.
Don't be afraid of the long road home.
Take your time, because you'll forget why you were in such a hurry anyway.
Ask directions.
Whatever you do, don't look down.
Wait to take your trip until after GPS has been invented.

But I like the metaphor that came to me today, as I've been writing this out:

Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

In twenty years of counseling couples, marrying them --watching some "make it" and some not-- I'm left with a feeling something like this: If you knew where the road was going to go, you might not ever take it in the first place.

Yes, it's great to have people tell you how great marriage is, "the higher you climb."
Sure, that helps.

But marriage is more like the climb up a canyon road, rather than the standard metaphor of leaping off the cliff. It is a leap. That one time on that first day. But the rest of the days, it's a climb that's sometimes exhilarating, sometimes terrifying, and almost never boring.

A lot of terrible stuff is going to happen in even the best marriage. There are a lot of difficult times. For us, there have been tough times that I'm never gonna share here.

There are switchback roads you fear could send you over the edge at any moment. And all marriages are lived pre-GPS. Even if you start out with a great map, you're never really sure just where the road is going to end up.

A truth of life is that we don't get to both live it and observe if from the long view at the same time. That's just the way life works.

Nor is there likely to be just one canyon road, either. Sometimes, you get to the top of one ridge only to find it levels out for a while, then starts more stomach-churning zig-zags up again.

There are seasons where it feels like one…long…climb, and it's hard to see how any of it is getting "better."

Does this sound overly harsh? Are you worried about me now?

Well, to me? After twenty years in my own marriage, after watching the marriages of many church members, friends, and relatives, it just sounds realistic. Whether any of us admit it or not, it takes a bit of foolishness to start down that marriage road, given just how uncertain life is.

It takes a bit of foolishness to keep moving forward, and not look back.
But maybe that's the only way it works out too.

And now and then if you're lucky, you get to the top of an especially high mesa, and fall into laughter at where you have come.

The Long View

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Better The Higher You Climb

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Tue, 16 Jul 2013 23:30:00 -0500

Some days, you really do feel the past and future come together and touch each other. Today was one of those days for us, as Dennise and me went back to visit "Kasha-Katuwe, aka Tent Rocks,"here in New Mexico.

You may recall that back in May, I blogged about our 20-year anniversary. Even though the actual date was then, our celebration really doesn't end until now, as Dennise and me head back to Taos/Santa Fe. This is where we spent our honeymoon, and where we came back for a ten-year anniversary trip.

Here's a pic from the ten-year trip in 2003:

Our 2003 Trip

As I did with the anniversary blog, it's interesting to look back and see just how much has changed. But, not just in twenty years. In just the ten.

In 2003, Dennise had yet to run for judge. Her election would be a year and a half later. At that moment, almost nobody imagined that a Democrat could be elected judge in Dallas County.

In fact, so outrageous was that idea, that Dennise had lawyers she respected tell her, "Dennise, do you want to be a Democrat or be a Judge?"

She'd say, "I want to be both."

A year-and-a-half later, much to the surprise of many, she was. And now, she's one of the longest serving judges in Dallas County.

In 2003, we hadn't yet broken ground on Northaven's new sanctuary. It was still just an idea. I was deep into weekly meetings (sometimes two hours long) with our building committee. There were plenty of dreams, but we wouldn't break ground for another two years, and wouldn't move in for 18 months after that.

In 2003, Maria was five. She'd hadn't even started kindergarten.
In just a few months, she'll start her sophomore year.

So, lots has changed. Like I said in the other blog, it sorta makes the head spin.
----------------------------------------

Soon after the above picture was taken, I wrote a song about the hike we took that day.

In 2003, we took the hike up to the scenic overlook and, frankly, at least I was a bit out of shape. It's not a terribly strenuous hike, but it took a bit out of me that day.

But, all the way up, folks were so encouraging..

"The view's SO great up there..."
"It's better the higher you climb..."

It didn't take long for this songwriter to jump all over the metaphors in that.

But, the rocks themselves are also metaphors...the way that canyon is being reshaped each and every day. In fact, we say a park ranger today who was pointing out boulders that fell during last week's rains. It's obvious that the place looks much different than it did ten years ago.

So, between the metaphor of the climb, and the metaphor of the changing canyon, I think I came out with a pretty good song.

Hard to believe it was ten years ago.

Anyway, as you can hear, the demo's pretty much done and will be a part of that new CD I keep talking about.

Today's hike was definitely different. We're ten years older. And yet, in many ways, we're in better physical shape today than we were back then. I know I'm quite a bit lighter, and I didn't find myself gasping for air quite as much.

So, I'll close with some words from the song, which really encapsulate what I said at the start: that today was a day when the past and the future come together and touch each other.

In fact, I suppose when I wrote the song back then, these words were really about a day just like today:

Today at the top

"Happy Anniversary, baby,
Let's pause for just a few,
Catch our breath and maybe
Breathe in deep this whole wide view.

A touch of wind and rain,
Reshapes the rocks so firm.
And though we both will change,
Let's keep the lessons we have learned.

And then, many years from now,
Down around some future bend,
If fate and time allow,
We'll come back to this same trail end,

And as our lives unwind,
And as others join this path,
We can tell 'em what they'll find,
If they can work to make love last.

Cause it gets better the higher you climb..."

A Tale of Two Women (Why I am Pro-Choice)

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Sat, 13 Jul 2013 11:20:00 -0500

Although I blog about a lot of things, I've never written much about abortion or about why I am fundamentally "Pro-Choice." But my friend Rev. Jim Rigby, a minister from Austin, asked yesterday for clergy who are Pro-Choice to sign their name to statement. I was please to stand with many other Texas clergy who did so, and you can read it here.

But given what the legislature has done to restrict safe, legal abortion in Texas, I feel driven to do much more than sign a statement. I'd like to speak plainly about why I am Pro-Choice. I could also give you very specific reasons why I believe this new law is unnecessary new regulation and intrusion into the lives of women, but I will do that another time. (The letter will have to suffice for now...)

I'd like to tell you the stories of the two women who enfleshed for me the reality of what it means to be Pro-Choice. All this happened very early in my ministry, and I can only tell the story now by obscuring the details enough to protect those involved. (Sufficed to say, if you think you know who I'm talking about in these stories, I would bet there's a 100 percent chance you are wrong...)

Early on in my ministry, I had the chance to give counsel to two women, both of whom had become pregnant. I will call them Penny and Gail. I can't tell you how I knew them. It was not through any church I served in my full-time ministry.

Again, the details of this story would make it more interesting to tell, but also give too much away. I can tell you that both were young, single and almost mirror images of each other in terms of education and life. Neither or these women ever met each other, nor did they ever know that they were experiencing similar situations.

Penny was from a small town and had lived there most of her life. She had a boyfriend that she hadn't planned on marrying, but when she found herself pregnant, that's what she ended up doing. Both families surrounded the couple with love, support, and made it clear that they would provide a great deal of moral, emotional and financial support.

Gail was in a much different place. She lived far from her family. The young man who got her pregnant also did not have family nearby. In fact, there wasn't really any real relationship between the two of them. The "relationship" had been an unfortunate "one night stand." It was very clear that if she had the child, she'd be raising it alone, without the significant support of family or him.

Again, there are more details in both cases that I can't share. But that's the outline.

Penny decided to keep her baby, marry her boyfriend, and asked me to do the wedding. Which I happily agreed to do.
Gail decided to have an abortion.

The surreal thing is this: both the wedding and the abortion happened on the same day.

Again, these women never knew each other, and could not possibly have known of the confluence of these two events. In fact, I'm not sure anybody else besides me ever knew.

But on one particular day, early in my ministry, I did a wedding for young, pregnant Penny, on the very same day that Gail had an abortion.

What was clear to me then, and is still absolutely clear to me now, is that both women made the best decision for their lives.

Each of them carried regrets on that day. But each of them had prayed, weighed all the factors involved, and each of them made a good decision. My calling wasn't to make the decision for them, but to walk with them as their looked for where God, and their life, was leading them.

The truth is that to make either choice these women had before them --to carry a child to term and enter into an unplanned marriage, or to have an abortion-- absolutely "closed" certain other doors in their lives. It's impossible for a woman to make these kinds of choices without understanding that in a visceral way.

Each choice cuts off some potential future decisions, just as every life-choice does for each of us on any random day of our lives.

My own experience?

These women took their situation very very seriously. And they made the best choice for them. The surreality for me was that crucial "day of decision" which ended up being the same day.

And that, my friends, is the heart of what it means to be "Pro-Choice."

It does not mean you are "Pro-Abortion." It means you understand that these decisions are gut wrenching, life-changing and that rarely does any woman take them lightly.

The tale of these two women are why I am Pro-Choice. Because, for reasons I cannot share with you, it was so crystal clear to me that each was making a good decision.

And, having told you about them, let me get into some specifics. A few truths about what it means to be Pro-Choice and Christian…

A First Truth: Yes, There Are Pro-Choice Christians
Many Christians, even many clergy, are "Pro-Choice." They fundamentally believe that a woman's right to choose is important, and that abortion should be legal, safe, and available to any woman who wishes access to it.

There are many clergy of all Christian denominations, and all faiths, who affirm a woman's right to choose. The letter I mentioned will show you the names of just a handful. Those names were collected in mere hours yesterday morning.

The United Methodist Church, in our Social Principles, supports the legal option of abortion. The specific sentences about this are here:
"We recognize tragic conflicts of life with life that may justify abortion, and in such cases we support the legal option of abortion under proper medical procedures by certified medical providers...
We call all Christians to a searching and prayerful inquiry into the sorts of conditions that may cause them to consider abortion. We entrust God to provide guidance, wisdom, and discernment to those facing an unintended pregnancy."

The statement is much longer than this, and says much about working to make sure that abortion rates are low as low as possible. You can read the whole thing here.

A Second Truth: Nobody Comes To Their View Without Wobbling Knees
This is why I told you the story of these two women.

If you think that most Pro-Choice or most Pro-Life folks never have a single doubt, when they are by themselves in the dark of their own thoughts, you are wrong. I'm not taking about "activists" speaking at some press conference. I am talking about average people, in the privacy of their own homes/lives.

Some women who choose to carry a baby to term and give it up for adoption are later beset with guilt.
Others are not.

Some women who have safe, legal abortions are later beset with guilt.
Others are not.

Ditto for the men/fathers in both cases too.

The point is: the decisions are gut wrenching no matter what the decisions are. I know and understand this.

A Third Truth: The Bible May Not Be As Pro-Life as You Think.
In what I am about to say, I am not attempting to belittle those who choose to be "Pro-Life." God bless you if that is your view. What I am saying is this: If you believe the Bible categorically, emphatically, and with zero ambiguity, declares that "life begins at conception," you are wrong.

Sorry. That just the plain truth.

The reality is that the Bible says seemingly contradictory things about the beginnings of human life. It does so, primarily, because the Bible is not a science book. It's not, through its words and stories, trying to relay scientific fact to us. Therefore, the Bible doesn't seem to care that it appears to be grossly contradictory on abortion, or on any other subject for that matter.

Yes, there are passages that say "I knit you together in the womb," but these are not said as scientific fact, but as metaphor.

And, there are very clear alternative Biblical views as to when life begins, and when God creates it.

The most impressive is at the very beginning: The creation story of "Adam." Adam is created "out of the dust of the ground." God works like a potter at a potter's wheel and molds the dust into the form a human being. (Again, note how metaphorical these images are…)

But! This mud-figure is not yet alive. It's what happens next that makes the difference:

"God breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man(sic) became a living soul." (Genesis 2:7)

Using stories that are mostly "stories"….poetry…metaphor….this story is trying to answer some very mysterious questions about all of existence:

What makes all living things different from the rocks and the dirt?
The breath of God, moving through a breathing being.

What happens to us once our physical bodies die?
They go back to that dust where they came from. We are from dust, and to dust our bodies return.

Point is: Before God breathes the "breath of life" into Adam, "the man" is simply a lifeless form. He's not a human being. In fact, the story makes it crystal clear that he's a lifeless form.

For the first human being, then, life begins at breath; not at conception.

The thought is repeated in Job: "The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life." (Job 33:4)

And, lest you believe that Adam's story was a one-time event, unlike any other, the thought continues in Ezekiel:
"So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army." (Ezekiel 37:10)

Again, in these last two passages, as in Genesis, the key moment, that dividing line between life and death, is breath.

In the Hebrew and in the Greek, the words for breath, wind, and Spirit are exactly the same word. They're not kinda of similar. They are literally and exactly the same word.

Throughout the Bible, then, there is a strong metaphorical case --a case made from the same kind of Biblical "warrant" used to assert "life begins at conception"-- to say that life begins at the time when breath begins.
According to many places in the Bible, a body, any kind of human body, without breath, is less than a full human being.

Now, am I willing to push this to its extreme and boldly proclaim: "Life begins with birth"?

No. I am not. Because --just as I deeply wish the "life begins at conception" folks could also admit-- I know and understand too much of science to do that. I know there is definitely a time of "viability" that come before the moment of birth. I also know that technology is constantly pushing our view of precisely when that moment is.

My point is that I know, with equal and unshakable certainty, that it is just as wrong to say "life begins at conception" as to say "life begins at birth."

To crow too loudly about the Bible in either direction is a terrible misuse of the Holy Scripture.

But, my original point was this, and I'll end with it again, because it will remain a shocker to some of you:

The Bible in no way definitively, without ambiguity or with scientific certainty, says "life begins at conception."

That is the truth of the Bible, whether you understand that or not.

That leads me immediately to another truth: It's very clear, then, that if a human life does not begin at conception, and that if the Bible is at best inconsistent in what it says about when life begins, abortion cannot be considered "murder."

Or, at least if you believe that it is, you can't in good conscience say it's because "God says so."
You may believe it. That's fine. But it's not clear God does.

A Third Truth: (And a very hard one) Abortion/Miscarriage Happens in Nature
This is hard/awful point to have to make. But given the bold, crowing of some Pro-Life Christians, it must be made.

Taking all moral judgment out what I am about to say, we must admit that miscarriages happen in nature. They are terribly, terribly painful for us human animals, especially the mothers who suffer through them. So, it is terribly difficult for me to even talk about these things, because I understand just how painful the point I am trying to make here is.

We know that miscarriages happen to every animal species on the planet, including some human women. Sometimes, we never end up knowing why they happen. But they do.

Some Christians believe that God literally and intentionally causes and directs all of life's events. (I do not believe this. I am noting that "some" Christians do).

A great many of these Christians would call themselves "Pro-Life," and say that God intends for all babies to have the chance at life. They therefore say that abortion takes a life. In fact, they say, as I did in the last section, that "abortion is murder."

OK. So, let's push this to its extreme. If that's the case, then by their own logic, how do they explain the morality of miscarriages?
Again, this is a hard case to make, but bear with me…

Does God love women who miscarry less?
Is God being especially cruel to them?
Being intentionally cruel to them?

No! Of course not! I could not believe in such a God!

I do not believe that God intentionally causes miscarriages to happen to specific women. Like much else that happens to us medically, I believe biological processes simply are what they are. Things happen for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with the specific "will of God." God does not cruelly force miscarriages on to women.

But! For the staunch Pro-Life, Biblical-literalist how is there any other choice but to say that "God makes and causes some women to miscarry?!!!"

Therefore, taken to its horrid extreme, there is no escaping the idea that God not only believes in abortion, but that God is the spiritual abortion-provider for these women! If you take the Biblical literalist to their own logical extreme (not mine), God --in God's self-- performs abortions.

I do not believe that God is an abortion-provider, any more than I believe that God foreordains every moment of our lives at the moment of our conception. Both of those views violate the idea that God give us free will, which is why I don't believe them. But, I do believe in free will.

And this gets me to my final point…

Free Will Means Choice
Not only does God not foreordain every moment of life (the fundamentalist, literalist Christian view) but God does give us true free will.

And true free will means this: We have choice. We have decision. What we do matters in the world. Incarnationally, it means that literally every choice we make, every time we make it, every decision-point, affects our future destiny.

Taking all thought of abortion out of this next sentence, I emphatically affirm the following:
To be "Pro-Free Will" means to be "Pro-Choice."

It does!

Again, in that last sentence, I am speaking theologically about the nature of ALL human existence and reality. To truly believe in God and to truly affirm the "free will" God gives us, means we fundamentally affirm that God gives us real choice in life. Not "fake" choice, or choice that just seems like real choice. REAL choice.

As it pertains to the abortion debate, it means this: God gives us the power to choose abortion, or to not chose abortion.

And this, my friends is what it means to me to be "Pro-Choice."
You can actually be "Pro-Life," (morally and personally against abortion) and still be "Pro-Choice" (morally and personally for our right to make choices).
These things are not inconsistent, although they are often posited this way in the debate.

God is not the One who foreordains each and every moment of our lives.
The proper way to understand God's "omniscience" is not to say "God knows our specific life-path," but instead to say "God knows all our future possibilities."
God knows and understands the almost infinite possible choices we can make in life at any moment. And, in every moment of life, there are myriads of choices we can make. Frankly, we far too often forget this. We pretend that our choices are made for us, as if everything is planned.

But it's not. The gift of "free will" is a real thing. Not fake or pretend. It's a blessing of God. But, it's also a curse in that it puts hard, moral choices squarely on our shoulders, to live with the consequences, whatever we choose.

The choices we make are, literally, up to us.

Back to Those Two Women
Which gets me, finally, back to the beginning, and those two young women, Penny and Gail.

As I said, I truly believe each of them made the best decision for their lives. The details of their lives help me to understand this in ways I can't share with you.

Can I say, "They made a decision that would be "morally right in all cases?"
No. I cannot say this.

But neither can anyone else, because that's not how life works.
That's now how the universe works. That's not how God intends for us to live.

For those of us who believe in God, God intends for us to approach our decision-points in prayer, in consultation with family, friends, even clergy perhaps. God intends for us to weigh the "pros/cons" of our decisions.

But since God's omniscience rests not in knowing our "one specific path," but in "all our possible paths," the burden of the free will God has given us means that our specific choices are up to us.
God is present in the choices. God is present in our lives, no matter which roads we choose.

I know that Gail's abortion was not murder. I know that Penny's marriage was blessed by God. I know that God was most definitely present with both as they made their decisions. And although I have no idea where they are in life today, I am absolutely confident that God has continued to bless them both with grace beyond measure.

Because that's what God always does.

The tale of these two women is why I am "Pro-Choice." They taught me in a powerful way that God is always standing with us in the decision-points of life. They reminded me how God does not foreordain all of life's decisions. God's free will very often leaves the choices to us.

It's a powerful and awesome responsibility.
I'm glad God set up the universe this way.

Aren't you?

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(1)I put both in quotes because I can not conceptualize of a struggle for the recognition of “love as either…
(2) And, dear members of our own United Methodist Church…

This Blog, "When EF Talks," has moved!

Find these posts, and more great new ones, at our new home: "WhenEfTalks.com"

Come see us there...

EF

What Do The Same Sex Marriage Rulings Teach Us about the American UMC?

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Thu, 27 Jun 2013 15:33:00 -0500

In the past several days, I've had several talks with folks regarding the twin Supreme Court rulings on same sex marriage, and its implications for the United Methodist Church. The gist has been to lament just how dramatically "out-of-step" the United Methodist Church has become on the issue of same sex marriage, and LGBT issues in general.

The ever-widening chasm between culture and church is something I've seen coming a long time.
I've been warning of it for a long time.

So, now seems a good time to remind you of a blog I wrote just after last Fall's election:

"What The Presidential Election Should Teach the United Methodist Church."

The gist of the blog was to discuss the "social ethos" of the United Methodist Church and contrast it with the clearest data-set for determining the "social ethos" of the nation: Presidential Election popular vote results.

That vote, I would argue, is the single clearest data-set for understanding the ethos of the nation.

The punchline of the blog is something like this:
Since 1992, the data clearly show the United States as a "center-left" nation.
During that same period, the United Methodist Church has moved to the right.

Please note, I am not suggesting that the United States has become a socialistic empire. Far from it! In fact, anybody who suggests this has no idea what socialism really is.
But we are, demonstrably, to the left of center; not to the right of if. And we have been for several decades.(1)

Many people, inside and outside of the church, still fail to see this truth. Simple demographics suggest this is unlikely to reverse itself in the foreseeable future.

Even if the United Methodist Church had simply stayed in the same place and not become more conservative on LGBT issues (and, please understand, we have not this), the net effect would still be for us to be more out-of-step because of the clear cultural shift in society to the left.

You may wish to say, "Well, OK, but acceptance of same sex marriage won't happen in MY state.
Wrong again. At least, for most of us.

I invite you to remind yourself of this great blog from Nate Silver. Nate wrote this back when these same sex marriage cases were first being argued in front of the Supremes.

Her's the punchline:
By 2016, voters in 32 states will be willing to vote "yes" to accept same sex marriage.
By 2020, voters in 44 states will be willing to vote "yes" to accept same sex marriage. (This includes Texas)

I will say what I often say about Nate Silver: doubt him at your peril. He's rarely wrong about these things.

Why do I make all these point about the "ethos" of the United States and the "ethos" of the UMC? About growing and inevitable support for same sex marriage?

Because, for decades now, the UMC has challenged churches to understand, and respond to, their specific cultural contexts.
Who are the people your church is trying to reach?
Who would miss your church if it was gone?
What makes your church unique?
Who are the people who live in your church's neighborhood?

If these are great questions for each and every local church.
My point is: they are also questions to ask on the macro-level.

And at least part of the answer to them is this:

The mission field of the United States is one that increasingly embraces LGBT persons in their full humanity. The US mission field contains LGBT families, many of whom are eager to be welcomed into, and be supported by, local congregations. Additionally, young persons (gay and straight) expect that their church...like every other aspect of their lives...will fully embrace and welcome LGBT persons.

This is why Adam Hamilton said, with great confidence, that if the UMC did not move on LGBT issues, we'd lose the next generation of evangelical young people.

Note the nuance of what he said.

He didn't say "mainline/moderate" young people...
He didn't say "ultra-liberal" young people either...
He said we'd lose the EVANGELICAL young people of tomorrow.

Time and time again, I speak with clergy and layfolks who lament the fact that their own children have left the United Methodist Church for other, more LGBT-friendly, denominations. Or, they've just left altogether, and become one of "The Nones."

These adult children were raised in our faith and traditions, but now in good conscience can no longer associate the denomination of their youth.

We see a similar thing at Northaven, among LGBT people themselves, who now and then come to believe they can no longer connect to a denomination that excludes LGBT persons. Even to a "Reconciling Church" within that denomination.

I have previously estimated these losses to Northaven membership to be roughly 15 percent of the total new members taken in during my pastoral tenure here. And if that's what happens at a "Reconciling Church" --where we make every effort to explain how welcoming we are-- just imagine how high the number is at other churches, where nothing is ever said and people just quietly fade away.

If you believe it's a shame all these young people are leaving the UMC, here's the God's-honest truth about it. Paraphrasing President Reagan:

"These people have not left The United Methodist Church. The United Methodist Church has left them."

The UMC left them by failing to change with the times, or by literally becoming more restrictive on LGBT issues.

Every human culture is always in a state of change. The idea of "stasis" is a fiction. No human culture ever stays the same. Even the institution we call "traditional marriage" has changed during the span of my lifetime.

Our culture's views on LGBT persons will continue to evolve.
And, in fairness, this is not the only crucial "social ethos" issue we must pay attention. Increasingly, we must also reach out to Hispanics, Immigrants, and other social groups worthy of our attention through the ministry of Jesus. The "Nones" who have left us are a part of this too.

That's the new American mission field.

Am I saying that LGBT persons make-up all of the American mission field? No. Of course not. We're more diverse a nation than that. But LGBT persons are a part of the whole mission field, and failing to advocate for full inclusion is now officially hurting the church everywhere. Not just a few Reconciling Churches, here and there.

We can continue to shriek about how embracing LGBT persons is anti-scriptural...even though many of us know it is not.

We can continue to moan about how changing our polity is "cultural accommodation"....failing to admit that in every generation, we do this...whether it's our embrace of women clergy fifty years ago, or "praise music" during the past decade.

We can continue to appeal to the past tradition of the church, and say "We've never done it that way before."

But if we do, we'll lose this beautiful denomination we all claim to love.

And not because we welcome gay and lesbians.
But because we have not.

1) And, contrary to what you might believe about Congress, the data holds there too. In the recent presidential election, about 2 million more voters voted for a Democrat than for a Republican for Congress. Because of gerrymandered districts, the Republicans hold far more seats than the vote suggests they should. So, even for Congress, during the presidential cycle, the data suggests a center-left nation...neither dramatically conservative nor liberal.

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La Silencia

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Thu, 27 Jun 2013 07:15:00 -0500

Today is The Judge's birthday.
I won't spill the beans on how old she is. That would be foolish on my part.
Btw, if you've considered getting a gift, I would suggest that campaign contributions make a very nice one.
:)

But as you'd imagine, I'm deeply grateful she was born.

I've been meditating on her and on our marriage a lot lately, ever since our 20th Anniversary last month.

When Dennise was a baby, she apparently didn't cry much. That earned her the first of several family nicknames: "La Silencia."

Interestingly, one of the things that first attracted me to her was her silence. Early in our relationship, we found that we could spend long, quiet, periods together and not really have to speak much.
It wasn't emptiness. Or awkwardness.
Just....silence.

As time went on, our relationship deepened and, unsurprisingly, my sense of the silence changed. As we grew closer, I learned the silence was often more complicated. Sometimes, things were going on.

Sometimes, as you might imagine, we had to learn to break sometimes awkward silence. For sure, we've both learned to share more. To speak up. Even the tough stuff.

But times of that peaceful silence remain.

The first year we dated, John Gorka came out with his great song, "Silence."

It's always reminded me of Dennise. And of us.

So, below are some of the lyrics I've always resonated with, along with a great video of John doing the song. (accompanied by the amazing Michael Manring).

Happy Birthday, Babe...

From "Silence" by John Gorka
"Love came unexpectedly
Late to the bill
An added attraction
The way it goes
The way it stays

And when she is far away
Still I feel her here
Every since she made the day
And the lonely man disappear
Into that silence
Into that silence "

(Buy the song here)

Bending a Little Faster Today

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Wed, 26 Jun 2013 15:31:00 -0500

"The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice."
-- Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

I don't know. Today, it sure feels like that arc is picking up a little steam.

My first thoughts on reading the Supreme Court decisions had to do with our families here at Northaven Church.

When the Supreme Court took up the Prop 8 case, I listened to the oral arguments. I was especially moved by the comments by Justice Anthony Kennedy (who authored today's Prop 8 opinion)

“There are some 40,000 children in California” with same-sex parents and “they want their parents to have full recognition and full status. The voice of those children is important in this case, don’t you think?”

Yes! I do think!

And so, my first thoughts today were along the same lines. I felt deep happiness for the loving couples I have grown to know, love --and feel terribly honored to minister to-- here at Northaven Church.

* Our lesbian and gay parents who are faithful church members and great parents....
* Older couples, like our beloved George and Jack, who I know are smiling today....
* Our "traditional" couple, and single parent families, who are at Northaven because they want to be in a blended church that teaches the values of faithfulness and monogamy between couples...
* Our great kids children and youth (from traditional and LGBT families) who now have more than just the love of their local church and friends. They have a message from their government that their families have value and worth!

I give thanks that the Supreme Court has acknowledged what we have known here at Northaven for many years: Loving, committed, monogamous gay and lesbian couples are no threat to traditional marriage.

Sunday, in worship planned months ago, we will celebrate the second week of our "Freedom is Coming!" series.

Even more to the point, the theme of the week is "Freedom to Love," and the emphasis will be on Reconciling Ministries.

When we planned this a few months back, we could not have imagined that this "theme" would end up on the very Sunday after the Supreme Court ruling! It's hard to fathom just how beautiful that is, and what a celebration of the movement of God's Spirit Sunday will be.

I anticipate that it will be a great day of celebration, and maybe even tears of joy. I know you'll want to be with us!

from Reconciling Ministries Network

Obviously, a main point I hope to make Sunday is about LOVE. That "love is love." And that the love God calls us to is for an inclusion of all persons. Our love for LGBT persons --and our work to seek full inclusion for them in both civil law and the church-- comes from God's Great Commandment.

Which makes today seem like a good day to repost the blog I wrote some months back. "A Pastoral Case for Christian Same Sex Marriage" was written during the week the Supremes took up these cases. It seems like a good time to remind ourselves of this struggle.

Northaven's "Welcome Statement"

But! That same love calls us to a love of ALL persons too. As we say in the Reconciling Movement, "All Means All."

Our passion for inclusion extends to immigrants, ethnic minorities, those of different economic circumstances. We say these things in Northaven's "Welcome Statement," painted on the wall, outside the main sanctuary doors:

"Become we believe that God's love in Jesus Christ has broken down the walls that divide us, we seek to embody that love by welcoming people of all ages, races, sexual orientation, or economics circumstances."

Which brings me back to the other big Supreme Court decision this week on the Voting Rights Act. Longtime Northaven members will recall that our beloved saint, Judge Barefoot Sanders, was a key part of getting that legislation passed. During the push to pass that legislation, Barefoot was a key staff person for President Johnson on Capitol Hill.
So, as parts of that law are ruled unconstitutional, I could not help but remember him too. And the generations of Civil Rights leaders who passionately crafted that law. And I meditated on what we may be called to do to insure that our nation does not fall back in terms of civil rights.

Then, last night, I witnessed the power of women and their allies standing up for reproductive rights in the Texas State Capitol, and the powerful reminder that women's struggle for equality also continues.

So, I'm grateful to the Rev. Gil Caldwell, for his well-timed blog of today, which speaks to all of this.

"It has become evident that even with legislation and rulings for inclusion, equality, and equal access... racism, as well as sexism, heterosexism, and classism, remain....
This last week in June 2013, whether we are concerned about affirmative action and/or voting rights, immigration, the rights of women, marriage equality, food stamps for the poor, etc., etc., could be/ought be the beginning of a "Movement" of persons and groups. Conservatives, moderates and liberals, who like Fannie Hamer say; "We are sick and tired of being sick and tired" (Of dreams deferred)."

Read the whole blog here.

LOVE is the thread that connects it all. God's love for all God's children. God's call to us to make it mainfest in the world.

So, come join us Sunday, as we celebrate the movement of God's Holy Spirit that's loose in our society today, and as we dream of how it can spread more fully to all God's children.

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Message to Senator Wendy Davis

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Tue, 25 Jun 2013 20:51:00 -0500

Right now, State Senator Wendy Davis of Fort Worth is filibustering on the floor of the Texas Senate. I thought you would appreciate reading a part of a message that I just sent to her:

As a United Methodist clergy in Texas, I am horrified by the bill before the Texas Senate.

Years ago now, as a young minister, I had the surreal experience of working with two young women, both of whom were pregnant. Pastoral confidence prevents me from revealing specifics of either situation. However, these two women came to opposite conclusions.

One ended up having an abortion, the other got married. I was honored to do the wedding. I also supported the woman who chose abortion. Surreally, and totally unbeknownst to the other --these women never knew each other-- both events happened on the same day.

Both, it seems to me, were the right decisions given these women's lives. Both, it seems to me, made a good decision for their lives, and made with the help of their families, friends, friends, and faith communities.

This is the heart of what being pro-choice means.

United Methodists stand on all sides of the abortion issue. But, for the information of the Texas Senate, this is some of what the United Methodist Church officially says:

"We recognize tragic conflicts of life with life that may justify abortion, and in such cases we support the legal option of abortion...
"We call all Christians to a searching and prayerful inquiry into the sorts of conditions that may cause them to consider abortion. We entrust God to provide guidance, wisdom, and discernment to those facing an unintended pregnancy."

I am troubled by this proposed law, as it seems to me that it will severely limit women's access to this procedure in many parts of our state, and limit their rights in a way that could bring real harm to them.

Rev. Eric Folkerth
Northaven United Methodist Church,
Dallas Texas

I Beg The Church

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Sat, 22 Jun 2013 16:57:00 -0500

Dear Church of Jesus Christ,

That seems like a pompous salutation for a blog. But I don't know what else fits. I am led to write to anyone who considers themselves a follower of Jesus Christ. I am led by God's Holy Spirit to write to you about the situation with Exodus Ministries International, and its leader Alan Chambers.

Basically, I have several things I want to beg of you.

In case you missed the big news, Chambers has issued a public apology on behalf of Exodus International, and has announced that the ministry will be shutting its doors.

So, I beg of you the following…

I beg you to pay attention to this story.
I beg of you to spend some time in prayer, reflecting on the fact that, once again, another "ex-gay" leader has admitted that "reparative therapies" are harmful and damaging. In case you missed it, here's a part of Chamber's statement:

"Please know that I am deeply sorry. I am sorry for the pain and hurt many of you have experienced. I am sorry that some of you spent years working through the shame and guilt you felt when your attractions didn’t change. I am sorry we promoted sexual orientation change efforts and reparative theories about sexual orientation that stigmatized parents. I am sorry that there were times I didn’t stand up to people publicly “on my side” who called you names like sodomite—or worse. I am sorry that I, knowing some of you so well, failed to share publicly that the gay and lesbian people I know were every bit as capable of being amazing parents as the straight people that I know...

More than anything, I am sorry that so many have interpreted this religious rejection by Christians as God’s rejection. I am profoundly sorry that many have walked away from their faith and that some have chosen to end their lives. For the rest of my life I will proclaim nothing but the whole truth of the Gospel, one of grace, mercy and open invitation to all to enter into an inseverable(sic) relationship with almighty God."

I beg you to consider the vast number of "ex-gay" leaders who have left the "movement."
Alan Chambers' statement may be getting a lot of press right now, but he's hardly alone. In fact, "leaders" have been leaving the "ex-gay" movement for decades now. If you've never read Michael Bussee's story, find it here. I actually find his statement more powerful than anything Chambers said. Bussee was one of the originators of Exodus, but left long ago.

Or, check out this blog that outlines just a few of the many more leaders who have left this movement.

Or, an even longer list here.

Mediate on what it means that so many LEADERS have left this movement.

Or, consider the number of conservative Christian leaders who have also been involved in "scandals" over their sexual orientation in the past few years. Google the following names, and do a little reading for yourself:
Ted Haggard
George Rekers
Jim Swilley
Tom Brock

Not to mention, scores of other politicians and public figures who have been "staunchly anti-gay" but eventually "outed."

I beg you to hear the thousands of participants in "ex-gay" ministries who abandon the quest.
Think about this: If so many leaders have left this movement --men who have spiritual, emotionally, physically committed their lives to denouncing and rejecting their innate sexual orientation-- just imagine what the effect has been on participants.

Sure enough, there is a growing body of evidence that shows, overwhelmingly, how harmful these "therapies" are. Please read this, which cites new studies and information from former "ex-gay" participants.

Near the end of this story is the following paragraph:

"Many respondents gave long descriptions of a difficult road to recovery after abandoning their efforts to become straight. Some found more "accepting" churches or therapists. Others became activists, concentrating on helping people who have gone through similar experiences. Many said that they still don't consider themselves to be recovered."

The reality is that Chamber's apology has grown out of a several-year connection with journalist Lisa Ling, and some incredible reporting she has done on "Our America."

One of the powerful parts of the recent show is this session where ex-gay survivors talk about their harrowing experiences:

If you are a Christian who believes in such therapies, I beg you to repent.
Sooner or later, the evidence becomes overwhelming. These ministries are harmful to human beings. They are not Christ-like in any way. Being associated with them is not what God would want of us. Sooner or later, almost everyone realizes this.

If you have been on the fence, I beg you to allow this to be the moment you reject these so-called "cures" and "ministries." The old idea, "love the sinner but hate the sin" does not apply here, because sexual orientation is an innate part of a person, not something changeable or "fixable."

I'm not asking you to issue a public, "I Am Sorry" like Chambers. Although, if you're up for it, it might well be healing to people you know personally. What I'm really asking for is for you to withdraw your support from these ministries. Make it clear, going forward, that you do not support them.

For those of us who are United Methodist, consider our foundational "General Rules," and the admonishment to "Do No Harm." If you are a United Methodist supporter of "reparative therapy," please consider your involvement in light of our commitment to God to "Do No Harm."

I beg you to consider that God calls you to love LGBT persons without precondition.
The hopeful news is that millions of Christians today fully embrace LGBT persons in their complete humanity. Just as thousands of LGBT persons have abandoned the quest to "pray the gay away," so too have thousands of gay and straight Christians abandoned harmful anti-gay theology and rhetoric in their churches and lives.

What I am saying is: Join us!!

These Christians see LGBT persons as good children of God, who are neither more nor less sinful than any other human on the planet. All humans have their sins. But LGBT person's sinfulness is not tied to their sexual orientation.

If you have a hard time with this, consider finding other folks who are struggling with these issues, and start a short-term study group. In fact, our church has produced a guide that could be very helpful to you.

It's called "This I Know," and it's a short-term study that uses an award-winning documentary, "For the Bible Tells Me So" to unpack these issues of the Bible and theology. Consider using it with small groups of Christians you know. Or, study it on your own.

But, please, find a way in your heart to affirm God's love for LGBT persons, without precondition. Many Christians have already made this move. Join us.

I beg you to realize the time is short. Not for LGBT persons. For The Church.
The truth is, many LGBT persons are so disgusted by these kinds of therapies --and by the general sexual hypocrisy of Christ's Church-- that they have already left the Church forever.

But! So have a great many heterosexual persons too, especially the young. Survey after survey shows that here in America acceptance of homosexuality is quickly becoming a "litmus issue" among the young.
I realize that last sentence is likely to anger some of you. But I speak the truth, friends.

Time after time, for example, I talk with United Methodist leaders in their 50s and 60s who speak of how their straight children --adults usually in their twenties-- are leaving the UMC forever because the UMC is not fully inclusive.

What I am saying is that repenting on this issue, finding a way to fully embrace LGBT persons, is not only the right thing to do in terms of how we treat individual LGBT persons. It is that. But it's also what God is calling The Church to, and is a part of the future of Christ's Church.

This is also true for the International Church too. This great essay reminds us that while Chamber's mea culpa is helpful in the American context, the closing of Exodus International does nothing to stop the harmful anti-gay rhetoric of many international Christian ministries.

The story says the following:

"Since 1995, Exodus International has been part of a worldwide umbrella organization called the Exodus Global Alliance, which has ministries throughout East Asia, the Pacific, and Latin America. The North American group actually announced it was withdrawing from Exodus Global Alliance last week, in what turned out to be a sign of bigger things to come. In a statement, the Global Alliance said that "This change in relationship ... releases both ministries to serve the Lord, the church and the people impacted by homosexuality according to each ministry's specific calling." The non-American branches will presumably keep operating for the time being."

Echoes of harmful American-led "ex-gay" ministries are likely to resound in the international church for some time to come. So, we must be clear not only for our own sake, but also so that the international church can disavow their harmful anti-gay theology too.

Again, for United Methodists, our General Rule to "Do No Harm" is instructive. If, as is the case, it's becoming crystal clear that these ministries are harmful in America, we must challenge the international church to "do no harm" as well.

So, all of these things, I beg of you.
I beg this out of love for my LGBT brothers and sisters (within and outside The Church).
I beg this out of love for The Church itself.

I ask not for comments. Nor for debate. I ask for your spiritual action.

If you haven't changed on this issue yet, I beg of you too now.

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Winter Is Coming. It's Almost Time.

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Fri, 21 Jun 2013 10:31:00 -0500

Let me get my full geek on, and offer you a George RR Martin quote for the day:

"Winter Is Coming."

I know. I know. That's crazy talk. The hottest days of Summer haven't even arrived. Whether you love Winter or hate it, it's foolish to talk about it being on the way.

But, scientifically? Seasonally? It's absolutely the truth of today.

Today's the Summer Solstice.
The longest day of the year.
The twin of the Winter Solstice on December 21st.
One quarter of the year from the Fall Equinox (My birthday, btw....)

I'm grateful that over the past few years I've taken the time to pay more attention to these earth-cycles. I wouldn't claim to be an expert on them, like good friends of mine who follow more earth-centered spiritual paths. But the journey itself, over a full-year, is fascinating to watch. I'm grateful that I pay more attention than I used to.

Over the past few decades, the Winter Solstice seems to have gotten a lot of attention in the public eye. Here in Dallas, we were blessed enough to have one of the largest Solstice gatherings in the nation for many years. Even many churches are doing "Longest Night" or "Blue Christmas" services on or around that date.

These kinds of things resonate deeply with me, because I hate the dark and the Winter so much. I really hate it. Facebook friends are surely beyond weary of hearing about this. But it's true. I hate the short days. Literally, the darkness makes me depressed. And the cold....jeez, I hate the cold.

Which is why I almost never complain about Summer. Not even the longest, hottest days of August. Summer, to me --even an oppressive string of 100-degree days-- makes Winter bearable. I've often said, give me a month of 100 degrees rather than a week below freezing. That's just how I roll. (1) Without knowing that Summer is coming, I might go crazy in the midst of some long February night.

I have friends who feel the exact opposite. Given them a "snow day" over any day in August. Give them a warm blanket, several layers of clothes, and a burning fire, and they couldn't be happier.

But here's the irony. Whether you love Summer or love Winter, the fix is always in.
To the point, as of mid-day today Winter is on the way, just as assuredly as Summer is on December 21st.

Yet, it never feels that way, does it? While both Solstices are always the longest and shortest days, they are almost never "coldest" and hottest."

Even though we are starting our slow, inexorably march toward "cool/cold," the hottest days are still before us. Same thing in winter. Around here at least, the really hard freezes almost always come in February.... freezing rain, sleet, snow.

It's a fascinating cycle to watch, if we slow down and step back far enough. My friend, Spider Johnson, just wrote about this on Facebook this morning:

"While the fullness of summer is yet to be expressed, and countless invertebrates sing the same song into the distance, nature's job is mostly done and all that's left is slow inertia and then patient waiting until the miraculous cycle re-awakens with the Vernal Equinox. I raise a glass to thee, Mother Nature, with inexpressible gratitude..."

What strikes me is that for our ancient ancestors, marking the quarter-time of each year might have been one of the ways they first experienced FAITH and HOPE.

We have all sorts of cultural definitions of faith and hope today. There are all manner of theological spiritual definitions ones.

My own favorite is the short line from St. Paul's:

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."

Faith is not something we can see. In fact, it's so far away from visible that all we can do is hope for it.

And hope isn't something seen, either. Hope isn't tangible, physical, "provable." If it was, it wouldn't be hope. (It would be "fact") If faith were these things it wouldn't be faith either. (ditto)

Meditate for a moment on the profundity and paradox of the phrase: "The assurance of things hoped for..."

The mere words themselves drip with paradox and irony. I mean, if "hope" is really "a sure thing" then is it really hope?

But, in the spiritual sense, this is exactly what we believe to be true. Hope IS a sure thing. Faith too. These things are real, tangible parts of "the reality of reality." No, they're not physical or provable. We cannot grasp them, hold them, own them. But they are a part of the gracious reality that God invites us to understand and embrace.

So, somewhere along the way, our ancestors learned to mark the seasons. Their first great celebrations seem to have coincided with these quarter-year observances. Winter Solstice, especially, came to be seen a great festival of light for many religious traditions. (Hannukah, Christmas, Dongzhi, Sol Invictus, Yalda, etc, etc...)

My own tradition happens to be Christian. But I can appreciate, and be grateful for the fact, that human beings of all sorts of varied traditions have "marked the time" of these special Solstice days. It speaks to a deep-level, perhaps Jungian, unity behind humanity's journey.

In my tradition, and in many others, faith is not seen. Just hoped for.

When we're in the dry heat of life's pains and sufferings --when we are parched by the death of loved one, shriveled up with loss and mourning-- right at that moment the cool is on the way. No, we can't feel it in the moment, literally. But it's there, spiritually.

When we're frozen, when we can't move or make a decision --when the chill of depression sets in and all seems dark and lost-- right at that moment the warm is on the way. No, we can't feel it then, either, literally. But it's there.

The seeds of every new birth are present in the midst of every death.
The power of every new love lays dormant within the shell of every loss.

The spiritual challenge of life is to find assurance, comfort, peace, and trust in things that are not tangible at all. Things that cannot be proven or seen with the eye. Things that are so far from tangible "fact" that all we can do is "hope" for them.

It means that, if you hate Winter (like me) you rejoice in celebrating the "Longest Night" or Winter Solstice near December 21st. You cling to the faith and hope that, "Summer is Coming."

And, vice versa for this very day. If you're a summer-hater, take comfort: Winter is Definitely Coming.

One of my favorite songwriters, David Wilcox once wrote a song that expresses this same faith and trust. If George RR Martin is known for "Winter Is Coming," David Wilcox is known for "It's Almost Time." Martin's expression is meant for today. Wilcox's song is its twin, for December 21st. Both remind us of the same truth.

So, I'll close with a bit of the lyrics, and a version of the video. It's on his very first album, "The Nightshift Watchman." (There's a link below...you should buy it...)
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The final truth of life is that true happiness is to be found by embracing every season.

Those of us who hate Winter are called to consider why, and come to terms with it. Because Winter will always come.

For those of you who hate these coming hot days of Summer, meditate on that too. Why is it that you hate it? I know, it's hot. I get that. But what does that mean for you? What spiritual message is there for you?

Maybe it means you have some dry, parched earth in your life that you are called to embrace.
Maybe you are being called to live-through some seemingly unbearable crucible of heat that has nothing to do with a celsius or fahrenheit.

Meditate on these things during the coming Summer months.

But know this. Even when these days seem most unbearable:
Winter is coming.
It's almost time.

"It's Almost Time" by David Wilcox
(click here for full lyrics or by buy this song)

"Just across the sea on this world so round
the sun's shining hot right now.
And even though the winter still surrounds this town
I can still feel that sun somehow.

When I know that my sun will shine just as sure as this world can spin,
I can hold on fine, cause it almost time, for that sun to come 'round again...

When your love grows cold and your heart grows dark
and the blame seems to fall on you.
Well look how seasons must change and don't think it so strange
that your love goes in circles too.

And just know that your sun will shine just as sure as this world can spin,
and I know you'll find, that it's almost time, for that love to come 'round again.
We can hold on fine, cause it almost time, for that love to come 'round again.""

1. While this is absolutely true, the deeper truth is that I really dig Fall. I love the changes Fall brings, and I am sure it has something to do with my birthday falling ON the Fall Equinox. It resonates me the deepest of all. The Summer/Winter dynamic is a powerful Ying/Yang. The Fall is a deep, meditative journey.

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The Dream is Now

noreply@blogger.com (When EF Talks) — Thu, 20 Jun 2013 11:13:00 -0500

It's hard to fathom that I haven't written anything on immigration in so long. Not to brag, but I was writing on immigration before immigration was cool. Or, at least, before there was a bill that stood a chance of passing.

So, now, the Dream Act is before us. It's got some chance of passing, although there seem to be a lot of weak-kneed Republicans out there as each day goes by.

Tonight, Northaven will host a screening of the documentary "The Dream Is Now." We'll see the thirty minute documentary, which traces the life of some of the "dreamers," then we'll hear from a few dreamers themselves. I will also make a few brief comments too. Here's the trailer for the film:

Here are the details:

"The Dream Is Now" Documentary Screening
Thursday, June 20th, 7 pm
Northaven UMC
11211 Preston Road
Dallas, TX 75230

The whole even should conclude around 8:30. We hope you'll come.

So, since I haven't written on immigration in so long, let me remind everybody of a few things:
1) First, this bill still creates an incredibly difficult thirteen-year "path" from the "dreamers." It's so far from the "amnesty" I favor (along with Ronald Reagan) that you can't even see amnesty from here.

Therefore, even if this passes, make no mistake: life is still difficult and challenging for immigrants and dreamers. If you think this bill's about to create a "free ride" for the Dreamers, think again. It's better than nothing...but We could, and should do more than than this.

2) There are very good spiritual and justice reasons that Christians should favor better treatment of immigrants. As I allude to, I've written about this much in the past. So, here's some of my writing, in case you're interested:

"Because You were Once An Alien"
Perhaps my most comprehensive blog on immigration issues, written just after Dallas' second "MegaMarch" in 2010. It cites just a few of the MANY scriptures where God calls us to treat immigrants as we would treat ourselves. If you only read one link here, I hope you'll read this one.
It also cites some of the great theological positions of the United Methodist Church.
Finally, I share a few stories of things I have seen over the years, personally.

"The Holy Family: A Meditation:
A Christmas meditation, that reminds us how the Holy Family was a migrant family.

The MegaMarch: Thoughts On a Historic Day, Immigration, and Racism
Combines thoughts about the first MegaMarch, and a sermon I preached the day of that march in 2006.

"Connecting the Dots on Immigration"
A blog I wrote, primarily to debunk the myth that immigrants get a "free ride" in America, or don't pay taxes. Both are bald-face lies. In fact, it's far more likely that immigrants pay into the tax system, but fail to receive any benefits from it.

I also want to direct you to some recent writing by my friend and colleague, Rev. Owen Ross. Owen has a blog out, right now that you should see:

"We Are Better Than This"
Owen makes the powerful case that our current immigration laws are eroding the trust between people and law enforcement. That makes all of us less safe. He shares powerful examples from his ministry at Christ's Foundry UMC in Dallas.

Hope you enjoy reading these things. It's an important time to remember that our Christian faith calls us to stand for immigrants, and that NOW is the time to take action.

Hope to see you tonight.
And hope you will feel called into action, by the depth of your convictions.

The dream is now.

(Leave a comment below. If you like this post, then "share it" or "like" it on Facebook/Twitter by clicking the box below, so others can see too. Comments here are moderated, and are approved at my discretion, when I can get to it..so be patient if they don't appear right away)