What I ♥ About It

My applause to you... mother of the year

2013-12-07T22:27:00.002-08:00

I have to give kudos to all the mothers out there with stair stepper kids, you know the ones with one on the hip and two others still in diapers. After babysitting my little crumbsnatcher and my glambaby I am just glad I made it out alive. Yes I have 3 kids and they are spaced out accordingly, the way it was meant to be for a withered soul like myself. Its like they never ran out of energy. No meant yes, stop running definitely meant run faster, those two drove me damn batty, I swear they double teamed me before I had a clue. I believe they were plotting my demise before I could even drag my weary bones out of bed.

From snatching the bottom half of the decorations off the tree to requesting everything other than the suggested menu, then when I give in they then start begging for what I had offered to them in the beginning. I just know they were trying to psych me out, OMG nap time could not have come quick enough. I was running around like a crazy person muttering expletives while tripping over Christmas ornaments. I must say I am impressed and would like to give an applause to anyone that can handle more than one munchkin at a time, cause honey I am burnt out and I think they gave me a twitch.

This represents my crazy day to a tee

They look sweet but glance a little deeper... there's evil lurking 0_o

My lil man's new do

2013-11-27T16:10:00.003-08:00

My lil man's first haircut and I can honestly say that I am glad that its gone. Just too much time taken to comb and wash it, I like having sons for the fact that you don't have to deal with doing hair. When my lil monkey was born he was covered lol and had a head full of hair and its been that way ever since...until now

Bye hair!

He's sitting still like a pro, thank goodness for those "first time haircut" videos on YouTube that I showed him before the big cut.

Wa-Laaa! 2 weeks and my man is still looking good

One of the many joys of being a mom...

2013-11-27T16:07:00.006-08:00

I've enjoyed all the many blessings of being a mom but the one that I just love the most is being woke up in the middle of the night by my 2 year old. His never ending request of sleeping in "mommy's bed" makes the decision of letting him a lot easier. Finally getting back to sleep and awakening to a foot in my face and an upside down kid. Then after many manual re-positionings I just deal with it until I can no longer breath because he's asleep on my head...aahhh MommyHood!

What happens after only 15 mins of sleep

2013-11-27T15:55:00.000-08:00

After dropping my son off at his dad's and staying later than usual, I made a cup of coffee because I was just feeling too sleepy and I still had to drive back home. I didn't add any cream just straight black coffee and lots of sugar. Finally I reach my house, aaahhh... walking into a quiet house all I could think about was sleeping through the night and finally getting to relax without my little crumb snatcher. I went into my bedroom, and listened....quiet...ahhh it was wonderful. Turned on my tv and what's this?! No NickJr. I found me a good show to get comfy and eventually fall asleep to.

I went through at least 2 episodes of Roseanne and a few Three's Company episodes before I realized it was 4am. OMGeeeee...I had to get some sleep! I only had 2 1/2 hours left before taking my 15 year old to school. I decided I needed a show that would put me to sleep, so I turned to ID (Investigation Discovery) the narrator's voice is sometimes soothing lol which sounds weird because he is basically the commentator for the crazies and murderers. Adjusting my pillow and listening to the melancholy voice of my announcer I finally dozed off at 615 am. My buzzer went off at 630. grrr....

I drag my butt out of bed, Still in my pajama pants (hey don't judge) I drop my son off at school. You would think I would come home and go to sleep. Nah....Working from home is sometimes a trap because your bed is just down the hall, rest wasn't even an option so I pushed on through my day. Before I knew it school was out, then I spent the majority of the evening picking up my son and his friends from school, dropping them off at basketball practice then rushing across town to get my lil one from daycare. By the time I get home and settled its almost 8 pm. The party doesn't end there, I spend about 2 hours chasing my lil one around trying to get him to sleep.

After all of this I finally close my eyes around 1130, in my dreams my son keeps coming to me saying "Its time" me being the loon I am, I was like omg God is sending me a message in my dreams. Again I hear the voice "It's time". Still dreaming I continue to hear him and I begin to see a faint figure. Finally my son shakes me and says, "MOM!!! Get Up!! Its time to go! buahahhahaahhaha...In my delirium of getting no sleep from drinking straight, black coffee I confused my 15 year old with a messenger from God...yeah I know....crazy

So I am hear to send out a public service announcement to all you coffee drinkers, Please Drink Responsibly!!!

Ear Muffs

2013-11-27T15:46:00.003-08:00

I was born with a certain character skill called sarcasm and sometimes, ok, maybe all the time this genetic disability has a symptom called Potty Mouth. This disease can be controlled when needed but when the occasion arises I do not hesitate to use what Merriam Webster refers to as, "offensive words that are used when people are angry." My condition not only uses these "offensive" words when angry but also in times of glee. Some may call it a character flaw but I have learned to live with this ailment, because it cannot be corrected with surgery. So grab your earmuffs people because I spew profanities like a sailor.

Traveling With My Booski

2013-11-27T15:36:00.002-08:00

Me and my little man recently took a little plane trip and I must say that my boo is a pro on the plane. When he wasn't sweet talking the flight attendants he was making sure his little tag along Ben10 was buckled safe in his seat, and yes his little friend had his own seat lol. I love traveling and I am glad that my little man has the gypsy bug like his mama. One complaint I had was the airline that we flew on, I'm usually a Continental, Virgin Airlines kind of gal and taking a chance on United only proved the point that you should stick with what you know.

When you pay a lot for your tickets you at least want to enjoy the amenities that are free on other flights. Like WiFi, honey they charged for the WiFi, and I won't forget to mention they even wanted us to pay for shows. I can understand charging for the movies but regular television shows, maybe I've just been spoiled.

And I guess I was asking too much when I wanted to sit in the same row as my little man on our connecting flight in New Jersey. Because they had us separated, which makes no sense to me. Who in the world thinks its okay to assign a 3 year old and his mother seats that aren't together, rows apart I might add??? To me that's just ridiculous that you have to ask to be put in a seat next to your child. Now it would've been a mess if I was like, "nah I'm cool let him sit by that total stranger over there," they would have been glaring at me like "Oh No She Didn't." 0_o lol with all that airline craziness thank goodness we arrived at out destination safe.

The plus of all that was I meet David Tutera, The Party Planner, which was so cool. I seen him walking through the airport at like 530am. I was like, "hey I know you, get over here and take a picture!" When we took the picture we had just got off our 6 hour flight and you know I was looking rough, so that picture will not get posted anytime in the near future lol. He was cool though, he even waited for me to dig through my big ol' bag to find my phone, ladies and gents he was looking very handsome and put together...unlike me -_-

Had to make a stop at Starbucks first

Look at that cute lil face, you wouldn't think he was a terror

My boo and his lil sidekick

Ben10 chilling in his aisle seat

Before Coffee, Where's My Wine

2013-11-27T14:21:00.001-08:00

Sitting here checking my emails and on my second cup of coffee, by the way. I came across an email that starts to make the wheels in my crazy little brain start to turn. Without even getting pass the subject line I instantly felt “some kind of way” about this message because its not the first one. The first one was from OurTime.com, "a fast and easy way to connect with single and active seniors," as they stated on their website (I linked it just in case anyone feels the need wink, wink). Anyways, this one, I've never received before and just the name itself makes my face scrunch up. Senior People Meet, was the sender that took the rest of the "pep out my step." Damn spam! Or was it?

Is it a coincidence that I start to receive emails for dating seniors once I turn 37? hmmm...Two questions I had when I opened this email was, 1. Am I that old that I need to be on a site for dating grandma's, and 2. Shit, am I old?? I've never felt like I needed to lie about my age or that getting older was anything but fabulous...until now. Are they trying to tell me something??? What happened to the usual male enhancement and porn spam that I complain about getting? Now I've been redirected to hook up with one of my elders. OMG! Am I an elder?

Well, I have been single longer than what's considered normal lol and my bones have been a lot creekier lately, if that's a word. Ugh leave it to me to turn an email into a conspiracy theory about me being old, single and oh yeah, did I mention old? So before I turn on myself first things first, I delete and block this evil website then I make a note to myself to never turn my nose up at those annoying "3 Steps to Cheating On Your Spouse Without Getting Caught," spam emails again.

2013-11-27T14:18:00.001-08:00

Using this month to send some extra prayers to my mother and the drove of other beautiful women whose lives have been affected by this devastating disease.

Random Mommy Snippet

2013-11-27T14:16:00.001-08:00

Why, why, why...

So my two, well almost three year old, is in the "why" stage and I have never answered so many questions in 20 seconds in my life. This is what I imagine an interrogator would be like minus the pull-ups and sippy cup.

Formerly Hot...Indeed 0_o

2013-11-27T14:09:00.000-08:00

So I've been reading the book "My Formerly Hot Life" by Stephanie Dolgoff, and I swear it has to be about me 0_o I have went from what I call fab-ulous to "ehhh whatever". I would have never gone more than one day without wearing my contacts over my glasses, now I have no clue where my contacts even are, and the crazy thing is I haven't even looked for them. There were days when I wouldn't dare leave the house without my face on and now I'm happily sporting "hobo chic" on a daily basis.

I've never even been one to be ashamed of my age or getting older but every time my bones creek or I get a "granny moment", it makes me wonder, where in the world and when, did my youth decide to jump ship? Every day without me realizing it, my coolness was seeping through the cracks. I was too far gone before even noticing it. There were many signs too, but knowing me they were probaly ignored. Sigh....life gave me the ol' bitch slap and I was none the wiser.

Knowing I'm not the only one lost in oblivion makes me feel so much better, because let's face it, who wants to suffer alone lol

Here is one of my favorite quotes from "My Formerly Hot Life"

Heeeeelp....I'm in limbo ya'll 0_o

"when you are ma'amed outside the deep south, it may dawn on you that somehow you have crossed an invisible line: You are not the young, relevant, in-the-mix woman you used to be. But neither are you old, or even what you think of as middle-aged. You are no longer what you were, but not quite sure what you are."

I'm from the south and was also in the military so I understand the ma'am thing and I never get offended when someone says it. To me its about respect, but I am feeling the part about not being old or middle-aged, no longer being "what I was" but not knowing who the heck I am???

Here's another good one...

"In actuality, most of the physical changes my body and my face had undergone over the last decade or so were gradual and fairly subtle. My ass, for example, which I'd never really paid attention to because, well, it was behind me, was all of a sudden crying out for a bra- I could literally feel it against the back of my thighs, threatening to merge with them unless I found a way to lift and separate."

I died laughing when I read this, I haven't reach the slouching butt territory yet but after reading this I'm about to go get my squats on ya'll 0_o This book is cute and has some funny revelations, I enjoyed reading that eventually one day I will live in spanx and my ass will soon droop and become mistaken for parts of my thighs lol can't wait

-My Formerly Hot Life

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My crazy life 0_o

2013-11-27T14:05:00.000-08:00

If I had to sum up my life to this point and all of the things I

have learned, I would say that the birth of my last child has made me soft. People say that after the first it only gets better, which is true, if you do not wait until you have one in college, one a junior in high school and the other challenging patrons in Safeway because he thinks he’s a Power Ranger. He has not gotten to the level where he’s wearing the whole outfit at Wal-Mart but he assumes that everyone that approaches him is an opposing force. I have gotten use to explaining to people before any action has been taken, that he’s suffering from the ailment of Power Ranger –ITIS, he’s had it for about 2 months now and we have taking steps of what we call the “weaning process”. They always get a laugh out of that.

Remembering my other two children when they were younger, who are now 20 and 16 years old, I cannot come to any theory as to what kind of voodoo my younger child has over me to make me turn to mush, disregard my strong disciplinary stance and melt like butter. When I was younger all my mother had to do was give “the look” and that was all that it took for me to halt all childish antics. Well I must say I carried on “the look” from generations before me and its powers have always been triumphant until now. Sometimes my oldest son just walks past me and shakes his head, laughing as my exhausted cries for order go overlooked.

Being a middle child I always wondered what kind of unexplained mystery the youngest child possesses over the rest. How acts that were impossible for others to get away with are practically ignored after a losing battle. My resilience, no nonsense parenting has spun into me listening to a 3 year old explain why, a nap just isn't in the cards and then him turning the tables suggesting that maybe it’s me who needs the nap. After great thought and taking a good look at myself in the mirror…not only wondering how long that cheerio has been stuck to my neck but reevaluating my new position on the totem pole I have come to the conclusion that although the empire has been taken over I will remain strong…because they can sense your fear =)

Darn kids...well I never

2013-11-27T14:01:00.003-08:00

So my daughter blocked me from her Twitter 0_o I know she is an adult but its not like I would inspect every syllable she wrote and question her crazy tweets...ok well, not all the time...ok I did lol but you don't block your mother! Once upon a time I use to be cool, at least I thought I was. Just don't ask my kids though because they will start off the answer with, words such as lame, weirdo and oh mother...yeah they call me Mother!!! I remember the mommy days when they adored me and thought I was the best thing to happen, ever. Now they block me from social networks and won't let me chaperon field trips for French class..That's right my oldest son won't let me tag along, sigh...Its not like I drop my kids off with rollers in my hair and in my housecoat but I will harass them by talking like Snoop Dog or doing the robot. I only do these things because they hate it and for some reason it makes my day when they squirm from embarrassment...is that so wrong 0_o

Crazy Kid

2013-11-27T13:47:00.003-08:00

The doctor told my lil boo thang that she had to check his heart to make sure he's healthy and he told her, "I don't have a heart, girls have hearts, boys have superheroes & power rangers." 0_o

Instagram Snippets

2013-11-27T13:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my baby

2013-11-27T13:41:00.003-08:00

Its my lil man's birthday and I am so in love with this kid. Happy 3rd Birthday my lil monkey

New York, New York...owww

2013-11-27T13:23:00.003-08:00

I love New York but all that hustle and bustle broke me down, I'm walking in the body of an 80 year old woman over here lol I'm more of a, take your time with a little stroll kind of gal. All that speed walking made my next trip a visit to my doctors office. You know who I blame, besides my bad bones?? My sister! The Nazi tour guide! She even gave me a speech every day about staying on her crazy schedule lol too much rushing for me...even though I ended up with xrays, it was beautiful and I had a ball.

Omg!That's my favorite sweater, Forever21 by the way

My sister & I looking too cute 0-0

Happy Birthday M...Kristole Marche'

2013-11-27T13:19:00.000-08:00

Today is my first born, the first love of my life, my schnuckum dukums, Kristole Marche's birthday!!! I would call her by her whole "government" but she doesn't seem to like her first name so I will just keep the fact that she hates the name I gave her at birth to myself...sigh...oh well...Anyways, its her 20th birthday and I must say she is a cutie just like her mama, stubborn but fabulous all the same. I was going to put up a lot of embarrassing photos, cuz thats just me, but this time instead of being that mother, that I usually am. I am just going to put up ones she won't call me complaining about 0_O I love this kid and I am so glad she is in my first monkey

I added this one just because she hates clowns lol

She's really going to love this one lol

Happy Birthday!!! Markeeza...ooops I mean Kristole Marche'