That sounds fine and dandy, doesn’t it? Think you’re capable of doing it? Really…are you? Go to a social gathering (personal, professional, whatever) and meet an interesting person and suddenly you’ve got an amazing job offer, have met your future spouse, or made a best friend for life.

“That stuff only happens in the movies”you may be thinking. Well actually, no, no it doesn’t. It’s not only possible, but it’s much easier than you think. All you have to do is be in the mindset that good things happen every day and you simply have to be open to them. Take the blinders off, look around as you do your task and who knows what you will find.

Imagine this: You’re at work, doing the most boring of all research. It’s certainly not something that gets your blood flowing. We can approach this task in one of two ways:

1. The yucky way - nose to the grindstone, you do your task very begrudgingly and you finish up after some time.
2. The fun way – eyes and mind open to new opportunities. Hm, you were looking for replacement trash cans for the office and you suddenly find an entirely new way to sort trash and recyclables and think you can make a business out of it. Go for it!

Fine…maybe the thought of that doesn’t do squat for you. You’re more interested in meeting someone cool. Another example. Hmmm…let’s see. Grocery shopping. Blech! How can that be fun???

1. The yucky way – Make a list, go to store, buy your stuff, go home.
2. The fun way - Have a list (it’s always good to get everything you need) but then just go. You’re looking at rice and think “hm, I’d like to learn how to make some sort of curry dish. Or maybe make some burritos. Maybe stir fry?” and then start wandering the store thinking of what you’d like to learn. Smile and talk to people as you stroll around the store. There’s no telling who you’ll meet.

These are just two brief examples of how you can improve your life simply by getting past that “I must perform this task and that’s that” mentality and broadening your horizons to live life, enrich life, experience life. Being open to new opportunities can help with any aspect of life…life, love, business (you can read more business and entrepreneurial stuff on the sister site of ChiaTown.com) so get to it and start enriching.

You can do it…I know you can. Why? Because it really is just that easy.

First…what is it that makes you happy? Defining what makes one happy makes it easier to define where one can be happy. Likewise, what is it that drives you absolutely insane and makes you miserable? This too can play a big part in what makes you happy or not.

Think about this for a minute. Someone says to you “you can be happy anywhere”. It’s true to a point. A generally positive person can find happiness just about everywhere. A friendly and social person will make friends no matter where they are and they’ll have fun all over town (or out in the wilderness if that’s where they prefer to be while sharing time with someone). However, if you absolutely loathe the heat, how happy can one be in the Sahara? If someone hates crowds, don’t you think this person may find it easier to be happier out in the middle of a small town as opposed to living in the middle of New York City? I think so.

This thinking all stems from my most recent trip from Atlanta to Santa Cruz. I have lived all over the United States and traveled to many more spots. Everywhere I’ve lived I’ve been able to meet some pretty darn good people and have a good time. My life has shifted focus in each location (for example, in Atlanta I have seen more live music shows, played a lot more soccer, frequented a few more eating and drinking establishments, etc while my time living in Santa Cruz was mainly spent outdoors hiking, surfing, mountain biking, road biking, snowboarding, running our own company and helping other entrepreneurs run their companies) but nonetheless I’ve been happy for the most part wherever I live.

“For the most part” is the integral part here. There are things about Atlanta that drive me nuts, such as really bad traffic (second worst in the U.S.), not-so-temperate weather (quite hot and humid in the summer and cold in the winter…granted it’s colder in other parts of the country), nowhere to ride my bike. Santa Cruz is tough because the California economy is sucking it big time right now and it costs a bit more for housing out there.

My trip so far has been quite amazing however. Entrepreneurs everywhere. People who love being outdoors. Chill personalities. These are all things I hold dear to me and I’ve pretty much had a permagrin on my face since I’ve been here. My brain has been spinning with business ideas while talking about business with fellow geeks or while sitting on the beach with my surf bum friends.

So just what am I getting at here? As usual, it’s time for us to all look deep into ourselves and define what makes us happy. What are our passions? Are we reaching for them or are we stuck in a rut? If we’re in the rut, what is keeping up from achieving our full potential?

Most people respond by being around people that think along the same lines. Creative people bounce creative ideas off each other. Athletes bounce training ideas off each other and train together. Business people run business ideas off each other.

Where are you? Are you surrounded by the people you should be surrounded by? Take some time and let’s find out how we can do that. Making this simple change can improve your life dramatically. Look around your neighborhood. Look around your town. Your state. Your country. The world. If you aren’t happy, it’s time to make a change. Sometimes a small change is all it takes (join a social soccer league, a knitting club, a book club…whatever it is) and sometimes a bigger change is needed. Make a move if need be. If you hate ice and snow, what the hell are you doing living in Antarctica?

This trip has certainly had me thinking about my happiness. I’ve gotten a good bit of work done from the energy I’ve been filled with. I’ve pondered what makes me happy and what I need to do. I’m setting the ball in motion, writing this, doing that, creating this, thinking about that. Like all people, I want to be happy. Now to do what it takes to be happy instead of complaining about the economy or a bum knee and getting on with what we need to do…follow our passions and be happy.

Did I leave this post fairly ambiguous? Of course I did…I want to get some good dialog going and see what people think. It’s amazing what can come out in your OWN head when you engage in conversation. Deep down thoughts and feelings suddenly arise and you have that “ah ha” moment. Let’s get this going…

This past weekend we had a memorial service for my mother (my giant family was not able to convene in October when she passed away so we set something up near most of the family so we could all get together). It was a simple gathering as she wanted. Nothing too solemn or somber, just family getting together and sharing stories. A common theme in all the stories shared about my mother was “she taught you how to laugh at yourself”. This is so true.

So why is it important to be able to laugh at yourself? Does that mean you have no pride? Not at all. What it means is you can screw up, laugh about it and learn from it, and try again. Not being able to laugh at yourself, well you may just screw up and then give up from frustration or hurt pride.

A rather simple example is when I was learning how to snowboard. At 34. Isn’t that when most people learn how to snowboard? Oh my…it was a sight to behold. I’m sure I fell well over 100 times on that first day alone. Hell, there were times I fell getting off the chairlift. What kept me going? Laughing at how funny I must have looked cartwheeling down the hill, getting the snow off my face, standing up and zooming down the hill again. I think “hm, what if I couldn’t laugh at that? I may have just given up”. Instead, I’ve been going on a yearly trip with friends since then and have pushed myself a bit each year to get better and better and it’s just a damn good time no matter how silly things may look. “Hey, I think I’ll go launch myself off that jump. Get the camera ready”. If I land, cool. If I fall, we all have a good laugh and good stories later.

If you’ve got that ability already, you know what I’m talking about. I’m sure you can look back at various instances in your life where not taking yourself too seriously has given you the ability to learn more, to do more, and obviously to enjoy life more.

If you’re one of the ones that is reading this going “what the hell is he talking about? Laughing at yourself? Sounds dumb”, well, you’re kinda missing out. On life. On learning. On a lot of good things in life. Here…let me give you a list of reasons why laughing at yourself can really help you in life.

Why Laughing At Yourself Rocks

1. You’ll learn more – Putting your guard down and doing whatever task it is, no matter how hard or how silly, means you learn more. If you fail, you can laugh it off and continue at it until you have it down.
2. You’ll get good stories out of it – Oh yes you will. “Just Do It” from Nike means putting that guard down, doing it, and having a great story of triumph or a funny story of “you should have seen that”.
3. Criticism is better – When you’re able to laugh at yourself, you’re more than likely able to accept criticism better too (which obviously leads to better learning). Not only that, people will feel more at ease offering constructive criticism as they know they can just blurt out “man you looked silly with your foot like that. Here, try this” and boom, you’ve got it.
4. Laughing is good for you – It is. Studies prove it. Might as well have another reason to laugh.
5. Pride can be dangerous – Too much pride can be dangerous for many reasons (I’m not going to list them all out here). One main danger is that this pride may keep you from doing things because “I don’t want to look stupid”. Tough. Get over that pride, do it. If you nail it, rock on! If you fumble a bit, laugh it off and then have a little pride (with some humility of course) knowing you took on a new challenge and learned something.
6. Life is just better – Roll up 1-5 and you can see how life in general can be so much better if you can just go through life like a bright-eyed innocent child, wanting to explore and learn, laugh off the pain and failures and keep on going.

That’s just a simple list of how laughing at yourself can improve your life. Let’s think of some fun real world situations where this helps.

Asking a girl out. Maybe you spilled something on yourself or said something really dumb. Laugh about it. She’ll see you’re a fun guy to be with and won’t get bent out of shape over the littlest things and actually dig that about you.

Take on a new hobby. Whatever it is, you may make a complete mess of it the first time. “Yeah, I was building a model. I accidently used the steering wheel as a tire.” Ha! That’s a funny story. I’m sure you’ll learn to pay attention to the directions a bit better now, huh?

Take on a new sport. Yeahhh…see above about the snowboarding experience. Or imagine learning how to do flips off the diving board and instead doing a good bellyflop. It may sting a bit but just laugh it off, tell the story, and get that flip down.

I think you get the gist here. I think you can also see how not having the ability to laugh at yourself may hinder you as you take on all these challenges or tasks in life.

Laugh!
Enjoy it.

I thank my mother for teaching me all this. Let me tell ya…I’ve got a lot I can laugh about as I look back at life. I can also tell you that the people who laugh at themselves have probably lived a fuller life than those that don’t. Let’s get out there and live life.

PS – If you want to see how laughing at yourself can help you succeed in business, there is a short post on up at ChiaTown.com.

A few days ago I was rearin’ to write as my mind was spinning with all sorts of goodness. Then, as things tend to happen in our crazy modern lifestyle, I let time pass as I tried to take care of other things and now all that wild emotion is just a big frenzy of emotion swirling around with nothing solid enough to grasp onto. So, given that there’s so much up there but nothing worth waxing poetically about (or tossing my rhetoric your way), I leave you with ten things to do today. A simple list that can easily be done. Perhaps you should print out this list and go through each item every week. Baby steps…all leading to a better life for us all.

Ten Things To Do Today And Every Day

1. Smile - It’s good for you. It also affects your mood and puts you in a good mood while also putting others in a good mood.
2. Take a walk – It’s good for you. It’s been shown to reduce stress, clear the mind, and obviously it’s good for the body.
3. Turn off the TV – It’s good for you (do you see a theme here?). Studies show watching the TV actually burns less calories than sleeping. Plus you’ll find much better things to do with your time.
4. Call or write to an old friend – They’re friends for a reason, right? Check up on them, catch up, keep good people in your life.
5. Smile more – It’s good for you…enough said.
6. Thank a family member or a friend - SOMEONE in your life has helped you in ways that have impacted your life greatly, either with a single event or a lifetime of support. Thank them for it, let them know it’s appreciated.
7. Do something manually – It’s good for you. Use your hands and your brain. Try washing your dishes by hand. Or make some part of the meal from scratch. You’ll be surprised at how therapeutic it can be.
8. Think about a best period in your life – Think about it. Why was this “the best time in life” for you? Now try to replicate that.
9. Hobbies - Get back into an old hobby or get a new one. It keeps the mind active and it’s just plain fun. The benefits are far stretching…do I really need explain them all here?
10. Set a goal – Set any goal, be it a long term major goal (“I want to travel to Italy next year”) or a quick easy goal (“I want to go for a hike this weekend”) and go for it. Having a goal in mind gives us something to strive for.

There…wasn’t that easy? I think we can all do this. I know we can. Now we just have to do it.

For now, I shall thank my mother for having taught me so much in life and for continuing to teach me even after her passing. Well done Mom.

We all get busy. We all get bogged down now and then with work. With family duties. With whatever life has to throw at us at the time. Sickness. World economy. Daylight saving time (of course that really isn’t the case now with it being summer in North America). It happens.

I’ve recently been rejuvenated beyond belief and it feels good! Why is that? Two reasons really. Ok, maybe three. It started with a new company I’ve co-founded with someone that combines a few of my passions…running, writing, and creating. Sure I’ve been busting my ass for weeks on end working on the website after a full day of work (and a few hours each day in the car for the commute). Draining? Yes. Worth it? Hell yes. Creating something for a community (in this case, the running community) as well as creating a business drives me. I also love the fact I’ll be doing more writing (I mean come on, why else do I have half a dozen websites and blogs to keep up with?).

The other two are loosely related. I had a good friend come visit a couple weeks ago. A cycling buddy of mine who I’ve known since the early days of our time at Carnegie Mellon. We’ve done random visits to each other’s places over the years and it’s always a good time. Talking to him about business ideas, lifestyle ideas, etc is always invigorating. Number three is tied in with all this because he brought “4-Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferriss for me to read. Holy crap that’s a good book. It’s not for everyone…but I’m suspecting if you are a reader of WaxPorhetoric then it’s probably for you. I mean, only if you truly believe in wanting to live life to the fullest…crazy stuff like that. It is a timely read as I have been slowing down to reconsider my life, where I am, and where I’m going.

We all need little reminders here and there to stop and smell the roses. Sometimes the reminder can be your cat or dog wanting to play with you. Or perhaps it’s your kid wanting to be stuck to your side and spend time with you. Or maybe you read something that made you take pause. Whatever it is, don’t dismiss it. Slow down for a minute, think about your passions, and do what you can to follow them!

It is once again time to reflect upon love, life, and death. Some of us are fortunate to find love in various ways in life. Some sadly hardly find it. Some live life to the fullest while others get caught up in the rat race and let life slip by. Suddenly, when death arrives, we may be left pondering it all. Pondering how we’ve lived our own life and pondering how we’ve affected others. Then again I suppose there are some out there that really don’t care…but I’m guessing those people aren’t reading this post.

So why another post on love, life, and death? What kind of life experience has the ponderous juices flowing again? It’s the sickness of a young kitten. Sparky, my 7 month old Burmese (she’s pretty cool…she has her own blog at www.SparkyTheCat.com) has fallen ill. The vet has been baffled by her sickness (diarrhea, lethargic, dehydrated, no appetite…sad all around) and thus she’s been taken to a specialist. What was once thought to be her colon turning in on itself (that would certainly cause internal problems…yikes) is now feared to be something worse…much worse.

Needless to say, this all came as a giant kick in the gut as Sparky and I have become rather close. Anyone that has seen us together has seen the bond that has formed. Always waiting for me at the door when I get home, constantly on my lap (well, when we’re not playing fetch together), sitting calmly on my shoulder as we go to the pet store or to the vet…it’s a strong bond as she comes looking for me no matter where I am in the house. Hearing that she could be terminally ill (there is a chance it’s a really bad bacterial infection…cross your fingers) sent me back to pondering life and what I’m doing with it. As I lay on the couch with Sparky on my chest post-surgery, I look at her and feel the bond we share. And I wonder how something so great can have the threat of being torn away. Something all too familiar…such as my mother’s passing less than a year ago. Another instance of a bond so strong that anybody in the same room could see that we could tell story after story with non-verbal cues and sparse phrases.

I sit here typing away as Sparky sleeps on my lap. Another reminder that life can be far too short. The vet bills…they racked up quite quickly. Looking down at precious life that is curled up on my lap, I don’t care about those bills. I care about her life. I care about the life I am living. I care about how I am affecting people around me. I care about living life with my loved ones to the fullest.

All these things I care about and I know it’s not the easiest path to follow. It’s fairly unrealistic in today’s fast-paced materialistic me-centric society to stop worrying about paying bill after bill (especially in this recession when many people are trying to care for their families or protect their wealth) and simply say “I want to live life”.

Sad…but true.

However, I want to live life. And I know there are others out there that want the same thing. There are people who have had near-death experiences and are rediscovering life and looking deep into who they are and who they want to be. An admirable way to live…to learn from mistakes, to learn from being on the edge, to learn from any situation and to grow from it.

I sit here, bills piling up, wanting to live life. We need to try to remember to do this. We need to shed the daily “tasks” and enjoy the daily discoveries. It’s tough…I know. It will be a concerted effort for a while until it becomes second nature. It’s easier when you find similar people with similar views on living life to the fullest. Let us find them, embrace them, embrace life.

What are some things you can do to stay calm?

That’s a good start for all of us with our busy lives. These simple acts alone will get you through the stressful times during the day. For a more calming life we can employ other longer-lasting techniques such as meditation, a fitness program and a healthier diet that will all help keep our minds and bodies in a less-stressed state.

Smile…enjoy the people around you and enjoy your weekend.

Yeah yeah yeah…we all hear about how smiling is good for you. How being happy is good for you. It’s true…it really is. However, I’m not here to talk about all the health benefits of having a positive attitude (and I’ll try to refrain from getting to all the scientific research that shows how the body’s own chemistry changes based on your mood, stress, etc). Instead I’m here to talk about how smiling can be fun.

Take this for an example. A few weeks ago I was off to get some badly needed groceries. I was out of food so I HAD to go. It was right around rush hour but my schedule was full thus I couldn’t put it off until a less crowded time. So I went, knowing full well it was going to be crazy crowded. Now THIS is where I did things different than most people around would do. Instead of grumbling and thinking “ugh, this is going to suck” I instead thought “it will be crowded but there will be some good people watching. You know things will be slow…just go slow with it”. So I did.

Walking around the store, taking my time. Looking at this, checking out that.

“Hm, I never saw that there before”.

“Oh, I could probably cook something yummy with that.”

Every now and then I’d get a chuckle out of people losing it as they rush around in a tizzy.

Another time there was one small group of people (clearly together) that just stood there blocking an aisle. Annoying, yes. This woman with her child behind me just sighs “oh laaawd, really?”. I turned, chuckled, she goes “oh, did I say that out loud?” and I replied “yup, we’re all thinking it” still with a smile on my face. She ended up smiling, we chuckled and then moved on.

Imagine how differently that one incident would have been had I been frowning. First, I probably would have been snippy with the group. Second, the woman would have seen that she wasn’t the only annoyed person and that would have annoyed her even more. Then we’d keep feeding off each other’s negative energy until something not-so-great happened.

The point of my little grocery store story telling is this. The trip could have sucked big time had I let it. Instead I chose to smile. It was this decision to smile that kept me calm throughout the trip, was infectious and helped other people to smile, and all-in-all it wasn’t a bad trip at all.

Smiling is fun…try it.

Watch people turn their frowns into smiles.
Watch people look at you and wonder “what’s wrong with them?”
More importantly, watch your mood be elevated simply by smiling.

Remember, it really is a choice between happiness and the opposite. Let us all choose happiness.

It’s been almost six months since my mother passed away. I can honestly say this is by far the hardest thing that I have ever gone through. I’m coping, I’m managing, but understandably I still have my moments. I feel very fortunate to have a very loving family and a very great group of supportive friends that have helped me no matter what I needed. And just what do I need? Just what does anyone need after losing someone so dear? It depends. It depends on the person and it depends on the situation. Sometimes we need to be alone. Sometimes we need a drink and to catch up. Sometimes we need to let loose. Sometimes we need to cry and sometimes we need to laugh. We are truly blessed when we are surrounded by people that know what we need at that specific moment and they deliver…no questions asked.

I’m slowly getting back into my groove. The groove of following my passions, the groove of helping others realize their goals and dreams. It’s taken a bit longer than expected…but you know what, I think that’s ok.

I had a dream last night. I dreamt I met Hines Ward. Those who know me know that I am a Steelers fan and especially respect Hines. I had my mother following Hines…”I love his smile” she would say”. Thus…meeting Hines was symbolic not only in the sense that I love Hines as a player and a person, but also as a connection to my mother. I told Hines all about my mother. I told him how much she enjoyed watching him play and how she would say “he has such a beautiful smile”. Being able to tell him that meant the world to me. And…as dreams go, they make sudden changes. Suddenly I was holding my mom. Crying. Sad, but happy. She held me, making sure I was ok. In this dream I was not sad. Yes, I cried, but it was a good cry. I felt my shoulders coming in and she kept pushing them back. I would curl up again as I cried and once again she pushed them back. This happened at least three more times and I finally held them back. I know that she was looking out for me, keeping me strong, keeping my shoulders back and chin up.

So what’s the point of this post? This post that has been long overdue…this post that is seemingly a ramble of “this is what I thought and felt” after a long silence. It’s pretty much what I said earlier. It’s a big thank you to who all who have been supportive. It’s a reminder to all of you who have been or who are going through tough times. The reminder? That no matter how bad things seem, you can make it through. That you’ve got people you can count on. That if you live life in a good way, your support group will be even bigger. If you’ve been good to all those around you, you’re probably saying “thank goodness I’ve got my support group”. If you feel yourself lacking in that group, take some time to reflect on life and see how you can make everything around you better.

One thing I am in continuous awe of as I think of my mother. EVERYTHING was beautiful to her. Hines’ smile. A website that I would put up. A picture that my father would paint. A song that my father would write. A plant outside. A random child’s laughter. She saw beauty everywhere. How many of us do that? I thought I did…but I was wrong. Since this beautiful soul left us I have come to slow down and think about the beauty that is around us. In my family. My friends. Music. Random things I see out on the town. She was right…there really is beauty everywhere. We just have to stop getting caught up in the rat race and see it.

Let us all continue to learn in life. It’s easy to say we learned something. To truly learn is to take it to heart and carry it with us, no matter if it came from a happy learning experience or sad. It doesn’t matter where it came from…as long as we learned something.

The most important thing to learn? To learn to love…

1. You will go through a variety of emotions
2. Everything and anything will remind you of them
3. You will more than likely experience a harder impact a short time after rather than immediately after
4. You will re-evaluate your priorities in life (more than usual)
5. You will smile as you remember you can carry on their legacy and memory
6. You may burst into tears at any given moment
7. You must carry on with life
8. Sometimes you will feel social, other times quite anti-social
9. Sometimes you will want to be mellow, other times go absolutely wild
10. You must remember to see and appreciate the positive

Ok…so now that we’ve got the basics, let’s explore these a bit more in depth. Perhaps some of you are experiencing all of this right now, perhaps some of you are about to experience it. Hopefully this can help prepare you for what is to come in life.

1) The emotions…egads. You’ll go from sorrow (“I miss her”) to anger (“It’s just not fair. Why did this happen to somebody so good for the world?”) to every other emotion in the book…and then you’ll be numb at times as you get ready to make the move to yet another emotion or simply the same one again after a breather.

2) The reminders…they’ll happen everywhere. Of course there will be the obvious, such as seeing something they gave to you, something they really liked, a song, a smell. Other things will suddenly appear. For example, I drink coffee and I drink tea. However, I was drinking a LOT more tea as I spent the last few months with my mother. I was making tea shortly after she passed and I stopped what I was doing and thought about her. Even though it was something I had done for years before, it was suddenly something that reminded me of her.

3) Immediately after my mother’s death, I was fine. I guess I was still in “go mode” taking care of this and that and preparing for what was to come. Friends even toasted me and said “I have no idea how you do it”. However, once the dust settled and things slowed down, it really started sinking in. Wow…she really is gone…

4) Some people tend to re-evaluate their priorities from time to time. Big events (birth, death, sickness, marriage, etc) tend to be great catalysts for this. Some people tend to do this more often than others. Death however certainly makes you take pause. How can I change my diet so this doesn’t happen to me? Am I living life to the fullest? Do I really care about this as much as I believe I do? Who do I want to be? Where do I want to go in life? Use this opportunity to make yourself a better person for yourself and for those around you.

5) Needless to say, if you’re feeling a bit devastated by the death of someone then it’s safe to assume that they impacted your life greatly. Carry on their memory and their legacy with pride.

6) The free flowing tears can jump out of nowhere and grab you. Obvious times will be those memories mentioned previously. Yet other times you may find yourself bawling your eyes out for no known reason. Embrace it…sometimes you need a good cleansing. Perhaps you will come to realize later what set you off, perhaps you won’t. Don’t worry about it. It’s normal…and it’s healthy.

7) Some people completely shut down when they grieve. Whereas some down time is good for grieving, shutting down completely for an extended time isn’t the healthiest thing to do. Not only that, do you think the deceased would be pleased to know you weren’t carrying on with life? Not really. Mourn…it’s natural. But we must carry on with life. Let us carry on with more vigor as we look at those new priorities in life.

Sometimes you’ll want to be out and about and socialize with the people. Sometimes you won’t. There’s no real telling when you’ll feel one over the other. Again, it’s another natural thing. Go with it. Just make sure you do what’s best for you. Don’t be forced to go out if you need your alone time. Don’t stay at home wrapped up in the blanket if you need to be around friends. Do what you must.

9) Just as with the previous point, there will be times you’re feeling quite mellow and just want to chill (in or out of the house…either way, you’re feeling mellow). Then there are the times you’ll just want to go nutty and experience life to the fullest. You’ll want to be daring and wild or experience things you’ve only dreamed about before. Do both (within reason). If you’ve got a wild hair, do it. If you want to chill to a movie, do it.

10) As hard as it may seem, good things can come out of all of this. We must remember to keep our eyes open and see the positive. More importantly, we must remember to appreciate the positive and continue to do so. Perhaps you’ve gained new views on life. Made new friendships. Tightened the bonds with those close to you. Whatever the case may be, let’s appreciate the positive and not dwell on the negative.

This obviously isn’t the most comprehensive list but it’s a good basis of what many of us will go through or what we are currently going through. We can only hope to continue to learn through life’s lessons and to live each day to the fullest. The death of a loved one sucks…there is no doubt about that. It sucks big time, and there are times where you just want to scream, cry, do nothing, do something extreme…who knows. It’s ok. Take solace in the fact that after the ebb of each wave there is the flow to help push you along.

For those of you who are on the verge of losing a loved one or who have just recently lost someone close, my heart goes out to you. I hope this short list can help you prepare for what you may feel and I hope that it helps you realize that you are not alone. We are all in this world together and life can be so much richer if we help each other out.