I’m looking at you GOP, I’m looking at all of you republicans that are making it harder for a super villain to get work because you’re putting a corner stone on all the evil, what with your hatred of Health care, hatred of gays and just your general hatred.

I’m not even sure when it started, maybe it was all the desperate attempts at subverting the public’s trust in Barack Obama during the election. Instead of actually focusing on strengthening their own platform and policies, they decided to seed doubt, distrust and fear into the American public. Who really cared what John McCain’s policies in regards to the struggling economy were when the voters were really concerned as to whether or not Obama was a secret, Israel hating, commie-Nazi from Kenya? And even though they didn’t win the election, their conspiracy theories did struck a note with the already paranoid and xenophobic Right, and within no time the Good Old Party had managed to amass itself a sizeable cult following.

And now they’re not even trying to be subtle with their villainy. 30 Republican senators voted against an amendment that would punish military contractors that restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court. I’m bad, but seriously, you’re going to vote against an anti-rape bill? That’s pretty evil, even by my standards. Even worse, the republicans are getting upset because the president won a peace prize? I don’t know if they’re upset because they think he’s done nothing to earn the award, they’re just being needlessly partisan, or if they secretly just hate peace. There have even been conferences and mumbled sabre rattlings in regard to instigating a military coup – they want to overthrow the world’s most powerful nation: That’s villainous ambition that us little guys just cant compete with!

It’s not easy being a super villain. We’re hated by our enemies, hated even more by our peers, and it’s almost impossible to walk down the street without getting accosted by an up and coming super-hero who wants to prove himself. The hours suck and we don’t get any kind of government assistance. Forget about ever getting a steady side job or a girlfriend. Now we have to deal with the Republican party strong arming us out of work.

I have to concede though, their plan to poison the country’s water supply with copious amounts of tea is a stroke of genius, what will they think of next?

-The Crimson Nematode

Struggling Super Villain.

Foreign acts often draw protests by the Pan Malaysian Islamic Party (PAS), whose youth wing succeeded in forcing Beyonce to cancel a 2007 concert and sought last year to prevent Canadian singer Avril Lavigne from performing in this mainly Muslim country of 27 million people.

“We are against western entertainment that promotes hedonism. We do not want our youth to be misled,” said Ahmad Sabki, vice-president of PAS Youth, was quoted as saying in Thursday’s New Straits Times newspaper.

Malaysia’s image as a moderate Muslim country has been hit by the recent sentencing to caning of a woman caught drinking beer.

Beyonce is due to perform in Malaysia on October 25 for the first time, if she is allowed, as part of a global tour, the newspaper said.

Earlier this month, Malaysia initially banned Muslims from attending a concert by U.S. hip-hop band The Black Eyed Peas, which was sponsored by Guinness, one of the brands owned by the world’s biggest spirits group Diageo.

The ban was reversed, but a senior official said it was up to the individual’s “better judgment” to attend the event.

PAS conservatism on cultural issues has caused problems for the three-member opposition alliance of which it is a part, said Zaid Ibrahim, a former law minister who is now a senior opposition politician.

“It is as if for PAS Youth, the effort to fight corruption, abuse of power and inciting racism is less important compared to the efforts to make sure the young who are just learning to love and wish to be entertained freely are obstructed from enjoying a little freedom,” Zaid wrote on his website

Joyner’s son told a deputy that his 2002 silver Kia and his 46-year-old father were both gone when he woke up early Monday morning. The man’s son also said that $50 in change was taken from a piggy bank that belonged to J

Police said they found more than $2,400 in cash and a holdup note in Restaino’s pockets. They said he was not armed. He has been charged with second-degree robbery and was being held in the Union County Jail in lieu of $100,000 bail. Police did not know whether he had retained a lawyer.

Salisbury saw a man standing outside his pickup truck and yelling that a woman in the passenger seat was having a baby. The trooper helped turn the infant while the mother pushed a final time. Then he removed the umbilical cord from the baby’s neck and helped the baby to breathe. The mother and baby are healthy and resting comfortably at a hospital.

Mariangela Simao said in a statement this week that the e-mails may help people “to tackle these diseases directly and with minimum exposure.” One of the cards shows a young man reclining in his underwear. It reads: “Hi! I don’t know if this is the best way to tell you, but I’ve learned that I have an STD.” The card suggests the recipient see a doctor.

A police report showed that the man failed field sobriety tests when he couldn’t walk in a straight line or recite the alphabet. Two breath analysis tests also showed that his blood-alcohol level was nearly four times the legal limit.

The man faces charges of DWI and careless driving. He was bonded out of the Sandoval County Jail a day after his arrest.

The Federal Court of Justice said it had rescinded a conviction against a man fined 4,200 euros ($5,993) for possessing 100 T-shirts due for sale emblazoned with the words “Blood & Honor” — a translation of the Hitler Youth slogan “Blut und Ehre.”

The display of Nazi symbols is forbidden in Germany, but the court said the= context of the original phrase had been sufficiently distorted to render its usage legal.

“By translation into another language, the Nazi slogan, which is characterized not just by its meaning but also by the German language, is fundamentally transformed,” it said.

The court added, however, that the man could still be convicted of using the English phrase “Blood & Honor” because it was also the name of a far-right organization that is banned in Germany, but that the original verdict had not considered this.

(Writing by Dave Graham; editing by Robin Pomeroy)

Toledo police say security cameras recorded the robbery shortly after 3 a.m. Monday. The car was found burned behind a Toledo library, about a mile and a half from the clinic. Police are still looking for the suspect.

“Here is a once in a lifetime and into eternity opportunity to spend your eternal days directly above Marilyn Monroe,” says the advertisement. “In fact the person occupying the address right now is looking face down on her.”

The burial plot is currently occupied by the late Richard Poncher, described by his widow as an entrepreneur who bought two tombs from baseball player Joe DiMaggio, Monroe’s ex-husband, as the pair were divorcing in 1954. Monroe died at the age of 36 in 1962. Poncher died at the age of 81 in 1986.

Elsie Poncher said she would move her husband’s remains over one spot into a crypt intended as her final resting place if the sale was successful and she would be cremated instead when the time came. Bidding for the plot opened at $500,000 and had reached $2.5 million by Sunday. No one from eBay was immediately available to comment on the bidding process or to give more details.

Poncher told the Los Angeles Times that she hoped to raise enough money to pay off the $1.6 million mortgage on her Beverly Hills home. “I can’t be more honest than that,” she told the newspaper. “I want to leave it free and clear for my kids.”

The Westwood Village Memorial Park is home to many celebrities, including Dean Martin, James Coburn, Roy Orbison, Truman Capote, Natalie Wood, and, from this year, Farrah Fawcett. Playboy’s Hugh Hefner bought the crypt beside Monroe in 1992.

(Writing by Belinda Goldsmith, Editing by Miral Fahmy)

Traces of senecio vulgaris or common groundsel, that can cause extensive liver damage if ingested in large amounts, were discovered by a customer with a specialized knowledge of plants in a Plus store in the northern city of Hanover.

“It’s hard for laymen to tell the difference from rocket,” said a Plus spokeswoman on Tuesday. “We immediately took all affected bags off the shelves.” Samples were sent to the University of Bonn for testing, which detected more than 2,500 micrograms of poison — 2,500 times more than the recommended daily allowance — in 150 grams of salad, German media reported.

Minister for consumer protectionism in the western state of Rhineland-Palatinate, Margit Conrad, warned shoppers to be vigilant. “Not everything that looks like fruit and vegetable is edible,” she said in a statement on Wednesday. “No one should eat plants or parts of plants that have an unusual taste.”

(Reporting by Caroline Copley, editing by Paul Casciato)

Documents from the Ministry of Defence (MoD) indicated there were 609 UFO sightings in 1996, compared with 117 in 1995. This coincided with the rise in popularity of the X Files and the release of the alien blockbuster film “Independence Day.”

The files, which span 15 years and contain more than 4,000 pages, show that for most cases the UFO sightings had ordinary explanations such as bright stars and planets, meteors, artificial satellites and balloons.

In one incident in 1995, two men in the midland county of Staffordshire told police they saw an alien with a lemon-shaped head emerge from a hovering UFO and tell them “We want you; come with us.”

Another case detailed dozens of sightings of a brightly illuminated oval object in London during 1993 and 1994 which was later explained as an airship advertising the launch of the Ford Mondeo car.

Despite most cases having a mundane reason behind them, some 10 percent were classed as “unexplained.”

For these, the MoD said there was “insufficient information” which is why it continued to collect reports.

The files also add a new detail on Britain’s best known UFO incident, the Rendlesham Forest sightings of December 1980 in which American airforce men saw a series of mysterious lights.

The then government of Margaret Thatcher summarily dismissed the affair but a letter from a former chief of defence staff in 1985 warned it not to be so cavalier.

“The case has puzzling and disquieting features which have never been satisfactorily explained … which continue to preoccupy informed sections of the public,” said the letter.

The files can be seen on www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/

(Reporting by Farah Master; Editing by Steve Addison)