Just keep swimming...

Cough, Cough, HACK.

That was me choking on the ploom of dust that bellowed upward as I cracked my beloved blog.

I have missed my baby, but mama is out making the money honey. One of my 2010 goals is to begin earning a livable income through writing. So that is where my “free time” has been spent. Working with clients that pay well for quality work.

Last year I made a grand total of…drum roll…$275. I know, I know. Baller. Since January I am happy to report that I have earned $615, not bad for 2 months (and on an extremly part time basis, as my real day job takes priority).

Just more arsenal in the hope bank. Hope for my future and hope for my dreams.  And hope for our financial security.

The affirmations keep coming that I am on the right path, that writing is my truth. And that I might actually have what it takes to “make it” doing something that I love.

©2010 Warm Hearts Happy Family. All Rights Reserved.

So imagine my surprise when I completely fell apart. 

As the cool air started blowing in it’s crisp promises of fall fun, so did it blow away the person I once knew.  No longer did I have things together, but instead I was wasting away in my anxiety.  Somehow my anxiety, always lurking and hiding in the shadows, had found the upper hand.  Had found a weakness in my armor, and had taken over my life.

My most important definition of success–creating a genuinely joyful life for my family–was being tested, strained, and beaten.  I pride myself on finding balance, being a working mom and an attached parent.  I had it figured out, joy and balance is my thing.  How did I lose control? 

Everyday tasks like taking my son to preschool, cleaning up spilled juice, or even getting out of bed became mountains to climb.  The second I woke up, the anxiety began churning–thoughts of what could possibly go wrong that day and how my life seemed so overwhelming.

I didn’t wait very long before seeking help–remember, I am a problem solver at heart.  And I had a big problem.  I took my husband with me to the doctors for support, but mostly so he could hear what was going on straight from the doctor.  Because just as much as I needed a light at the end of the tunnel, so did he.  I know my months of panic attacks that rendered me useless put a huge strain on him.

I also dove right into research to learn about anxiety, to try and put logic into a problem that is anything but logical.  That is when I stumbled upon a word that would connect so many pieces–that would make me feel less crazy–that would give me a feeling of power back into my life.

Emetophobia.

One word answered so many questions and quieted feelings of irrationality and craziness. 

I am on my way back to normal.  After some trial and error with medication, research, and support I am feeling like my old self.  I am feeling back in control, and I am the woman, wife, and mother my family deserves…almost.

©2010 Warm Hearts Happy Family. All Rights Reserved.

December marked the 5th annual Snowland at Great Wolf Lodge; a holiday celebration featuring indoor snow, caroling, and seemingly endless family fun.  Not only do you have the thrilling indoor water park but you get all of these activities as well:

·         Holiday Story Time with Mascot Rowdy the Reindeer

·         The Writing Depot, where children can write, decorate and mail letters directly to Santa

·         Polar Wolf Walk, a wintery nature hike for kids to site penguins, polar bears and more

·         North Pole University, complete with educational activities to earn a diploma and special gift

·         Toy Creation Station, where children can create toys to keep or give to a friend  

·         Wrapping Depot for guests to have presents wrapped on-the-spot

·         Special musical guest performances

·         Holiday caroling

·         Santa appearances

·         Animated Great Clock Tower holiday performances

As soon as my family entered the lodge we were embraced in a winter wonderland with sparkling lights, snow, a roaring fireplace, topped off with holiday music and decorated trees. There is holiday joy everywhere you look, and you can’t help but instantly get that warm and fuzzy feeling only happiness can bring. 

After checking in we started our day in the indoor waterpark.  The kids had a blast and so did mom and dad!  After that we headed to the lobby to enjoy cookie decorating and hot chocolate;  followed by a stroll down candy cane lane where the kids got to vote for their favorite decorated tree.

We ate dinner right in the lodge restaurant and let me tell you–the food was delicious.  And to my surprise, extremely reasonably priced!  We followed dinner with a visit with Santa Claus; and of course my son proceeded to ask for a gift way outside of our holiday budget–don’t know how we are going to get out of that!

We then changed into our pajamas and went back into the lobby for caroling and the thrill of real snow falling from the ceiling.  The night ended in our room with a special room service order of cookies and chocolate shakers.

The weekend was filled with great memories and fun and my family is now making Great Wolf Lodge a part of our family traditions.

Snowland runs December 5 through December 25th. 

I would like to thank Great Wolf Lodge for providing my family a complimentary stay to discover and share the wonder that is their annual Snowland adventure.

©2010 Warm Hearts Happy Family. All Rights Reserved.

He doesn’t look good in pictures–ever. Not because he isn’t totally studly in every way, but because he looks like he belongs in a prison cell and not in our living room.  In almost every picture.

He can not seem to figure out how to smile like a normal person for the camera.  But I am not complaining about that–it is a small miracle if he even attempts a smile.  Most of the time I get this:

Do you see where my frustration comes in? We all look so happy, and my husband looks like he is dead inside–living a life of dull boredom that is killing him slowly from the inside out.

The opposite is true however. He is the LIFE of the party, a giant kid really–trapped in an adult body. He is full of energy and happiness in general.

Except when I say lets take a family picture. In true bratty 7 year old form he pouts and refuses to smile.

So dear husband of mine, if I were you I would start smiling or else our children’s children are going to look back and think you were one grumpy ass old man.

The End.

©2010 Warm Hearts Happy Family. All Rights Reserved.

Skinny people may take this for granted.  I am talking about being able to wear a belt without it looking like the knot between two fat sausage links.

Kinks separating your chubby goodness is never a good thing, never. Ever. And isn’t the main purpose of a belt to keep your pants in place?  Well, thank you very much, but I didn’t need any help in that department.  My badonkadonk held my pants up just fine.

I am happy to report that I now am in desperate need of a belt because my pants are falling off my waist at an alarming rate.  While it feels go to be constantly pulling them up (a beautiful reminder that my ass isn’t the continent that it used to be), I am sure it isn’t exactly screaming that is one classy lady.

Next order of business:  buy a sweet looking belt to accentuate my new waist and to invest in some smaller pants. 

Needless to say, I am very thankful this Thanksgiving.  And so is my healthier heart.  Oh, and my feet!  I am sure my feet are also very thankful to have the ease of 30 pounds lifted off of their hard working day.  And hopefully my hubby is thankful too.

You see, I have learned a lot about myself this past year, the biggest thing being that I hate being fat.  I am in control of that now–so goodbye fat pants, its been real but I am off to a more quality life.

©2010 Warm Hearts Happy Family. All Rights Reserved.