Tales from the road, by The Fenian Godfather

11/10/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 04:59:00 +0000

Some of this blog's more astute readers may have concluded that the only alcoholic to earn any mention here on a regular basis is my Swedish buddy Sjoe. Those readers are dead wrong. I have had a few pops myself tonight and I don't mind telling you - the world can be a pretty good place when you're a drunk. Once the beers flow freely for a few hours, one can almost forget about the ongoing debate concerning Charlie Weis' job status. Beauty. At this point, I'll gladly fight any Pitt fan who wants to step up to the plate.

To fulfill our blog's trucking-related quota - I did scrub down the floors in my truck this afternoon. I'll take the beast over to the Kenworth dealer in Dearborn tomorrow. Hopefully those degenerates can have the clutch brake, air conditioning, and fuel tanks fixed by the time I check back with them next week. Hopefully.

Gotta go now. Rumor has it that my ideal woman has been spotted outside Ann Arbor...

11/9/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:37:00 +0000

I think that we'll go ahead and get tonight's post done early for a couple of reasons.

First is that I need to create a new backup image of my hard drive and this will likely take until tomorrow morning. My computer will be out of commission during the interim.

Second is that I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll be at a local pub before too much longer this evening. I got most of the crap out of my truck this afternoon, scrubbed my car down after that, and did some laundry after that. I've most certainly earned my leisure time.

11/8/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:59:00 +0000

Lying on the couch all day can make you tired, it would seem. One minute, I was reading a book. The next minute, I woke to find that the day was over. Bummer.

11/7/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 04:59:00 +0000

If you enjoyed the warm and sunny weather in Michigan today, you're welcome. I found it in Wisconsin yesterday and decided to bring it with me. The folks at the Fenian Godfather Weather Service were kind enough to pull a few strings, so here we are.

It turned out that the drive down to this afternoon's shipper took only five hours, so I had another six hours available to me under the 70 hour rule once I was loaded. My dispatched miles from Remington to Taylor were 297 so the usual 47mph dispatch would have had to factor in a ten hour break. Once I sent in my loaded call though, the powers that be decided to play hardball and dispatched me to be in Taylor tonight. Okay then. Guess we're heading home. No stopping to watch football this time around.

The next hour was spent looking forward to a certain radio broadcast. The following four hours were spent resisting the urge to drive my truck into a bridge abutment every time I heard the words from my XM radio. Then the last hour was spent looking forward to some cold refreshment once I got home. Highs and lows, I suppose.

For various reasons it's about time for bed now, so we'll have to leave it there. But for what it's worth, I'm more fired up about next weekend than I ever was before. I've always loved a good fight and plenty of people around here will be talking shit for the next several days. Hopefully Our Lady's lads will come through for me this time around. I'm behind them 100%.

11/6/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 02:41:00 +0000

There's just something about Wisconsin, it seems. As I sat last night reading the news of the day, I received a pre-planned assignment to pick up after this morning's drop. As usual, my delivery was scheduled for 9am (can't deliver early) and the next pickup time said 9:30am, 80 miles away in Bloomington, Minnesota. As always, I confirmed it. The run itself was going to require absolute efficiency on my part and some cooperation from the traffic gods, as it would use every single hour available to me under the 70 hour rule. It was set to deliver this evening in some town in Wisconsin that I can't spell. All good though. We can get 'er done.

On my way to the consignee this morning, I got a message from my fleet manager asking me to let him know what time I could reach the next shipper. I took a peek at the nearest mile marker and did some quick calculation, then replied that I should be there around 10am. Nothing further followed so I took this as a sign that everything was good. Then I got to the consignee. Check in, get the bills signed, drop my trailer, grab an emp... umm...

That ain't funny, dude. No freaking empties. How in the hell am I supposed to pick up my next load without an empty trailer? So I had to check back with the traffic people at the consignee. They told me to get lost for three hours, then come back and try again. Fantastic. I called my fleet manager to fill him in on the situation and then scooted over to the local truck stop to wait it out.

Since I apparently was the only one in the area able to pick up the next load, there was some uncertainty as to what would follow. My 14 hour clock would allow me to work until 7:30pm Central, so an hour and a half of driving to the shipper and five more hours to the consignee would back us up to 1pm. My three hour 'check back' time at this morning's consignee was 11:45am. Assuming that the shipper could wait for me and that it wouldn't take too long to get loaded, there was a chance that we could pull it off.

I sat at the truck stop and caught up on some e-mails. There was one from my mother, hidden among the usual barrage of dumb anti-Obama chain letters. Looks like Dad bagged a nice one this season. A darling of PETA, he is not.

I headed back over to the distribution center in Menomonie after a couple more hours, circled the drop lot a few times, and found nada. Instead of going back to the truck stop I decided to park at the edge of the lot and wait it out. Given the scheduling situation, I wanted to be ready to grab the first empty trailer that showed up as soon as it became available. I wouldn't want to be sitting at the truck stop when the spotter brought out a trailer, only to have one of my coworkers make a drop/hook and snag it while I wasn't around. So I sat... and waited. Lots of empty trailers cruising by. Knight, Schneider, Swift, Dart, you name it. No Con-way Truckload or CFI trailers though.

Once I sat for another hour without any luck, I sent a message letting my fleet manager know that there still were no empties. A short time later, the load out of Minnesota was unassigned. Bummer. Could have been a nice 400 miles tacked onto my week. With me sitting there and watching my Friday afternoon tick away, there could be no certainty that anything good would take its place. I did get a message from the detention people though, asking for my arrival and departure times. Maybe I'll get my $12 an hour or whatever it is.

At some point in the afternoon I went for a walk and saw that the only CFI trailer in a dock was the one that I dropped this morning. That can't be good. Usually those distribution centers have a bunch of our trailers floating around. I checked with the traffic control lady and she said that it was being unloaded and then it would be in the queue for the yard dog to pull. Okay then. Back to our regularly scheduled sitting.

Around 2:20pm a security lady in a pickup truck told me that I can't "camp out in the yard" and that I would have to leave. Yeah, clearly my pup tent and s'mores were a dead giveaway. Moron. I explained the situation to her and she said that I could park over by the traffic control office and check with the lady in there again. The gal in the office checked her computer and, this time, came up with the number of an empty. Yep, the one that I dropped this morning. Since it was finally empty and I had been there all day, she called the yard dog and asked him to put my trailer ahead of the others on his list so that I could leave. He did so very quickly and even dropped it right behind where I was parked. I just had to back under it and we were good to go.

Back over at the truck stop, I found myself on the board at #1. Could have been worse then, I suppose. Sometimes, on a Friday afternoon, the ready board can get a little crowded if there isn't enough freight to get everyone planned for the weekend. With my 14 hour clock having been reduced to a 5 hour clock, I sent in my detention times and then kicked back to see what was next.

Despite whatever you Drudge-reading neanderthals out there may think, global warming landed squarely in Wisconsin today. The temperature got into the 60's and the sun was shining brightly. Seasonal weather fluctuation? Phooey. I sprayed a can of Right Gard in the air last week. My dividend was paid today. Plus the truck stop next to the distribution center has a SubWay. All in all, if I was destined to get jerked around, this wasn't the worst time and place for it to happen.

After about an hour and a half on the board I received a new assignment. Those 400 miles that I lost this afternoon were replaced by a 437 mile deadhead to Remington, Indiana. From there I'll be heading to Taylor, Michigan. Since the load is bound for Canada and I'm a no-border-crossing kinda dude, we can assume that my home time will begin once I make it to the terminal. I hit the road right away and made it back to the Petro in Portage (where I spent last night) before my 14 hour clock ran out. Good enough.

The load in Remington is scheduled to pick up at 2pm. For obvious reasons (2:30pm kickoff), I'm going to show up early and see what happens. I know that these chuckleheads are going to dispatch me to arrive in Taylor at some goofy hour on Sunday morning, since I won't have the hours to get there tomorrow. They'll factor in a ten hour break and the computer will say 4:13am sounds good or something. So, that being the case, I would prefer to get some driving done early in the afternoon and then catch the football game during my ten hour break. If I can't get rolling until after 2pm, I'll probably just drive and listen on the radio again. Some of you may think that nothing is on the line against the middies since they broke the streak. If you try really hard though, you can believe that 2007 never happened.

11/5/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:08:00 +0000

How badly does the city of Chicago suck? I think this is one of the great questions of the modern age. In case you haven't guessed yet, my plan to sneak through in the early afternoon didn't quite work as planned. The place was a freaking parking lot. Ah well, what can you do? Just a day in the life.

The rest of the trip, before and after Chicago, was pretty nice. Foot to the floor, light traffic, good weather. My seven and a half available hours allowed me to cover 400 miles, reaching the Petro in Portage, Wisconsin, along with a fuel stop and a post-trip inspection. Not a bad day's work.

I'll have around 170 miles to cover in the morning before 9am Central in order to keep my delivery appointment, assuming that tomorrow is in fact the correct day. I already mentioned to you that the paperwork says Monday, but I do have a drop number and my company is usually pretty good about getting the appointments right with this particular customer. There have been a couple of exceptions over the last few years though, so we'll see.

After my drop/hook in the morning, I'll have somewhere around six hours available to use tomorrow. Then I pick up a steady stream of days in the 7-10 hour range. This should be plenty to allow me to handle whatever kind of schedule comes my way for the weekend. A delivery in Michigan a few days from now would obviously be quite welcome if it's in the cards. This last month or so on the road has been a pretty productive one, but once I know that I'll be heading home soon I tend to get a case of short-timers disease. The frosty cold goodness at Kelly's pub is calling my name, you know.

11/4/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:32:00 +0000

If your party ran a Notre Dame graduate for governor in 2009, you won 100% of the time. I'm still on a general strike against political talk, but I'll bet ole Dick Morris didn't spot that trend.

I tend to view 4:15am as the appropriate time to fall asleep, so you can probably guess how I felt about getting rolling at that time today. It was definitely a good idea to get out of Jersey City ahead of all of the traffic though. After a few hours I ducked off at a rest area in Pennsylvania and took a nice nap to get myself back on track. When I awoke I found that the cops had turned the rest area into a weigh station. Peckerheads. It took almost ten minutes to get out of there and back on the road.

The rest of the trip was pretty ho-hum. My 17,000 pound payload didn't drag me too badly in the hills, the weather was decent, and the traffic was reasonably light all the way across I-80. The hours that I had available were enough to get me to the last service plaza on the Ohio turnpike, so overall a pretty productive day.

The hours that I pick up tomorrow should get me within a couple hundred miles of my destination. Then I'll have to try to get some rest ahead of one more pre-dawn road trip on Friday. Tomorrow morning though, I think I'm sleeping in. There's not much sense in trying to get past Chicago during the morning rush so I'll just leave here a little later. Maybe I can cruise through in the late morning or early afternoon a little more easily than I have the last few times around. Maybe.

Guess it's time to go and watch the Matsui show now. Since I have no rooting interest, I was kinda hoping for a Game 7.

11/3/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 01:22:00 +0000

It's time for another of my hypotheses that sounds really brilliant to me but probably doesn't make any sense in reality. ---> The next time I find my miles slacking off, I'm going to tell myself that I need to request home time. Then I'll be raking in the bucks.

It would seem that the only requirements of this hypothesis are for me to think about going home and, perhaps, to tell you folks in blogland about my intentions. The actual requesting of the home time doesn't appear to be a required element, since the pre-plans start popping up before the request has been sent. Yeah, I got another one today. Go figure.

The trip through Ithaca this morning wasn't nearly as slow and tedious as I expected it to be. Certainly the super light payload helped the cause, but even the folks on their way to work were driving like reasonable individuals today. I wound my way out of Dryden on NY-392 until I saw the construction site for the new Greek Peak mountain lodge on my left. Oy. I could already see that I was gonna have some fun delivering to that place. Constructions sites, you see, aren't actually designed with the occasional truck driver in mind. So disrespectful.

Rather than plunge myself into a spot from which I couldn't escape, I parked in a gravel lot across the street from the construction site and went for a walk up the steep driveway. After talking to a few people who had no idea what I should do, I caught up with the general contractor for the lodge project. He told me to drive down to the next street and hang a left. At the top of the hill I would see a sign for Construction Entrance #3. I should enter there and follow the driveway until I got to the water slides. Okay then.

About halfway down the winding driveway inside Entrance #3, that sinking feeling really began to set in - the feeling that I was irreversibly screwed. There was a small gravel parking area full of parked cars and a narrow path winding down around the edge of the construction site. Even if I could manage to get down to the water slides, which was far from a given, there was no possible way that I would be able to get turned around to leave. Without turning around, the only option would be to back out. I've backed out of plenty of jams in my time on the road. There was no way on God's green earth that I would be able to back my way out of there today though. My trailer tires had been hanging off the edge of the gravel as I drove into the place. Backing up that little skinny driveway with its hairpin turns was completely out of the question.

Rather than sit and dwell on my apparent misfortune, I decided to try to find someone who could unload my trailer. Then I would confront the navigational issue once I was forced to do so. I found, as I wandered from one hard-hatted dude to the next, that those people say "fuck" at least twenty times as often as I do. I'm no choir boy by any stretch of the imagination, but damn. I was reminded of the Lewis Black routine where he says that, in New York, "fuck" is nothing more than a comma. Indeed, Lewis. Indeed.

I found a guy who worked for the contractor installing the water slides, so the first step was complete. Second was to get rid of the freight. He and a buddy pulled the four pieces of plastic to the end of the trailer and piled them onto some kind of power equipment dohickey. And that was that. They also showed me another way to exit the construction site, taking away the prospect of my having to back out of there. It was pretty insane to navigate some of the turns, but I inched along in low gear and made my way back toward the lower part of the hillside. There was a spot where I was able to swing across an area of beaten-down grass and get myself onto the main driveway (that I had walked earlier in the morning). From there I wound my way back down to the main road and escaped with no damage.

The best representation that I can find is a scale model, but it looks fairly accurate. None of the paving or landscaping are done yet, but here's a peek at the peak. (Yeah, I'm a regular punster.)

On the right edge of the picture, halfway up from the bottom, you can see the serpentine main driveway where the adventure began and ended. Snaking in (behind the lodge from this perspective), you can see the street that led me from NY-392 to Construction Entrance #3. The entrance itself, with its insane driveway and overloaded parking area, would be off-camera to the left from this perspective. The water slides are right there for you to see. The ones that I delivered were some kind of little kiddie pool things, but that's still the area where they were unloaded. And that pretty white ribbon of concrete in the foreground is the path that I had to follow as I left. Of course it's presently not concrete though. It's mud and gravel and uneven terrain, lined with parked cars and discarded scraps and such. If you connect that path with the original driveway (across the strip of grass between them), the whole voyage comes full circle.

The delivery at the construction site was, for bookkeeping purposes, in Cortland. Interestingly enough, it's listed as a point of interest (a little red square near Virgil, not Cortland) on the Rand McNally motor carrier's atlas. My next pickup was actually in Cortland, so the unpaid "local" deadhead to the shipper was twenty miles long and took a half hour. I made a quick drop/hook there and got back on the road. I had made the same run about a month ago, but I don't think I took the same route from Cortland to Monroe Township this time. I have no idea what route I took that last time around, but I seem to remember a bunch of red lights and traffic along the way. Today I took I-81 to I-380 to I-80 to PA-33 to I-78 to I-287 to River Road to NJ-18 to the turnpike, and it was good. Some of the route did seem familiar though. I distinctly remember going past Rutgers both times. I don't know. I'm rambling here. The point is that it was a nice and easy drive today.

As I rolled southward through Pennsylvania, I got my other pre-plan. As was the case the last time that I intended to go home, I have no idea what is the appropriate protocol to follow. The employee handbook says that we can't request home time until we're within 25 miles of our delivery and we're not planned on another load. That's a Catch-22 if there ever was one. I have no control over the pre-plans, so if they keep coming before I get within 25 miles of my delivery point, I could theoretically never request home time. Obviously that won't do, so I went ahead and sent in my request when I got to this afternoon's consignee, pre-planned or not. Everything has worked out in the past when this scenario has played out. I have no reason to expect any issues this time.

After another quick drop/hook on the delivery end, my next deadhead was a 40-mile job up to Jersey City. In true 'man bites dog' fashion, there was absolutely no traffic on the Jersey Turnpike at 4:30pm today. Bizarre. Then my drop/hook at this evening's shipper was yet another test of my driving skill. The security guard showed me where to drop my empty trailer and then where to get my loaded trailer. Holy jeez, man. It took around forty minutes or so for the whole process. The tight quarters of the drop yard were enhanced nicely by massive potholes full of water and complete darkness. Slowly and carefully though - that's how we do it.

Okay then, all loaded up and ready to roll for Wisconsin. Or not. I had 15 minutes left under the 70 hour rule by the time I was ready to depart. Any guesses as to where you can get within 15 minutes of leaving a shipper on some dilapidated dead-end street in Jersey City? Nowhere. From a dilapidated dead-end street in Jersey City, you can get exactly nowhere within 15 minutes. So I was forced to pull off to the side and park for the night. I didn't realize until I was done and my stomach started rumbling, but it turns out that I had been so busy all day that I forgot to eat. Domino's delivery took care of that part though, so all is now well.

My dispatch has me delivering in Menomonie, Wisconsin on Friday morning. The paperwork says Monday morning but, after exchanging a few messages with the dispatcher tonight, I've been told that Friday it is. Fair enough. Since I can drive around nine and a half hours tomorrow and then seven hours on Thursday, I'll end up having to make a pre-dawn excursion to finish the trip on Friday. C'est la vie. Hell, I may be on some goofy kind of schedule even before Friday. Given the pain in the ass that it was to get into this neighborhood, it would probably behoove me to get the hell out of Jersey City as soon as my ten hour break is up (at 4:15am). There shouldn't be many cars driving around at that hour. If there is any traffic around, I have no idea how I'll get back on the road headed to the turnpike. After starting so early, I'll probably be in the mood for a late morning nap. Then I'll be up all night tossing and turning, since that's the standard routine for me. You see where this is going. It's entirely possible that the early Friday part of the trip will seem perfectly natural by the time we get to it.

The week's paycheck is off to a solid start. After using Sunday and Monday to finish off last week's work, Tuesday brought dispatches of 251 miles, 45 miles, and 1,138 miles, in addition to over $30 in northeast pay. Whatever miles I can get on the way back home should make the week just fine with me.

I guess that's all for tonight. 4:15 am, eh? Oy.

11/2/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:20:00 +0000

I haven't decided yet, but there may be a problem here. I just made a purchase at the little truck stop where I'll be spending the night. In conducting that purchase, I used my debit card. So the flirtatious little lass behind the counter checked my identification. And here's where the problem (if there is one) arose. After a bit of back-and-forth banter she remarked, "I'm still older than you." I replied that I would surely catch up to her before long. She then pointed out that her birthday is in February and mine is in September, both of '76, so she's only a few months older. Dammit, dude. She's not a bad looking gal and all, but I would have sworn she was over 40. If I'm getting that old, we may have a problem. I don't intend to get too detailed here, but my last few encounters with the fairer sex did not involve anyone remotely close to this chick's age. If this means that I'm some kind of pervert, there may be a problem here.

Anyhow... that I-86 is a real doozy, eh? Holy smokes. For the first hundred miles or so, I could have sworn that I was on I-75 back home. I think a few of my teeth are still rattling. Further into New York the road smoothed out and I was able to notice that it was a pretty scenic drive. Of course all scenic drives are made better when you have an 800 pound payload in the wagon. Good old cruise control and good times.

I stopped in Kanona, New York to top off the fuel tanks around 3pm today. A quick review of my directory showed that the two truck stops there would be the last along the interstate on my route to Cortland. I wasn't satisfied with having driven 300 of the 400 miles though, so I continued onward. I decided to try the Citgo in Cayuta and then, if I didn't find any parking, continue on to Cortland and take my chances there. The place in Cayuta turned out to be A-OK. Despite the fact that it's out here in the sticks, I have broadband internet speed on my Sprint card and... wait for it... there's a SubWay. Yeah, things are going pretty swell at this point. I failed to mention it earlier but you probably could have guessed that I started after 10am today.

Tomorrow morning's drive will only be around 45 miles or so. I'll have to go through Ithaca on NY-13 though. I seem to recall having made that drive in the other direction once and having found it to be rather tedious. Then the rest of the drive to Cortland should be pretty basic. My consignee is a mountain resort that is building a new water park. I happen to have a few plastic water slides to contribute to the construction - hence the 800 pound payload. Hopefully there will be some kind of signage to direct me to the proper location, since my company-provided directions appear to have been pulled directly from Streets & Trips.

After I deliver tomorrow I'll be picking up another load in Cortland and taking it to Monroe Township, New Jersey. I received a pre-plan as I entered New York this afternoon. If that route sounds familiar to you, then I'm impressed. Seriously. It did ring a bell for me, but I still had to look it up. This here web log is useful for something every now and then, it turns out. Been there, done that, less than a month ago. Seems like a lot longer.

I'll be down to only a couple of available hours, at best, once I make my second delivery tomorrow. I'm going to get down there and then send in my hometime request, so everything should fall into place from that point. It looks like I'll be lucky enough to help my brother move into his new house since his closing paperwork has been delayed by a week or so. Timing is everything, as they say.

11/1/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 01:05:00 +0000

Sometimes the stars just align. We've covered my disdain for waking before 10am in recent blog postings. Sometimes it's a fact of life, but when it's day after day after day, it annoys me. I wanted to get in a full day of driving though and I wasn't really sure where I would end up. Since this meant that I wasn't sure how the nighttime parking situation would play out, I reluctantly set my alarm for 8:30am and planned to get rolling at 9am today. Ahh, but 9am today turned out to be 10am in a sense, didn't it? I forgot about that.

The whole 'fall back' thing turned out to be a harbinger of a good day on the road. Armed with what is essentially an empty trailer, I was able to set the cruise control and enjoy a nice easy ride through the hills. My Swedish buddy Sjoe even remembered to grab a few boxes of Kentucky contraband for the black lung crowd back home after I topped off the tanks in Glendale. Getting Nashville, Louisville, Cincinnati, and Columbus out of the way on a weekend was pretty groovy as well. My available hours got me all the way up to Lodi, Ohio tonight and there was plenty of parking at the Pilot when I pulled in. Sometimes the stars just align.

According to truckmiles.com, I only have around 400 miles left to go from here. I have eight hours available for tomorrow so I guess that means I'm in pretty good shape. I'm not sure if I should drive all the way to Cortland and hope for a spot at one of the small truck stops there or if I should stop off further back along the interstate. Guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

My road trip to Pittsburgh is set to commence on the 13th so I need to be home by the 11th or 12th. If we back out the seven day window, I would need to request home time by the 4th or 5th. I deliver on the morning of the 3rd. Probably best to put in my request for home time once I get to the consignee then, it would seem. And down the stretch they come...

10/31/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 03:57:00 +0000

Self-discipline and productivity are not generally in ample supply here at Fenian Godfather, Inc. Occasionally though, such discipline can come from an unlikely source - for instance, the T/A in Prescott, Arkansas. Since I had some serious miles to cover between this morning and Tuesday morning, prudence would dictate that I drive an absolute minimum of 500 miles today. Furthermore, since I am heading toward some time at home (with plenty of money going out and no money coming in), prudence would dictate that I not blow any cash on a hotel room for what would amount to little more than a ten-hour break tonight.

So... by the time this afternoon rolled around, I was leaning toward stopping short and getting a room for the night. Hell, I could always knock out a couple of eleven hour days to catch up my schedule, right? I had received a message from the shop this morning indicating that my truck was due for preventive maintenance. After making pretty good time getting out of Texas, I decided to stop off at the aforementioned T/A in Prescott and get the work done. It was getting to be time for a lunch break anyway. Might as well kill two birds with one stone. Then I could get back on the road and knock out another few hours before settling in for the night.

Three and a half hours later... yeah, so much for that idea. The shop wasn't even that busy. Just a whole bunch of nonsense, it would seem. I got rolling again at 6pm Eastern, only an hour and a half before the football game was scheduled to start. So I was only on the eastern edge of Little Rock by the time it kicked off. This wasn't quite far enough. I needed to get most of the way across Arkansas today in order to feel comfortable with my chances of finishing the trip to New York in two more shifts. You never know when a major traffic jam or bad weather might pop up and so forth. Most people expected the game to be a blowout and before long it was obvious that this was going to be the case, so I just kept driving and listening on the magical XM radio.

Both the traffic and the weather were perfectly cooperative for the whole drive. The roads were clean and dry and it never got hot enough for me to notice that I had no air conditioning. So onward and eastward I drove... and drove. By the time the football game was over, I had covered 600 miles and decided that it was time to call it a night. Quite a productive day in the end, largely thanks to those peckerheads at the T/A in Prescott, Arkansas.

A quick review of the particulars will show that the week wraps up with 3,508 miles, $35 in stop pay, and a little over $30 in northeast pay. Right around $1,400 for the week - better than a kick in the balls. No, seriously. It's better than a kick in the balls. Glad I don't have a passport.

10/30/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:56:00 +0000

Another day with an early wakeup call would certainly be another day destined for frustration, right? Eh, not really. Maybe my hypothesis needs a little tweaking. I got up at 7:30am and headed over to make my delivery. After sitting in the consignee's waiting room for a half hour after I was empty, waiting for my paperwork, I walked back out to my truck and found a few messages waiting. The first was the 'report to dispatch' note that they send whenever my turn comes around. The other two were a plan summary and a request for me to update my available hours. Apparently, when I didn't report to dispatch as requested, the fella took the liberty of choosing a load on my behalf.

As I noted earlier, sometimes I guess it ain't so bad to be awake in the morning. The load that I was given was a nice 2,033 mile job to New York. Technically speaking, I was already on the board last night and the New York load didn't have to leave immediately, so my hypothesis may still have some merit. I could have been sleeping when the satellite messages came through. Given the lengthy time spent at the consignee though, it was helpful to have put that delivery behind me before getting started on the next one.

I was on my way back to the terminal when the dispatcher called to make sure that my available hours would be enough to reach the consignee by Tuesday morning. He said that it looked like I should be fine. I concurred. I stopped by the dispatch window to grab my paperwork as I returned to the terminal. The dispatcher pulled out the envelope and did his obligatory review to make sure everything was right. As he handed me the bills, he sighed and told me to take a look at the weight. Great, I thought. Another freaking heavy one to drag through the hills into New York. My last several loads, with the exception of that 70 miler in Texas, have been wicked heavy. I rolled my eyes and took a look, then had to chuckle. Okay, ya got me dude. 837 pounds. The archivist at the Fenian Godfather Institute is a lazy SOB so we can't provide independent confirmation, but this is most likely the longest distance that I've ever pulled a load of less than 1,000 pounds. That'll certainly help ease the workload on my tired old truck.

In order to reach my destination by Tuesday morning, I'm going to use just about all of my available hours under the 70 hour rule between now and Monday. It remains to be seen whether or not I stop at one of the Corleone family's estates tomorrow. With my Irish playing a 7:30pm home game in San Antonio, I could certainly knock out a full day of driving and still have time to settle in before the game. I'm just not sure if I'll feel like dropping the cash to spend a few hours and then hit the road again in the morning. I don't know. We'll play it by ear. Der Führer doesn't seem to be too excited about the game in either case.

Today's portion of the drive brought me back out of Laredo on US-59 and up toward Houston. Seeing that I would be hitting the big city right around 5pm, I decided to stop in George West for some dinner and a long break to let the traffic chill out a little. I like stopping in George West for two reasons. First is that they have a SubWay at one of the little truck stops on the east side of town. I may not have mentioned it before, but I'm quite fond of a sandwich called the Italian BMT with double meat. The second reason is that I can't help but appreciate a town that decided to name itself after a backup wide receiver for Notre Dame.

After my break there, I got back on the road and cruised on through Houston. It was US-59 as opposed to I-35, Friday as opposed to Tuesday, and evening as opposed to afternoon, but... I win again suckers!

This backup on the south edge of town was only a couple of miles long but I was still glad to be on the other side of the road. My side got a little congested once I got downtown but overall the timing of the break in George West seemed to pay off. I stopped off at the big truck stop in Shepherd and found plenty of open parking spaces, so that was that for today. Tomorrow... probably waking before 10am again. Damn.

10/29/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:35:00 +0000

One more reason that I should never be forced to wake before 10am - I may get cracking as soon as legally possible, drive my ass off all day, arrive two hours ahead of my dispatched ETA, and then have my consignee tell me that they stop receiving trucks at 3pm. I've been wrestling with when exactly to put in my next request for home time. The football game in Pittsburgh is on November 14th, so I'll either take a week or so before then or a week or so after then. I've been leaning toward the 'after' approach, but my frustration level has been running pretty high lately. If it keeps up I may just have to head home a little sooner than anticipated.

The drive itself wasn't too terrible today. It wasn't good (think rain and Texans) but it wasn't terrible. The only major accident on US-59 in Houston was on the northbound side, so my side should have been cruising right on through. Gawkers had us backed up for five miles. One of these days, man... One of these days.

In late October there don't tend to be a whole lot of places in America with hot weather. There are a few though. Angling down from Houston to Laredo today, the temperature reached 92 degrees and the rainy weather made the humidity pretty obnoxious. Hey, anyone wanna guess whose air conditioning quit working this afternoon? Yeah, seriously. It was a windy mofo out there today, so rolling down the windows helped to mitigate the temperature for the most part. That humidity was disgusting though. It felt like I was sweating even though I wasn't sweating. I have been planning to get a couple of things fixed on my truck once I get back home. Better to put the truck in the shop when I'm already off work, the theory goes, than to sit in a hotel and waste my time on the road. Now I guess there's one more item on the list. Hopefully I won't get stuck in too many hot places between now and then.

I wasn't sure about the proper CTL protocol for making a live delivery in Laredo. Usually on Laredo loads we have to report to the terminal and get the trailer inspected, then head to our broker. My stop location information that came with this assignment gave me directions to the broker though. This has never been the case before, at least in my experience. Since the trailer wasn't being dropped, the inspection process didn't have to be done before the delivery. (I would have to bring the empty back through the inspection bay anyway.) So, in an effort to waste as little time as possible, I went straight to the broker. The little dude at the gate took my paperwork and we were looking good... for a minute. Then he gave back the paperwork and told me to come back tomorrow at 8am. Bummer. So, the question must be asked - from where did my 6:45pm dispatch come? Pulled directly from someone's ass, I suspect, but there's no way of knowing for sure. Had I known that I couldn't deliver until 8am tomorrow... well, something about waking before 10am today comes to mind.

I headed over to the terminal and got on the board at #35. I'm already up to #28 so I'll most likely be rolling shortly after making my delivery in the morning. This place does look like a ghost town though. Somewhere around half the trailer parking spaces are unoccupied. Just enough freight to move 28 more trucks - that's all I ask. My week hasn't been too stellar so far but one decent run for the weekend can make it all better. A shitty weekend will probably be enough to convince me that it's time to go home for a while.

The temperature is dropping rapidly as the sun goes down. That's always a plus when you have no air conditioning.

10/28/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

One more reason that I should never be forced to wake before 10am - If I happen to go for a walk in search of something to eat, my options may very well consist of a candy bar or a jar of peanuts from Home Depot. Later in the day my choices would have been numerous. One more data point in a well-developed hypothesis, I'm afraid.

The unloading in Hot Springs went fairly quickly, after which I was dispatched to deliver in Benton. In a pleasant surprise, the segment of US-270 looping past the south side of Hot Springs was a freeway and, while it was a little curvy compared to the interstates, it was nothing like last night's approach on AR-7. My appointment in Benton was for noon but I headed straight there. Since my day had already begun and the 14 hour clock was ticking, there was no reason to sit around. And more importantly, those retail deliveries can be a bit of an adventure when one has to navigate around parked cars. I was hoping to find an empty lot by arriving before the store had opened. The lot did turn out to be empty and I lucked out by guessing correctly as to the orientation of the loading dock. It was still a tight environment but approaching from the right direction made a huge difference.

The forklift guy said that he was busy when I arrived and that I should check back with him around noon. So we arrive at my ill-fated search for sustenance. I took a walk across the shopping area and saw a few restaurants, so I doubled back and started checking the hours of operation. 11am-..., 11am-..., 11am-... and so on. Okay then, one more trip across the complex brought me back to the Home Depot. Open at 6am, of course. Peanuts for breakfast. They were pretty tasty peanuts though, so that's good.

As I sat reading the news of the day and waiting for noon to come around, I received a pre-planned assignment. Apparently I was supposed to go back in time to pickup in Pine Bluff today at 8am and then drive 763 miles to Laredo by tomorrow at 8am. Can't confirm that schedule, right? No way I could keep those appointments, after all. Of course I confirmed the schedule. We all know how the game is played. 8am is almost always a generic placeholder, even if a few individuals are not aware of this.

Around 11:30am, the same forklift guy from earlier came out and told me that he was ready. We opened up the doors and he got to work. My trailer was empty around an hour or so later. When I hopped in the back to sweep it out, I found some sort of yellow goo that had been spilled on the floor. I grabbed a couple of shop towels and some degreaser and did what I could in terms of cleaning it out. The yellow stuff was all gone but a pretty large greasy spot remained in its place. Shouldn't be a problem, I thought, as long as I didn't have to pick up any rolls of paper. Those paper people are some picky SOB's.

My dispatch to Pine Bluff gave me an hour and a half to cover the 46 miles from Benton. The trip turned out to be more like 65 miles (to the port on the far side of Pine Bluff) and it took the full hour and a half. Good enough. I went into the shipping office to check in and found one of my CTL colleagues at the window ahead of me. His pickup number was no good, so he had to go back out to his truck and get a different one. In related news, my pickup number was no good so I had to go back out to my truck and get a new one. Armed with our correct pickup numbers, we got checked in and then proceeded to the end of the lot to await our door assignments. The loads were brokered by another trucking company and we had no appointments, so we were in the "work in" pool - first come, first served.

Sitting down at the end of the lot, I caught a glimpse of the freight that was being loaded on the trucks at the docks. Rolls of paper. Oh boy. After a while, my colleague was sent to the dock. He backed in. The forklift guy engaged the dock plate and stepped into the trailer. The forklift guy disengaged the dock plate and said something to my colleague. My colleague closed his empty trailer and drove away. Flashbacks ensued. Freaking paper mills. My turn was next, so I backed my trailer (with its greasy spot on the floor) into the loading dock. They loaded me without incident and then I got to sit in the shipping office for another half hour as I waited for my paperwork.

Keeping in mind the original goofy schedule, we arrive at the loaded portion of this trip. I sent in my information and took off for the nearest CAT scale. I hadn't received a dispatch right away so I was getting suspicious. Just before I reached the truck stop with the scale, I got a message saying that the load was scheduled to deliver in Laredo by 3pm tomorrow and asking if I could "legally" make it. Good to see that they're including legality in the communications these days. The answer was 'no,' but I couldn't type while I was driving. I just figured that I would take a minute and come up with an ETA and respond once I got to the truck stop. By the time I got onto the scale (and before I responded) I had received a dispatch. 6:45pm tomorrow. Given that the thing was supposed to deliver by 3pm, I'm not sure what I should expect when I arrive later in the afternoon. Maybe the place will be open and maybe it won't.

I was originally under the impression that the time burned up on today's 14 hour clock had contributed the issue with the scheduled delivery. After thinking it through though, this isn't the case at all. I was sent on my way at 4:30pm Central. 3pm on the following day would be 22½ hours later. The 763 dispatched miles could not, under any circumstance, be completed in one shift. Thus, it really made no difference if I could drive a full eleven hours tonight or if I could only drive three hours tonight. I would have to take a break either way. So you have to toss in a ten hour break and you're left with 12½ hours. At least one inspection plus the stop to scale the load knocks us down to 12 hours. In a perfect world with flat terrain, no traffic, no fuel stops, and accurately dispatched miles... maybe. Even then the required 63.58mph pace would be a tough one to swing. Just a poorly scheduled load, it would seem. If it had been picked up a few hours earlier, all would be well, but I was stuck in Benton this morning with a noon delivery appointment. Surely the folks assigning the loads were aware of this, no?

As it stands there's no way I can make it by 3pm. I'm going to do my best to make it close though, just in case the place is only open until 5pm or something. I had to weigh the prospect of staying on the interstates against the prospect of dropping out of Texarkana on US-59. The US-59 route would have some towns along the way, slowing the pace somewhat, but it's around 30 miles shorter than taking I-30 over to I-635 and then down to I-35. In addition, the all-interstate route would require me to get past Dallas, Austin, and San Antonio all in one trip. The odds of covering that entire route without encountering a mess would seem pretty slim. The US-59 route would involve Houston though. Pretty good chance of a traffic jam there too.

By the time I reached Texarkana, I had decided to trust my instincts and take US-59 southward. There are a whole bunch of 65mph stretches on this road and yesterday's photograph from I-35 was still fresh on my mind. I'll take my chances with Houston tomorrow and let the chips fall where they may. As I rolled down past I-20, I realized that the damned 14 hour clock was about to work its magic on my log book. I snuck a peek at my truck stop directory and saw that there was a Shell station in Carthage with a medium parking lot. If I couldn't find a spot there, I would be SOL in terms of complying with the law. As tends to be the case, the patron saint of the Fenian Godfather seems to have put in a good word for me and there was one open parking space in the back. Not lucky. Blessed.

I'll have around 520 miles left to cover tomorrow. Since I will be legal to get moving at 7:30am Central, I'm hoping that I can reach Laredo between 4pm and 5pm. It looks like I'm a good three hours from Houston as well. If there's a decent time to get through there on a Thursday morning, 10:30am is probably that time. Here's hoping that I can make my delivery whenever I get down to Laredo and then get the hell out of town before the weekend. Here's hoping...

10/27/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 03:30:00 +0000

A day with 465 miles on the odometer is pretty typical out here. Such a day in which the last 20 of those 465 miles comprised 90% of the work load... well, that's a little odd.

After getting unloaded this morning, I pulled around the corner and parked to await my next assignment. It didn't take long until the satellite unit chirped at me with the sort of information that I had anticipated. Back to the same shipper in Waco for another load. This one had some decent miles on it though and it got me out of Texas, so we'll have to assume that I'm free of that regional business for now.

My plan summary said that the load picked up in Waco tonight at midnight and had two drops in Arkansas tomorrow. Given yesterday's experience, I was fairly confident that I could make my pickup this afternoon and then get to the first delivery point for a full break tonight. If I actually had to pick it up tonight and then drive until morning, tomorrow's 14 hour clock would be shot by the time I made my second drop. I rolled into Waco around noon and sat parked on the street waiting to get into the shipper's driveway for quite some time. The security guard later told me that I had been behind a drayage container from China and also a local truck delivering 14 different purchase orders. Each of those came with a bunch of red tape so I got to sit and wait.

After finally getting in and making my drop/hook, I hit the road and made it past the Dallas area before any rush hour traffic had kicked up. It's not often that I have anything positive to say about Satan's Driveway (and I'm not entirely sure that this qualifies as something positive), but I'm glad I wasn't on that side of the road...

I don't remember exactly where this picture was taken. Somewhere between Waco and Dallas. That line was a solid seven or eight miles long and those people were parked. As you can see, my side was unimpeded. Beauty.

After a nap and a shower on the eastern edge of Texas, I got back on the road to finish tonight's trip into Hot Springs, Arkansas. I took I-30 over to Exit 78 and hopped on AR-7 northbound. There are certain things that you don't like to see when you're a truck driver. On a night when a little bit of rain is starting to fall and you're pulling a 40,000 pound payload, the word "scenic" on a highway sign is generally not good news. I'm sure that it's a lovely drive and all, but I didn't see any of that beautiful shit. I saw steep hills, windshield glare from oncoming high beams, and slippery curves that seemed to pop out of the darkness without warning. I once took US-62 across the top of Arkansas through Eureka Springs (a mistake that will never be repeated). Tonight's drive was child's play compared to that trip a few years back, but those last twenty miles into Hot Springs were definitely the hardest part of this trip.

I got parked in front of the makeshift loading dock at my consignee and then walked across the street to grab some dinner. I could see the lights for some kind of restaurant from where I was parked. The place was a nice little pizzeria and lounge that closed at 9pm and it was 8:45pm when I got there. Given my history in the restaurant business, I know that only a supreme douchebag would walk into a restaurant 15 minutes before closing time. (I'm sure that I'm talking about a few of you readers out there. The restaurant workers are most certainly saying it about you so you might as well know.) I do have plenty of my own douchebaggish tendencies but this is not one of them, so I moved along. There was a SubWay a few yards away though, open until 10pm, so obviously I was far from disappointed.

Once these guys pull the first bit of freight off in the morning, I'll have to head across to Benton and get rid of the rest. Then I'm not sure if I'll be under the control of Joplin or West Memphis. Either way I'll have plenty of available hours. Let's hope for plenty of available freight.

10/26/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:20:00 +0000

I've heard of flash flooding and such but there's no such thing as a flash hurricane, right? Holy moly. I was in alarm-free dreamland this morning when my truck started rocking back and forth and the rain started pelting the fiberglass right behind my head. That'll wake a fella pretty quickly. As the storm intensified, it occurred to me that I was going to have to start driving at some point in the day. Curious to see how bad it would be, I pulled up the Weather Channel's website and took a look. I had become convinced that a rare flash hurricane had descended directly on my truck. Just a thunderstorm, it turns out.

Getting through Houston last night seems to have been a good move, since here's what the satellite/traffic mashup showed this morning.

As for my least favorite city in America through which to drive... well, let's just say that the ole Godfather was thankful not to be on Satan's Driveway this morning.

Exclamation marks are accidents, whereas "JAM" means, well, you know what that means. These people simply cannot drive. It's stunning. Fortunately for me, today's trip into Austin brought me along TX-71 from the east and my afternoon appointment allowed me to sit out the worst of the storm, along with the rush hour shenanigans. In point of fact, TX-71 turned out to be a much faster road than I anticipated and I showed up an hour and a half early. I had been expecting to arrive less than an hour ahead of my appointment. The consignee wasn't ready for me until 2pm though, so I got to sit and wait.

On the way to Austin I had received a pre-planned assignment to pick up once I was empty. Usually that's a good thing. Usually. But not all pre-plans are created equally, I'm afraid. Obviously my first preference would have been to go eastward or westward out of Austin and not have to endure Satan's Driveway. Pretty slim chance of that happening though, so I couldn't be too surprised by a 99 mile deadhead up to Waco.

The loaded portion of the trip, well, that one was a surprise. 72 miles back down Satan's Driveway for a delivery in Georgetown tomorrow morning. I don't tend to get too bent out of shape about shitty runs to start the week, given that things tend to level out by the time the weekend rolls around. I will be curious to see how this week plays out though. I've heard some disconcerting tales of people getting sucked into this short haul shit in Texas for a major customer of ours for several days at a time. Knowing that I was headed to Texas, I was hoping that the ballyhooed new CTL regional fleet would be staffed well enough to accomodate the freight by now. Apparently this is not yet the case, seeing as I am not a regional driver and here I am. I don't know though. Maybe this bang-up 171 mile round trip was just the best they could do for me today. I doubt it. Whatever. Like I said, we'll see how the week plays out. Can't jump to too many conclusions on a Monday.

Once I was empty, the drive up through Austin and into Waco was about as obnoxious one would expect it to be. Certainly not my worst day on Satan's Driveway but slow and tedious just the same. Two slow lanes full of moronic drivers while the truckless left lane was wide open. C'est la vie.

A quick and easy drop/hook in Waco had me heading back southward on that glorious stretch of highway. Since I intended to spend the night at the store where I'm delivering tomorrow, I stopped off at the truck stop in Eddy for a little break and a fantastic Italian BMT with double meat. Better to arrive at the store after the parking lot had cleared out and so forth. Plus the break gave me the added benefit of being able to traverse the last 55 miles after the traffic had died down for the night. Since I have a 7am delivery appointment, I had to be done with today's work by 9pm. So I arrived just before 9pm. Pretty clever, eh? Yeah, I'm a thinker.

The last leg of the trip was easy until I made an adventure out of the store's parking lot. I saw the loading docks and it appeared that the lot was designed to allow a truck to swing around a horseshoe-shaped driveway and then back in. Halfway into the horseshoe, it was "Oh shit" time. The manager, who was leaving the store for the night, saw me getting out to assess the situation and came walking over. He told me that we're supposed to get turned around out in the middle of the parking lot and back in around the corner. Then he bitched for a few minutes about truck drivers damaging his merchandise and so forth. I told him that I wasn't going to hit anything. In the worst case scenario I would simply have to back out the same way that I came in and then get situated. It turned out that, by sliding my axles all the way forward and shortening my wheelbase, I was able to get my trailer kicked out to the right with a few back and forth movements. Then, with the shortened wheelbase, I was able to make the turn and complete the horseshoe approach that I had begun. Beauty.

Guess I might as well watch my 'Skins finish taking their whooping from the Eagles now. Such a once-proud organization... such a train wreck...

10/25/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:26:00 +0000

There are 119 teams that play Division 1-A college football. I have differing levels of respect and admiration for various programs around the country but I have intense animosity toward only one. I absolutely hate Boston College. How a group of people can manage to behave as such low-rent douchebags year after year, even during what had been a lengthy winning streak over the Irish, is beyond me. Their piss drunk fans would show up in their rented RV's every year and swear incessantly at the little old ladies around the Notre Dame campus. Their players have torn up the turf at Notre Dame stadium on more than one occasion. Their coaches (prior to these last two) have always been good for brushing off the Notre Dame head coach during the postgame handshake. That university and its fans are forever cursed with 'little brother' syndrome, on account of being the other Catholic school in America and (even more so) on account of enjoying a level of popularity somewhere behind the Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins, Quincy Youth Hockey, and whatever other teams exist in Massachusetts. Thus, this comes as no surprise...

Say what you will about Jimmy Clausen and his perceived arrogance. The kid just watched that #18 dipshit put up a bunch of receiving yards against the Irish defense and tried to congratulate him on a good game. The response, well, that's why you're Boston College. No winning streak or losing streak will ever change this fact.

Okay, off the soap box now. Hmm, anything else to say? Well, I did get my first run-in with a scalemaster today, so I guess that counts for something. I didn't feel like stopping at a CAT scale when I picked up this load in Florida. Probably should have stopped anyway. I can usually judge the weight on my drive axles by virtue of my suspension gauge and then do the math to estimate whatever is left on the trailer axles. For a 45,000 pound load I look for the needle to be just on the low side of the 60psi line. That's where this one was. I was pulled into the scales on I-10 in Florida on Friday and given a green light after they made me stop and weigh, so I assumed that all was well. The Louisiana dude thought otherwise this afternoon. He was very polite and friendly though, asking me to shift some weight off of the drive axles and re-weigh. After swinging back around and weighing for the second time, I got a green light and he sent me on my way. Beauty.

I had somewhere around 575 miles left to finish the trip to Austin when I started this morning. I figured that leaving something around 200 miles for tomorrow would work out okay, so 375 would have been today's target. Unbeknownst to me, that would have left me right on the eastern outskirts of Houston. Not a big deal per se, but I decided that I would be better off scooting through Houston this evening. You never really know how much of a disaster that town will be on a Monday morning. I stopped off at the Love's on the west side of Katy to call it a night, leaving roughly 130 miles for tomorrow. With an afternoon delivery appointment tomorrow it sure sounds like I won't be setting an alarm tonight. Beauty.

We'll wrap up with a little advance notice for some of you football fans with teams hanging around the top 15. My Irish are #23 in the BCS right now. Their biggest remaining obstacle will be the game against Pitt, who will likely be in the top 10 by the time my brothers and I invade the Steel City on November 14th. If the lads can crack the top 14, you can rest assured that they will be invited to a BCS game and they will displace a more highly rated program. I'm not saying that I expect them to win out. More likely they'll lose another close game along the way and none of this will matter. But, if they do run the table, you might as well practice your bitching nice and early. Some second-tier Big Ten, Pac 10, or ACC team will be getting snubbed.

10/24/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 18:08:00 +0000

Greetings and salutations from the Corleone family's Gulf Coast estate. About the only thing on the agenda for today was to cover at least 200 miles, leaving a reasonable day of driving for tomorrow and then a short one Monday to finish out the trip to Austin. The 200 mile mark came on the west side of Mobile, Alabama. I stopped in Theodore to top off my fuel tanks and then started watching the billboards. Not too far into Mississippi, I found what I was seeking. Super 8, Exit 50, Truck Parking. Beauty.

A quick peek at the web portal shows that this week will wrap up with a solid 2,842 miles. Or, in terms more familiar to some of us, I fell a few cheeseburgers short of $1,100 for the week. Not bad.

I haven't forgotten last year's experience, so even more than usual I'm looking forward to Our Lady's lads opening up a whole case of whoopass on Boston College today. No more 4th quarter comebacks. No more clever personnel groupings. Just eleven guys knocking the shit out of the people in front of them. A fake coach's pep talk didn't get it done last week, so we're going with a real one this time.

10/23/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 23:27:00 +0000

Ahh yes, nothing like a nice easy day to talk a driver back from the ledge. I guess I can hang on to my truck keys for at least another week or so.

When I woke this morning, I was ready to take on the day. The feds, on the other hand, required that I sit with my thumb up my ass for a few more hours. Soon enough though, I walked across the street and checked in with the shipper. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that my load was already ready already. The load assignment had not indicated a drop/hook. Cutting out the loading time helped to make up for some of the morning's mandatory rest that I didn't really need.

With a manly 45,000 pounds hooked up and ready to roll, I received my dispatch to deliver in Austin, Texas on Tuesday morning at 7am. The run is only 1,121 dispatched miles, so four full days seemed a little excessive, but no worries. I could take it easy this weekend and still have plenty of time to do my job. A Monday afternoon delivery would have been ideal, I thought to myself. Never been a fan of those early morning deliveries in big cities. And given my opinion of Austin, well, you know...

The stretch across the middle of Florida was beginning to get awfully tedious, what with all of the red lights and my heavy payload dragging me down. I got a phone call from work to lift my spirits though. It was a gentleman informing me that my new delivery appointment would be 2pm on Monday. He said that he tried to get an earlier one but this was the best that the consignee could do. Say no more, my friend. 2pm on Monday sounded perfect to me.

Once I caught up with I-75 the rest of the drive was smooth and easy. I was able to mix in a few short breaks along the way and even snagged an Italian BMT with double meat at the Pilot in Midway. By the time I got to Marianna the sun was going down and my attention span was lacking, so I pulled into the Pilot and called it a day.

I'm not really sure how the weekend will play out from here, but I certainly intend to spend tomorrow at one of the Corleone family's southeastern estates. I saw a hundred billboards for hotels with truck parking as I was driving today. I'm sure I'll be able to spot something decent before tomorrow afternoon. Despite the almost nuclear meltdown among the Notre Dame faithful following yesterday's scheduling announcement, we still have some unfinished business. The home losing streak to Michigan State has been handled. The USC situation will have to live on for another year, unfortunately. But tomorrow can bring an end to the losing streak to these bastards, and the world will be a better place for it.

10/22/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

I made sure to hit the weights and burn off a little aggression before turning on my computer tonight. I also spent a few minutes reminding myself that I seem to have a pretty enjoyable weekend in store. I really have made an effort... but I'm still running pretty hot. Just can't help it sometimes.

The day started innocently enough. My 11am relay wound up being a noon relay, but that ain't so bad I guess. Still plenty of time to make it to Tampa by 10pm. I'm not sure who or what caused the delay but the time stamps on the paperwork were interesting. Load ready - 2:20am. Scheduled pickup - 5:00am. Actual pickup - 5:50am. In any case I was off and running, down I-675 to I-75 and away we go.

Just before Exit 201 on I-75, everything came to a stop. I don't mean that traffic was moving slowly either. I mean set the brakes, make a sandwich, walk the dog, whatever. We ain't going anywhere. I turned on my CB and heard that a pickup truck had flipped over the guardrail and the cops had the freeway shut down. Sounds like a good time for lunch, I suppose. I edged my way off to the exit ramp and pulled into the Love's for some McNuggets. After a half hour the situation didn't appear to have improved. Time for a new approach then. A quick glance at my atlas showed that I could run GA-36 over to US-41 and then catch US-341 all the way down to I-75. That route turned out to be nice and mellow and it came with the added bonus of cutting the corner right past Macon. I seem to recall some construction delays on I-75 or I-475 the last time I went through the Macon area. No such delays with today's route. Beauty.

Just across the Florida line I got some further good news as a pre-plan for the weekend came across the magic satellite. I decided to stop at the Pilot in Wildwood and top off the tanks before finishing the trip into Tampa. That's where the ole Godfather's blood got its first hint of a boil. Some slovenly asswipe in a Celadon truck left me sitting at the fuel island for a solid twenty minutes after I was finished pumping. I wasn't too worked up yet though. I still only had a little bit of driving to do, plus I knew which way to go before parking for the night. It would be good not to have any worries about wandering around Tampa and hoping for a space at the Citgo.

The drop at the Tampa yard, however, turned out to be an absolute bullshit fiasco. It's a little rinky-dink yard like quite a few of the other Con-way yards around the country. Most of the small yards don't have 53' trailers coming out their asses backwards though. An absolute debacle. After the (not insignificant) feat of negotiating the turn into the damn place, I wound up having to make a blindside back into an empty space with very little room to maneuver. It took 45 minutes. No, I'm not exaggerating. The highlight probably came halfway through the process when one of the linehaul guys started getting all pissy because I was blocking the road and he couldn't get to his second trailer. It's probably best not to get too detailed regarding certain verbal exchanges that arise from time to time. This is one of those times. Let's just say that he may have been introduced to a phrase that rhymes with, "Go pluck your shelf." Tonight was not the night to mess with me.

After getting my trailer into the slot and dropping it, I took a walk around the yard. I had received a message from someone in Equipment Control asking me to retrieve a particular empty trailer. That particular trailer was in the back corner of a two-deep and two-wide cluster of trailers along the fence line. No chance for me to take that one, so I sent a satellite message explaining that the trailer was inaccessible. Back over on the other side of the facility, I found two empty CFI trailers. Both were buried behind three sets of doubles that had been dropped on the lot. No chance of getting either of those. Okay then, what else? At the eastern end of the yard there were two trailers from the old Con-way Truckload. The first of these two had a big orange placard on it, stating that it was leased to Con-way and not for use by other carriers. It also had no trailer number as far as I could see. The second had no such orange placard. It did, however, have the red vinyl numerals indicating that it was a CFI (and then CTL) trailer. I hooked it up, checked it over, and sent in my 'dropped trailer' form.

After a minute or so I received the information for the pre-planned weekend load. I also received a text reply to my earlier message about the inaccessible trailer, stating that the sender of the message would pass on the information to the Equipment Control people. I started up the road, expecting my dispatch to come through at any minute. With the need to find a parking space and catch a ten hour break before my scheduled pickup, I had very little time to waste. After I got about five miles up the highway the satellite unit chirped at me. My dispatch then, right? No. It was a message stating that the trailer that I was pulling had been sold to Con-way and that I couldn't take it. In other words, someone should have removed the CFI numbers and placed one of those big orange placards on the front. But nobody did. Shit. And the computer system should have sent an error message following my 'dropped trailer' form, saying that I picked up a nonexistent CTL trailer. But it didn't. Shit.

So I hopped off at the next exit and turned back toward the Con-way yard for a second go-around. My first drop/hook had taken from 8:45pm to 9:45pm. The round trip from the yard to the highway and back to the yard carried us to 10pm. The second drop/hook took another half hour. Given that the only empties that I might possibly take were buried behind Con-way doubles (down to one set by this point), I had to flag down the yard driver and ask him to move the set out of the way. I also had to see what he wanted me to do with the empty that I was returning, since he had already filled the space from which I had pulled it. He showed me a pair of open spaces behind the set of doubles that he was going to move. I made a lap around the building to get out of his way and set myself up to back into one of the open spaces. One of my CTL colleagues had arrived in the interim and entered the wrong way, so my intent was to hang back while she dropped her trailer and then take whichever space she didn't use. As the yard driver pulled the set of doubles forward to clear the path, another CTL driver came barrel-assing into the yard (the wrong way) and took one of the empty spaces. The first one who had come in the wrong way took the other empty space. I was back to square one and about ready to blow my top at this point.

The yard driver moved a trailer to a dock, leaving me an opening along the two-deep and two-wide cluster that I mentioned earlier. I swung my Godforsaken empty in there, dropped it, and then drove around to the other side of the building. I was fully expecting to find that the two nonconformists had taken the last of the empties. They had not. The lady driver was hooked to a trailer but Speed Racer there had gone down and parked his bobtail at the far end of the yard, among some Con-way pups. Thus, I got an empty. I sent a message advising the Joplin gang of my new new trailer number, along with a (perhaps unnecessary) bit about the fact that I was not at all pleased with how my previous two hours had been spent.

Off to Sanford we go. Can you guess what happens when you spend two hours in Tampa getting screwed around? The truck stops and rest areas all fill up before you can get to them. Yeah, really. As far as I could tell, I had shots at the truck stops in Polk City and then two rest areas on I-4. Trying to play it as safe as possible, I tried Polk City first. Nope. Then the rest area right outside Polk City. Yeah, that's funny. I continued onward and got stuck in a traffic jam in Orlando. Two left lanes closed for construction, at the exact point where the far right lane is forced to exit. People from both directions trying to jam into the right-center lane. Fucking brilliant. Construction work being done, you ask? Oh, none. None whatsoever.

The rest area right before Sanford was overfilled just like the previous one had been. I had no choice at this point but to go straight to the customer and hope for the best. The directions were wrong. I would have expected nothing less tonight. After getting stuck in a bad spot and backing my way out to the main road, I managed to wander around the industrial part of town long enough to find the road for which I was looking. I'm not sure what the legal ins and outs may be, but there were a couple of trucks parked along the side of this road when I arrived. Now there is one more.

So I was thoroughly pissed when I got settled in, to say the least. My quick workout seemed to help though, as did the knowledge that I have a little over 1,100 miles to run for the weekend and I should have plenty of time to kick back and watch some football. Speaking of football, let's see what kind of news we have today... What? You've got to be shitting me. They scheduled Western Michigan for next year? Oh, that ain't gonna help the anger level. Then, in the middle of my post, the freaking Blogger site crapped out. I don't know when it's coming back on, but I'll just save this as a text file and you'll get it when you get it. Whatever man.

Anybody wanna fight? Come to Sanford, Florida and I'll give you a shot or two. Running a little hot tonight. A little hot.

10/21/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:04:00 +0000

Just a quick warning: If today is any indication, I may not be long for this trucking gig. A future on a NASCAR pit crew might be my next calling. Yeah, that's right, I used a couple of adjustable wrenches and a pocket knife this afternoon. I noticed a few days ago that I had a busted mud flap on my trailer. From that point forward though, either I was in no position to deal with it (Monday) or I simply forgot to deal with it (Sunday & yesterday). I was making a drop/hook today though, so I made sure to stop and buy a new mud flap instead of leaving the problem for the next driver. My highly skilled cutting of the bolt holes and precise turning of the wrenches were quite beautiful to behold.

Then I got down past Atlanta before the afternoon rush got heavy. That's always nice. After dropping off my loaded trailer, I was directed to another lot down the street where I would find an empty. There was no gate to this second lot so I just hooked to my empty trailer and then stayed there. After an hour and a half or so, I hadn't received an assignment. I was parked outside a JC Penney outlet store so I headed in to see what sorts of deals I might find. After grabbing a few items, I called the automated 800 number to check on my board status. Assigned to a load. Of course. So I cut my shopping excursion short and paid for my goods, then headed back outside.

BOO! NEW ASSIGNMENT! BOO!

The good: I'll have a decent day of work for tomorrow and I'm not going anywhere cold.

The bad: I got 12 miles for today.

The ugly: Tomorrow's load is a relay setting out from our Atlanta drop yard.

My 'reflects poorly' disclaimer is permanently up there at the top now, so I'm just gonna say it. This place is a fucking disgrace. A handful of large trucking companies use this yard and each of them should be ashamed. The location, along bullshit skinny roads with blind turns and steep hills, is entirely inappropriate for truck traffic. The yard itself, small and irregular, gets crowded and difficult to navigate far too easily. The nearest place to get something to eat or drink is over a mile away, along a road that doesn't lend itself to a leisurely walk. And, according to a message board conversation from a while back, there is an ant problem. I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of ants, but my summary judgment on this place is that it sucks balls.

I made the quick trip over to the yard and dropped my empty trailer a little while ago, so that was that for today. My relay is due here by 11am tomorrow, at which time I'll be heading for Tampa. We'll have to see how screwed I am vis a vis parking after my drop tomorrow night, but at least the 456 loaded miles will get me over 1,600 for the week with Friday and Saturday still to come. Nice solid run for the weekend and some time to unwind at a Corleone estate on Saturday? We can hope, my friends. We can hope.

10/20/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

In one of the more uncanny coincidences to arise in recent memory here at Tales from the Road, we were given the opportunity for an immediate compare-and-contrast with respect to yesterday's 'not all miles are created equally' hypothesis. As I wrapped up my evening a little while ago, I took a look at today's trip odometer and jotted down the miles in my logbook. 495 exactly, for the second day in a row.

After the unloading process (and corresponding nap) took more than two hours this morning, my split break was complete and I was in good shape for today in terms of available hours. I was #1 on the board but it still took a few hours for my next assignment to come along. When it did though, it was a pretty decent one - a quick deadhead over to the Columbus suburbs and then a delivery tomorrow in the Atlanta suburbs.

The first few miles leaving De Graff were on two-lane roads, but next I caught up with US-33 and had an easy ride all the way to the I-270 loop. Then the shipper in Groveport, right off I-270, had me loaded quickly and on my way. The loaded portion of the trip is entirely on the interstates and the timing turned out to be nearly perfect. The afternoon rush had largely died down by the time I got to Cincinnati, then I was able to cruise through Lexington and Knoxville tonight before my hours ran out. In point of fact, the parking situation was one more aspect of fortunate timing on this trip. The truck stop in Niota, Tennessee is far more crowded than I expected it to be. I got a spot all the way in the back, as did the four or five trucks who came in after I did. Since that time, every truck that has come in has been forced to spin around and go back out. I'm sure that a few of them probably have parked on the driveway and made life difficult for everyone else, but generally speaking this place has no vacancy. Fifteen minutes later and I would have been screwed.

With only ~185 miles left for the back end of this trip to Forest Park, Georgia, I should be in decent shape to get past Atlanta before the afternoon gets too ridiculous. Then I'm set to make a drop/hook and hopefully catch another assignment fairly quickly. Parking and traffic and other assorted nonsense make the Atlanta area one of those places that I prefer not to hang around any longer than necessary.

Back to the hypothesis now; Today's 495 miles took 8 hours of driving, as opposed to yesterday's 10.25 hours. So one of two outlooks can be embraced. Either yesterday I had two hours disappear into the ether or today I got a two hour discount on my work. In either scenario, I stand by my statement that not all miles are created equally. They do (for the most part) all count toward my paychecks though. Thus far, the week stands at 1,146 miles (but none of the extra pay that had become fairly common lately). With half of Wednesday, all of Thursday, and then the entire weekend remaining, we should be looking at another solid week.

10/19/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

Webster's dictionary will tell you that a mile is a unit of linear measurement equal to 5,280 feet. I will submit to you that not all miles are created equally. Each of the 495 that went on my odometer today had to count for a minimum of 10,000 feet.

As I sat and typed last night's post, I watched one of my CTL colleagues pull into the truck stop and park. He had delivered at the same consignee as I had last night, arriving in their lot as I was leaving. After typing that post I took myself off the board and went to sleep. I already had been parked for a couple of hours, so I needed around eight more hours off in order to complete a ten hour break. I slept for about six hours, then woke and watched my aforementioned colleague leave the truck stop before my break was over. I'm nobody's babysitter and I really don't give a damn one way or the other, but it seemed rather unlikely to me that he could have completed any kind of legal break in the time that he had spent parked a few spaces down from me. He sure as hell hadn't been at the truck stop for ten (or even eight) hours. I don't know. Maybe he had time on his 14 from last night or something. Just struck me as curious.

After completing my break, I sent in my 'on duty' form and then received an assignment within a half hour. I had to go back up to Neenah and grab a load heading to Ohio. If not for the fact that the forklift people's lunch break came in the middle of their loading of my trailer, I would have been rolling very quickly. As it was, I was in and out within an hour and a half. Not so bad.

I got past Milwaukee before traffic started to get really heavy but I was heading right into the usual afternoon shitstorm in Chicago. Since my last few trips through town have been less than impressive, I decided to try going around on I-294 this time. I don't know man. It may have saved a minute or two. It may have added a minute or two. It's hard to say. The traffic was jammed up solidly all the way down past I-290. Once I got out of the construction though, everything was moving freely. Sometimes I think they should just sink that whole region into Lake Michigan and be done with it.

Getting to the little town of De Graff, Ohio proved to be quite a tedious process in its own right. The Indiana portion of the drive, while a little slow in spots, wasn't too bad. I dropped out of South Bend on US-31, then took the US-20 loop over to US-33 and down to Fort Wayne. Into Ohio on US-30, no worries. Just the 55mph speed limit and watching the other trucks pass me with regularity. Then I got to the good stuff. OH-309 into Lima was a little slow, mainly due to slow cars and the fact that there was no room for me to pass them. From Lima to De Graff, I would have to estimate that it was around 30-40 miles and took well over an hour. This is after the Chicago nonsense and the 45-55mph speed zones for most of Indiana and Ohio. I was paid for 461 miles today. I left the shipper in Neenah with 9 miles on my trip odometer, having driven those 9 miles from the truck stop in Oshkosh to make my pickup. My odometer said 495 miles at the end of the day. Those 486 loaded miles took ten hours. Thus, not all miles are created equally.

I'm in a gravel area at the end of some hick street for the night. There are two warehouses here, with neither of them displaying an address nor the name of a business. In following my directions to get here, I was sent past a sign saying that no trucks were allowed on the residential street leading to the warehouses. Overall, a pretty half-assed arrangment, if you ask me. Despite all of this, I'm just thankful that there was a place here for me to park and go to bed. I had no 'Plan B.' I am due to deliver at 9am and there were no truck stops anywhere near here that I could see. Furthermore, the trip down here took so damn long that I wouldn't have been able to take a ten hour break and then deliver on time, even if there had been a truck stop on the way. Now, since I'm already here, I can just use a split. Eight hours in the bunk will get me enough time to check in and back into the loading dock. Then I'll need to take two more hours off in order to get back the time that I used today, but I can probably knock most of that out by taking a nap while they unload my trailer. I don't know. Whatever. I'll figure out the details in the morning. This was a long day. I'm tired.

10/18/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

During the obligatory 'how have you been' phone call from my parents today, I learned a very important lesson. While being fat and lazy is probably not the most advisable lifestyle, being a marathon runner will kill you. I guess we'd better aim for some kind of happy medium or something. Three people in one day? I've never even heard of that sort of thing. Damn.

Speaking of being fat and lazy, you should have seen the breakfast that I got in Sturgis this morning. That was a doozy. I had to check out of my hotel by 11am but I didn't want to start driving my truck that early, on account of the 14 hour rule. With a late night delivery it was entirely possible that I might need to drive to a truck stop after 1am. So my buddy and I drove up the road a few miles and landed at a place called Savory Restaurant. On the heels of last night's undisclosed activities, a nice big breakfast seemed to be just what the doctor ordered. I decided on something called the Mega Feast. Whoa Nellie, that description was far more accurate than I expected.

Feeling nice and lethargic after managing to finish almost the entire meal, I went back to my truck and took a nap in the hotel's parking lot. Screw it. Only 325 miles to drive today. I finally got rolling this afternoon and found that Chicago was once again a parking lot on a Sunday, and for no apparent reason. After slowly plodding through there, the only remaining obstacles were a few more construction zones and a Swift driver at the Pilot in Racine. I stopped to top off the tanks and grab a gallon of oil, but wound up getting stuck behind this guy in the line at the fuel desk. Hmm, how shall we put this? Let's just say that, if I had any cash on me at the time, I would gladly have bought this character a stick of deodorant. Absolutely revolting.

Despite all of the slowdowns and the frustration, I still was way ahead of schedule for tonight's 10pm Central delivery appointment. A three-hour break in Oshkosh did the trick though, after which I finished the last leg of the drive to Neenah. I was half expecting the run into the 'no appointment' issue when I arrived, but instead I found another problem. Nobody home. There was a J.B. Hunt driver parked at the dock when I showed up. After trying to check in and finding a locked door, I wound up chatting with him for a minute. His dispatcher had told him that the consignee opened at 10pm, so we stood and waited for 10pm to arrive. The top of the hour came and went. Nobody home. Ain't that a bitch. I sent a satellite message to make the people in charge aware of the situation, then sat and waited some more. Around 10:30pm somebody showed up. I checked in, backed into a door, and had an empty trailer within twenty minutes. Not so bad then. No mention of any appointment issues either.

I was fortunate enough to find a parking spot at the truck stop on the north end of Oshkosh, only five miles from where I made my delivery. #1 on the board at the moment, but I'm about to send in my 'off duty' form and try to get some sleep. Jumping forward ten hours then, I'll probably miss out on the first round of early load assignments tomorrow, but hopefully the week can get off to a decent start. Yesterday turned out to be an expensive one and that dirty band of Jesuits from Boston are coming to town next weekend. You never know where my services (or those of the mischievous Swede) might be needed.

10/17/09

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:41:00 +0000

A glorious fall Saturday in Northern Indiana. Three hours of driving this morning got me to the Corleone family's Howe estate. This closes the books on another pay week with 2,420 miles plus a little over $80 in northeast pay. Any time I can squeak over $1,000 I can't complain.

Now it's time to gear up for my lads to shock the nation. Those of you who have come to know my Swedish buddy Sjoe might be able to guess where he'll be this afternoon. Could any place in the world compare? I doubt it.

The boys will need to play some inspired football today. They'll be outmanned in the trenches. They'll be outmanned in the running game. They'll be outmanned on special teams. But it's a game of inches, as our man Tony D'Amato would say...