Vishful Thinking...

Movie Review: 7aam Arivu

2011-11-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

Hiya Folks!

This time am back much quicker - thanks to 7aam Arivu.

The movie was such a profound effort at utter stupidity that it's one of those things that wake you up in the middle of the night squealing in self pity, months after the experience.
Ok, am exaggerating.
Maybe just weeks.

After purchasing tickets for "Seven-A.M. Arivu" (else the Scottish guy at the counter wouldn't have understood), we went in all eager to drink in the magnum opus it was billed to be. And the first few scenes quite lived up to that hype. They added to the sense of magnificence that surrounded the movie before its launch.

But the moment Circus-wala Surya appeared on screen, looking like a Liverpool Chav, my heart sank. If they could do this to a guy who is among the better-lookers in Kollywood, woe-be-me!!

The plot:
Bodhi Dharma is a Tamilian who went to China 1600 years back and started the Shaolin Temple, and is still regarded a 'God' there - for his medical, martial & hypnotism abilities. Shruthi Hassan is a present-day PYT in India doing some DNA-level maha-research, which is meant to reintroduce lost traits in your DNA/genes/whatever. And if that succeeds, she would be able to recreate Bodhi Dharma from one of his descendants. Just like that. So she goes around looking for the descendants and finds them quite easily (next target - Maddie McCann?). As you rightly guessed now - modern-day Surya is one of them. And she immediately decides that he would be the guinea pig for her research. But she does it all on the sly, so the poor lad doesn't know all this background info. He duly falls for her and sings a couple of duets, taking breaks from his circus routines. Later when he gets to know that she had befriended him not to get into his jeans, but rather his genes, all hell breaks loose.
Not.
Where you would expect him to exhibit vertebral capacity and stand up to his own dignity, he continues to be Junior Hassan's Beeyaatch, virtually peeing at her bidding, after a brief display of salt-induced-sensitivity.
Meanwhile, the bleddy Chinese government (verbally censored, but the subtitles spelt the word out! DUH!) makes secret plans to do something that will get India to dance to its tunes very shortly: that is to release a very deadly virus in India, get the epidemic to spread, and later come and get Indians to lick the medicine off their palms. Their extremely well-informed intelligence has warned them about this girl in India whose research will be the only stumbling block for their grand designs - as she is trying to recreate the legendary medical expert Bodhi Dharma with the aid of genetic engineering. So that's how the dots connect.
To make this happen, the Chinese Govt selects the best student from Shaolin and sends him across to India with some money that permits him to buy a Hummer, and lots to buy the fuel. His motive - to spread the deadly-disease, and to 'find them, kill them' both. While he does have the appearance to shiver-you-timbers, all he does is to walk around with a stern look on his face - the kind I have when I try to choose between noodles and spaghetti for dinner. Vetthu Vaettu Singaaram.
(Him. Not me)
He does succeed in spreading the virus. As all hell breaks loose in Tamil Nadu, a half-baked gang of 5 take it upon themselves to save the nation. By recreating Bodhi Dharma from Surya. It's a process that will take days and they need to get it completed before they get caught by the China Man. So they put a brilliant getthu plan, use a hitech lab at IIT for a hideout, and make one of their friends stay in the 'outside world' to support their external needs. And they change SIM cards. But still, the China-wala starts finding and killing them all one by one. He eventually reaches the last remaining warriors, only to find Surya being pickled in a large glass jar in the name of DNA-revival - the result of a long and extensive research by Shruti Hassan that lasted threeeeeee fullllll years. Then comes the climax - the man generally known for his short-term-memory-loss, wakes up with very-long-term-memory-retention suddenly "remembering" Bodhi Dharma's powers. He annihilates the villain and the disease, and then you are given a sermon on Tamil / Tamilan / Ilangai / etc.
And Murugadoss appears for a brief while on the screen (with the same noodle-spaghetti look), which serves well to remind you of the numerous vows you took during the movie around this very fellow.

If you think this was a spoiler, you should see what Murugadoss has done to the movie. Not many people can succeed in messing up an interesting story-base as this. But this fellow has done that in an unparalleled fashion. If at least this had been a Gaptun-Baagistaan-Tamil movie, most of us would have escaped watching it until the scenes get on youtube. But whattodo!

What truly irked me was the fact that soooooo mannnnnny trivial things were beefed up in the movie to appear like significant stuff. I could find it all through the movie. Remember the scene from Singam where Vivek says "Tea kudikka polama?", and the constables reply, "YESSSIR!" in all earnestness? Much of 7-am arivu felt like that. Sappa matterukku over soundu.

He says "Lift vara late aagudhu.. Lets take the steps" - and everyone responds like it's a decision of utmost brilliance requiring immense analysis
"SIM cards change panniralaam.. Appo avanukku namma enga irukkom nu theriyadhu".. And they proceed to show every step in the supply chain of sim card delivery that makes you wonder if it were truly a tough thing to do
And many many more that I couldn't care to note down

What also irked me equally was the complete lack-of-sense in so many things:

"IIT la lab irukku.. Adha use pannikalaam.. 18 days leave, yaarum irukka maattaanga" - WTF!!! WWTTFF!! WWWTTTFFF!!! Next thing you know, they will be showing IIT-guys throwing ink on each others' uniform shirts on the last day before Annual Holidays
He and she are sitting in an auto - virtually visible from all directions. Suddenly spotting the villain in the vicinity, he tells her "avan varraan.. keezha paaru" ?!?!?!?!?! As if they were playing peekaboo..
Why the hell would the fantastic-few want to leave one person "outside" to support them? If the allakkai fellow anyway had to get out of IIT to receive all the stuff, can he not go to the shops directly? Unnecessary red-tape I say..
After a night-ful of knowing that they had to meet the fraud-Prof in the morning, the Hero and the Heroini discuss strategies at 9 o clock on the way to the meeting "seri.. ippo Prof-a paakka porome.. Enna seyya porom?"..
One particular stunt scene around containers was the ultimate insult to the movie-going crowd. They have used 'hypnotism' as if you could transfer knowledge wirelessly. One look from the villain, and old men and young women start performing anthar balti and back-flips..
Really.. 3 yrs of PG-research to make DNA-level tweaks? Really?! I mean.. Ok, forget it..

Shruthi Hassan is quite photogenic, but not video-genic/audio-genic if you get what I mean. Acting and her - 7aam poruttham only. You almost immediately start feeling sorry for Kamal Hassan.
And looks like she wasn't paid enough - I could only find half of her in the movie.
I didn't know iPhone is so common in India! Everyone has one. And surprisingly, Blackberry has THE iPhone ringtone
To be brutally honest, I did enjoy some parts of the movie..

Surya as Bodhi Dharma has good screen presence.. He commands attention.. Unfortunately those scenes dont last too long..
Dialogues sparkle in a couple of places: Uyiroda post mortem panni vechurukke...... Foreign pona first doctor aa?... Etc

But these were so few and far between, that throughout the movie you find bitterness spreading through the length and breadth of your being.

Final Verdict:

7-am Arivu: Moolai Ketta Mundam

செல்வராஜ் மாஸ்டர் - II

2011-09-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

Part 1 இங்கே.

ஆக, நான் கீபோட் வகுப்பு சேர்ந்தாகி விட்டது.

வாரத்திற்கு இரண்டு-மூன்று வகுப்புகள் நடைபெறும். அன்றைய தினங்கள் காலை முதல் கடைசி மணி வரை என் நினைவெல்லாம் Casio SA-10 தான். பேருந்தில் செல்லும் போது கைப்பிடியிலும், வகுப்பில் அமர்ந்திருக்கும் போது மேசையிலும், நடந்து கொண்டிருக்கும் போது மனதுக்குள்ளும் வாசித்துக்கொண்டே இருப்பேன். I was completely overwhelmed. By the instrument, and the master.

கீபோட் கட்டைகள் அவர் விரல்களுக்கு சிறிதாகவே தெரியும். இருந்தும் அனாயாசமாக வாசிப்பார். கத்துக்குட்டிகளான எங்கள் விரலசைவில் தேவையற்ற அழுத்தம் இருக்கும். ஆனால் மாஸ்டரின் விரலசைவில் ஒரு வசீகரமான அலட்சியம் தெரியும். நினைத்த பாடலை நினைத்த நிமிடம் வாசிக்கும் வேகம் எங்கள் அனைவரையும் கவர்ந்தது. And he was a very friendly man. "கடிச்சு கொதறிபுடுவேன்" என்று எங்களை கண்டக்டர் அண்ணா மிரட்டும்போது, எங்களுக்கு ஆதரவாக இரண்டொரு நல்வார்த்தை பேசுவார், சிரிப்பார். பொடிப்பசங்கதானே என்று நினைக்க மாட்டார், நாங்கள் சொல்வதையும் கவனமாக கேட்பார். எங்கள் நேரு மாமா.

என்ன காரணமோ தெரியவில்லை, அவருக்கும் என்னை பிடித்து விட்டது. மற்றவர்களை விட என் மேல் அதிகமாக கவனம் செலுத்துவார். எனக்கு அதிக நேரம் சொல்லித்தருவார். கீபோட், ஹார்மோனியம் என்று மாற்றி மாற்றி எனக்கு பயிற்சி கொடுப்பார். Inexplicably, it looked like the respect was mutual!

நான் மேலும் மேலும் கற்றுக்கொள்ள, எனக்கு ஈடாக அவரும் மகிழ்ந்தார். நேரம் காலம் கண்டுகொள்ளாமல் எனக்கு பயிற்சி கொடுப்பார். ஞாயிற்றுகிழமைகளில் நான் அவர் வீட்டிற்க்குச் சென்று ஐந்து-ஆறு மணி நேரம் டேரா போட்டுவிடுவேன். சலிக்காமல் கற்றுத் தருவார். ம்யூசிக் கிளாஸ் இல்லாத வார நாட்களில் நேரமிருந்தால் அவரே என் வீட்டிற்கு வந்து கீபோட்-ஐ என் கையில் கொடுத்து விளையாடச் சொல்வார். அவர் பர்சனல் வேலையாக எங்காவது சென்றால், என்னையும் கூட அழைத்துச் செல்வார். அவரது லூனா-வில் நாங்கள் உக்கடம், சாய்பாபா காலனி, நூறடி ரோடு, RS புரம், என்று கூகிள் மேப்பில் பெரிதாகத் தெரியும் அனைத்து இடங்களுக்கும் சென்றதுண்டு. எங்கு சென்றாலும் சாப்பிட ஏதாவது வாங்கித் தருவார். "வீட்டில் டின் கட்டுவார்கள்" என்று எவ்வளவு சொன்னாலும் கேட்க மாட்டார். பயத்துடன் சேர்த்து அவர் வாங்கித் தருவதையும் தின்று தீர்ப்பேன்.

எல்லாம் ஓரிரு மாதங்களுக்கு தான்.

அதன் பின், என் அப்பாவிற்கு மாற்றலாகி, நாங்கள் சென்னைக்கு சென்று விட்டோம்.

ஜிமெயில், ஆர்குட், பேஸ்புக் இல்லாத காலங்கள்.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

2002 - கோவையில் PSG-யில் சேர்ந்தேன். எனக்கு அந்த ஊரின் மேலிருந்த ஈர்ப்பிற்கு ஒரு காரணம் - செல்வராஜ் மாஸ்டர்.

முதல் செமஸ்டர் முடிந்த நாள்.

விடுதி வெறிச்சோடிக் கிடந்தது. ஈரோடு, மேட்டுபாளையம், சேலம், திருப்பூர் மக்கள் விடுமுறைக்கு பறந்திருந்தனர். சென்னை, நெல்லை போன்ற தூரப் பிரதேச மக்கள் மட்டும் இரவு வரை நேரம் கடத்திக் கொண்டிருந்தோம்.

"டேய்.. சாய்பாபா காலனி-ல ஒரு வேலை இருக்கு. கூட வர்றியா?" என்றான் லவா. கூட பல்குன் மற்றும் டெல்லி அருண்.

"எனக்கும் 8 வருஷ பெண்டிங் வேலை ஒண்ணு இருக்கு. வா போலாம்" என்று கிளம்பினேன்.

இரண்டு மூன்று பேருந்து மாறி சாய்பாபா காலனி சென்றடைந்தோம். ராஜா அண்ணாமலை ரோடு. அங்கப்பா பள்ளி தூரத்தில் தெரிந்தது.

"என்னாங்கடா இவ்ளோ மெதுவா நடக்குறீங்க. நா முன்னாடி போறேன்" என்று மற்றவர்களை விட்டுவிட்டு வேகமாக ஓடினேன்.

பள்ளியில் கடைசி மணி அடித்திருந்தது. அன்றைய தினத்தை வெற்றிகரமாக கடத்திய மகிழ்ச்சியில் குழந்தைகள் வெளியேறிக் கொண்டிருந்தனர். பள்ளிக்கு அருகில் சென்று பார்த்தபோது, பரப்பளவு குறைந்தது போல் தெரிந்தது. கண நேர ஆச்சரியத்திற்கு பிறகு சிரித்து கொண்டேன். The wonders of relative magnitude. மாற்றத்தை ரசித்தேன்.

அப்பொழுது அங்கே நின்றுகொண்டு குழந்தைகளை வரிசை படுத்திக் கொண்டிருந்தார் ஒரு அம்மையார். எங்கள் PT மிஸ். அவர் ஒரு டெர்ரர். ஒற்றைச் சொல்லால் ஒட்டு மொத்த கும்பலையும் அமைதியாக்குவார். பழக்க தோஷத்தில் அவரைக் கண்டதும் மிரண்டுவிட்டேன். அப்பொழுது அவர் என்னைப் பார்த்தார். யாரையோ தேடி நான் வந்ததை புரிந்து கொண்டு, "சொல்லுங்க சார். யார் வேணும்?" என்றார்.

"சாரா? நானா? ஹா ஹா ஹா ஹா ஹா!!" என்று மனதுக்குள் சிரித்துக்கொண்டேன். மாற்றத்தில் குதூகலித்தேன்.

அப்பாடக்கர் எண்ணத்தை அடக்கிக் கொண்டு, "பஸ் டிரைவர் செல்வராஜ் அண்ணா இருக்காரா? அவர பாக்க தான் வந்தேன்" என்றேன்.

"கேட் முன்னாடி பஸ் நிக்குது பாருங்க. வந்துருவார். இப்போ கெளம்புற நேரம் தான்." என்று எனக்கு வழிகாட்டினார் அந்த முன்னாள் டெரரிஸ்ட்.

எதிர்பாராமல் கிடைத்த மரியாதையின் மமதையில் லேசாக சிரித்துக்கொண்டே பேருந்தருகில் சென்று நின்றேன்.

"எட்டு வருஷம் ஆயிருச்சே.. ஆள் எப்டி மாறி இருப்பார்? கண்டிப்பாக நான் வந்து பார்ப்பேன் என்று எதிர்ப்பார்த்திருக்க மாட்டார். இந்த நேரம் ஒரு கேமரா இருந்துருக்க கூடாதா? அவர் ரியாக்ஷன படம் புடிச்சுருக்கலாமே!". ஆயிரம் எண்ணங்கள் மனதுக்குள்.

அப்போது அவர் வந்தார்.

அவரே தான்! மாஸ்டர்!

அதே ஒல்லி உருவம். முகத்தில் அதே தாடி. அதே அமைதி.

ஓடிச் சென்று, வாய் நிறைய பற்களுடன், "எப்டி இருக்கீங்க மாஸ்டர்?" என்றேன்.

முன்னறிவிப்பின்றி வந்த சத்தத்தில் திரும்பி என்னைப் பார்த்தவர், சற்றே குழப்பத்துடன் "நல்லா இருக்கேன்...." என்று இழுத்தார்.

Of course! How can he recognize me at sight! எட்டு வருடங்களில் 4' 5" இலிருந்து 5' 10" ஆகி இருந்தேன். கம்பளி பூச்சி மீசை வேறு. எடையில் இரட்டிப்பாயிருந்தேன்.

"நாந்தான் சார்... விஸ்வநாத்.. 8 வருஷம் முன்னாடி உங்க கீபோட் ஸ்டுடென்ட்.. அப்புறம் சென்னை போயிட்டேன்.. இப்போ இங்கதான் PSG-ல சேந்திருக்கேன்"

"......."

"VCV லே-அவுட்ல எங்க வீடு.. அப்பப்போ வந்து சொல்லி குடுப்பீங்களே சார்?"

"......"

"எங்க போனாலும் என்ன கூட்டிட்டு போவீங்க சார்.. செலீனா மிஸ்-க்கு அடி பட்டப்போ போய் பாத்தோமே? உங்க பிரெண்டு பாஸ்டன் வீட்டுக்கும் கூட்டிட்டு போயிருக்கீங்க.."

"......"

"ஹேமாம்பிகா கிளாஸ்-ல தான் நானும் இருந்தேன்".. She was his neice..

"இவ்ளோ ஞாபகம் வெச்சு சொல்றீங்க.. சாரி, எனக்கு சரியா தெரியலீங்களே.." என்றார், ஒரு வித குற்ற உணர்வுடன்.

"......" - இம்முறை, அமைதி காத்தது நான்.

"இன்னும் இன்ஸ்ட்ருமென்ட் ப்ராக்டிஸ் பண்றீங்களா?" - அவர்.

"... ம்ம்ம்.. பண்றேன் சார். ஸ்கூல் மியூசிக் டீம்-ல இருந்தேன்.."

"ஓ.. நல்லது.. நேரம் கெடைக்கும் போது வாங்க.. சேந்து ப்ராக்டிஸ் பண்ணலாம், சார்"..

சார்? சார்?!?!

அமைதியாக தலையாட்டி விட்டு நகர்ந்தேன்.

சற்றே தொலைவில் நின்று பார்த்துக் கொண்டிருந்த என் நண்பர்கள், அருகில் வந்து அமைதியாக என் தோளைத் தட்டிக் கொடுத்தது எனக்கு தெரியவில்லை.

மாற்றத்தின் மறுமுகம்.

செல்வராஜ் மாஸ்டர் - I

2011-04-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

நவம்பர் 2002.

கோயமுத்தூரில் பொறியியல் படிக்க நான் சேர்ந்து நான்கு மாதங்கள் ஆகி இருந்தன. சொந்த ஊரான சென்னையில் அண்ணா யுனிவேர்சிட்டி-யில் இடம் கிடைத்தும் பி.எஸ்.ஜி தான் செல்வேன் என்று அடம் பிடித்து வந்திருந்த காலம். பலருக்கும் அந்த முடிவின் காரணம் புரியவில்லை. உண்மையை சொல்வதென்றால், எனக்கும் ரொம்ப புரியவில்லை. It was probably not a very logical decision. Though one I have never regretted.

"பி.எஸ்.ஜி. தான் உனக்கு ரைட்" என்ற என்னுடைய வகுப்பாசிரியரின் advice, தாத்தா-பாட்டி இருக்கும் பொள்ளாச்சி-க்கு பக்கத்தில் இருக்கிறது என்ற கூடுதல் ஜாலி - இது போன்றவை முக்கிய காரணிகளாக இருந்தாலும், இன்னொரு சிறு காரணி: அது வரையில் என் வாழ்வின் மிக்க மகிழ்ச்சியான நாட்களை நான் கோவையில் தான் கழித்திருந்தேன்.

From 2nd standard to 4th standard. என்னுடைய ஆட்டோகிராப் தினங்கள் (without the slew of heroines).

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அப்பொழுது நான் சாய்பாபா காலனி-யில் அங்கப்பா-வில் படித்து கொண்டிருந்தேன்.
நாலாம் வகுப்பில் இருந்தபோது, பள்ளியில் extra-curricular activities என்ற பெயரில் சில class-களை அறிவித்தார்கள். வீட்டில் அப்பாவிடம் சொன்னேன்.

"நல்ல விஷயம். என்னென்ன class நடத்த போறாங்க?" என்றார்.

ஒப்பித்தேன்.

"ம்யுசிகல் இன்ஸ்ட்ருமென்ட் ஒண்ணு கத்துகிறது நல்லது தான். பெர்கஷின் லாம் சேந்தா மத்த இன்ஸ்ட்ருமென்ட்-ஓட தயவு தேவைப் படும். ஹார்மோனியம்-னா, வேற யாரும் இல்லைனா கூட நீயே கச்சேரி நடத்திரலாம். ஹார்மோனியம் சேந்துக்குரியா?" என்றார்.

"ஒண்ணும் புரியல OK!" என்றேன், அனுமதி கிடைத்த மகிழ்ச்சியில்.

மறு நாள் class துவங்கியது. எல்லா மியூசிக் ஸ்டூடென்ட்ஸும் ஒரே இடத்தில் குழுமி இருந்தோம்.

மிருதங்கம். ட்ரம்ஸ். கிடார். கீபோட். ஹார்மோனியம். டபிள் பாங்கோஸ். எல்லாம் அடுக்கப் பட்டிருந்தன.

சிறிது நேரத்தில் பஸ் டிரைவர் செல்வராஜ் அண்ணா வந்தார்.

'அட. இன்னிக்கு நம்ம ஸ்கூல் பஸ்-ல போக போறதில்ல-னு தெரியாம நம்மள தேடிட்டு வந்துருக்காரோ?' என்று நான் நினைத்த நேரத்தில், "எல்லாரும் வந்தாச்சா? நான் தான் உங்களுக்கெல்லாம் மியூசிக் கிளாஸ் எடுக்க போறேன்!" என்றார், என் அதிக பிரசங்க எண்ணத்தை அடியோடு அழித்தவாறு.

பஸ் டிரைவர் செல்வராஜ் அண்ணா.

ஒல்லியான உருவம். neat-ஆக சீவிய முடி. பிரபுதேவா தாடி. முகத்தில் ஒரு அமைதி. புன்சிரிப்பு.

"யார் யார் என்னென்ன இன்ஸ்ட்ருமென்ட்-க்கு பேர் குடுத்துருக்கீங்க?"

"கீபோட்", "கிடார்" என்று எல்லாரும் modern-ஆக சொல்லிக்கொண்டிருக்க, அமைதியாக "ஹார்மோனியம்" என்றேன், வேறு யாருக்கும் கேட்டுவிடக் கூடாதே என்ற பயத்தில். அந்த நேரம் பார்த்து குரங்கு சேஷ்டை கணேஷ் டபிள் பாங்கோஸ்-ஐ வெளுத்து கட்டி கொண்டிருந்ததால், நான் சொன்னது மாஸ்டர் தவிர யாருக்கும் கேக்கவில்லை. சில நொடிகளுக்கு கணேஷ் என் மானசீக best-friend ஆனான்.

எல்லோரும் instrument-choice சொன்னவுடன், குரூப்- குரூப்பாக பிரிக்கப்பட்டோம். தேசிகனும் நானும் மட்டும் தான் ஹார்மோனியம். partners in self pity என்று ஒன்றாக உட்கார்ந்து கொண்டோம்.

சிறிது நேரத்தில் செல்வராஜ் அண்ணா.. அல்ல.. செல்வராஜ் மாஸ்டர் எங்களிடம் வந்தார்.

"என்ன.. ரெண்டு பேரும் ஹார்மோனியம்-ஆ? கொஞ்ச நாளைக்கு கீபோட் குரூப்-ஓட உக்காந்துகோங்க. ஹார்மோனியத்துல ரெண்டு கட்டை சரி இல்ல" என்று எங்களை சுய பச்சாதாபத்தில் இருந்து விடுவித்தார். இருந்தாலும் அப்பா-விடம் சொல்ல வேண்டுமே என்ற பயத்தில் "இல்ல மாஸ்டர்.. அப்பா ஹார்மோனியம் தான் கத்துக்க சொன்னார்" என்றேன்.

"ஹா ஹா.. ரெண்டுமே ஒண்ணு தான்! ஒண்ணும் வித்தியாசம் இல்ல. அப்பா-கிட்ட நான் சொல்லிக்குறேன்" என்றார்.

அட்ரா சக்க. அட்ரா சக்க.

ஆர்வத்துடன் கீபோட் பக்கம் சென்றோம்.
பளபளவென்று இருந்தது.
Casio SA-10.

இன்று அது சின்னதாகத் தெரிந்தாலும், அன்று இம்மாம்பெரிசாகவே தென்பட்டது. பயபக்தியுடன் தொட்டு கண்களில் ஒற்றிக் கொண்டு மாஸ்டரை நோக்கினோம். கரும்பலகை ஒன்றை வைத்து, அவருடைய trademark புன்னகையுடன் C, D, E, F, Staff, Stave, G-Clef, என்றெல்லாம் தியரி நடத்தினார். பின் முதல் பாடலாக 'ரகுபதி ராகவ ராஜாராம்' சொல்லிக் கொடுத்தார். (இன்று வரை, நான் கண்ணை மூடிக் கொண்டும் வாசிக்கக் கூடிய ஒரே பாடல் அதுவே). ஒரு மணி நேரம் நாங்கள் மாற்றி மாற்றி கர்மசிருத்தையுடன் ரகுபதி ராகவா ராஜாராமினோம். அதன் பின் வந்த மாஸ்டர் "Ok, இன்னிக்கு இது போதும். Tune கரெக்டா வாசிக்கிரீங்களோ இல்லையோ, fingering ரொம்ப முக்கியம். கொஞ்ச நாளைக்கு இதையே practice பண்ணுவோம். இப்போ எல்லாரும் வீட்டுக்கு போங்க. நாளைக்கு பாப்போம்!" என்று அனுப்பி வைத்தார்.

தங்க ராஜ பஸ் ஏறி 80 பைசாவுக்கு டிக்கெட் வாங்கி, ஷண்முகா தியேட்டரில் இறங்கி, மீதிச் சில்லறை 20 பைசாவுக்கு 2 பிஸ்கட் வாங்கி தின்றுகொண்டே வீட்டிற்குச் செல்லும் வரையில் அந்த கீபோட் ஒலி என் காதில் ரீங்காரித்துகொண்டே இருந்தது. மாடிப் படிக்கட்டுகள் என் கண்ணிற்கு அடுக்கி வைத்த கீபோட் கட்டைகளாக தெரிந்தன.

அப்பா வீட்டிற்கு வந்ததும் விஷயத்தை சொன்னேன்.

"அப்படியா. அப்போ சரி கீபோடே கத்துக்கோ. ஆனா என் கிட்ட வந்து வாங்கி குடு-னு கேக்காதே" என்று எனக்கு பெர்மிஷனும் குடுத்து, அவர் பாக்கேட்டிற்கும் safety பண்ணிக்கொண்டார். அனுமதி கிடைத்த மகிழ்ச்சியில் தலை கால் புரியாமல் ஆனேன். மறு நாள் மியூசிக் கிளாஸ் துவங்கும் வரையில் அதே ஞாபகம். ஒரே ஞாபகம்.

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அன்பான ரீடர் பொது மக்களே..

இன்னும் சொல்ல வந்த விஷயத்தையே ஆரம்பிக்கல!

'ஸ்ரீரங்கத்து தேவதைகள்'-ஐ ரிவைஸ் செய்ததன் வெளிப்பாடாக வந்த இந்த பதிவின் introduction-ஏ இழுத்துகிச்சு. படிக்க நீங்க இருக்கீங்க-ங்கற தைரியத்துல பெப்பரபேய்ங்-னு எழுதிகிட்டே போயிட்டேன்.

அடுத்த பகுதியில சுருக்கமா விஷயத்த சொல்லிடுரேனே, ப்ளீஸ்!!

Notes from an overgrown island - Part II

2011-01-11T12:05:00.000-08:00

Part 1 here.

Ok this time I am not going to ramble. Hoping to note my observations in some quick points:

Until I landed in this country, English spoken with the 'r's mauled beyond recognition was all "Foreign accent" to me. But now I think I have started distinguishing English accent from American. For starters, watch the "Byeeeeee" comedy scene in Baasha. That's the kind of bye everyone sings here. Every single time. Had NSYNC been an English boy-band, 'Bye Bye Bye' may have been set to Maya Malava Goula or Kaambodhi, for all you know. (To think of it, it's not just with 'Bye'. These people sing all courtesy phrases the same way - good morning / good evening / bye bye / etc)
In most places here, everything closes at 5 PM in the evening (except the pubs/bars/supermarkets). The whole place becomes very quiet after 6. Which indicates the amount of research that has gone into the making of this.
If you own a car, you would always worry about finding 1) a car park, and 2) a parking spot in the car park. It is an overwhelming worry that overwhelms you. Every time we plan a visit to some place, much of my intensive online research (which involves checking Google's first page results) revolves around locating convenient (and free) car parks. And finding a parking spot at office every morning is quite a worry for me. Whatever time I reach office, everyone seems to have gotten there before me. It's almost like they all have sync-ed their alarms to mine minus a few minutes. I remember reading an anecdote somewhere: about early-arrivers parking far from the building so that latecomers could find a nearer space and get to office quicker. That's effing bullshit. துண்டு போட்டு எடம் புடிக்காத கொறை. (The missus often suggests leaving the stepney behind to hold the space for the next day)
Graffiti seems commonplace along the rail routes here. But I haven't found any posters of SRMU Kannayyan yet. (Or maybe I haven't seen well enough yet)
The other day I looked out from home to find someone cleaning the bushes outside patiently over a few hours. I had almost offered him பழைய சோறு and சொம்புல தண்ணி when I realized it was my landlord. Do-It-Yourself is such a popular concept here. Primarily because labour is very expensive. We once had to get a locksmith over. He charged 45 pounds for a 10-min job, ending up making me question my career choices. Imagine - 45 pounds! For a 10-min job! In Indian Rupees that's, well, 45 x 70 (sorry, am lazy). So it's not surprising to find people here doing everything by themselves - washing, ironing, cleaning, gardening, growing fat etc.
Indian food is very common here. And 'parcel' shops are called Takeaways. Most takeaways here are Authentic Indian Takeaways run by Bangladeshis and Pakistanis. So you get more types of Indian food that you get in India. I hadn't heard of Rogan Josh back at home - but it's possible that it may be popular outside of the South. But am bleddy sure there is no such thing as Madras Curry even in Madras. And the natives here perform anthar-baltis for the Chicken Balti - it's too popular here.
On a serious note - one stunning feature of this country is the independence with which disabled and the elderly lead their lives. A colleague at office is blind - and he is able to do everything by himself! He uses his mobile phone, comes by bus and whatnot! His guide dog is the only being whom we takes support from. Another colleague is wheelchair-ridden, but comes by a special car which she can wheel into and start driving! And the elderly here have to be seen to be believed - the way they live on their own, carry out all their travelling / weekly shopping / etc without any support whatsoever. Once when I offered to help carry bags for a very frail old lady, she smiled in response over her pain, and took time and effort to say: "I am fine, thanks all the same", when it was utterly clear that she was not fine at all. Phew.
And while on the topic of disabled-friendliness - even movie halls are so! Special shows are run with subtitles for the deaf; and there are "Audio Described" performances for the blind - a voice overlay would narrate the visual scenes of the movie as things happen. Check this sample from 00:18. (Now let your imagination run wild and let me know in the comments section, how you would audio-describe this video! You may want to start with a note on grizzly bears, maybe?)

So well, that's that!! Bye byeeeeeee...

Notes from an overgrown island - Part I

2010-11-21T13:44:00.000-08:00

Hiya there!

Ya I know - I have not been posting much since my landing in this country. Been planning to post something about my first views of the place for about 3 months now. But you know how it is with blogs - you always wish to post something, and you keep delaying, and before you know it, you keep delaying even further.

As is customary with any blogger who has shifted base to a new location, I shall now pretend possessing total knowledge of everything about the place I am in and deliver verdicts with the apathy of those suited reviewers on Sun TV movie reviews.

So this is my FIR about my experiences in England. Or United Kingdom. Or Great Britain. Or whatever else this place is called. Trust me, I don't think many natives here know the difference between UK and GB. Being a consultant, I had to illuminate a Brit friend here with that knowledge (that I myself had acquired from Wiki) to get "Oh is that so? Never knew that. Thanks!" for a response. God promise!

In the months I have been here, my biggest learnings have been about the social customs of the place.

Being polite to others is a way of life here. I suspect if they don't perform any act of kindness to others in a day, they'll end up with digestion problems in the night. The most common 'act' you will find here is - opening doors for others.

Back home, opening a door was a simple process.

1. Reach the door

2. Open

3. Exit

Here, people have a fairly elaborate procedure for this.

1. Reach the door

2. Open

3. Wait like a sentry until someone else turns up

4. Then smile at them, and say 'After you'

5. They will smile back at you and insist that you go first

6. Smile, shrug, and go over to the other side

7. Then hold the door open for the other to pass through

8. Say "Cheers" and leave (not "What ho" or "Pip pip" or any of that stuff you read on PG Wodehouse)

I have had some fairly interesting experiences with this protocol.

Once after an unduly long meeting, I had to rush to the restroom (don't snigger, grow up). As I reached for the door and opened it in a hurry, I saw that it lead to a small passage with another door at the other end. And as providence would have it, at exactly the same moment, someone opened the other door from the other side. I know this might sound confusing, so I have taken the pains to draw out this complex graphic for you:

I guess you got the point now - there were two of us standing at the two ends of the passage, each holding a door open for the other. Remember multi-threading deadlocks? Exactly that. The atmosphere was tense. The air was crisp. Sweat covered both of our foreheads. Our brains were trying to work a way out of this stalemate. Furrowed brows. (But still, smiles on the lips). After a volley of "After you"s from both of us, we made a mutual decision to 'do it' in sync. Falling just short of counting to 3, we left our doors and lunged to reach the other door at the same time.

And we succeeded.

As the other guy heaved a huge sigh of relief and turned back to smile one more time at me, I had already rushed in to reduce my weight by a few grams.

Then there was the time when another complex situation arose cos' of this protocol.

I was just reaching the entrance to my office and was about to push the door open, when it opened by itself. There was a man on the other side wanting to get through. As I smiled and stepped aside saying "After you", he smiled and stepped aside saying "After you". And a lady joined in from his side, also wanting to get out. That's 3 people trying to get through 2 ways of 1 door. If that wasnt complex enough, add in the "After you"s and the fact that 1 of the 3 is a lady, you get a potboiler.

Eventually we guys somehow sorted it out and went on our paths relieved, but confused if we had followed the right protocol. And no - I don't remember how we really got ourselves out of the tangle.

But I had learned an important lesson that I have been putting to good use ever since - now if ever it looks like I would be reaching a door at the same time as someone else, I would dish out my phone with nonchalance, move away from the door with nonchalance, and nonchalantly start speaking on the phone until the moment of embarrassment passes by.

Yet another social custom I took some time adjusting to is: the greeting. On my second day at my client's office here, as I reached my seat, my neighbour looked at me, smiled, and asked "Are you alright?". I froze in my tracks, and wiped my face, checked my hair and de-creased my shirt and responded to him with a very doubtful "Well.. Yeah.. But.. Why?". By the time I managed to say all that, he had turned away. The incident affected my balance - was something wrong with me that I didnt know about? Shortly, I rushed to the restroom and checked in the mirror. Everything seemed fine. Perplexed, I returned back a confused man. It was much later that day that I realized that this was the standard greeting here; their means of saying "How are you?". And it is meant to be responded with "Not bad". Felt like an idiot when I learned that.

Again, I did not make any of this up.

To be continued (hopefully)...

Endhiran: Movie Review!

2010-09-30T17:23:00.000-07:00

As a kid I was mad about Rajini. God knows what I liked about him, but I used to be a die-hard fan.

20 years later, after DAV, PSG and IIMB, I am still the same. If only more in awe of the man for his reach across A, B and C centres.

Literally couldn’t focus on work at office the whole day! All my thoughts were about this movie that I had booked tickets for. With the added excitement that I had no feelers about how good the movie was (except that lone indiaglitz article that I did not really trust). And the additional excitement that I would be helping to form public opinion on something for the first ever time in the history of my blog :P Ulaga laptop-galil mudhal muraiyaaga....

As I type this, am just settling down after all the euphoria.

The movie was brilliant stuff.

Of the kind never seen before in Tamil film history.

It sure takes production standards to a totally different plane!!

Frankly, after Sivaji, I was quite ‘worried’ about Endhiran. I did like watching Sivaji, but somehow I felt it lacked a certain something that defines any Rajini/Shankar movie. Was quite disappointed. And I couldn’t bring myself to believe that this was going to be better. I knew this would be entertaining; but would it be a movie that I would like to watch in 2025? Or would I still have to stick to Baasha to up the spirits? THAT was my concern.

Now, having watched Endhiran, I should agree am a trifle disappointed. No typical Thalaivar stuff. No entry song. No ‘mass’ signature tune. No punch dialogs. And an extremely simple opening scene (I had a more gethu opening scene in my marriage video)!! In fact, the audience was largely silent through out the movie. None of the euphoria one would expect from Tamil-movie-hungry audiences getting to watch a thalaivar padam FDFS in faraway land. In fact, the whole mass of people moved out in silence after the movie.

But I just loved the movie.

This was a great Shankar film; not so much a Rajini one. After the movie spoof that was Sivaji, this was like the good ol’ days – a usual Shankar movie with all the right ingredients. (Maybe lot lesser comedy than is conventional, but it still makes the cut). Welcome back, Shankar!

Any review is supposed to have spoilers in the form of a story brief. Here goes:

Dr Vaseegaran (Chandran Rajini) creates Chitti robot (Indiran Rajini) – the most human adro humanoid ever made. His aim is to get the army to use the robot to avoid human losses in war. In an attempt to make Chitti understand the importance of human life, Vaseegaran injects peelings into the robot, who then promptly falls for Vaseegaran’s daavu (Aish). Soon comes by evil Doctor who injects powers of destruction into Chitti and refurbishes him into Chitti v2.0. Then comes the standoff between Vaseegaran and the immensely powerful robot he himself unleashed on the world. Who wins in the end and how, forms the rest of the story.

End of Spoiler.

I generally am not a big fan of Aishwarya Rai. I never find her gelling with the character she dons. She ALWAYS appears like Aishwarya Rai the beauty queen who endorses numerous products like Pepsi, Nakshatra and Abhishek Bachchan. She always seems to carry around a halo that says “Ok, am supposed to be stuck with ruffians in the middle of nowhere, up some mountain that has a geographical identity crisis, but I have none; I know am THE Aishwarya Rai. You may go.” In this context, I always felt hurt and couldn’t understand why Thalaivar was hell bent on casting her in his movies. Especially when she has always spurned his offers.

(My theory is that this is Thalaivar’s way of putting an end to the age old ‘Amitabh Vs Rajini’ argument.

Amitabh: Mere paas North hai. East hai. West hai. Central hai. IIFA hai. Blog hai. Tere paas kya hai?

Rajini: Aishwarya Rai ke saath movie hai. Hey hey he he he. You can never hope for that now)

Anyway, I digress. The fact of the matter is, I hate Aish.

But I have to admit, she was just perfect for this role. Had any other heroine been cast in a character that is supposed to make a robot fall in love, it would have been hard to believe. For once, I give her some credit. Also, she looks sizzling hot in some songs.

Don’t have much to say about the music – didn’t really notice it in the movie, but the songs were all great and picturized well. ‘Kilimanjaro’ was top-class for the location, music and costumes. Would like to watch it on the big screen again!

As the scenes unravelled one after the other and one realized that this was a full-blooded sci-fi in Tamil, one realizes how Sujatha must have added strength with his presence in the team. We do not know how much he has exactly contributed to the movie, but I feel this is a great farewell movie for him. Typical Sujatha stuff.

And I just adored the stunts! Especially the ones in the first half with Chitti v1.0. Am sure the stunts were performed by Peter Hein and Rajini’s face was morphed in. But I care a damn. It sure looked good. And credible too, as it was Chitti and not Vaseegaran who was performing them. Good stuff!

These days it’s become fashionable to hail movies for the production cost. Every now and then some movie comes up, that’s supposed to be the most expensive movie made in this side of the planet. When Endhiran was credited to be that, I didn’t really give it a thought initially. But now I agree. The money and effort showed on the screen. And for once it didn’t seem like superfluous spending.

Graphics itself would have cost fortunes. Am sure the quality of CG in the movie was comparable to any recent Hollywood fare. Of course there were a couple of ‘Aayirathil Oruvan’ style comedy cartoons too. But they were just that – a couple. The rest were all incredibly credible and life like. Hats off for the effort!

Mattha ellaattha patthiyum paesiten. Now moving to the point.

Pinnittaaru. Pattaya kelappittaaru.

The thing with Rajini is, he may never give a Kamal-like performance where his histrionics set the screen on fire. But he is an amazzzzzzing actor all the same. All the hype about his style makes one overlook his acting skills.

But everyone will take note, in this movie.

He more than adequately differentiates between Vaseegaran and Chitti v1.0.

And Chitti v2.0 was terrifyingly terrific!!!! Seemed like an encore of Vettaya Raja. Ennaaaa oru villaththanam! My most favourite role in the movie is Chitti v2.0 for the pure ‘Rajini’ness. Awesome stuff. Sometimes I feel Rajini’s Superstar image has taken away an excellent villain from the industry.

Chitti v1.0 was likeable. When I saw the promos, I thought he looked like a uricha kozhi (much like I do now). But as the movie unfurled, one starts liking the way Chitti looks. Young and refreshing. And he does ‘feel’ different too – an evidence of Rajini’s subtle but excellent acting skills. And it was good to watch him do all those stunts and perform those dances. The graphics was wonderful - didn't feel artificial at all (largely).

Vaseegaran was fine as well. But nothing much to say about the character. Usual stuff.

But the icing on the cake was the pleasure of watching 100s of Rajinis fill the screen in the second half, led by Chitti v2.0. 7 pounds worth for sure!

In all, Rajini bears a movie on his shoulders, yet again.

Bottom line: Superb Shankar movie. Interesting story line. International class Indian movie. Chandramukhi kinda character for Rajini – less of style and more of content initially, and a negative shade towards the end.

MUST WATCH.

Now I MUST SLEEP.

----- UPDATE -----
Watched the movie a second time on day 2 :) Some notes:
- There are a couple of signature tunes in the movie.. for the two chitti versions..
- There is a wee bit of mass entry for both the chittis.. Not usual thalaivar level.. but something at least..
- Chitti v2.0 was all the more exciting in the second run, cos I knew what was coming.. So right from his entry, it was andrenalin-pumping..
- Most favo scene from the movie: the black sheep scene!!! Terrorrrr!!
- Chitti v2.0's laugh has to be seen to be believed. Nakkalaana oru kodoora kaara sirippu..
- Arima Arima rocked on the screen.. Wasnt a big fan of the song before watchin the movie.. But on screen Rajini adds so much power to the song.. And ARR's music fits the situation like a glove!
- Didnt realize Arima Arima was sung by Hariharan!! Superb effort..
- For the first time in decades, the 'SUPER STAR RAJNI' graphics had poor background music :( :( Feeling let down by ARR!!
- Dialogs sparkle in many places.. "Unakku unarvugal oru arivaa than kodukka patturukku".. Whattay!

Kurichi, Karuppan and Pullai

2010-07-23T07:20:00.000-07:00

(Read http://www.ndtv.com/article/india/krishna-to-ndtv-on-pillai-controversy-transcript-38841 first)

In an exclusive interview to VTTV, India's External Affairs Minister Mr SM Karuppan (name changed to protect identity) spoke about the recent Kurichi-Pullai episode to our chief correspondent Ms. P. Butt.

Excerpts from the interview:

VTTV: Good evening Mr Karuppan. The last few days must have been really tough on you?

SMK: Good evening Ms PainInTha Butt. And what tough? All channels showing me only. Yaeeee! Finally I overtook my பேத்தி Ramya in the popular-most-in-the-family polls.

VTTV: He he. That's a very positive way of looking at this Mr Karuppan, and we are indeed glad that you are able to do this to keep your spirits up. Anyway, as the talks started, it became quite clear that they will go on for longer than planned. Tell us - why did the discussions go for so long?

SMK: When you keep talking in an atmosphere of friendship, in an atmosphere of trust, then there is naturally a tendency to prolong the discussions.

VTTV: I repeat - tell us - why did the discussions go for so long?

SMK: I thought I just answered that.

VTTV: Well then, think again.

SMK: விட மாட்டே போலிருக்கு? Ok I will say the truth. Everytime they said something, I had to call up MumMohan. Who had to call up Sonyeah. Who had to call up Congress Customer Care comprising Karmanidhi and a host of (பெருச்) allies. Plus if am right, Ampani was also involved in the loop somewhere. It is not an easy task for so many people to reach a concensus and send across a decision. Often by the time they could do that, the Pakis had done 2-3 namaas.

VTTV: But it wasn't unpleasant during the talks?

SMK: Not at all, not at all!

VTTV: Looks like your problems started right there - maybe you weren't really paying attention to the discussions. முன்னூறு camera and mic இருக்கும் போதே அந்த ஆளு அப்டி பேசினான். யாரும் இல்லாதப்போ bad words-லயே திட்டிருப்பான்.

SMK: As long as talks went on, it went off very well without any rancour and again in the press conference there was no rancour exhibited.

VTTV: No rancour exhibited aa? எங்கள எல்லாம் என்ன சொம்பை னு நெனச்சுட்டியா? யோவ்! அந்த ஆளு நாக்குல நரம்பில்லாம பேசிருக்கான்.. நீயும் முதுகுல எலும்பில்லாம கேட்டுட்டு வந்துருக்கே.. கேட்டா, ஒண்ணும் நடக்காத மாதிரி நடிக்குறே?

SMK: Let me clarify. The point that Mr Kurichi was trying to make - to draw a comparison between Hafiz Saeed and Home Secretary Mr Pullai - I think, that was the most ridiculous statement that one could hear of.

VTTV: இங்க வந்து நொட்டு.. Press conference-ல அந்த ஆளு பேசும் போது அசமஞ்சம் மாதிரி உக்காந்து கேட்டுட்டு இருந்தே?

SMK: மாமா நா ஒண்ணு சொல்லட்டுமா? கேள்வி கேக்குறது எவ்ளோ easy தெரியுமா? பதில் சொல்லி பாத்தா தானே அந்த கஷ்டம் தெரியும்.

VTTV: Now you are becoming more frank. We like it. Do you believe that you went in to the talks handicapped, with your hands tied behind your back, because the Home Secretary had made the Headley interrogation report public the very morning that you were leaving for Islamabad?

SMK: அம்மா சத்தியமா that is the reason why I didn't support him! Didn't want to tell, but you pulled the words out of my mouthu. அவன் அவன் பயத்தோட அண்டை நாட்டுக்கு போகும் போது, அத support பண்றது தானே ஒரு Home Secretary-கு அழகு? அத விட்டுட்டு இப்டி கலவரம் தூண்டுற மாதிரி comment அடிச்சு, ஏற்கனவே கொழம்பி இருக்குற relationship-ல குச்சிய விட்டு ஆட்டுனா, நாங்கல்லாம் நாக்கு வழிக்குறதா? அங்க போயிட்டு உயிரோட திரும்பி வர வேணா? Raascolu.

VTTV: So you did not find Kurichi's comments offensive?

SMK: Offensive aa? If Kurichi hadn't said that, I would have done so myself. In fact, when Kurichi made that statement, I was mentally rehearsing the exact words to use. That is why when Kurichi made that comment...

VTTV: ...you did not respond?

SMK: ...I did not clap, whistle and prance around.

VTTV: Err... Ok. Anyway, at this stage, I need to ask you a question that might get a bit personal. Hope you wouldn't mind. There is some speculation going on in politically-informed circles that you and Mr Kurichi are brothers. Half-brothers possibly.. And..

SMK: What! This is ridiculous! It can't be so. What proof do you have?

VTTV: What're your initials?

SMK: SM

VTTV: Kurichi's?

SMK: ஆஹா அப்டி போகுதா matteru?

VTTV: Matteru அப்டி போயிருச்சோ னு தான் எங்களுக்கு லாம் சந்தேகம். குறிப்பா சுப்ரமணிய சுவாமிக்கு ரொம்ப சந்தேகம். He contends that this is the sentimental reason why you have asked for and got the External Affairs portfolio.

SMK: ஆகா Room போட்டு யோசிப்பாங்களோ?

VTTV: These kinds of comments are not helping your case.

SMK: Right விடு. Even if what you are saying is true, I am the legal heir.

VTTV: That also has been reported by Mr Swamy. He alleges that கள்ளகுறிச்சி is actually named after your கள்ள-brother Kurichi.

SMK: இது ஆவுறதுக்கில்ல. Escaaaapeeeee.

It's all about the money

2010-07-07T07:05:00.000-07:00

(Apologies for the long-ish post. The happening meant a lot to me. Hence the long-winded post)

The 3^rd of July in 2006 was the day I entered the Indian workforce. For the first time.

It was a symbol of growing up of sorts.

I would be staying in a PG then on. I would wear a tag with my photo and name on it. I would start using Outlook and use email for non-forward purposes. I would be dining ‘outside’ every single meal. Mostly at one of the dharshinis that gave idly-vada for 15 bucks in the mornings, and roti-curry for 15 at nights. I would have a CUG sim, with a postpaid connection. And a credit card, very soon.

It was a symbol of growing up of sorts.

That was the overwhelming feeling amongst most of my roommates. There were 4 of us sharing a room in a PG. All of us were from PSG, and for at least 3 of us, the prospects of getting more than 3 digits of money at one time seemed supernatural. It was something that had never happened to us in the past. Something we could never bring ourselves to believe for the future too. Yet it was real. As real as the appointment letter in our hands.

After all the settling down during the first week of orientation, and the PG hunting then on, we got into a groove. Slowly things began to look normal. What seemed to be too much of a privilege earlier, soon became regular stuff. The ID card went into the shirt pocket – it had become a nuisance that got in one’s way when bending to wash hands at the food court. Outlook was just a tool to check mail and keep reminders, and wasn’t anywhere near gmail in being cool. And dining ‘outside’ did not carry the same sense of exhilaration one had in college or in school days; it was everyday stuff. Three-times-everyday stuff, actually.

But the prospects of earning money – one’s own money – still seemed supernatural. Payday was still a few weeks away.

Every time we met some project manager or business leader, we used to guesstimate their salaries and wonder when we would reach that level. So also every time we saw someone drive out in a car. Any car.

As the month went by, we slowly got more and more excited about payday. We diligently logged into our ICICI web accounts every day, even if only to stare at zero balance. As days passed, the zero seemed to become more valuable.

As that happened, our pockets got slimmer too. We had all got some grace money from home to manage during the first month of working. Despite choosing the smallest of dharshinis, and avoiding snacks of all sorts, and using the bus and only the bus for travel, the bounty seemed to be getting thin rather fast. And the advance amount for the PG dealt a big blow very early on. So as the end-of-month drew closer, we were witness to a very spirited race – between the emptying of our pockets, and the filling up of our accounts with money as we had never known before. And we wouldn’t hear of asking for money from home. We were employed after all. It was just a matter of managing the month.

We learnt from some friends who had joined earlier that salary was unfailingly delivered to the account on the last working day of the month. July 31^st was a Monday. Drats! If the calendar had been earlier by a day, I would have received my pay on Friday itself. Now one would have to coast across the weekend to see the non-zero account balance. For the first ever time in one’s life.

Monday the 31^st found us trio very pensive. (The 4^th guy being an NRI offspring, was well endowed and wasn’t bothered so much about it all. And he would have helped us had we asked. But for some reason, we didn’t). Anyway, the whole of that Monday, all three of us needed no excuses to login into the online account, and to rush to the ATM (just in case the online database was slightly outdated). We had gathered that one would receive an SMS when ‘it’ happened. But who knows how trustworthy the connections were. Maybe ‘it’ had happened, but the system was slow on sending out SMSes? Who knows.

So we kept checking our accounts eleventy-eleven times that day. Soon it was time for the buses to start back from office. And still no signs of money. Or an SMS. We went home in silence that day. How could they be wrong? They have been drawing salaries for so many months now. How could they not know?

We reached our room and changed by 7. And were about to start for dinner, when LSK came to me and said “டேய் நண்பா.. காப்பாத்து டா.. என் கிட்ட பத்து ரூவா தான் இருக்கு.. உன் கிட்ட extra அஞ்சு ரூபா இருக்கு ல?”

“அஞ்சு ரூபாயா? திடீர்னு அவ்ளோ காசு கேட்டா நா எங்க போறது? என்கிட்டயே மூணு ரூபா தான் இருக்கு.. நானே உன்ன நம்பி ல இருந்தேன்?”

We both then slowly turned to look at EV, apprehensive about his response..

“என்னங்க டா முழிக்குறீங்க?”

“மச்சி.. உன் கிட்ட எவ்ளோ காசு இருக்கு?”

“கம்மியா தான் டா இருக்கு..”

“எவ்ளோ னு சொல்லு டா மூதேவி”

He opened his purse and started counting a few notes and coins..

“நாப்பத்து அஞ்சு ரூபா இருக்கு”

“Yabbbaaaaadiii.. நண்பன் போட்ட சோறு.. நிதமும் தின்பேன் பாரு!”

“என்னங்க டா பாடுறீங்க? என்ன விஷயம்?”

"ஒண்ணும் இல்ல மச்சி.. வா போலாம்..”

Thus, he sponsored our dinner that night which was promptly entered in our common book of accounts..

On the way back, one of us spotted an ATM.

“மச்சீ.. அங்க பாருங்க டா.. ATMu..”

We rushed there.. I reached first, and put in my card..

And punched in my PIN..

Selected Balance Enquiry..

Then Savings..

And waited with bated breath..

In a couple of seconds, the machine said “0.00”, followed by an unhelpful and humiliating “Do you want to continue?”..

Deflated totally, we went back to the room and crashed for the night hoping for a better tomorrow..

The next morning, all of us kept checking our phones for any SMS every 10 minutes as we got ready.. Soon it was time for the bus.. We travelled in silence the whole 20 minutes it took to reach our office on Mysore Road.. We were quite grumpy in mood.. So much when someone stomped on a friend’s foot in the pathway, he started with “ஓத்..”

Only to be silenced by the other 2 of us “Shhh.. மூட்றா மயிராண்டி.. இன்னும் சம்பளம் வராம இருந்தா அவன் கிட்ட தான் கடன் கேக்கணும்.. மூடிட்டு வா.. அய்யாவுக்கு ஒரு good morning சொல்லி வை”..

“Hmmm.. நம்ம கிட்ட எவ்ளோ டா இருக்கு இப்போ?”

“உன் கிட்ட பத்து.. என் கிட்ட மூணு.. இவன் கிட்ட சூன்யம்.. மொத்தம் பதிமூணு.. நீதான் இருக்குறதுலே பணக்காரன்”

“மூணு வடை வாங்குறதுக்கு கூட ரெண்டு ரூபா கொறயுதே..”

“…”

Soon we were in office.. we got down in pin drop silence and moved towards the ATM without sharing a word.. As we entered, LSK said “இரு டா.. இந்த வாட்டி நா check பண்ணி பாக்குறேன்”.. I moved aside..

He put in his card..

Punched in his pin..

Selected Balance Enquiry..

Then Savings..

The machine took a second to process, before displaying

“Rs. 13,129”

In big bold letters.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! We were rich.

Or at least, we could afford our next meal ourselves!!

“Daiiiiii.. விடுங்க டா.. என் காலை மிதிச்ச அந்த நாய தேடி புடிச்சு நாக்கு புடுங்கிட்டு வர்றேன்.. யாரு கிட்ட!”

“அத விடு மச்சி.. மொதல்ல withdraw பண்ணு.. போய் சாப்டுவோம்..”

“டேய் அந்த பில்டிங் என்ன வெலை?? இந்த கார் என்ன வெலை?? Road-aa போட்டுருக்கானுங்க? தூ.. புதுசா போடா சொல்லு, காசு நான் தர்றேன்..”

Yapping our way to glory, we rushed to the food court with money. Our money.

And ate one vada more than usual.

While the happiness of earning one’s money was orgasmic, I had to keep my emotions under control. I saw myself more as a guardian of all that money. I had to save up for MBA. If in case I did succeed in getting into one of the IIMs, preferably IIMB, I would need that money. All of it. And more.

Two years later, IIMB decided to let me in.

Two years later, IIMB decided to let me out.

Sometime last week, I called up the missus one evening.

Me: “Hi..”

Missus: “Hi..”

“என்ன secret-aa பேசுறே? எங்க இருக்கே?”

“Hospital ல.. Navaneeth-க்கு அடி பட்டுருச்சு.. பாக்க வந்துருக்கோம்”

“Ohh.. எந்த hospital?”

“Ramakrishna”

“Hospital என்ன வெலை?”

Kavidhai Kavidhai.. Padi!

2010-06-30T02:15:00.001-07:00

I am a very passive listener of songs. In the sense that I never pay attention to the lyrics. Not that I don't want to. But I just don't (manufacturing defect).

So on those rare occasions when I actually listen to the lyrics by some luck, I get stunned sometimes. And mostly I find that's when Vairamuthu has penned the lyrics.

(Ok frankly, I cant differentiate Vairamuthu from Vaali or anybody else. But just thought that last sentence will make me look intellectually more adequate.)

This is a listing of some immortal lines from Tamil film music that have attracted me.

Usure Pogudhey (Raavanan)

This has been my most recent favorite. When I heard the song the first time, kinda understood the chichuvaesun. Rahman's music was a perfect fit to it. And the lyrics were even better! Especially the lines:

இந்த உலகத்தில் இது ஒண்ணும் புதுசில்ல

ஒண்ணு ரெண்டு தப்பிப் போகும் ஒழுக்கத்தில

விதி சொல்லி வழி போட்டான் மனுச புள்ள

விதி விலக்கில்லாத விதியும் இல்ல

Amazing fit to the scene. The words of consolation one tells oneself when he knows he is doing something not-so-right. Top class!

Nenjukkul Peidhidum (Vaaranam Aayiram)

Am sure you would have guessed the lines am about to quote.

என்னோடு வா வீடு வரைக்கும்

என் வீட்டைப் பார், என்னை பிடிக்கும்

What concept ma!

Kadhal Vandhaal Solli Anuppu (Iyarkai)

Lilting music, and very contextual lyrics set this song apart. There are a couple of lines that I love the most:

காதல் வந்தால் சொல்லி அனுப்பு

உயிரோடு இருந்தால் வருகிறேன்

....

கண்ணீர் கலந்து கண்ணீர் கலந்து

கடல் நீர் மட்டம் கூடுதடி

Ilaya Nila Pozhigiradhey (Payanangal Mudivadhillai)

This is an evergreen song that has takers everywhere. SPB's golden voice makes the song an irresistible ear-worm every single time!

முகிலினங்கள் அலைகிறதே முகவரிகள் தொலைந்தனவோ?

முகவரிகள் தவறியதால் அழுதிடுமோ அது மழையோ!

Sakka!

Sangeetha Jaadhimullai (Kadhal Oviyam)

This movie is entirely made up of gems. Every time I hear this song particularly, I wish I had learnt carnatic music!

விழி இல்லை எனும்போது வழி கொடுத்தாய்

விழி வந்த பின்னால் ஏன் சிறகொடித்தாய்?

Naetru Illaadha Maatram (Pudhiya Mugam)

One of those ARR classics which make you wonder why his music sounds so different these days (pre and post-VTV)!

கவிதை வரியின் சுவை அர்த்தம் புரியும் வரை

கங்கை நீரின் சுவை கடலில் சேரும் வரை

காதல் சுவை ஒன்று தானே காற்று வீசும் வரை

Pachai Nirame (Alaipayuthey)

He he.. Indha paattu illaama epdinga? Tops the list of my all time favorites. Vandhu patthu varusham aachu. Innikkum every single time this song is played, I drown myself in the meejic. This song can be a text book / reference for lyricists / music directors / cinematographers / what not! It's a perfect coming together of highly skilled technicians.

While all color references are enthralling, I particularly love the ones to Red:

கிளையில் காணும் கிளியின் மூக்கு.. விடலைப் பெண்ணின் வெற்றிலை நாக்கு..

புத்தம் புதிதாய் (இ)ரத்த ரோஜா.. பூமி தொடா பிள்ளையின் பாதம்..

எல்லா சிவப்பும் உந்தன் கோபம்.. எல்லா சிவப்பும் உந்தன் கோபம்..

Thozhiya En Kadhaliya (Kadhalil Vizhundhen)

The lyrics to this song are not very classy or sophisticated. They are simple, and make total sense to someone who has been in that stage!! :)

தோழியா என் காதலியா யாரடி என் கண்ணே

மடி மீது தூங்க சொல்கிறாய்

தோள் மீது சாய்ந்து கொள்கிறாய்

நெருங்கி வந்தால் நண்பன் என்கிறாய்

ஓ ஓ பெண்ணே

(Though I should confess, நாக்க முக்க came a close second to this song!)

Nenjil jil jil (Kannathil Muthamittaal)

This is one hell of an emotional package. The lyricist has gone all out in establishing the dichotomy in the mind of the parent. Marvellous, machi!

எனது செல்வம் நீ.. எனது வறுமை நீ..

இழைத்த கவிதை நீ.. எழுத்து பிழையும் நீ..

இரவல் வெளிச்சம் நீ.. இரவின் கண்ணீர் நீ..

எனது வானம் நீ.. இழந்த சிறகும் நீ..

நான் தூக்கி வளர்த்த துயரம் நீ..

Sir-ku oru award parcelllll..

Kannae Kalaimaanae (Moondram Pirai)

I watched this movie only a year back. And duly fell in love with Balu Mahendra's style of cinematography. Not too big a fan of his style of direction - I find it very depressing. But his cinematography was top-class! incredible, the way he created magic with the technologies of the 80's! On to the lyrics..

ஊமை என்றால் ஒரு வகை அமைதி..

ஏழை என்றால் அதில் ஒரு அமைதி..

Senthaazham Poovil (Mullum Malarum)

Had always liked this song for the tune. One of the standard parts of the numerous kachheris we subjected IIMB to in the past year. Lyrics-a ippo recent-aa than gavanichen. Arumai! The whole song is a metaphor, as in looking at nature as a lady (as against the usual beaten path of looking at ladies as nature).

பள்ளம் சிலர் உள்ளம் என ஏன் படைத்தான் ஆண்டவன்..

பட்டம் தர தேடுகின்றேன், எங்கே அந்த நாயகன்..

Mandram Vandha (Mouna Raagam)

IMHO, MR is the type of movie that Mani Ratnam should stick to. Mandram vandha is a jewel from this movie. Be it the voice.. the visuals.. or the lyrics..

தாமரை மேலே நீர்த்துளி போல் தலைவனும் தலைவியும் வாழ்வதென்ன?

நண்பர்கள் போலே வாழ்வதற்கு, மாலையும் மேளமும் தேவையென்ன?

...

மேடையைப் போலே வாழ்கை அல்ல.. நாடகம் ஆனதும் விலகிச் செல்ல!

So that's the list from the top of my mind. There are scores more of such songs/lyrics, but these are some that sprang immediately.

And surprisingly what do I find?

7 of these 12 songs are by Vairamuthu!!

2 each by Thamarai and Kannadaasan.. And 1 by Wall-e..

I still can't differentiate Vairamuthu from the rest, but I have newfound respect for him! (Not that he would care)

Anyway, off the screen, my favorite tamil poets are 3 of my friends!

"காதல் - நீயும் நீ சார்ந்த இடமும்" என்றெழுதிய ரமணன்.. Am a big fan of his!

The other two are Neo and Kalai (if you are still visiting, give me your blog URL da!).

Keep writing folks!

Bite Joke

2010-06-29T05:01:00.000-07:00

Just got smothered by a slew of bite jokes from a friend. Couldn't resist putting some up here.

(Ok this one's common)

Name the only word with one 'g' and 4 't's?

Answer: oru-g-naalu-t (originality)

Ok you knew that. What about this:

Which is more intelligent: Circle or Square?

Answer: Square. Cos' it has naal-edge!

No no. அழக் கூடாது . More coming.

Which is more intelligent - Square or Octagon?

Answer: Octagon. Cos' it has extra naal-edge.

Haiyoooo haiyooo! இத எல்லாம் படிச்சுகிட்டு.. போய் புள்ளைங்கள படிக்க வைங்க.. போங்கய்யா!!

(Dis)Credits: ASO

Aggaaggaaa!

2010-06-23T23:15:00.000-07:00

It is after intense thought that am writing this post. I just unearthed a priceless piece of general knowledge. Or even wisdom, you may call it. And simply having it in my head is painful. I want to get it out.

Post rating: U / PG (Meaning, read only if U are alone, living in a PG. Veetla irundhaa padikkaadheenga)
(Ok, very seriously, this post has infinite direct allusions to a very popular and fulfilling Tamil swear word. If you are the kind who winces on hearing such words, you might have a seizure before you finish reading this post. Don't blame me later!)

Pollaadhavan is an amazing movie. I loved it when I watched it the first time. And the next few times as well. Maybe, going without expectations helped a lot. The movie gave me newfound respect for Dhanush and Vetrimaran.

Now the piece of wisdom I was speaking about is this: Pollaadhavan has been remade in Kannada. And the name of the movie is...

Adha naan epdi en kayyaale type pannuven! You go and find it out here yourself.

Shell shocked, I asked my Kandu friend here what the word meant (in Kannada). He said it's like naughty / mischievous / notorious guy.

Now am just wondering how the following dialogues will sound to a Tamilian when watching the movie (dialogs are written in Tamil for greater understanding, and fun):

***** = Name of the movie
---
Villain: Daiiiiiiii.. Yaarraaa neeeee???
Hero: Indha oor la chinna kozhandhaya kaettaalum sollum. Naan than da *****.
(Devi Sri Prasad Background music: dish dish dash dish.. ***** ***** *****... He's the one and only *****)
---
Hero: Hey darling.. Let's do the yo yo!!
Heroine: Cheee.. Naughty boy..
PMK Ramdas: Aeiiii.. Tamil la vasanam sollunga.. Illa na unga veettukku vandhu maram vettiruven..
Hero: Aamam saar.. Gardener rendu vaarama varala.. Pullu romba moLachuruchu.. Konjam clean panni kudunga please..
PMK Ramdas: Chellaadhu Chellaadhu.. Theerpa maatha maaten..
Hero: Ada evan da ivan.. Seri darling.. You repeat dialog in tamil..
Heroine: Cheee.. ***** payale
Sandiyar-fame Krishnasamy: Ketta vaarthai!! Dialog maathunga.. Padam paeru maathunga.. Neenga laam bad-word kalaachaaram ookuvikkureenga
Hero: Yov.. Ookkum vikkala, pencil-um vikkala.. Poi pozhappa paarungayya!
---
Hero: Assshooookkk.. Indha naaaaal... Un outlook calendar la kurichu vechuko... Unna naan nadu theruvukku kondu varala, en paeru ***** illa da!
Ashok: Machi venaam da. Nee paeru maathittaa padathula comedy quotient koranjurum. Please maintain same name. Naane middle of the road la ukkaandhukuren.
---
Hero: Avan solradha kaekka naa onnum kae-na pu-na vo moo-na koo-na vo illa.
Hero's Dad: Unakku paeru vechadhey naan than. En kittayae poi solriya? Raascolu..
---
Ward-boy: Doctor, hero-ku fight scene la adi patturuchu. Inga paarunga stretcher la vechurukom.
Doctor: My God! Ivlo bleeding varudhu.. Neenga ivara open la vechurukeenga.. *****-ya mooditu ponga modhalle
---
Climax Scene, again at hospital. Hero's wife gives birth to a boy. The whole family is happy and start discussing names for the kid. Hero finalizes the name:
Hero: Shuuuu.. No more discussions.. Ivan ennoda payyan.. So ivan paeru **** mavan

And the legacy continues...

Come Maadi Learn Maadi

2010-06-23T02:41:00.000-07:00

All you non-kandu buggers at Bangalore.. I know exactly how you feel when folks on the road give you directions that consist wholly of words like "aagbittu hogbidi.. periya bittu malabar beedi" and the like. So here's an effort to learn the basics of the language that will ensure survival in the city:

http://absolutegyan.blogspot.com/2010/06/kannada-kali.html

Movie Review: Singam

2010-06-18T01:55:00.000-07:00

Vanakkam machas and machis. Generally I don't write movie reviews cos' at one level I find that quite repulsive. It takes months and years of hard work to get one movie done, and eventually arm chair critics simply write stuff off as "flops". Must feel really painful for the creator to see his creation being torn to pieces by folks who do not even realize the amount of effort that has gone into the making of the film.

That is at one level.

Now I have realized that, at another level (viz. lower), I too feel writing reviews could be fun! So here's my first.

Singam is Director Hari's new offering, which is very novel in that the hero has been given a name that is usually given to his Dad or the kanakkupulla ("maths-kid", if it helps): Duraisingam.

Also, this is the only movie in Tamil film history in which the combined height index of the hero and heroine is 15 feet.
(Surya contributed 5 to this number, and Anushka's legs, an equal number)

The plot in brief: Surya is a Hamam police officer in a small town near Thoothukudi. Fate makes him cross paths with Prakashraj - a gang leader from Chennai. And they happily fight ever after.

The titles start with some funny graphics that one starts wondering whether Walt Disney is associated with the production in some way. As you smile through all the childishness, the movie starts at good speed right away.

This being a Hari movie, I was looking forward to the hero's entry. But when I saw Surya tearing open a Tata Sumo, my heart sank. Deep. Simbly twenty two much!

Ok, to be fair, while that particular 'concept' seemed utterly idiotic, Surya has done a great job in emoting his anger. In fact, all through the film, the stunts shone because of the life he breathed into them with his facial expression (eyes in particular), and body language. And considering that he had all of 5 feet of a body to communicate all this, salute! But for him, I think the stunts were a damp squib, largely. Indha padathula Air Deccan tharaila oorudhu, manushanga asaalta parakkuraanga. Stunt master Rocky Rajesh paera maathi Kaakka Rajesh nu vechukalaam (indha comedy evlo mokkaiyo, adha vida avan fightu mokkai). And Surya has a signature stunt in this movie: jumping up and slapping the opponents with outstreched palm/fingers. I mean, it had to be like that right. He had to jump up to reach them. And just when he is about to slap them, you would suddenly find cartoons on the screen with the
Lion king jumping up and down (I guess this is the part of the programme that is brought to us by Walt Disney).

As for Surya's expressions, not just anger, the entire gamut he let loose throughout the film were a treat to watch. One particular bit (of a scene) I liked was the way he thaws down when Anushka professes her love to him. Beginning with the stern morappu/veraippu with which he was scolding her, and moving on to confusion, and ending with some strains of vekkam. Respect, boss!

For once, the heroine had something to do in this film, instead of simply pulling off a Tamannah (read: dumb bimbo). Anushka's role has quiet some weight. What the heck, even otherwise, we wont really complain. Ssss habbbaaaa. Engirundhaai ivlo naala? Be it in Salwars during the scenes, or other bittu-thunis I donno the names of during the songs, she sizzles!! ("En idhayam idhayam" song still standing in my eyes wonly). Didn't notice whether she acted well or not, but her presence on screen was a PVR ticket's worth. Ava height-ukku easily she outruns the rowdies on more than one occasion. And it does not uruthufy your eyes (not as much as when Surya runs vigorously only to stay in the same place, and still catches up with the bad boys).

Prakashraj - a typical role written for him. Loads of loud dialogues and gesticulations, and hardly any ability to fight when it comes to the crunch. The way he ran carrying two daggers in the last scene, I really felt sorry for him. Looked like he was carrying two buckets of heavy water. And we've seen him in this kind of a role far too many times to be impressed any more. It's high time he changed his style of villainy.

I expected a lot of "Ya, take that!!" scenes that are typical of Hari's movies. Slight-aa disappointed on that front. There were a couple of them, but not too many. The best was when Prakashraj comes to Nallur to sign in the police station. The euphoria around that scene was my personal zenith in the movie. Esp the way Surya responds to Prakashraj's garjanai with a disrespectful "Thooo.. pozhappa ya idhu? Sign poattu kelambu". Whistlings and clappings!!
Yet another was the scene where he force-talks Nizhalgal Ravi his way out of the police station. Like like!
And the third was a sort of an anticlimax. That's the one doing the rounds in the trailers ("Nee singatha zoo la pathuruppe, TV la pathuruppe............ ondra ton weightu da paakuriya?"). I kinda liked the crescendo and was all set to scream, when the rest of the audience started laughing. Felt really bad. Esp cos' the last time I heard people laugh like this was in Chandramukhi for a scene where Prabhu asks Rajini in all earnestness "How unbearable is this, Mr Saravanan?". (Loose translation, mannikkavum. If someone can translate this better, do let me know!)
(BTW did you get that SMS spoof on this scene?? "Nee Engg student-a park la paathuruppe.. beach la paathuruppe.. hotel la paathuruppe.. coffee shop la paathuruppe.. amaidhiya class gavanichu paathurukkiya?? library la ukkaandhu book padichu paathurukkiya?? book eduthaa ondra ton weightu da.. paakuriya?? paakuriya??)

Vivek - just pass. Better than his other recent releases, but still lacks the old feel.

Music was enjoyable. Devi Sri Prasad's trademark happy-jolly type. Special appreciation to Shaan for singing "She stole my heart" with good Tamil pronunciation. Baba Sehgal's rendition of "Iduppu-hu kondai oosi, sirippu-hu window ac hoi" might earn him some brickbats at Senthamizh Maanadu, but it does sound enjoyable.

In all, it's a typical Vijay movie. What makes it watchable is that Vijay is actually not in the movie. Really surprising how one gets biased! Am sure the movie would have been torn apart had Vijay acted in it. Of course Surya has put in a lot of effort, and it shows. Still bias cant be ruled out.

Verdict: Singam. Seerum.
(Light-aa)
----------------------
Update: Thanks to Kitty, got this idea for giving verdicts:
Movie's worth: 75 Rs ticket, on a big screen movie hall (Bigger screens --> More Anushka on the screen --> More value for money.
Also, Surya looks taller on bigger screens.)

I am the back!

2010-06-10T23:35:00.000-07:00

Aaahhhh dandanakkaaaa.. Aaahhhh danakku nakka!!!

Usuroda than keeren machi's!!! After suffering from life at IIMB and the complete joblessness thereafter, I am back!!

(Ok this is the closest icon I could find that kinda indicates a historic return. My intelligently thought-up search terms ("back") took me to a lot of backside pictures (wink wink) that I don't like seeing.

in office.)

A lot has changed in the world since the last time I blogged (except my blog itself). For starters, my course at IIMB is done. And as a result I have been re-inducted into my family. Been enjoying loads of quality family time in the past couple of months. Felt so refreshing to be back in context at the home turf.

Other changes include:

Sis had come for a short visit from the US, and has gone back. Engirundhaalum vaazhga.

Shakira's waka waka is making people go okka makka.

I have joined work now in Bangalore, and am set to go to the UK shortly.

And most important of all: felt great to see 80 new comments when I logged into blogger today - stuff that had accumulated over the past few months of my inactivity. Developed a knot in my throat as I wondered how many people had missed my blog. But soon wanted to spit that knot out as most of those comments were earnest pleas to try out some new version of sildenafil citrate. Yaen da enna paathu indha kaelvi kaekuraanga! Why me, voh Gawd!

And the few other comments were all globe stuff. Like "This is the best resource on this subject I found on the net. God is great", followed as if on after-thought by "Also please visit my blog. God is double great!"

Anyway, with all those formalities done, am very happy now to get back on blogosphere. This does not mean I will declare the results of Lightwait or conclude my travelogue on Mauritius. Nor does it mean I will not do them.

Clear?

Me neither.

Still, the intent is to resume my typographic diarrhea with much greater regularity. As I become a responsible person contributing his might to the world's economy in the way all MBA grads do, I will need some non-home place to be myself. (No, I don't think vishfulthinking.com is home to me. Browser says "about: blank" is) So I hope to keep coming back to you folks soon, and renew old friendships!

The discerning reader would by now have started wondering about something intriguing I said in the previous passage: so how do MBA grads contribute to the economy?

I will tell you how.

By creating value.

Yes, we do that Sir. We do. Any book on management gyan would tell you this. Among all things we do, creating value is the most important.

It's not like we do nothing else. Of course we do a lot of other things. We delegate. We follow-up. We revert. We get back to you on this. We get involved in strategic roadmap planning. We use strategic, roadmap and planning as three different words. We give you insurance on someone else's house, and then slip you off our books too. We fill timesheets. We read blogs. No wait, am revealing a lot of personal things here. But hope you get the drift. We guys do a lot of work. But most important is creating value.

So I seek all your blessings and wishes as I embark on this journey called career in the twin fields of energy and environment.

If nothing else, I know I can at least contribute by raising the GHG emissions in the UK with all the CNG I would be emitting (Confused Natural Gyan).

Apart from creating value, that is.

----------------------------------

p.s.: Pardon the title. Have been reading too much of Prav Unplugged of late.

A Trip to Gopalaswamybetta, Bandipur and Mysore

2009-12-22T02:07:00.000-08:00

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The last weekend was an amazing time - took for a trip to the Mysore region with a gang of friends. Just after midnight, early Saturday morning, 7 of us (including self and the missus) trooped into a rickety old Qualis and made our way to Gopalaswamybetta.

We reached the hillock at around 7 am only to be treated to rib chilling cold and mist and fog! Some pics from the Godly place where mist hangs around till noon apparently!

We left Gopalaswamybetta at around 9 to move towards Bandipur. It was a pretty short drive, and within an hour we were at the gates of Country Club, Boshbetta. Some bargaining found us gaining an entry for 1500 rs per day per head for stay and food (against the regular charge of 2500 rs! Guess my course on negotiations has already started working in my innards). The resort was very well done with loads of things to do during a lazy holiday - from TT to carrom to swimming to snooker.

The rest of the day passed by without much activity - we just decided to take the early morning safari the next day and booked a Bolero camper for the trip.

On Sunday, we all tore ourselves from our beds, tired from sleeping late after useless chatter the previous night - little did we know what we were to be treated to that day! At around 7, our jeep set out from the resort. And pretty soon we were into our 'jungle safari' in an open top jeep. The first hour provided us some sights to settle down into the trip.

Then we spotted a jeep rushing towards the other side of the forest. On our catching up, the driver of that jeep informed us that a tiger had been spotted a short while ago near a watering hole. Excited to our bones, we rushed behind the jeep ourselves. In a couple of minutes, we were there, only to find 5 other jeeps waiting before us! But none had the clue to where the beast was and were simply trying their luck in hoping to spot the animal though it had been spotted more than half an hour ago. After going around the watering hole for a few minutes, we lost hope and went back to the other side of the forest to resume our safari in the direction we had planned. This time, we saw a few other beings.

As we kept moving on in the muddy path, our jeep screeched to a sudden halt. And this was the reason:

Our guide told us that the mark was fresh!! We then went on in the path and spotted the marks in a couple of other places. But the beast itself did not make its presence felt. After going around for 15 mins, we lost hope (again).

Our driver now took us back to the watering hole again. We were near the end of the 2.5 hour trip, and any moment he could declare the safari closed. But he wanted to check one last time before giving up. And this time, he took us deeper into the jungle where the path was covered with leaves - no other jeep had come there in a long time! And the reason was soon obvious - the path was very rough and had lots of bumps. But time went on, and we didn't spot anything even insignificant.

Jay got frustrated and declared "Even if a leopard comes now, don't wake me up. Am taking a nap".

As he said that, we were going on a rather rough patch at quite some speed. And our jeep jumped high up in the air. I was standing towards the front of the open top jeep, looking at the path ahead. As we jumped, I could see a bit beyond in the path.

What I saw caused a lump in my throat.

It seemed like a tiger was crossing the road - a couple of hundred metres away from us. None of the others (save Raghavan) had seen it cos they were all seated. And the tiger was beyond a huge hump in the road that blocked our vision. We could spot it for a second only cos' of the bump that we ran on. It was like a movie scene where the hero is introduced with some flashes of appearance!

Fighting to get the words out of my mouth, I bleated: "Heyyyyy.. Tiger..".. By then we had reached the hump on the road.

And everyone could see for themselves.

There was this shining yellow beast, loitering beneath a tree. 100 metres from us.

Pic Courtesy: KiKa

While I expected our jeep to stop dead, our driver raced faster than ever in the general direction of the tiger!!! He stopped on a sudden brake only after we reached right next to the big cat.

We all held on to dear life as the animal kept walking and staring at us in alternation for 2-3 full minutes.

Every time the tiger went past us, our driver would rev up the jeep and go right next to it. The tiger would pause and take a look at us hapless beings, and then move on. This happened half a dozen times!

I kept waiting for the perfect pose and perfect shot of the tiger.. While my 10x zoom did help (and was probably not even needed for the animal was just 15 feet away), I couldn't get into the right position for a good click.

Finally, the last full pic I took of the tiger was along the lines of what I wanted to click.

As I yearned for more front-on shots of him, the tiger slowly got into the thicket, not to be seen again.

Here's the full video :)

There are only 17 tigers in the whole of the national park. And it's a hugeeeeee expanse. We were really lucky to spot this one!

Few experiences get me excited in life. This was one.

Dazed by the whole thing, we rushed back to the resort to gobble down breakfast, spotting this tamed pachyderm on the way.

On the way back, we stopped over at Mysore briefly to catch the lighting thing at the palace.

The video below captures the exact moment when the serial lights are turned on. Thanks to KiKa for this video!

Hitchcock Rocks!

2009-12-17T21:54:00.001-08:00

Have been watching Hitchcock movies in the last couple of days and have fallen in love with the man's style!

Psycho was the first one I watched. Though I kinda guessed the plot half way through, there were some elements in the movie that kept me doubtful until the end. Can guess what kind of a rage this movie must have been in 1960 when it was released. Similar movies are still being made today, 50 years after the master made his version! Hitchcock was surely ahead of the times.

The second one was Rope. A very short movie - just an hour and a quarter. But very stylishly made. Loved the strong characterisations, and the amazing histrionics of everyone involved. Each character was amazingly convincing - especially the important 3 of Brendon, Philip and Rupert.

* Spoiler Alert *
The plot of the movie thickens bang after the titles, when we find Brendon and Philip strangling a friend of theirs - as they converse after that, you chillingly realize that they committed the murder simply to prove that they were capable of doing it! Simply to establish that they could commit the perfect murder and get away with it. As you slowly get out of that, you get to know that they are throwing a party in the same room as the venue of the crime - to be attended by the nearest and dearest of the dead man. What makes it further gripping is that the food is served right on the chest inside which the dead man was dumped! A gripping tale right till the end!

I just loved the dialogues in the movie, especially Brendon's cheeky references to the murder in the presence of others, with a naughty, sly smile. A slew of double entendres!

One aspect of the movie that sets it apart is that the scenes are all loooooong. In the sense, that the camera is kept rolling for a loooooong time. And they have tried to make it seem like the entire movie was made in one shot, but you are able to identify where the cuts are made - something that let me down. Surely, Hitchcock must have known better!

But overall, I am stunned by the man! Hear from a friend that Shining is a great movie of his. Should catch up with it sometime.

--------------- Errata -------------------

Just got an alert that The Shining is a Kubrick movie. Sorry for the faux pas!

GM Diet!

2009-10-12T05:47:00.000-07:00

I am not so much of a supporter of diets. I believe more in working out rather than in cutting one's intake. The missus is a proponent of dieting. And I usually fight with her over this.

But I heard about the GM diet a couple of days back. Anyone I spoke to about this had a good thing or two to say about it. So in a sudden pang, we decided to jump into it yesterday.

The version we're following is here.

My updates:

Day 1:
86 kg before the beginning of the diet.
All fruits day.
Was kinda tired of all the fruiting and pissing around all day! And had to suppress a lot of temptations :(

Day 2:
84.7 kg! 1.3 kg down in a single day!
Today's an all vegetables day.
It's evening, and slowly getting used to the diet.
It feels great though :)
More tomorrow..

Day 3:
85.2 kg :( Gone up a few hundred grams! Not worried though.. The first 4 days are only supposed to be preparation for the last three days of dieting, which is when the actual weight loss is supposed to happen. Lets see.

Day 4:
84.1 kg :) Ah! Back on track!

Day 5:
83.6 kg - Not a stellar fall from yesterday. Nonetheless its a fall at least!

Day 6:

83.1 kg - Things look great!! 3 kg in 5 days!!

But alas :( This was the last day of my diet :( Given that this is my Thalai Deepavali, couldn't really argue with the in-laws on the validity of my diet. So broke the diet today!

And didn't measure my weight for 3 more days. Kept feeding heavily on sweets and stuff. Finally reached 86 after all the munching on the occasion of Diwali. So am back at square one, but the diet prevented me from reaching 89! In that sense, was successful!!! And the inches I lost haven't come back (as yet). And now am quite conscious of the amount of food I take, and am able to say no anything, however tempting it might be!! So on the whole, I give this diet a thumbs up.

(Note: Some people complain against this diet, saying it might lead to side effects like loss of hair. I have always been losing hair rather fast, so I didn't notice anything odd)

If you're happy and you know it...

2009-10-09T02:30:00.001-07:00

Small is big nowadays. From Twenty20 to Twitter, the message is loud and clear. One more example in this list is FML.

FML is not a very popular site - as yet. But I think it will grow bigger. The concept is simple: it eats on our tendency to gossip, to pass judgments on others, and to crib about life in general. And it is only a couple of hundred characters in length. One more instance of micro blogging a la twitter.

Drawing from this idea, this post is an attempt at another form of emo-blogging (sorry, my coinage!). This is a request to all readers to mention what made you HAPPY today. Please don't use more than a line or two. It could be a smalllllll thing, but then small is big!

So go on!! Keep the page growing for ever...

A trip to the land of the blues - IV

2009-09-12T12:14:00.000-07:00

Trip to Mauritius: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

He he he.. I haven't given up on this series :) Not yet at least! Cos my best moments of the trip are yet to be featured! Anyway, am getting bored of narrating stuff. So planning to put only pics in the 2-3 remaining posts. Here goes...

The next day began at Ile Aux Cerfs (pronounced ee-loo-surfs) beach island - Awesome place for adventure sports.

Amazing ride this!! Zooming around and falling into the ocean!!

Me - almost reached the rubber thingee.

Wifey - swimming for dear life a few metres away.

We didn't realize the ocean was only 5 feet deep beneath us!

Tandem Paragliding - this wasn't scary at all! God knows how!

They dip you once during the trip :)

A cruise ship on the way back from Ile Aux Cerfs

Outside our hotel room - just after the rains

Ditto

Freshhhhhhh!!

The stillness after the rains

(reminded me of that blue-colored Alaipayuthey shot)

Carrying a tripod around helped!

This was the REAL colour in REAL life then (8 PM)!!

Never knew nature could be so strikingly colorful

Now on to some photography lessons of sorts. The following three shots appear pitch-dark because they were taken at around 10 PM with the auto mode set in the camera.

What follows are pics of the same frames taken with the controls set manually. Basically just had an extended exposure - about 15 seconds for the first and second; 30 seconds for the last. No flash was used for these shots. Flash kills beauty in the dark!

This last pic won me a photography contest :)

(The 30-second exposure pic)

That was Dec-31 2008. Celebs at midnight!

Just when we had almost retired for the night, the revelry began all of a sudden. Fireworks lit up the sky and the ocean. And a Sega dance troupe began performing. (Sega is the Mauritian Belly Dance). Here's a video:

Mauritius Pictures

IIMB - Independence Day Video

2009-08-15T00:18:00.000-07:00

Sometime a couple of months ago, Rakesh came up with the concept of creating a patriotic video for IIMB. Mile Sur Mera Tumhara was the last rage, and he felt it was maybe time to try out a new one. So we set out working on ARR's Jana Gana Mana.

The videos were shot in a single day - surprisingly almost everything went off well that day. We had fixed time slots for the shooting for everyone - from the director of the insti, to the housekeeping staff. We simply couldn't afford to get delayed anywhere given the packed schedule. And we also had to tug along the heavy camera, monitor, tripod, blowers et al and run all around the campus. Was a verrrrry hectic day! Luckily had a good cameraman - Mr Rafiq who understood exactly what I wanted. And even more luckily have a very devoted wife who wanted to be the 'squirrel' and ended up being a lot more!

Anyway, here is the final product of my first 'professional' attempt :)

Wedding Photographers in Chennai?

2009-08-08T01:25:00.001-07:00

As Nov gets nearer, the home front is getting more and more active. As D-Day (literally!) arrives, my sis D is harder to talk to. If only her phone were any smaller, you would think it was her earring - always by her ears! And ISD isn't a barrier anymore. VoIP to the rescue of the future 'woip' of an America maaple.

To the point: This post is a request to all Chennai-ites - please suggest some good wedding photographer in Chennai. I am looking at online sources and reviews, but nothing like first hand reviews!

So if you folks know someone good in Chennai, do let me know - in the comments or by mail!

-------------

Update: More than 8 months later, I keep getting many hits on this particular post. So some gyan for those who land here from Google:
- I ended up booking Mr Sabari (Priya Vision, Coimbatore) - he is an amazing photographer with a very artistic eye. Drop me a mail for his contact (vishwa (dot) suren at gmail)
- Udhaya from Trichy is another great choice. See Chandy's comment below to get to Udhaya
- Raja Ponsingh is the undisputed leader in the Chennai wedding photography market. If you have landed here from Google, the odds are that you have already seen his webpage. He is expensive, so if your budget does not allow booking him, Udhaya or Sabari can be good alternatives.

(All these three are people who do concept wedding photography. They do not simply shoot pics and put together an album. Their albums are like story books with each page themed to a particular concept. Just see their portfolio to know what am saying)

GMAT @ Tech

2009-08-02T00:28:00.000-07:00

This is an impulse post. Just heard from Techian junior Srikkant that he has scored 760 on the GMAT. This is something I wanted to tell him, but posting here as they are derived from some convictions I have in life.

----
Awesome da! Congrats and best wishes! The most important thing now for you is to make proper choices.
And live with them.
I often am asked by people if I settled for less despite my GMAT score. I personally don't think so, though I am not sure how many will be able to see the sense my decision makes to me. When I took my GMAT, it was just a backup option for the future in case CAT 2007 didn't work out well. By God's grace, both worked well for me, and I stuck to my priorities I had decided on before the results came out. I am extremely happy with IIMB and am sure I made the best possible decision when I had the choices in my front. So also when I chose Tech over Anna Univ after my class 12. People still curve their eyebrows when they hear of that decision of mine. But again, absolutely no regrets from my side. Totally happy with that choice too. But had I not been so sure of my happiness with these decisions, others could have drilled into and weakened my conviction about these past choices of mine. It did require me to be considerably apathetic to others' opinions and stick to my guns, and that did require some effort.
So, in short, make your choice with good reason, and NEVER EVER regret about it later.
Cheers!
----

Well that ends the letter of sorts.

I personally got very excited hearing of this news from him because GMAT had never been so popular an option at good ol' Tech. Placements had always been choice no. 1. GRE and GMAT were not too common until around the time I graduated. GRE was becoming hot at that time and saw loads of Techians seeking US visas. GMAT is still awaiting that sort of patronage from Tech. When I chose to write the exam, there were no seniors to guide me. Found it a bit difficult to accumulate exam gyan from different sources and organize them into a package of sorts (and hence happened my GMAT posts on my other blog). But again, around that time, a few of my mates at Tech took the GMAT too (JP thalai, Rathu thalai, Phalgun, Deepthi etc).
I hope successes like these will lead Tech folks in greater numbers towards the GMAT.

(p.s.: For the uninitiated, 'Tech' is the general word used to refer to PSG Tech in and around Coimbatore.)

A Trip to Elephanta Caves Mumbai

2009-07-20T04:39:00.000-07:00

This was one of the trips I went on during my internship at Mumbai. Muru gracefully agreed to come with me and was a real pain in all the wrong places with his constant bickering at my slow pace.

Lesson #1: Never take non-photography-enthusiasts on a photo walk. Or if you do, make them the models. They will shut up for a while (at least, Muru did).
While it was a nice trip overall, and for once it was great to see a well maintained place of interest inside the subcontinent, the dilapidated statues at Elephanta are a sore sight. The more one looks at it, the more painful it is. And mind you, this is not the result of inept maintenance. A few hundred years back, the Portuguese landed at these caves, and used the statues as target practice and defaced them!! As a result, what we have today is a bunch of ex-statues. Really painful to see if you know the story. While one goes expecting 1000 yrs of history, all one gets to see is 400 years of misery.
Anyway, the sob story apart, here's what transpired in that hot Mumbai afternoon of April 2009.

Adra Sakka Adra Sakka!

It's quite a long walk (half a km) from the jetty to the base of the small hillock atop which the caves reside. There's a small train that ferries people along this route.

The principle icon of Elephanta Caves - The Trimurti

That's my model - Muru - posing shamelessly as passersby look on

Practical geometry!

1 kilo mutton paaaarrrrcelllll!

Frankly an awful pic. But liked it for some vague reason!

Trip to Elephanta Caves - pictures

They made us think!

2009-07-12T06:31:00.000-07:00

After a fairly active blogging stint when I was in Mumbai, now am back at Bangy-base. Term 4 has proven to be extremely hectic. Enjoying my first couple of hours of free time in weeks now. Thought I should quickly pen down something here.

In the last couple of weeks, 2 great men visited IIMB campus and delivered engrossing lectures. The first one was Mr Nandan Nilekani. He had come just 2 days after he hit the headlines for the unique ID concept. Right timing for IIMB :) He spoke at length about 18 points (from his book). Stuff like 6 challenges, 4 ideas and so on. He then answered a few questions from the first year students (it was their orientation program). A pretty interesting event. But Mr Nandan Nilekani did not want press publicity for that event. Am guessing that was because that was his first public appearance after the news and he maybe wasn't ready enough to face the press. At the end of the lecture, had the privilege of lunching with the man along with the rest of the Student Affairs Council members.

Yesterday, another great achiever made his way to the stone walls of IIMB. You may not have heard of him. But when a person's CV goes upto 127 kB of a clear text file, he ought to be great alright.

Am talking abt Mr B V Doshi - the greatest Architect in India in recent years. A movie documentary made on him was played to us, and he himself was present to field questions at the end of it. The audi was jam packed as the video took us through the life of this person, who at 82, looks decades younger. Born in 1927, this person was awarded the Padmashri in 1976. The documentary was less about architecture, and more about life itself. Amazing person!

Some points that impressed me (paraphrased):

"Indian-ness is about frugality and making multi-purpose things. Look at the dhoti and towel - the standard Indian attire. You can use the towel to shield you from the Sun, to put down somewhere and sit on it, to cover your torso during cold, and so on. Your dhoti can double up as a rope in a small tank to draw water, as a bedsheet and so on. That is Indian-ness. Ingeniously using things very efficiently. That's what I reflect in my designs."

And actually he does that! All the buildings he has designed have been built using inexpensive material that is commonly available in the area. He also uses recycled materials and waste products to bring his designs to life. The video showed how he has designed the sofa/diwan in his living room - It serves as a seating area naturally. If you remove the cushion, there is storage space beneath the wooden planks that are the seat of the diwan. And the wooden planks are all modular - you can remove each one of them and use them as either a plank to sit on the floor on, or turn it top-side down and use it as a tray to get food and snacks!!!

"What is missing today is socially relevant architecture. People are busy in their own lives that when we build something today, we no longer plan for open spaces where people come and meet, sing, dance and celebrate life. We simply don't have the time for all that. Sad state of affairs."

That's true, and is something most people do think about. But one point that struck me real hard was this:

"We do not understand the word 'Heritage'. Heritage to us, is always monuments and relics from the past. Buildings built 1000s of years ago. We never realize that we actually have the responsibility of creating today's heritage that would be celebrated 100 years down the line. We never think of that! And it's not expensive. I always use inexpensive materials in building my designs. Creating heritage is not expensive. We just should have the intent."

How true!! This was the most interesting point that came up during the interaction, in my opinion. A few years down the line, when I build my house I will sure remember this.

One last point. You know what makes this lecture very significant? Mr Doshi is the person who designed our IIMB campus :) He is the man behind these stone walls. In the video he talks of how he designed the looooong and talllllll corridors with neat columns on either side, based on Madurai Meenakshi Amman Temple :) His aim, he said, was to make people feel free and non-constrained even when inside the building.

That, he definitely has achieved.

A trip to the land of the blues - III

2009-05-24T10:28:00.000-07:00

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Trip to Mauritius: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

The next thing I heard was the ringing of the phone. Sleepily navigating myself towards the phone, I managed to pick the call up.

“H….e.ll…ll.l….oo…”

“Good morning Sir. This is the concierge.”

“Yes?”

“I called to inform you that your cab is here Sir”

I flipped my wrist over and looked at my watch. Still had an hour left.

“Ok, we will be there at 8.15 as informed to us”

“Sir, the time now is 8.20”

I sat upright.

“What?! Are you sure?”

“Yes, sir.”

Totally awake by now, I mumbled something about my watch saying something else and promising that we will be there soon.

In the next 20 minutes, both of us operated on fast forward as they show in movies and managed to rush out by 8.40.

As we reached the cab, we were greeted by O’Brien – our guide for the day. We avoided his eyes and frantically dumped our carry bags in the car. That was when he made a strategic mistake.

Trying to scare us, he said “It’s very late, Sir. If we start anytime after 9, we would get stuck in traffic jams”.

That made my wife freeze in her tracks.

“After 9?”

“Yes ma’am.”, he said forcefully, not knowing what was coming up.

“Then we’ll have breakfast and come. We still have 20 mins”. Saying so, and not giving him time to recover from this blow, the missus pulled me and ran to the restaurant. Poor guy took a couple of minutes to re-draw his jaws from the ground.

I was not so much for breakfast then. We were already late by a half hour almost. And I absolutely HATE that. So I kept mumbling something as we filled our plates with buns, croissants, omelette etc.

Then the missus told me “You were the one who set your watch wrong. And you wouldn’t set a wake up call also. Don’t blame me for this now.”

But I HAD to have the last word.

I said “Ok”.

(Go Vishy!)

In 10 mins we were back at the car. With slightly heavier carry bags (Wink wink).

O’Brien chose to keep himself quiet as we pulled away from the scenic hotel. And luckily for us, the other couple that was supposed to join us for the day’s trip had cancelled their program. So we were virtually on private transfers, at group tour costs.

(Balls to you, tour operators.. Ha ha!)

Soon my heartbeat was back to normal, and my mind started functioning again. And that was when I realised why so many things had gone the way they did the previous day.

The tour operator lady’s comment on keeping time at Mauritius.. The hotel tour that never happened.. The server looking at us weirdly when we ordered food (cos it was way past closing time).. Ah!!!

Soon we were whizzing past Win-XP-wallpaper after Win-XP-wallpaper on our first day of touring Mauritius.

We had actually suggested that this day's trip could be cancelled and some adventure sport could be scheduled in its place. The tour office lady almost had a concussion when she heard that. Deeply hurt, she claimed that this was “the classic Mauritius tour that no one ever misses”.

My foot.

The first half of the day was filled with places I would not visit even on Google Maps.

First we were taken to a ‘glass factory’ that posters claimed “is to glass, what Madame Tussauds is to wax”. I thought the factory made glass models of celebs, and went in with some excitement.

The hallway was filled with row after row of glass models of celebrities’

Hands.

WTF!

Imagine being in a semi-dark hall. You look all around you. And all you see is model after model of glass bearing some obscure hand print. The only things that visibly differentiated the models were the plaques that called out the name of the celebrity whose lovely hand it was.

As I wondered why they had brought us to such a place, and what was so great about it, we moved on to the next room. Ah! That explained it.

One could take home a glass model of one’s own hand. For a thousand Mauritian Rupees.

Have these guys been smoking dope! Why would ANYONE want to do that! Who the hell (apart from Joey Tribbiani) could identify a hand!

A funny exhibit at the glass factory

We were out in a jiffy and went to the next stop of the day.

The ship factory.

Actually the ship model factory.

Actually one more ploy to try and part our precious money from us.

This ‘factory’ made models of ships (that were 3 full feet in length) and tried to test the IQ of tourists by offering them things for sale. But they met their match in me.

The sales lady kept dropping hints, each less subtle than the previous. Starting with “These ships are made of good quality wood”, moving on to “These are very popular souvenirs that remind tourists of the fun they had here”, and finally to the extent of pleading “Sir, we assure that we can pack this very well to tolerate the pressure of an international flight”, she tried her best. But I betrayed absolutely no emotions of even remotely considering a purchase. I looked at the ship models with the stoic eye of an Engg graduate at a factory in an Industrial Visit. My only thoughts were about the fun stuff that were planned for the rest of the day. This was just a formality that had to be done with. Soon the lady gave up and just let us walk around the showroom.

Pretty soon we were out of that place, and moved on to the first tourist spot of the day: (hold your breath, ladies and gentlemen)

The Volcano!

We were kinda excited about this one. Finally some interesting stuff which we cant get elsewhere!

O’Brien took us to a hillock (at Trou Aux Cerfs), and pointed a large pit in the valley and exclaimed “THIS is what remains of a terrible volcano.”

We peered over. The ‘pit’ was quite large, and the air was heavy with reverence.

I managed to whisper out a quiet “when did it last erupt?”

“Oh don't worry. Millions of years ago"

Plop.

(That was the heaviness vanishing into thin air)

Why again would someone want to see this? It’s been millennia since any activity happened at this place, and these nutty folks were crying over spilt lava?! Why, had this been in India, kids would have been playing cricket all over the place.

Anyway, there were some good 'valley view' points there, and we started clicking pics together.

Can you see the ocean behind?

(Tip to Honeymooners: Buy a tripod for your cam and take it along. We did. Helps a lot, later when telling others that both of you went on the trip, together)

Soon we were back in the vehicle, and went on a scenic route to a place called 'Ganga Talao'.

En route to Ganga Talao

There is a huggggeee statue of Lord Shiva on the way to Ganga Talao, towards the end.

Legend has it that Lord Shiva appeared in some saint's dreams and asked him to get water from the Ganges in India, and build a temple in Mauritius. And so he did at this place.

The actual temple near the pond looks like some kind of department store outside, with quite a few statues of different lords erected there.

Soon we were on another scenic route to some gorges and waterfalls.

And the last stop for the day was a place called "seven colored earth". It was a place with mounds of dark mud that was in different hues. Fine, it was interesting to the extent that I wouldn't have minded watching it on NatGeo or Discovery. But coming in person to see this was a huge disappointment. Seeing 'seven colored earth' on different posters and pamphlets, I had expected it to be something spectacular. But those guys hadn't lied. It was just that - seven colored earth. Nothing else. Nothing great.

Boy fishing inside Tortoise's mouth

Soon we were on our way back to the Hotel. One more scenic route.

Overhead irrigation systems are omnipresent at Mauritus

With quite a tiring day behind and ahead of us, we retired for the night after some time at the private beach at the Hotel.