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Today, I felt like poo — I still feel like poo — so I whipped up some Super Fast Cannellini Bean Soup.

As always, ingredients are approximate and if you need exact measurements, you’re out of luck.
IMPROVISE. It’s FUN.

 Ingredients

2 cans cannellini beans — whatever brand you like. No lecture on organic or salt free or whatever. Buy the beans you like.  For that matter, feel free to substitute with small red beans, navy beans, kidney beans, whatever.  Most taste pretty good in this soup.

1 can diced tomatoes — again, whatever kind you like.  I prefer plain (unseasoned) fire roasted ones but whatevs.

1 T bouillon – I use Better than Bouillon Organic Vegetable flavor but you can use whatever you like. I’d stick with vegetable or chicken but the goal here is soup juice so use whatever tastes good to you; homemade stock, canned broth, those little cubes, I will not judge

1 large or 2 small onions, chopped coursely

1/2 bunch of celery, with leaves, chopped coursely (about 1 cup)

4 small carrots, chopped coursely (about 1 cup)  I cheated and used those already cut up ones you can buy in a bag that are all round and fancy/wavy

4 smallish zucchini, sliced in rounds

1 T oil of your choice. I use olive but you can use whatever. Or skip it. I just like a wee bit of oil in my soup for flavor.

1 t. minced garlic or garlic powder

Water. Salt. Pepper. Red wine vinegar. Multi purpose seasoning like Mrs. Dash.

Instructions

Get out a big pot and a big frying pan.

Dump the beans and tomatoes in the pot.

Saute the celery, carrots, zucchini and onion in the frying pan.  Use the olive oil to do this or, if you’re going for fat free, use a bit of broth.

While sauteing, add salt, pepper, Mrs. Dash (or whatever seasoning) and garlic to the veggies.  You have enough seasoning when they smell really great.  (I probably use 1/2 t each)

Saute until tender crisp. Saute rather than putting raw veggies in cuz they will taste better. I promise.

Dump veggies in the big pot with the beans and tomatoes.

Add your bouillon, stock or whatever.  Add water (or stock, you purists) to cover all the veggies and beans and make it as “soupy” as you like your soup.  I think I probably dumped in…. hmmm….  2 quarts of water?

Simmer until the veggies are fully done.

Add 1 -2 t. red wine vinegar and more salt if needed.

Trust me on the vinegar. It gives the broth a gorgeous zing.  If you’re not sure about it, try just a 1/2 t at first. But trust me. It will not taste like pickles or salad dressing. It’s fantastic.

Ladle into a big mug, serve with some bread or crackers.

Total cook and prep time – 1 hourish?

Depends on how fast you chop but less than an hour if you’re not making your own damned stock. Which you probably aren’t if you’re looking for “super fast”.  Or you did before and have it frozen into stock cubes or something.

Regardless…  under an hour is pretty fast for mostly homemade soup.  You can speed it up by using frozen soup veggies or canned carrots or something but then you may as well just eat Campbells.  (Or my Food Pantry Soup, which is fucking fantastic but I’ll tell you about that some other time.)

Also, if you dislike any of the veggies?  It’s totally okay to leave them out or put something else in. Mushrooms rock in this one.

Nom nom!

Little Daisy | EdenFantasys | Sextoys

But there are times when you want a particular scent to go along with other bath products and you just have to bite the bullet and splurge…

Which is what I did with this Cake Brown Sugar scrub.  I got it in the Desserted Island Scent and it’s heavenly!  Cake describes it as Tahitian vanilla and coconut and it really is that simple.  I get maybe a hint of a citrus smell, as well, plus the sugar smell — but mostly it’s a soft, warm coconut.

No fear, though!  This is not the coconut nightmare of your sunbathing past.  This is a grown up, lightly toasted, not too sweet, not too candy sort of scent that clings to the skin and leaves you smelling good but not like a candy bar.

Sugar scrubs are great — and supposedly better for your skin than salt, due to the grains being less likely to scratch the skin — but you should use care using it in the genital area. If you’re prone to yeast infections, stay away from your vagina and don’t use it in a tub bath.  Other than that, though?  Go nuts!  Spread this stuff on elbows and feet and knees and legs and butt and arms and chest and belly and scrub and rub and exfoliate that body!  You’ll be smooth and soft and totally touchable with a nice, healthy glow.

This stuff seriously makes my skin so soft I don’t even need to use a lotion after my shower.  I’m kind of in love with it.

Definitely rinse with  fairly warm to hot water, though, so that you don’t have too much of an oily residue.  This is oil based — in fact, it’s primarily oil and sugar — so, again, rinse well and be careful to rinse your tub, too. You don’t want to fall and kill yourself when you smell so good and have such soft skin.

I use this primarily in the bath and my routine goes kind of like this:

Cake Supremely Rich bath and shower froth for bubbles in the tub.

Same stuff to wash with.

Shave.

Sugar scrub.

Let the water out of the tub, turn the shower on, rinse.

Dry off.

Pet myself a lot.

Sniff myself a lot.

Get weird looks.

Climb into bed happy.

A must have, right?

I got mine at EdenFantasys, cuz they sell way more than just sex toys. You should too — and you should do so soon while it is still 25% off!

EOS Shave Cream | EdenFantasys | Sextoys

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