And now, on to the actual review.

The Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System is an oscillating massager with multiple attachments you use on a very clinical looking base.  One of it’s best features is its clean, clinical look, which makes it very non threatening even for those who are nervous about sex toys.  No giant cock heads or veiny shafts like realistic toys, no massive, 800 pound handle with a huge ball for a head like the Hitachi and other massagers, just a nice, green and white tool that looks sort of like something you’d see at the dentist’s office.

It’s other amazing feature is that, unlike traditional vibrators, which run by the motor twirling an off center weight to create vibrations, the BSSPS oscillates – or moves in a side to side sort of motion.  I’m not good at technical details but oscillations are supposed to be less numbing and provide a deeper, more intense orgasm.  The BSSPS can oscillate up to 12,000 times per minute – which, the best way I can describe, is rather like someone running their finger back and forth across your clit at super human speed without ever becoming tired.

The BSSPS is rechargeable – it comes with a charging cord and what appear to be rechargeable C cell batteries inside its shaft.  You plug it in, let it charge overnight and you’re good to go.  You don’t have to leave it plugged in which means you can take it anywhere in your house (or out of it!) and not be hampered by a cord. In fact, it won’t run while plugged in.  You can also twist open the base, remove the included rechareable batteries and use regular C batteries if you’re traveling and not near an outlet to charge it.  The BSSPS gets a super high rating for convenience, that’s for sure!

It comes with 5 different heads that attach to the shaft by lining them up and twisting them on.  I have read complaints about these – how they’re hard to get on, break, are a pain to get off, aren’t sturdy, etc. I believe the people who have made those complaints are simply being impatient and snobby (doing the “compared to the Eroscillator” thing) because I have had absolutely no issues with the heads other than one having come broken in the box.  The shaft is plainly marked in three places – close, open, close – and each attachment has a little arrow on the outside that lines up with this text.  Place the attachment on with the arrow lining up with the open text and then twist either left or right.  This will lock the attachment into the closed position.  It also allows you to choose which way you want the attachment to face, which is super handy, since you can then hold the shaft in a way that is most comfortable for you.  To remove, you reverse the procedure. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

The attachments are simple and have enough variations that nearly anyone should be able to find one that does it for them. All are made from a firm, latex free rubber that feels a lot like plastic to me.

There is one that looks like rabbit ears, though they are close together and do not separate.  Another looks like a hooked little finger.  A third resembles an ice cream scoop on one side, the other side being convex and textured with wavy lines.  The fourth looks like a road cone with bumpy ball on the end and the fifth is another dual sided; about an inch long, tapered on one side, a small, clit cupping concave divet on the other.

All the attachments stimulate in different ways but all are definitely quite firm, not at all squishy.  The best way to find out which works for you is to experiment!  You’ll know when you’ve found the ones that feel best to you, for sure.  Personally, I like the finger-ish one and the two with the “cups” on the ends best.  I’m not at all fond of the bumpy ball or the bunny ears.

Once you have the attachment you like attached, the BSSPS is operated by pressing buttons on it’s bottom.  There is a dedicated off button which allows you to shut the toy off at any time, quickly, and two vibration level buttons.  There are a total of 6 speeds of oscillation that increase in small, gradual increments.

The BSSPS, as mentioned, really does look quite clinical and discreet.  Most people aren’t going to look at it twice and, if the heads aren’t attached, will probably think it’s an electric toothbrush of pore opening, fancy facial scrubber.  It’s ten inches long with a bend at the tip of the handle/shaft to more easily angle it toward your body.  Each attachment is around two inches long and all are slim and meant more for clitoral stimulation than insertion.  The shaft is around an inch and a half in diameter – it fits quite comfortably in my hand and has a texture to the plastic as well as rubber grips to keep it from getting too slippery.

It all sounds really good, right?  And it is.  It’s fairly quiet and has moderate, non threatening power, great for beginners.  The issue I have with it is pressure.  When you turn it on, you can see the attachments moving rapidly from side to side and the oscillations feel great in use – so long as you don’t press on it.  Even a fairly small amount of pressure greatly reduces the already moderate vibrations – which means those who need a lot of power are going to hate it and want to throw it out the window.  I don’t necessarily need a lot of pressure and I don’t need monster levels of vibration, but even I get a little stressed out with it.

As for oscillations over vibrations – there is definitely a difference, though it’s very hard to explain.  The feeling is more subtle with oscillations and seems to go a bit deeper, creating longer, stronger orgasms.

I really wish I could rave about the BSSPS but the fact is, the lack of a soft attachment and the issues with pressure, combined with the very moderate vibrations, totally negate the pros of being cordless and able to use standard C batteries.  It’s nice, it’s okay, but it’s a solid 3 star toy, nothing to write home to mom about.  I think this could be a really good beginner toy, for someone who felt really intimidated by regular vibrators and who wanted something different and not overly strong.  For those who already have some experience, though, it’s just not going to measure up to much more reasonable bullets and other vibes, despite it’s oscillations.

Because it’s plastic and rubber, clean with soap and water, being careful not to get the charging port wet since it’s not waterproof.  Don’t share, because rubber can’t be sterilized and the attachments can’t really be covered with a condom.

The better sex synergy pleasure system Oscillating massager by Sinclair Intimacy Institute® Material: Rubber / Plastic Safety: $84.99 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

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I? Am very glad I did.

All of the Lovemoiselle ceramic pieces are beautiful but the Noemie really appeals to me on an aesthetic level; her creamy white body, the lovely plum colored flower that embossses her shaft, her gentle curves all beckon me in a way none of the others do.

I particularly like her for gentle, slow, thrusting penetration while manually stimulating my clit.  There’s just something about her that begs to be used with fingers, not other toys.  It’s easier to feel her, to focus on the subtle sensations and sleek surface when you’re not distracted by something buzzing away noisily in the other hand.

The Noemie is, as mentioned, ceramic.  Ceramic dildos are very similar to glass.  They are firm, unyielding, cool and sleek and frictionless to the touch with an odd combination of feeling both sturdy and delicate at the same time.  Like glass, ceramic sex toys are created to withstand a fair amount of banging around but can break if you drop them.  Remember to check the surface each time you use your ceramic toy to be sure the integrity hasn’t been compromised, that there are no scratches, cracks or chips.  I have five different ceramic dildos and, so far, have not had a problem with any of them.  I store them in lightly padded bags either in a drawer, a toy chest or an over the door shoe rack (the pocketed kind) so they don’t get banged around.  You can use any lube you like with the Noemie though if you choose silicone, use a bit of care near the silicone plug in the end of the Noemie.  I haven’t had any issues with it reacting but there is always the chance.  Try to stick to really good quality silicone lubes, water based or natural oil based lubes to be most safe.

Clean up is incredibly easy; the Noemie can be sterilized by wiping with a mild bleach solution or boiling (though you want to avoid rapid changes in temperature so don’t go from fridge to boiling water) or you can simply wash it with soap and warm water in the sink.  Her surface has no real texture other than the curves so lube and secretions wash off very easily.

The Noemie is a fairly thick, substantial dildo.  It measures 8.5″ long with an insertable length of 7″ – meaning you can insert as much of it as you like but will need to leave a bit of it out to hold on to and thrust with.  It has a maximum diameter of 1.5″ – which is average to me, since I tend to buy most of my toys in that size range, but may seem a bit thick to a beginner or a bit small to someone who prefers very large toys.  She starts out with a slightly tapered tip – not pointy, but tapered enough to make insertion easy without being a danger to the cervix. (I really hate pointy toys that try to stab my cervix.)  She bulges out gradually but swiftly to her full diameter and the largest part of her shaft is the first four inches.  I like this, since that’s the main part in insert – I have a shallow vagina – and I’m not really a huge texture fan.   She then dips back in and immediately back out for a bit of a bulge, then back in and out to the base.  If you can insert almost her whole length you’ll feel these dips and bulges as a very gentle texture, just enough to stimulate the vaginal entry but not enough to be painful at all.  It’s a shape, more than a texture, if that makes sense.

The flower decal on the Noemie runs the length of the toy and can be felt if you rub a finger across it but not while in use.  I believe it’s painted on then baked in, because I can’t scratch it off even with effort.  I’d imagine a coarse cleaning pad might damage it so don’t use one!  Also, the silicone plug in the bottom is situated quite firmly. I cannot pull it out without ripping it so it’s a good, tight fit and seals the inside of the toy, keeping water and lube from getting inside.

The the Noemie is hollow, the walls seem quite thick and it feels substantial yet light in the hand.  It’s not a heavy toy but it feels comforting and thick, rather like a favorite coffee mug as opposed to a favorite wine glass.

The Noemie comes packaged in a nice, windowed, black cardboard box – pictured above – with a thick foam insert into which the toy fits perfectly.  It is actually difficult to get out of the foam so be gentle and take your time.  It’s packaged to keep it from breaking and it does the job very well.  You can use the box for storage, though the Noemie also comes with a nice, velvety drawstring bag that is tucked under the foam insert and I tend to use that.  Less bulky and easier to get to.

Ceramic is incredible for temperature play and tends to warm a bit more quickly – and retain more heat  - than glass.  Again, think coffee cup vs drinking glass.  I prefer to use it at room temperature or run it under a bit of cool water and feel it warm to my body temperature as I use it but you can also run it under warm water and start out toasty warm and comfy.  I do not recommend putting it in the microwave or freezer since extreme temperature changes can damage it but you could put it in the fridge for an extra chilly sensation or a bowl of ice water.  You can even take it in the bath with you – though please use care as it does get slippery in water and I’d hate to see it get dropped in the tub.

I know ceramic often looks sort of boring to many compared to the flashy beauty of glass but, seriously, give it a shot.  It’s a feeling unlike any other – similar to metal, wood and glass but not the same.  As I mentioned earlier, for me, it’s a great toy for slow, manual masturbation and gentle thrusting that builds into a long, strong orgasm.  It’s a toy to take my time with, to indulge in, not something I reach for when I want a quick wank.

It’s for sensual me time….  and I love it.

$53.99Lovemoiselle Noemie Dildo by Lovemoiselle Material: Ceramic Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys

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The weather here has turned distinctly fall like and I’ve been enjoying the hell out of my balcony – a cinnamon candle burning at my side, wrapped in a fuzzy soft blanket, the crisp, cool air, the occasional pattering of rain on my awning.

We’ve cleaned.  We’ve ridden, getting in as much time on the bike now as we can before it turns too cold, which it will, much sooner than we’re ready for it to.  We’ve eaten dinner out and eaten dinner in.  We’ve had evening snuggles and morning sex.  I’ve reviewed my big butt off.  We rescued a baby squirrel.

I’m not kidding.

It’s now at the wild animal rescue facility but it sure was fun for Taylor to cuddle the little guy for awhile.  It didn’t like me one bit but it kept following Taylor around, climbing up his boot, pants leg, shirt to sit on his shoulder.

Not sure what we’ll do tomorrow, though I know it will include a stop for a cappuccino.  Now that Taylor has a laptop, he really likes to go sit and people watch while he messes around online and there is an awesome coffee shop called Moondance that we both love.  Alterra coffee, incredible food and the owner makes you feel so welcome.  We went in once, a year ago, and when we stopped back this year, he actually remembered us.  Amazing.

Other than that, I guess we’ll play it by ear.  I know I have to at least check in at work a couple times since it’s otherwise only the new kids working and they may need a hand. I have to bleach That Teen’s hair.  I should do a load of laundry.  It doesn’t really matter what we do though, really. It just feels good to have a three day weekend.

I haven’t had any real time off since Memorial Day so I appreciate it a lot.

I’m sort of bummed that I didn’t take a vacation at all this summer but I suppose I can take some time in fall just as easily.  Maybe a nice, long, luxurious hotel weekend.

And now, I believe I shall go have a bath.  Brew up a mug of vanilla coffee, throw a handful of vanilla salts in the bath water and let the warmth ease my muscles and soothe my soul – not that either are very sore but, still, some ease and soothing can never hurt.

I had all this stuff I was going to write about, deep thoughts and pretty words, but I had to go pick up the kid earlier than I’d planned and lost my writing mojo.

I hope everyone is enjoying this last bit of summer – or start of fall, if you’re having weather like we are!

I’ve wanted the Womolia for a long time, doubly so since they added the heat feature to it.  I mean, a strong massager that is nicely small, has  a head shaped for clitoral and vulval (vulvular? am I making words up? do you get what I mean?) stimulation, is rechargeable, looks completely discreet (seriously, it looks to me like something you’d use for a facial or something) and warms, to boot?  I lusted!

Unfortunately, I once again let my lust make my decisions for me and kind of regret it.  The truth is, I do not like the Womolia, not one bit.

Well, that’s not quite true. I do like the way it looks.  I like the concept of it.  But the vibrations make me murderous which makes it useless to me.  I can’t use it as a massager, can’t use it as a sex toy, can’t even turn it on without wanting to chuck it out the window with as much force as I can muster.

The vibrations, you see, are BUZZY.  Very high pitched, very at the surface of the toy and very strong – so strong, buzzy and surface-y that they make my hand itch like it’s being stung by a horde of bees. Swarm of bees. Whatever.  It’s bad.  Like, torturously bad.

That does not mean it will be bad for you, however.  I have totally come to grips with the fact that I’m a sensitive sally when it comes to vibrations and what I consider too strong and buzzy is usually quite a bit of fun for a whole lot of other people.  (The Fairy Mini and Ideal Wand, for instance.  UGH for me, WOW for nearly everyone else)

So let’s get off the subject of me and my sniffling wimp of a clitoris (and hands) and talk about the Womolia itself, hmm?

As noted, it’s strong, with high frequency vibrations that dance across the surface in a very intense buzz.  The main body of the Womolia is plastic, the control pad area and head of the toy are medical grade rubber with an added anti microbial agent that works kind of like magic. According to Emotional Bliss, makers of the Womolia, you simply wipe it down with water after use and, within minutes, it becomes sterile again.  I have no idea how this works but I do know the Womolia has no scent or taste and doesn’t retain odors after use, either.

The rubber is matte with an exceptionally exquisite drag against the skin.  It is also vertically textured with an almost carved appearance to it.  Very nice to look at, very subtle in use. I barely feel the texture and it definitely isn’t unpleasant or too much.

The head of the Womolia is bulged and slightly curved to nestle against your vulva really well. The tip is tapered so that you can insert it just a bit – and Emotional Bliss recommends this as you near orgasm for added stimulation.  Vibrations travel throughout the toy so you can insert it a bit and still retain contact with your clit and labia quite easily.

The shape really is one of the best things about the Womolia; the handle is easy to hold, the buttons in a nice position, the curved shaft and bulged head make it very ergonomic and intuitive.

Vibes are controlled via a touch pad at the base of the shaft; a dedicated on/off button turn power on and off, a plus button raises the vibration level and scrolls thru patterns, a minus button lowers vibrations and scrolls down from patterns back to steady vibes.  There are three steady vibration speeds and six patterns that include four pulsations, “saw” mode and “triangle” mode.

As you use the Womolia, the tip heats up gradually, warmer temperatures coinciding with higher vibrational levels, lower temps with slower vibes.  It takes a bit to heat up – you won’t notice it at all for about five minutes and it’s fully heated after ten or so.  I’ll be totally honest – I was most excited about the heat feature but was never able to use the vibrator long enough to actually make use of it.  I can feel that it gets warm in my hand and it’s just a slight warmth, not a super hot heat or anything.  It may feel warmer on tender tissues than in the hand but definitely shouldn’t be too hot for most.

The Womolia should be charged, initially, for at least twelve hours and can be left plugged in without harming the battery.  A blue LED lights up when it’s plugged in or turned on – the Womolia shouldn’t be turned on while plugged in.  A full charge lasts about 2 hours, depending on what level of vibrations you use.

Clean up, as mentioned, with a wet cloth. This one isn’t waterproof so use care under running water and do not get water in the charging port.

I recommend water based lube with it – since you shouldn’t use a lot of harsh soaps, silicone lubes can be hard to get off the rubber, though it does come with a sample of both water based and silicone based, both in cute little blue bottles.

I think those who are fond of really strong vibes and who don’t mind a higher pitch/more surface sensation will love the Womolia.  Fairy Mini lovers may really like this one, too.  It’s lovely. I like the spa-like, sort of medical look of it.  I just can’t actually use it without it hurting my skin. :(

Womolia Clitoral vibrator by Emotional Bliss Material: Rubber / Plastic Safety: $59.99 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

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Tickle Her Pink comes in a very cute pink cardboard box with a Marilynesque picture on the front – which also adorns the tube itself.  The tube is soft, squeezeable plastic with a screw off lid.  Directions instruct you to apply sparingly to the clitoris, working it in well, paying special attention to the tissue under the clitoris for the best effects.  I have no idea why under the clitoris but it does seem to be more effective than if you focus more at the top.

The gel itself is quite thin, more the consistency of hand soap than a true gel.  In fact, you generally have the little dab you need sitting on the rim of the tub when you open the cap.  An amount about half the size of a pea is more than enough.

I find that with arousal gels that work you get a slight tingling when you first apply that intensifies in the next few minutes.  It doesn’t make you instantly horny, doesn’t make you instantly orgasm, doesn’t mean you’re going to orgasm automatically or anything, but it does make you hyper aware of your clit, which throbs a bit and feels much more rapidly engorged than it does without using the gel.  I tend to use this gel most often when I want to masturbate quickly – since it will arouse me faster and, hence, bring me to orgasm more rapidly.  It also works miracles when my Dude is in the mood but I am not, giving me that little boost of physical arousal it takes to get me going and making it far easier for my mind to follow suit.

Tickle Her Pink gel is safe for ingestion and condom/latex safe.  It has no glycerin, silicone, parabens or sugars so it’s friendly to the vaginal flora and to all types of sex toys.  I would love to talk about the ingredients more but I’m confounded because my box lists different ingredients than my tube does.  (You can see this in the pictures below if you click to make them bigger)  The box does list parabens where the tube lists  hydroxyethylcellulose, the box lists orange oil, the tube lists Argentine and Ornithine HCL.  I’m guessing that the box lists an “old” formulation where the tube lists the improved formulation but I cannot say for sure.  Both list peppermint.

While I wouldn’t suggest eating this from the tube it doesn’t taste awful if you happen to get some on your tongue – though it will make your tongue and lips tingle a bit.

Overall, there isn’t much to say other than the basics.  It works – it boosts my arousal and boosts the quickness with which I get off but it’s not a miracle gel, either.  It’s not as strong as some but is much better than many others at a very reasonable price.  I would suggest it, for sure, for someone wanting to try this type of product without spending a lot on it.

I haven’t noticed any staining and it wipes off easily with a damp cloth or wipe or even a tissue – though if you want the tingling to stop, you really can’t make it.  Soap and water or a shower help but don’t always totally make it stop. Only time seems to do that.

For me, it lasts about 20 -30 minutes, gradually weakening in intensity until it’s completely gone.

You can use this as an anal stimulant or even to stimulate your nipples but use a bit of caution – you don’t want to use it as a full out lube as it’s a bit strong for that.

If it does, indeed, contain argentine and ornithine, do not use if you have HSV as it can cause increased outbreaks.

$9.99Tickle her pink Gel by Pow Products Inc. Buy from EdenFantasys

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It’s an addiction, okay?  I am almost there, though.  So long as Lelo doesn’t come out with anything new in the next six months, I shall have conquered my addiction. Or, you know, not.  More like succumbed to it but let’s not nit pick.

Today I am reviewing the Lelo Iris.  The Iris has been out for awhile and is one of Lelo’s “old style” vibes.  This means it has the single button control pad and the box with the platform inside to hold the toy securely (rather than the blister pack thing they’ve gone to for newer items) and, while it has dual motors, they’re not quite as deep and strong as those of the newer vibes.

I’m not complaining, though.  The Iris is plenty strong for me and I actually prefer the old box (which comes wrapped in a color coordinated outer box) and am apathetic about the button style – both work fine.

My Iris is a soft, baby blue which I chose over the pink because I already have a lot of pink sex toys and Eden Fantasys doesn’t carry the deep rose.  The silicone that coats the shaft is, like all Lelo silicone, softer than soft.  I mean in texture, of course, not rigidity.  The texture is reminiscent of those silk shirts men used to wear to the point of obnoxiousness in the 90s.  So soft you almost expect it to melt under your fingers, so soft you want to caress your cheek with it.  Underneath that soft silicone skin, however, is firm, unbending ABS plastic so this toy has no flex or give to it at all.  The handle is also plastic, divided from the silicone by a silver colored band.

The Iris resembles petals in its design.  The shaft begins with a tapered tip that almost immediately bulges out into the first of the petal shaped ridges.  It almost looks as if the head of the toy is emerging from a flower, thrusting thru a flower – or, to me, a bit like the head of a penis emerging from it’s foreskin, only not really penis shaped.  (Shush. It makes sense to me.)  The shaft then tapers in a bit, for an inch and a half or so, before bulging out into the second petal shaped ridge.  The first ridge is subtle, barely raised but the second is prominent and can be felt quite distinctly when you thrust.

Because the shaft is so firm, despite the buttery silicone covering it, you may find the texture to be a bit too much if you’re not a fan of textures.  If you like intense texture that totally covers a toy, it may not be enough.  It’s sort of a Goldilocks texture – not too much, not too little for most users.  It is a girthy toy for Lelo, as well, measuring in at 1 3/8″ diameter as opposed to Liv’s 1 1/8″ or Mona’s 1 1/2″.  It’s not huge, by any means, but it is just a wee bit above average.  Total length is 9″ with 5 1/2″ of that being insertable.

The Iris is controlled via the single button touchpad thingy on the shaft.  It’s rather like a video game control, really.  Pressure to the right (+ symbol on the button) turns the Iris on and ups her vibrations.  Pressure to the left ( – symbol on the touch pad) turns her off and lowers her vibrations.  Pressure to the top ( up arrow on the button) starts vibrational patterns, of a sort.  When you first turn Iris on, it starts with the motor in the tip on.  The first press to the up arrow turns off the motor in the tip and on the motor in the base.  The second press turns the tip motor back in and the vibrator pulses from tip to shaft.  Third press slows down this pulsing a bit, feeling a bit more like a pulsation or wave.  The fourth press is a steady vibe from both motors.  Pressure to the bottom ( down arrow on the control pad) scrolls back down thru the patterns and takes you back to steady vibes in just the tip.  All patterns can be increased or decreased in strength via the rifht, plus symbol.

Sounds complicated but it’s really intuitive once it’s in your hands.  My only issue is that sometimes the buttons get pressed while in use, especially if you’re thrusting.  Vibrations travel well thru the shaft no matter what setting  you’re using and are quite intense when used together, vibrating at tip and base, giving sensations in all areas of your vagina.

Along with the nifty texture, Iris also has a curve to her shaft making it very easy to hit the g-spot so long as you don’t require a large head or extreme curve.  The curve creates a shape that is easy to thrust and causes the bulging, first set of petals to rub the g-spot nicely while the second one stimulates the vaginal entry, where you tend to feel textures most.  The tapered tip makes for easy insertion and a more pin point area if you prefer that for g-spot stim – or clit stim.  The Iris works well for that, too.

Like all first generation Lelo toys, the Iris is moderately strong and very, very quiet.  Inserted, you’re not going to hear this baby thru a closed door, possibly won’t even hear it thru the covers.  (I haven’t tried it. I just never wank under the covers.)   Also like all Lelo toys, Iris comes with a satiny drawstring pouch for storage which, while nice, doesn’t hold up all that well.It tends to fray after awhile – but pouches can be replaced.  A good vibe is far more important to me than a little storage bag.

Normal rules for silicone apply; wash with soap and water (being careful of the charging port since the Iris isn’t waterproof) or spray down with a mild bleach solution and use only water or natural oil based lubes.  Charging takes a couple of hours (plug into the wall, then into the jack at the bottom of the Iris, which is covered with a silicone tab) and gives you a couple hours play time.  Lelo toys are warrantied for one year against manufacturer defects and have a 10 year quality guarantee, which means if your toy dies within ten years, Lelo will let you buy a new one a greatly reduced price.

My overall opinion of the Iris is a thumbs up.  It’s not the best vibe I’ve ever tried but it’s typical Lelo quality, luxurious, with that amazing silicone, a nice curve and an intriguing texture.  I’d definitely buy it again, no regrets.

Like the Elise, it’s a bit lighter than it looks.  It’s so much bigger than the Liv and Gigi you expect it to be more substantial but it’s quite light – nice if  your hands tire easily, though I feel it diminishes the quality feel just a bit.

Just a quick fyi so the safety police don’t beat me with jelly dongs – the Iris is not flared at the base and, as such, not suitable for anal use, though you can tickle the exterior of your anus and perineum quite nicely.  Testicles, penis, nipples, anything can be stimulated by the Iris – just don’t stick it up your butt or in your eye.

Iris G-spot vibrator by LELO Material: Silicone Safety: $110.99 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

Comments

• September 4, 2010, Kayla writes: So, I never realized that the Iris was so freakin' gigantic. It's bigger than Mona! :)

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On the one hand, it’s a spray lube!  Spray!  Lube!  Convenience!  Ease!

On the other hand, it’s a spray lube.  So it’s got to be thin enough to spray out, which means it’s not all that slick or long lasting and it kind of runs a bit.

Let’s start with the details about the product itself.

Spray Lube is, as mentioned, spray lube.  It’s lube, in a pump spray bottle.  It comes in three flavors as well as an unflavored version.  I got the strawberry flavor.  What can I say?  I like flavored lubes.  They usually taste okay, which makes going from sex sex to oral sex kind of nice and they tend to smell good.  I’m all about good scents.  (I mean, I’ll always choose a scented massage oil over an unscented one, scented soap over unscented, etc)

It is a glycerin containing water based lube so it might not be the greatest for those with sensitivities. It also contains parabens. None of those things bother me overly much, though, so I’m okay with it.  It’s latex condom compatible and safe for use with any and all sex toys.

The bottle is a standard pump bottle, clear plastic with a fairly discreet label, a pump top and a plastic cap.  It holds 4 oz of lube.  The lube is uncolored and the label matches the flavor; blue for unflavored, peach for passion fruit, pink for strawberry, red for cherry.  The label does say what it is on it with big Grrltoyz text and “strawberry mist” underneath that but isn’t full of naked folks or flashing “sex lube, sex lube, sex lube” signs.  I’m fairly comfy leaving it lay around.

The pump works well, a single spray dispensing about a dime sized amount of lube.

Flavor is decent; no diet aftertaste, really and it’s not overwhelming, just a bit sweet.  I don’t know if I really think it tastes like strawberries or even strawberry candy but it’s not bad.  Middle of the road as far as flavors in lubes goes.

I really like the convenience of the spray.  I like being able to lightly coat my sex toys with a few sprays of lube and find it works excellently for clitoral play but less well for penetration or male stimulation.  It’s simply too thin to give much glide and, in fact, feels a lot like female ejaculate when you try to use it vaginally – not very slippery at all, just wet.

Spraying it on a toy works best if you’re kind of fast or spray a very light layer.  Spray too much and it runs right off.

Spraying directly on the body, while fun, is not very comfortable.  Room temperature feels a bit cold when your partner takes aim at your vagina and fires off ten sprays of lube!

It works very, very poorly for anal use, providing no where near the amount of lubrication most use and is likely to cause pain unless your spray very, very, VERY liberally.

Overall, I like it for clitoral masturbation and for oral sex, not so fond of it for vaginal or anal sex.  I”m not sure I’ll buy it again but it’s  also not an utter waste of money or a failure.

One awesome thing is the bottle doesn’t leak at all. It doesn’t lock for travel and the cap pops off easily, but even if you tip it over, it doesn’t make a mess.  Very nice when you tend to use lube then toss the bottle to the side!

$9.99Grrltoyz spray lubricant Spray by Topco Buy from EdenFantasys

Comments

• September 3, 2010, Tori writes: I've seen a lot of grrltoyz products get kind of so-so or moderate reviews and yet I love ever one I've tried, so I guess the design of the line just meshes well with me. And the spray feature is definitely novel enough to get me to try it.

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  So, Silky Sheets is this awesome product that is supposed

In my experience so far it does one of those three things.

Silky sheets comes in a 4 oz  aluminum spray can with a aerosol spray nozel and a plastic cap.  Each can is color coordinated to match the scent – sort of.  I have the orange mango – which has an orange band around the can – and the vanilla – which has a yellow.  The can also has images of the scent.  The vanilla has a picture of a vanilla bean and flower, the orange mango a picture of an orange and a mango. (Surprise!)  The cans are light weight, easy to hold, easy to spray.  The spray works well and has never clogged on me so far – though you should make sure you shake it before each use or you’ll get a stream of white stuff that isn’t aerated.

Ingredients are denatured alcohol, talc, propane, butane, fragrance, mineral oil and some other chemicals that I don’t recognize.  This isn’t something you want to spray on the body – primarily because talc can cause issues with breathing and has been shown to be unsafe for women used in the genital area.  I absolutely recommend spraying it lightly upon the bed and waiting a bit before you get in so you don’t “poof” up a bunch of talc that can get in eyes, sinuses, lungs, etc.

So. Now that we’ve covered the basics, let’s get down to how it work, hmmm?

I like it.  I’ve bought it twice now simply because it really does make my sheets feel nice.  Does it make them feel like silk?  Nah, not really. But it does make them feel softer, more pleasant to slide into and it smells fantastic.  I particularly like that I can use it to freshen my sheets up if I haven’t had a chance to wash them in a few days.  I get night sweats and don’t have time to wash my sheets daily so Silky Sheets is a godsend. It makes the sheets feel good and smell fresh, which makes me eager to climb into them.  It also freshens them up again when you’re done having sex but don’t want to rip them off and replace them in the sleepy afterglow.

I do not find it very effective at drying the wetspot, however.  If it’s a very slight spot, the talc will dry it more quickly than it would dry alone but I tend to squirt a lot and it just doesn’t work for a puddle.  I didn’t expect it to, however, so I am not disappointed.

As for the pheromones, I don’t notice them and neither does my partner.  I do believe my cat likes them, though, because he hops up and rolls around on the sheets the second I spray this stuff!  Heh.  Pheromones are an odd thing, though, and don’t always effect everyone so I’m not disappointed there, either.  The scents are super pleasant, though, and lift the mood a bit so there’s that.

Spraying is easy; simply shake the can well, take off the cover and spray lightly and quickly in a side to side motion.  The spray comes out continuously when you hold down the button, stops when you let it up – just like aerosol hair spray.  Make sure you don’t have a fan or air conditioner running in the room or the powdery mist will go in the air rather than on the bed.  If your sheets are dark, you may get some talc-y white spots but they wash out.  With light sheets you can’t see it at all.

The scents are both nice; sweet but not cloying.  They fill the room but don’t overpower you.  The vanilla is a soft, warm vanilla and the orange mango is a bit like a Stewarts Orange Cream soda or a creamsicle.  I chose the sweeter scents because they agree with me and I’ve read the breeze and rain type scents are a bit stronger and heavier, more like a cleaner or detergent or air freshener.

Silky sheets can be used on curtains, blankets, sheets, even carpet or clothes, I guess. Just don’t use it on your pillows since you don’t want to be breathing in talc all night while you sleep!  Clean up by washing your sheets, etc as usual.

I got mine at EdenFantasys, my favorite spot for all things sex, sextoys, sensual and awesomesauce.

$8.99Silky sheets Spray by Classic Erotica Buy from EdenFantasys

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I quite miss my boxxy.  I guess since I’ve been too busy lately to post much of anything, boxxy has had nothing to comment about.

*sigh*

So I did a google search to look at videos from the other boxxy and amused myself that way.

This girl?  Whoa.  I want just an iota of her energy.  For serious.

She never once says ass banana, cunt biscuit, whore doodles or douche nozzle but, still. She’s fun.  And reminds me quite a bit of a lot of bloggers.

Blah blah blah.

And on that note, time to wash out some bleach.

I was going to tell That Teen no but then I realized he’s 17 and I’m sitting here with pink hair.  A bit of bleach on buzzed hair (that will grow out in two weeks) never killed anyone…

Comments

• August 27, 2010, Laurel writes: I ... it's mesmerizing. I love how she tries to find her "calm" voice and it's the same as the hyper voice. She's cute as all hell, but she scares me.
• August 28, 2010, Taylor writes: I'm secretly in love with her...but don't tell anyone. The sad thing is, as far as I can tell the poor girl was murdered. Her personal information was hacked from some website and they went to her house and killed her. Simply for making her videos.
• August 28, 2010, PandaDementia writes: Umm, she's either on speed or needs to be on Ritalin. One of the two. LOL
• September 1, 2010, Sex, Lies & Law writes: Interestingly, the person (or more likely persons) that commented on your blog under that name was actually almost 100% not this person. Unfortunately, this odd girl's identity has been co-opted by forums of nerdy 15 year white suburban boys that like jokes genocide and cancer. Maybe you have heard of them: 4chan nerds or "/b/tards" and other there are other "chan" sites too. These kids will find a website, descend on it in large numbers and spam it with comments like the ones you received. They will ofte ntry to shut it down by flooding it with comments or hacking it. Luckily they seem to have lost interest, probably because no one responded. When I saw "boxxy" I figured it could only be either a friend of yours making jokes or a 4chan geek. These kids actually harassed this poor girl extensively in real life, showing up at her school and breaking into all of her accounts on various internet sites. It's really sad, I feel bad for her. I mean she's weird, but seems like a sweet enough kid. More about it can be found here: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Boxxy
• September 1, 2010, Sex, Lies & Law writes: Re-reading your post I notice you may have actually already picked up on the fact that this wasn't her, because you mentioned that she obviously doesn't curse at all in any of her videos or attack anyone. So I apologize if I just explained something you already knew, lol.

Seemingly endless days where the sun is shining, a breeze is blowing, the clock is ticking slowly, the coffee is flowing freely, strong and dark.  The music keeps me company while I sit outside, keeping Taylor company while he tinkers with the bike.  Kids skate past, or zoom on by on big wheels and scooters.  Neighbors mow lawns and the whole word smells like fresh cut grass and tomatoes growing heavy on vines.

I have no idea why summer smells like tomatoes to me, but it does.  Tomatoes, grass, hot pavement and motor oil.

—————————-

I’m truly hoping Taylor gets the clutch completely fixed on the bike today so we can take a ride.  It’s been down since the Fourth of July – due to an overabundance of testosterone and 100 degree heat and too many attempts at wheelies with a 1200 pound bike.  He finally got all the parts to fix it and a day free to do the work so, with some luck, we’ll  have wind in our hair by night time.

The problem with blogging from outside, however nice it is in a thousand ways, is that I become seriously distracted, find myself staring into space or at Taylor, peering at the sun, watching dragonflies or handing someone…  ahem…  now we know why he wanted me out here!…  tools.

—————————–

I should probably  be cleaning.  The house is a wreck.  But I’m not going to let it bother me or make me feel guilty.  I got every bit of laundry in the house done yesterday, the bathroom, my desk and bedroom cleaned.  Enough work for a weekend, right?  The rest can wait.  It’s been hotter than the depths of hell here lately and I’m determined to enjoy this less hot, less humid, breezy gorgeous day.

—————————–

I was at the store earlier, picking up Tide stain removal booster tab thingies – Im addicted to them since they take stains out of just about everything I forget to pre-treat and make even my kitchen towels smell clean – and I grabbed some really cool glittery nail polish.  I mention this because, being outside, I’m getting a lot of glare on the laptop screen and I can clearly see my glittery pink nails reflected  back at me as I type.  It’s odd, watching your fingers tap tap tapping as you type!

I also grabbed some perimenopause herbal tablet thingies.

I am SO tired of hot flashes and night sweats and being irritable and grumpy and not wanting to have sex – not because sex is bad but because I can’t fucking sleep and when I do sleep I wake up 13 times a night, mostly soaked in sweat.  Pray gods these things help because I do not want to have to take hormones.

My mood swings and emo-ness and cying jags are making both Taylor and I insane.  That Teen, too.  I totally remember when my mom went  thru this.  I remember being in Walmart with her, buying wiper blades, and she couldn’t find the size she needed and she just burst into tears and started sobbing about how horrible life was, right there in the automotive area of Walmart.  I can so totally relate these days.

One minute I feel Zen, chill, happy with life, with who I am and where I am, mellow, calm…

And four seconds later my head is spinning around cuz someone put a sock on the floor.

It’s ridiculous.

So yes, fingers crossed that this Estroven or whatever stuff works.

—————————–

Taylor has been super snuggly at night lately.  I think he’s been doing it cuz I bitch about wanting more cuddles a lot and I feel like a raging cunt because I am just not a “fall asleep snuggling” sort of person.  Added to the issues sleeping I’m already having, I get insanely stressed out and react really, really badly — which has us bickering and leaves both of us with our feelings hurt, trying to figure out just what the other wants and not communicating it well at all.

We rarely have communication issues but this time we seem to be floundering.

Mostly I think it’s cuz he’s also an insomniac but doesn’t have to get up early in the morning like I do, so being awake late and snuggling and not sleeping is okay for him.  For me, all I can think about are the hours of sleep I’m missing, how badly I want to sleep and how the sleepiness I got from my valerian is wearing off and now I’ll be fucked and up all night.

Maybe I should hold off on taking the valerian, etc, until after we’ve had some snuggle time, that way he’s not waking me up just as I’ve dozed off and we  can both get what we want – which is obviously snuggles – but I’ll actually be able to enjoy it instead of resenting being woken up or not being able to fall asleep.

I suppose we could try going to bed for snuggle time earlier, too, so it’s not so late when we start.

Then, when the snuggles turn into sex, I won’t also feel resentful of that.

Yeah.  See?  It’s sucky.  What sort of cunt is resentful of snuggles and good sex??????

Back to that head spinning around, Exorcist-like mood swingy shit.

Meh.  Sucks, I tell you.

——————————–

For the first time in my life I actually feel a little bit crazy and I can honestly say I no longer envy those who are.  Imbalances of any kind are simply not fun.  I used to think it would be freeing to have all that emotion swimming and swirling around and actually be able to let it out.  It’s not.  It’s just crazy and emotional and irrational and it sucks ass.

——————————-

And I just spent the last hour searching for a song from the early 80s, late 70s that I can’t remember the name of, who sings it or even the lyrics but I’d know it if I saw it.  How fruitless do you think that was???

Comments

• August 15, 2010, Sarahbear writes: What sort of cunt is resentful of snuggles and good sex? A cunt biscuit, that's what kind! Where's good ole Boxxy when ya need em? I hope your perimenopausal issues resolve with minimal intervention.
• August 16, 2010, Kathryn writes: Estroven was a lifesaver for me
• August 16, 2010, CarrieAnn writes: That is me! Cunt biscuit extraordinaire!
• August 16, 2010, CarrieAnn writes: Glad to hear it worked for you. I'm not sure how long it's supposed to take to have an effect but, man, I'll be overjoyed if it gives me even 50% relief!
• August 16, 2010, Taylor writes: Yeah...I've been tempted to sleep in the truck a few nights recently.
• August 18, 2010, Jz writes: If that doesn't do it, try straight black cohosh, the 540mg size. Estroven did nada for me but the black cohosh is a gift from the gods. Took about a week to take hold but by day 10, I was a normal woman again. Or as close as I can get...

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