Verbatim

Shreddies

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:52:00 +0000

(for Fred Goodwin)

For a few years, Shreddies' advert campaigns
featured a cartoon personification
of 'Hunger' as an antagonist.

He appeared as a blue monster with big teeth
whose goal it was to taunt hungry individuals
by drumming on their stomachs
with a pair of silver spoons.

Hunger would then be dispatched
when the victim consumed
a bowl of shreddies,
sealing hunger inside a shreddie cage.

Despite his troublesome persona,
hunger was frequently used as a mascot
for the cereal during this period.

Taken from the Wikipedia entry on Shreddies on 1st February 2012. Submitted by Nick.

Five People Liked His Status

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

I swear,
to everything I got,
I’ll defend my baby
till the end.

If a short,
little motherfucker
wants to
try and threatened
her for saying
something
to a freeloading skank,
who calls her mom
a bitch,
then I got a problem
with him.

Or else what
motherfucker?
Threaten her again
and I’ll show you.

From a Facebook status last year. Submitted by BJ.

Open Grave in a Public Place

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

Grip the fork in your right hand
with as much strength as possible.

With your left hand use sharp
downward blows in a circular motion.

If you are uncertain,
lift up the palm of your hand
as shown in the diagram

WARNING
Quick questions
Will guarantee
A serious bodily injury

Fitting instructions for a quick release Shimano bicycle wheel. Submitted by Winston.

On the surface

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

Greed probably undid her in the end.
She was said to have taken a bait of uncooked tiger nuts,
which swelled inside her until she floated upwards.
Telltale empty paper bags were found on the bank of the river.
Or she may have been pregnant,

with 300,000 eggs causing complications, or stressed
after so much catching and releasing,
those constant brushes with extinction.

On the line between life and death, at Kingfisher Lake,
she breathed the fatal air and did not sink again.
And there she lay,
like Wisdom drawn up from the deep:
as golden, and as quiet.

From the Economist, the obituary of Benson, England's best loved fish. Submitted by Mat.

The Great Money Engine of State

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 12:35:00 +0000

(after Macaulay)

All who could help or hurt at Court,
ministers, mistresses, priests, were
kept in good humour by presents
of shawls and silks, birds’ nests and
attar of roses, bulses of diamonds,
bags of guineas.

Lord Macaulay, as quoted in an article in the Economist about the East India Company, 17th December 2011. Submitted by Rishi.

Post-Painterly Abstraction

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

for Helen Frankenthaler

She departed from the romantic search
for the sublime to pursue her own path,
pouring turpentine-thinned paint
in watery washes onto raw canvas
so that it soaked into the fabric weave
becoming one with it.

Her method emphasized flat surface
over illusory depth and the nature of paint,
releasing color from the gestural approach
and romantic rhetoric of Abstract Expressionism,
landscapes looking to many like a large paint rag
casually accidental and incomplete.

From the biography of Helen Frankenthaler in the New York Times. Phrases have been picked from the article and put together, in order, instead of one whole excerpt. Submitted by Jenni.

Petrifaction

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 08:31:00 +0000

This happens to bone marrow
in the hollow
bird-y
dinosaur bones,
it’s very pretty.
it’ll seem like a solid
black fossil but
if you accidentally
break
it
you see it looks
like it’s filled with crystals

Taken from a comment on a blog post about petrification, written on the 21st December 2011. Submitted by Haley.

You can say I am a hater

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 10:54:00 +0000

You can say I am a hater
but I would argue I'm a lover
I'm a lover of traditional families
and of the right of children
to have a father and a mother

I believe the earth gets warmer
and I also believe the earth gets cooler

is anyone saying same-sex couples
can't love each other?
I love my children
I love my friends, my brother
heck, I even love my mother-in-law

Quotes by Rick Santorum, candidate for Republican nomination in the US Presidential elections 2012. Specifically, quotes as they appear in Rick Santorum Quotes As New Yorker Cartoons posted by Jack Shepherd. Punctuation has been stripped out and the 'I'm' of line one turned back to two words for the irresistible rhythm. Submitted by Gabriel.

Father Rabbit

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

He;
Is disciplined and discerning
irons his pillowcases and tucks his sheets in
with hospital corners
prefers the cold side of the pillow
suggests if you are going to do it, do it
properly or not at all
prefers you finish what you started
likes his crème brulee unadulterated and his
pancakes thin
is meticulous in his laundry, preferring freshly
washed and smelling of lavender
uses a top sheet

Taken from the website of Father Rabbit Ltd. Submitted by Marika.

The Differences Between Dogs and Cats

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 13:11:00 +0000

The most obvious external differences
are visible in the head.
Dogs have wider and shorter heads
and a more U-shaped
than V-shaped snout.
For hard-to-distinguish specimens,
the protruding tooth is the most reliable feature
to define a species.

Dogs lack the jagged fringe which appears
on the hind legs and feet of the cat,
and the toes of the hind feet are webbed
not more than halfway to the tips.
Dogs strongly prefer freshwater,
and cats can better tolerate seawater
because of specialized glands for filtering out salt.

Dogs also tend to be darker in color than cats
often nearly black
but color is very dependent on water quality.
Algae-laden waters produce greener skin,
and tannic acid from overhanging trees
can often produce darker skin.

When cleaning dog pools,
some zookeepers can tread on dogs
without eliciting a response,
though cats almost invariably react aggressively
and are for the most part
more aggressive in their natural habitat.

From a Groupon offer page. Submitted by Patty.

Shema

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 09:00:00 +0000

I am the coat
I am the jumper
I am the coat
I am the jumper

I am the magic dress

Signs in the window of French Connection in Newcastle, spotted on the 17th October 2011. Submitted by Marika.

I decided not to save the world

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 10:46:00 +0000

It is of utmost importance
that we repeat our
mistakes as a reminder to
future generations of
the depths of our stupidity

An advert for an exhibition at the Tate Modern, spotted on Jonny Baker's blog on 16th December 2011. Submitted by Marika.

Shoreham harbour

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 09:00:00 +0000

In the harbour a single Guillemot
and two Purple Sandpipers roosting
with Turnstones on the inner wooden breakwater
and Peregrine sitting in the nest box
on the Power Station chimney.

Widewater; I searched the entire length
of the beach from the flats to the sailing club
without finding the Snow Buntings once again.

On the beach a single Rock Pipit
and twenty-four Sanderling, off shore little other
than a few regular gulls.

From the Sussex Ornithological Society, a Recent Sightings post by Bernie, 12 Dec 2011. The post has been topped and tailed, and the word 'very' removed from line 10. Submitted by Gabriel.

Papa Don't Shoot

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 09:01:00 +0000

"Papa rushed into the room”
Rola El-Halabi
told the newspaper. "He threatened us with
a gun in his hand and shouted
‘Everyone out!’ And then he shot me
in the hand from three meters.
I cried and screamed."

Bild reported that El-Halabi split
from her stepfather as a manager
in January. “When I had problems
I could talk with him about anything,
except when it was about boys,”
El-Halabi said.
“That was taboo.”

Taken from a news story on April 3, 2011 about a female boxer in Germany, shot in the hand by her stepfather before a bout. Submitted by Marika.

The Passenger and the Privy

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 09:52:00 +0000

I am arrive by passenger train Ahmedpur station
and my belly is too much swelling with jackfruit.
I am therefor went to privy.

Just I doing the nuisance that guard
making whistle blow for train to go off
and I am running with LOTAH in one hand
and DHOTI in the next

when I am fall over and expose all shocking
to man and female women on platform.
I am got leaved Ahmedpur station.

This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung
that dam guard not wait train minutes for him.
I am therefor pray your honour to make big fine
on that guard for public sake.

Otherwise I am making big report to papers.

A letter of complaint sent in 1909 to the Sahibganj divisional railway office in West Bengal. Source: New Delhi Railway Museum, via Letters of Note. Submitted by Gabriel.

Insects In General

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 09:54:00 +0000

Don’t worry about popular opinion
Don’t worry about dolls
Don’t worry about the past
Don’t worry about the future
Don’t worry about growing up
Don’t worry about anybody getting ahead of you
Don’t worry about triumph
Don’t worry about failures unless it comes through your own fault

Don’t worry about mosquitoes
Don’t worry about flies
Don’t worry about insects in general
Don’t worry about parents
Don’t worry about boys
Don’t worry about disappointments
Don’t worry about pleasures
Don’t worry about satisfactions

Taken from a letter by F. Scott Fitzgerald to his 12-year-old daughter Scottie, away at summer camp. Submitted by Marika.

The Complaining Lunch Queue Riposte

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 14:42:00 +0000

However the children complain
that they have to wait
they are hungry
they have less choices
they should even not have to wait
because they have their own lunch—
maybe this is all done deliberately
maybe temporarily
in order to teach them patience.

Why not?
They are not starving to death.
Should everything be easy?
Life is not like that.

Personally I trust the school.

From a Google groups message written by a parent at my child's primary school. He wrote it as a reply to a stream of complaints from other parents that their children were having to wait too long to get their lunch. Commas removed. Submitted by Gabriel.

Chickens on bikes

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 09:00:00 +0000

Things like boiling water, lizard watching,
mosquito nets, thorns in my shoes, wearing
skirts and t-shirts all the time, waking at
five AM, seat feeling sweaty, hearing
spoken Swahili, admiring cornrows,
dirt tracks and colourful markets and snacks
that all seemed so new when I first arrived,
now just feel normal. Glass pop bottles, old
Tsh notes, mud brick houses, chickens on bikes,
Karibu, men at bus stations, heat, dust,
colourful buses and dala-dala
and colourful clothes, rice and beans, insect
repellant, hot showers heated by the sun,
watering the garden morning and night,
African singing, mangos and pawpaw,
taking antimalarials, buying
green vegetables for the girls low in
iron, frogs, owls, feeding chickens … I got
that challenged feeling again today,
of having practical skills to offer.

For those of you
expecting a blog
on South Africa,
well, what can I say?
They did show G.I. Jane
twice in four days.

From the individual blog posts of a married couple, separated by 3,000 km in Africa: the first verse is from Sarah's blog post about her experiences in Tanzania, while Luke is working in Johannesburg, his article providing the last six lines. The marvellous decasyllabic rhythm has been maintained by the removal of four little words, and phrases in lines 15-16 have been swapped over. Submitted by Gabriel.

I love you and I

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 08:31:00 +0000

I love you and I
will be screaming with my love
from San Jose.

Taken from an MSN conversation, 4th November 2011. Submitted by Devin.

Plowing at high knottage

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 09:00:00 +0000

Plowing at high knottage
through time itself
kinetic
even in stasis

Plowing temporally ahead

With time coming off him
like water in sprays and wakes.

From endnote 57 in David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest, (Little, Brown and Company, 1996). First published on Zach Higgins Is A Designer. Submitted by Zach.

Soon enough came fearfulness

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 09:12:00 +0000

Once she was born
I was never not afraid:

afraid of swimming pools,
high-tension wires,
lye under the sink,
aspirin in the medicine cabinet…

rattlesnakes, riptides, landslides,
strangers who appeared at the door,
unexplained fevers, elevators without
operators and empty hotel corridors.

A paragraph in Joan Didion's Blue Nights, as quoted in the London Review of Books, 3rd November 2011. Submitted by Rishi.

God Bless America Yes I Believe

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 17:11:00 +0000

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Text picked from the front page of the website What Would Jesus Do? on 11 November 2011. Submitted by Lucie.

Miserere

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:03:00 +0000

I confess:

I have become  
a runner.

I go  
running.

I  
run.

Like a  
runner.

Which is what  
I have become.

A running  
runner.

Forgive me.

Oh Christ.

Forgive me.

Taken from Charlie Brooker's Guardian column, 6th November 2011. Submitted by Ailsa.

Stream

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 13:31:00 +0000

Lynsey Peterson likes we want
a Scottish flag on Facebook.

Anna Hammond Сака ли некој
да одиме во парк денес?

Rebecca Grohl commented on her own
status: Ich bin eigentlich ueberfluess…

Luke Southey is listening to
Que Veux-Tu by Yell on Spotify.

Clive Law commented on Peter Meadow's
status: I always put too much red wine…

Natalie Southey and Ruth Garcia-Lopez
are now friends.

Russell Goodwin OMG!

From my Facebook friends latest activity stream (or whatever that short update column on the right is called) on 17 October 2011. Exactly the order in which they appeared, names altered for privacy. Submitted by Gabriel.

Slip in their veins

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 13:03:00 +0000

I started as a boy
straight from school
in nineteen fifty
and I enjoyed my
twenty five years here.

It was almost like
a home from home, really.

It was always said
that potters had
slip
in their veins
instead of blood.

That’s what we were.
We were potters.

Terry Abbotts, former Royal Doulton worker, interview in the BBC4 programme Ceramics: A Fragile History. The Age of Wedgwood, first broadcast 17th October 2011. Submitted by Ailsa.