My Verbally Abusive Marriage

Hurt by your church?

Kellie Jo Holly — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 23:32:20 +0000

Have you been given bad advice by a member of the clergy? Did you feel blamed for the abuse in your relationship instead of helped? Have you been told to carry the water and serve the one who abused you? If so, then you know that some clergy must be better educated about the dynamics of abuse. [...] Related posts:

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Three Stories of Domestic Abuse

Kellie Jo Holly — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:30:02 +0000

This month, so far, I’ve received three stories from brave women. Two of them speak to financial abuse also, and Sarah has a blog. These are their stories: Rose Felt Worthless, Stuck, and Crazy Laura Felt Devastated, Frustrated, and Shocked Sarah Felt Betrayed, Sorrow, Brokenhearted (Sarah’s Blog: Sarah Found Her Voice) Related posts: New Stories [...] Related posts:

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Too Tired to Cry

Kellie Jo Holly — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 14:49:46 +0000

Not too tired to care The pain in my chest comes and goes The pain in my heart is always there But I’m just too tired to cry The days turn into weeks The weeks turn into months The months turn into years And still, I’m too tired to cry Exhausted from the fear Worry [...] Related posts:

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New Blogs About Abuse

Kellie Jo Holly — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 19:31:09 +0000

Une Vie, a new blog, stands on the threshold of liberating its writer and many others who care to follow her story of abuse. The writer contacted me to let me know she identified the issues in her marriage as abusive and is ready to do something about it. I’m so excited for her! Running [...] Related posts:

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An Anniversary Worth Celebrating

Kellie Jo Holly — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 06:28:44 +0000

On January 22, 2012, it will be two years since I left my marriage. I’ve come so far since then; I did the right thing for my children and myself. I’m having some “issues” today that I was going to discuss in this entry. But before I did that, I went back and took a [...] Related posts:

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New Stories of Abuse

Kellie Jo Holly — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 15:51:58 +0000

Unfortunately, the stories of abuse keep pouring in. Whereas I like to see them because I know these courageous women’s stories will help someone else, I don’t like them because they’re happening, right now. What would our world be like if there was no abuse? We’ll have to wait awhile to find out. In the [...] Related posts:

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Domestic Violence Mentoring

Kellie Jo Holly — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 05:47:00 +0000

There are agencies designed to help victims of domestic violence when they’re ready to leave the abusive relationship. Those same agencies may counsel victims of domestic abuse who are not yet ready to leave, but need support and information as they try to salvage their relationships. If you have access to those groups, then please [...] Related posts:

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Thankful

Kellie Jo Holly — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 01:56:45 +0000

How was your Thanksgiving? Mine was great, minus the turkey dinner, minus my kids. I did have my boys with me Thursday morning. We ate strawberry shortcakes and drank coffee. I got them caffeinated and sugared up for the day at their dad’s house! I just can’t figure out why that man doesn’t love me [...] Related posts:

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The Abuser’s Opening Moves: Rushing Commitment

Kellie Jo Holly — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 00:50:33 +0000

Insisting on a commitment early in a relationship is a red flag marking a possible abuser. Commitments range from having sex to proclaiming love at first sight! Some commitments are implied, some are coerced, and others are demanded. Implied Commitments Implied commitments occur when someone introduces you as their partner without discussing it with you [...] Related posts:

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Whoomp! There It Is! Verbal Abuse Strikes Again

Kellie Jo Holly — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 03:09:22 +0000

So…last weekend there was a touching scene between my son and his father on my front porch. There was a hug and Will said ”You look good, son!” Will looked genuinely happy to see Marc, and vise-verse. Fast forward to today when I, in my brilliance, decide to call Will. I tell him that Marc feels depressed and it is [...] Related posts:

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Roadmap to Freedom

Kellie Jo Holly — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 01:06:35 +0000

I like how Katheryn Lee-Ryder named her radio series “Roadmap to Freedom”. It’s the perfect name for people stuck in abusive relationships! Sometimes victims stay because there’s no direction on how to free themselves. Abuse diminishes our ability to see our way free. We victims become reliant on the most unreliable source in the world [...] Related posts:

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Stories of Abuse – Summer 2011

Kellie Jo Holly — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:52:29 +0000

This past summer’s testimonials came from several brave people who reached out to share their experiences. Doing so was good for them and good for us. Those of us still in abusive relationships can find validation in their experience, to know we’re not alone. Those of us out of abusive relationships can remember why we left [...] Related posts:

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Nurturing Myself to Death

Kellie Jo Holly — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 15:36:29 +0000

Well, I’ve finally learned my lesson. Amy must leave my home; she is a detriment to my son’s recovery. Amy’s sweet demeanor helps me to love her. Her abusive past, her uncaring (unfit) parents, her drug addiction and codependent behavior make me want to help her grow strong and healthy. I want to fix her. [...] Related posts:

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What I Want

Kellie Jo Holly — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 03:08:05 +0000

On March 1, 2010, I wrote a post called I Want to Lie to You. I wanted to protect myself from judgment by not telling the truth. My life is different now. I know that the choices I make will be judged by others. The difference between now and then is that I am willing to [...] Related posts:

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God I Promise You

Kellie Jo Holly — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 00:15:50 +0000

Dear God, I know what you’re asking me to do. You want me to take another leap of faith. When Will put his hands on me on January 22, 2010, I did leave. But I didn’t want to. I cried when I filled out the ex parte order. I cried when the judge approved it [...] Related posts:

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Stranglehold

Kellie Jo Holly — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 02:33:07 +0000

Writing the post on anger yesterday brought up some bad memories. My ex-husband once terrorized my mind with his wrath. (What will he be like tonight? Is it a good time to ask him now? What do I need to do before I run these errands so he’s not angry when I return?) Punishment for [...] Related posts:

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Taboo

Kellie Jo Holly — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 05:10:05 +0000

Over the past couple of years, I’ve written this blog straight from my heart. When I look back over the posts, especially the ones in the beginning, I see errors in my thinking. In many posts, abuse and its effects clouded my thinking; I doubted myself at my strongest, persevered with bad decisions when I [...] Related posts:

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Free to Follow My Dream

Kellie Jo Holly — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 14:44:26 +0000

My brain hit the ground running this morning. I tried unsuccessfully to feel the warmth of Max beside me, the soft wind from the fan and the cozy-soft microfiber sheets. But my brain wouldn’t have it. It was like while sleeping, it discovered all the answers and couldn’t wait to put me into action. Unfortunately, [...] Related posts:

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Calm and Crazy

Kellie Jo Holly — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 01:01:33 +0000

A post I left out of the mix due to the divorce proceedings. This post dates about 6 months into our separation. June 6, 2010 So the past few weeks with Will have gone pretty smoothly. We’ve had some pretty cool conversations considering what we’re going through and how we’re at odds over SO many [...] Related posts:

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J.D. Smith Inspires Abuse Sufferers

Kellie Jo Holly — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 18:11:10 +0000

In The Dark “In The Dark” ( A Song For Battered Women) off the hot new Conscious Earth E.P. by Indie Artist J.D. Smith who says, “Please help me raise money and spread the word through this song and my new E.P. benefits an overcrowded women’s shelter called PROJECT SAFE in Athens Georgia.- Peace out” Now available for [...] Related posts:

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Sociopathy and Abuse

Kellie Jo Holly — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 04:07:32 +0000

I did not write this essay. I found it at http://www.conversationsforabetterworld.com/2009/11/domestic-violence/ in response to a comment I posted in 2009. I admire this woman’s depth of thought, and since we’ve been discussing courts, law, etc. on facebook, I thought it was a relevant idea to share. ———————————— Written by Tonya Saturday 21st November, 2009, 2:57pm [...] Related posts:

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Teens Suffering Abuse Must Learn New Skills

Kellie Jo Holly — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 15:55:28 +0000

I’m on pins and needles waiting to hear back from a treatment center for my son, Marc. I found an inpatient program that allows him to continue his education without withdrawing… He’s 3 credits short of graduation, and the programs I’ve found in this state expect him to withdraw from school to attend. As for [...] Related posts:

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Verbal Abuse ala Teen Style

Kellie Jo Holly — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 17:10:57 +0000

Most hurtful thing I heard this week: “I don’t love you, I barely respect you, and I hope the last words you hear me say are Fuck You!” I love my son. His words did not send me into a tailspin. I didn’t cry because of what he said, I cry because of the example [...] Related posts:

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Exorcising Demons

Kellie Jo Holly — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 02:00:58 +0000

Demons worry that we will know their names (all the horror movies say so and, actually, my angel says so, too.) Once we name the demon, once we recognize it, it loses its power. For example, when I admitted to myself that the demon in my marriage was ABUSE (not Will, but ABUSE), the abuse [...] Related posts:

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Connect With Me

Kellie Jo Holly — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 19:27:44 +0000

Holy cow! I just located the places I am online. If you want to find me, I guess you’ve got options. Contact Kellie Jo via email Break Your Silence – Share Your Abuse Testimonial FaceBook as Kellie Holly Twitter @abuse_journals LinkedIn as Kellie Jo Holly YouTube Google Buzz Verbal Abuse in Relationships- Healthy Place Blog [...] Related posts:

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