MENLO PARK, CA (The Borowitz Report) – The following letter to Facebook users was issued today by Facebook founder and CEO, Mark Zuckerberg:

Dear Facebook User,

Hi, it’s Mark.

As you may have heard, our IPO last week didn’t go quite as well as expected. How badly did it go, exactly? If you live in a major city, you’ve probably seen homeless guys huddled around bonfires of Facebook stock. More ominously, I just received a call from my attorney telling me that I probably didn’t need a prenup after all.

If you’re a Facebook investor, you already know what this means: it sucks to be you. But what if you’re one of the billion Facebook users in the world? Well, it also sucks to be you, because I am writing to you now to ask for your financial support to help save Facebook.

It’s only fair. Since its founding in 2004, Facebook has totally revolutionized the way you waste your life. Without it, you would find yourself in the unpleasant and awkward position of having to speak to your family. And so, to keep Facebook alive, I am instituting the following new usage charges:

– $1 per poke

– $5 for every ex you crop out of a profile picture

– $10 for every time you stalk someone from high school, college, or job you were fired from because of that HR “incident”

– $15 for every “friend” you have never met (no charge for friends you know, if any)

– $20 for every sheep, bird, or the Scrabble letters Z, X or Q

With your financial help, Facebook should be around for many years to come, providing you with hours upon hours of pointless and isolating activity. Without your help? I’ve just got one word for you: Friendster.

Help me,

Mark

Seminaries need to engage with science on issues like “origins” because they need to equip pastors with a sophisticated worldview and a capacity for nuanced discourse around the intersection of biblical hermeneutics, theological anthropology, and scientific explanations of cosmic, terrestrial and human origins.

via Seminaries and Science.

Dr. Park at United does from time to time and I was hoping to take it.

But, yes read the entire article. This is good stuff.

However, the real problem with this kind of work is that it fails to take seriously the nature of the texts that are being studied.  What Matthew appears to be doing here is to rewrite his Marcan source in typical Matthean fashion.

via NT Blog: Earthquake Research and the Day of Jesus’ Crucifixion.

Go read the entire post. Good stuff.

Both literalists and mythicists take the text generally wrong and oddly enough, come up with the same result.

Part of the problems which they saw in the Anglican Church were women who administered the sacrament of baptism. Following this is the charge that only men be admitted to the ministry… Only men of qualifications though.

In the Church service: that the cross in baptism, interrogatories ministered to infants, confirmation, as superfluous, may be taken away; baptism not tobe ministered by women, and so explained; the cap and surplice not urged; that examination may go before the communion; that it be ministered with a sermon; that divers terms of priests, and absolution, and some other used, with the ring in marriage, and other such like in the book, may be corrected; the longsomeness of service abridged, Church songs and music moderated to better edification; that the Lord’s Day be not profaned; the rest upon holy days not so strictly urged; that there may be a uniformity of doctrine prescribed; no Roman Catholic opinion to be any more taught or defended; no ministers charged to teach their people to bow at the name of Jesus; that the canonical Scriptures only be read in the Church.

II. Concerning Church ministers: that none hereafter be admitted into the ministry but able and sufficient men…

Um… Well, that explains some of the translation choices in the King James now doesn’t it?

I have to wonder if this area, women administering the sacrament of baptism in the Anglican Church before 1611…

Very interesting…

To analyze earthquake activity in the region, geologist Jefferson Williams of Supersonic Geophysical and colleagues Markus Schwab and Achim Brauer of the German Research Center for Geosciences studied three cores from the beach of the Ein Gedi Spa adjacent to the Dead Sea.

Varves, which are annual layers of deposition in the sediments, reveal that at least two major earthquakes affected the core: a widespread earthquake in 31 B.C. and an early first century seismic event that happened sometime between 26 A.D. and 36 A.D.

Bible-era earthquake reveals year of Jesus’ crucifixion | Fox News.

Wow…

For I delivered to you 1as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that He appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. (1Co 15:3-5 NASB)

But…

After that He appeared to more than five hundred brethren at one time, most of whom remain until now, but some have fallen asleep; then He appeared to James, then to all the apostles; (1Co 15:6-7 NASB)

Peter, James and John are the pillars of the Church in Jerusalem (Gal 2.9). It is in Galatians that we get the best picture the Jerusalem Church at Paul’s time. James, the brother of Jesus, led the Apostles in Jerusalem. Peter is mentioned, but he is always  apart from the Apostles in a rather unique leadership role. James is not one of the Twelve. Well, James the brother of Jesus isn’t. James the brother of John is. Of course, during this time, the word apostle were not exclusively used to designate the Twelve. After all, Junia is an Apostle, but not of the Twelve.

Peter is connected to the Twelve; James is connected to the rest of the apostles.

Now, some idgit could see this as two different groups of early Christians, but that would be wholly unsupportable, unless you use some fanciful math. They aren’t. The Twelve represent the inner circle while the apostles represent the outliers, at least in the Gospels.

Of course, I have to wonder if The Twelve here could not be the Twelve Tribes, but I could find no real reference to that being the case unless you consider James 1.1 who writes to the Twelve Tribes. Paul never mentions them by name and of course, various lists are given in the Gospels (which I date after Paul).

There is a two-stage appearance here of the post-resurrected Christ. First, Jesus appears to Peter and then to the Twelve. He then appears to James and then to the all of the apostles. Not rest of, but all.

There you go. Some random thoughts. It has been a long week and I haven’t had a chance to really work on my book.

I think that Mark has taken some liberty with the names in his list.

I still find it odd though, that Paul doesn’t mention Judas. Yes, he mentions a night in which Jesus was delivered up to be crucified, but Judas is not mentioned. No need really. You can still have Jesus being taken by the Romans without Judas. Of course, you really can’t have the Twelve without Judas. Which gives me pause about considering Paul’s Twelve as the same Twelve in the Gospels.

Anyway…

I’ve got a long day ahead of me.

“In good old fashioned timing (he he, I have the Memorial Day weekend, don’t I, and so do you!), I am making a call until the end of next week for the next Biblioblog Carnival, for June 1st, 2012.

I am collecting posts on Biblical studies along with Theological studies;

Please do the following:

Submit links in COMMENTS section below;

Tweet me links at @RtRDH on Twitter;

or Email me at

miteewarrior@gmail.com

Sections will include:

Biblical interpretation, biblical hermeneutics, Trends in theology, Ethics, history, doctrine, Controversies (what’s being debated TODAY),Patristics/Early Church Mothers, Approaches to Race Relations, What’s Hot in Pop Culture, Philosophy and forthcoming books/book projects that are relevant to biblical studies/theology. Oh, yah, and that archaeology non-sense.

But, oh what, folks, shall the theme be for this month’s carnival, I haven’t the slightest idea, but maybe it has something to do with this 1 clue?:

1. If your arch-nemesis hands you a bowl of chili, make sure you ask what’s in it before you gobble it down!”

Yes,

I will take submissions from comments on this blog post as well. But the carnival itself will be on Political Jesus.

Rod, your Axe-throwing, Salt Shaking, Everyday Rogue Demon Hunter

Yes.

I heard them today. Love the lyrics.

For starters, I believe that God pushes us (and yes, that is a way of speaking) through Science and Scholarship. Science pushes us to examine our world (and for us panentheists, you know what that means), our universe, and into a deeper philosophical discussion about the nature of reality. I tend to follow the laws of thermodynamics a bit and believe that for now, they define the physical universe. So, sometimes, I sit and mediate upon them and how they tell us about God. Science has pushed us into looking at medicine, miracles, and a host of other issues, which, if we listen, we will see that God is speaking us forward.

Scholarship does much the same thing with Scripture. We struggle with it. Exodus has nearly none to none evidence to support it as the biblical account states it. Genesis has been shown not to be about Creation. Paul didn’t write all the Pauline books. This has propelled our faith forward, and in some ways, backwards (which is sometimes a good thing when you need an anchor). Many of us are moving to a more holistic faith, focusing on Church Tradition while still holding to Scripture. The Spirit dwells in the Church, but only speaks through the Scripture. We are moving to regain a hold in Tradition, some of us, whether it is the Tradition of the Patriarchs or the Reformation. We realize that we have gone far off base with literalism and fundamentalism.

Does God still speak in visions and dreams? Of course. I mean, how else does the Divine inspire us to pursue change, justice, science and scholarship? Further, when we get beyond the patina of our ill-formed traditions, the Spirit can once again speak through the Scripture.

First, Scripture is not written revelation. It is the inspired record of God’s interaction with us.

Second, some Christian traditions raise Tradition up to the level of Scripture. Why? Because Scripture is a subset of Tradition.

I know, I’m not a very good Protestant. That’s okay. I can live with that. Scripture is the basis of the theology of the faith, but Tradition affirmed it as so.

That’s where Canonical Theism comes in at. It provides us with the voice of God who is indeed still speaking. See the works by Jason Vickers. Read the Creeds. Listen to the experience of Church with Reason.

Yup, God is still speaking.

Oh, and I’ve been accepted in Dr. McGrath’s Dr. Who project…

Oh my…. this is funny.

HT – JK from Real World Charleston

Oh, and as he was moving out the door, he put another lie on the table:

 Joel is so ignorant he doesn’t even realize his Christianity is different than the Christianities of the past because of the attacks of the skeptics.

Let’s see… at least one time, and on the very post John links to, I’ve said,

Now, for me, I’ve seen Christianity grow, and count the New Atheists (even those whom, um, are tag alongs) as sort of like prophetic figures who are pushing us to greater heights.

Now, John has admitting lying in the past, among other things, so I don’t put anything past him, but come on… even this is just stupid on his part.

Oh, and I’m not ‘majoring’ in anything at the Master’s level, John. I’m writing my thesis on mimetic criticism while writing a book on mimetic criticism which is neither exegesis nor interpretation. I’m not sure where you went to school at, but they should have taught you better, buddy.

I’m beginning to think that John is so deluded, that he has started to become unconvinced even in his own arguments. That’s why he’s quitting. Because he is convincing himself that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

It wasn’t until the Protestant Reformation in the 16th century that the recording of marriages and establishing of rules for marriage became a function of the state. Martin Luther, the Catholic priest who initiated the Reformation in Germany said that marriage was a “worldly thing … that belongs to the realm of government.” A similar opinion was expressed by John Calvin, his Swiss counterpart. Calvin and his colleagues reformulated Christian marriage by enacting the Marriage Ordinance of Geneva, which imposed “The dual requirements of state registration and church consecration to constitute marriage” as valid.

via Bethany Blankley: How Protestantism Redefined Marriage.

I love posts like this because the titles are always fun.

Luther, of course, allowed for pre-martial sex and polygamy. Good for him, I say.

The presentation of this view has changed radically in recent years, led by hopelessly unlearned people. It has two major features. One is rebellion against traditional Christianity, especially in the form of fundamentalism. The second is the massive contribution of the internet. Unlike published scholarly work, the internet is uncontrolled and apparently uncontrollable. Two of the most influential writers of published work advocating the mythicist view, that is, the view that Jesus was not a historical figure, but rather a myth, appeal directly to an audience on the internet.

via The Jesus Process: Maurice Casey « The New Oxonian.

Good stuff.

Oh yes… good stuff…

This essay is in part an attempt to clarify procedural issues relevant to what is sometimes called the “Christ-myth” or “Non-historicity” thesis—an argumentative approach to the New Testament based on the theory that the historical Jesus of Nazareth did not exist. I have come to regard this thesis as fatally flawed and subject to a variety of objections that are not often highlighted in the academic writings of New Testament scholars.  The failure of scholars to take the “question of Jesus” seriously has resulted in a slight increase in the popularity of the non-historicity thesis, a popularity that—in my view—now threatens to distract biblical studies from the serious business of illuminating the causes,  context and development of early Christianity.

via The Jesus Process: A Consultation on the Historical Jesus « The New Oxonian.

Powerful. Believable.

Synoptic Problem Website: Overview of Proposed Solutions.

Go with Farrer-Goulder-Goodacre.

(Yes, I intend to address this issue and show why they are essentially correct and prove it so that it is no longer a hypothesis, but the… Farrer-Goulder-Goodacre Law).

Carrier follows the religious bias of amateurs as greedily as he does his own mistaken prejudices, rather than relying on competent Jewish scholars such as Amy-Jill Levine, Paula Fredriksen and Geza Vermes, when he opines that ‘The fact that Jesus’ betrayer’s name means “Jew” should already make us suspicious’.

via The Jesus Process: Stephanie Louise Fisher « The New Oxonian.

She might not like me saying this, but I can. It’s my blog. Steph demolishes Carrier so much so that I’ve now become a Carrier-mythicist.

What? You don’t know what I mean? Read the above link.

I know… I know… But it didn’t start under this President.

Here’s the question I would ask to any Protestant considering a move: What are you saying about your past Christian experience by moving to Rome or Constantinople?  

The same thing anyone says about any move in Christianity. That they are growing. 

Are you willing to start going to a Eucharistic table where your Protestant friends are no longer welcome?  How is that different from Peter’s withdrawal from table fellowship with Gentiles?  

Would Peter accept a Eucharistic table with emergents? Cool, if he does, but does he realize how many Protestants are against the Open Table concept? That is has a long standing history in Protestantism? That many churches, sects, and denominations practice the Lord’s Supper being given only to members or members in good standing? Is this all that different? Is it wrong? 

Are you willing to say that every faithful saint you have known is living a sub-Christian existence because they are not in churches that claim apostolic succession, no matter how fruitful their lives have been in faith, hope, and love?  

See the above question and think about how Peter’s post on Catholicism fits into his question. He is saying the exact same thing about Catholics that Catholics, he believes, says about him. 

via Peter J. Leithart » Blog Archive » Too catholic to be Catholic.

There is more in the post, but you’ll have to read it.

I love mirrors, because sometimes, the best ones, are those which we look into and think we are looking at someone else. Peter is not too catholic to be Catholic. He practices much of the same beliefs he sees as pitiful in others.

And honestly, icons are awesome. So is the host. If I could get my home church to put the un-eaten portions of the host into a container for meditation, I would – and don’t think that I haven’t asked, repeatedly.

Scripture isn’t a boundary, but a starting point and a guide. If Peter really feels like the Church can only permit what Scripture explicitly teachers, then he should not be Reformed, or Christian.

“I figured a way to get rid of all the lesbians and queers,” he says in his sermon, delivered on May 13. “Build a great, big, large fence — 150 or 100 mile long — put all the lesbians in there… Do the same thing for the queers and the homosexuals and have that fence electrified so they can’t get out… And you know what, in a few years, they’ll die.” (ht)

Pastor Charles L. Worley of Providence Road Baptist Church — located at 3283 Providence Mill Rd, Maiden, NC 28650 — is seen here from a service posted to the church’s website dated May 13, 2012 calling for the starvation and ultimate death of “queers and homosexuals.”

Also, because Worley needs another angel to help, we have Lesly Charles, an NYPD cop and prophet who utters some pretty disgusting language. He simply responds,

 “I’m just doing God’s work. You know I can’t comment. Have a blessed day.”

Here are a couple.

The first is the firefighter. This cap fits those who only make theology up on the fly, to put down a theological fire by flooding it with war.

The police hat are for those who like their theology well structured. No one steps outside the line. That’s it. Boom.

And of course, my favorite. The Sherlock hate. The theological detective.