Writer Vixen Explains It All

What Do Women Want?

Writer Vixen — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:25:53 -0700

“The great question that I have not yet been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, is, What does a woman want?” —Sigmund Freud A century has passed and Freud’s famous query still echoes. Men ponder it in terms of what women want in a man (of course) and they’re pretty sure it’s confidence, honesty and communication. Dell thinks women want laptops in pretty colors wrapped up with calorie counters and cooking videos masquerading as “tech tips.” Google claims there are over 13,000,000 answers to the question, “What do women want?” Honestly, so much ado over such a simple thing! It will take me 10 seconds to explain it all. Are you ready? HERE'S WHAT WOMEN WANT We want What we want When we want it. Come on . . . you kinda knew that, right? This knowledge has been passed down since the time of the Round Table....

The Updating Game

Writer Vixen — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 21:16:50 -0700

By Gail Collins This entertaining piece by the fabulous Op-Ed columnist Gail Collins ran in The New York Times on 8/28/09. There was a time when people in search of a full and meaningful life were advised to start off each morning by telling themselves: “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.” Now, we get up and hear: “Updates are ready for your computer.” It’s depressing to realize that my computer is more bent on self-improvement than I am. At home, my laptop is so ready to update that it can barely be constrained. The other day, I found three different pleas floating around on the screen. The “Dell Support Center Automatic Upgrade” was the most tempting since it sounded as if the computer wanted to give me a really good seat on a plane. “Effective now,” the announcement continued, “these valuable messages are part of the new Dell Support Center. Dell...

Imaginary Bitches (A Review)

Writer Vixen — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 00:15:00 -0700

Originally published for "Zeitgeist: Quirkyalone Pop Culture" on Quirkyalone.net. Choosing to remain single in a coupled world is sometimes a lonely gig, never more so than when all of your close friends are smugly cocooned in their couple-bubbles. It can make you feel like the last single person on Earth. As once-single friends morph into couples, it often becomes irritatingly apparent that they no longer understand the challenges or perspectives of singledom. You sometimes feel like hitting them over the head, yet you still love them and yearn for common ground to maintain your friendships. This painful conflict is played out to hilarious effect in the engaging Web series Imaginary Bitches. Eden is the last single girl in her circle of friends, refusing to compromise her standards simply to have a boyfriend. After an amazing date with a guy she really likes, Eden calls each of her friends to share her exciting news, but they’re...

Ted Kennedy: End of an Era

Writer Vixen — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 07:54:01 -0700

One of [the good] times was the day in 1986, when he gave niece Caroline away at her wedding to Edwin Schlossberg. "She was so extraordinarily happy and joyous," he said. "And Jackie was absolutely radiant." After the wedding, Jackie wrote Ted a thank-you letter—a token of gratitude for what he’d meant to all the Kennedys over the years. The letter read: There have been 17 children besides your own—Bobby's, Pat's, Jack's and mine, for whom you have always been there. Every graduation, every big decision, every trouble, every sad and even every happy day. On you, the carefree youngest brother, fell a burden a hero would beg to be spared. Sick parents, lost children, desolate wives. You are a hero. Everyone is going to make it, because you are always there with your love. Jackie [From "Ted Kennedy: The Last Brother" | Photo: Stephen Crowley/The New York Times]

Advice: I'm a Night Owl!

Writer Vixen — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:51:26 -0700

Dear Vixen: Sleep. I stay up all night. I don't get sleepy until 4:00, don't FALL asleep until 5:00 and then I get up at 1 or 2 in the afternoon. This would not be a problem EXCEPT . . . I am missing out on auditions (I'm an actress) because I can't haul my a** out of bed! How can I get on a more, uh, “responsible" daytime schedule? I've been on owl-time since college. But now it is screwing up my career. Help! — Literally Sleepless in Seattle a a Dear Sleepless — People will tell you that the world is divided into dog people and cat people. Or into optimists and pessimists. Or into iPhone enthusiasts and BlackBerry lovers. Those people are wrong. There are really only two types of people in the world: early birds and night owls. While early birds are perky and annoying, it’s a well-known fact that night...

Advice: Do I Love Too Much?

Writer Vixen — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:51:14 -0700

Dear Vixen: How far would you go for someone that you love, whether that person be a sibling, a parent, a lover, or a close friend? Would you love someone so much that you give them as much love as you want to give even though you know that their love for you may not be as strong? I think it's safe to say that most people feel that they would never love someone more than they can get back. I used to say that but I've recently realized that I'm not getting as much love back as I'm putting in with more than one of my relationships. I love my father more than he loves me or is willing to admit but I still give him all that I can give. My friends are important to me and I treat them as such, but I'm also sure that I am being taken for granted....

Is it Better to be Married or Single?

Writer Vixen — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 10:55:16 -0700

Originally published as "Defending Marriage . . . and Singledom" for "Zeitgeist: Quirkyalone Pop Culture" at Quirkyalone.net. You’d think it was the first time anyone’s ever gotten a divorce. Sandra Tsing Loh’s recent admission in The Atlantic that she’s divorcing her husband after 20 years (following her own extramarital affair) has ignited a firestorm of high-minded controversy debating the pros and cons of marriage. The story was picked up nationally, with nearly all the major news outlets chiming in online, on air and in print. The particular point of contention is Ms. Loh’s theory that perhaps the reason we have a divorce culture is because we marry too often. Citing “all the abject and swallowed misery” she observes in modern marriage, she wonders, “Why do we still insist on marriage?” Then she really gets down to it, ending her polemic with "a final piece of advice: avoid marriage—or you too may suffer the emotional pain,...

Reality TV Idea #1: "I Complete Me"

Writer Vixen — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 21:19:16 -0700

The following is excerpted from an essay originally published on Onely on 30 July 2009. "Onely: Single and Happy" is a blog that offers fresh perspectives on living solo. It's produced by the dynamic writing duo known as "Lisa and Christina," both of whom hail from the East Coast. They are also the advice columnists for Quirkyalone.net, the newly redesigned online home of the quirkyalone community. Christina and I have decided to pitch our own Reality TV show, called I Complete Me. We don’t have any illusions that anyone will actually take us up on the offer, but just for kicks, here’s what we propose: I Complete Me (alternate title: A Shot at Independence) SUMMARY Instead of forcing (supposedly inept) single people into the world of coupling, (overly dependent and unhealthily) coupled people are forced to navigate the world as singles for a full month. Both members of a pair are ranked and judged against...

The Age Thing (Redux)

Writer Vixen — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 18:09:33 -0700

When I was in my mid-20s I was quite a dish. I was blonde and bubbly and eager-to-please. I tended to believe the things people told me, especially things they told me about me. I didn’t know whether I was smart, mostly because some people thought I was kind of brilliant while others thought—or assumed—that I wasn’t very bright. It was very confusing to me—especially since the fact that I was an outstanding student at top-tier schools seemed somehow irrelevant to this calculus. Around this time I went to a New Year’s Eve party hosted by a hot-shot Wall Street money guy who later did white-collar prison time for insider trading. He lived with his 25-years-younger girlfriend in a Fifth Avenue penthouse with a wraparound view of Manhattan. I was studying architecture at Parsons, and in typical grad student style I’d go pretty much anywhere on the promise of a free meal. So although this...

The Age Thing, or "It Only Hurts When I Lie"

Writer Vixen — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 00:14:20 -0700

By Colleen Wainwright Colleen Wainwright is an LA-based writer-speaker-illuminator who started calling herself “the communicatrix” when she hit three hyphens. An award-winning TV copywriter in a former life, Colleen now spends her time teaching other creative souls how to talk about what they do in a way that wins them attention, work and satisfaction. The following essay was originally published on Communicatrix on 10 July 2006. After my recent stumping for the sisterhood, this is going to sound like a reversalist smackdown, but a story in this Sunday’s LA Times (I know, I know, but I like the ritual of fresh comics in bed) set me off. Big time. And I tried to ignore it—really, I did—but here I am, a day later, still cheesed off. It was more than a story: the Times devoted their entire Sunday magazine to the issue of aging and its attendant hoo-hah in modern society—how we try to stop...

Advice: Found Money

Writer Vixen — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 04:38:43 -0700

True fact: I have an opinion on just about everything. It’s also true that I’m not shy about sharing my opinions with other people, even if they haven’t yet realized that they’re dying to know what I think. In fact, it’s often those who fail to ask who most clearly need the benefit of my extraordinary insights. So how can I resist when someone actually asks for my opinion on a personal dilemma? Although this isn’t technically an advice column, I’m happy to give it a try. Lucy van Pelt doled out psychiatric advice to Charlie Brown for “5 cents please,” so 25 cents seems about right when adjusted for inflation. In the spirit of the Writer Vixen motto (“Often wrong but never in doubt”), I offer the following questionable advice with complete conviction. No refunds. FOUND MONEY Hi Vixen — You say that you “explain it all” and it’s true—you usually do a pretty...

Say Hey (I Love You)

Writer Vixen — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:39:10 -0700

Start off your day with a reggae beat that will put a smile on your face and a bounce in your step. Here’s the flash mob scene from the first episode of the new season of Weeds (to Michael Franti’s “Say Hey (I Love You)”). Enjoy! I say hey I'll be gone today But I'll be back all around the way It seems like everywhere I go The more I see The less I know But I know one thing That I love you I love you I love you I love you __________________________ Twittering vixenish things @WriterVixen