TxtBuff » Funny

SMS Quote Text Message #5513

dirtyoldman — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:56:30 +0000

Teacher: Pedro, how do u handle ur problems? Pedro: I dont boobs it ma’am. Teacher: What do u mean by “you dnt boobs it” Pedro: Hindi q po dinidibdib ma’am… Add TxtBuff on Facebook now!

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SMS Quote Text Message #5512

dirtyoldman — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:56:20 +0000

The blondes at a college were tired of not fitting in. So they pressed the school to set up a new department for them and had their way with the Blonde Education Department. The blondes were ecstatic, that they all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the department which says, ‘I belong in B.E.D.’ Add TxtBuff [...]

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SMS Quote Text Message #5511

dirtyoldman — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:56:10 +0000

Donald Duck walkd into a drugstore & askd for a packet of condoms. ‘Certainly, sir,’ replied the lady behind the counter, ’shall I put them on your bill?’ ‘NO WAY!’ replied Donald Duck, ‘What do you think I am, a Dickhead?!’ Add TxtBuff on Facebook now!

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SMS Quote Text Message #5510

dirtyoldman — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:55:00 +0000

Waking up from a deep, long, & relaxing sleep gives me the ultimate & lasting energy… to sleep again later. Buhay tamad nga naman! Add TxtBuff on Facebook now!

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SMS Quote Text Message #5507

vivs — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 12:17:00 +0000

Gloria and Erap Isang araw, nakasalubong daw ni Gloria si Erap na lasing. Dahil di magkasundo ang dalawa, nauwi ang pagtatagpo sa asaran. Erap: “Pandak! Pandak! Pandak!” Gloria: “Lasing! Lasing! Lasing!” Erap: “Di bale, bukas di na ako lasing, eh ikaw pag gising mo, pandak ka pa rin.” Add TxtBuff on Facebook now!

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SMS Quote Text Message #5506

dirtyoldman — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 00:40:20 +0000

Dad, gusto q ngayon birthday q espesyal ha! Dapat yn message m s akin mato-touch at maiiyak ako..:-) D: Juan, Ampon k!:-S Add TxtBuff on Facebook now!

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SMS Quote Text Message #5499

dirtyoldman — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 00:31:00 +0000

If the American financial crisis continues for 2 more years. Filipinos might start hiring young American domestic helpers. Yehey ang gaganda ng katulong natin! Add TxtBuff on Facebook now!

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SMS Quote Text Message #5498

dirtyoldman — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 00:30:00 +0000

A man walks n2 Victoria’s Secret to buy a sheer negligee for his wife. He opts for the best & pays $500. He gives it to his wife & asks her to model it for him.

Upstairs, wife had an idea, ‘It’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I’ll do the modelling naked, return the sheer & keep the $500 refund for myself.’

She appears naked & strikes a pose for him. Husband says, ‘Good grief! For $500, they should at least iron it.

He never heard the shot.

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SMS Quote Text Message #5497

dirtyoldman — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 00:28:00 +0000

bka my kila2 u girl intrsted mgwork s Purefudz!!
I will rcommend, dmi p bnefits, P15k startng pay w/training & free uni4m, plus meal allownce, aftr 3mos.regular n kya my increase salary, tpos health insurnce & retiremnt bnefits, plus 50% off on all purefudz products, Txt mk0 pg my intersd0,
Rquiremnt:College level, aggrssive,
can multi task & can work flexible hours, no height requiremnt
Bstat wlang PANTY
kz ang work nya
“HULMAHAN NG HOTDOG.”

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SMS Quote Text Message #5494

dirtyoldman — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 00:29:00 +0000

Sister superior at convent says, ‘I found a pair of men’s undies under my desk!’ 20 nuns gasp, but 1 nun goes, ‘Heh, heh, heh…’

She goes on, ‘And I found a used condom on my desk!’ 20 nuns gasp, but 1 nun goes, ‘Heh, heh, heh….!’

‘And finally there was a huge tear in the condom!’ 1 nun gasps, & the 20 goes, ‘Heh, heh, heh..’

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SMS Quote Text Message #5493

dirtyoldman — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 00:28:00 +0000

In a noontym tv program;

host: sa halagang 2thou psos,ano ang sodium chloride?

wyf contestant: ay,hndi ko po alam,gryd 2 lang po ako

host: oki,TIP, i2 ang nilalagay mo sa itlog ng mster nyo
2wing umaga!

wyf: ay alam ko na po!

JOHNSONS BABY POWDER!

NA CENSORED ANG TV SHOW

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SMS Quote Text Message #5492

dirtyoldman — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 00:27:20 +0000

A boy writing a paper on childbirth asks his parents, ‘how was I born?’

MOM: (akwardly) The stork brought you.

BOY: Oh. Well, how wer u & daddy born?

MOM: Oh, the stork brought us, too, & Grandpa & Grandma.

The boy wrote his papar, ‘This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact there hasn’t been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations…’

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SMS Quote Text Message #5491

dirtyoldman — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 00:27:10 +0000

In d beginning there were 2 leaves, 1 covered Adam’s & 1 covered Eve’s, then 1 day those leaves blew away, then in in d wind Adam’s thing started to sway, then in amazement as he stood there, he saw Eve’s treasure all covered with hair, then to Eve’s wondering eyes, Adam’s thing started to rise, so they went at it & at it for days on end, its amazing how many ways people can bend.

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SMS Quote Text Message #5490

dirtyoldman — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 00:26:20 +0000

Question: When do you congratulate someone for their mistake? Answer: On their wedding.. Add TxtBuff on Facebook now!

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SMS Quote Text Message #5485

dirtyoldman — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 00:37:10 +0000

“Secret of happiness”

Whenever y0u have to make a decision,
Listen to y0ur Heart
Then y0ur head
& Then finally Do..
What y0ur WIFE tells y0u to do!

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SMS Quote Text Message #5484

dirtyoldman — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 00:36:00 +0000

A man was hauled before the judge for driving with expired license. The judge listened attentively while the man gave him with a long, plausible explanation. Then the judge said with great courtesy, ‘My dear sir, we are not blaming you.. we’re just fining you.’ Add TxtBuff on Facebook now!

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