on the road

Sell This House: Extreme

RF — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 14:09:51 +0000

I was flipping through the channels this morning on my way to Rawhide, and I heard (and saw) this:

“The kids always come on mom’s side of the bed when they’re sick and they puke.”

Show footage of puke-stained carpet, followed by,

“That’s real puke.”

Excuse me, but has anyone pointed out that there is such a thing as a carpet cleaner? If you don’t know how to use one, read the instructions.

Watching a Febreze commercial

RF — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 13:24:13 +0000

is like tuning in to a hillbilly hoarders reality teevee nightmare. The advertising agency that came up with that idea should be drawn, quartered, and sentenced to grandma’s house for an extensive cleanup of the hoarding mess. The Febreze executives that green-lighted it should be fired.

The bad: I was going to present an imaginary conversation with the company executives, but I figured just one viewing of any of their commercials would be enough to make everyone in the trailer throw up.

The good: If you were stupid enough to buy into the hype, you can walk into your trailer’s bathroom and squeeze one out* to cover up the refined bouquet of the puke.

*No, silly. I was thinking more along the lines of squeezing one out of their fragrant bottles. Although, if one does run out of underwear, one could always Febreze the shit out of it. I guess.

Or, you could Febreze the shit out of the shorts you just paid 125 dollars for.

Electronic Arts Sim City is slow and unplayable

RF — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 20:32:38 +0000

I want my money back.

Sim City is unplayable in its present form. Electronic Arts has no provision for a refund. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, PURCHASE THIS GAME.

Electronic Arts Sim City, in its present form, is unplayble from my location. Electronic Arts DOES NOT give refunds.

In my opinion, this is a giant ripoff to people who have purchased the game.

there are no refunds for products or services purchased on our Websites -Electronic Arts

Since you have to set up an account and log in, that is unforgivable and an obvious ripoff. I want my money back.

Chickenshit O.P.P. (Ontario Political Police)

RF — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 22:04:35 +0000

Apparently, if you’re native, you live in Ontario, and you blockade a road, even a court order directed towards the O.P.P. by a sitting judge means nothing. Unfortunately, if you’re white, marauded by natives and a resident sitting on your own property in Southern Ontario, the Ontario Political Police will remove you from your home and threaten you with imprisonment so as not to disturb the sleeping indians – but that’s another story on the ineffectiveness of law and order in a province besieged by indians and not enough cowboys. What an embarrassment for an actual police department.

What the fuck is with that? Where’s the rule of law?

SanDisk Secure Access USB drive software sucks

RF — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 21:55:16 +0000

SanDisk Secure Access USB drives suck. Buy something else.

SanDisk Secure Access software sucks. It won’t run from the USB drive, even though it ran a few days ago on the same computer, in the same USB port.

Even with current updates to the SanDisk Secure Access USB software, it won’t run. Buy something else.

Not only that, but the SanDisk Secure Access forum HAS NO ANSWERS!

Don’t buy SanDisk trash. You’ll lose access to your data.