There are many facets to being a good leader. One of those facets is language, it’s use and what good leaders say. You’d think those two things would mean the same but they don’t.

Alfonso via Compfight

I’ll take the second point on first. In a video conference I did with some other people I led a discussion on the topic of language on blogs and websites. There are sites that will evaluate your blog, blog post or website and tell you which grade level it seems to be geared towards.

This blog is considered to be geared towards seniors in high school. That sounds pretty good doesn’t it? Well, it is and it isn’t. Contrary to popular belief, just because most people graduated high school doesn’t mean that everything they’ve done since then had kept them at that level of education, even if they went to college. I might bring up concepts here that seem easy to understand to me that might be complicated to someone who doesn’t have the experience or background to fully get it.

So the dilemma becomes do I continue writing at this level because I need to show my expertise or do I bring the level down some so that more people understand? It’s not easy because people who might hire me are more apt to understand the higher level than people at lower levels; that’s been the history so far. Thus, I’ll continue writing at my normal level and hope that if some people don’t understand that they’ll ask me about it; after all, part of writing a blog is establishing conversations.

If you’re a leader in an office full of high school graduates who only wanted to work and nothing else, I can tell you that if you’re always talking to them as if you’re preparing them for year end exams that you’re not going to get much done. Often your language has to drastically change when you’re in educating mode because if people don’t understand you, they’re not going to get things done right and whose fault would that be?

That’s the second part. The first is in choosing what type of language you’re going to use when you’re interacting, aka just talking to people, whether you’re having conversations, doling out reprimands, etc. This is a totally different language, sometimes more crucial than the specific words you use, because what you say could affect the mood of the person you’re talking to, upsetting them by either making them mad or depressed, and whether they understand everything or not you’re not going to get the best out of them. Sometimes you have to upset them but depending on what words you use, the negative effects could be minimized.

I’ve now established that and hope I communicated it well enough. Now comes the easy part; how to do all of this for maximum effect. Here are 3 lessons for you that I hope come out as easy as I expect they should be.

1. Listening is crucial to communicating. If you listen to others you’ll get an idea of how they talk and what they might understand. If you’re smart and talented enough to have been promoted, you’re smart enough to know how to mimic the words and style of the people who you have to communicate with.

2. If you’re teaching, visuals always work great. Sometimes you don’t have a choice in some of the language you use if it’s integral to the work process. Visuals can be as simple as screen prints of a step-by-step process or images of things people have to do that go along with what you have to teach. If you have to tell someone what a coaxial screw is (I don’t know what this is by the way), you can scan a picture of it and write something next to it identifying it.

3. If you have to deliver bad news, no matter what it is, try to rehearse what you’re going to say beforehand. Truthfully, most people aren’t up to the job of talking off the cuff when the situation is going to be stressful. How many politicians stick their feet in their mouths when pressed for comments by the media? Rehearsing up front not only helps you figure out what words to deliver, but gives you the opportunity to be as dispassionate in delivering bad news as possible. You don’t want to seem like you don’t care, but you also don’t want to make anything you say come across as personal animosity towards that person.

I hope those were easy; if not, let me know.
 

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A few days ago I was in an airport trying to get to my next destination. It turns out that the weather was bad all up and down the East Coast, and many flights were being canceled, including mine. However, mine hadn’t yet been canceled as I sat in the area waiting to be called to board my next flight.

Zach Klein via Compfight

But the flight of the guy sitting next to me had been. He’d obviously already had kind of a tough day as his previous flight had been diverted, thus he was sitting in an airport that hadn’t been on his itinerary and unsure of how and when he was going to get to his destination.

He seemed relatively calm as he was petting the seeing eye dog for the woman a seat away from him and talking to her about his problem. Then suddenly he said to the lady at the counter “Hey China Lady, when are you going to do something to get me home?”

That opened my eyes wide; I didn’t see that coming, and I’m not going to go into the stereotype of the good ol’ boy, as he was southern and, well, he seemed to be taking everything in stride, as I’d been doing for the previous 18 hours. But hearing that… I didn’t know what to do.

To her credit the lady at the counter started talking to him as if she hadn’t heard the insult, saying she was sorry but couldn’t control the weather, and if someone ever developed a machine where they could there wouldn’t be anymore canceled flights ever. She said a few more things before walking away, but I didn’t hear any of it.

I was stunned. I felt like I should have said something. Illogically, I felt like I should have known it was coming, but of course I couldn’t have. Truthfully, I hadn’t paid attention to the fact that she was Asian. I was tired and just hoping that I’d have a flight, while betting it was going to get canceled; why should my flight have been singled out, right?

I’ve talked about being alert, or having shields up, when I’m out and about to make sure I don’t react badly to things from people I don’t know. Trying to be prepared for anything that comes at me helped keep me on my toes and ready for almost anything. But there are times when you’re still going to get caught off guard, and that was me. I felt bad for this lady, even though I didn’t know her. He went about his business as though it didn’t mean anything to him, and I knew he hadn’t said what he said out of malice.

And yet I still felt bad because I’ve always felt that if one sees an act of racism and does nothing that they’re helping it to continue. Yet, I thought about it some more and I feel that if she’d taken offense or he’d been more belligerent that I would have stepped in and said something, or tried to help in some fashion; after all, one has to be careful what one does in airports these days.

Things like this will continue happening in this country, and I need to probably learn the lesson of this lady, who not only didn’t react but was as professional as one could be. Maybe with more reactions like hers we can help take away the power of hateful words and phrases and, eventually, the words as well.

At least I can hope for that, since I was caught off guard, probably for the better.
 

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I don’t know why I’m so amazed. After all, my wife has always told me that she doesn’t want to be responsible for anyone but herself when it comes to the work she does. I have seen her teach and help people in many different ways, and always thought that she would be a great leader in any job where she decided that’s what she wanted to be. But over the years I have learned not to bring it up to her, although when I hear her complaining about moves that someone she reports to has done that she doesn’t like I’ll always remind her that she could’ve been in charge. In my opinion it does no good to complain about something if you’re not in a position to change it.

Having said that, I was recently surprised by an answer I received from a bunch of young people on this topic. I was so surprised that I decided to do the video below to cover the topic better. I’ve always acknowledged because of my wife that some people aren’t meant to be leaders. However it never really occurred to me that people who were probably qualified to be leaders, especially young people, would be thinking so far ahead that they decided for other reasons not to be leaders.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that they won’t take a shot at independent work later on, and yet some of them already feel trapped in the jobs they already have that they think they’re never going to be able to do anything else except that specific kind of work.

Why is this an important issue? Because we’ve always talked about the dearth of new leaders and who’s going to run corporations and the country as some of us get older. We also lament that sometimes the people who want to be leaders aren’t the people we want as leaders. If it’s turning out that the people who are qualified to be leaders don’t want the job, I see this as detrimental to society across the board. And yet it’s something to think about and address, which I do in the video below:
 

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This past Saturday I went to visit my mother and we took a trip out to the cemetery where my dad and grandmother are. My dad was a veteran of two wars, and even though he wasn’t killed in war he gave more than 2 decades of his life to the service and that says enough in my opinion.

Often when I go I just hang around Dad’s spot or walk in the area where some of what you see here is sitting. It’s a very calming place that, if it weren’t a cemetery, would be a perfect place to relax in. On this particular day I decided to walk around to take a look at some of the other people interred in this area.

Dad and my grandmother are in an area where tribute is given to military personnel and their family members. As you can see in the one image, my dad’s highest rank is listed on the plaque. While walking around, I could see the ranks of the people who were there. Some were officers, some were non-commissioned officers like dad. It seems that in a cemetery it doesn’t matter what someone’s rank was; if you were in the military and were given an honorable discharge, you belong.

It’s funny that when we think of leadership most of the time we think of the position or title a person has rather than what it is they do. That’s easy to do; heavy lies the head that wears the crown. Still, even in the military, the police force, schools, there are different degrees of leadership depending on what’s being done at that moment.

For instance, when I was the director of patient accounting in a hospital, which to most people is billing, my position reported to the chief financial officer. While he was the de facto leader, truth be told if I wasn’t there and someone in my department needed a question answered, he wasn’t the one who could give them one. If I wasn’t available the CFO would either have to tell the person they would have to wait for me to be available again or would have to ask one of my supervisors for help. Even with the title, if you don’t know anything about the subject what good are you in all instances?

I thought about this while walking around the cemetery. There were a lot of PFCs (private first class) in there, and these are folks with literally no rank other than they got out of boot camp. Thing is, often these young men and women would have to assume the leadership role if no one else was around to make a decision. When it’s a life and death situation, you either make a decision or risk getting killed, and it’s often not only about you.

It’s for reasons like this that I believe everyone should have a dose of leadership training in their lives. The military actually believes this as well; they don’t often say they’re training soldiers, they say they’re training potential leaders. Even if everyone won’t end up in the top job, no matter whether they stay in the military or go on to do something else, the military is often confident that they’re teaching people how to make decisions when needed; that’s one of the biggest leadership skills any person can learn.

Are you giving your non-leaders skills that help them make decisions, ergo possibly putting them on a leadership path? Something to think about.
 

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Many years ago I was in a very interesting spot. I was still a regular employee and there was a time crunch on something that was out of my control for a long time. When I finally had the opportunity to really do something I was told that I had to have the problem solved in 2 weeks.

Scott Maxwell via Compfight

There was no way it could be solved in 2 weeks and I told the person I reported to that very thing. He said he was getting pressure and that he was going to put the pressure on me to get it done. He said there would be no excuses, even though he knew that I had never told him something couldn’t be done before.

How would you have responded?

I sat there for a few seconds thinking about this. I’d been frustrated for months because the powers that be had treated us like hated stepchildren who didn’t matter at all in their lives. I’m as loyal as anyone you’d ever meet but loyalty is a two-way street; I’ve always written that type of thing on this blog.

I hadn’t even been considered for a promotion to the top job in the big city, even though my qualifications and numbers spoke volumes, I’d been handling multiple jobs and I was the highest ranking person in the organization at the time for that job. Not only that but the year before I hadn’t been given the raise I deserved because I’d been told that being above expectations was what was expected of me and that since I had achieved that it was average for me, thus no raise; yeah, right.

I said “If I just up and quit now, walk back to the office, pack my things and go home, do you think you’ll get this done in 2 weeks? Do you think they’ll give you a break because I’m not here any longer?”

Now he had to think about things for a bit. I knew he was feeling a lot of pressure as well and that he was probably in more trouble than me. In the city they had lots of people and consultants to attack their issues; he only had me. And they’d been looking for a reason to take over our little outlying area and, to date, the only thing holding them off was that my department’s performance was much superior to theirs.

He blinked first; I knew he would. He asked that if I could have 3 weeks and any resources whatsoever could I get it done. I told him I needed until the next morning to think about it and consult with my supervisors before I told him our plan. Frankly, I didn’t have a real plan at that moment because the initial news had caught me off guard; we’d been waiting for a resolution for 11 months at this point.

Of course my supervisors and I came up with a plan that involved unlimited overtime, part time personnel to handle certain tasks, and a lot of paper; don’t ask. The thing is, I recognized that in some fashion the potential fiasco would be blamed on me for nondelivery, even after all my years of service, and that I was going to play my hand up front, knowing more about the issues than most people thought I knew. Sometimes you have to be willing to take a stand for yourself and your cause, especially if you’ve evaluated the situation enough to know your own value.

Would I have walked? Indeed! As some would say in a heartbeat, never threaten anything you’re not ready follow through on. At that time I didn’t own a home yet, had saved up a lot of money, and was a pretty hot commodity as I’d turned down 3 other jobs because I liked where I was. But things had been changing and I wasn’t sure I trusted a lot of top suits who were promising something one day and changing it up the next. When people stop being honest… you know…

Back to my question; how would you have responded? Would you have been prepared enough to make a proper decision? Would you have calculated your own worth to make the right decision? What I did might not have been what you could have done but as the old Boy Scout motto warned, “Always Be Prepared”. Let me know in the comments below.
 

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“I have a unique set of skills which I have acquired over many years…” Liam Neeson in Taken

I am an independent consultant. Come June I’ll have been a consultant for 12 years. Most people who try to work for themselves don’t make it to 3 years, let alone 12, and even though all of those years haven’t been spectacular, I’m still here.

dollie_mixtures via Compfight

In every situation I’ve undertaken I’ve either been in a leadership position or in an independent position where I’ve had some authority. I haven’t been a worker, if you will, since 1995, and in the last 30 years I’ve only been a worker for 5 of them.

Thus, it’s easy to get into a mindset that I could be above certain things here and there. I see it happen with other people all the time, where they get to a certain level and believe that allows them to behave in ways that aren’t conducive to even being a nice person, let alone missing opportunities that might come their way that are somewhat different than what they’re used to.

It’s that kind of mindset I had to overcome recently. I’m presently working out of town on a short term project where, because I have some of those unique skills that were alluded to above, I get to step into a spot where I don’t have to be the one making decisions or the one saving the world. Instead, I get to apply my particular set of skills to a job that a few other people are also doing in a role helping a hospital department get its bearings back as they’ve been short handed for awhile.

It’s a gig that I almost turned down because of that other word I mentioned, entitlement. Stepping into a role that I’d never even heard of, not being in charge, not being responsible for anything except showing up and helping out… was I above this? Just who did I think I was anyway? After all, the pay is pretty good (very good) for the work I’m doing, thanks to those unique skills again.

It’s a much different environment than one I went into 9 years ago when two hospitals were struggling with issues and someone gave me some papers to do some data entry. And I refused to do it, saying I wasn’t being paid the amount of money I was getting to do data entry work. I was ready to go home but the true powers that be agreed with me and let me do what needed to be done, and man, there was a lot to be done.

I’ve stated often that something true leaders need to figure out is when to step in and lend a helping hand. Whereas most of the time leaders aren’t supposed to be consistent workers, in the sense that they should spend more time leading than doing the same work as everyone else, sometimes that extra hand is crucial in getting things done.

As I thought back on my previous life, before I was a consultant but was in leadership positions, because of those unique set of skills I was able to sit down every once in awhile and send out some claims, register some patients, post some payment vouchers, even make some collection calls when my departments and employees needed some help because something else had gotten in the way of things running well. At those times I didn’t sit there thinking “I’m management, so that’s not my job.” I thought “We need to get the work done, I know how to help and that’s what I’m going to do.”

How do you view the work you do if you’re in a leadership position? Are you capable and willing to sit down and help when it’s needed, or do you feel you’re above that type of thing? I’m glad I decided I wasn’t because I’m in a city I’ve never been to before, staying in a top class hotel, and getting paid nicely not to have any real stress for a couple of months. I don’t want to do this on a consistent basis, but right now it’s feeling like a nice break from the norm.
 

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There’s an interesting thing to think about concerning the term “worth” when you try to apply it to yourself. There’s no way to think of it in one way; if you do, you’ll most certainly fail; most people only think about it in one way.

Ludovic Bertron via Compfight

There’s actually three things one has to think about. The first is “self worth”, which is what you feel you’re worth as far as taking care of yourself, your happiness, etc. The second is “financial worth”, which is how much money and assets you have. The third is “business worth”, which is figuring out how much you should be worth in your chosen profession, based on any parameters you can think of, especially reality. Let’s look at these more deeply.

I tend to believe financial worth is the easiest one to figure out. All this one takes is knowing how much money you make, what your assets are such as furniture, jewelry, money in the bank, etc. This one might be depressing sometimes or it might give you something to shoot for, but it’s fairly straightforward and the one most people concern themselves with.

The second is self worth, and it should be easy to figure out but it’s not. Most of us don’t think about it or want to think about it. I think about it all the time, but I know I don’t do enough to take care of it. I might plan a workout schedule for myself but if it’s cold in the morning or I didn’t sleep well I’m probably not going to do it. I do take care of the mental part for my self worth, as I’m always accumulating more knowledge and information so that’s good. But the way I eat… moving on.

Business worth is the hardest because some people value themselves more than the market can bear or less than what their skills should be earning them. For instance, I don’t think anyone would disagree that both teachers and people in the military should be getting more money than they do. However, it’s an industry with so many bodies needed that there’s no way to sustain it if they really got paid what they’re worth. If there were fewer teachers or soldiers they’d make more money, but it wouldn’t address the greater good.

The reverse can apply to people who do coaching (non-sports), any type of coaching. Rates can go anywhere from $100 a month for 4 sessions up to $20,000 a month if you have someone like Tony Robbins talking to you. Of course it’s hard enough to figure out how to value yourself when those who might need or want to use your services have no idea how to value what you do. Quite confusing indeed.

Is this something some of you think about from time to time? If not, is it because it’s scary to think about or that you’ve never considered it before? Now that I’ve brought it up, what do you think?
 

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This is going to surprise some people, but even though I’ve worked for myself for nearly 12 years, I’ve had a couple of occasions here and there to interview for a regular job. Sometimes you see an opportunity, realize that the money’s not bad and the benefits might be great and, well, if it’s local that can add to it.

Thomas Shahan via Compfight

Unfortunately, things haven’t gone well with either interview. Actually, that’s not quite accurate. Things went great with the first interview and not so great with the second interview. Not getting the position either time had nothing to do with me and yet did have something to do with me. Those hiring made assumptions that I couldn’t overcome. Both left me with assumptions about them that I can’t overcome. Let’s look at them.

I had all the qualifications needed for the first potential job. I had a phone interview with them because it would have been a traveling position, though my home office could be, well, at home. The interview went for 45 minutes. It was great as far as I was concerned. I was able to easily respond to every question, I was engaged with the lady who was doing the interview, and when it ended I felt like at the very least I had earned a second interview, if not clinched it outright.

A week later I received an email saying I wasn’t qualified for the job. What the hey? Of course I was qualified for the job. The resume had said I was qualified; the interview proved I was qualified. What went wrong? Turns out the company wanted someone who’d been a consultant for a large company, not an independent consultant. I was informed of that by a recruiter. I said that was on my resume, so why did they still interview me. She said she didn’t know, but it might not have been on the initial list. Time wasted, and I was left with a bad taste in my mouth and an assumption of the type of person large consulting companies might want.

The interview for the second position went much differently. Once again, I easily had the qualifications for the position. And in this case I knew people who worked at the company. Human resources called me and booked the interview time; truthfully I have to admit that I didn’t expect to get the interview, even though I knew people there. You’ll soon see why and understand where assumptions come into play.

I showed up for the interview 10 minutes early; it was at 8AM. I walked in, gave my name, and sat down. It was 25 minutes later when someone came to get me, and as she greeted me she was calling me by a different name. I said that wasn’t my name and she said we’d clear things up when we got to her office. Once there, she looked at her paperwork then asked if I was there for the housekeeping position; if you don’t know by now, I’m black.

I indicated the position I was actually there for and, though things were cleared up, I knew I was in trouble. It wasn’t a leadership position but an independent position that would have some authority. I knew going in that there was no black leadership working there; I can’t even say if they’ve ever had any. Still, the interview proceeded and it seemed to be going okay. Then I was asked to watch a video to tell me more about the hospital philosophy. As I watched this 4-minute video, my mind kept repeating the same thing over and over: “no black people, no black people, no black people…”

Once that was over I was told to go to another location so I could meet the person the position would be responsible to. I drove over there, parked, and went inside the building. There was a woman at the greeting window doing something; I’m not sure what. I stood there for 3 minutes; yes, 3 minutes. She never looked up and I felt, once again, ignored. This isn’t something that everyone will deal with in this fashion in their lives, but there are times when, being the only minority in the room, you know people are working hard “not” to see you. Well, I’m 6-foot tall, was wearing a suit and tie, and I’m big enough not to be able to miss. And, this is the greeting window after all.

I finally said something and she looked up saying she didn’t see me standing there… no comment. Then she called the person I was supposed to meet and I went up the elevator to meet this person. Turned out we had met, though we couldn’t identify where. We went into her office, after she introduced me to the other people in the office and showed me where I’d be if I got the position, and it began.

It was a strange interview. She told me what the position was, then told me her thoughts about what she hoped the position would be. I told her that’s what I always thought the position should encompass anyway. Then for the next 10 minutes or so she asked questions and posed scenarios as if she was trying to discourage me from being interested in it. That was even a direct question, why would I be interested in that position when I’d done so many other things. I answered it best I could, but I already knew where things were going. This was confirmed as I was leaving when she told me there was a strong candidate who was already employed elsewhere; c’est la vie.

Steve Jurvetson via Compfight

I knew I wasn’t getting that position, though it took them 2 weeks to tell me so. I’m thinking I don’t have to tell you what my assumption was as to why I didn’t get it, but I also believe I’ve shared enough of the story so you can see what their overall assumptions about me had to be.

I didn’t write all this for sympathy, but for the lessons it teaches us. All of us make assumptions, good or bad. My assumptions going in was that I would have a fair shot at both positions and that my resume and background were at least the equal of any other person’s background. The assumptions that others had were their preconceived notions of what they wanted, at the exclusion of anything else. And my assumptions at the end of each left me with negative impressions in the fairness of companies and their processes sometimes, as well as… well, I don’t think I have to write it down to go there.

If you’re making assumptions to be exclusionary, stop it. It’s not fair and it can be detrimental to you or your company in the long run. If someone fits general criteria that’s set up to make sure you get qualified candidates, that’s one thing. Once you have qualified candidates, if you don’t give them all a fair chance then you’ve failed as a leader and as a human being.

Frankly, I couldn’t live with myself if I did it; can you?
 

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Back in December 2010 I wrote a post talking about my leadership series Keys To Leadership, which you see there on the left for purchase. The article talked about the live seminars and told a story about how I came to record them.

Two years earlier I actually put the 15 total points that the series covered in a post that I thought would get some traction, but I probably should have known better. It was November 2008, just after the general election that swept President Obama into office, and I posted the 15 points and asked people to evaluate soon to be former President Bush on them. Instead, people stayed away from it in droves; it got a few reads, but overall, it wasn’t very popular.

I thought it was time to revisit at least the topics of the post but with a different request. Instead of looking to evaluate someone else, I’d like you to give an honest evaluation of the 15 points as they relate to either you as a leader or your thoughts on how you feel about each point as it relates to leaders you’d like to work with.

In my seminar series, I have stories and my own points of view for each of these, so I’m not going to rehash all of those here. However, this past December I did tell a story that related to point #2 on this list when I talked about Deliveries. There’s also a video on that post, as it was easier to recount it all that way.

Here you go; what are your thoughts on each point?

1. Position doesn’t make the leader, the leader makes him or herself

15. Don’t be afraid to lead
 

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Leadership can feel like a lonely place, especially if you’re in a middle management position where you have to deal with both people who report to you and people you report to. Why do leaders get paid the big bucks? Because the pressure is greater. It’s not only dependent on their talent; it’s dependent on the talent of others, and if not properly used results can be disastrous.

Marines via Compfight

With that being said, leadership shouldn’t be seen as something to run away from. Sure, there are some people who are born leaders, or natural leaders if you prefer. But there are many leaders who have picked up some things here and there from mentors or coaches and turned themselves into great leaders. And there are some who have learned all of the five thoughts below, which helps one console themselves when things seem rough.

1. Give Yourself Opportunities To Improve

Yes, you’ll have to do some work, but it’s not all bad. There are lots of books on leadership, seminars, organizations, executive coaches and even some people who work where you do who you can talk to and get advice from. Your issues aren’t unique; trust me on this one. There may be variations on a theme but everything you might go through, someone else has already been there.

2. Stay Relaxed; No One Can Do It All

If one person could do it all there wouldn’t be such a thing as employees. Throughout history, there have been those who lead and those who do a lot of the work. There have also been specialists or higher leaders who give guidance and help along the way. You might feel that the pressure is on you to perform, and you’re probably correct. But it’s not on you, unless you work for yourself, to do it all by yourself. Help is always around; you just have to know where to find it.

3. Realize You’re Not Alone

Above I said leadership can feel like a lonely place instead of saying it’s a lonely job. In many businesses your position just might be unique where you’re employed. However, there are probably other businesses that do something like what you do, if not the exact same thing, which means there are probably networking groups you can join and then have others you can talk to and commiserate with.

4. Don’t Be Afraid To Evaluate Yourself

When people don’t know things, or when things seem to be going wrong or are difficult, people tend to not want to look within themselves to see what they’re made of. Self evaluation lets you know whether you’re really up to the task and are just scared or whether you need to learn more or ask for help to get things done. This is one of those times when too much pride can hold you back. If you need to ask someone else to help you evaluate yourself, do it; just make sure you ask the right person.

5. Don’t Be Afraid To Stand Up For Yourself When You’re Right Or Accept Criticism When You May Be Wrong

Everyone won’t agree with you but often people will think their way is more correct than yours. Sometimes they could be right, but if they don’t have all the information you have or the expertise you have don’t defer to them, even if they’re in a superior position to yours. Stick to your guns and argue your position.

Even if you get overruled, your ideas might prove to be right, in which case you’ll gain a lot of credibility the next time something comes up. And if the other suggestion works, it doesn’t mean that you were wrong, but it could mean that maybe you should have thought more on why the other thing worked so well. And if it could have gone either way… hey, that’s life!
 

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