Lost Together

A (borrowed) manifesto

2010-07-28T10:05:00.002-04:00

I'm on week 2 of bronchitis and it is taking its sweet time going away - I suppose I provide a comfortable home for it or something. My focus is a little short these days, thanks to some awesome cough medicine and so I haven't been great about writing my own stuff. I'm hopeful that will change shortly. In the interim I offer you a manifesto I found on a greeting card:

Change the rules.
Dream big.
Keep your eye on the moment.
Learning is a muddy business.
Expect to get messy.
Lead with your heart.
Detours can become main roads.
Everyone needs a big eraser.
Add relish.
Play fair.
Sometimes you find buried treasure when you're out looking for worms.
There are lots of different ways to get there from here.
You can learn from the stupidest things.
How is more important than what.
If you wait until you're ready you'll never suit up for the game.
Get out of your own way.
Kindness counts.
Be thankful.

Right when you need it...

2010-07-21T21:29:00.003-04:00

It's funny, the last few weeks I have had several blog posts rolling around my noggin and yet every time I have sat down to write them the words have moved just out of reach. And then earlier this week a trip to my sports medicine doctor revealed that apart from the scar tissue growing unhappily (for me) in my knee, there is a strong possibility that I have torn the meniscus. In my twice reconstructed knee. Now this is hardly the end of the world though I'd be lying if I didn't admit a third knee surgery is discouraging and disheartening.

So I've been feeling a little bummed.

And then right when I need it, I find a link on Facebook from a friend (Steph). The words aren't going to heal my torn meniscus but they will provide those simultaneous anchoring and setting spirit free feelings we all need and crave.

In case you need it, here it is. It is called the manifesto of encouragement and can be found at White Hot Truth:

right now:

There are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.

Someone you haven't met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.

Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.

Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God's children.

A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, "nourish them."

Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you. Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie. Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you -- for free.

Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on.

The next great song is being rehearsed.

Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth.

Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.

Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they'll be thriving like never before. They just can't see it from where they're at.

Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want -- and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in it's reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all "So worth the wait."

Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche -- this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.

Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.

Someone is fighting the fight so that you don't have to.

Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail, and your garbage is picked up, that the trains are running on time, and that you are generally safe. Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water.

Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Someone is curing the incurable.

The value of time and perspective

2010-07-10T20:49:00.002-04:00

Do you remember those emotion-filled days after September 11th? It felt as though the world had gone crazy and everything we knew was proven to be wrong. In popular media there was a rush to provide perspectve and understanding. And yet the wounds were too fresh, the disbelief too strong to make sense of anything.

I flew to Europe on one of the first flights once the skies had re-opened. Everything felt different and people everywhere were taking longer looks at each other, wanting to know who was in their city and their neighbourhood. It was a feeling I have not experienced since that time and trust me when I tell you I have been around the world a few times since 2011.

While I was in Europe, the television show, the West Wing, opted to delay the start of its third season and in its place showed a special stand alone episode "Issac and Ishmael". It was Aaron Sorkin's attempt to bring some sanity to the myriad of debates raging unchecked in the public and private spheres.

I remember watching it when I returned and partially dreading it because after all the weeks of non-stop discourse on Islam, fundamentalism, terrorism, foreign policy etc, I was tired of it. But I watched it anyways. And I didn't like it. I found it simple and a bit messy. I filed it away and waited with great anticipation for the real start of Season 3.

I recently had a chance to watch that episode again (yes, I own every season of the West Wing) and almost 10 years later, here's the thing:

Aaron Sorkin is a freaking genius.

GENIUS.

All my complaints that I had about that episode were temporary and no doubt informed by the media noise filling all available airwaves at the time.

But now, the simplicity I derided reveals its brilliance. It is a stunning episode and provides more context and colour than anyone could possibly expect an hour long television show to do.

If you don't believe me, check out this line:

"Islamic fundamentalism is to Islam what the KKK is to Christianity."

It is a profoundly powerful testament to the need and importance of smart television - smart entertainment period.

It is amazing the lenses that both time and perspective provide.

Wise words

2010-06-25T21:59:00.002-04:00

The last few weeks have been filled with conversations about falling in love, staying in love, finding love and losing love - and zoe sent along today a most honest quote about love from Captain Corelli's Mandolin:

When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No...don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of use can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it?

But it is.

Random Musings

2010-06-19T14:44:00.005-04:00

1. How is it people consider themselves to be in a possession of a strong world view when the only culture they can speak knowledgeably on is is their own? It's a big wide world out there - stop comparing everything to your culture and use the time instead to understand how the rest of the world operates.

2. Drama. Why is it there are some people who can't live without it? And in the absence of any real drama in their lives do their level best to manufacture it? And do so to the point they can no longer tell the difference between drama and a real crisis. It's modern day wolf-crying. And like the fable, when the resident drama queens and kings hit a real situation, a real crisis no one will come to their aid.

3. The loudest voice in the room is not necessarily the most credible. Just because some talks a lot does not actually mean they know what they are talking about. In the cacophony of talking heads on television and in your life, look for those who are quieter, reflective and tend to offer opinions and advice when appropriate. Chances are they actually know what they are talking about.

4.How is it that some people are willing to overlook others lack of credibility or substance or honesty because of what that person can do for them? Or advance their career? Does that wilful overlooking not also then speak to the values of the overlooker?

5. How people treat you is their karma, how you react to it is yours. This is one of the most profound quotes I've read in a long time. And so true. We cannot control how others treat us but we can control what we do with it (and yes, there is some conflict between this point and the one above - that's the nature of the musings being random)

6. The raspberry lemon drop at Milestones might possibly be the best summer drink ever.

7. I miss Dublin. I'm back there in two months and have much work to do before I get there but I miss it all the same. The rhythm of the city, the easy smiles of the people, my favourite haunts all over the city and even the taxi drivers who will talk your ear off - I miss it all.

ps - welcome to the new look blog. the photos above are mine, with two exceptions. The photos of me and of SF at sunset are taken by the uber-talented zoe.

Work in Progress

2010-06-16T08:31:00.002-04:00

Hi all -

I'm changing things up in here and it will take me a few days to get it all sorted - please be patient.

Cheers!

Pinkie does the Middle East

2010-05-31T20:29:00.004-04:00

I have, as mentioned a few times in this space, an interesting job. Said interesting job took me to 10 countries in 4 months this year and while I know that sounds exciting but in this world of crackberries it meant I was literally working across time zones (except for Syria. Bless them and their blackberry network hating ways) which made appreciating the local sites not always an easy thing.

I was fortunate enough to spend three weeks in the Middle East (Lebanon, Syria and the UAE). And in the spirit of sharing (and notice I said sharing and not over sharing.) I thought I would pass along a few observations and tips in case you find yourself winging your way out there:

1. Do you wear seatbelts in taxis? If not, please consider putting one on when riding in a taxi in Beirut.

2. Do you close your eyes in taxis? Please consider doing so in Beirut only after having attached your seatbelt.

3. It is impolite to tell the taxi driver he is driving the wrong way down a one-way street. He knows. He just doesn't care.

4. While in Beirut if you are not wearing some kind of bedazzled or bejewelled outfit in the morning you are underdressed.

5. There are no limits to hair height in Beirut. Nor are their limits to the quantity of makeup worn.

6. Kibbeh is raw meat. Kibbeh tastes nothing like tartar and in fact is very good when rolled in a freshly baked pita and drizzled with olive oil.

7. I have now learned that truly jaw-droppingly good pita bread feels like velvet on the inside. I have also learned that you will get many stares if you stroke and mumble things like "mmmm. so soft."

8. In the Middle East dinner often ends with platters of fruit. It's generally more fruit than the produce section at Loblaws. It's also delicious. Everything is locally grown and oh so awesomely good. Do not a) try to eat it all b) pick a lemon and sniff it (that's right Maha, I'm looking at you)

9. When in Damscus and walking the Old City looking for the Spice Souq, best just to sniff. Your nose knows.

10. Previous readers of this space will know that a trip to Argentina resulted in a love affair with Volta ice cream. Well Volta, I'm sorry but I'm breaking up with you. If you've not had ice cream in Damascus - hand rolled and then covered in fresh crushed pistachios, you have no freaking clue what real ice cream should taste like.

11. Having travelled to well over 50 countries and having touched every continent but Antarctica, I am well aware of my blondness and my pinkness. I have had all kinds of fun experiences with people unaccustomed to the pinkness. But Palmyra takes the cake! Arriving at the ancient ruins, I was spotted by two 11 year old boys who said hello and then told me they loved me. I was then swarmed by a group of school children who wanted pictures. Gaga has nothing on me!

12. What happens when you choose to film a movie about Cleopatra at a castle built by Crusaders? Lots of plastic fake Egyptian crap amid Crusade relics. Weird.

13. You can, with much hand pointing and miming, order the best shewarma of your life from a man who speaks no English. If you are going to Damascus, drop me a line and I will tell you where to get one.

14. Coffee purchased on the side of the highway in Damsacus is almost as good as the ice cream. I think they put crack in it.

15. As discovered at dinner one night, it appears I may have a dictator fetish. Pictures of the leader of Syria are everywhere. He's waving in some, menacing in others and downright commanding in others after that. He's tall. And kind of attractive. I mentioned that out loud at dinner and thus Leaderman became my boyfriend. You can play quite the fun game trying to spot all the pictures of my boyfriend throughout the country. Extra points if you find the pictures of him attached to cars.

16. The dumb blonde act works in dire circumstances. Like in an airport.

17. Dubai is....void.

18. But it feels less void when you meet a friend's family and they are some of the coolest people you have met in a long time. (and they serve you the most awesome home-cooked dinner after a month of hotel/restaurant food.)

19. I picked up several words of arabic including how to say thank you, no, definitely, and cartoon. The arabic word for cartoon is...cartoon. But with an accent.

20. Bagdad Cafe on the road to Palmyra is hella cool.

Pictures of my travels can be found at www.flickr.com/mcsmartypants

Marking the milestone

2010-05-23T13:34:00.003-04:00

"Your birthday marks the first day you start making a contribution to the world"
JT to me, several years ago.

This year, as mentioned before, is a milestone birthday for me and I have been contemplating the different ways to mark it and who I would like to share in it. There are some tentative plans for celebrations in a few of my favourite cities where drinks and laughs and good times will abound.

I've also been in search for a meaningful activity - one that will marry the issues that matter to me with the celebration.

On September 12, as part of the Santa Monica 5000, I will be running in the 10km race as part of the Run for Congo Women. The funds raised will go to helping women in the DRC, who have been victims of the worst sexual violence in the world, rebuild their lives through counselling, job skills training and education.

If you would like to donate - please click the link below:
http://www.active.com/donate/RFCWteamsm50002010/mcsmartypants

If you would like to join me in Los Angeles on September 12, drop me a line.

A thought

2010-05-19T21:30:00.001-04:00

Some wise words (not mine):
There are times in our lives when we feel knocked down, unable to get up. Then what, do we do? We are infinite choice makers, no matter what the hurt. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional - The choice is simple - have the courage to rise again and respect for thy self to place one foot in front of the other..the path will unfold

Being Bountiful in Challenging Times

2010-05-06T21:29:00.004-04:00

I'm not feeling very bountiful these days - exhaustion, heartbreak and mounting stress are not conducive to it. But I found this posting on being bountiful at www.cosmiccowgirls.com and while I'm not there yet, just reading it is a bit of a balm for the weary brain. And maybe, just maybe, if I read it often enough in the coming days it will become reality. Wishing you all bountiful-ness too.

Bountiful is a way of being.
Bountiful is something we choose to be no matter what.
Bountiful is a place within that we cultivate over time.
We cannot always choose our circumstances.
And we cannot always choose our responses in the moment,
as hard as we may try.
Bountiful is something that comes after
things have been hard and doors have closed.
It is what we do with what we have.
It is how we create who we can be in the world.
It is a decision to be a blessing to others.
If we just evaluate what we have and own,
and who we have been up till now and measure
it against the world measuring stick -
we may not feel bountiful at all.
We may feel downright discouraged.
That is why we have to choose
to be bountiful no matter what.
We get to choose creativity and personal peace,
this is a gift from the Creator;
to be able to find bliss in chaos.

Bountiful is
a spiritual practice, a love ritual, a peace offering,
and powerful tool for healing.

©2009 Shiloh Sophia McCloud

More Music

2010-05-01T09:44:00.003-04:00

I have so much to write about regarding my trip to the Middle East but the brain is overfull at the moment with other thoughts that writing is a little slow these days. I do promise photos and stories to follow. In the interim, here are two songs that are in heavy rotation on the Ipod. The first one has two of my favourite lines:

- how can you stand next to the truth and not see it?
- the right to be ridiculous is something I hold dear

And the second song is just such goodness from Ms. Stevie

Current Headspace & Heartspace

2010-04-26T08:34:00.002-04:00

Food for thought

2010-04-18T10:37:00.001-04:00

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,

while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

-Lao Tzu

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

2010-04-12T12:35:00.002-04:00

A couple of weeks ago while hanging with Trixie in NYC we were discussing songs for a charcter in development. As we bantered back and forth as to which would be the most appropriate song for the character to sing, she suggested Ain't No Mountain High Enough. It was a perfect selection and after having told her that I reminded her that I loved that song (she really didn't need the reminding - Trixie is pretty swift of the uptake!)

But as I have spent a lot of time on planes lately and the song is in regular rotation on my iPod, it got me thinking (quelle surprise, I know. But this is me we are talking about, I wake up thinking)about why I love this song. So I played it over and over listening to it - really listening to it. And there are a few things that come to mind:

a) The music itself is awesome. You can move to it and you can groove to it.

b) It is hard to top Marvin Gaye's voice. Smooth is just the beginning.

c) The lyrics. I'll be there in a hurry, you don't have to worry. No matter where you are, no matter how far. There ain't no mountain high enough to keep me away from you.

And isn't that what we're looking for? Isn't that what we are in search of both in romance and in friendship. Those connections with people, that reminder that we matter to someone.

Have you ever made that list in your head? The one of people you'd call if the shit hit the fan? I have - a few times and what is surprising is how small the list is. But it should be small. Those people for whom there ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough to keep them away from us are few and far between. If you think about - really think about it - who do you want by your side? Who can you count on? For whom would you scale great heights to get to?

In the last few months I've been really focused on wanting someone to feel that way about me, in fact probably deluded myself into thinking they did, and when the reality set in that they probably don't, I felt sorry for myself. Like ate those yummy thai spice and coriander chips from M&S sorry for myself. I felt as though in not having this person feel this way, I had no one who did. But through a series of reminders from the universe, I know now, unequivocally, I do have people in my life like that, always have.

And I have people that I love that I would scale Everest for if that was what was needed.

How lucky am I?

How lucky are you?

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On the road (again)

2010-04-11T08:10:00.005-04:00

I am on a loooooong business trip. I will miss the entire month of April at home and while on the road working, I also have four assignments to finish for school and two exams to study for.

Sleep deprivation and jet lag don't even begin to cover my current state.

But in 6 weeks I will be halfway through my Masters' program - something I could not even imagine when I found my way to campus on that first Friday in August.

And though I am defying gravity for all of April and much of May I have had some really wonderful experiences along the way:

1) I got to travel with a colleague of mine who is inspirational in her unequivocal knowledge of both herself and her work.

2) I spent a lovely evening enjoying cocktails with said colleague and a man who is impressive with his honesty, his fairness and his wicked-ass sense of humour.

3) I sat on a bench in Grosvenor Square reading (corporate finance but whatever...) and just enjoyed the sounds of London waking up. I have been travelling to London for 20 years now (god does that make me old or what???) and I love it still. (Attention London-employers - HIRE ME!)

4) Dublin is home away from home. The staff at the hotel know me and even a salesperson at Brown Thomas remembers me.

5) Very few things in this life are better than strolling along Nassau street on the way to the DART with U2 singing in my ears

6) But one of the things that is better, Irish Whiskey. 18 years has never looked or tasted so good!

7) And the best experience of all is that I love school. I really like my professors and really, really like my classmates. Who better to understand the insanity of all this than the person who is doing it with you?

Loves to all

(Don't) Be Stupid

2010-04-02T11:26:00.006-04:00

During a recent trip to New York City I did the obligatory walk down Fifth Avenue, on my way to Tiffany's, when I walked by the Diesel store proudly displaying its new advertising campaign:

Really?

We are living in an age where, despite all the technology available, people are less engaged not more. The world, in case no one has noticed, is on fire. We have crises in the Sudan and the DRC, we are fighting a war in Afghanistan that is not only un-winable, we wouldn't know what winning looks like. We have the erosion of democracy - the very thing we are supposed to be "exporting" to Afghanistan and Iraq and that which we gleefully admonish China for not having - here in Canada and in the United States. We are in a time where we need discourse and debate and leadership; we need less of the likes of Ann Coulter, Lowell Green and Glenn Beck and more of those willing to both speak and listen.

We need to be less obsessed with drugged out starlets and philandering athletes and yet what does a leading clothing company, targeting the 18-30ish market do?

Tells us to be stupid. Tells us stupid is romantic.

When did stupid become something we celebrate? When did being intelligent, informed, engaged and contributing become something to be sneered at? Why do politicians refer to those who demand better as elitist and not representing the views of the average ?

What is so great about average?

The greatest accomplishments in humanity were not done through mediocrity or by being average. They were achieved by those who reached for more, who demanded better of themselves and those around them.

The fall of the Berlin Wall may have begun with "average" Germans but it was an extraordinary effort. Those who set its fall in motion rose above the shackles of being average.

Being smart, being present, wanting more and better should be what we are celebrating. We need to encourage everyone to discovery their extraordinary ability and use it for the benefit of us all.

Shame on you Diesel for using your place in pop culture to drive home a message we could sincerely do without.

Be stupid?

Don't do it.

An amazing night!

2010-03-15T11:20:00.003-04:00

The second year of V-Day in the Capital is now done and I wanted to take an opportunity to thank all my friends and my family for their support, kindness, encouragement and help to make the night the success it was.

It is an event that has been months in the making and not easily done with planning often taking place with several time zones in the way. We were so fortunate with so many helping hands including friends and volunteers the night of.

Our cast was so talented and passionate: Erin Blaskie, Katherine Dines, Adrian Harewood, Alan Neal, Oni the Haitian Sensation, Sarah Onyango, Kerry Pither, Jason Tetro and Bill Welychka. I am incredibly grateful to them for their participation and the generous gift of their time!

Below is the speech I gave on Saturday.

Thanks again to all!

****
Good evening I’m Laurie Kempton and on behalf of V-Day in the Capital I am very pleased to welcome you to the second annual production of A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant and A Prayer.

Tonight you will hear stories about violence against women as read by our amazing cast. They are powerful, heartbreaking and hopeful.

Our theme tonight is about changing the story of women and girls. And we are pleased to be raising money for three organizations that are dedicated to doing exactly that.

Family Services Ottawa – has been serving Ottawa families since 1914. They work with individuals, communities, and families in all their forms, who are currently in distress or at risk. And they assist people to build on their strengths and move forward by providing counselling, education, and advocacy within a context of systemic change

CARE Canada – CARE is Canada's global force dedicated to defending dignity and fighting poverty by empowering the world's most vulnerable and greatest resource for change: women and girls. CARE was the first humanitarian agency to deliver relief supplies within the town of Goma in the DRC during the outbreak of hostilities in October and November, 2008.

And Panzi Hospital in the DRC – The Panzi Hospital in Bukavu, DRC is where the victims of survivors of sexual violence go in search of help. Under the guidance of Dr. Denis Mukwege, the medical team there do their best to repair both the physical and spiritual damage that has been done to the women and girls of the region.

Unfortunately, the number of women in need of assistance from Panzi Hospital, CARE Canada and Family Services Ottawa continues to grow. Violence against women happens here in Ottawa and everywhere around the world. Women aged fifteen through forty-four are more likely to be maimed or die from male violence than from cancer, malaria, traffic accidents, and war combined.

We have been particularly struck by the sexual violence against the women and girls of the DRC. In 13 years over 500,000 have been raped. Militias consider it risky to engage in firefights with other gunmen, so instead they assault civilians. They discovered that the most cost-effective way to terrorize civilian populations is to conduct rapes of stunning brutality. Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times, in his book, Half the Sky calls the eastern Congo the world capital of rape.

Eve Ensler, the founder of the V-Day movement calls it femicide – the systematic destruction of females.

We call it a moral imperative.

There are horror stories about the DRC that we could share tonight but we don’t really need to hear more detailed examples of how vicious the rapes taking place there are. Just knowing it is happening should be enough for us to take action. These women, these girls – they are our sisters, our mothers, our daughters, our friends. They are our fellow human beings deserving of both the dignity and support they are currently being denied.

Whether we like it or not, we are the authors of their stories both through our actions and our inaction. Dr. Denis Mukwege is engaged in a rebuilding project that is as complex and long term as that in Haiti or any other country, for he is rebuilding not just women's reproductive and urinary functions but he is helping them rebuild their souls.

As J.K Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series said, “We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already; we have the power to imagine better.”

So we ask that tonight, tomorrow or any day going forward that you imagine better. Imagine a better story for the women here in our community. And imagine a much better story for the women and girls of the DRC. Because if we can imagine better for them, we can do better for them.

We can help them change their story.

Help change the story

2010-03-10T12:08:00.004-05:00

The statistic from the DRC is heartbreaking:

250,000+ women and girls raped in 13 years - more than 1,000 a month - by military and militia.

Their stories are gut-wrenching.

But we can help change that.

We can help the women and girls of the DRC - our mothers, our sisters, our friends - author new stories - stories of hope and victory.

Do you want to help? Can you help write a new story?

In Ottawa? Please come to A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant and A Prayer on Saturday March 13th at the Canadian Museum of Civlization. Tickets are $30. Donations are accepted at www.hopeangercourage.com

You can also visit www.vday.org and read more about the City of Joy being built to help the survivors of the worst sexual violence in the world rebuild and reclaim their lives.

Let's write a better story with them.

Random Musings

2010-03-03T04:06:00.004-05:00

1) I get irritated when people think business travel is just like a holiday. Yes, I get to see some great, amazing places with my job but between January 4th and today, I have been home exactly 18 days. I've been on 5 continents and too many airplanes to count. All I really want is some down time. And my bed.

2) I feel like I missed the entire Winter Olympics except for the third period and overtime of the men's gold medal hockey game which was playing at the Canadian embassy here in Australia. But man, what a goal!

3) It is 10 days until A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant and A Prayer (http://www.hopeangercourage.com/) and what amazes me is how some people in my life who know how important this event is to me are silent about it and how some people I barely know are incredibly supportive

4) I love writing. I love writing fiction. And I love working out the characters and their choices in my head. I often feel like I'm just hosting them in my head before they get put down on paper

5) Ever feel like you're on the verge of something great with another person? That if you could just get your respective acts together what waits for you both is amazing? What do you do if obstacles keep appearing? Do you walk away? At what point do your arms get tired of holding that particular torch?

6) Daniel Craig is 42.

We should all take a moment to admire his gifts.

7) The second term of school is proving much more challenging than the first. But I will prevail

8) Invictus, the movie, was disappointing. The acting was great but the script was weak and given the story they had to work with, that's an epic fail

9) The pork buns at the Conrad Hotel in Hong Kong are worth the trip

10) The teddy bear they give you to cuddle at the Conrad Hotel in Hong Kong is also worth the trip

The Blind Side

2010-02-28T05:33:00.003-05:00

I watched The Blind Side tonight and was, as so many others have been, incredibly moved by it.

(Yes I cried. All of you who thought there was a chance I wouldn't, raise your hands....)

There was a persistent theme that stayed with me through the walk back to the hotel. Do we open our wallets because it's easier than opening our hearts? Is that our blind side?

I'm not for a moment proposing that we all go in search of someone in need of a home, take them in and "save" them from their life. It's not possible for all of us to do what the Tuohys did.

But we can do some of what they did. The education, the clothes, the home were all happy secondary benefits from their hearts being opened to a young man who had been ignored, passed over and forgotten.

How many times do we pass people on the street and look away rather than look them in the eye? How many times do we drop a few coins in a cup or a hat but don't utter a word to the person we're giving them to? It's as though we're happy enough to give away our money but don't ask us to connect with the person.

Charity is not just the benevolent donation of money, the latin word caritas is actually defined as unlimited loving-kindness towards all others.

But the donation of money is easier for us than the donation of kindness. It requires much less of who we are to write a cheque or drop a few coins than it does to spend time with someone.

If we truly want to be charitable to others, look them in the eye, smile at them - as trite as that sounds - touch them, acknowledge them. For some - be they homeless or colleagues or friends - it may be the only acknowledgement they receive. So many people feel invisible and so many are invisible to us that by recognizing their presence we shine a light on them and on ourselves.

And when there is complete illumination, there are no blind sides.

Forget New York....

2010-02-25T02:20:00.003-05:00

...the city that never sleeps is Hong Kong.

or perhaps I should say the city I never sleep in is Hong Kong.

This is my second trip to this amazing little island and just like last year I am unable to sleep more than two or three hours at a stretch. Which is fine for a night or two but as I close in on night seven, it's making me a little punchy. And grumpy. With a dash of crabby.

I can't quite figure out if it's the energy, that productive hum that never seems to stop that keeps me awake or is it because I literally feel like I'm upside down and backwards?

Perhaps the 37 airplanes in three months is a factor?

Regardless - sleep deprived or not - this is a fabulous place. Some of the highlights:

1) Hong Kong taxis. They are all Toyota Crown cars (insert recall joke here) and they whip around the city in no time flat - taking a taxi here is a treat....

2) ...except when travelling up to Stanley Market. The winding streets and up and down of the hills is enough to test even the strongest of stomachs. I always seem to have a can of gingerale on me.

3) There is such an interesting mix of the West and the East here. You can get almost anything from either culture and it all fits together harmoniously.

4) Sitting in a restaurant on the Kowloon side watching the light show at 8 pm on the Hong Kong side - lasers, spotlights and seizure inducing strobes!

5) Shopping. Stanley has to be one of my favourite markets in the world. There is a jewellery store there that is simply amazing. Don't ask me the name but I sure can draw you a map to it. They will make earrings to match a necklace if they don't have any on display and they offer generous discounts when making bulk purchases.

I'll be sad to leave tomorrow (as I jet off to Sydney) but mostly I just want some sleep!

16 days to go

2010-02-24T20:52:00.002-05:00

until the 2nd Annual production of A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant and A Prayer!

For those of you who know me well you know the women and girls of the DRC have been much on my mind for almost two years now. This production, this fight, this call to attention is so important to me. I want to change the story of women and girls - especially in the DRC.

If you're in Ottawa, please come out on March 13th to the Theatre of the Canadian Museum of Civilization. We have an amazing cast featuring Hedy Fry, Jason Tetro, Katherine Dines, Bill Welychka, Erin Blaskie, Alan Neal, Kerry Pither and Adrian Harewood. All of these busy people are giving up their evening and using their talent to make a difference.

There is an awesome silent auction as well.

Tickets are $30 and available at the CMC box office - 819.776.7000

More information can be found at www.hopeangercourage.com

At the heart of it all

2010-02-11T14:46:00.005-05:00

Greetings from South Africa!

There is a saying that Africa is the heart of the world and I must say that after a few days here I can hear the world's heart beating loudly and with great strength.

Today is the 20th anniversary of Nelson Mandela's release from prison. It is a day that proved, in the end, if you remain true to who you are and continue in pursuit of justice and freedom, regardless of the circumstances, then there is no prison man can build that will contain you. I feel so blessed and fortunate to be here on a day like this. I remember spending time in high school and again in university writing and campaigning for Mandela's release. I joined the protest at Carleton University demanding my school divest itself from South Africa if apartheid was allowed to continue.

In speaking with some of the locals here it is amazing to discover that people my age had no idea of who Mandela was until after he was released. How much can that turn your world on its axis? One morning you wake up to discover a man you never heard of, is a hero to millions and is going to change your country in fundamental ways. The love and respect with which these people now speak of him is a testament to the adaptability of the human spirit and is a signal that anything is possible.

South Africa - the new South Africa - still has many growing pains. The security briefing we received upon arrival was enough to keep us tethered to our hotel for the first few nights as crime here is rampant and violent (but we have since grown a little braver and have seen a little more - but cautiously). There are no more political barriers that separate the people but there are economic ones. The disparity between the classes and ultimately the races can be jarring at times. The drive from Jo'burg to Pretoria offers a wide range of what the country struggles with.

But all countries struggle and so South Africa joins the rest of us.

Long before Obama turned hope into a campaign slogan, Mandela provided it to over 25 million, from his tiny cell on Robben Island. He has said the poem Invictus was one that sustained him during his time there. "I am the Master of my fate; I am the Captain of my soul."

Let freedom reign.

*****

and for a little bit of levity, here is a photo of me being smooched by an elephant. Being that close to such an amazing creature is a gift...and will be the subject of another blog post.

Worth

2010-01-29T09:44:00.004-05:00

How much is a life worth? The answer that comes to mind for most all of us is that it is impossible to place a monetary value on the life of a human being.

But we do it all the time. We as individuals, and governments acting in our names make such determinations on a daily basis. What we give to charity and to which charity is an indication of what value we place on a life or lives.

The recent tragedy in Haiti has proven that when crisis hits we are capable of giving in ways we perhaps were not sure were possible. The Canadian government has pledged to match all donations to Haiti by Canadians dollar for dollar and recent meetings about Haiti in Montreal have suggested the global community is looking to make upwards of a $10 billion investment in the stricken country over the next 10 years.

This is amazing and needed news. The earthquake and aftermath in Haiti is absolutely devastating and we must, as part of our obligation to each other, help them rebuild in a sustainable way.

But what value are we placing on the life of Congolese women and girls?

Readers of this space know that for over a year now I have been seized with the situation in the DRC - home to the worst sexual violence in the world. Just stop and think about that sentence for a moment - worst sexual violence in the world. No matter how horrific the stories of rape you hear coming from other countries, there exists a place on this planet where it is worse.

And we have done nothing. We have not responded in any tangible way to the crisis in the DRC that is now closing in on a decade and a half. For 13 years the women and girls in Eastern DRC have been raped and re-raped. Raped once, twice, three times. By men in uniform. By men out of uniform. By men who are supposed to protect them.

Their insides have been physically destroyed. Their insides have been spiritually damaged. The women don't scream because no one will come. After 13 years they know the global community is not coming to rescue them or protect them. They have been ignored and they have been told by us their lives are worth less.

In this great article from the Times, Dr. Mukwege of Panzi Hospital proves that one person can bring hope where none seems to exist. (We're just going to skip over the fact that it's in the Life and Style section as opposed to the News section)

Like many girls, Ruth was held in the forest as a sex slave where she was tied to a tree and raped by passing soldiers for several days at a time. Months passed, but eventually Ruth was released and allowed to begin the arduous journey to Panzi hospital. She was pregnant.

“It was tragic,” Dr Mukwege says. “The baby was stillborn. But her internal injuries were too severe to repair. As her doctor I am pleased that I could restore urinary continence and fit her with a colostomy. But she does not have a vagina, she will never have a period. In her own eyes she is no longer a woman.”

He is engaged in a rebuilding project that is as complex and long term as that in Haiti, for Dr. Mukwege is rebuilding not just women's reproductive and urinary functions but he is helping them rebuild their souls.

The longer we allow this situation to continue the longer we tell a whole population of women and girls that their lives have no value.

If we are to be judged based on how we treat the weakest of our society then we should be judged as failures. All of the good works and good intentions to deliver the people of Haiti from tragedy does not and will not give us a free pass on our inability and unwillingness to deliver the women and girls of the DRC from the horror they have lived every day for 13 years.

***

If you're in Ottawa and want to help, please join me on March 13th at the Canadian Museum of Civilization for a benefit reading of A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant and A Prayer. All funds raised will be given to Panzi Hospital, CARE Canada and Family Services Ottawa

Hmmm

2010-01-26T10:12:00.004-05:00

Is it a thank you or a goodbye?

This fancy frame arrived at my office last week to celebrate my 15 years of ~~indentured servitude~~ service to the Canadian government.

In looking at it, I think it reads more like a period at the end of a long ass sentence as opposed to an exclamation mark.

Maybe it's time for other pastures?