Right off the coast of Japan’s most western island there lies, buried beneath the ocean, incontrovertible evidence that aliens once lived among us. You might not have heard of this incredible proof, but they don’t want you to know, trust me.

In 1987, a diver made a startling discovery off of the coast of Yonaguni: some rocks that are kind of square. They even looked like pyramids, in that they are three-dimensional. This groundbreaking discovery has raised important, far-reaching questions that affect all of humanity.

Innocent pile of rocks, or ancient alien base?!

What would have caused these rocks to have such angular shapes? People (such as ancient astronaut theorists) argue that the formations at Yonaguni have too many right angles (an angle that never appears in nature) to have been naturally made. If these rocks at the Yonaguni monument weren’t formed by nature, then who made them?

These rock formations at the Yonaguni monument are too old to have been made by humans; early man just didn’t have the technology available. You know who did? Motherloving aliens.

It might sound a little outlandish to some people, but the alien theory has a lot of weight behind it. Experts like sports communication and information major Giorgio Tsoukalos have lent this theory their credibility. Need I say more?

The Evidence

If expert testimony doesn’t sway you, then maybe you should take a look at some of the cold, hard evidence that proves that the Yonaguni monument was made by aliens.

Highly reputable site where I found information on the Yonaguni monument

First of all it’s located in the Devil’s Sea, an area south of Japan that’s hailed as the Bermuda Triangle of the East. I mean, as far as I can tell, only Western dudes call it that or write about it, but it’s still possibly an area of great danger and supernatural activity. Beware!

Secondly as I wrote about earlier, a fisherman’s tale from hundreds of years ago talks about an incident when a ship washed up on the Japanese shore with a woman in it holding a box. If that doesn’t convince you that advanced alien creatures have visited us from light years away, then I don’t know what else to say.

Left: Ancient doguu; Right: Comic book villain Black Manta. Indisputable proof of Aquaman?!

Finally, take ancient Japanese clay figures, or doguu (土偶) from the late Jomon period of Japanese history (14,000-400 BC). Nobody really knows what they were for or who made them, but they look like they might be wearing diving suits or space suits or something. Do I have to spell it out for you?

Wake up! The evidence is all around you!

The Skeptics

Of course, there are people in “mainstream archeology” who are skeptical of the alien theory, but what do they have to stand on?

OK, some “geologists” think that these formations are probably “natural,” I’ll give you that. And yes, it’s true that the Japanese government hasn’t recognized the Yaniguni monument as a place of any natural or cultural significance, but who are they kidding?

Something at Yonaguni that apparently looks like a face to some people.

Ancient astronaut theorists have shown us that aliens might have probably made this series of oddly shaped rocks, including that one that looks like a human face if you squint underwater while drunk.

It’s got two holes in it! Like eyes! What more do you need?!

You know what? I’ve said too much already. They are out there and don’t want you to know the truth. I’ve laid out the facts for you, do with them what you will.

Everybody knows the old saying “Necessity is the mother of invention,” but the Japanese seems to really take it to heart. Japan has a lot of strange, unique needs, and out of those needs come cool, unusual inventions.

One of Japan’s biggest needs has been space. Japan is a pretty small country with a lot of mountains and a ton of people. These factors together sometimes limit what Japan can do with what land it has.

So what do the Japanese do? They make more space by creating artificial, man-made islands. Unlike the crazy extravagant artificial islands of Dubai, most of Japan’s man-made islands are actually quite functional.

Before I go any further, I know that you have a serious, burning question you need to ask. Fortunately, our friends over at Ask.com have answered it for us:

Dejima【出島】

Surprisingly, Japanese artificial islands have been around for hundreds of years. You’d expect that artificial islands would require giant diggers, barges, and other mechanized monstrosities, but people still somehow managed to make man-made islands in the days before the industrial revolution.

Take Dejima, for example. Created in the 1600^s Dejima, located in Nagasaki, was one of Japan’s first artificial islands.

Way back in the day when Japan was more than a little distrustful of foreigners, they kept interaction with the outside world at the absolute bare minimum. Trade and visitation were severely limited to everybody outside of Japan for about 200 years.

Artist’s depiction of Dejima around the 1800s

Those foreigners who were allowed to come to Japan were kept at arm’s length. The shogunate wanted one dedicated place where foreigners could trade in Japan, and decided to create Dejima to be that place.

You know the kid who was always picked last for kickball in school? Dejima is like that times a million. The Japanese think that you’re so icky that they built an island just so they don’t have to deal with you?

That’s cold.

Artist’s depiction of Tokugawa Japan

Eventually, Japan got over its whole fear of foreigners, and there wasn’t really a need for Dejima anymore. Nagasaki grew, caught up with Dejima, and eventually absorbed it into the city.

Nowadays, Dejima has been lost within Nagasaki; but the Japanese government has declared Dejima historical site and are working on figuring out its exact location in Dejima and restoring it to its original state.

Odaiba【お台場】

Odaiba, like Dejima, is an artificial island that was built because of scary, scary foreigners. After Commodore Perry rolled up on Japan and told the Japanese to come out of isolation or else, the shogunate decided to prepare for the worst. A series of gun batteries were built in Tokyo Bay to defend the city from any potential attacks.

The attack from the outside never came, and the islands fell into disuse until the 20^th century. Local government gradually repurposed and built upon these islands, transforming them from old, unused gun batteries into places where people live, work, and play.

Since Odaiba has sprung to life, it’s gained its own character. Odaiba houses the iconic Fuji Television building, and has a bunch of tourist attractions. A miniature replica of the Statue of Liberty overlooks Tokyo Tower, and a giant Gundam has attracted flocks of otaku to Odaiba for over two years.

A Gundam isn’t quite what the shogunate had in mind when they built Odaiba to house weapons, but hey, it’ll do.

Kansai Airport【関西国際空港】

As impressive as artificial islands like Dejima and Odaiba are, they pale in comparison to Kansai International Airport (KIX). The construction of KIX is an engineering marvel built at the peak of the Japanese economic powerhouse of the mid 20^th century.

The city of Osaka wanted a first-class international airport, but couldn’t make it happen by conventional means. Osaka didn’t have the space, and building an airport in the middle of the city would have caused a ton of noise pollution and myriad safety issues.

So what did Osaka do? It built an island.

Construction started in the late 80^s and, through years of work, tons and tons of landfill, and $20 billion, Kansai Airport opened in 1994. Its creation wasn’t without problems, though.

Kansai Airport’s designers grappled with the problem of sinking. Even after you’ve created a man-made island, you still have to deal with the island sinking into the soft ground below it. Designers have dealt with this problem by adding more material into the island and fitting the buildings with hydraulic lifts to keep them level and elevated.

And, believe it or not, KIX has held up pretty well. It’s weathered typhoons and earthquakes, including the devastating 1995 Hanshin Earthquake.

There are plenty more fake islands in Japan, but these are the ones that seemed most significant to me. Did I miss any? Which is your favorite? Let me know in the comments!

[Header image source]

Last week @ayabuns on Twitter bribed me with this picture to write an article about kendo. I am fairly easy to bribe. Therefore, today you are getting an article about kendo. But not just any article! We’ll talk a little bit about the martial art and sport, then delve into the philosophy as well. Fan of samurai, Zen Buddhism, and more? Kendo may be something that connects with you, then.

What Is Kendo?

Let’s start by talking about what kendo is. Kendo/剣道 (aka “way of the sword”) is actually a fairly new martial art, in terms of how old martial arts get. It came from what was originally known as kenjutsu, which was developed in the Kamakura period (1185-1333) when samurai started showing up in bigger numbers. Because real swords were too fun to practice with, bogu (armor) and shinai (bamboo swords) were developed by the 1700s (fewer dead people, I guess). From here, we start to see modern kendo emerge.

I don’t want to talk too much about what kendo is since I want to jump into the meat of this article, but watch this documentary for a lot more info. It’s actually pretty interesting, and I think a good introduction for people who have never seen kendo before.

Okay. Got your kendo-learning fix? Let’s find out what makes kendo so interesting to me.

My Experience With Kendo

I’ve only been doing kendo for ~10 years now, and considering all the people in their 70s and 80s who have been doing kendo for their entire lives… my ten years is just a drop in the proverbial bucket. So, you’ll have to take everything I say with an “I’m-a-total-newb” grain of salt here. My thoughts on kendo philosophy ten years from now may be totally different. And it’s just like, my opinion, man.

I also have a little bit of experience in other martial arts as well… another ten years in jujitsu, as well as a few more doing judo, giving me some ability to make some comparisons. Don’t confuse anything I say with “this martial art is better than that martial art,” though. Those conversations are really dumb. I will however talk about why kendo is something that fits really well with me, personally. It’s had a huge effect on how I think about life, the universe, and everything (aka 42).

Simplicity Of Kendo

The thing that draws me to kendo the most is the simplicity of it. When kenjutsu was being developed (where kendo came from) Zen Buddhism was the big influencer in town. Kendo seems to draw a lot of influence from this (as kenjutsu did), and I think this is perhaps one of the reasons I’m drawn to it. I think this is why there are so many aspects of kendo that have to do with the simplicity of it. Here’s how I see it:

Very Few Techniques

In my experience with other martial arts, the main focus always seemed to be on learning more and more techniques. Maybe I was just going to the wrong dojos (perhaps this is American style?). I’m not sure. If you learn 100 techniques with a certain skill level, you get this colored belt. If you learn 200 techniques, you get some other belt. In kendo, you essentially get to do four techniques. That’s it, and the last one (tsuki) isn’t even something someone can try for a number of years.

They are: men (head), kote (wrist), dou (body), and tsuki (throat).

There are variations on these techniques, of course. For example, you could hit the other side of the dou… or you hit the kote as they’re hitting your men… things like that. But, when you boil it down, it’s still only four techniques… and this turns out to be plenty. Considering how hard it is to master any one of these, four seems to be enough for me.

Real Life Application: Don’t try to do everything. Just doing a few things well is difficult enough.

No Way To Tell Rank

Another thing that I love about kendo is that everyone pretty much looks the same. There is rank, for sure, but if you line a bunch of people up, there’s no way to tell what someone’s rank is without them telling you (or by guessing based on how used their equipment looks, but that doesn’t always mean anything).

I like this because it puts more focus on your actions and behavior. You can tell people apart by how good their kendo is, not by what rank they are.

Real Life Application: Don’t tell the world what your status is. If you’re going to let people know, do it with your actions.

Shaving

When I think about some other martial arts, all I can think about is how complicated they get. The higher your rank, the more complicated all your techniques get. Purple belt? That means you get to spin twice before kicking the target. It’s all about adding, adding, adding.

It took me a while to realize this, but in kendo I think it’s all about how much you can take away. I want to say that kyuudo and aikido are similar in this regard. When a beginner starts kendo, their swing is very complicated. They use all kinds of different muscles and make a lot of unnecessary movements. As you get better, you actually simplify your swing. You figure out how to turn off certain muscles. You make your movements more consistent. You don’t swing through your targets as much. It’s a lot like golf in terms of the consistency you need. You don’t want to swing your golf club differently every time. You want it to be like clockwork. Same goes for kendo.

The more you simplify in kendo, the better your kendo gets. One way to teach someone how to swing properly is to make them swing so many times that they have almost no strength left. When this happens, their body’s only choice is to do the simplest swing possible. This usually ends up being a correct swing, because the simplest swing is the easiest swing.

Real Life Application: Sometimes complicating things isn’t the way to go. Even though it seems like a flashier, more complicated move would make you better at kendo, it’s really the opposite that makes someone great. Simplicity is harder, sure, but taking the easy path is never the best path, ammirght?

Ridiculous Difficulty

Despite being such a “simple” martial art, simplicity isn’t an easy thing to achieve. In fact, simplicity is one of the hardest things in the world to do right. Because of this, I think, kendo is crazy difficult. Even when you’re “good” at kendo, you still have a long ways to go. Always. People who have been doing kendo for thirty years are still thinking about all the things they need to improve on and change.

Beginner Fo’Life!

The dude in this video is such a boss. And what he says is so true, too. Fifty years learning the basics seems about right, too. It depends on what dojo you end up going to, but a lot of places make you do a lot of work before even letting you touch a shinai (that’s the bamboo sword). Then, you have to swing without a partner for even longer. This is part “can you make it?” and part “get a good basics foundation.”

It’s interesting seeing people who grew up doing kendo in Japan versus doing kendo in America because of the discrepancy in fundamentals practice. The Japanese kenshi (people who do kendo) are almost always way better. Why? It’s because they spent years and years working on basics, whereas us Americans tend to be a bit more impatient. Eventually, this catches up to you and you and you can no longer catch up with everyone else.

Real Life Application: Don’t skimp on your basics. They will carry you through everything in life.

Mind Games

As you practice your basics (your body), you start noticing the mind games that begin developing. If your mind breaks, your body breaks as well and you die. If you can’t predict what your opponent is going to do, you die. If you can’t keep focus, you die. So much of kendo is about your mental abilities. When your body can do the basics of kendo pretty well, this becomes the thing that differentiates people who are “okay” and people who are actually good.

The “mind game” aspect is definitely one of my favorite things about kendo, though. Once you start noticing this, every single drill, match, and exercise begins to rotate around this concept too. Everything is an opportunity to make your mind stronger. In fact, a strong mind means that you’re able to push your body further, which makes your body stronger too. If you don’t have mind, you can never develop body.

Every practice you have to reach the point where you think “I can’t do this anymore.” Once you do, you have to keep doing it. That’s 100% mind, right there. When you push yourself like this, everything gets stronger. If you don’t push yourself, you’ll always stay the same, or at least progress at a much slower rate. Can I last a few more seconds? Can I stay focused longer than my opponent? Can I break my opponent’s will before he/she breaks mine? This is why short Japanese girls beat me up all the time. I have bigger and more manly muscles (maybe), but they’re sharp as tacks. Mind > Body, though both work together quite well.

Real Life Application: You have to train your brain as much as you train your body. Do you have trouble focusing? Push yourself to focus just a little bit more every time. Eventually, you too will have the focus of a short Japanese girl. All it takes is practice. Sure, it’ll be uncomfortable, but that’s the whole point, right?

8th Degree Test

Do you know what the hardest test in Japan is? Is it becoming a lawyer? Pshhhh. That’s EZPZ. No, it’s the kendo 8th dan test, which has a less than 1% pass rate.

The above documentary is one of my favorite videos to watch – it’s about the people who are trying to achieve this rank. But, it’s more than that, too. It’s so inspirational to see all these people trying again and again to pass the test. Why keep taking the test even though they keep failing? Because kendo is life, and failure is a part of that.

Real Life Application: Sometimes you fail. In fact, most times you fail. But, you have to keep trying and trying to achieve those dreams.

Living Kendo

Kendo’s definitely a way of life, I think. That’s why so many people do kendo until they die. Once you go kendo, it’ll never end-oh?

Not About The Money

A lot of martial arts dojos enjoy making lots of moneys (I guess to fill their mats?). In general, practicing kendo is very cheap. There are exceptions, I’m sure, but most of the time you just pay some dues for the facility you’re practicing in (for me, that’s $20/month) and then buy your own equipment (which lasts a long time, usually). The sensei don’t get paid for their time and they teach kendo because they love kendo.

When you go up for promotion, it’s also very cheap. If you’re going for 3rd degree (3dan) or below, which is most people, it’s around $35. If you’re going for a higher rank than that, it’s $50. Compare that to many belt-factory schools which make you pay hundreds if not thousands of dollars for a constant stream of promotions. Purple double stripe rainbow blue power belt? That’ll be $360, please…

I think the whole money issue gives kendo a very different feeling – at least that’s my experience. People are there because they care. Sometimes that means they care about improving their kendo. Other times it’s that they care about improving your kendo. Often times it’s both. Whatever it is, it’s a great environment to practice in because everyone wants to be there.

Real Life Application: You shouldn’t do everything for money. Focus on improving yourself, and surround yourself with like-minded people.

Perfection When Perfection Is Impossible

What is perfection? I have no idea. Will I ever be able to do perfect kendo? Definitely not. So, why do I keep doing kendo? I have no idea. For some reason, though, the thought that my kendo will never be perfect is awesome. It means there’s always something to improve on. Mostly, it means I’ll never be bored. When you finish a video game, you’re done. When you finish eating your dinner, you’re also done. When you finish kendo… you’re probably just dead (or you quit). Probably not the most pleasant sounding thing in the world, but to me that’s a bit comforting. If you don’t make it a part of your life, then what’s the point of doing it, right? That impossible to reach perfection makes that possible.

Real Life Application: If you’re passionate about what you do, you’ll never be able to make it perfect. You can either let that drive you insane, or you can let that drive you for your entire life. This is what people call “purpose.” If you get one, you’ll feel a lot happier.

Is Kendo For You?

Actually, no, probably not. I’ve seen a lot of beginner classes come and go at multiple dojos, and one thing is always consistent… almost everyone quits. If one person sticks it out for more than a year, then you’re lucky. I think a lot of this is because of the reasons stated above. it’s too simple, it’s too mentally draining, and it’s not what people expect. It takes so much focus and time. It just comes down to how much you’re willing to put in. Hey, it’s understandable – time is finite, and you have to use it in the way you think is right.

That being said, you should still try it. If you want to experience Japanese culture, kendo is a great way to do that. If it’s not for you it isn’t for you. I really do hope it is, though – I would love to practice with you sometime :)

So, do you do kendo? If so, what do you think? Do you do another type of martial art? What has that taught you about life?

P.S. Header art custom made by Aya Francisco. Thanks Aya!

In our last edition of how to be a baka gaijin we explored the fine art of being a baka gaijin on trains. So you’ve made it through the grueling ordeal that is your train ride and you’ve finally arrived at your destination. What’s this? You’re staying with a nice Japanese family for a homestay? How delightful! Your own private audience for your finely tuned baka performance. Let’s get started.

1. Don’t Bring a Gift

The first situation you’ll run into at a Japanese house is entering the residence and meeting the family who has been so kind as to take you in for a while in this strange new country. Should you bring them a gift? No way! Simply by being there, you are providing them with the best gift at all – your baka gaijinity. There is no way they’d be offended that you didn’t adhere to the custom of bringing a small gift such as alcohol, chocolate, or a souvenir from your home country when visiting a house in Japan. They should be giving you a gift for gracing them with your presence.

This is a surefire way to let your homestay family know right off the bat that you have no idea what’s going on. Not bringing a small gift to show your thanks for them putting up with your baka gaijinity for however long you are there is a pretty lousy thing to do. But if you want to lull them into a false sense of security with your manners, you should definitely provide them with a small gift of gratitude before you surprise them all with our next tip.

2. Wear Your Dirty Shoes in the House

Immediately after presenting your gift (or not) you should romp right into the house with your wet and muddy shoes. Japanese people love to clean and they will be delighted to know that you were so excited to see the rest of their beautiful home (which they just recently cleaned for your arrival) that you just could not spare the time to take off your filthy shoes. By the time one of the children hints at you that wearing your shoes inside is a no-no, you’ve already covered a good portion of the house in your baka gaijin filth. Well done.

Pretty much never do Japanese people wear shoes inside their homes. It’s usually slippers (more on that later), or socks in the home, so wearing your outdoor shoes inside a residence is a great way to show off how baka you are. Usually homes will have house slippers for themselves as well as their guests right near the entryway where you didn’t take off your shoes, you silly gaijin, you.

3. Wear the Bathroom Slippers Around the House

So you finally took off your dirty shoes and you realize that you haven’t gone to the bathroom since you arrived in this strange new country. You ask where the bathroom is and you rush right in. Upon arrival, you notice that there are a pair of slippers in here. How convenient! You just learned about these earlier. So you slip on the slippers, do your business, and prance right out of there like royalty, still in the slippers. You know, the slippers that are only meant to be worn while in the bathroom because, you know, people pee in there.

You may find yourself asking how much more complicated can household footwear get? Well after you see the horrified faces of your homestay family when they realize you’re wearing the toilet slippers around the house after they just cleaned the floors from your earlier incident, you’ll know just about all you need to know concerning footwear etiquette in the house. Maybe next time you should just leave the bathroom slippers where they belong, okay?

4. Get Extra Comfy Around the Dinner Table

By this time you’re probably pretty hungry. And probably pretty sick of everything that has to do with feet and the things that go over them. It’s time for dinner and you sit yourself down on the floor by the dinner table. Even though everyone else is sitting seiza or Indian style, you decide to show everyone your endless capacity for baka gaijin-ness and sit all sprawled out with your legs stretching under the table and your feet pointing at and sometimes touching the members of the family. Why try to conform now when you’re already so far down the path of baka gaijinity?

By this point you’ve probably realized that a great thing to do in unfamiliar situations is just to do what everyone else is doing. Follow the social convention. The best way to be a baka gaijin is to just do your own thing and totally ignore anything you think might be customary in this new land. Pointing feet at people and especially touching other folks with your feet is pretty darn rude. Oops.

5. Hog the Bathtub Because You are a King (or Queen)

Dinner is over and sleepy-time is fast approaching. What do? Take a bath of course! The family graciously offers to draw a bath for you and allow you to be the first one to take a bath that evening. Show them what a baka gaijin you are by not even thinking about allowing one of them to take the first bath – no one deserves it as much as you do! Remember, you are a gift to this family. Once you get into the bathroom, be sure not to wash yourself off before getting in the bath, you’re clean enough already. Time to take a nice long soak in the tub. Afterwards, be sure to pull the plug and drain the water. It’s not like there’s a whole family of people planning to take a bath after you, right?

Okay, so usually families will use the same bathwater for everyone’s bath since they will usually wash themselves off first in a shower separate from the tub. That way when they get into the tub, they are already clean and they don’t dirty the tub water with their human filth. So in a way, your draining the tub kind of saved the family from bathing in your filth and experiencing the wrath of your baka gaijinity. Well, half of your baka gaijinity anyway.

Su Casa es Mi Casa Baka

By performing all of these acts you will have made it very, very clear to the family what a baka gaijin you are. Especially if you manage to pull all of them off in the same day (impressive!) So next time you are in Japan, remember how to act on a train, but also remember how you should act once you get to your destination as well. Make every house your own personal baka house**

So now you know how to be a baka on trains, and also how to be a baka while in a Japanese house. Have you ever accidentally made any of these mistakes while in Japan? Tell us your story in the comments! (Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.)

Also, if you want a more straightforward post about how to behave in Japanese households, it’s laid out pretty plainly in this post from VipJapan.

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**Please realize that this post is mostly satire and is supposed to be funny. I am aware that gaijin are not the only ones who perform the faux pas in this series of baka gaijin posts. They are just meant to draw attention to some mistakes people might make while in Japan in a humorous manner.
Hugs and kisses <3 J

Every Sunday we gather the week’s weird and interesting Japanese news and present it to you in our Sunday News column. It might not always be hard-hitting news, but we hope that it still informs and entertains you. Enjoy!

Sneak peek: Tommy Lee Jones in ‘Emperor’: Even though Tommy Lee Jones looks nothing like General Douglas MacArthur and admits so himself (“I bear no resemblance to Douglas MacArthur whatsoever. But a campaign hat, some aviator glasses and a corncob pipe go a long way”), he’s still slated to appear in next year’s WWII-era film, Emperor. Word is still out on who is playing Emperor Hirohito, but I’m guessing it’ll probably be Samuel L. Jackson. Dude is in every movie. [via Japan Probe]

Japan’s Mixi mulls putting itself up for sale: A site that once laughed in the faces of MySpace and Facebook, the future of Japanese social networking site Mixi is looking pretty grim. Facebook and Twitter continue to make inroads in Japan, and there’s a rumor that Mixi’s CEO might sell his majority share in the company. I’m no market strategist, but I’ve got an idea for Mixi: combine with Google and Yahoo! to create the worst social network of all time. It’s so bad, it has to work! [via MarketWatch]

Japan’s First Police Cat Rats Out Criminals: People in the US like to complain about their jobs getting outsourced overseas, but I’d wager to say that the Japanese have it even worse. The jobs that aren’t being replaced by cold, deadly robots are being snatched up by adorable animals. First there was Tama, the station master cat; then police toy poodles; and now a police cat? Knowing how the Japanese go through Prime Ministers, I wouldn’t be surprised if a four-legged friend was the next to lead the Liberal Democratic Party. [via InventorSpot]

Osaka city gov’t surveys employees over tattoos: The Japanese have a much different relationship with tattoos than people in the West do; they’re strongly associated with the yakuza, so there’s a strong stigma attached. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that there was a bit of a stir when an Osaka government employee showed off his/her tattoo to a group of children, but the government’s response seems a bit disproportional. What – you didn’t get a star tattoo on your ankle when you turned 18?! Please. [via Mainichi Shinbun]

Anyone who has any interest in Japan has most likely been exposed to pachinko (パチンコ) in one form or another. Perhaps you saw it in an anime or a drama, or perhaps you ran across it in one of our earlier Tofugu posts, or perhaps you’ve already developed an incurable pachinko addiction (much like Koichi). Either way, pachinko is a pretty big thing in Japan. But how do you play this crazy game anyway? The first time I saw one, I had no idea what was going on.

A Brief Synopsis of the Game

To start off, let’s explore what this wacky game is all about in the first place. Pachinko is both a form of recreation as well as a gambling device so it’s pretty comparable to slot machines here in the West. Pretty much anywhere in Japan you’ll be able to find a pachinko parlor tucked away someplace.

Pachinko machines look kind of like a vertical pinball machine, but once you shoot the ball into the thing you have no further control over it. Once the balls are in there, you just have to rely on luck and chance that they’ll end up where you want them.

If the balls go into these desired locations, something will happen that will give you the opportunity to win more balls, usually some sort of slot machine type game that shows up on the screen in the middle of the pachinko board. The object of Pachinko is to obtain as many balls as possible, so getting good slot machine rolls is a must.

The balls you win from Pachinko can then be exchanged for prizes, which in turn are then exchanged for money. The reason for this two step process is because directly gambling on pachinko is illegal. Pachinko balls cannot be exchanged directly for money in the pachinko parlor, so the balls are exchanged for small prizes (sometimes tokens), which can then be taken to a separate establishment nearby and exchanged for money there.

No, this image has not been photoshopped.

The Japanese government estimates the annual revenue of the pachinko parlor industry to be about ¥29 trillion or so (~$378 billion). This is approximately four times the total profit of world-wide (legal) casino gambling each year which is pretty impressive if you ask me. How much of this revenue is Koichi responsible for? You don’t want to know.

How to Play Pachinko

Depending on the type of machine, there will be different areas to shoot for and different ways to win more balls. The video below will give you a decent idea of how it’s done (you can just ignore the part at the end about slot machines, unless of course you’re into that sort of thing, Koichi).

Hopefully that cleared things up a bit for you. For a great visual guide on how to play (more pictures, yay!) you can check out this handy guide from Pachinko-Play.com.

More Pretty Lights and Bright Colors

Modern pachinko machines are highly customizable which keeps Koichi pachinko addicts from getting bored with them. There’s always some new video game or anime coming out that can be used for a pachinko machine theme. Some of the modern designs and themes are pretty cool. Just take a gander at some of the videos below to get a better feel for the atmosphere of pachinko.

This is more or less what’s it’s like entering every pachinko parlor during peak hours. It is loud. With all those pachinko balls rattling around and the noises from the machines, it’s a surprise more pachinko addicts don’t go deaf in both ears.

And here’s some more random shots of pachinko parlors for you to check out. I only went to one pachinko parlor in Japan when I was there and it didn’t take me too long to lose ¥1,000 worth of balls. Koichi has played more games than I have, but then again he does have a *cough* gambling problem *cough cough*

Like I said, many pachinko machines have some sort of theme, like a video game or an anime. This one is Lupin the 3rd themed. The one I played on in Japan just had some generic ocean theme with fish, seashells, and mermaids.

As you can see, pachinko machines certainly have come a long way. This machine is from the 1940s and it’s certainly a far cry from the machines of today with all their bells and whistles. Oh what a hard life Japanese pachinko addicts must have lived back then.

And just because I know some of you out there are wondering, this is how they count all those pachinko balls up when you go to obtain your prizes. Pretty speedy, no?

Pachinko Commercials

But of course, how can we forget the pachinko commercials? Some of these pachinko commercials are, uh, pretty weird. But don’t take my word for it, just see for yourself.

Some of you may remember the above dude from one of our earlier posts about One-Joke Wonders. This is Kojima Yoshio, and that’s just how he do.

And of course, no pachinko post would be complete without including the ones featuring our dear and beloved Nicolas Cage. Please enjoy.

So tell me, have any of you had the opportunity to play pachinko? Did you win anything? Have any protips for the rest of us (or desire protips from Koichi)? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Saturday Timewaster is a weekly post that features Japanese videos, music, images, or games that will certainly waste your time (some weeks more than others). We hope you enjoy!

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For years, Tokyo Tower has been an iconic figure in Tokyo’s skyline, but that may soon be coming to an end. After nearly four years in the making, the Tokyo Skytree has finished construction, and it will open to the public next week.

Even though it hasn’t opened yet, it’s already made headlines as the tallest tower and the second-tallest structure in the world. And just this past week, it captured the imagination of people around the world as it glowed in celebration of the Tokyo Hotaru (firefly) festival.

While Skytree’s massive height and glowing LEDs are cool and all, that’s not really what interests me. What’s really interesting to me is how the Tokyo Skytree is so super Japanese in so many ways.

There are a lot of aspects of Tokyo Skytree that are Japanese in ways you wouldn’t expect. Sure, Skytree is located in Japan’s capital, but lots of little things make Skytree the most Japanese building I have ever seen.

Height Based On Wordplay

For instance, Skytree is 634m. That might seem like just a random number but, like One World Trade Center’s height of 1776ft, Skytree’s height was no accident.

That particular height of 634m was chosen based on its wordplay value. Seriously! As we’ve written about before, the Japanese love their wordplay, especially when it comes to numbers.

634 can be read as “Musashi” which, not coincidentally, is also the name of the area where the Skytree is located. It boggles the mind that an important detail of such a significant project was changed just so it could be more pun-y.

Its Own Mascot

The Japanese wordplay is only the beginning of Tokyo Skytree’s Japanese-ness. What’s more Japanese than goroawase wordplay? How about mascots?

Everything in Japan – from cities to castles to police departments to companies – has its own mascot. Mascots just make marketing and branding that much easier. Plus, they’re super cute and easy to trot out for photo ops (like below).

Tower mascot, or Animal Crossing character?

So it’s no surprise that Tokyo Skytree its own mascot: Sorakara, or ソラカラ in Japanese (pictured above). Is it a girl with a star for a head? A Super Saiyan in a dress? I guess Sorakara makes about as much sense as my favorite Japanese mascot of all time, the controversial crab-girl Manbe-kun.

Tokyo Skytree’s Japanese-ness goes beyond the somewhat superficial aspects like wordplay and mascots. In fact, it cuts straight to some of Japan’s most core, traditional beliefs.

Shinto Blessing

After construction on the tower finished up a few months back, people celebrated with some completion ceremonies. There were the predictable speeches by civic figures, but there was also a distinctly Japanese element: a Shinto blessing.

A kannushi (神主), or Shinto priest, came in with his whole entourage of priestesses to bless and protect the tower.

Buildings are, of course, blessed all over the world by nearly every religion imaginable. That alone isn’t something unique to Japan. But only in Japanese culture will you see a Shinto blessing.

All of those aspects combined together make Skytree the most Japanese building I’ve ever seen.

Or maybe I’m reading too far into things. In any case, Tokyo Skytree opens on May 22 and will, regardless of how Japanese it is, be sure to draw visitors from all over the world.

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Shimokitazawa (下北沢) is just about the trendiest neighborhood in Tokyo. Also known as Shimokita for short, the district is a hub for stage theater and live music. With its numerous cafes, music outlets, vintage clothing stores, live music clubs, and cheap noodle shops, Shimokitazawa is incredibly popular with trendy students and hip young peoples all across Japan. In national surveys about where young people in Japan want to live, Shimokitazawa is always at the top of the list.

The Neighborhood

I found this nifty little video (minus the slightly annoying host) that gives us all a great sneak peek at the awesome-ness that is Shimokitazawa. The guy gets to interview Polysics for Pete’s sake! How cool is that? I wish I’d known about this Shimokitazawa place before I went to Japan when I studied abroad in college – I would have hit it up for sure.

The neighborhood is really popular for its cozy residential feel, drawing hordes of students and young office workers to its maze of narrow lanes and alleyways. The quaint little shops, mostly in converted houses or low-rise apartments, often bear names that hearken back to Western areas such as The Village Vanguard Diner, Haight Ashbury, and Mojo Rising. This place sure is funky.

With its many narrow streets that are inaccessible to vehicles, you get a real sense of adventure while exploring the town on foot like a brave urban explorer. Oh, and also they have awesome cats.

I mean, how cool is that? What better judge of a place than the cats that frequent it? This cat has got it made in the shade here in Shimokitazawa. He’s awesome. I want to be his friend.

The Shops

As you might expect, Shimokitazawa is home to some of Japan’s trendiest shops such as the hat store Grown Up Tabitha (pictured above). As such, it’s a great place to walk around and window shop. There’s plenty of stuff to see here. Think of it as the most greatest, awesomest flea market you ever did see. At least that’s how I imagine the place. Like I said, I’ve not been there yet, but that’s what it looks like to me.

Even though I’ve never been there myself, I can tell that this is the kind of place hipsters would love. Just look at those shops. Plenty of quirky clothes, trinkets, and knick-knacks to suit just about anyone’s needs. If there were ever an ideal location for a brick and mortar Tofugu store, Shimokitazawa would be it, don’t you think? We’d fit right in with our hip and cool wares.

Thrift shops offering a variety of items from bygone decades as well as old anime-themed toys are quite popular here as well. Many shops are an extension of the creativeness of their hip young owners, such as those combining a cafe with a record shop or a side store for peddling their small handmade items.

For more awesome pictures of the place, you can find a slew of them here from Flickr. They’re definitely worth checking out.

The Music

As I mentioned before, Shimokitazawa also has a pretty big music scene. A lot of musicians frequent the place, so you’ll never be left wanting for some sort of live musical entertainment. There’s always some sort of live show taking place at quaint little venues, people playing in the narrow streets, or live music at local cafes. If you love live music or happen to be a musician yourself, you’ll love Shimokitazawa.

They have a pretty wide variety of styles here as well. Just look at the photo above. Never before have I seen salarymen looking so hip. I’m always up for discovering new and interesting Japanese bands so I’ve the feeling I’d really enjoy wandering around this place and listening to all the musicians and bands. Polysics (mentioned above) is one of my all-time favorite bands, and if they like Shimokitazawa it must be cool. I’m sure there’s lots of other awesome Japanese bands that think Shimokitazawa is the bee’s knees as well.

The Special Events

According to Japan’s National Tourist Organization, Shimokitazawa has some pretty cool events going on throughout the year for you to check out. During the month-long Shimokitazawa Theater Festival held every February, various plays are performed at eight small theaters throughout the town. There is also the Kitazawa Music Festival held every July where you can enjoy live music both in music venues as well as in every little alleyway throughout the town. Sounds pretty fun to me.

If you really want to experience the casual and friendly charm that Shimokitazawa has to offer, Japan’s National Tourist Organization recommends that you visit during the Tengu-matsuri Festival, held at the end of January or beginning of February, which includes a fantastic parade of people dressed as the mythical Tengu. The spirited Mikoshi-matsuri (Portable Shrine Festival), held in early September, is another local event that shouldn’t be missed either. The bottom line here is that you’ll never be bored while in Shimokitazawa.

Shimokitazawa seems like a pretty great place to be. Next time I visit Japan I’m definitely paying this neighborhood a visit. I wonder how many other neighborhoods like this there are in Japan that I just don’t know about. Probably quite a few. I can’t wait to go back to Japan and discover all the quirky and interesting places like Shimokitazawa, the hippest place in Tokyo.

So tell me, have any of you actually been to Shimokitazawa before? Is it all it’s cracked up to be? What aspect is/seems the coolest? Let us know in the comments!

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Over the last six months or so, Japanese police have been cracking down on nightclubs, breaking up illegal activity and arresting people. What’s going on in these clubs? Are people fighting, doing copious amounts of drugs, or counterfeiting money?

Believe it or not, this flurry of police activity has been about dancing. That’s right, if you dance past a certain hour in Japan, you might find yourself at best, asked to stop; and at worst, arrested.

It’s like Footloose, but without the whole “Jesus” angle or Kevin Bacon.

Japan’s Anti-Dancing Law

You can thank all of these dance-related arrests to a 1948 law, the Entertainment Business Control Law.

In the years immediately following World War II, Japan was a mess. The country had been leveled during the war and the central government had all but collapsed. Lawlessness ran amok throughout the country.

The Japanese government tried to crack down on some illegal activities like prostitution and gambling by passing the Entertainment Business Control Law. Unfortunately, this had unforeseen consequences. The strict law not only affects prostitution and gambling, but it also impacts nightclubs too.

Dance music 60 years ago

Dancing after a certain time at night is banned, unless you have a special permit. The permit, which is separate from the numerous other permits that night clubs have to apply for, requires the club to have at least 710 ft² (66 m²) of space for dancers to get down.

This restriction might have made sense 60 years ago, but it certainly doesn’t any more.

Think about what dancing was like during the 40s compared to what it’s like now. People danced more formally, and to swing and big band music. In the 60+ years since the law, dance and dance music have changed dramatically.

Nowadays you don’t need enough room for a big band or a giant dance hall; a small dance floor and a DJ with a laptop is good enough for most people.

Recent Crackdowns

This law has been in effect for over 60 years, but hasn’t really been enforced by police until the last year or so.

In cities like Osaka, Fukuoka, and even Tokyo, police have raided clubs to stop dancing, close down the club for the night or, in some cases, arrest the owner and shut down the club for good.

Club owners are doing what they can to stem the tide of police activity. They’re put tables out in the dance floor to get in the way, posting signs around the club, and just flat-out asking people to stop dancing.

Why Now?

The main question on everybody’s mind seems to be “why now?” Most people are able to see where the law comes from and why it’s there, but if this law has been on the books for over 60 years, why is it only really being enforced now?

Some people speculate that police have only started cracking down recently because of club owners have been blatantly breaking the law for years. Japanese police can look the other way if a few clubs here and there stay open too late, but as more and more clubs keep on dancing into the night, it becomes impossible for the police to ignore.

Dance music today.

Ultimately, it’s hard to say just why dancers have only been prosecuted recently. When asked, Japanese police have been mum on why they’ve ratcheted up enforcement.

One thing’s for sure though: if you go out dancing in Japan, you’d best be on your toes.

Read more: On Getting Arrested for Dancing in Japan, If you go down to the club tonight, you’re sure of a big surprise

Thanks to Henry for emailing this story in!

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When I think of Japan I tend to think of beautiful design. Zen gardens, temples, shrines, tea ceremonies, manga, anime, wabi-sabi… the list goes on and on. Yet for some reason Japan just can’t put any of this together to make a decent looking website. Where did they go wrong? What in the world happened? Time to find out.

Japanese Websites

Let’s start out by looking at some bigger Japanese websites. These are just a few examples that will give you an idea about the “Japanese aesthetic” when it comes to web design.

Rakuten

Rakuten is a lot like the Amazon of Japan (with a bit of Ebay thrown in). Japanese websites love text, and this is no exception. While there’s a few images here, the more you scroll down, the more text you end up seeing. You’d think that a shopping site would want to have more images to entice you, but the Japanese web aesthetic of textiness is strong with this one.

NicoNicoDouga

NicoNicoDouga is like the YouTube of Japan if YouTube wasn’t already the YouTube of Japan. It’s particularly known for the ability to add comments right onto the video screen. Once again, we see a ton of text. We’ll delve into why this is in a little bit, but it must be important if you cover your video website with text instead of video, right?

Gigazine

Gigazine is a popular tech blog in Japan. It’s full of strange color choices, missing padding, and advertisements. Though this site is fairly image heavy for a Japanese website, just keep in mind that it’s catered towards the more tech-savvy, which is obviously why this is such a beautiful website. Speaking of which, how many ads can you spot?

Japanese Website Aesthetic

So what is the “Japanese Website Aesthetic?” There are quite a few patterns that show up again and again in Japanese web design, I think.

• A lot of text, really packed in there
• Smallish sized images
• Columns, usually three of them.
• Poor use of white space / padding
• (often) blue URL coloring
• CHAOS

What does this sounds like… does it sound like American web design in the 90s / Yahoo’s current design to you? It certainly feels that way to me. How did this come to be? Why is Japan, the world’s leader in robotics, hybrid cars, and Gundam models, so far behind when it comes to the web? Where did they go wrong?

Mobile Phones

Mobile phones have ruled in Japan for quite a while, though personal computers are definitely catching up. Back when Americans were getting heavy laptops and Gateway computers, the Japanese were texting up a storm on their futuristic cell phones. Because of this alternate tech history, a lot of Japanese websites were designed for flip phones and eventually this became part of the aesthetic. To make a website work well on phones like this, you need to do a few things:

• Skinny columns (that just go on top of each other on a mobile device)
• Textiness… lots and lots of textiness.
• Smaller images (they load faster!)

If you look at the example websites above, you’ll see that they have all of these things. While a lot of bigger companies have the resources to create completely separate designs for mobile and computer, smaller companies can’t do this. What’s the solution? They just end up making a website that (sort of) works in both. That explains why so many websites kind of look like they’re supposed be viewed on your phone… because they should viewed on your phone!

Slow Personal Computer Adoption

Nowadays individual computer use is really picking up in Japan. Ten or fifteen years ago, not so much. As I mentioned before, it was cell phones that won this war of Internet dominance. Now though, more and more people are starting to use personal computers. Although the current aesthetic has been built up around mobile phone use, I expect to see a shift as more and more people hop on computers. I don’t think Japan will catch up right away (it’s kind of like how developing nations are supposed to go through their industrial revolution, or something), though I do hope it moves pretty fast. I do not enjoy navigating you, Japanese web. You hurt my eyes.

Internet Explorer 6

When it comes to Internet Explorer 6 usage, Japan actually rolls in at third for the entire world. Only China (23.8%) and Korea (6.3%) out-muscle Japan (6.1%) in this out-of-date-browser-war. When you have this many people using such a terrible browser, you have to design with it in mind. IE6 limits what you can do design-wise, which means you have to make a choice: Do I make my website look not as good as it could be? Or, do I ignore this 6.1% of people and design how I want?

This isn’t even when you take into account IE7, which is better, but still not all that great to work with. Until people upgrade to better and more modern browsers, better design will remain more difficult. Not impossible, but this certainly doesn’t make things any easier. How do you get around this? Flashhhhh.

Flash

Remember when America was all into Flash? I feel like Japan’s been going through that lately, which seems right on target because they’ve always been about 10 years behind in the game that is web design. If you design in Flash, you don’t have to worry so much about IE6. That being said, the most popular phone in Japan (iPhone) doesn’t work with Flash. Right now Japanese web design is a little too buddy-buddy with flash in my opinion. It makes for poor user experience, generally, which goes right along with all the other problems that Japanese web design has. Hopefully we’ll see them kick this “fad” to the side of the road here pretty soon, especially with touchscreen mobile getting so important.

It’s Not All Bad, Though

All that being said, there’s a lot of great web design coming from Japan as well. To round out this article, I thought I’d share some examples of beautiful web design. Click on the images to see the actual site in action.

Uniqlo

Ishiyama Senkoh

Toyota Municipal Museum Of Art

Hanamichiya

Swiss

Taromagazine

Takeo Paper Show

While a lot of these websites are a lot better looking (in my opinion) than the examples shown at the top of this article, though some of them are done in Flash (ick). I suppose if you’re looking to design with IE6 in mind, Flash is a good way to get around that?

Whatever happens, though, I’m really looking forward to the evolution of Japanese web design. With everything except web design, Japan has such an interesting aesthetic. If it could be applied to Japanese web design, well, I think we’ll end up seeing some really innovative stuff.

So, here’s to hoping they don’t actually follow in our footsteps. If they can avoid the phase where everything’s a ridiculous gradient… well… I’ll be happy. Wabi-sabi it up, please.