Threads | Life

The Power of Gratitude (Part 2)

Marlene Baer — 2009-11-05T07:00:20-06:00

Part 2 of The Power of Gratitude continues. Read Part 1 here.

Now that you’re thinking of all those people you wish to thank, here are additional ways to show appreciation. And anytime you say “thanks,” be sure to tell that person specifically what it is you appreciate about him or her.

Practically Grateful

Take a surprise dinner to a friend who helped you through a tough time.
Give an after-the-party survival kit (stain remover, paper towels, and a gift certificate for a pedicure) to a party-hosting friend.
Do something unexpected for your roommate, like washing his or her car.
Write a letter of appreciation to a former teacher who influenced your life.
Place an unexpected phone call to your grandparents, parents, or a mentor and thank them for how they’ve impacted you.
In a friend’s name, sponsor a well where clean water is scarce, or donate to his or her favorite charity.
Volunteer to serve a meal at a homeless shelter, or provide a Thanksgiving grocery gift bag with all the traditional eats for a family in need. Consider making this a church community outreach effort by coordinating with your local Salvation Army or transition house.

Originally Appreciative

Arrange a bouquet of flowers, attach a note of thanks, and leave it on a friend’s doorstep to greet him or her after work.
Inscribe a favorite or meaningful book for a mentor or helpful coworker.
Host an appreciation party and invite all the significant people in your life to one special event. Write a note of appreciation to each friend, or honor each guest with public words of thanks.
Create a book of thankfulness for your parents, pastor, or friend. Have different people write notes of personal thanks for how that person impacted their lives.
Frame a collage of verses that remind you of the person you want to thank.
Get to work early and leave a piece of candy, some fruit, or a flower at every desk with personal notes of appreciation.
Send a hand-written thank-you note on your own hand-crafted card.

On the Big Day

Before you start feasting on sweet potato casserole, here are some unique ways to share your gratitude on Thanksgiving day and start new thankful traditions.

Express your thanks through decorations. Make napkin rings or place cards, writing down each guest’s name and why you’re thankful for him or her.
Create a family Thanksgiving album of your favorite pictures throughout the year. Reflecting on your memories from trips or time with friends is a great way to count the blessings of life. Have everyone write something they’re thankful for alongside the pics. Bring out the album each Thanksgiving and continue the tradition.
As a way of saying thanks by paying it forward, organize your own food drive by asking guests coming to Thanksgiving dinner to bring along a canned food item to donate to a local food pantry.
Put everyone’s name into a bowl, and draw names before dinner. Afterwards, share why you’re thankful for the person whose name you drew and what quality in him or her you admire most.
Show thanks for the chef and hosts by taking charge of clean-up duty.
In Joshua 4:2-7, Joshua created a monument of thankfulness for his children to see for ages to come. In the same symbolic way, pass out smooth stones and a sharpie to everyone and have them write down a word, symbol, or phrase on the stone (along with their initials) to signify what they are most thankful for. Place the stones in a basket to bring out each year, adding more to the collection.
Through prayer, thank God for His many attributes—Creator, Healer, Sustainer, Provider, Comforter, Savior, Holy One.

Carole Lewis, author of A Thankful Heart, says, “When we show thankfulness to those we meet each day at the cleaners, grocery store, or at our job, we are extending blessings into their lives. God tells us in Mark 12:30 that the greatest commandment is to love God with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. He says that the second greatest commandment is that we love our neighbor as our self. We show love to God by loving others.”

This simple act of showing love to others by saying “thank you,” no matter how you choose to say those two important words, is a contagious act that will change your heart in the process.

Making the Thanks Fit the Favor

Wonder what the etiquette experts have to say about how to say thanks for specific favors? RealSimple.com has surveyed the experts and gracious gift-givers regarding 20 common and confusing situations that mandate thank-yous. From good deeds such as watching your pet while you’re on vacation to family friends hosting you for a night at their home, the site offers creative suggestions that will strike the right note of showing your appreciation.

At a Loss for Words?

Sometimes it’s hard to get past the first two words in a thank-you card and to put your gratefulness into a meaningful expression. If you’re suffering from writer’s block, my-thank-you-site.com has ready-to-use verses, quotes, and poems to help.

The Power of Gratitude (Part 1)

Marlene Baer — 2009-11-04T13:48:50-06:00

G.K. Chesterton once said, “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” Expressing gratitude by saying “thank you” is a profound and simple act, but has it become a forgotten art?

With Thanksgiving around the corner, it seems appropriate to reflect on all the things we are thankful for. But those thoughts can often be fleeting as we become consumed with holiday travel plans and look forward to a meal of turkey topped off with pumpkin pie, followed by the tryptophan sleepiness that will render us replete before the football game of the day.

So before you start scheduling your trip and making a mental list of all of the things you’re thankful for, let’s first examine the source of our thankfulness. We’re reminded in Scripture again and again about God’s goodness: “Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever” (Psalm 107:1). “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift” (2 Corinthians 9:15).

When we are truly grateful for God’s power at work in us and God’s gift of life, we cannot contain this joy. From this thankfulness comes an outpouring of gratitude that is contagious, infectious, and life-giving to those around us.

In an online Christianity Today interview on his book Ruthless Trust, Brennan Manning said, “When somebody is aware of [God’s] love, the same love that the Father has for Jesus, that person is just spontaneously grateful. Cries of thankfulness become the dominant characteristic of the interior life, and the by-product of gratitude is joy. We’re not joyful and then become grateful; we’re grateful and that makes us joyful.”

This joy, an outgrowth of our gratitude, also inspires us to act and to utter, in word or in deed, two very powerful words—thank you. Knowing exactly how to express those two words can be unique to each situation and to each person. Perhaps you’ve wondered how to best give thanks when more than words are necessary. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, express to your friends, family, roommate, coworkers, and mentors just how much they mean to you.

In his book The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman shares that we express our love and appreciation for others in the way we like to have love shown to us. Different personalities show love in different ways through five specific love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. Learning someone’s love language is a unique lens for conveying gratitude. While giving a wrapped gift or a physical pat on the back are often our default expressions of thanks, move beyond autopilot by considering some of these ideas.

Now That’s Quality

Rather than giving a store-bought present to show gratitude, offer the gift of your time. Quality time can be expressed in a conversation over a cup of coffee, where you really take time to listen and dig beneath the surface. Thankfulness can also be conveyed through time spent enjoying an activity together. “The emphasis is not on what you are doing but on why you are doing it,” Chapman says. And sometimes that means doing things that you don’t necessarily enjoy.

Krista, 35, of Santa Barbara, Calif., has learned that the gift of time is the perfect way to express thanks to her mom. “When I’ve promised to spend the day with my mom and help her with computer issues, she feels blessed,” Krista shares. “I also have to promise that I’ll be patient, because patience is not one of my gifts!”

Say It With Words

Showing appreciation for someone can also be expressed through words of affirmation and encouragement. Whether written in a card or expressed verbally, the dialect of affirmation has the power to restore and deepen any relationship.

Before John, 31, from Morgan Hill, Calif., was diagnosed with cancer, he would often bring smiles and laughter to his friends. “When I was going through chemotherapy and really struggling, I had ‘fairies’ come by my house and decorate my driveway with Bible verses, drawings, and special quotes that made me smile and laugh. It seems they wanted to return the favor.”

John’s friends articulated their gratitude for his friendship in such a tangible way that John’s neighbors were even able to witness God’s love in action.

Serve It Up

Do you have the gift of hospitality? Do you like to cook or fix things? Are you a lean, mean, cleaning and organizing machine? Rather than mailing a thank-you card, consider expressing your gratitude for others through an act of service, utilizing your own special gifts.

To thank his friends for always opening up their bachelor pad for dinners and social functions, Carl, 36, from Silicon Valley, Calif., decided to surprise his compadres by fixing up their neglected bachelor bathroom. He bought new towels and a shower curtain and scrubbed down the entire lavatory to a “Mr. Clean” shine.

Adah, 40, of Mountain View, Calif., thanked a mentor couple in her church community group by surprising them with breakfast and fresh flowers when they returned from a long vacation, knowing they’d be too exhausted to go to the store after their long flight.

Whether you show your gratitude through a hug, a gift, quality time, encouraging words, or service, learning someone’s primary love language is an incredible way to say “thanks.”

Click here for Part 2: More practical and creative ways to say “thanks,” and not just on Thanksgiving.

Get Uncomfortable: A Problem of Geography

Todd Phillips — 2009-11-02T13:45:10-06:00

Americans live in a cocoon. This cocoon—made from the interwoven silks of economic, political, and ideological freedoms—effectively isolates us from connecting to (or fully understanding) the way in which the vast majority of people on this planet live. Here are some basic figures about life outside that cocoon: One third of the world—that’s about two billion men, women, and children—lives on less than $2 a day. That’s $60 a month, $720 a year. Some of us spend that much on our cars each month (car payment, insurance, gas, and so on). That ought to be enough for us to realize there’s a need.

Our national economy and political freedoms are not the only things that separate us from understanding the way the majority of the world lives. We further separate ourselves as believers by refusing to educate ourselves on the more than 2,000 verses in Scripture that clearly reveal the following perspectives: God’s heart for the poor and oppressed; the true condition of our world; our responsibility and opportunity to spread the gospel by serving others in need; and the promise that God will empower His children to accomplish His goal of justice and mercy for all the world through His Son, Jesus Christ.

As Christ-followers in the United States, we tend to feed ravenously on every passage of Scripture that refers to the blessings we receive from God. While we gorge ourselves on those verses, we by and large give very little time to the many passages that speak of self-denial, service, sacrifice, suffering for the sake of the gospel, and sharing in the misery of others.

As quick as I am to judge our actions as the people of God toward the poor and oppressed (I put myself at the front of the line), I’m equally quick to absolve most believers from blame for our collective inactivity. In fact, I’m surprised that we aren’t even less aware than we currently are of the global crises that plague the majority of humankind. Given how sparingly Scripture regarding God’s desire for our involvement in social action is preached, it is amazing that these issues are acknowledged at all. This is our first and greatest problem.

The cynical side of me thinks that social justice is not preached because people who are poor and oppressed can’t do the two things that most preachers want everyone to do—attend their churches and give to their causes. Additionally, my own experience as a pastor helps me understand that these topics are not addressed from the pulpit because “service” and “sacrifice” in Jesus’ name is difficult to teach in today’s consumer-driven church culture.

In such a culture, the preacher is only as good as his last sermon. He is rated by the straw poll every week as people gather in the lobby to talk about their approval or disapproval of the day’s message. In this environment, many preachers stay away from the controversial subjects out of concern for reprisal in the form of lower attendance.

Secondly, our churches aren’t structured toward responding effectively to these global issues. Many churches in the U.S. today, especially the larger they get, become like country clubs rather than spiritual hospitals. Over time we become concerned about our needs more than the needs of others. We become so focused on our own personal or corporate growth and maturity in Christ that we miss out on countless opportunities to grow and mature through service and sacrifice.

Church slowly becomes all about us and little else. Reggie McNeal puts it this way: “[Church] members obviously have needs for pastoral care and spiritual growth. It is critical that these issues be addressed. However, I am raising the question of how many church activities for the already-saved are justified where there are people out there who have never been touched with Jesus’ love? The answer is a whole lot less than we’ve got going on now.”¹

Excerpted from the Threads short-term study Get Uncomfortable, by Todd Phillips.

Reggie McNeal, *Present Future* (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003), 32. ↩

Get Over Yourself

Jason Boyett — 2009-10-22T05:00:32-06:00

Pride—our culture doesn’t typically give it much thought, but to the early church, pride was considered one of the most destructive of all sins. Trouble is, it’s also a sin that comes pretty naturally to us. So how do we fight it?

Refocus

Instead of trying to subtract pride from your life, try to add something in its place—think servanthood. Being a servant means dying to self whether your act of service is going on a mission trip or opening a door for someone. Focusing less on yourself and more on others is a good step toward defeating pride.

Worship Often

Practicing the discipline of worship removes our attention from ourselves and directs it toward God. Whether in public or private, worship helps us remember that the things that make us most proud—our accomplishments or our talents—are gifts from God. They’re not ours to claim.

Repeat It

Commit Philippians 2:3-4 to memory: “Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Repeat these verses to yourself any time you find yourself worried about getting attention or wishing others would bow to your personal convenience.

Quit Trying

Conquering pride on your own only leads to feeling proud of your accomplishment—which kinda defeats the purpose. Ultimately, only the Holy Spirit can help us take small steps toward unselfishness. Ask God to change your perspective. Ask Him to help you see past yourself and to develop within you a deeper concern for others.

Living on a Prayer: Incorporating God Into Your Every Moment

Matt Tullos — 2009-10-08T09:00:47-06:00

I’d love to be the kind of believer who oozes spirituality, but the real me is a scattered, messy, stumbling Christ-follower. My life is filled with to-do’s, deadlines, meals on the go, and Skype. Is there any reason to think I could ever be good at prayer? Of course! And if that’s something you’ve ever wondered, you can too. The reality is, most of us are way too busy to ignore the mystical, practical, whimsical, illogical gift of prayer.

The only real way you will ever see continuous, intimate, radical prayer is to make prayer a breath, a time, a space, and a celebration. (I’ll explain—hopefully.) Prayer should be a dance throughout your day. It’s a constant conversation between two people—you and God. He seeks to hear from you. He wants to know your struggles, your joys, your sorrows. Newsflash: It’s not a secret; God is accessible to you at any moment and in any place. You can stop and pray like you stop to say hello to the guy you see every day in the flannel shirt chewing on a coffee stirrer in the hallway. The only difference is that the guy in the flannel shirt is not invisible, and he didn’t create the universe. You can learn to pray like you breathe. In with the epiphanies—the God-winks you see in your day—and out with cries for mercy and deep groans of desperation. Here are a few ideas on how to bring prayer to the forefront of your daily walk with God.

SIMPLE ONE-BREATH PRAYERS

I pray the prayers of the ancient church. The oldest is my favorite: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy.” Say it three times, and it’ll begin to roll out off your tongue. It’s a general prayer that says, “I’m at the mercy of the One who now reigns as my Big Brother and Almighty God. And I beg for His mercy throughout the day.” Exams, parents, fears, future plans, broken relationships. It’s a key prayer and it reminds me that this Savior of mine wants me to acknowledge that He is there every step of the way, and He enters my life with power when I invite Him.

Other one breath prayers include:

Yes, God.
Help, Lord.
Show me, Jesus.
Be my Father right now.
Speak, God.

But for some reason I’m stuck on the ancient one: “Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy.”

THE PRAYER BENCH

I am extremely ADD, an un-medicated collage of daydreaming and distractions, so it helps me to have a place to fall into prayer. Something that involves my knees. For me this is a prayer bench. It tells my body that I’m not answering the text, not surfing the Web, and not talking to anyone or focusing on anything else when I kneel at the bench. It’s a God moment that sometimes lasts 117 seconds and other times lasts until my knee caps go numb. A prayer bench is just a tool—a place to go to say things to God. There’s nothing powerful about the bench itself, but it reminds me that I’m a beggar who knows where to go for the good stuff of life.

PRAYING THE BIBLE

When I don’t know how to pray, I head for the Psalms. I read them aloud like a fortune cookie, only the stuff I read has real insight rather than random, surfacy gobledy-goop. It really, really works. It does. Try Psalm 28:1-2 as a starting place:

Don’t turn a deaf ear when I call you, GOD. If all I get from you is deafening silence, I’d be better off in the Black Hole. I’m letting you know what I need, calling out for help and lifting my arms toward your inner sanctum.

Psalm 28:1-2, The Message

JOURNALING

Sometimes I have to see proof that God is at work. And one way I do that is by keeping a prayer journal. I write prayers and worship thoughts. I share my struggles as if I’m speaking to God through my pen. This fermentation process allows me to review where I’ve been and where He has led me too. You can journal to God in hard copy or on an online anonymous blog. It’s easy to create this through Tumblr, Blogger, or TypePad.

TWEETING YOUR PRAYERS

Some of my prayers are like e-mails. Short. Under, say … 140 characters. For those prayers, I twitter. Twittering my prayers is fun because other people see what you are praying for and they begin to pray too! I don’t have a huge Twitter following; just about 175 people. But I’ve heard from many who’ve been prompted to pray for the same stuff I’m praying for that day.

ROAD TRIP

Once a year I make a little pilgrimage to the wilderness. I leave with a toothbrush and a Bible. I try to go where no one will find me. I turn off the cell and just have a day of silence. Do you know how completely rare that is? Just silence? I have time to wrestle through my sorrow, anger, fear, and confusion. God usually shows up after two hours or so and I get about as close to a supernatural experience as I’ll have in the year. Try it once and it will change your life. A whole day disconnected from your life? Sure, it’s strangely Victorian. But it’s interesting … every time I’ve done this, the earth continued to spin just fine without me. Who knew? But if you decide to throw caution to the wind, be sure to remember the basic laws of safety—from weather, forest dwellers, and of course the boogey man.

TWO OR THREE

And then I have my accountability guy. Actually I have two—I’m a tough case. I meet weekly with two guys, and we are allowed to ask anything and say anything. Sometimes the honesty is scary. But it’s like a little mini-church, and we spend a good bit of our time in prayer for one another. It’s an epic part of my weekly routine.

I’m not a spiritual giant, but I’ve grown closer to God because I’ve made it a habit to take time to figure out ways I can connect to Him. I hope you’ll try one or two or three or …

This article originally appeared in Collegiate magazine.

Rosh Hashanah

Derek Leman — 2009-10-02T09:00:18-06:00

Editor’s Note: Three of the major feasts of the Jewish calendar occur in September and October. Embracing these feasts, and the principles upon which they are built, reminds Christians of their heritage and ultimately point squarely to the gospel. If you’re interested in learning more about the links between Judaism and Christianity, and finding Christ sitting at the table of tradition, check out Feast, a Bible study from Threads by Derek Leman.

Rosh Hashanah, like many Jewish traditions, can be confusing. The name Rosh Hashanah is not in the Bible. It means “head of the year” or “new year.” Yet nothing in the Bible says it’s the new year. It is, in fact, the first day of the seventh month in the Bible.

To begin to understand this confusing day, we need to go back to the beginning, to the Torah and what it says. What we find there seems rather unspectacular. Yet in modern Judaism this is one of the greatest days of all. So how did something so humble become so great?

Sometimes great things seem small. Sometimes the holy breaks through the insignificant. Sometimes a little thing is so profound it becomes a big thing:

“The LORD spoke to Moses: ‘Tell the Israelites: in the seventh month, on the first [day] of the month, you are to have a day of complete rest, commemoration and jubilation—a sacred assembly. You must not do any daily work, but you must present a fire offering to the LORD’” (Leviticus 23:23-25).

It’s a day of solemn rest—a Shabbaton. But every Sabbath is a solemn rest, according to Exodus 31:15. Every week from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown is a day of rest for Israel and the Jewish people. There is nothing unusual about Rosh Hashanah being a solemn rest. It’s also a sacred proclamation, a memorial. But again, other days are sacred proclamations and memorials.

The uniqueness is found in the trumpet blasts. It is a sacred proclamation with trumpet blasts. It is a day of blowing. No other day in the Jewish calendar is designated this way.

Was the first day of the seventh month a sort of Israelite jazz festival? Did horn players come from all over the Near East to play for shekels in the streets? No, this was a religious blowing. The trumpet in question was not a metal trumpet, though these also existed and were used in the Bible. The trumpet used for Rosh Hashanah is very different.

The trumpet used is called a shofar (sounds like “SO far”), or a ram’s horn. They can also be made from the horns of other animals. These were common trumpets. Every family could afford to have one. There were enough shofars in Israel to be able to fill the land with the sound on the first day of the seventh month.

The shofar was used in various ways in ancient Israel: The trumpet was heard in God’s appearance at Mt. Sinai (Ex. 19:16). The trumpet was used to gather armies to battle (Judg. 3:27). The trumpet marked the special Jubilee year in which debts were remitted and slaves set free (Lev. 25:9). The trumpet was used at the coronation of kings (1 Kings 1:34).

The sound of the shofar gets your attention. It calls on you to hear. It may sound the alarm, announcing armies approaching or calling soldiers to battle. It may sound release, announcing the year of freedom, the Jubilee. But the sound of a trumpet always meant changing the status quo. The sharp sound called for attention and change.

The rabbis derived a command from Leviticus 23:24. They decided that God would not command the shofars to be blown unless the people were supposed to hear. Thus, it is a command in Judaism that every Jew who can hear must listen to a shofar on Rosh Hashanah. In ancient Israel, shofars were blown from every town, village, and hilltop throughout the land.

Imagine it: Across the semi-arid hills a wavering note issues. It is joined by another and another, miles apart yet joining in a chorus. Long blasts of one mighty note, wavering blasts of three mournful notes, and punctuated blasts of nine triumphant notes issue in succession. This music of the hills is calling to the land. It’s speaking to everyone who has ears to hear.

But what is it saying? Are there armies approaching? Must the men, women, and children of Israel’s many towns and villages prepare for war? Huddled in their courtyards the people listen. But on Rosh Hashanah, it’s a blessing to hear the sound. It’s also a commandment to hear the sound.

Sacred Roads Releases TODAY! A note from the author . . .

Jenny Williams — 2009-10-01T07:00:37-06:00

Today is the official release of the newest Threads study, Sacred Roads: Exploring the Historic Paths of Discipleship. Check out this video message from author Heather Zempel.

Sacred Roads takes a look at a few faces of discipleship including: relational discipleship, experiential discipleship, intellectual discipleship, personal discipleship, and incarnational discipleship, finding the worthwhile attributes of each and providing practical ways to implement each expression into our modern pursuit of Christ.

The Sacred Roads Leader Kit includes: DVD with experiential videos, bonus leader features, and promotional tools; Enhanced CD with Leader Guide and tools, articles, e-mailable audio files and music; Sacred Roads member book

For more video messages from Heather Zempel, a free sample from the Sacred Roads member book, and more, click here.

Spend This, Not That: Easy Ways to Help Stretch Your Bottom Dollar

Dan Ewald — 2009-09-24T05:00:23-06:00

There’s probably a reason recession is only a few letters different than depression. The troubled economy has left a lot of folks discouraged and dispirited. But it doesn’t have to be so bad. Penny pinching sounds undesirable to some, but changing your lifestyle is easier than you might think. I was challenged to flex my spending muscle in five major areas of daily life. Some of the suggestions may not work for you, but others might be helpful on your path toward living a more frugal lifestyle.

Grocery Shopping

Obviously we know we should be clipping coupons like our parents did. But that’s time consuming and few people even get the Sunday paper anymore. My key to saving money at the market is a three-tiered approach. It takes a bit more time and a few more stops, but it really pays off.

First, start your shopping at the cheapest store around—the dollar store. Spend money there and every other market will seem overpriced and make you reconsider what you actually need. Once you pay $1 for shaving cream, you’ll never pay $3.99 again. Next stop, the warehouse store with no club fees. Just pay close attention to the price per unit to make sure you’re getting the best deal. Make your regular grocery store or farmer’s market your last stop. This is the place to swing in and buy what you couldn’t find elsewhere. Put your iPod on and make it a fast, enjoyable trip as you grab the produce, milk, and yogurt you need to round out your list.

EASY GROCERY TIP: If you only have time to stop at the grocery store, make a policy of buying items that are on sale that week as much as possible. Train your eye to search for those brightly-colored sale stickers. If you see something you eat a lot of, like peanut butter, and it’s half-off, you can buy three and make it last for several months.

Clothes Shopping

I wear nothing but Diesel, Guess, and Polo. I also own a pair of $900 shoes from Prada, yet I don’t spend more than $300 a year on clothes. How? I shop at a thrift store in the trendiest area of town, where the best-dressed residents live. I haven’t shopped at a mall in nine years and I don’t miss it one bit. Malls are for unruly teens, I tell myself. I even refuse to go to movie theaters in shopping centers. I like to pretend malls are relics of the ’80s, like Rubix cubes and Alex P. Keaton.

EASY CLOTHING TIP: If you didn’t wear it in a 12-month period, it’s gone. For me, that means keeping only one suit for weddings and funerals and limiting myself to one coat, since I live in a state with a warmer climate.

Entertainment

The same 12-month rule can apply to entertainment. If you haven’t listened to certain CDs or watched some DVDs within the past year, do you really need those items taking up valuable space? And let’s be honest, how good could those have been anyway if they barely crossed your mind in the past year?

Think of all the different ways you can enjoy a flick with your friends, other than the pricey cinema. A friend of mine hosts summer screenings in his backyard and projects the film on the side of his house. Check with your church to see if they have a projector you could rent or borrow.

Build evenings out of major cultural events—the last night of “American Idol,” the Super Bowl, or a major awards show. Friends of mine annually host an Oscar party where everyone must bring a treat inspired by one of the nominees.

The classic date structure is dinner and a movie. Try flipping the two—movie, then dinner. Go to a matinee and get dinner afterward. It’ll save you a few bucks. Or figure out a childhood activity neither of you have ever done, like playing jacks or flying a kite. Then head to the dollar store to pick up the item and try the challenge together. It may go well, it may not, but you’ll probably end up laughing—and perhaps your romance will take flight as well.

EASY ENTERTAINMENT TIP: When hanging out with friends or someone you’ve been dating a while, video the fun you’re having. You can extend that great day by watching the video later in the evening without dropping another dime.

Dining Out

I treat going to a restaurant as an exotic adventure I can only afford to do a few times a year … the equivalent of going out of town for a weekend trip to the mountains. Seriously. I almost never eat out. But if you must be a normal person and go out to eat, apply the classic rule of grocery shopping (“never shop hungry”) to dinner. Most people save their appetite before eating out, which means they’re more likely to buy appetizers and maybe even dessert. Having a snack an hour before you leave for the restaurant reduces the chance of blowing unnecessary money. If you must go hungry, at least go somewhere that offers free bread and fill up on that.

Just be wise when you do decide to go out for meals. Maybe a coffeehouse is a better, cheaper blind date. Why splurge on an entire meal for two if you’re unsure about the person? If spending too much money in restaurants is a particular problem for you, think about how long you worked (in minutes) to buy that appetizer you barely nibbled.

EASY DINING TIP: If you do go out regularly, make a rule of never ordering soda. A soda at a restaurant costs four times what it costs at home. Drink water. Eating food in public while being waited on by another person is enough of an indulgence. Who are you, Oprah?

Gift Giving

Buying gifts for birthdays and at the holidays can create major holes in your pockets. Whenever one of my sisters has a baby—and this happens frequently—my first appropriate thought is, What a blessing. A gift from heaven. My second, less-appropriate thought is, Wow. Another niece or nephew to buy gifts for. I firmly believe that children under the age of 4 can handle very cheap gifts (a month’s supply of wet wipes, for example). They’re never going to remember what their Uncle Dan got ‘em anyway. As they get older, I start to spend more and more.

The key to shopping for adults is to buy throughout the year. Create a shelf or closet space specifically for gift giving. If you’re on vacation and find souvenirs for your family, save those items for next Christmas rather than giving the gifts upon your return. When a store is closing, attack! Buy up presents and keep them in a designated spot until someone you love has a birthday. And purchasing sale-priced items throughout the year is another way to make gift giving easier on the wallet.

If you really have no extra cash, figure out free ways to show someone your love. A framed, handwritten thought on nice paper could mean as much as any present. Consider using your time as a gift. If one of your siblings is disorganized and you’re not, maybe a morning of free organizational help would be the best birthday gift you could give. Detail a friend’s dirty car, rake your Grandma’s lawn—whatever. Think of the tedious tasks you do well in your own life and offer to do them for the people you care about.

EASY GIFTING TIP: Buy right after the season, like getting Thanksgiving decorations in December when they’re 75 percent off. Next year you’ll love the surprises you didn’t remember buying.

Spending less doesn’t have to mean living less well. Following some of these tips will make living in a troubled economy less troubling. Soon enough you’ll find yourself squeezing much more out of that last bottom dollar.

Super Spirituality: Are You a Faith Snob? (Part 2)

Jason Hayes — 2009-09-17T17:00:39-06:00

Part 2 of Super Spirituality: Are You a Faith Snob? continues … You can read Part 1 here.

What Should We Do?

As we better understand the impact of spiritual snobbery in our lives, how can we avoid being guilty of it? As with all elements of the Christian walk, we should cautiously approach any prescriptive path toward holiness. In fact, this often leads to legalism, which sits at the core of many people’s spiritual arrogance. But there are a few helpful action points toward refuting faith snobbery. And as my straightforward colleague Jason says, “We know it’s a problem. Now it’s time for us to get active and do something about it.”

Think it over. It’s vital to acknowledge that we are all at risk of falling into this trap. We should always keep this concern at the forefront of our faith as we seek to honor Christ in everything we do. In fact, it seems those who believe they are least guilty of spiritual uppitiness are often the ones who need to examine themselves the most.

Some have a better grasp on it than others, but it’s a never-ending struggle. In a moment of real brokenness, a buddy admitted to me, “I always thought of others as egotistic or prideful. Unfortunately, the Lord had to remind me that I was also slipping into looking down on others and thinking too highly of myself.”

Hang out with the right people. Though God has positioned you in the life of people strategically, be wise in picking who is closest to you. If the people in your inner circle are faith snobs, then you are at greater risk of becoming one too. If this is the case for you currently, step up and lovingly make it known to those individuals. If you need to, separate yourself some.

Seek God deeply and actively. It’s unrealistic to think that we can respond well in times of prideful temptation if we’re not prepared in advance. So actively growing in our relationship with God is critical. When we fill our hearts and minds with the things of God, we are also positioning ourselves to reflect character traits that please Him. Humility is not of our flesh. Our carnal self, the flesh, is manifested most when we aren’t walking daily with the Father.

In the words of C.S. Lewis, “A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you’re looking down, you can’t see something that’s above you.” Let’s not miss out on this opportunity because of our own spiritual snootiness. Let’s move beyond the things of our selfish pride and move toward loving God, loving each other, and loving those who desperately need Him.

Scriptures to Meditate On

Proverbs 3:34—”He mocks those who mock but gives grace to the humble.”
Proverbs 11:2—”When pride comes, disgrace follows, but with humility comes wisdom.”
Matthew 23:12—”Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”
Romans 12:3—”For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one.”
Philippians 2:3—”Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.”
1 Corinthians 13:4—”Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited.”

Pompous & Circumstances

Are you spiritually snobby? Answer these questions to get some perspective.

Do you ever find yourself pitying others for their inferior spiritual wisdom or intelligence?
Do you pray for others to “see the truth” when you aren’t praying the same thing for yourself?
Do you make jokes about other believers or denominations?
Do you spend more time thinking about what others think than what God thinks?
Do you disregard your own sins in light of their apparent minor nature as compared to others’ sins?
Do you carry a big Bible because you want others to think you are more holy, not so you can read the font more easily?
Do you ever truly consider the spiritual well-being of anyone besides yourself?

If you answered yes to one or more questions, it might be time to ask God to help you change your attitude.

Super Spirituality: Are You a Faith Snob? (Part 1)

Jason Hayes — 2009-09-10T08:00:56-06:00

One of my greatest desires is to be humble. When people hear the word humble, I want them to immediately think of me. I want to become the national spokesman for an organization that’s about humility. In fact, I’m hoping to get a large statue of myself erected in downtown Nashville, Tenn., with a huge plaque naming me “a model of humility for the ages.” At the end of the day, I’m striving to become the most celebrated humble person in the world.

OK, OK. What you just read about “humility” is made-up. But unfortunately, a noticeable absence of true biblical humility among some Christians is real. As a result, a prevalence of spiritual snobbery is all too common. Although this arrogance probably doesn’t show itself quite the way I described, it’s certainly happening.

What Does It Look Like?

What is it really? Spiritual arrogance is about losing appropriate perspective on who we are in Christ and how that affects our relationships with others. It’s about placing more emphasis on self as opposed to God. It’s about thinking that we have answers to questions when we don’t while also mishandling the answers that we do have. This type of arrogance shows up in different forms, but it’s probably most commonly seen in three ways.

A “saved = better” mentality. Although we should naturally be excited about our faith, to believe that we are superior to nonbelievers is wrong. Yes, we’re different. Yes, we have new life in Christ. Yes, we will spend eternity with God. No, we adamantly are not better.

In fact, a misunderstanding of this only lessens the power of God’s grace in our lives. We must not forget foundational passages like Romans 3:23 in which we see that, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” God made Christ to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21). In other words, there’s nothing good in us but Christ alone. So we aren’t better. He is better.

A friend of mine, Sarah, sums it up nicely: “In that Jesus was a wonderful example of humility, we’re hypocritical if we call ourselves Christians and then don’t model it too.”
An inaccurate view of sin. When Christians begin to view certain sins as acceptable and others as not, spiritual arrogance steps in. All too often we’re guilty of weighting sins as “big sins” or “little sins,” like how quickly we rebuke homosexuality but seemingly turn our heads to gossip.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer says in The Cost of Discipleship, “Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others, we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as ourselves.” While many sins do have more significant social and relational ramifications, all sins are equally displeasing to God.
The “I’m right” complex. An unfortunate reality, the “I’m right” complex is seen when Christians feel superior to other Christians with differing denominational affinity, theological leanings, or ministry practices. They believe their perspective is correct and all others are wrong.

A sense of inferiority is often donned upon anyone who doesn’t line up with a particular stance on various issues. For some, this is sadly expressed in a near-hostile manner as they blast out on blogs and strive to have the loudest and last word in any discussion. For others, this arrogance is much more private. Some may never verbalize their feelings to anyone, much less those they look down on.

But the challenge in all of this is to avoid spiritual superiority while also maintaining a commitment to truth. I’m certainly not implying that there is no absolute truth or that you should compromise your core beliefs. However, spiritual arrogance is much less about differences and much more about attitude. It’s completely possible to be 100 percent committed to your opinions without belittling others who disagree. Some of the apologists, pastors, and individuals whom I respect the most often find themselves in disagreement with others. Disagreement is fine. Degradation is not.

Why Does This Matter?

So what’s it to you? Well, the impact of spiritual snootiness is significant for many reasons.

It’s in the Bible. There really is no way around this. Quite simply, God doesn’t approve of spiritual elitism. In 2 Corinthians 10:18 we read, “For it is not the one commending himself who is approved, but the one the Lord commends.” We also see that “pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). And finally, Isaiah tells us, “Woe to those who are wise in their own opinion and clever in their own sight” (Isaiah 5:21). Scriptures like this continue to affirm that we should be exalting God and not ourselves.
It limits growth. We learned to read because we identified the need to. Same goes for driving, new technology, and most other things. However, the moment we lose sight of our need to keep growing in Christ or to keep learning is the moment we become spiritual snobs. Paul reminds us of this in Philippians 3:12 —”Not that I have already reached the goal, or am already mature, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus.”
It creates dissension. Spiritual arrogance creates division in both the universal church and our local churches. It’s sad when Christians are known for their disagreements more than their common cause. Clearly everyone won’t agree on every facet of theology or Christian living; however, our differences must be handled with love and not haughtiness or egotism. Spiritual bigheadedness places people in opposition who should be better known for their unity. John 13:34-35 tells us, “Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
It distorts ministry focus. As we move toward biblical humility, we become more aware of what we have received in Christ. When our hearts are appropriately focused on the things of God, we are less prone to lose sight of what we’ve been given by Him. The way that God loves, redeems, and sustains us daily is a gift we don’t deserve. Spiritual arrogance, unfortunately, causes us to think more about ourselves than other people. And we don’t share the good news with people who we don’t think about or, for that matter, really care about.
It steals our credibility. Imagine a stylist with a bad haircut or a personal trainer who’s out of shape. When people’s actions and what they promote don’t line up, it causes others to wonder about their credibility. If certain things are foundational to what people believe, then why aren’t they foundational to how they act? As Christ-followers, this applies to us too. Actually, it may apply to us even more than it does to others. Our ability to tell the world about Jesus, who embodied humility, is greatly lessened when we don’t model it ourselves.

Click here for Part 2: A quick test to see if you’re spiritually snobby, and tips for how to overcome it.