TW's many many random musings....

Hit your bahu all you want... it's OK!

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:29:00 +0000

The Indian justice system says so. In a recent ruling on a domestic abuse and cruelty case, the supreme court ruled that -

"The action of woman merely kicking her daughter-in-law with her leg or threatening her with divorce will not come within the meaning of “cruelty” under Section 498 A of the Indian Penal Code, the Supreme Court has held."

I came across this dismaying piece first in TOI and given the paper sordid reputation double checked with the Hindu. Unfortunately, it was the same story (better written) there as well. You can read the full news article here.

Interestingly, the court also ruled that taking away "gifts" from the couple is a "breach of trust" and hence punishable under section 406 of IPC.

The original statement of Section 498-A, dowry law, IPC is: “Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such a woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine"

Granted, there has been some abuse of the dowry law by conspiring women who have falsely accused for GOK-what personal benefit. But, the law is there for a reason: protection of married women (and frankly, in our country, such a law is absolutely necessary!). Passing verdicts that physical and mental abuse is ok, it is only the monetary part that is illegal, completely invalidates the spirit of the protection itself!

And, please tell me, which law has NOT been abused a bit?! Only, if women do that, they are labelled conniving and abusive. Laws have been bent since time immemorial but now if a woman twists a law that targets them, they suddenly have to be taught a lesson ??!!

cartoon courtesy: cartoonstock.com

don't yak so much yaar...

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:46:00 +0000

Hmmm.. I have been MIA from this space for quite sometime... But, interestingly, as I notice, so have many of those whom I follow ... So what's happening with everyone?

Btw, I was thinking of posting on SRK's shameless self advertising and Indians' belief in "we are all equal, some just more than the others" motto.... but I think that about covers my reaction to that...

Sometimes I think, in today's world of virtual freedom of expression, we bloggers perhaps over-discuss things thereby giving some topics more attention than they really deserve. Case in point - SRK from line above.

Perhaps, deliberately ignoring and freezing out something/somebody is sometimes the best tactic.... Imagine, if nobody made a big deal of SRK allegations and our own government's deplorable reaction to it, then he wouldn't be getting so much secondary publicity out of it.... After all, all publicity is good publicity :)

Ah well, and in saying so, I did the same thing, didn't I?! Sighh... how do we draw the line?

Epic Chauvinism

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 22:00:00 +0000

I just finished reading "Palace of Illusions" by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, which, a friend had recommended and let me say this outright; it is a very well-written book that is a pleasure to read as much for the novel approach (Mahabharath through the eyes of Draupadi is compelling) as the flow of language.

I loved the story of Mahabharath (the original epic) and still remember waiting for the clock to strike 10 every Sunday to watch the epic recreated on the TV screen. Ofcourse, much credit to Vyasa for spinning the original gripping and moralistic tale.

I know that the story is really a very long Aesop fable that propounds the many righteous ways of living life. It teaches that no one is perfect; everyone, good or bad, is capable of folly and our actions govern the consequences of it and hence our "destiny" is as we choose, always. Most importantly, I think it preaches mind over matter in so many ways.

However, as I read Chitra's book and recalled the original story of Mahabharath, I couldn't help but realise that it is a largely chauvinistic creation! Women are either treated as sacrificial lambs, hapless with no power to make decisions, even those affecting them or portrayed as insidious, malicious, conniving, vengeful creatures who are the cause of all the death and destruction! Oh as a consolation, the men are all brawns and no brains!!! :O

When Kunti asks Draupadi to become the wife of all five Pandavas rather than just Arjun, the decision was made amongst the men (her father, her brother, prospective husbands and a sage!) and no one asked her. At the ill-fated game of dice, Yudiishter pawns his wife without her consent. In fact, apparently the law of the land said "The wife is the property of the husband, no less so than a cow or a slave" and "If perchance a man lost himself, he no longer had any jurisdiction over his wife"!!!

Obviously, they do not acknowledge women as individuals but merely objects to be owned and perhaps bartered for gain! Along with the inescapable fact that a woman's honor is less important than the law of the land. Men treasured their word more than their wife; their duties as husband! Ofcourse, this is glossed over even more by Krishna's words to Draupadi "No one can shame you, if you don't allow it". Rather convenient, I must say!

And, they wonder why a woman's wrath can be so powerful! Really?!

So what about the women? Kunti, Draupadi, Gandhari are brush-stroked as strong women but strength here is not in character but the power they wielded over men via subtle and blatant scheming and emotional blackmail. Not one of them have been painted as virtuous.

Kunti, commended for her determination to make her sons kings, made every attempt to instill those qualities from their youth and keep them together (including marrying them all to one woman!) to avenge their father. Gandhari described as pativrata ofcourse, but nevertheless a little too indulgent of her arrogant sons. Draupadi, the woman prophesied to "change the world" was none too nice with her lust for revenge, arrogant pride, uncontrolled temper, indulgence for the pleasures of the world (the palace for example) and stubborn control streak.

Or so they were painted! Not one nice thing has been said of them. Even their parenting has been attacked as being devoid of love or way too much of it! Sighhh!

And we wonder, why it is so difficult to drum into the heads of today's men, the virtues of an equal society. When influential and much-loved literary works such as the Mahabharath are skewed so much in disfavor of women, what more can you expect than an instinct to over-power the force that would otherwise destroy mankind, as they feel!

Through the Palace of Illusions, I revisited one of India's much loved mythological work and it has left me sadly disappointed. It has its many merits, ofcourse, in its teachings but I do wish they had chosen to preach Equality as a righteous trait as well!

P.S: It also struck me, that in none of these old stories of ours, the women seem to attain the highest honor (as they claim)of having lived a virtuous life fit enough to allow them entry into the gates of highest heaven!

The $2000 teeth

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 15:50:00 +0000

Let's see what could I have done with that money?! Had a fab vacation in gorgeous Europe or sun kissed (in a nice, exotic way) Santorini or had umpteen luxurious Iron Chef prepared meals with lots of change left over or bought a rock of a diamond or well.. just been a scrooge and saved it!

But no, I had (note HAD) to donate it and my teeth as well. I honestly think there is a collusive attempt to make wisdom teeth more unpopular than need be and a money-spinning operation all at the same time! I'll give that they serve no useful purpose really and are more likely to cause discomfort than most other teeth. But, really, this absolute hatred and vendatta against them seems suspiciously conducive to their wallets, don't you think ?!

Everytime I went to my dentist in the last three years (and that is six times now, bi-annual check-ups you see), she would ask me as soon as I walked in the door "Have you gotten them out, yet?" and I would go "No, not yet" making GOK-why apologetic face. And then she would hem and haw and poke around my mouth, say all was well.. But..... those four teeth in the corners really need to come out, you know. And everytime, I would sigh and ask, why should they when they are in perfect health obviously and are causing me no problem whatsoever.

And pat would come the response along with the screwed up nose "It's better to have them out, you know. They are impacted and will only cause trouble later!". Sighhh.... I understand preventive and pre-emptive care and all that but seriously this is a bit much no?!

Anyway, despite all the rationalising, I reasoned what the heck! Might as well get it out, if only to not have the above conversation in six months! And so I made the appointment and got three of them out. I got 2 out last year and one last week.

What an ordeal!!! First of all, I wasn't sedated, just numbed and was forced to be very cognizant of all the drilling and unwelcome activity in my mouth. Second, my surgeon looked like a Hollywood starlet with bleached blond hair and fake sounding soothing voice that kept calling me "Hon" (Gah!). And third, they kept muttering about how my tooth wasn't where the x-ray said it'd be (:OO) and finally even congratulated me on my very cleen tooth!!!!!!!

Fortunately, I wasn't writhing in pain after the surgery but there was some and honestly Vicodin (which I was all looking forward to taking hoping for an House like effect!) did not help! Neither did the pain go away nor did I become uncannily smart. I was just foggy and hungry and denied normal food! Gah! 10 whole days on pudding and flavored yogurts!! I swear if I see another Dannon cup, I'll throw up!!

Sighh... anyway, thankfully it is all behind me. I have one more left and the good surgeon *suggests* I get it out next month. I acqueisingly nodded my head and dutifully made an appointment that I have every intention of rescheduling until I find a real reason for removal!

But one does wonder.... why are they there, at all?!? Bleeders!

P.S. : I have this niggling feeling that my dentist and surgeon are well more than just professionally colluding!! You know... no rings on either and the surgeon when I mentioned my dentist as referring me had this smile (you know the kind.. different and kinda funny) and said she was a good *friend* !! Ofcourse, dentist did utmost recommending of surgeon too.............
cartoon credits: cartoonstock, fotosearch

Awards Time!!! :)

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:31:00 +0000

Alright you guys, grab a big bucket of popcorn and some drinks (whatever catches your flavor) and huddle up to the screen. Here is the new list of awardees being recognised for making the world a smaller, fun-ner, sharing place all through their inspirational and surely dedicated virtual pennings....

Rads recently accorded me an honor with the International Bloggers Community award. Dearie me! , you exclaim? Yes, yes, me only! I know, there are people who actually read and even, dare I say it, like my random musings (note: blog title). Such a thrilling moment for me, really!

And, now, since I know how happy this made me, I am going to spread some joy to other deserving bloggers as well. Well... before I announce them, there are some rules of the game I am obliged to declare and you to follow -

Link the person who tagged you

Copy the image above, the rules and the questionnaire in this post

Post this in one or all of your blogs

Answer the four questions following these Rules

Recruit at least seven friends on your Blog Roll by sharing this with them

Come back to BLoGGiSTa iNFo CoRNeR and leave the URL of your post so your blog can be added to the Master List

Here are my answers and questions you need to pass on -

The person who tagged you : Rads
His/her site's title and url : Rads Blog-a-Zine @ http://rads-blogazine.blogspot.com/
Date when you were tagged : 8 July, 2009
Persons you tagged : And here goes....

Kokonad
Mystc Pizza
Reva
Kaddu
Nothing Spectacular
Kuppurao
Gokhale
Nandu

And now, feel free to pass on the love.... :))

Aargh! such nincompoops!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:03:00 +0000

Came across this interview with Bharatendu Prakash Singhal, a Hindutva ideologue, a retired IPS officer and a former BJP Rajya Sabha MP who btw is filing an appeal to over turn the legalizing of gay sex.

The basic gist of it is that he claims the section 377 under IPS code should not be repealed because it's exitence would "inhibit people from freely becoming homosexuals". And further expands on it -

"Another argument is that people who are gays feel that their desire, their very existence is being criminalised. Why? You don’t have to endorse it, but why do you to call it crime?
I have an urge to steal your motorcycle. Why should my desire be criminalised?

But in this case it’s consensual, it’s more like the lending of a motorcycle!
What about adultery – consenting adults? The whole question is that of morality in society, of social morals. That is the casualty.

But recently, on the eve of the pride parade in Delhi, a newspaper survey said 51% people have no problem with homosexuals.
Neither do I! I don’t have any problem with homosexuals. Do you? Homosexuality has existed since the beginning of time, doesn’t mean it’s a healthy thing. The Center of Disease Control in the US has done a study on how homosexuality breeds diseases. Besides it’s completely unnatural. "

I mean seriously!!! When will people stop being idiots and stop thinking being gay is in rebellion of society ??!!

And, there are some other issues that he thinks 377 supposedly serves; deterrent for sodomy, "protection" of children from sexual abuse. His point being that if gay sex is legalised then there is no stopping perverts from molesting and raping young boys..

But, isn't that a HUGE other problem ? Of the disfunctional justice system in our country? How does failure of law and order to prevent crime and protect its citizens justify restriction of constitutional rights and marginalization of a few for no fault of theirs??!!! And reason that it is punishable because it is against our culture????!!!

We really need "sex education" to become part of school curriculum. Oh wait! "Sex Education" is against our culture too!!!! HMMMM.... :OOO

UP and about A Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 03:34:00 +0000

We saw two movies over the weekend - UP and A Wednesday. And, they were a complete study in contrasts!!

UP

Pixar's latest animation flick was simply fantastic. And ofcourse, watching it in 3D totally made it spectacular. It's a lovely, sweet, touching story; a tear jerker and all. But what you are left with most is that the animation is simply mindblowing and amazingly realistic.

That was Friday night. And on Sunday we watched the other movie, which, everybody else seemed to have totally loved and I totally disagree with that opinion!

A Wednesday

The concept is interesting but the execution falls so flat! not to mention that it was SLOW, and filled with some really silly and ridiculous scenes. For ex, how does a police officer in the middle of an important operation, transporting known terrorists, get up, show his back to those he is supposed to be covering and answer a personal phone call which served no purpose plot wise???!!! Similar scene with the hacker kid. If that was supposed to be some sort of humorous respite, it didn't work!!! Just spat of un-professionalism! or perhaps, that is so common in India, it isn't silly after all, just sad! And so many examples like that...!

Anyway, Naseerudhin Shah's sort of monologue towards the end, is something I totally agree with. Following which, husband and I had a very intense argument about the morality of it all. I think doing bad for right is ok and husband is tortured about where to draw the line..

Nevertheless, painful movie ...

On the other hand, UP is totally recommended and if possible, catch it on 3D :)

Village Services Trust - Call to help street children

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:29:00 +0000

Village Services Trust (VST) is an NGO based in Tamil Nadu with a mission to facilitate rural development through community development projects. Their vision is to "serve the basic needs and priorities of the socially, educationally and economically backward sections of women, foster rehabilitation and overall development of the physically challenged and provide utmost care and support for child welfare".

VST's main focus areas are women's empowerment and child welfare and they currently operate in the Dindigul and Kanyakumari districts of Tamil Nadu. Many of their initiatives, targeting the areas of education, health and overall welfare, are implemented in tandem with the state government and other NGOs operating in these areas.

VST has enabled the formation of women's group in village to campaign for better representation and involvement in key decision making processes. They also have implemented a Grameen Bank model micro credit system that is supported by Self Help Groups (SHGs). These SHGs have also been successful in building community network within these societies for women and the marginalised.

VST runs health centers to provide medical, maternity consultations and counselling. In collaboration with the Aravind hospital, Madurai, VST has organized eye and dental camps. They are also active in spreading awareness about personal hygiene, HIV, STDs, immunization and family planning.

The other major focus for VST is child welfare with emphasis on rehabilitation of abandoned and abused children. VST rescues at-risk children and provides them shelter, education, vocational training and, more importantly, an opportunity to lead a normal life again. The child rehabilitation project has been operational since 1999 at their Dindigul center. It is estimated that there are 3500 children living on the streets of Dindigul.

Many of the abandoned or run-away children seek work in factories and shops to earn a living. Their predicament makes them easy victims of sexual, labor and/or drug abuse. VST seeks to help these children by counselling and strengthening family structure to minimize run-aways, scouting for and reaching out to the abandoned as early as possible and shelter them from abuse. They also rescue abused children and provide a safe shelter where they can grow in a nurturing environment.

At present, there at 83 children being cared for at the shelter. It takes almost Rs. 1.5 Lakhs or $3,000 a month to sustain this project, to provide for children's basic needs ie food, clothing, health care, education etc.

The child rehabilitation project currently has a crisis of funds. VST is seeking donations to help them continue operations and provide for these children.

Below is the link to their website which is enabled with a Paypal system for donations. Your generosity will be greatly appreciated by VST and the children. You can also choose to sponsor a child at the shelter.

Village Services Trust

Please do visit the website to read more about the work that they are doing on the ground.

You can also contact them at

The Village Service Trust

Michaelpalayam - 624215
Nilakottai Taluk
Dindigul District
Tamil Nadu

Phone +91 (451) 6531 997
Mobile +91 (0) 995 286 4440 or +91 (0) 984 212 4729
Fax +91 (451) 242 0430 or +91 (451) 244 0062

Email thevst@rediffmail.com

End of Poverty ?

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:01:00 +0000

Many of you may of heard of the book End of Povery by noted economist Jeffery Sachs where he argues that poverty can be eliminated by carefully planned development aid and diagnoses the problems as existing within these countries to be the reasons for their failure to emerge, so to speak.

That is, unfortunately, only half the story, perhaps even less. There are other reasons, more sinister, that need to be addressed but perhaps may never be because the perpetrators are those with power and money today and will always remain so without a tectonic shift in wealth across the globe.

I have written here about the book Confessions of an Economic Hit Man by John Perkins, which, clearly and without doubt outlines the involvement of the developed world directly (especially US) and through international bodies, such as the World Bank and IMF, in the continued exploitation and demoralization of developing countries in the name of bringing about economic enlightenment to the recipient countries.

Last night I went a premiere of a documentary titled the "End of Poverty" by Philippe Diaz. The film traces the birth and reasons of the widespread poverty in emerging economies today, to the era of colonization since the 15th century. European countries with limited natural resources plundered the resource rich South America, Asia and Africa off their precious metal, produce and labor to their benefit and destroyed many indigenous economies and livelihoods.

The wealth that was built in that era from such plunder financed the multiple industrial revolutions that took place in Europe and North America. After the WW2 many colonies where freed, many with military and diplomatic support from the US with the unstated understanding of loyalty to the US and its corporates in the resulting restructuring of the newly "independent" nation!

"Free" nations were born massively indebted to world financial bodies as well as some states. "Aid" was given conditional on countries "opening" up their economies and most productive lands to foreign companies and privatization taking away the livelihoods of the indigenous people marginalizing them even more and creating increasing disparity of wealth. To put in context, Sub-Saharan Africa pays $25,000 a MINUTE in interest on its debts that was "aid"! Below is a snippet from the movie addressing the issue.

So what can be done? Two ways to brings this issue to head, I think, are

a. A voluntary enlightenment of the powers that be

b. Forced enlightenment via rebellion

The former does not seem a realistic solution now. But, once much-justified retaliation breaks out, it would in hindsight become the easier answer. As I have said before, no country can dominate through subjugation for long. Those persecuted will and should retaliate and fight for their rights eventually. It is a question of time.

A case in point is Bolivia, which was also the guinea pig for S. America, where the government was forced to privatize it public infrastructure to American companies as a direct covenant of the World Bank aid as stated by the Washington Consensus ( a product of collusion between the US treasury, World Bank and the IMF). Water was the last frontier to be privatised and the last straw. Bolivians took to streets and rebelled against being sold for pennies and successfully drove Bechtel out of the country.

Perhaps, we can start finding a solution by absolving developing countries of their "aid" debt.
Further, although the World Bank and IMF may be the all-knowing, future aid should not be tied by conditional implementation and countries should be free to decide the best means of employing that aid. If anything, the recent crisis is significant empirical evidence that the ways of the developed world are not suited even for them.
Foreign firms that are awarded contracts in developing countries should be forced to invest atleast 50% of their profits back into the country they operate in so that the fruits of the land go to the people who really own it.

Many of us, who like to analyse these things already are aware of what is going on. The documentary, itself, does not really address new issues and it is a bit too clinical is placing blame. But it does do a good job of putting together the facts and bringing the audience closer to the issues. Although, it does fall a bit flat on suggestions for resolving them. Nevertheless, it is a great effort to make the non-discerning public aware of what really is going on in the world. In the end, its success will be defined by its viewership.

The film was the critic's choice at the 2008 Cannes festival and releases in mainstream theatres in the US in September. I would highly recommend the movie as a place to start if you want to know more about the issues of poverty today.

To know about the giggle loop ....

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 01:16:00 +0000

... is to become part of the giggle loop!!!! LOL ... LOL

"You're in a solemn occasion, such as, say, a graduation ceremony, a formal dinner, or a minute's silence at a funeral.

Suddenly out of nowhere this thought comes into your head: the worst thing I could possibly do during a minute's silence is laugh. And as soon as you think that you almost do laugh -- automatic reaction. But you don't, you control yourself, you're fine. Whew.

But then you think how terrible it would have been if you laughed out loud in the middle of a minutes silence. And so you nearly do again, only this time it's a bigger laugh. And then you think how awful this bigger laugh would have been. And so you nearly laugh again, only this time it's a very big laugh, it is an enormous laugh. Let this bastard out, and you get whiplash. And suddenly you are in the middle of this completely silent room and your shoulders are going like you are drilling the road. And what do you think of this situation? Oh dear Christ, you think it's funny! "

For context, this is a Jeff-ism from the supremely hilarious, uncensored BBC comedy, Coupling!! If you have never seen Coupling before, watch it now.. Disclaimer ofcourse for adult content....

What exaggeration ?!

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:23:00 +0000

Posted on FB, this Times of India news article about an exhibitionist in Calcutta. What strikes me as really ridiculous is the blatant sensationalising of the incident. OK! average schools don't have such incidents but please keep the reactions at ground level.

At Class X, a bit hard to believe that in a girls' school, especially in a girls' school, the students would "faint", be "traumatized"(??!!!) or be "still complaining of dizziness". Shocked, I can understand but thats about where the line of credibility ends!

And, they had to talk to a psychologist to say that this was "a clear case of exhibitionism by a pervert"!!??!! I mean, seriously, everyone can do such basic Freudian analysis! :OO

I am surprised, they did not call it was a conspiracy given his unchallenged entry and performance!

Nevertheless, all this is a bit alarming. An exhibitionist is not really anti-social but the next intruder could be one....

How equal is equal?

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 13:57:00 +0000

I came across this article today that hit close to home, sort of. The author talks about gender inequalities in, perhaps, one of the more progressive religions practiced in India. Here is the link to Parsi by Patriarchy.

Let me lay the background. I am a Hindu woman married to a Parsi. By this article that would place us in the advantaged side of Parsi-ParJaat marriages, in that since the husband is Parsi, the progenies can still continue the lineage. I will also clarify that I am not religiously inclined at all. So, being a Hindu to me only means that I am familiar with some of its idols and festivals. But that's about where my socializing with the religion ends.

I was brought with up faith at heart but with no compulsion to go to temples or observe any religious practices. For me places of worship whether it be temples or churches or mosques are sanctuaries of serenity and peace. My husband is not religiously particular (obviously!) but does observe Parsi practices very closely since he was brought up that way.

Although it played no significant role in our relationship (except perhaps in its contribution to his personality), I have always admired the 'equality' of gender and community strength of the Parsis. It is reflected in the way they are brought up; respectful of others, caring for one's own, warmth and understanding for everyone. But the point here is that these are not outcomes of the religion but I think rather the exclusivity of their society. When you are a tiny community, you tend to take care of each other and encourage growth of one and all whether it be male or female.

At our wedding, my family was pleasantly surprised and supremely thrilled at the equal treatment they received and ofcourse its reflection on my acceptance into the family. In traditional Hindu weddings, the bride's side is typically subservient to the groom's (perhaps, this differs a bit by caste and region but is largely in the same vein). The bride's family breaks it's back and bank making the arrangements for the entire ceremony all by themselves. Parsi marriages are on an equal footing with both sides sharing in the effort and fun! More than two years after the event, my mother still does not tire of reminding me about how lucky I am! LOL. Helloooo! I found him, after all!!!! :))

Anyway, now for the exclusion part.

Yes, Parsis are an exclusive class. History and their welcome into the country when they first landed here, after fleeing the muslim autocracy in Persia, does explain some of it. Their refuge in the country was conditional on their not attempting to convert Indians and hence the restriction on conversion into Zoroastrianism.

Yes, I cannot visit a fire temple because I am not a Parsi. But, it doesn't affect me much anyway, as my only interest would have been curiosity at how the place looks from inside :).

Yes, we as a family would not be eligible for some of the perks of Parsi community. But I don't really see a fault there. In a country that follows Patriarchy as its first religion, this community is only preserving the resources of its small population. If everyone was given the same privileges as those belonging to the community, the pool of resources would be depleted and those in need would be bereft of support.

Here is the thing. Perhaps the rules of lineage are silly, outmoded and gender skewed and could definitely be better. But tell me, which community in India has it better? Actually, which society isn't largely skewed? Religion is but defined by those practising it in society. Even in matriarchal societies, inequality exists! If you are a poor, uneducated woman, you are discriminated more than a poor, uneducated man... anywhere in the world. In most of the country, gender discrimination is practiced even for the most basic rights of living!

Does that mean we should condone it? No, not at all. But, we should definitely delineate the issues of religion and society and address them accordingly. Equality is a societal issue. Customs and practices are of religious following.

Did Parsis always enjoy the same liberal freedom that they do now? Or, have they adapted over the centuries to become more competitive and successful in the land of many mouths and few resources, where only progressive thinking can set you apart? Rationally, it would be the latter and that should be a lesson for the rest of the country.

Progressive laws can help lead societies to a better appreciation of equality. I think it is important to establish, at a national level, an intolerance of any form of gender discrimination or any other for that matter. Will it solve all the problems? Definitely not, because laws still have to be implemented by people and there can be many a slip between paper and practice. But, it will help nevertheless.

On the one hand, perhaps only time can bring about these much needed changes in society. On the other, education and progressive governance can surely help and should be actively pursued to speed up the evolution process!

On a global level, gender equality is one of UN's stated Millenium Development Goals (MDGs). UNDP released a report on Gender Equality Strategy for 2008-2011 to acheive the MDGs.

UNICEF oulined a road map to gender equality in 2007 -

Education : Key actions include abolishing school fees and encouraging parents and communities to invest in girls’ education.
Financing : Little recognition has been given to the resources needed to meet the goal of gender equality and women’s empowerment. Investment to eliminate gender discrimination must be integrated into government budgets and plans.
Legislation : National legislation in property law and inheritance rights should ensure a level playing field for women, alongside measures to prevent and respond to domestic violence and gender-based violence in conflict.
Legislative quotas : Quotas are a proven method of ensuring women’s participation in politics. Of the 20 countries with the most women in parliament, 17 use some form of quota system.
Women empowering women : Grassroots women’s movements have been vocal champions for equality and empowerment and should be involved in the early stages of policy formation so that programmes are designed with the needs of women and children in mind.
Engaging men and boys : Educating men and boys, as well as women and girls, on the benefits of gender equality and joint decision-making can help nurture more cooperative relationships.
Improved research and data : Better data and analysis are critical, especially on maternal mortality, violence against women, education, employment, wages, unpaid work and time use, and participation in politics.

Let's hope that with all the attention and world focus on the subject there is some actual action taken in our country to address the issue and leverage that to leap ahead in the development of our society and economy!

To give or not to give ?

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 00:49:00 +0000

This is an original artifact from Uganda which I was gifted; local art and all made from paper mache and wire. Rather interesting eh?!

And, then I heard the rest of the story. Apparently, these are made by children under not wholly pleasant conditions and paid little more than pittance ; kinda like the kids who work in fireworks factories back home. Then started the discussion....

So should you show your disgust at such blatant child abuse by boycotting such products entirely because buying would keep the demand up, the children slaving etc. ? Or should you buy them anyway because atleast the kids get that little something?

That dilemma can be extrapolated to the macro level of all aid. Whether it be helping the beggar on the road even if you know there is a high chance that your "help" is going to fund an alcohol or drug abuse, or the beggar-children even when you know that all their begging earnings goes to the pimp managing them and they get but a fraction of the fruits of their pitiful existence or even at the level of providing aid to communities even when you know that a lot of it is going to be pilfered by a corrupted and bureaucratic system...

When it comes to money, it is so easy to want to micro-manage and every lost penny can annoy you even more. But, somehow I feel that defeats the whole purpose of giving. Shouldn't giving by nature be without conditions?

Should you try to help only when you are sure that the target is going to get full benefit of every penny or just do what you can, and hope for the best?!

Gah!

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 16:57:00 +0000

Sitting in the office conference room waiting for the boss to arrive for our catch up meeting. He is 3 HOURS late and still counting!!!! Makes me wonder about the importance of time and timeliness based on where you are in the value chain...

I am back!

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Thu, 28 May 2009 21:25:00 +0000

Yes, yes I know, none of you probably even knew I was gone. But, for the lone reader out there (surely there is one?!) the last few days with no updates from me must have been excruciatingly painful I know. So let me fill you in and tell you what I have been upto..

Well... I was in BRAZIL!! I knew I would catch your attention. Yes, a super hectic 3-day weekend in the land of sun, sea and very developing world experiences. So anyway, the gist of it is that, it was interesting but nothing great! Really, it was like going home to India. We went with very high expectations, what with having heard so much about infamous Rio, Brazil in general and the cost of the trip. But, well, the higher you go, the harder you fall I suppose.

I will say this for the Brazilians though; they can pack in quite some meat and yet not show it! Oh and, the fresh fruit juice stands there totally rock! Nothing beats a cold sip of fresh custard apple juice after many hours of walking in the sun.

Now, its back to work and catching up on what all you guys have been upto! :)

I am my husband now... Oh No!

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Tue, 19 May 2009 01:53:00 +0000

Love changes nothing... Marriage changes everything....

Don't believe me?! Ask any of your blissfully wedded friends. They'll tell you many grisly tales of the untimely deaths of many of their favorite entertainments of pre-marriage years; shopping, waking up post noon on weekends, slothing on the couch with a nice book or the TV remote (any which way you want to lean), watching test cricket matches all day long. The last one is proof that I ain't being sexist! Both parties get the same rough hide sometimes...

I used to looove shopping.. I didn't even have to spend any money. I just liked being in a store...any store...I just thoroughly enjoyed browsing new stuff, trying them on and just revelling in the high of all that self-pampering. And, I loved shopping for others too. Any thing that let me spend time with all those good stuff on the racks and hangars; the dresses, tops, skirts, the shoes.. oh! the shoooooeees!!!!! I loved footwear! I never could or did have enough of them. There is always yet another pair that would so nicely complement my feet and/or my wardrobe; another color, style, strappy, closed, open toed.. Oh! Oh! I could go on..

During those carefree years of singledom and courtship, I happily indulged in my frivolous hobby. I was even encouraged with a beatific smile from my to-be-fiance. Oh! Courtship is such a wonderful time of life. (A little tip here ladies.. Make the most of your courting period... Prolong it!)

That was then....

I got married to the sweet guy who patiently hunted for good stuff for me from under piles of women's clothing while I stayed put in the fitting room and kept trying on what he handed over. All the while pondering my luck of finding such an understanding and helpful, in short PERFECT boy friend!! "Is it for real?" I kept asking as I pinched myself ... Little did I know what the future had in store for me. I blithely lived in the present...

Ofcourse tying the knot is bound to change some things. Still, I was unprepared for what happened next. I changed!!!! I became disenchanted with shopping malls and spending hours walking in and out of stores looking for the best value and bargain.... Me.. ME!!!!

I know it's blasphemy... I have failed the scores of feminists out there who are looking at me aghast at my betrayal.. But that is the truth! I have been beaten.. He successfully managed to pass on the virus.. Sighh..

Hard as it is for me to accept, this newly acquired distaste was driven home last weekend when I went shopping for shoes at the mall. By the end of 3 hours, 8 shoe shops and countless try-ons, I was sick of it all. I just wanted to pick up the next pair that fit and run away before I bonked some one on the head with a very pointy 5 inch stiletto!

This is now.....

ME, the one-time happy-go-lucky shopper who would now rather sit at home sharing happy slothing hours with the husband (you feminists may want to stake him on a pole.. but hands off you bats, hez my husband!) on the couch, with remote in one hand and bowl of snacks in another.....

Cartoon credits: Cartoonstock.com

Friends, sharing, entertainment - much appreciated

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Thu, 14 May 2009 02:15:00 +0000

My favorite time of the day to meet friends is over coffee/tea. There is just this wonderfully slow casualness about it and something about the swirling mist from the hot beverage and our lingering over it that makes the conversation easy-flowing and enjoyable.

When I started blogging, I imagined it as a medium for discussion with people with whom I enjoy chatting and debating with but for reasons physical distance could not do it more often. More like a e-version of a phone conversation.

What I didn't expect was to make virtual coffee pals. A pleasant surprise indeed and much welcome. Although, I have not met many of them, I am getting to know more of them through their words; a true glimpse into their minds! It's the first thing I do in the morning over my cup of tea; check mails and latest posts.

So, I thought it would be appropriate to thank you all for many a moment of humor, entertainment, comedy, thoughtfulness and insight that you have all shared with me through your blogs.

My favorite bloggies are on my blog roll and I would like to call out a special thanks to them for inviting me to coffee.

Herez to all of us! Cheers! Keep the thoughts coming guys :) ...

Happy times..

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Tue, 12 May 2009 03:38:00 +0000

Ah! How time flies when you are having fun! It seems like only yesterday was Friday ! and here, today is already getting to Tuesday!!!

My very, very good friend from Engineering days and his wife were here for the weekend and a day to take in the sights and food (very importantly!) of NYC...

It is so comforting to be around old friends, isn't it?! You can be your own, goofy self and not feel stupid about it at all..haha..

Anyway, I staunchly refused to do the Liberty and Empire stuff with them but gladly took them around the rest of the non-traditional inside tour of the city - from a fallen wall street giant, to elegant stained glass windows of St. Patrick's Cathedral, to fashionable Village, across a quaint bridge into Brooklyn, through leafy Central Park, the Bull view (well.. more then Bear it should be) and Ground 0 - where it all began (in a way surely!). We even managed to catch a gorgeous sunset by the water front which was incredibly relaxing.. I don't know why but it was.. perfectly being off the feet helped :D

All the while, sampling some of the finest that NYC has to offer on a plate (paper or china) - from Mamoun's incredibly delicious Hot & Hot falafal, to the original NY style pizza at Grimaldi's (yep, 30 minute wait included but totally worth it! aaahh! and yep, that's the luscious looking photo you saw at the start, is it! :D), to Papaya King's infamous Jumbo dog and OJ, to my own paneer makhanwala and along the way a few financiers, poppy strudels and Junior's notoriously rich cheese cake delight!!

Oh! We even caught a wedding by the shore.. No, I am not kidding! It really happened in Brooklyn as we were resting our feet by the East River and waiting for the sun to set (so we could could head back to TS and catch it all its bejewelled night glory..). Rather intrigued we were by possibly the most enterprising wedding in the US - no hall to book, no seating arrangements, no floral arrangements to color coordinate, no bridesmaids' dresses to match! totally hakuna-matata! very cost-efficient, indeed...

It was fabulous!! We walked a total of 21 hours (!!!) over the last three days and I have never felt more refreshed and happy! They are back in their own town now and it's back to the grind here I suppose..

Ah well! Atleast it was a weekend to remember! :)

15 minute plays

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Fri, 08 May 2009 16:05:00 +0000

Yes.. you can have a whole drama/comedy/parody sequence in just 15 minutes! who ever knew!

Last night we went to a series of 15-minutes play performances. Actually, it is an annual contest and one of our friends' wife was directing on the the plays selected for the semi-finals. (Word is just out that her play has been chosen to feature in the finals! yay!!! :)) )

The husband and I have always been interested in the theatre circuit. We were in Bangalore when Ranga Shankara opened its doors and creative talent to the public. We loved many of the performances that were showcased there. One that I distinctly remember was a story told entirely through music created from earthern pots. It was simply fantastic. If I remember right, Ananth Nag's wife created the society to patronise those performing the arts. It started small but I think now has become quite the mainstream phenomenon.

And, last year when we were whiling away Christmas in a B&B upstate, we were treated to a reheasal of a 10 minute play that left a lasting impressiong on us about short plays in general and our B&B host in particular. You see, he was the playwright! And, it was a good play..

Actually, my sojourn with the world of theatre was initiated way back in high school in not exactly an artistic way. But well, humble beginnings lead to great loves! It was an interschool drama competition. I didn't act ofcourse; I don't have even 1 ounce of acting talent. Oh! I can make faces and all that but that's about it! Anyway, a bunch of us were helping to make the background set for the play. And we loved every minute of the effort! Ahem, I am sure that it being the perfect excuse to cut classes had a role in our liking..hehe..

Ok! so much for nostalgia. Back to the today and now. If any of you is going to be in NYC this weekend and/or the next and interested in getting some exposure to the non-touristy culture side of the city, check our the 15 minute play festival. It runs until 11th and then the finals are on 15th and 16th. Tickets are only $15!

Many thanks for your support of the arts!

Interesting correlation?

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Wed, 06 May 2009 19:18:00 +0000

Our washbasin has been clogged for the last week... NYC has been drippy wet for the last week with no sign of the sun at all...

I poured half a can of the liquid plumr today down the drain and it now works smooth as oil.... The sky has magically cleared up and is even blue..(Weather forecast was more cloud and rain) AND, the sun is shining (albeit feebly)!!!

Is it possible... ? Am I really....?? Noooo...You think so... ??!! Wow! I never knew! Well, now I do! and, so do you ;-))

Good Morning Monday! :)

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Mon, 04 May 2009 14:54:00 +0000

Isn't it lovely and nice to wake up to a new work week?! What a relief it is to not have to take advantage of the bright sunshine and not be pressured to do something outdoors-y! Such a joy to have your work cut out for the day and some ass-kissing for entertainment. And, the sweet joy of returning home at the end of a long,"fruitfully" weary day and setting about to make dinner? Ah! nothing to beat that pleasure, surely! How one can complain about all this good fortune and easy life come Monday, I can't imagine...

No? You are not buying? OK! I was kidding anyway. No, I did not go off my rockers. I just thought if I tried and made it sound fun, by sheer force of will, I could spin it into something positive. But, well, even that has its limitations I suppose. Sigh. Besides, it isn't anywhere close to barmy sunshine here. Actually, it has been overcast, and drippy-rainy all weekend and continues to be so. Forecast is rather bleak for the rest of the week!! Gah! (I told you it's better to be optimistic than realistic. See what you get with the latter?!)

Anyhoo, if you guys are looking for ways to not succumb to the Monday blues, here are a few things you can do to distract yourself -

Walk over to your friend's desk on another floor or just away from your boss's prying and accusatory eye and pass that time of the day when it's the worst

Take a short stroll outside and breathe in the fresh air (if any) whenever you can. You can easily explain a 10-minute longer lunch or coffee break; lines were long, traffic, etc.

Have a heavy lunch and indulge yourself with a post lunch mid-afternoon stupor. To be on the safe side, offer to buy your boss the same lunch. Btw, inside trick; if you are really sleepy and cannot afford to be caught with eyes closed at your desk, sneak over to the restroom and take a short nap. Nobody can question you! :D

Play the boggart game on the people around you. For non-Harry-Potter followers, let me explain. Picture those around you, and especially those who you wish you could bosh, in the most ridiculous situation you can think of, and then..secretly smile at the image! Secretly, I say, coz you don't want to be caught LOL-ing and then having to explain :O

Start planning your next weekend or some vacation in the future. Even if you aren't planning on having any plans, make believe!

Read articles about your fantasy car and dream of driving one with your dream lady...

Surf the net and catch up on the latest posts on all blogs you follow like mine and if you don't already, start now! :D

Well, there is yet a light at the end of the tunnel for me. I am going to be thinking of the coming weekend. One of my childhood friends from engineering college (ya, that was my childhood. Dare you say anything!!) and his wife (sigh, everyone is grown up now! me included..oh, for those carefree days..anyway..) are coming over to NYC to spend the weekend and a Monday (!!) with us! Yay!

I foresee a weather unbidden time of fun and frolic and some much needed vaca-like time for all of us. Isn't it just mood-brightening to have a friend over for short or long periods?! I love it. I get the greatest joy from hosting friends at home. Combines my love for cooking and socialising..ha!

Anyway, all you people, working or otherwise, have a great week ahead! Am sure somewhere around the world, today is a great day outside. But, fret not! Just think of the rest of us with this muggy weather forced on us and take pleasure in the simple existence of the sun, even if it is beyond your reach, and be happy! :))

Cheers!

P.S : If there is anyone out there who really does love Mondays, please come forward. It would be enlightening and heartening to hear from you!

Tell me... Just what is the good of globalization???

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Fri, 01 May 2009 15:14:00 +0000

I am reading the book "Confessions of an Economic Hit Man" and it talks about basically economic colonisation of the developing nations by developed countries. Granted the author (a former EHM supposedly) paints an extreme picture; but there are elements of disturbing truth, which, made me think...

Take for example, the opening up of markets in previously indigenous territories in the name of bringing modern science and today's reality to them. Tell me, for a tribe living peacefully amidst nature and its creations with little worry and plenty resources what use is a microwave? What right is it of ours to tell them that they are "backward" just because they live in a more rustic world than us? Perhaps, we don't have the right but we sure think it is our prerogative to claim those resources that they blissfully enjoy! We take away all that is good and give them only suffering in return. Thanksgiving is a farce! What did the Indians really get?

In the name of "altruism", and in the process sullying the word, we try to spread so-called modernity and moving-ahead to anyone and everyone who isn't in line with us and importantly who has something we want. For example, unless that particular forest was of any use to us, for say, building roads through or more farm land or a new semi-urban development, we rarely ever approach those living in it and preach them on how out-of-touch they are with the rest of the world!

All this made me think, so what good has come of developing countries opening their doors to international trade. Umm... - economic crises of massive proportions being the effect of flighty developed world investors who are in for the quick buck and pick up their trails and run at the first hint of trouble (which btw they created in the first place!); more countries defaulting; break-down of social structure and values..

As I look back at my days in school, we were so blissfully unaware, ok not really but definitely stayed away, from vices.. or atleast 99% of us did (there is always that 1%). I don't think our parents really worried much about us going wayward or falling into the wrong crowd. We had limited negative exposure from TV or other inane pursuits. There were families with both parents working even then without the negative fallout that seems the norm these days. Children were not so materialistic clamoring after every new toy or gadget and tantrums were easily controlled by a stern look or a well-placed whack and not by surrender! Perhaps, I can even venture to say that familial and societal ties were a lot stronger then...

So what did we gain since 1991 when India historically converted from socialism and self-sufficiency?? Ya ok! we recovered from the brink of collapse. But, what else? Don't tell me that all the exposure made us a better society. It would be insulting to say all the progress made in society is the outcome of globalization.

We could have bettered our literacy rates just the same or realised that women deserve better or that we should give back to the community even without the need to make ourselves vulnerable to outside forces. All that is natural evolutionary outcome of education and more importantly decency!

So, some companies like Infosys came into existence and prospered by taking advantage our industriousness and laziness of the developed population. Am sure there are many such examples in other developing nations. But, what about the starving, under-privileged population which make up the majority in these "third-world" nations?

It benefits a handful few and the rest are left just where they were or worse. It has increased our greed and callousness while those whom such "progress" is supposed to eventually help are just marginalised more from mainstream society because moving ahead brings with it the evils of inflation, yawning divide between rich and poor, envy and crime!

Oh! and Terrorism!!! There is only so much war you can wage with bow and arrows. The colonizing (then monarchy now economical) nations are to blame for the rampant and indiscriminate spread of weapons! For whose benefit?! Theirs ofcourse!!

No empire can last by subjugation. Eventually, there is always an uprising and the colonial power gets overthrown, like in EVERY revolution in man's history. I think it's time that we from the "developing", "backward" world stood up to the developed "powers". I say, we kick out all the "help", monetary or otherwise and tell them to go Up Theirs!

Just back from the park...

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:16:00 +0000

(Swine flu mania drove me to the park rather than the gym.. more space per person and all that.. less chance of being coughed on.. Ahem..Optimistic, yes I know...)

The Park was green... the cherry blossoms were in full bloom (finally!)... and there was a nip in the air very reminiscent of Spring (dare I hope???)...

Very nice.. perfect! .. very happy.. :)

But, I'll never, never again attempt to keep pace with a bunch of high school boys!! Very embarrassing...Gah! :O

OK, now I am off to get ready for someone's celebratory evening... until later.. tata

Hmmm.. I think I'll, maybe, bloom after all...

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 02:32:00 +0000

After a much delayed start and a rather truncated appearance, I guess it is safe to say that Spring this year was a wash.. sighh... 45 degrees one day and 85 the next and nothing in between! Can you believe it?! Rather interesting.. Is it consequence of the "global warming"? may be.. I don't know but I think I rather liked winter now.. I know, I know.. but the grass is always greener.... what to do?!

Anyway, I finally saw some cherry blossoms blooming on the streets near my house. I have been waiting for them to come out since the first week of April! I was just waiting to go to the park and snap away the glorious blossoms. So, when my friend came over to spend the weekend with us, we did exactly that. Only, it turned out to be a let down.. just like Spring!

I guess I wasn't the only one confused about the weather. First it was too cold for the flowers to bloom and then it turned too warm for the flowers to precede the leaves. So, the trees were a confused mess of flower buds, full-bloom flowers, tiny green leaves and full-green leaves.. Get the picture?!

Yeah, it wasn't ideal...but it was still better than no flowers :).. Besides, all is not bad with the early oncoming of the warm weather... It means, I can start this year's hiking season early! Yay!

And, it's nice to see all the people frolicking in the park with smiles on their faces and happiness in their hearts (hopefully) :)

What an A******!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (TW) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 01:24:00 +0000

This is part II of the previous post about finding the suitable car; same jerk but not the least bit funny this time!! In fact, I am very, very, very, pissed and I'll tell you the story. Then you'll see for yourself...

Unfortunately for us, that jackass CEO, I told you about, had the best car on offer at the most affordable price. So we decided to put up with his antics (Why? Why do we put up? I think Indians in general are way too accomodative to their detriment!).

So, throughout the long and arduous process that dragged on for over a month we remained cooperative even as he continued being unreasonable. He had first listed his car for sale mid March and we had been in touch since.

Eventually, through sheer perseverance (and abundant tolerance) we managed to get a look at the precious and elusive car last weekend. Follow me closely here coz I am about to lay out the essential details that give ground to my summary of his character as not being knee-jerk and totally warranted.

He hadn't moved the car from the garage for one and a half years!! Actually, not even turned ON the engine coz the battery was completely drained out when we got there. He had to jumpstart the car to show that it would even work eventually. Then, we pointed out a couple of dents and scratches on his car that he was completely unaware of! Needless to say, we could not test its handling or anything else for that matter. Nevertheless, we were nice and told him we liked the car and stuff and he promised to get the car serviced and fixed this week, so we could atleast test it then.

Surprisingly, he did get it to the service centre on Monday, surely prompted by the fact that his warrantly was running out month-end, which btw was pointed out by Us! He thought he had another year. Anyhoo, the husband manged to get a test drive yesterday and found nothing to complain. So, we let the guy know last evening that we would like to close the deal. After a short email exchange settling the price, we decided to touch base again today on the mundane details of transfer.

So far, his responses, a definite departure from the abysmal we had been used to, was a welcome relief. But that was short lived!

Not having heard from him the whole day, I sent a polite reminder email asking him to confirm the deal so we could let the other dealers, we had been tagging along just in case, know that we are taken and sold. I'll say this for them; they may not be as educated or up-scale like this one, but they are many degrees classier!

Back came a whammy! I quote him "Bad news. I have gotten cold feet. Let me think Saturday and drive it and decide. It is not a question of price, just a bit emotional" !!!!!@#$%&!!!!

WHHHAAATT??!! I cannot believe his audacity! Emotional??? Where was the emotion for the last year and a half when it wasn't moved an inch?? And, when the car was being dented unbeknownst to him, in his own garage, where were his feelings?? Or tell me this, what was he doing for the whole month that he was jerking us around???!! Not only does he renege on the deal, he doesn't even have the decency to inform us of his nefarious plan until we ask him! I mean, he had atleast a whole day to make this look less shady!

I am soooo angry that I could hardly taste my nice dinner! I am totally at a loss to understand how someone could be so loathsome not to mention callous, egotistical and a prick!! He embodies the haughty, over-the-top banker type that the general public should, and rightfully does, despise. It is his 20% lot which casts a shadow of disgrace over the other decent and normal 80%!!!

What an a$$&%$# !!!!!