This Type of Shit Happens All The Time

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Tue, 05 May 2009 19:54:00 +0000

You might be wondering why I was reading the Gay City News? Well this is why; A horrible and depressing torture technique that I had not yet heard of:

An Arabic television network last week revealed the use of a horrifying new form of lethal torture against Iraqi gay men - anti-gay Shiite death squads are sealing their anuses with a powerful glue, then inducing diarrhea, which leads to a painful and agonizing death.

Also from the article, a great example of Web 2.0

Videos of this form of torture are being distributed on mobile telephones in Iraq.

The clever use of glue in this case somehow reminds me of one of the greatest ever products: The Rose in Glass Pipe.

It's sole purpose is to be used as a crack pipe.

I'm sure you've seen it in gas stations. I'm always amazed to see the display cases:

I can never understand how these owners have the guts to blatantly place them next to the cash register, nor why there isn't more public outcry. I also can't believe there is such a huge market for them in these out of the way places.

Coathanger in a Pill

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:27:00 +0000

Whenever I get my hands on these pills I crush em and snort em.

This Is So Embarrassing...

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 22:34:00 +0000

...For America. A bunch of freak-job losers are battling it out on an MSNBC.com poll. I wish they were using knives.

I gave him an A!

I Love This Guy!

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 15:39:00 +0000

From the Globe:

Until then, they chased more than 170 tips, some of them so strange they were put into a category Merner dubbed "completely crazy." One of them came from a 71-year-old Florida man who identified himself as a registered sex offender and told detectives, "I'm not sure it wasn't me who did it."

Also, watch out for those crazy bitches:

Others came from women convinced that their former boyfriend or former husband was the killer.

How is this not a joke?

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 15:10:00 +0000

Megan McAllister, fiancee of alleged craigslist-killer Philip Markoff, is apparently really fucking delusional. You know how you wonder what type of woman would marry a serial killer, and how could they not know? Well Megan is a great example.

"Unfortunately, you were given wrong information as was the public," McAllister wrote to ABC News in an e-mail. "All I have to say to you is Philip is a beautiful person inside and out and could not hurt a fly! A police officer in Boston (or many) is trying to make big bucks by selling this false story to the TV stations. What else is new?? Philip is an intelligent man who is just trying to live his life so if you could leave us alone we would greatly appreciate it. We expect to marry in August and share and wonderful, meaningful life together."

Psychopaths are fairly easy to spot once you spend enough time around them. After living with someone for a number of years, you or I--assuming you are not a psychopath--would eventually pick up on the underlying signs of psychopathy:

Grandiose sense of self-worth
Superficial charm
Criminal versatility
Reckless disregard for the safety of self or others
Impulse control problems
Irresponsibility
Inability to tolerate boredom
Pathological narcissism
Pathological lying
Shallow affect
Deceitfulness/manipulativeness
Aggressive or violent tendencies, repeated physical fights or assaults on others
Lack of empathy
Lack of remorse, indifferent to or rationalizes having hurt or mistreated others
A sense of extreme entitlement
Lack of or diminished levels of anxiety/nervousness and other emotions
Promiscuous sexual behavior, sexually deviant lifestyle
Poor judgment, failure to learn from experience
Lack of personal insight
Failure to follow any life plan
Abuse of drugs including alcohol
Inability to distinguish right from wrong

Is it reasonable to believe that any non-mongoloid would eventually see a pattern if the person they loved exhibited a majority of the above traits? Megan, it appears, missed all the signs. Honest, normal, and innocent people don't find themselves married to serial killers; morons do. All the fucked up shit that psychopathic serialkillers do, it makes sense on some basic level--that these are just fucked up people missing some essential aspect of humanity, or whatever--It's their spouses and girlfriends, and the underlying psychological issues that would lead to them marrying a psychopath, that I find really disturbing. At least none of this matters to Megan, who still plans on her and Philip "shar[ing] a wonderful, meaningful life together."

-I'm sure this will be an entertaining case to follow. This woman seems like the type to make the talkshow rounds.

I Hate Nerds: Caution Graphic Picture of Dead People

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:46:00 +0000

This is what happens when you take the loser way out... That is, when you commit suicide rather than end it with a shootout against the SWAT team. Despite looking really cool---

--- as they pranced around in their boots, backwards caps, and excessive holsters---- Erik and Dylan deprived the world of a super intense (but awesome) televised ending to their lives. They committed suicide in the library... Bee..Efffff...Deeeee! You spend a year planning something horrific, and you end it with suicide? For those planning a similar type rampage, I implore you, TAKE HOSTAGES! Nothing improves a situation like the taking of hostages. Instead of killing yourselves in the library you could have died in a shootout with the German Police on a tarmac. Which is better: a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head, or the following non-lame PLO terrorist death:

"Issa turned on the hostages in the eastern helicopter and fired at them from point-blank range.... the terrorist then pulled the pin on a hand grenade and tossed it into the cockpit, causing an explosion which destroyed the helicopter and incinerated the bound Israelis inside. Issa then dashed across the tarmac and began firing at the police, who killed the fedayeen leader with return fire."

You could have blockaded yourselves up for 5 weeks in the gymnasium, with 50 middleschoolers, making ridiculous demands. For Christ's sake, don't kill yourself until you've finished the job. Call in to the local news and demand to speak with the hosts. If you really want to be badass, you could arrange to speak with a hostage negotiator, and then kill them when they came to speak with you.

My 3 minutes per post were up long ago, so I need to stop before this gets out of hand.

Blog Wins Award

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 18:07:00 +0000

Check out the highest rated aspect of this blog, according to the grader.com algorithm.

E. Readability Level: Primary / Elementary School

This score measures the approximate level of education necessary to read and understand the web page content. In most cases, the content should be made to be simple so that a majority of the target audience can understand it.

This grade is a direct result of making a point of never working for more than 3 minutes on a post. It is also the direct result of having obtained my education at Vermont Academy.

The only scams I fall for are those pesky child-porn phishing ones.

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 17:14:00 +0000

A few more examples of some Broken Dicked Mother Fuckers who are preying on us poor and unemployed people.

Check out Thompson-Broulette . This "rapidly growing company" is giving a small but talented group of people the opportunity to "Become the leader you want to be." They are doing all this with a free website builder and cheesy stock pictures of a bunch of people standing in front of a giant globe.

Also check out this criagslist job add. In this case a "Downtown business seeks qualified Executive Assistant/Office Manager."

And this one, which is a "small real estate office located downtown." Please let the contact posted, SharenSmithllc@gmail.com, that she is a crazy cunt and we aren't falling for her scam.

Disclaimer: I have no evidence that these are actually scams, other than the obviousness of it all.

People are Stupid

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 21:37:00 +0000

The truly horrifying part of this story is the stupidity of these people. I can think of a million better ways to dispose of 2 year old. Like a nice stew.

DETROIT -- A Detroit couple accused of trying to cremate their slain 2-year-old son on a barbecue grill and then collecting his welfare benefits have been sentenced to prison.

jh

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 04:30:00 +0000

hjk

Rights of Spring

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:42:00 +0000

What are those beautiful little buds I see peeking their heads through the shirt on Malia's chest? Bloom flowers bloom!!

Courtesy of HP

God Bless the USA

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 23:08:00 +0000

I love the Somalian Pirates and approve their high seas marauding. I do wish they would do more raping though. I too have yearned for adventure on the high seas. I always root for the pirates. However, how fucking sweet is it that three US SEAL Team Six snipers took out the pirates?

After the mission, Obama telephoned several military officials, including "Vice Admiral William McRaven." Interesting choice; it means that at least some of the Navy SEALS who participated in the rescue were part a classified special missions unit, the Naval Special Warfare Development Group, popularly known as "SEAL Team Six."

Imagine: SEAL TEAM SIX PIRATES!@!!!@!!!!!

More on ST6

I used to do this type of thing all the time. I assumed it was legal.

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 04:39:00 +0000

Mature-Rape is not my favorite kind of porn, but I'll watch it.

PASCO COUNTY, FL -- Sheriff's detectives have arrested a 15-year-old boy and a 14-year-old boy and charged them with attempted murder, sexual battery, grand theft auto and burglary of a residence.

Detectives say the suspects invaded an 89-year-old woman's home in the Palm Terrace Gardens subdivision in Port Richey early Wednesday morning.

They say the two sexually assaulted her and then tried to smother her with a pillow before ransacking the home.

Soooooo Adorable

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 14:56:00 +0000

OMG!!!@@!!!!@ Thait is the cuteset thing I have evert seen. FUN SIZE COFFINS!!
Awww, an he'z kissin it. I bet da cwushed baybe inside was so pwitty.

So Thats Where I Left My Briefcase

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 15:20:00 +0000

Iv'e been looking for it for like over a week:

An autopsy is scheduled for Tuesday on 8-year-old Sandra Cantu, whose body was found in a suitcase in a dairy-farm pond near her California home.

Why I Love My Mommy

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:23:00 +0000

Why, you might ask. Well, despite the obvious reasons, she is super hot.

I mean, even though shes really old, she is still a major MILF. Man, my dad is lucky.

(Note: Those are bad pants, her butt is actually really nice)

Another reason I really love my mommy is that one time, a few years ago, I was mugged in Boston. A dozen high schoolers robbed me in Cambridge, MA.

(Dude, there were like twice as many, but like 3 or 4 years younger)

They could have taken my backpack, my ipod, my wallet, my 8th of ganj I had in my pocket, and my dignity. Luckily they only took 2 of those things. My dignity and my ipod. Well, being the wonderful mother that she is, she got me a new ipod.

Just a little factoid on why I love my mommy.

God I Hate This World

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:27:00 +0000

Just a quick follow up on my previous post. If people weren't so god damn fucking stupid we wouldn't have to deal with online spam or scammers. Direct Mail for that matter. I'll admit, I'm a sucker for cool packaging, but you have to be missing a chromosome to fall for an online scam. These types of people spend their days grinding their teeth and drooling. They also, apparently, make up 75% of the population.

They Obv Recognize my Skillz

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:09:00 +0000

A positive response to one of my job applications. Luckily I have all my bank info handy for their detailed credit check and payment program.

Dear Applicant,

Many thanks for the time you have taken over your application. We have taken more than a week to check all resumes and I am here to congratulate you since we have shortlisted you with 3 other candidates as most suitable for the job vacancy and we are impressed with your resume and have spent our resources in making sure that you are as qualified as you can be.Weare very keen to get you in for an interview and to meet the team.

Due to many recent fraudulent applications and due to the financially sensitive nature of some of the information you will be part of we have taken the liberty and spent our own resources to ensure that we can get all candidates to complete a full credit check before we can arrange the final interview.

We have arranged a special free service for our applicants with the following company:

Free Credit Check Here

Once you have your credit check in place please send me the email confirmation and let me know so that we can get the interview arranged as quickly as possible.

If you have any questions then please let me know.

Regards

Amy Johansson
HR Manager
1-866-921-8231

"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free"

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 17:46:00 +0000

Hark, tis' America

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

—Emma Lazarus, 1883

Sweet new job i'm applying for

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:37:00 +0000

Bomb Appraisal Officer

Octomomy

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:05:00 +0000

My dream was to prego-fuck the Octomom. It would be like having sex with 9 people at once.

OMG

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 18:52:00 +0000

Blind Gov Paterson Confirms: 12 or 13 DEAD :(

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:48:00 +0000

- 12 DEAD says the governor.
- Used HIGH POWERED rifle
- Blood and Guts were most likely spewed everywhere
- Families will almost certainly mourn the deaths of loved ones
- Please donate to one of the college funds that will surely be established to send the victim's children to college.
- When the stories are written about how these were just poor immigrants trying to make a better life for themselves in America, make sure you read them.
- This guy looks really sweet:

SOURCES SPECULATE: "COULD BE AS MANY AS 12 DEAD???" More DEATH and HORROR in New York???

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:41:00 +0000

The Body Count: How high will it go? Stay tuned as we bag em and tag em.

See previous post for past news on this subject

I Love it When People Think Outside The Box

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac Barnett) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:10:00 +0000

A simple and creative solution to a troubling problem. From HP:

Newspapers aimed at ultra-Orthodox Jewish readers tampered with the inaugural photograph of the Cabinet, erasing ministers Limor Livnat and Sofa Landver.
The daily Yated Neeman digitally changed the photo, moving two male ministers into the places formerly occupied by the women. Ultra-Orthodox newspapers consider it immodest to print images of women.