Somedays I feel awesome.  Then come the canyon sized cracks between where/who I am and where/who I want to go/be.

On those days I don’t seem to know much about myself.  I don’t feel like I know what I want.  I want 85 different things.  I just want to not feel bad.  Which doesn’t feel like much of a goal.

In truth I want only a few things.  But sometimes we can want things too much.

You know?

Today I want to work for myself.  Make money for myself.  Live on my own time clock. Be free from punching in, and punching out.  A great distance away from the –

“Can I have a moment with you’s…”

That seems pretty far away sometimes, doesn’t it?

But it’s important to stay focused.  And it’s important to remember what you/we want.  And it’s important to remember your/our value.  (So you/we can share that with others).

Doing something day in and day out to pay the bills can get pretty disheartening.   But we are stronger than that.  We are smarter.  We have much, much, much more to offer.

And we can start offering it…NOW.

Seriously.  I want to know. Why is it that we know there are goals that we want to achieve, but days after setting them and starting on a new path, we crumble and go back to our former selves…?

I want to know.

Weight loss. Earning more money. Saving money. Eating right. Whatever the goal or task may be. We crumble. We bitch. We whine. We crumble some more.

Why?

The best advice is to power through that whining, bitching, grumpy period and break through to the other side. But why do we have to?  Why can’t we decide on a new path – and take it? Why can’t our brains just think of a new activity and do it?

I want to start working out. There. Done. I want to stop eating junk food. There. Done.

Anthony Robbins says we have to link massive pain to the old pattern and massive pleasure to the new pattern. But why? Why do we have to do any of that?  Why do we find ourselves on these paths of destruction. Why does it seem that life is automatically set up to get us eating badly, spending money everywhere, not working out, partying too much?

Is that how we are hardwired? But why?

I know I am asking a lot of questions in this post. Questions I don’t have the answer to. But they are important. And sometimes just asking them is enough to get the ball rolling.  Why can’t we just change when we want to change?

This week I started riding my bike to work as a sort of challenge I’ve set for myself for the next month.

About 6 months ago I finished my first round of P90X and got my body into the best shape of my life. In the past 6 months I’ve maintained a lot of the excellent eating habits and working out habits, but I’ve slipped a little on cardio. Hence, the reason for the challenge.

The thing of it is, this first week has been grueling! And it has taken everything I’ve got not to quit – or slide back.

A couple other people are also on this challenge with me and they, too, are feeling the pain. But my question is, why?  It’s not really physical. Although that is a part of it. The largest component seems to be mental.

I just don’t want to do it. But why? Are human beings inherently lazy? Do we just want to lay around all day and eat bad food and drink bad drinks and get large?  Are we just a bunch of upright walking sea lions? Creatures of habit? Who do the same thing day in and day out without recognizing it? I’m beginning to think so.

So if that’s the case, the goal would be to switch out your bad habits for good ones. Habits like eating right, exercising, focusing on your money, earning more money, saving more money. Mindfulness.

Then, once your new habits are set, instead of automatically eating bad food you will automatically eat good food. Instead of spending all of your money, you will save all of your money. Instead of sitting around you will move.

Automatically.

So why is change so hard? Because we are up agaist YEARS and YEARS of conditioning and training and molding. To break through that pattern is (apparently) not easy. Or maybe it is.

Maybe it’s just as easy as changing your mind. Deciding. And then following through.

Why not decide today to:

1. Eat healthy food (and find out what that means)
2. Exercise 3 times a week minimum for 30 minutes minimum.
3. Save more money than you spend
4. Look to earn more money than you currently do

Why not?

Think for a moment about the most awesome you imaginable.

The very, very best you.

The absolute, most amazing you.

Just brainstorm.  Just sit there and let your imagination run wild.

There are no barriers.  There are no rules.  Just you and your thoughts.  And an image.

The.  Best.  You.  Ever.

What clothes do you wear?  What do you do with your days?  Where do you go?  Who do you spend time with?

Do you work?

If so, where?

Do you have a family?  What kind of car do you drive?  Does that even matter to you?

Do you own or rent your home?  Where do you live?

Just think.

Just let go and think.

No, there is no lesson behind this blog post.  It’s just a moment to think.

And to imagine the best you possible.

If you’re anything like me you are a black and white, all or nothing thinker.

You’re either great, or you’re horrible.  You’re the best or the worst.  You’re either skinny or you’re fat.

Period.

There is no in between.

But is that really how life works?

Really?

Are there really only tall or short people?  Good or bad people?  Happy or sad people?

No, there are a million variations and shades of personalities.  There are all sizes and shapes or everything.

Trees.  Flowers.  People.  Cars.

Everything.

So why do we lock ourselves into all or nothing thinking?

Are we trying to remain stuck?

It was actually my girlfriend who showed me the error of my all or nothing ways.

I used to get stuck in situations that called for action all the time.  I would see black or white, high or low, in or out.  And I only ever had 2 choices.

Whenever I asked her for advice she would gently remind me that the middle road was also a choice.  That I could combine both choices and create a third possibility.

Needless to say, this new way of thinking changed my life permanently.

Which brings me to the central question of this blog post:

Looking at your life, what are a couple SMALL changes that you could make today that could SLIGHTLY enhance your life?

Not grand, sweeping changes.

Not how could you change your life forever — right now!

But what are a few SMALL changes you could make TODAY?

Here are a few areas to consider:

1. Your finances
2. Your diet
3. Your work
4. Your hobbies
5. Your dreams

What are a few small things you could do?

What is 1 small thing you could do?

For instance, for many years I had tried to get my body into the type of shape I knew I was capable of getting it into.  Athletic.  Muscular.  Healthy.

But I failed miserably.

Why?

Because I had a junk food diet that undermined any workouts I would do.

Seriously, I ate McDonald’s for breakfast, Jack in the Box for Lunch, Burger King for dinner.  Potato chips were my snack of choice.  Soda was my drink.

Living this way, I ballooned to 40 lbs overweight.

And every time I went on a diet I found it impossible and painful.

Finally, I decided I was being too hard on myself and asked myself:

What are 3 foods I could remove from my diet that would help me feel better about myself?

I decided I could safely cut out french fries, candy and pizza.

For a month.

Small changes for a short amount of time.

By allowing myself to continue eating burgers and hot dogs and anything else, I didn’t feel the changes so much.  They wern’t drastic and they weren’t uncomfortable.

And 2 years later, after those changes snowballed, I hit my target weight and no longer live off junk food!

That’s what I’m talking about.

What are a couple small changes that you can make, for a short amount of time, that won’t make you feel uncomfortable, but WILL make you feel good about yourself?

As I am working on changing my finances, or increasing my income, I should think of a couple small changes I can make in this area.

When I hit on what they might be, I’ll come back and post an update.

In his book The Millionaire Mind, T. Harv Eker states that:

The roots create the fruits.

Essentially, that the invisible controls the visible.  That our inside, hidden parts, shape the results we get.

So true.

I don’t know about you, but I spend a lot of my time here:

• Boredom
• Jealousy
• insecurity
• Weakness
• Fear
• Anger
• Sadness
• Emptiness

I can’t imagine much good coming from those inner states — can you?

If I imagine the inner states of the successful me, they’d be:

• Confidence
• Passion
• Excitement
• Joy
• Love
• Integrity
• Belief
• Talent
• Skill
• Ability
• Gratitude

Just looking at those words makes me feel more powerful, more alive.  In fact, it’s worth reviewing them every day.

Anthony Robbins states that words shape how we feel and how we view the world.

I will let these new words shape mine.

Earlier today I was riding my bike at the beach – because that’s my thing – and I overheard two ladies talking as they walked along the strand.

One of them turned to the other and said:

This is so relaxing.  I don’t know why I don’t do this more often.

At first glance I saw nothing wrong with the statement.  I make ones like that all the time. But I thought more about it.

We all know what’s good for us.

Walks along the beach.  Exercise.  Eating right.  Keeping a journal.  Spending time with friends and loved ones.

So why don’t we do more of those things?

We like to say that “life gets in the way”.  But does it, really?

Aren’t those activities I mentioned a part of life?   And if they are so relaxing and enjoyable — why don’t we do more of them?

Maybe when we say “life gets in the way”, we mean — the internet gets in the way.  Or the television.  Or shopping.  Or eating junk food.

Maybe, what we really mean is “bad choices” get in the way.

Maybe…

I’ve noticed that when I focus on the good things in my life — I get more of them.  I get more of them, because I notice when they are happening.

I notice how they feel in my body.

I notice what they mean to me.

When I focus on what I don’t have (and to me this is separate from goal setting) I feel empty inside, incomplete.

I feel lack.

It hurts.

When I focus on what I love, I feel warmth.  Completion.  Inclusion.  I feel connected to everything around me — and I feel close to the world.

This focus on good is all happening because of Step One: accepting where I am.  Noticing that there are a few thngs I woud like to change — and a whole lot of things I don’t want to change.

It’s the It’s a Wonderful Life of goal setting.

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.  John Milton.

Anthony Robbins tells us (and I believe him) that our goals are merely a means for us to achieve a desired emotional state.

That we want those goals for the feelings we think they will bring.

With that in mind, think of the goals you have set for yourself.  What are the corresponding emotional states you believe achieving those goals will bring?

Here’s what I believe achieving my goals will bring me.

• Creativity
• Freedom
• Confidence
• Honesty
• Truth
• Passion
• Joy
• Strength
• Activity
• Life
• Love

I have heard it said that wanting all of these things from the goal puts too much stress on the goal.  Better to pursue these states now.  There is simply no reason to wait.

At least, I can’t think of one.

I’ve been neglecting my car.  It was a great car when I got it — and then I got used to having it.

I stopped taking care of it.  I stopped making sure the fluids were filled and the oil was changed.  It started acting up.

When it started acting up I thought about getting a new one.  I thought about throwing it away and starting fresh.

Even though it’s paid for.  Even though it’s still faster than fast.

That’s life, right?  What we give attention to flourishes.  I give a lot of attention to worrying about things that are beyond my control.  And those things flourish.

Things that greatly benefit my life are left by the wayside.

Relationships.  Work.  Meditation.  Chores.

All left behind in the wake of worry.

The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.  Henry Miller

I spent all of last night thinking about mine.  I know it’s in there.  I know it exists.  But if you’re like me it’s been buried behind 30 plus years of stressing about the wrong thing.  Of worrying about people’s opinions.

Of not being yourself.

I thought long and hard all night.  At 4am I was still thinking.  We all have a thing.  I know we do. I didn’t quite get to mine.  I think it will show up.

If it’s like anything else in life I bet we have a positive thing and a negative thing.  A yin and a yang.

I’m going to think about this all day.  My thing is in there.