In this episode, Sara reflects on how living in France has shifted her relationship with work, rest, and daily life. Drawing from personal experience and Internal Family Systems (IFS), she explores what happens when entrepreneurs become emotionally fused with their businesses and how this can impact identity, nervous system regulation, and wellbeing. The conversation offers a framework for developing a more sovereign and sustainable relationship with work while remaining deeply devoted to one’s calling.

In this episode, we explore:

• How French culture approaches work, rest, and joie de vivre
• The difference between devotion to work and emotional fusion with a business
• Three signs of a codependent relationship with entrepreneurship
• How productivity can become tied to nervous system regulation and self-worth
• A reframing of business as its own sovereign entity rather than an extension of identity

Resources:

• her Self CEO — doors open now
• Subscribe to elle-même, Sara’s Substack

Key takeaways

• When business performance determines emotional wellbeing, identity and work can become overly fused.
• Rest often feels unsafe when productivity has become a primary source of regulation and worth.
• Entrepreneurship can become destabilizing when self-worth depends entirely on what is produced or achieved.
• Relating to a business as a separate entity can create more clarity, boundaries, and self-leadership.
• Sovereignty in business does not require caring less; it requires greater distinction between self and work.
• A sustainable relationship with work allows more space for joy, presence, and life outside productivity.

Episode FAQs

What does it mean to be “blended” with your business?

In Internal Family Systems (IFS), blending refers to a state where a part takes over so fully that access to inner authority and perspective becomes limited. In this episode, Sara applies this concept to entrepreneurship, describing how identity can become fused with business performance, roles, or productivity.

Why can rest feel difficult for entrepreneurs?

The episode explores how productivity can become connected to emotional regulation and feelings of safety or worth. When this happens, slowing down may create anxiety or discomfort, even when rest is needed.

How can someone relate to their business differently?

Sara introduces the idea of relating to a business as its own sovereign entity rather than as an extension of self. This framework allows for more discernment, boundaries, and collaboration rather than emotional fusion.

Is this perspective about caring less about work?

No. The conversation distinguishes between devotion and codependency. The focus is not on becoming detached from meaningful work, but on developing a healthier and more sustainable relationship with it.

Who is this episode most relevant for?

This episode may resonate with entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, therapists, and other self-employed women whose work is deeply connected to identity, purpose, or calling.

Read the Full Transcript

Hello, beautiful women. Here we are in mid-May, and I am learning that France takes May very seriously. There are four national holidays this month, what the French call the Pont de Mai, the Bridges of May, and the idea is beautifully simple. If a holiday falls on a Thursday, you take Friday off too, bridging your way to a long weekend, and that’s what’s happening here this week.

It’s practical, it’s elegant, and it’s deeply, wonderfully French. And living here in Bordeaux now for almost nine months, which is kind of hard to believe, but also not hard to believe at a certain level, one of the things that I feel most inspired by, and honestly most relieved by, is that work is simply one piece of life.

It’s not the center around which everything else orbits. It’s just one piece. And what I experienced for most of my adult life living in the United States was almost the inverse, that work was central, and life found its way into whatever space was left over.

I didn’t realize just how deeply that had shaped me until I started living here, living in a place that truly operates so differently. There is a phrase that you hear often when people talk about French culture, and that is joie de vivre, the joy of living. And I want to tell you, this is not a cliché.

It is something that you feel here. It is something you feel on a Sunday morning when the city is quiet, when businesses are closed, when people are simply being rather than producing.

We live right near the Jardin Public, and I walk Sadie there pretty much every day. Sometimes it’s in the middle of the workday, and I’ll walk through the gardens and people are just sitting on benches reading or doing nothing, or laying on the grass having a picnic in the middle of a workday.

Last Sunday, my husband Chris and I walked to the marché that happens every Sunday along the river here in Bordeaux with our dog, Sadie, trotting happily alongside us. We didn’t need much. We knew we would do bigger shopping for the week on Monday, and this was mostly for the pleasure of it.

We picked up some extraordinary strawberries. If you haven’t had a French strawberry in season, I really don’t know how to describe it to you. It is like candy in the best possible way.

On our walk home along the river, we wandered over to a wide patch of grass instead of going straight home. We took off our shoes and socks and put our feet on the ground. We felt the sun on our faces and the fresh breeze coming off the water, and we both looked at each other and smiled and said, “I love living here so much.”

There is a real relaxation happening inside of me, and I want to be honest that I know this is a longer-term unraveling. It’s the undoing of very old patterns, a very old relationship with work, with productivity, with always being on, with underlying stress that I always felt living in the US that went beyond just the personal.

That kind of unraveling doesn’t just happen in eight or nine months. But I am already feeling it beginning, and I am deeply grateful for that.

Part of what’s supporting this right now is that I am in the active process of shifting my business model. I’ve come to see that the model that I’ve been working with for many years is not congruent with the life that I am building here, with this life centered around joie de vivre.

I hired support to help me with this, and this month I began working with a new business coach, someone I’ve been wanting to work with for a couple of years. It’s already been profoundly supportive to have another pair of eyes on my work, to be seen by someone who can challenge me, help me identify where I’m playing small, and point out where there is room for me to grow in ways that feel true to the direction that I’m heading in.

I’m turning 50 in a year and a half, so I’m thinking carefully and joyfully about how I want to move into my new decade, how I want to spend it, what I want to create, and what I want my daily life to look and feel like.

One of the things that I’ve shifted this year in terms of my business model is that I moved over to Substack and am making that my primary platform. This is bringing me a lot of joy. Yes, there is a learning curve, and yes, I have been learning a lot, but I’ve been connecting with many wonderful people, some of whom I’ve known for many years and many whom I’m just meeting for the first time.

This fall, I am shifting what I’m leading in terms of retreats. I am offering two in-person retreats.

The first one is called The French Art of Slow Living, a joie de vivre retreat. This is a weekend experience from October 30th through November 1st at Kripalu in the Berkshire Mountains of Western Massachusetts. This retreat is designed to support you in exploring how to truly slow down, live intentionally, and center joy in your life and work.

Immediately following that, from November 1st through November 6th, I am leading the Self-Led Woman Retreat, which blends Internal Family Systems and feminine spiritual leadership with sovereignty at its center. How do we lead from our inner authority in our work and our lives?

I would say that the bigger shift around my business model relates to my core program, Her Self CEO, which is a 12-week business accelerator for spiritually mature coaches, therapists, healing professionals, and creatives. We blend Internal Family Systems, women’s spirituality, and timeless business principles to help you create a steady, calm, six-figure business based on the truth of who you are and the kind of life that you want to live.

This program is truly the heart of my work. What is changing is the way that I promote it and the way that I enroll women into it. This business model that I’m shifting into is one that I’ve been curious about for a long time, but I’ve never fully delved into it. It feels much more congruent with the slower, more intentional life that I am building here.

All of this — the long weekends, the strawberries, the barefoot afternoons by the river, the business model in transition, the longer-term unraveling — has been showing me something that I wanted to name with you today.

When work is not the center of your identity, something opens up. There is room for actual living. There is room for joie de vivre.

What I witness so often in the women I work with is how easy it is, especially in entrepreneurship, especially when our business feels like our baby or our calling, for business to stop being something that you do and start feeling like who you are.

This episode is an invitation to untangle that, to choose sovereignty in your relationship with yourself and with your business.

In Internal Family Systems, we have a word for what happens when a part of us takes over so completely that we lose access to our Self, our inner knowing, our inner authority. In IFS, we call this blending.

What I want to offer is that it is possible not only to blend with our inner parts, but also to blend with our business. When we are blended with our business, we could say we are in a more codependent relationship with it. Our identity becomes fused with our work.

There are signs, and I want to name a few of them gently, not as a diagnosis, but as a mirror.

The first sign is that your mood tracks your metrics.

A good week of sales, strong engagement, or a new client signing on can leave you feeling expansive, worthy, and lit up. Then there is a quiet week, a launch that doesn’t land, or a client who doesn’t renew, and something in you deflates.

Your business has become your emotional weather system. You don’t just have a slow week — you are a slow week.

The performance of your business and the state of your inner world have become, for all practical purposes, the same thing. When that is the case, you are not leading your business. Your business is leading you.

The second sign is that rest feels unsafe or like something that must be earned.

You take a day off, but there is a low hum of anxiety underneath it. You feel pulled toward checking email or doing something productive. You tell yourself you’ll rest after the launch, after the program ends, after the year wraps up, but the “after” never quite arrives because there is always something your business needs.

This is your nervous system becoming conditioned to urgency. When productivity becomes a primary way that we regulate ourselves, stopping genuinely feels unsafe.

I say this with tenderness because I have lived this too. It takes time to untangle that, and I go through different seasons of it.

The third sign is perhaps the most important, and that is that you don’t quite know who you are outside of your work.

Take away the title, the offerings, the expertise, the identity of being a coach or healer or entrepreneur, and what remains?

This is not a comfortable question, and the discomfort itself is information.

If our sense of self rests almost entirely on what we produce and who we serve, we have outsourced our worth to something that will always fluctuate, and that is a deeply unstable place to live from.

The only stable place to live from is our own inner authority, our own sovereignty, our own true Self.

If any of this resonates, you’re not doing anything wrong. This pattern is incredibly common, especially among high-capacity, deeply devoted women. In many ways, it’s a natural consequence of caring deeply about your work and being highly skilled at what you do.

But caring deeply is different from fusing with it entirely. That distinction — the gap between devotion and codependency — is exactly where your sovereignty lives.

How do we begin to untangle?

Today, I want to talk about one particular angle that is not commonly discussed. The reframe I want to offer is this: your business is not you. It is its own sovereign entity. It has its own highest Self.

Inside the first pillar of Her Self CEO, called The Sacred World of Your Business, we practice relating to one’s business not as an extension of ourselves, but as a distinct, separate presence with its own intelligence, purpose, direction, and highest expression in the world.

We explore what it truly means to be in relationship with your business rather than fused with it.

When you begin to approach your business this way, something profound shifts. Instead of being your business, you are in relationship with it.

Real relationship requires two sovereign beings. You are not fused or blended together, but there is an interrelationship. You can dialogue with your business. You can ask it what it needs. You can notice when it seems to be moving in a direction you hadn’t planned and become curious rather than reactive.

You can even experience tension with it. Just like any relationship, that tension becomes part of an ongoing living conversation.

In IFS, this is the move from blending to self-led partnership, from merger to genuine relationship and collaboration.

This reframe is not about caring less. It is not asking you to be less devoted to your calling. It is asking you to be more distinct, clearer about your boundaries, and clearer about where you end and where your business begins.

That is sovereignty. It’s not separation or detachment.

What I am experiencing here in France is that work is work and life is life, and the health of one depends on not consuming the other entirely.

What I’m discovering here, laying barefoot on the grass last Sunday afternoon, watching the river and holding a bag of extraordinary strawberries, is that when I am not fused with my business, when I can set it down and simply be a woman with her husband and her dog and an afternoon ahead of her, I return to my work more clearly, more refreshed, more inspired, more joyful, and with more of myself intact.

That is the invitation I’m living into, and it’s the invitation I want to extend to you.

What would change in how you relate to your business if you began to see it as its own sovereign presence, something you are in relationship with rather than something you are?

The post #256 Signs You’re in a Codependent Relationship With Your Business appeared first on saraavantstover.com.

This episode explores why Substack has become a central platform in Sara’s work and creative life. It is particularly relevant for women who feel fatigued by traditional social media and are seeking a more grounded, relational way to share their work. The episode examines the tension between visibility and values, and what it means to communicate without performance or algorithm-driven pressure. It also offers a broader reflection on writing, community, and sustainable ways of building a body of work.

In this episode, we explore:

• The shift from traditional social media to Substack
• How Substack supports depth, consistency, and relational connection
• The role of writing as a creative and spiritual practice
• Differences between algorithm-driven platforms and email-based publishing
• Building community through conversation rather than performance

Resources:

• Subscribe to elle-même, Sara’s Substack

Key takeaways

• Substack allows for direct, unfiltered communication through email, creating a more intimate connection
• The platform rewards consistency and depth rather than virality or performance
• Many women with nuanced, meaningful work find traditional platforms misaligned with their values
• Writing can function as both a business tool and a creative or spiritual practice

Episode FAQs

What makes Substack different from traditional social media platforms?
Substack centers on direct communication through email rather than relying on algorithm-driven feeds. This allows for a more consistent and personal connection between the writer and reader.

Who is this approach to visibility most suited for?
It is particularly relevant for women engaged in depth-oriented work such as coaching, healing, teaching, or writing, where nuance and relationship are central.

How does Substack support a different kind of creative process?
It allows for longer-form writing and more natural expression, without the need to adapt ideas into short, attention-driven formats.

Is Substack only for writers?
No. While it is well-suited to writing, it also supports audio content, voice notes, and other forms of communication.

What role does community play on Substack?
Community is built through ongoing dialogue, including comments, direct messages, and shared conversations, rather than passive consumption.

Read the Full Transcript

Hello, beautiful women. I am joining you today from the US. I’m here for a couple weeks. I started this trip at one of my favorite places in the world, Kripalu, a big yoga and wellness center in the Berkshire Mountains of Western Massachusetts. If you’ve never been, it’s stunning, especially at this time of year with the early signs of spring.

One of the benefits of jet lag is waking up early and taking early morning yoga classes. It’s always a treat having meals prepared, enjoying the buffet lines, receiving treatments in the Healing Arts Center, and taking long walks on the grounds. It’s incredibly nourishing.

I was there leading my Healing from Heartbreak retreat. We use IFS and spiritual principles to help navigate challenging and uncertain times, both personally and collectively. I’ll be returning later this year.

Right now, we are in week four of the current cohort of Self CEO. We’ve just finished the first pillar, the Sacred World of Your Business, where we explore how to partner with the guidance of your highest self and the highest self of your business. Now we’re moving into the inner world of your business, applying IFS to the parts that arise as women steward their work.

Back in France, I’ve been reflecting on something that has become central to my life and work over the past couple of months, which is why I’ve been publishing less on the podcast.

One of my core values is simplicity. I don’t chase trends or complicate things unnecessarily. Recently, I passed my two-month mark on Substack, called LMM, and I’ve gone all in on this platform.

I want to talk about why. Especially for women who feel exhausted by what visibility requires today.

When I moved to France last fall, something shifted. My life became fuller, richer, and I found myself wanting to write more—about daily life, observations, and discoveries. Writing has always been a spiritual practice for me, not just a business tool.

I wanted a place to write that felt real, not filtered or optimized. Substack offers that. It’s not just for writers—you can publish audio, voice notes, and more—but it allows for expression that feels closer to how I write in my books.

Social media has changed significantly over the years. It has become dominated by algorithms, requiring content to be shaped in specific ways to be seen. While I still show up authentically, it often requires filtering my voice through formats that aren’t natural.

Substack is different. While it has an algorithm, it is designed to connect you with aligned readers. When someone subscribes, your work goes directly to their inbox, creating a more intimate relationship.

It rewards consistency, voice, and trust built over time, rather than spectacle or virality. These values align with the way many women in healing, coaching, and spiritual work naturally operate.

There is also a social feature called Notes. Initially, I resisted it, but I found it functions differently from traditional social media. It’s more conversational, more natural, and part of a daily rhythm.

In the past two months, I’ve experienced genuine community—dialogue, collaboration, and connection. It feels like writing to someone who writes back.

This has also informed how I support women in my mastermind. Many are seeking ways to share their work without compromising their values. Substack is one option that supports that.

For women with depth—healers, teachers, writers—Substack allows for long-form expression, nuance, and direct connection. It’s not just a marketing strategy but a form of sovereignty.

For me, joining Substack was both an external and internal decision.

It has been a rewarding creative and business project so far. I continue to learn, but it already feels aligned.

If you’ve been questioning where to share your work, this may be something to explore. Above all, continue listening to your inner knowing and seek spaces that support genuine connection and expression.

The post #255 How Substack Is the Platform That Finally Rewards Women of Depth appeared first on saraavantstover.com.

In this episode, Sara speaks with three women from a recent cohort of her Self CEO: Courtenay Mastain, Reise Tanner, and Anna Pell. They reflect on what changed for them while building businesses that are aligned with their inner lives, values, and spiritual orientation. The conversation explores the intersection of personal growth and entrepreneurship, including the role of inner work, community, and practical structure. It offers a behind-the-scenes perspective on what happens when women develop their work from a place of deeper internal congruence.

In this episode, we explore:

• What happens when women shift from forcing business strategies to building work that reflects their deeper values and identity
• How Internal Family Systems (IFS) work can support entrepreneurs who feel stuck between intuition and practical execution
• The idea of partnering with the “soul of the business” rather than carrying the full weight of responsibility alone
• The role of structure, systems, and strategy for spiritually oriented entrepreneurs
• How women in the program clarified their direction, including launching new ventures, programs, and creative work

Resources

• Learn more about her Self CEO
• Inside her Self CEO: Real Stories of Women Leading from Wholeness

Key takeaways

• A business can be approached as a vessel or stewarded entity rather than something that fully defines the person running it.
• Integrating inner psychological work with practical strategy can reduce internal conflict and increase clarity.
• Focusing on fewer priorities can create greater momentum and reduce overwhelm.
• Community containers can help entrepreneurs move ideas forward with accountability and support.
• Allowing work to evolve iteratively—rather than waiting for perfection—helps bring meaningful projects into the world.

Episode FAQs

What is meant by a soul-led business in this episode?
A soul-led business refers to work that reflects a person’s deeper values, spiritual orientation, and authentic identity. Instead of separating personal growth from business development, the two evolve together.

How does Internal Family Systems (IFS) relate to entrepreneurship?
IFS is used to understand the internal parts that influence behavior, including hesitation, ambition, creativity, or fear. When entrepreneurs understand these parts, they can lead their businesses with greater clarity and self-leadership.

Why do the participants talk about the “soul of the business”?
Several women describe a shift from feeling solely responsible for the business to seeing it as something they partner with. This perspective helps reduce pressure and frames the business as something that expresses a deeper purpose.

Who might find this perspective helpful?
This approach tends to resonate with coaches, therapists, creatives, and healing professionals who want their work to be sustainable while remaining aligned with their values and inner development.

What kinds of changes did participants experience during the program?
Participants describe clarifying the direction of their work, creating or refining programs, establishing clearer structures for their businesses, and developing a stronger sense of internal alignment.

Read the Full Transcript

Today I am joined by three women from the most recent cohort of her Self CEO: Courtenay, Reise, and Anna. We recorded this conversation near the end of our time together, and I invited them to share what their experience has been like inside the program and what has shifted for them internally and in their work.

Welcome. I’d love to start by having each of you introduce yourself and share a little about the work you’re doing now or stepping into. Courtenay, why don’t we start with you?

Courtenay:
I am a circle facilitator and a cycle awareness advocate. My work has grown organically from my own process of coming back to myself. During our time together, I’ve been transitioning from focusing primarily on teaching yoga to incorporating other aspects of my work.

It has come together under a new name that I’m sharing publicly for the first time: Circle Is Medicine. For me it captures the essence of what I offer—circles, cycles, and community. These are the things that have supported and healed me, and they are what I want to offer to others.

Sara:
Thank you. Reise, how about you?

Reise:
I’m in a period of transition. My previous business focused on birth work, education, and facilitating groups under the name Seed in the Garden. I’ve been gradually moving away from that and stepping into a new business called Myth Athea.

Through that work I’m curating programs that bring together story medicine and depth psychological coaching. I feel excited about this new chapter and about bringing it into form more quickly with the support of this program.

Sara:
And Anna?

Anna:
My medicine is horse wisdom. I spent forty years in the corporate sector as a change management consultant, and for about twenty years my business has been moving through cycles of development.

This year I’m stepping away from corporate work and committing fully to facilitating work with women in community alongside horses. Over the past two decades I’ve learned a great deal from the three horses who have been with me throughout that time. The work now feels like a re-emergence and a recalibration of who I am and how women can support one another in reconnecting with themselves.

Sara:
You all joined her Self CEO in the fall, and the day this episode airs is actually our closing circle. I’m curious what initially drew you to join.

Courtenay:
For me there were two main things. One was that the program was grounded in IFS. I’m relatively new to it, but what I had experienced spoke to me. I was interested in integrating parts work into my work in the world.

The other reason was that I had several projects happening at once—teaching yoga, a collaboration called Yes to Yourself around the self-marriage movement, and another project involving a mobile sauna. I was looking for support in bringing these pieces together and finding a through line.

The integration of inner work with the practical aspects of building a soul-led business was very appealing.

Reise:
I’m a visionary and creative person, and ideas come easily to me. What I struggle with more is structure—things like marketing systems and the practical steps of building something sustainable.

Many business courses I explored didn’t resonate with me. What drew me here was the balance of pragmatic business guidance with an understanding of soulful or spiritual work. The structure helped me move from having many ideas to having clearer systems that allow those ideas to take shape.

Anna:
For me it was also the combination of IFS and spirituality. I had done some introductory work with an IFS therapist in the UK before joining. At the same time, I felt a deep frustration with myself for spending years with one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake.

The idea of doing the internal work and the external business work within the same container felt significant. Listening to Sara’s podcast, I had a clear instinct that this was the right place.

Sara:
Looking back to when you first joined, did you have any resistance?

Courtenay:
Yes, particularly around the investment and around the identity of being a CEO. I’ve been self-employed for years and mostly figured things out on my own. The idea of investing in business development in that way felt unfamiliar.

At the same time, there was a part of me that knew the timing was right. Something I heard on one of your podcasts about integrating personal work with business work stayed with me.

Reise:
My hesitation was about joining another group program. I value group spaces, but they can also require a lot of time and energy.

What ultimately drew me in was the live aspect and the sense that we would move through the material together rather than simply consuming recordings. The group felt large enough to create energy but small enough to maintain intimacy.

Anna:
For me the decision came very quickly. I had been looking for something like this for many years. Once I saw the program and listened to several podcasts, I knew it was the right fit.

I also wanted to make sure the energy and timing were aligned. After speaking together briefly, I felt confident that this was the right step.

Sara:
What has been most surprising about the experience?

Anna:
One surprise has been the sense of connection across continents. There are cultural differences between the UK and North America, but the group shared a common intention around building soul-led businesses.

Another powerful moment for me happened during the exercise connecting with the higher self of the business. I realized that I wasn’t meant to carry the business alone. Instead, I was partnering with the deeper spirit of the work itself.

That realization lifted a great deal of pressure.

Courtenay:
I was surprised by the amount of practical support available. There are templates, documents, and tools that continue to reveal themselves even now.

At the same time, there was also a sense of unseen support—feeling like a steward of something that wants to come through rather than forcing it.

Reise:
One of the biggest shifts for me was seeing the business as something separate from my identity. As a solopreneur it’s easy to feel like the business is you.

Thinking of it as something I steward allows me to approach it more strategically while still staying connected to the deeper purpose of the work.

Another shift was recognizing that I can structure my business around my values rather than feeling that those values are in conflict with business practices.

Sara:
What are you most excited to deepen into as you move forward?

Courtenay:
I’m excited to continue developing Circle Is Medicine and to share more of my process publicly rather than waiting until everything feels finished.

Writing has also returned as an important part of my work, and I’m looking forward to exploring that again.

Reise:
I feel like I’m in the process of birthing Myth Athea. I now have a core signature program that serves as the foundation, with other offerings branching from it.

Having a clearer structure helps me move forward without feeling overwhelmed. I’m also allowing the work to evolve over time rather than waiting for everything to be perfect.

Anna:
I’m excited to bring the work with horses more fully into the world through workshops and gatherings with women. My deeper intention is to work from a place of flow rather than effort or over-analysis.

Reconnecting with my core self has helped me trust that process more fully.

Sara:
It has been a joy to witness each of you and to see the ways your work is taking shape. Thank you for sharing your experiences so generously with our wider community.

The post #254 When Your Business Finally Reflects Who You Are appeared first on saraavantstover.com.

This episode examines the belief that success must come at the cost of exhaustion. Sara reflects on how high-achieving women often internalize the idea that effort and depletion are proof of meaningful work. Drawing from her experience leading retreats and building a business, she explores how this pattern develops and why it persists. The episode considers what it might look like to pursue success in ways that are sustainable and replenishing rather than draining.

In this episode, we explore:

• How early experiences and cultural models can fuse exhaustion with achievement
• The pattern of overfunctioning that many accomplished women carry into their businesses
• A reframing of leadership that allows energy to circulate rather than only flow outward
• The difference between caring deeply about your work and gripping it with overexertion
• A reflective question that can help shift how you approach your next project or milestone

Key takeaways

• Many high-achieving women internalize the belief that success requires depletion.
• Overgiving can become a hidden standard used to measure the value of one’s work.
• Leadership and facilitation do not require draining personal energy to create meaningful outcomes.
• Allowing yourself to receive from the experience you are creating can change how work feels.
• Sustainable success may involve leaving energy in reserve rather than giving everything away.

Episode FAQs

Why do many women entrepreneurs associate exhaustion with success?
Many people grow up in environments where hard work is modeled as relentless effort followed by collapse or recovery. Over time, exhaustion becomes interpreted as evidence that the work mattered or that one tried hard enough.

What does overfunctioning look like in a business context?
Overfunctioning can show up as anticipating every need, taking responsibility for everyone’s experience, overpreparing, and believing that the outcome depends entirely on one’s personal effort.

Does doing less mean lowering standards or caring less about the work?
No. The distinction is between care and overexertion. It is possible to bring skill, attention, and devotion to work without draining every available resource.

What does it mean to participate in the experience you are leading?
Rather than seeing yourself as the sole source of energy for an event, program, or project, this perspective allows the environment, the participants, and the structure of the work to also hold and sustain the experience.

How can someone begin shifting this pattern in practical terms?
A helpful starting point is reflection. Asking how a project might unfold if it were designed to leave you replenished rather than depleted can reveal assumptions, internal pressures, and alternative ways of working.

Read the Full Transcript

I remember in high school and college when finals would come around. I would go all in. I was never much of a late-night studier. I would study all day, go to bed at night, wake up early in the morning, and it was total tunnel vision. It was that final push right before a big break, whether it was the Christmas break or the summer break.

I always did well on my exams. I was a straight-A student, sometimes an A+ student.

Every single time I would leave—whether it was from Barnard in New York City or earlier when I went to boarding school at Taft in Connecticut—I would return to our family home afterwards completely wiped out. It would take me several days to recover.

I didn’t question that. It just seemed like the deal: you work really hard, you succeed, and then you collapse. That was the cycle. That was what success looked like.

That was also what my dad modeled. He would wake up every morning at 5 a.m., drive to the train station down the road from us, and take the train into New York City. He would come back in the evening, sometimes not until nine o’clock at night. On the weekends he would sleep in until around 11 a.m. because he was so exhausted.

Somewhere along the way—and obviously this started early for me—exhaustion and success became really fused together in my system. They became two sides of the same coin.

If I wasn’t depleted, I must not have tried hard enough. If it didn’t cost me nearly everything, then it didn’t really count.

I want to explore that today because I think so many of us are carrying this belief, and it’s running our businesses and our lives without our explicit, sovereign permission.

That pattern did not end in school. It followed me right into my work.

One example is that I’ve been leading retreats now for over two decades. About fifteen years ago, the same cycle was playing out in my retreats. I would lead a week-long retreat in some idyllic place like Thailand or Mexico and give it everything.

Every ounce of my attention, my energy, my care. I would hold space for every single woman there and leave everything on the dance floor, as the saying goes.

Then I would go home and completely collapse. I would need several days of recovery.

There was a part of me that wore that exhaustion as a badge of honor. It felt like proof that I had really shown up, that I had given enough, and that the women had had a profound experience. The retreat had been a success because look at how much it cost me.

At the time, I was working with a therapist who was also a retreat leader herself. She challenged this pattern in a way I’ve never forgotten.

She said, “Sara, what if you allowed yourself to actually participate in the retreat? To feel like you are part of the retreat field, not just the one making it happen for everyone else?”

She encouraged me to let the container be the container, rather than thinking that I alone was the container.

She said, “What if there’s a flow of energy going out from you, yes, but also coming back in so that you’re receiving too?”

Then she said something that really shifted things for me.

I had said something about always doing my best. She replied, “What if you didn’t always do your best?”

I want to let that land for a moment because that question disrupted something significant in me.

What if you didn’t always do your best?

For someone like me—and maybe for someone like you—that feels almost too dangerous to consider.

Many of us have built our identities around giving our all, around being the one who shows up fully, who overprepares and makes sure every detail is taken care of.

We’ve been rewarded for that our whole lives. Good grades, gold stars, certifications, successful businesses, people telling us how amazing we are and how much our work has changed their lives.

Underneath all of that is the belief that if we let up even a little bit, everything could come crashing down. That our worth is contingent on our output. That we have to earn our place through effort and exhaustion.

What my therapist was pointing to was something radical.

She wasn’t saying to be careless. She wasn’t saying not to care.

She was asking: what if the gripping, the overgiving, the leaving everything on the dance floor isn’t actually what makes it good? What if that’s simply what makes it too costly?

That conversation changed things for me.

I started transforming how I lead retreats. I began allowing myself to be held by the experience too, not just to be the one holding it. I started participating in the field, not just leading it.

I let go of the belief that I needed to pour every last drop of myself into the retreat in order for it to be successful.

The retreats were still wonderful—maybe even better—because I wasn’t gripping. I was more present.

I actually began leaving the retreats feeling better than I did going into them. I left feeling replenished instead of depleted.

I’ve carried that shift into other areas of my business as well.

For the work that I do, I don’t need to drain myself. I don’t need to pour everything into it. It can still be excellent. It can still be deeply impactful.

And I can walk away with something left in my tank.

Here’s what I want to name, though, because I don’t think this is just my story. In fact, I know it’s not.

So many of us as accomplished women are high functioning to the point of overfunctioning. We anticipate needs before they’re expressed. We take responsibility for everyone’s experience. We believe it all rests on us.

Often there’s a deep, unexamined belief that if we don’t exhaust ourselves—if we don’t give it absolutely everything—it’s not going to work.

I invite you to question whether that’s actually true.

You don’t have to leave everything on the dance floor. You can leave something in the tank.

You can show up with care, devotion, and skill and still have something left for yourself at the end.

Success that requires you to exhaust yourself is not success. It’s a pattern, and it’s one that we get to outgrow.

So here’s the question I want to leave you with this week.

What would your next big thing look like if it left you feeling replenished instead of depleted?

Whether that’s a launch, a retreat, a client day, or a project—what would it look like if you didn’t grip it? If you allowed yourself to be part of the experience instead of the one making it all happen?

Notice what comes up when you ask yourself that.

Notice which parts of you resist or don’t believe that it’s possible. Notice which parts of you feel some relief and an exhale.

The post #253 You Don’t Have to Exhaust Yourself to Deserve Success appeared first on saraavantstover.com.

This episode explores the idea that your business is not separate from your spiritual path, but one of its most powerful expressions. It is for women entrepreneurs who notice recurring patterns—procrastination, undercharging, burnout, fear of visibility—and want to understand them more deeply. Rather than treating these as business problems to fix, Sara reframes business as a spiritual practice which helps healing and growth. At the center is a shift from external success to what she calls success with soul.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why recurring business struggles often point to deeper internal patterns
• How business functions as a spiritual practice rooted in embodiment
• The IFS concept of “trailheads” and how friction reveals parts ready for healing
• The difference between external success and success with soul
• Relating to your business as a living, intelligent partner rather than an object

Key takeaways

• Business challenges are not simply strategic problems; they often reflect unhealed patterns and protective parts.
• Friction in visibility, money, or leadership can be approached as an invitation rather than a failure.
• Spiritual practice is about embodiment and self-mastery, not transcendence.
• External success without inner alignment can feel hollow and depleting.
• When you relate to your business as a living partnership, new insight and direction become available.

Resources mentioned

her Self CEO

Episode FAQs

What does it mean to treat business as a spiritual practice?
It means approaching business as a path of embodiment and self-mastery. Instead of separating inner work from external results, business becomes a place where personal healing, leadership growth, and spiritual development unfold in real time.

How does Internal Family Systems (IFS) apply to entrepreneurship?
IFS offers a framework for understanding internal reactions—fear, procrastination, perfectionism—as protective parts rather than flaws. In business, moments of resistance can be seen as “trailheads” pointing toward parts that need attention and compassion.

What is the difference between external success and success with soul?
External success focuses on metrics such as revenue or recognition. Success with soul prioritizes inner alignment and wholeness first, allowing external results to emerge from that grounded foundation.

Why do recurring patterns show up in business even after personal growth work?
Business brings internal beliefs and wounds into visible, relational contexts—money, leadership, visibility, power. These environments can activate parts that may not surface in private spiritual practice alone.

Who is this perspective most helpful for?
It is especially relevant for spiritually oriented women entrepreneurs who sense that strategy alone is not enough and who want their work, inner healing, and leadership to be integrated rather than compartmentalized.

Full transcript available below.

I want to invite you into something with me. Pause for a moment wherever you are and consider this question:

What is one pattern that, despite how much inner and outer work you’ve done, keeps showing up for you in your business?

Maybe it’s the way you freeze before you launch something new. Chronic undercharging. Inconsistent income no matter how consistently you’re working. Pouring yourself into others’ needs and neglecting your own. Starting something with fire and then abandoning it before it takes root.

Whatever it is, it’s like a recurring injury. You think it’s healed. You feel strong again. Then you’re under stress, you push a little too hard, and there it is—flaring up. And you think, why can’t I just get past this?

We all have our version of this. Naming it, even quietly to ourselves, is where the real work begins.

Everything I’m about to share speaks directly to that place.

I want to talk about the idea that your business is one of the most powerful spiritual practices you will ever take on.

If you’re in the middle of a struggle—a launch that didn’t go well, burnout, procrastination, questioning your path—that may feel like a stretch. But stay with me.

When I was in my twenties, I was living in Thailand, deeply immersed in spiritual practice—meditation, yoga, silent retreats. When I returned to the U.S. and began building my business in earnest, I noticed something.

All those years on the meditation cushion prepared me in many ways. But building a business—being seen, asking people to invest, navigating rejection, failing, leading a team, managing money—cracked me open in ways that silence alone never could.

Business asks you to take what’s internal and make it external. It brings your inner world into the outer world. In that process, you come face to face with every place you are blocked, invested in limitation, wounded, or not yet living into who you truly are.

For me, spiritual practice is not about transcending your humanity. It’s about embodiment. It’s about bringing your soul’s essence more fully into your body, relationships, daily life, business, and finances. It’s about mastering yourself.

When you’re writing a sales page and a voice says, “Who are you to charge that much?”—that’s a spiritual moment. That friction is an invitation.

Business is a sacred mirror. It reveals old wounds, beliefs, and patterns that keep us from full expression.

Fear of visibility. Fear of judgment. Fear of failure. Fear of success. People-pleasing. Over-functioning. Procrastination. Perfectionism.

These are not business problems. They are human patterns. Parts of us learned long ago that it was not safe to be fully seen or expressed.

Business brings those patterns to the surface—often at inconvenient times. But those stuck places are not problems. They are doorways.

In Internal Family Systems, we call these moments trailheads. A trailhead is not a boulder blocking the path. It’s a signpost saying, go here. There’s something important to discover.

Anxiety before you hit publish. Scrolling instead of working. A knot in your stomach before a sales call. Trailheads.

They point to parts of you carrying beliefs, stories, or wounds ready to be seen and tended with compassion.

When we turn toward those parts rather than judging or bypassing them, we grow. We become more whole. From that wholeness, we lead and create in a more authentic way.

There’s also a difference between external success and what I call success with soul.

External success—revenue, followers, accolades—without connection to your inner life is hollow. It can be depleting.

Success with soul is an inside-out approach. The internal victory comes first: mastering yourself, transforming patterns, leading from wholeness rather than wounds. From there, external results become an expression of inner alignment.

We cannot compartmentalize business from spiritual or therapeutic work. They are braided together. Your inner world shapes your business, and your business invites you deeper into your inner world.

Your business was a divine inspiration. The desire to build what you’re building did not come only from strategy. It came from somewhere deeper.

Your business has its own highest self. Its own intelligence. It is alive and evolving. It is choosing you as much as you are choosing it.

There are moments when it seems to lead you—an unexpected opportunity, a closed door that turns out to be necessary, momentum you couldn’t manufacture.

Your business is a mirror and a partner. It sends the right client, creates growth circumstances, and places opportunities that stretch you.

How are you relating to your business? As an object? An extension of yourself to control? Or as a living entity with its own wisdom?

When you relate to the sacred intelligence of your business, you open to transformation that strategy alone cannot create.

Your soul chose this life, this time, these gifts and wounds, and the inspiration for this business. The obstacles are not detours. They are the path.

Nothing is wasted. Not the difficult client. Not the failed launch. Not the season of doubt. It is all part of who you are becoming.

So here is a reflection:

What is your business showing you right now?

Where are you feeling friction, resistance, avoidance, fear?

What if you approached it as a trailhead?

What if you said, “I see you. I’m curious. What are you trying to show me?”

You don’t need all the answers. You need willingness to listen.

That willingness is the heart of the practice. That is business as a spiritual practice.

The post #252 Your Business Has a Soul (And It’s Trying to Talk to You) appeared first on saraavantstover.com.

This episode explores how artificial intelligence can support sensitive, spiritually oriented women in building sustainable businesses. It is for solopreneurs who want to work with less exhaustion while staying aligned with their values and voice. The episode examines a “both-and” approach to AI—one that integrates strategy and intuition rather than choosing between them. It also addresses how AI is reshaping visibility, discoverability, and client connection.

In this episode, we explore:

• The emotional and practical resistance many sensitive women feel toward using AI
• A both-and framework for integrating technology without losing authenticity
• How AI can reduce workload, burnout, and creative fatigue
• The shift from social media visibility to AI-driven discoverability
• Practical ways to position long-form content to be found through AI tools

Key takeaways

• AI can function as a collaborative partner rather than a replacement for human voice
• Using AI thoughtfully can support nervous system health and sustainable work rhythms
• Discoverability is shifting from constant social media output to long-form content clarity
• Clear, consistent messaging helps AI tools accurately recommend your work
• Sensitive solopreneurs do not need to choose between rest, integrity, and relevance

Resources mentioned

• Join her Self CEO

Episode FAQs

Who is this episode most helpful for?
This episode is most helpful for sensitive, spiritually oriented women solopreneurs who want to work more sustainably while staying aligned with their values.

Does using AI mean losing authenticity in business?
No. When used intentionally, AI can support clarity and efficiency without replacing personal voice or lived experience.

How is AI changing visibility and marketing?
AI is shifting discoverability away from constant social media activity toward long-form content that can be surfaced through private, question-based searches.

Is AI only useful for tech-savvy business owners?
No. AI can be learned gradually and used as a supportive tool rather than a technical skill set, especially when focused on collaboration rather than automation.

What is the core perspective offered in this episode?
The episode emphasizes a both-and approach that integrates technology with intuition, structure with sensitivity, and strategy with soul-led work.

Read the Full Transcript

A recent conversation inside a group mentoring call sparked a deeper reflection on how AI is currently being used—or avoided—by sensitive women solopreneurs. While some women were already engaging with AI and feeling energized by its possibilities, others felt intimidated, overwhelmed, or unsure where to begin.

This tension is understandable. When AI tools first emerged publicly in late 2022, there was both curiosity and hesitation. Over time, it became clear that this technology would fundamentally change how business is done. The choice was whether to resist it or learn to work with it in a way that felt ethical, grounded, and supportive.

Throughout years of entrepreneurship, adopting technology early proved beneficial. AI initially became a support for tasks that felt draining, such as writing certain types of marketing copy. Over time, its role expanded into a collaborative partner that made work easier, more efficient, and more aligned.

This episode approaches AI from a both-and perspective rather than fear or hype. Many sensitive, spiritually oriented women have been conditioned to think in either-or terms: strategy or intuition, technology or authenticity, structure or flow. This mindset creates unnecessary limitations. A both-and approach allows technology and sensitivity to coexist.

In business, this balance mirrors the integration of structure and creativity. AI does not need to override intuition or replace human voice. Used consciously, it can support clarity, organization, and sustainability while leaving meaning and resonance intact.

Currently, the online business landscape is becoming polarized around AI. Some reject it entirely, while others use it without discernment, losing their authentic voice. Both extremes miss the deeper opportunity. Studies show women are falling behind in AI adoption, increasing the risk of being left out of emerging pathways for visibility and growth.

AI is not just a content-generation tool. It supports two critical needs for sensitive solopreneurs: reducing exhaustion and helping right-fit clients find them more easily. As more people turn to AI tools to privately explore their challenges, these platforms increasingly guide users toward trusted resources.

This represents a major shift away from constant social media activity toward more passive forms of marketing. Long-form content such as podcasts, blogs, and books can now surface more readily through AI-driven searches, offering greater longevity and relevance.

The first recommended use of AI is as a collaborative partner in content creation. When messaging is rooted in soul-level clarity and aligned with client needs, AI can assist in drafting, refining, and organizing content without depleting energy. This partnership can reduce isolation, mental fatigue, and time pressure.

The second use is positioning work to be discoverable through AI. Clear, consistent explanations of who you are, how you help, and what makes your work distinct allow AI systems to understand and recommend your offerings accurately. This reduces reliance on short-lived social media content and supports a more spacious business rhythm.

A practical reflection offered is to identify the exact question an ideal client might ask when seeking support. Entering that question into an AI tool can reveal whether your work appears as a resource. If not, it provides valuable information about how your messaging may need to evolve.

This moment in time offers sensitive women an opportunity to build businesses that honor their energy, values, and depth while embracing tools that make work easier. AI does not require choosing between integrity and effectiveness. A both-and path is available—one that supports sustainability, authenticity, and meaningful impact.

The post #251 How AI Helps Sensitive Women Solopreneurs Work Less and Attract More Clients (without Social Media) appeared first on saraavantstover.com.

This episode explores what it means to lead a slow business and why this approach is becoming central to how the work is structured and lived. It is for women business owners who value sustainability, presence, and alignment over constant output and urgency. The conversation examines how slowing down can support creativity, congruence, client relationships, and a calmer way of leading.

In this episode, we explore:

• What slow business means and how it differs from hustle-based business culture
• The relationship between pace, creativity, and sustainability
• How slowing down supports congruence and values-based decision-making
• The impact of spaciousness on client relationships and depth of work
• Why freedom and calm leadership require intentional design

Key takeaways

• Sustainable creativity arises from space and presence, not constant output
• Congruence is an ongoing practice that requires time and listening
• Depth of presence matters more than quantity of availability
• Calm, steady leadership depends on nervous system regulation
• A business can be designed to serve life rather than consume it

Resources mentioned

• Introductory workshop: How to Create a Simple, Sacred, Self-Led Business
• Episode 247: Why I’m Slowing Down
• Episode 248: The Sensitive Woman’s Guide to Planning Your Business in 2026
• Episode 249: Why I Let Go of the Membership Model (and What I’m Doing Instead)

Episode FAQs

What does “slow business” mean in this context?
Slow business refers to an approach that prioritizes sustainability, presence, and alignment over constant productivity, urgency, and growth for its own sake.

Is slow business about doing less or being less committed?
No. It is about being more intentional and present, not less engaged or impactful. Commitment remains, but it is guided by values and capacity.

Who is this perspective most helpful for?
This approach is particularly supportive for women business owners who are sensitive, spiritually oriented, or feeling depleted by hustle-based models.

How does slowing down affect client relationships?
Slowing down supports deeper presence, better listening, and trust in the natural pace of change, which can strengthen relationships and outcomes.

Does slow business mean avoiding structure or responsibility?
No. Structure and responsibility still matter. The difference is choosing them consciously rather than out of obligation or fear.

Read the Full Transcript

We moved into our new home in Bordeaux at the beginning of January. After several months of being quite transient, it feels nourishing to put down roots again in a space that feels good. Creating this physical space has also created more space in my business, which is what I want to talk about today.

Before taking a break, I was offering what I called the season of slow business. Slow business is similar to the slow living and slow food movements. It prioritizes sustainability over hustle, soul listening over obligation, and spaciousness over constant productivity.

I had planned to finish a five-part series, but in early November I realized I didn’t just want to talk about slow business. I wanted to live it. I paused, simplified, and created space for a new way to emerge instead of pushing through a self-imposed deadline. This was a significant decision for me, as I’m someone who follows through. But this is the kind of leadership I want to practice now.

I’ve spent much of my life being hyper-responsible and over-functioning. While this can be a strength, it can also become a liability. I’ve done many things out of obligation or fear of letting others down. I’ve learned to set boundaries and honor my needs, and I’m continuing to deepen that practice. If something doesn’t feel good or aligned, I’m choosing not to do it. This isn’t about being unreliable. It’s about honesty and leading from authenticity rather than productivity as a way to earn worth.

Since moving to France, I’ve been reflecting more deeply on how I want to live. A quote from Annie Dillard keeps returning to me: how we live our days is how we live our lives. The small, ordinary moments create the substance of our lives. Being outside my home culture has helped me see old patterns of constant doing and time-filling that don’t match the life I value.

My intention for 2026 is a slower, more intentional, soul-led life and business. Not slower as in less committed or impactful, but slower as in more present, spacious, and alive. This isn’t about theory or trends. It’s about lived experience.

When we left our home last year, I evaluated every physical item I owned and chose what to keep intentionally. Living more minimally has been grounding. I’m now doing the same in my business—reviewing my calendar, systems, offers, and storage, and asking what wants to stay, evolve, or go.

We can build a life around what we love, or we can keep tolerating what drains us. These are different paths. I’m choosing to build around what I love. This podcast is continuing, with a simpler rhythm and shorter episodes. I want these conversations to feel like sitting with a friend, not consuming content to keep up.

There’s a strong cultural pull to conform—to produce constantly and prove ourselves. I believe we need more honest conversations about how to be impactful and successful without operating that way. This isn’t a new conversation for me, but the feminine journey is a spiral. We return to themes again and again with more wisdom and lived experience.

Today’s teaching is about the five benefits of leading a slow business.

The first benefit is sustainable creativity. When we hustle and constantly produce, creativity becomes forced and transactional. Slow business allows creativity to arise organically, from overflow rather than depletion.

The second benefit is soul congruence. Congruence is practiced day by day. It requires space to listen, to check in with values, and to notice how decisions feel in the body. Moving too fast disconnects us from that inner knowing.

The third benefit is deeper client relationships and transformations. Presence matters more than availability. Spaciousness allows for deeper listening, trust in the pace of transformation, and more meaningful connection.

The fourth benefit is leading from a calm, steady place. A business cannot be sustainable when the body is constantly in stress. Slowing down supports grounded decision-making and steadiness that ripples into all areas of life.

The fifth benefit is freedom and spaciousness. Many people start businesses for freedom, yet end up feeling constrained by obligation. Slow business is about designing work that serves life, creating breathing room in schedules and within oneself.

The five benefits are sustainable creativity, soul congruence, deeper client relationships, calm and steady leadership, and freedom and spaciousness. Noticing which of these feels most needed right now can offer insight into what is asking for attention.

A reflection to sit with is this: What is one area of life or business that is asking to be simplified, streamlined, or slowed down? And what might it look like to honor that in the coming weeks?

The post #250 5 Benefits of Leading a Slow Business appeared first on saraavantstover.com.

This episode explores the decision to step away from a long-term membership model after several years of running it. Sara reflects on what worked, what didn’t, and how the model ultimately conflicted with her energy, nervous system, and season of life. The conversation offers a grounded examination of business models as living systems that must align with how a person actually works, not just with industry trends.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why predictable monthly recurring revenue is not always aligned with sustainable leadership
• The energetic and relational challenges of always-open membership containers
• How cohort-based programs create depth, cohesion, and clearer arcs of transformation
• The role of nervous system awareness in business model decisions
• Questions to assess whether a business model fits your current life season

Key takeaways

• A business model is an energetic ecosystem, not just a revenue strategy
• Clear beginnings and endings can support deeper transformation for both leader and participants
• Constant onboarding and renewal cycles carry real emotional and energetic costs
• Self-awareness matters more than industry trends when designing a business
• Sustainable businesses are built around nervous system capacity and life rhythms

Resources mentioned

• Episode 232: What a Cease and Desist Letter Taught Me About Soul-Powered Leadership
• Introductory workshop: How to Create a Simple, Sacred, Self-Led Business

Episode FAQs

1. Why did the membership model stop working in this context?
While the model offered predictable income and accessibility, it required constant energetic holding and lacked clear cycles of rest and completion, which became unsustainable over time.

2. How is a cohort-based program different from a membership?
A cohort-based program has a defined start and end, with participants moving through the experience together. This creates shared context, stronger relationships, and a clearer arc of learning.

3. Is monthly recurring revenue necessary for a sustainable business?
Predictable income can be helpful, but it is not the only path to sustainability. Payment plans, seasonal programs, and hybrid models can also provide stability without always-open containers.

4. How does nervous system awareness relate to business models?
Different models place different demands on attention, availability, and emotional labor. Aligning a model with nervous system capacity helps prevent burnout and supports long-term clarity.

5. Who is most helped by reflecting on business model fit?
This perspective is especially useful for business owners navigating life transitions, changing energy levels, or a desire for deeper, more intentional ways of working.

Read the Full Transcript

This past winter, I made a big decision to fundamentally change my business model by letting go of my membership program. The catalyst for that came in March, when I received a cease and desist letter saying that I needed to relinquish my use of the term Sorcerer, CEO, which was the name of my membership. It was a $10,000-a-year mastermind that I had created about two and a half years earlier.

It started with founding members. At that time, it was called She Serves, and women joined at half price, $5,000 a year. When I created it, I was imagining what I wanted to bring into the world through this program. Everywhere I looked in the online business world, especially among women entrepreneurs, membership models were being positioned as the gold standard. Monthly recurring revenue was treated as the holy grail of business success.

The promise was predictable income, scalability, and a community that people could join at any time. That idea felt aligned with my values of accessibility and ongoing support, as well as my desire for financial stability. Women joined during enrollment periods, committed for at least a year, and had access to mentorship, community, tools, and frameworks.

This wasn’t my first membership. I had created one years earlier, back in 2012, called The Red Tent, a women’s spirituality membership. Over time, I noticed even then that I worked better with containers that had clear beginnings and endings, which eventually led me to transition that membership into a cohort-based program.

So when I launched Sorcerer, CEO, it was an experiment. What I learned, again and more deeply, is that while membership models can scale revenue, a business model is not just a revenue strategy. It’s an energetic ecosystem. It’s a nervous system and life design tool. It needs to match who you are, how you work, and the season of life you’re in.

I ran the membership for two years, and while there were things I loved—the women, the relationships, the growth—I noticed that the depth I knew was possible wasn’t fully happening. The container never closed. People joined at different times, which meant constant onboarding and orientation. The group was always in flux, making cohesion difficult.

Because the membership was always open, I never fully stepped away. Even during time off, I was energetically holding the container. I’ve learned that I need clear cycles of rest and service. I need spaciousness so that when I’m guiding, I can bring my full presence.

The cease and desist letter prompted deeper reflection. It wasn’t just the name that needed to change. It was the structure. That led me to transition the program into what is now Herself, CEO, a five-month cohort-based mentorship with a clear beginning and end.

The difference has been palpable. The container feels more cohesive. Engagement is deeper. Relationships are forming more naturally. This isn’t about membership models being wrong. They’re just not right for me in this season.

The challenges I experienced included the lack of defined start and endpoints, the constant energetic holding, the emotional and administrative labor of renewals, and weakened group cohesion due to staggered entry points.

Through this process, I learned that self-awareness is the compass for business design. I do my best work in structured containers with clear arcs. I thrive when everyone is on the same journey. I also need full periods of rest, not just days off, but weeks or months of being fully unplugged.

I value depth over volume. I’d rather work with fewer women in a more meaningful way. Business models determine how you spend your days and how you feel at the end of them. This decision wasn’t just about numbers; it was about energy, nervous system health, and long-term sustainability.

I may choose a membership model again someday, but for now, cohort-based programs feel aligned. There is grief in letting go, but also relief and a sense of coming home to myself.

To support listeners in discerning what’s right for them, I shared reflection questions around life season, structure versus freedom, work rhythm, desired client relationships, energetic space, scalability versus spaciousness, nervous system needs, onboarding preferences, and whether to build around lifestyle or revenue goals.

There is no one right way to build a business. The most sustainable path is the one aligned with your unique wiring, values, and season of life. Trusting that inner feedback is essential to creating a business that truly supports you.

The post #249 Why I Let Go of the Membership Model (and What I’m Doing Instead) appeared first on saraavantstover.com.

This episode offers a reflective framework for planning a business year in a way that honors sensitivity, energy, and natural rhythms. Sara explores why traditional productivity-driven planning often fails sensitive women and how seasonal awareness and inner alignment can support sustainability. The episode invites a slower, more intentional approach to planning for 2026 that prioritizes nervous system health and long-term vitality.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why spaciousness is essential rather than indulgent for sensitive women in business
• How seasonal rhythms can guide business planning and decision-making
• Signs that a business may be working against your energy
• The concept of “she space” and leaving intentional room for rest and creativity
• The role of internal alignment when creating sustainable business plans

Key takeaways:

• Sensitivity is a source of wisdom, not a limitation, in business planning
• Constant productivity can disconnect women from intuition and creativity
• Nature’s seasonal cycles offer a more sustainable business framework
• Winter is a vital season for visioning, reflection, and deep planning
• A plan only works when all inner parts are considered and supported

Resources mentioned

• Introductory workshop: How to Create a Simple, Sacred, Self-Led Business
  

Episode FAQs

1. What does it mean to plan a business as a sensitive woman?
It means designing work around nervous system needs, energy rhythms, and spaciousness rather than constant productivity and pressure.

2. Why is winter emphasized as a planning season?
Winter supports reflection, visioning, and deep listening. It allows clarity to emerge before action and growth take place.

3. How do seasonal rhythms apply if life doesn’t follow the calendar?
Seasons are a framework, not a rule. They can be adapted to personal energy patterns, life transitions, and changing needs.

4. What is “she space” in business planning?
She space refers to intentionally leaving open time for rest, creativity, and intuition, recognizing that wisdom emerges from being, not just doing.

5. How does inner alignment affect business plans?
Plans succeed when all inner parts feel considered and supported. Ignoring fear, fatigue, or protective instincts often leads to resistance rather than follow-through.

Read the Full Transcript

This fall, I’m offering a five-part series called The Season of Slow Business. It’s inspired by my recent move to France, my upcoming forty-eighth birthday, and this passage through perimenopause. This series arises from a personal call to slow down and let my business evolve in rhythm with my body and the seasons.

Over the coming weeks, we’re exploring what it means to build a business that honors your body’s pace, your nervous system’s intelligence, and the natural rhythms of the earth. In a culture that prizes constant output and growth at any cost, slow business remembers another way—one rooted in feminine wisdom, seasonal living, and trust in timing.

About fifteen years ago, after my first book was published, I was living in Boulder, Colorado. My business was booming, my calendar was full, and from the outside everything looked successful. Inside, I was increasingly exhausted. As a highly sensitive introvert, there wasn’t enough rhythm between doing and being. I remember sharing this with a mentor, expecting advice on efficiency or time management. Instead, she said, “Leave one third of your space empty.”

At first, this felt impossible and irresponsible. But she explained that if every inch of life is filled, there is no room for inspiration, spontaneity, or the divine. That conversation became the foundation for what I later called “she space.” Spaciousness is not a luxury. It’s the path forward. It’s how we prevent burnout, access intuition, and create work that nourishes rather than depletes us.

Many sensitive women find themselves either outwardly successful but inwardly exhausted, or doing everything “right” without seeing results. Common signs that a business is working against your energy include overwhelm and dread, creative blocks, resentment toward your work, and disconnection from joy and intuition.

Highly sensitive nervous systems require different rhythms than hustle-based models provide. This isn’t a weakness. It’s wisdom. When we design businesses around our actual energy instead of forcing ourselves into models designed for others, something begins to shift.

Nature offers a different paradigm. Trees rest. Seeds germinate slowly. Seasons cycle between growth and dormancy. Business can follow the same rhythm. Winter is for dreaming and planning. Spring is for creating and seeding. Summer is for sharing and visibility. Fall is for harvesting, reflecting, and letting go.

Winter, in particular, is often misunderstood. It’s not just for rest; it’s where the most important work happens. The quality of your winter determines the quality of your year. Rushing through it leads to disconnection and burnout. Honoring it allows vision to clarify and ease to follow.

Seasonal planning is not rigid. It’s a framework to adapt. Each woman’s rhythms are different, shaped by life stage, energy patterns, and responsibilities. The question is not whether a plan is correct, but whether it feels sustainable and supportive.

Understanding rhythms alone isn’t enough. Inner alignment is also essential. When only the visionary part of us makes a plan, other parts—those that need rest, safety, or reassurance—may resist. Internal conflict often looks like procrastination or self-sabotage, but it’s actually protective.

By listening to all inner parts and creating plans that meet their needs, business planning becomes more coherent and doable. Sustainable planning combines seasonal awareness, inner alignment, and practical structure. This approach supports wholeness, which is the foundation for meaningful, lasting work.

Spaciousness creates room for insight, creativity, and deeper vision. When businesses are designed to honor sensitivity and natural rhythms, they become places of nourishment rather than depletion.

The post #248 The Sensitive Woman’s Guide to Planning Your Business in 2026 appeared first on saraavantstover.com.

This episode opens a five-part series exploring what it means to slow down in business during a season of personal and professional transition. Sara shares why her body, nervous system, and life circumstances are calling for a gentler pace, and how this shift is rooted in feminine wisdom and seasonal awareness. The conversation invites listeners to reconsider productivity, success, and sustainability through the lens of rhythm rather than pressure.

In this episode, we explore:

• The personal and physiological reasons behind choosing a slower pace of work
• How perimenopause and life transitions invite review, completion, and recalibration
• The concept of slow business as an alternative to hustle-based models
• Why businesses must reflect inner and outer seasonal rhythms
• Practical ways to reduce pace without abandoning depth or integrity

Key takeaways

• Slowing down is a form of self-trust, not a lack of commitment
• Businesses are extensions of lived experience and nervous system capacity
• Seasonal rhythms apply to work just as much as they apply to the body
• Depth, presence, and quality often increase when pace decreases
• Sustainability requires honoring rest, pruning, and release

Resources Mentioned

• Introductory workshop: How to Create a Simple, Sacred, Self-Led Business
  

Episode FAQs

1. What does slowing down in business actually mean?
It means adjusting pace to match nervous system capacity, life season, and inner rhythms rather than maintaining constant output.

2. Why is this conversation connected to perimenopause?
Perimenopause often brings heightened sensitivity and signals that invite deeper listening, completion, and recalibration across all areas of life, including work.

3. Is slow business incompatible with growth or profitability?
No. Slow business prioritizes intentional growth, allowing for impact and income without requiring constant intensity.

4. How do seasonal rhythms apply to modern businesses?
Seasonal rhythms offer a framework for balancing periods of action with periods of rest, reflection, and integration.

5. Who is this perspective most helpful for?
This approach is especially supportive for sensitive, spiritually oriented women navigating transitions, fatigue, or a desire for more sustainable ways of working.

Read the Full Transcript

This fall, I’m offering a five-part series called The Season of Slow Business. It’s inspired by my move to France, my upcoming forty-eighth birthday, and this passage through perimenopause. This series comes from a personal call to slow down, listen more closely, and let my business evolve in rhythm with my body and the seasons.

Over the coming weeks, we’ll explore what it means to build a business that honors your body’s pace, your nervous system’s intelligence, and the natural rhythms of the earth. In a culture that values constant output and growth at any cost, slow business points toward another way—one rooted in feminine wisdom, seasonal living, and trust in timing.

As I prepare to turn forty-eight, I’ve been revisiting memories and noticing how perimenopause invites review and completion. This time feels like a circling back, a reckoning with unresolved parts of the past, and an opportunity to make peace with earlier chapters of womanhood.

One memory that’s resurfaced comes from my early twenties, when I lived in Chiang Mai, Thailand. After years of disordered eating and disrupted cycles, I immersed myself in Ayurveda, yoga, and nature-based healing. One afternoon, during a foot massage, my menstrual cycle returned after years of absence. It felt like a homecoming, a reminder of the body’s deep wisdom when given the right conditions.

That memory is returning now as I notice another kind of return happening in my life. Perimenopause is calling me to listen more deeply. What we often label as symptoms are signals—communications from the body and soul during a profound transition.

This year has been full: preparing for a move, a wedding, relocating to France, and navigating uncertainty around home and place. As autumn arrives, I feel an invitation to move away from the fullness of summer into something quieter and more spacious.

For the past two years, I’ve maintained a weekly publishing rhythm with this podcast and my Sunday Journal. That pace once felt aligned, but this season it began to feel heavy and obligatory rather than inspired. When work starts to feel onerous, it’s a signal to listen.

So for this fall season, I’m experimenting with a lighter publishing schedule—every other week instead of weekly. This is an intentional choice to create more space and to prioritize depth, presence, and nervous system regulation.

I’ve also been reflecting on the slow food movement, which values quality, intention, and connection over speed. Applying these principles to business invites a slow business approach—depth over speed, presence over productivity, seasonal rhythms over constant output, quality over quantity, and relationship over transaction.

Slow business is not about being lazy or avoiding growth. It allows for busy seasons and intensity, but those become conscious choices rather than a constant state. It’s about building businesses that are sustainable for your nervous system, your life season, and your soul’s calling.

Autumn teaches us about harvest and release. Trees let go of their leaves, pulling energy back into their roots. In business, this might look like slowing down, pruning what no longer serves, releasing outdated identities, and allowing grief for what’s ending.

These practices support long-term sustainability. When we release what no longer fits, we create space for what wants to emerge. This requires trust and a willingness to let the field lie fallow.

Some reflection questions to sit with include: Where does my business feel like a “should” right now? What pace feels natural to my nervous system this season? What would I change if I weren’t worried about others’ expectations?

Practical ways to integrate slow business include auditing your content schedule, building in seasonal rhythms, creating fallow periods, focusing on fewer activities with greater presence, listening to bodily signals, and giving yourself permission to change past agreements.

There is no perfect way to slow down. This is an invitation to notice where speed has overridden wisdom and to experiment with choosing spaciousness instead. Sustainable businesses are built on rhythm, rest, and attunement, not constant acceleration.

The post #247 Why I’m Slowing Down appeared first on saraavantstover.com.