The Sneeze

A Kick to the Nuts of My Feet

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2011-04-07T10:39:43-08:00

Oh no, there's a hole in my socks. And not just a hole in any socks, but in my good orange and black "LIVE FREE OR DIE" socks that I kind of think give me super powers. Socks like these...

Holiday Plans?

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2011-04-04T08:52:00-08:00

Sneeze reader and withered grape enthusiast, Cristin, points out that April 30th is National Raisin Day. (4 years later and I still laugh out loud at Raisins For Christmas - 2007.) I suppose we could all play Raisinopoly (which,...

Farewell to a Fish

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2011-03-27T09:58:26-08:00

x23e98E(*YU(d/... Hello eveyb240rd2(*98jsls...!! (Damn, it's been so long I'm even rustier at this than I thought.) HELLO -- WHOEVER IS LEFT OF MY INTERNET FRIENDS! I hope all 3 of you are doing well. What's up? I don't even know...

Facelift

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2010-09-30T08:53:30-08:00

Yesterday was my birthday and it was really making me miss my dad. Don't worry, he's not ill or gone, he just doesn't love his only child enough to make the trip on my most special day. But it's fine....

Me, My Elf and I

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2010-04-24T18:30:07-08:00

I remember once when I was a teenager, I was walking through the woods and I came across an old pair of leather boots. The incredible thing is, when I looked inside of them I found 4 pieces of gold!...

Not Absolutely Never

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2010-02-20T21:50:14-08:00

My friend, Eric, reminded me of a classic and poignant Peanuts comic strip. In it Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty are discussing what "security" is. Charlie Brown says it's when you've been somewhere with your parents and now it's night...

Don't Drink and Pie

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2009-12-26T12:58:19-08:00

On Christmas Eve my father attempted to slice a pumpkin pie. Somewhere during the act, he briefly lost his mind. My friends Dan and Lisa were visiting and Dan documented what occurred with the following post on Twitter: Now, in...

Eddie the Fish

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2009-12-24T09:15:27-08:00

"OH MY GOD!!! I TOUCHED HIM!!! HE'S SO SLIMY!!!!! IT WAS HORRIFYYYYING!!!" While eerily similar to the call my wife made to her mother on our honeymoon, this was actually the scream I heard from my son the other night....

Doodlemonkey Xmas Tree Brain

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2009-12-23T14:49:19-08:00

My buddy, Don, recently created this great little Christmas-themed Tree Brain comic strip over on his site Doodlemonkey. Click here to check it out full-size. Some of you may also remember this awesome digital postcard Don made a few Christmases...

The Horns of Christmas Morn

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2009-12-22T08:13:51-08:00

By request for my friend Kevin at Forgotten NY, here is a special Christmas post from a few years back... My four-year-old didn't ask for much this Christmas. His main request was a little scooter "with a horn so people...

The Opposite Game

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2009-10-31T15:16:18-08:00

Raisins (now somehow 6) learned about opposites in kindergarten this week. Well, he didn't so much learn them as get the basic idea then develop his own system. When I arrived home from work, he grilled me with the...

Bent Objects

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2009-10-25T09:56:01-08:00

Some of you may remember when my friend, Terry Border, created this awesome bent wire sculpture for me a few years back. Not surprisingly, it's called "The Sneeze." I'm happy to report that Terry has completed his first book, "Bent...

Further Thoughts on the Semicolon

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2009-10-18T13:18:16-08:00

In the previous post, Kelly's use of a semicolon was deemed incorrect by several of you. Rachael weighs in with this thought: Dear The Sneeze, While Kelly's use of the semi-colon is technically incorrect in both British and American, the...

Krab Cakes

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2009-10-13T08:32:24-08:00

Kelly writes: Steve, I just finished reading "The Mystery of the Face on the Cake" which had me at the edge of my seat and also had me thankful I read it when you had all three parts finished. It...

The 5-Second Ruling

sneezesteve@aol.com — 2009-10-11T23:24:34-08:00

Ever since the Mythbusters tested the 5-Second Rule (if it's okay to eat something that fell on the floor if you get it within 5 seconds), I decided my buddy and Mythbuster extraordinaire, Adam Savage, would be my go to...