By Alvin Powell
Contributing Writer

America’s “let them cry” attitude toward children may lead to more fears and tears among adults, according to two Harvard Medical School researchers.

Instead of letting infants cry, American parents should keep their babies close, console them when they cry, and bring them to bed with them, where they’ll feel safe, according to Michael L. Commons and Patrice M. Miller, researchers at the Medical School’s Department of Psychiatry.

The pair examined childrearing practices here and in other cultures and say the widespread American practice of putting babies in separate beds — even separate rooms — and not responding quickly to their cries may lead to incidents of post-traumatic stress and panic disorders when these children reach adulthood.

The early stress resulting from separation causes changes in infant brains that makes future adults more susceptible to stress in their lives, say Commons and Miller.
“Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently,” Commons said. “It changes the nervous system so they’re overly sensitive to future trauma.”

The Harvard researchers’ work is unique because it takes a cross-disciplinary approach, examining brain function, emotional learning in infants, and cultural differences, according to Charles R. Figley, director of the Traumatology Institute at Florida State University and editor of The Journal of Traumatology.

“It is very unusual but extremely important to find this kind of interdisciplinary and multidisciplinary research report,” Figley said. “It accounts for cross-cultural differences in children’s emotional response and their ability to cope with stress, including traumatic stress.”

Figley said Commons and Miller’s work illuminates a route of further study and could have implications for everything from parents’ efforts to intellectually stimulate infants to practices such as circumcision.

Commons has been a lecturer and research associate at the Medical School’s Department of Psychiatry since 1987 and is a member of the Department’s Program in Psychiatry and the Law.

Miller has been a research associate at the School’s Program in Psychiatry and the Law since 1994 and an assistant professor of psychology at Salem State College since 1993. She received master’s and doctorate degrees in human development from the Graduate School of Education.

The pair say that American childrearing practices are influenced by fears that children will grow up dependent. But they say that parents are on the wrong track: physical contact and reassurance will make children more secure and better able to form adult relationships when they finally head out on their own.

“We’ve stressed independence so much that it’s having some very negative side effects,” Miller said.

The two gained the spotlight in February when they presented their ideas at the American Association for the Advancement of Science’s annual meeting in Philadelphia.
Commons and Miller, using data Miller had worked on that was compiled by Robert A. LeVine, Roy Edward Larsen Professor of Education and Human Development, contrasted American childrearing practices with those of other cultures, particularly the Gusii people of Kenya. Gusii mothers sleep with their babies and respond rapidly when the baby cries.
“Gusii mothers watching videotapes of U.S. mothers were upset by how long it took these mothers to respond to infant crying,” Commons and Miller said in their paper on the subject.

The way we are brought up colors our entire society, Commons and Miller say. Americans in general don’t like to be touched and pride themselves on independence to the point of isolation, even when undergoing a difficult or stressful time.

Despite the conventional wisdom that babies should learn to be alone, Miller said she believes many parents “cheat,” keeping the baby in the room with them, at least initially. In addition, once the child can crawl around, she believes many find their way into their parents’ room on their own.

American parents shouldn’t worry about this behavior or be afraid to baby their babies, Commons and Miller said. Parents should feel free to sleep with their infant children, to keep their toddlers nearby, perhaps on a mattress in the same room, and to comfort a baby when it cries.

“There are ways to grow up and be independent without putting babies through this trauma,” Commons said. “My advice is to keep the kids secure so they can grow up and take some risks.”

Besides fears of dependence, the pair said other factors have helped form our childrearing practices, including fears that children would interfere with sex if they shared their parents’ room and doctors’ concerns that a baby would be injured by a parent rolling on it if the parent and baby shared the bed. Additionally, the nation’s growing wealth has helped the trend toward separation by giving families the means to buy larger homes with separate rooms for children.

The result, Commons and Miller said, is a nation that doesn’t like caring for its own children, a violent nation marked by loose, nonphysical relationships.

“I think there’s a real resistance in this culture to caring for children,” Commons said. But “punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people.”

An attack on freedom of speech and information, Kansas House Bill 2121 specifies that dairy products promoted as being free of Recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone, rBHG , contain a disclaimer stating that there are no significant differences between milk from cows injected with rBGH and milk from cows that are rBGH free.  This misleading “no differences” statement is based on an 18-year-old FDA study which subsequent scientific studies have proven errant as there are significant differences which may affect human health.

I share the opinion of the Consumers Union that “HB 2121 puts unnecessary obstacles in the way of consumers getting the information they want, restricts free speech rights of dairies and processors, and interferes with the smooth functioning of free markets.”

According to the Organic Valley dairy co-op,  “This Kansas bill has a national impact because national and regional brands will be forced to either produce separate labels, or simply stop labeling milk without the hormone as rBGH-free. What’s more, if the labeling rule stands in Kansas it can happen in other states too.”

Please take a moment to tell Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius, President Obama’s nominee for Secretary of Health and Human Services, that you want to know what is in your milk.  Urge her to veto Kansas HB 2121 and protect consumers’ right to know as her final act as Governor before heading to Washington!

Governor Sebelius could sign as soon as Thursday (April 16), so contact her today!

Send a Message at the Center for Food Safety:
http://ga3.org/campaign/KSrBGHSebelius

Or sign the petition at Food & Water Watch:
http://action.foodandwaterwatch.org/t/5915/petition.jsp?petition_KEY=1907

Learn more about rBHG and labels

Most of us are not as naive, or stubborn as that young man’s mother.  Most of us understand that ingesting harmful pesticides, widely used in farming, are harmful to us, particularly over the long run having a cumulative effect.  And, most of us would not knowingly eat or give our children toxic chemicals to ingest (ask any parent who has ever child-proofed their home).  So, why are we still buying produce from our local supermarket instead of an organic farm or whole food grocery?   Simply put, for most families, it is just too expensive to buy organic.

So, what is a parent to do? 

As more information about the subject of harmful pesticides in our food supply becomes available, researchers are beginning to find that there are certain fruits and vegetables that are particularly susceptible to high levels of chemical residuals, namely, fruits and veg with soft, permeable skin.

The Environmental Working Group has come up with a list of top 12 fruits and vegetables that are best bought organic.   EWG research has found that people who eat the 12 most contaminated fruits and vegetables consume an average of 10 pesticides a day. Those who eat the 15 least contaminated conventionally-grown fruits and vegetables ingest fewer than 2 pesticides daily.   Email us at info@theslingshoppe.com with “Organic Guide” in the subject heading for your downloadable copy of the EWG Shopper’s Guide to pesticides.  If you can only afford to buy some organic produce, make sure it is these 12. 

Another great way to save money and still eat organic is to buy through a food co-op.  Generally, local farmers will give bulk discounts to these groups, which could represent significant savings for members.   If you live in the Delaware or New Jersey area and you would like more information about our local Organic Produce Co-Op, shoot us an email (info@theslingshoppe.com) or find us on Facebook .

To your health!

In Dayton, children under age 4 years or 40 pounds must be in an approved carseat or child booster seat.  She was driving her other children to school at the time of the incident.

In her own defense, Compton said, “If my child is hungry, I am going to feed it.”

Are you kidding me?

Some things should go without saying, but apparently, this isn’t one of them.

As a breastfeeding mother of four, ages 8 months to 14 years, I am no stranger to the challenges of being the soccer mom, mall shuttle service and school chauffeur,  all while having a hungry, crying infant in a carseat.  But for heaven’s sake, I do know how to pull the car over!

Sex opens up many pathways of communication between couples. And don’t forget: women love to be reassured and seduced, especially when they are feeling bloated and uneasy about their bodies. It’s the fact that you love her in spite of the facts of her appearance which is truly touching for a woman.

Here are a few strategies to make your pregnant wife fall in love with you again:

* Dinner with flowers: Nothing says you love your woman more than an average pizza and apple pie served by a waiter. If you can order out from your pregnant wife’s favorite restaurant, that will be bliss itself. Consider this a major part of the foreplay. On the other hand, if eating out is a constant thing for you, actually making her dinner yourself may be the required angle here. Romance is done around the dinner table, so figure out what will be the big mood changer for your pregnant wife.

* Spice it up: In case you’re wondering, here’s what you do with the flowers. The idea is to lay out your bedroom with petals and flowers, put on some Marvin Gaye, and do a little dance-who knows? Your pregnant wife might appreciate the comical element.

* The main course: Presuming that you have already allayed her fears about sex, you may now proceed with the main course. Lay your pregnant wife on her back gently and caress her with the tip of your fingers. A massage is not a bad idea provided it doesn’t put her to sleep.

* The right stuff: Use a love-making position that is comfortable, one that doesn’t put pressure on her abdomen. Be gentle and loving.

* Plan B: If your pregnant wife is uncomfortable with regular intercourse (because of fears for the baby or other discomfort), you might hint at oral sex (for her, not you, dummy. You just have to hope an even trade might be part of the bargain.)

Things to avoid

* Don’t get hasty. Work up to things slowly. Don’t be inconsistent with your responses to her body. This will be a sure turn off for your wife, pregnant or not.

* Don’t try too hard. If she’s been suffering from cramps and aches, it’s best to just give her a massage and tuck her into bed. Believe us when we say you will get no points for being whiny with a pregnant wife about your rotten sex life.

* Don’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. It’s always your pregnant wife’s prerogative to say “no.”

* Avoid the missionary position when you make love since this can put too much pressure on your pregnant wife’s stomach.

How to Keep Love Alive During Pregnancy

Author: Paul

Paul Banas is a founder of GreatDad.com

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_787024_61.html

The importance of secure attachment bonds in childhood

Author: Dr Bobby Sura

Attachment may be described as a bond or affectional tie between a child and it’s primary caregiver, characterised by a loving and enduring relationship. All theories of infant social and emotional development emphasise the child’s relationship to parents and other caregivers. One reason for this emphasis is the assumption that an attachment between child and caregiver is important for providing a foundation of emotional security for the child, and forms a basis for the parent’s later influences on the child.

A prominent figure in the study of attachment behaviours is Mary Ainsworth. Using a technique known as the strange situation, Ainsworth was able to identify 3 different patterns of attachment that emerge in children at around 8 months of age. She felt all children could be classified into one of these three attachment patters;

a)secure attachment
b)insecure-resistant attachment
c)insecure-avoidant attachment.

It is becoming increasingly known that securely attached infants tend to be more socially competent than insecurely attached infants. Studies show that children classified as securely attached are rated by teachers as having enhanced popularity and social skills. They also seem to be less prone to bullying from other children. Why might this be so ?

Enhanced social competence may be explained by findings that secure attachment is associated with higher self-esteem, autonomy and empathy towards others. Studies show that securely attached infants have a healthy sense of self, in that they tend to acknowledge mostly positive traits about themselves, whilst also being aware of their imperfections. On the other hand, insecurely attached infants tend towards an excessively negative or positive view of themselves (depending on the type of insecure attachment). It is probable that the qualities linked with secure attachment make children more likeable, popular and attractive, leading to better friendship networks..

Significantly, socially competent and self-confident individuals are likely to make better relationships with others, whilst also mingling with peers of similar social standing. This means that secure attachment in early infancy seems to lead to a greater quality and quantity of social experience, leading to a continuously progressive social development through childhood and adolescent years. This is an ongoing cycle of events, appearing to have it’s origins in early attachment formation.

The question should be raised - how does this social competence and heightened self esteem develop ? Under Piagetian thought, a child gains knowledge by acting upon the environment - the more experience that a child can gain, the more learning that occurs. Research findings indicate that secure attachment is associated with greater exploratory behaviour in infancy. For example, when kindergarten aged children are placed in cognitively challenging situations, those who are classified as being securely attached display more sophisticated make believe play and greater persistence and enthusiasm on problem solving tasks at 2 years of age. In contrast, insecurely attached infants do not show such behaviours. Secure attachments are more likely to lead to curiosity about the environment, and a heightened willingness to explore. John Bowlby would describe this phenomenon as the product of a ‘secure base’, which a child can leave and move away from, knowing it will be there on his or her return. Children who have a secure base (i.e. they have trust and a sense of security in the availability of their parents) tend to have a secure attachment, and are less likely to display clingy, anxious behaviour when in a social setting.

It is also known that securely attached individuals display greater co-operation with their parents. Such behaviour may have beneficial effects upon social development since these infants are better likely to listen and interact with their parents, leading to enhanced learning and gaining of experience from them. On the other hand, an insecurely attached child who is uncooperative may miss out on parental efforts to teach or help them, and ultimately may even discourage the parents from trying to assist the child.

Perhaps the best way to understand the importance of attachment formation would be to observe the effects where it has been hampered or obstructed. There are a number of studies showing the detrimental effects of attachment figure deprivation on social development - rhesus monkeys have been isolated at birth and deprived of all social and environmental stimulation. When placed in free play sessions with others, these monkeys display severe developmental deficits and withdrawal.

Similar research with human infants has focused on the developmental outcomes of institutionalisation (for example, in Romanian orphanages). Such children have been observed to be more withdrawn, rarely approach adults or seek reassurance if in distress. These children also tend to be more attention seeking and consequently more disruptive in school than children reared in home environments. Even ‘good’ institutional rearing at an early age is associated with behavioural problems in childhood and personality problems in adulthood. The lack of a dependable attachment figure seems to unsettle these children, in the formative phase of their personality development.

There is a growing amount of research to suggest that insecurely attached individuals can benefit from early therapy and social care. The introduction of affectionate and responsive caregivers has been shown to have positive developmental effects upon children previously devoid of a secure attachment. Parenting courses which have an emotional and relationship focus, can also help. Changes in the emotional and physical environment, and consistent messages of acceptance, can help a child move towards a more secure sense of self and others. Improvements in family circumstances and in parent child relationships (e.g. reduction in family stress, increase in social support) can to some degree alter the quality of attachments that have been formed.

Children who have suffered neglect, or other forms of childhood abuse, are at risk of being insecurely attached. Sometimes, parental mental health problems (including drug and substance misuse during and after pregnancy) are important precipitating factors. At other times, it may simply be a result of family stress, domestic violence and a lack of adequate social support for the parents. Clearly, it is in all our interests to support children and families to flourish in secure, safe and healthy environments. There are a number of support services in both the voluntary and statutory sectors, working hard to make this aspiration a reality. Please contact me, or visit my website, for further details.

Dr Bobby Sura
Consultant Clinical Psychologist
Systemic Family Therapist
www.clinicalpsychologydirect.com

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_551389_40.html

About the Author: Dr Bobby Sura is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist, specialising in Child and Adolescent Mental Health. He works both in the public (NHS) and private sector, being the proprietor of Clinical Psychology Direct.

Dr Sura is Chartered with the British Psychological Society (BPS) and is also registered with the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) and Association of Family Therapy (AFT).

Dr Sura has particular expertise in family and relationship problems, including helping children after potentially traumatising events such as bereavement or the separation of their parents. Dr Sura can assist with medico-legal reports (for court processes) and also matters of differential diagnosis (including Attachment Disorder, ADHD and Autistic Spectrum Disorders). He can also assist with anxiety, phobia, behavioural and mood disorders in childhood and adolescence.

Visit www.clinicalpsychologydirect.com, to explore the range of innovative treatment and assessment options Dr Sura offers, using online and traditional means.

http://www.clinicalpsychologydirect.com

First let’s define it:

An infant between 2 weeks and 4 months of age with bouts of crying that occur 3 times a week for greater than 3 hours a day and lasting 3 weeks.
 
Now, some baby colic symptoms:

• Excessive crying and the appearance of being in pain.
• Crying may be sudden and last for greater than 15 minutes.
• Difficulty consoling infant.
• Poor sleeper.
• Acts like they are starving, will then suck vigorously for a few seconds, only to spit the nipple out and scream.
• Passes a lot of gas.

Colic is hard to pin-point and difficult to treat with western medicine. I know how difficult colic in an infant can be. I am not a medical doctor and I cannot cure colic. I am a mother of two and have dealt with a majority of the issues I cover in my parenting articles. I don’t know if your baby has what is termed “colic”. But I know you are concerned about your baby and I want to give you some ideas, mother to mother (or father!).

You’re imagination is a beautiful place, let’s start there:

Indigenous, primitive, native, hunter-gatherer societies. Conjure up a picture. Do you see native peoples living in huts, tepees, or igloos, clad in loin-cloths, beads, animal furs? Naked children running around? Women grinding wheat, carrying water, weaving, beading, nursing, working, laughing?

Men hunting, crouched low, noiseless, making their way through the forest, jungle, across the plain or ice; intent upon providing the next meal for their families? I am not trying to be stereotypical, this is what I see and it is a peaceful, beautiful picture to me.

What do you hear? Chatter in a different language, children laughing, feet stomping, singing, shouts of glee over the successful hunt?

Do you hear crying? Do you hear unmanageable crying? I don’t think you do. Why not? I think it is because you know, from eons of history running through your veins that it wasn’t happening. Look again at your scene. There are babies in the scene and they are being worn by their mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunties and the like in all sorts of infant carriers; baby slings, wraps, pouches, cradle boards.
Some are awake, some are asleep.

They are living and observing contently and alertly the world in which they will soon play an integral part. The people are wearing their babies and responding to them because that is what their instincts tell them to do. They feel, just like you do, that ache in their chest when a baby cries. And they haven’t been conditioned by their society to ignore it. They aren’t being told such things as:

• Make your baby understand who is boss.
• Your baby is manipulating you if you go to her every time she cries.
• If your baby is fed and dry there is nothing she really needs.

Human touch is vital to development and contentment. Have you ever fallen in love? What did it feel like when your lover touched you, just your hand, or held you tight and close? It felt like everything was right in the world. Like you never wanted it to end. Hence the phrase “freeze a moment in time.”

The environment of the womb was perfect. Your baby was constantly hearing you, smelling you and all of her needs were provided for instantly. Newborns have no sense of time or hope for that matter. They live in a constant state of now. When you are holding your baby all is right in the world for her. When she is alone, wrapped in a blanket in a plastic shell she has no concept of you returning.

Wearing your baby can prevent unmanageable crying. When your baby is that close to your body, and you are so in tune with her she has no need to cry.

As I said before, colic is hard to diagnose, but there are a lot of things you can do to help your baby if she is experiencing symptoms.

1. Wear your baby in a baby sling, motion seems to help and it’s a lot easier than driving around in the car all night.
2. Allow your baby to eat or just suckle at the breast.
3. If you are breastfeeding look at your diet, are you eating something that might be bothering your baby’s tummy?
4. If you are bottle feeding, might your baby have a problem with the formula?
5. Rub baby’s tummy or back.
6. Take a bath together; warm water can calm you and baby.

All in all – know that your baby wants to be with you. Embrace the awesome position you hold in his life. Get yourself a baby sling or another carrier (baby slings are my favorite). They are comfortable, versatile, beautiful and most times affordable.

You have the most awesome job on earth, the rearing of the next generation. Help create peace in the world. Start in your home!

Colic, Crying & Babywearing

Author: Emmy Bill

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_131068_40.html

It’s a sad commentary on a society that has become so perverse that schools, rather than parents, teach kids about sex and hand out condoms, but we are uncomfortable at the sight of a woman using her breasts in the way that nature intended:  to feed her baby.

So the story goes, this lady would like an apology from Denny’s Restaurant in general and this manager in particular for essentially discriminating against her civil liberties as a nursing mom.  Breastfeeding in public is legal in all 50 states and laws allowing for breastfeeding in public superesede any indecent exposure laws.  Nonetheless, this manager felt it was the right thing to do to ask her to cover up or leave.

This isn’t the first nursing incident to garner national attention. In 2007, a woman was asked to cover her baby with a blanket after another customer complained in an Applebee’s restaurant. Almost 2,000 nursing moms joined in a national nurse-in after Applebees refused to apologize, instead offering to carry blankets in their restaurants so nursing moms could cover up.

And the most unintentional ironic breastfeeding dispute? In 2006, A women who sat down in Victoria’s Secret to nurse her baby was told to move to a restroom. Why? “because the sight of her breasts might offend a customer”.

Since an apology from Denny’s for this latest incident has yet to be forthcoming, nursing mothers across the U.S. are organizing a nurse-in on Sunday, February 22, 2009 at 1:00 p.m.

All interested moms simply need to show up at their local Denny’s at this time and breastfeed!

So it seems that modern parents are beginning to embrace the wisdom of ancient times. As tightly-knit communities wane in favor of loosely-knit networks, we are more connected and yet more alone. The paradox of today’s society is that it is both easier and more difficult than ever to be a successful parent. There is more information available to parents than at any time in history. Yet, information comes at a price: if not careful, it can take the place of instinct. In the end, the best approach for parents is to read, research, and understand available parenting methods and then trust themselves and their babies to do what is best.  Certainly, there is an abundance of research to validify the many co-sleeping benefits.