This is the song that plays once you’ve heard every song.

This is what happens after you have nothing left to feel.

Yesterday I closed my eyes before you,

expecting me to perform a test of strength.

A shout stripped me of my zen.

“Good job, daddy.”

Yet I’m always stymied.

Even if things go smoothly, something scuttles my focus.

Calls me back to my duties.

And, it has happened.

The webbed hand drags me down.

Leave me alone.

Figure it out.

I’m doing something important.

But all I do is hiccup.

Leave nothing behind.

Sand through an hourglass.

Now, be grateful.

Try to.

All I can write about is what’s happening around me.

My father diagnosed me with a constant need to write.

Which means all I can think about every second of the day is writing.

Yet I don’t write anything much, just notes that feel promising.

It’s the feeling that counts.

A minute ago I was completing my thirty minute walk on the manual treadmill in the garage wearing a water backpack packed with ~twenty pounds of weight.

Reading an early Murakami short novel.

Pinball, 1973.

I came across this passage:

“On any given day, something can come along and steal our hearts. It may be any old thing: a rosebud, a lost cap, a favorite sweater from childhood, an old Gene Pitney record. A miscellany of trivia with no home to call their own. Lingering for two or three days, that something soon disappears, returning to the darkness. There are wells, deep wells, dug in our hearts. Birds fly over them.”

I stopped walking on the treadmill then began walking more vigorously than before.

Hot Chip played from my silver iPod.

Boy From School.

I heard it the night before last night suddenly while picking up celery from Whole Foods for my son’s art class.

The song carried me through the aisles.

I sang quietly aloud.

Whole Foods chorused with something deep inside me.

My wife texted about popcorn.

If you’re still at Whole Foods.

Baby blue Hurley boardshorts.

In what city did I lose you?

Both are Norwegian writers and, what is more, Knausgaard was Fosse’s student.

Then, not too long ago, I hear Fosse mentioned again, this time as winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature 2023.

The Academy chose him “for his innovative plays and prose which give voice to the unsayable.”

Being just another dutiful reader, I look into Fosse’s opus and am drawn to his “Septology” because it is written in mostly block paragraphs and is one run-on sentence.

I immediately place a hold on “The Other Name” — Books I and II of his “Septology” — and am excited to receive the “Pickup by” notification a week or so later.

The prose is straightforward with a limited palette of mostly primary colors mixed, at times, to make secondary tones.

That is to say, there is a lot of repetition in the work, main themes in an interior monologue introduced then revisited over and over with a few episodes that deviate from these main themes and some dialogue peppered throughout.

The work happens over the course of two days.

Probably the most innovative section, in my opinion, of course, happens when the narrator is on the edge of drifting off to sleep between the two days.

If it’s possible for prose to capture with words that interstitial space between the hum of consciousness and the blankness of deep sleep, Fosse succeeds.

Another “device” Fosse employs with success happens by virtue of filling so much of the work using a limited palette to paint the monotony of the quotidian over and over again, so that when he does deviate into episodes from the narrator’s memory, they are filled with such light that they leave phantom images on the back of your eyelids.

Overall, I enjoyed the book.

Although I have read more powerful books by Nobel prizewinners, and many more books in general that have kept my attention enthralled for more sustained periods — in “The Other Name” I drifted off to sleep more than a few times, and always straight to the blankness of deep sleep — I feel the work does faithfully render the stoic and, at the same time, emotional life of a deeply flawed artist seeking to paint God’s light.

And now I leave you with Fosse’s Banquet Speech:

Your Majesties
Your Royal Highnesses
Excellences
Esteemed Laureates
Ladies and gentlemen

Many years ago, I saw myself – not in a dream, or in a daydream, more like in a vision – walking along the side of a road leading to the centre of a town.

When I saw myself there, some day in the future, I saw myself walking as someone who had received the Nobel Prize in Literature.

Because of this vision – to be honest with you, I felt rather sure that I one day would be standing here.

Thank you to the Nobel Foundation for organizing everything so well.

Thank you to the Swedish Academy for awarding me the Nobel Prize in Literature.

And thanks be to God.

That’s not to say I haven’t tried pulling something out of nowhere.

Already I fear my writerly gear is stuck again.

WD-40 may do the trick.

There.

I drank some.

Just a squirt to get this lubricated, take away the squeak.

The ambulance is on the way.

Why not keep writing until it arrives?

The interior slats of the bi-fold door that conceals the air handler on the third floor of our home, which we recently moved into, is replete with every specimen of dust and mold.

And so today I have a project, namely, clean the interior and exterior slats, but how?

A vacuum should do the trick.

I carry the cordless vacuum up to the third floor and use a combination of both attachments to try and suck off all the dust and mold.

What I think must be white mold falls silently onto the cherry wood floor.

I vacuum the Florida snow and feel better as the transparent cylinder fills with dust and mold.

But it’s not nearly enough, so much dust and mold clings to the slats, unmoved yet disturbed.

I go downstairs to grab a rag and enzyme cleaner because we have no bleach.

On the way back up, I decide to look into buying a new door all together.

That’s when I discover the name for this particular style of door, namely, bi-fold.

A new one would set me back $136 plus tax.

I watch a video on how to replace the bi-fold door.

Seems easy enough since I don’t have to install any hardware, just take out the dusty and moldy one and replace it with a pristine replica.

I don’t want to go at it with the rag and enzyme cleaner, thinking such brutality would only free the entourage of dust and mold into the air of our home, making my 3-year-old’s sudden onset of runny nose and coughing and sneezing worse.

It all started when we brought that Christmas tree into our home, I think.

Yes, I think, I will buy a new bi-fold door, but before I do that I might as well try to take off this contaminated bi-fold door to see if I will be able to put a new one in its place.

I coil the spring on one side, allowing the door to release from its top railing, then lift up just as the video says to do and the door pops off the bottom guide.

With the 80″ x 36″ bi-fold door in my hands I have what very well could be unfounded hope in getting it clean enough for a second life.

Refurbishment.

I carry it carefully onto the third-floor balcony, which faces east toward the Atlantic ocean.

Sunlight warms my skin.

Clouds scuttle across the sky.

Everything is blue and white above me, heaven is so clean on clear days.

I take off my shirt, go back downstairs to fetch my sunglasses, then reemerge onto the balcony, where the wind invigorates my entire body, beginning with my nostrils, one of the main doors into my sanctuary.

I find a pail with dirty rainwater, which I carry to the edge of the balcony and toss to the bottom.

A second later the rainwater splashes onto the pebbles and soil.

I see a bright green iguana on the top of a tall palm tree within arm’s reach.

The iguana shuffles from anxiety, stirring the fronds.

I fill the bucket and toss water onto the iguana.

It decides to plummet 40 feet into our neighbor’s garden then sprints off into the thick vegetation.

I squirt some antibacterial soap into the pail, fill it with water, then use a sponge bigger than my hands to begin wiping down the slats.

The sun beats on my back, the wind refreshes.

I get between each slat, pleasantly surprised at the bi-fold door’s return to white.

What must be black mold on the interior side of one of the higher slats and on the side of the bi-fold door washes off with a vigorous scrub.

Elbow grease.

WD-40 oozing down my throat into my small intestine.

I turn on the spigot to the high-pressure hose.

A collated beam of water percusses against the bottom of the bi-fold door then works its way up each slat.

Mist globules cling to my torso hairs.

A bird flies southwest maybe 4 feet above my head.

I carefully turn the bi-fold door over to the exterior side, begin the same process.

Dunk porous sponge in soapy water.

Clean slat.

Clean between slat.

Clean slat.

Clean between slat.

Dunk again.

At my best I’m robotic.

Emotionless, algorithmic, methodical, present.

I trigger the pressurized hose and watch water splatter off the white wood.

Water cascades off the balcony, sliding down the black awning above the master bedroom window on the second floor before smacking the brick pavers in our courtyard.

I sweep residual water off then use a cloth to dry each side of the bi-fold door before leaning it at a 45 degree angle against the railing.

Sunlight beats against whatever mold remains, scorching the spores into nonexistence, sterilizing the bi-fold door back into a new state.

At least this is what my robotic brain tells me.

I stand in the shade looking at ancient sunlight glisten off the clean surface.

Satisfaction feeling.

My diaphragm drops, allowing my stomach to expand into the open air.

Oxygen binds to hemoglobin.

I leave the bi-fold door outside for further sterilization, go inside only to see my sun-warmed footprints condense on the cherry wood floor.

High-arch supinator.

I disappear.

Across the third floor on the west-facing balcony, the bright green iguana scratches at the sliding glass door.

There is no escape from this confusion as long as the land and the creatures upon it are looked upon as nothing but “factors of production.” They are, of course, factors of production, that is to say, means-to-ends, but this is their secondary, not their primary, nature. Before everything else, they are ends-in-themselves; they are meta-economic, and it is therefore rationally justifiable to say, as a statement of fact, that they are in a certain sense sacred. Man has not made them, and it is irrational for him to treat things that he has not made and cannot make and cannot recreate once he has spoilt them, in the same manner and spirit as he is entitled to treat things of his own making.

The higher animals have an economic value because of their utility; but they have a meta-economic value in themselves. If I have a car, a man-made thing, I might quite legitimately argue that the best way to use it is never to bother about maintenance and simply run it to ruin. I may indeed have calculated that this is the most economical method of use. If the calculation is correct, nobody can criticize me for acting accordingly, for there is nothing sacred about a man-made thing like a car. But if I have an animal — be it only a calf or a hen — a living, sensitive creature, am I allowed to treat it as nothing but a utility? Am I allowed to run it to ruin?

It is no use trying to answer such questions scientifically. They are metaphysical, not scientific, questions. It is a metaphysical error, likely to product the gravest practical consequences, to equate “car” and “animal” on account of their utility, while failing to recognise the most fundamental difference between them, that of “level of being.” An irreligious age looks with amused contempt upon the hallowed statements by which religion helped our forbears to appreciate metaphysical truths. “And the Lord God took man and put him in the Garden of Eden” — not to be idle, but “to dress it and keep it.” “And he also gave man dominion over the fish in the sea and the fowl in the air, and over every living being that moves upon the earth.” When he had made “the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and everything that creepeth upon the earth after his kind,” he saw that it was “good.” But when he saw everything he had made, the entire biosphere, as we say today, “behold, it was very good.” Man, the highest of his creatures, was given “dominion,” not the right to tyrannise, to ruin and exterminate. It is no use talking about the dignity of man without accepting that noblesse oblige. For man to put himself into a wrongful relationship with animals, and particularly those long domesticated by him, has always, in all traditions, been considered a horrible and infinitely dangerous thing to do. There have been no sages or holy men in our or in anybody else’s history who were cruel to animals or who looked upon them as nothing but utilities, and innumerable are the legends and stories which link sanctity as well as happiness with a loving kindness towards lower creation.

It is interesting to note that modern man is being told, in the name of science, that he is really nothing but a naked ape or even an accidental collocation of atoms. “Now we can define man,” says Professor Joshua Lederberg. “Genotypically at least, he is six feet of a particular molecular sequence of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen and phosphorus atoms.” As modern man thinks so” humbly” of himself, he thinks even more “humbly” of the animals which serve his needs: and treats them as if they were machines. Other, less sophisticated — or is it less depraved? — people take a different attitude. As H. Fielding Hall reported from Burma:

To him [the Burmese] men are men, and animal are animals, and men are far the higher. But he does not deduce from this that man’s superiority gives him permission to ill-treat or kill animals. It is just the reverse. It is because man is so much higher than the animal that he can and must observe towards animals the very greatest care, feel for them the very greatest compassion, be good to them in every way he can. The Burmese’s motto should be noblesse oblige. He knows the meaning, if he knows not the words.

In Proverbs we read that the just man takes care of his beast, but the heart of the wicked is merciless, and St. Thomas Aquinas wrote: “It is evident that if a man practices a compassionate affection for animals, he is all the more disposed to feel compassion for his fellowmen.” No one ever raised the question of whether they could afford to live in accordance with these convictions. At the level of values, of ends-in-themselves, there is no question of “affording.”

Excerpt from Small is Beautiful: Economics as if People Mattered by E.F. Schumacher

Subsidies are financial grants distributed by the government to private institutions and public entities to drive down costs, increase economic activity, and make certain industries more economically viable. Over 700 billion dollars (that’s more than a million dollars per minute) is given to farmers to help subsidize food; yet, less than 1% of that money is used to help the environment, while the majority of it goes to subsidize industries that promote deforestation and increased pollution (Carrington, 2019). Much of this money is used for direct meat production or for growing corn and soybean crops, which are primarily used for animal feed. In the US, 27% of crop calories are consumed directly while 67% is used to feed animals. Calorically, animals are prohibitively expensive as food–a hundred calories of grain produces as little as three calories of beef (Stevenson, 2015). According to the UK’s Department for Environment, Food, and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), 90% of the annual profits of farmers who graze livestock come from subsidies, as compared to the 10% for fruit farmers (Ed, 2020). This wide disparity leads to drastically higher prices for fruits and vegetables compared to meat in stores and restaurants.

In the US, $38 billion is spent on subsidizing meat (although the real number between crop, meat, dairy, business, and farmer subsidies may be in the hundreds of billions), while only 0.04%, or $17 million of that, is spent on subsidizing fruits and vegetables (Joshi et al., 2015). And while these agricultural subsidies help make food cheaper, there is a tradeoff. In 2018 and 2019, President Trump gave an additional $30 billion in subsidies, yet cut the funding for food stamps and SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) by $5 billion around the same time (Ed, 2020). While many who advocate for meat production cite its low cost for low-income households, it is an expensive and inefficient industry propped up by public taxpayer money. Experts state that the true cost of a hamburger may be closer to $40 and a steak at a restaurant would cost $200 without these subsidies (Joshi et al., 2015). [source]

In physics, what’s called Escape Velocity
Is necessary for leaving earth’s gravity.

My dying mother asked for ostrich-skin boots,
Proper footwear in Texas for making tracks.

My father escaped in a P-51. An old friend told us
Of waking, in tears, from a dream of flying with him.

The morning my husband died I watched his legs
Churning like when a dog dreams of chasing rabbits.

He was working on picking up enough speed for lift-off.
When his legs went quiet, I knew it was achieved.

Literature:

1. The Pale King (2011) – David Foster Wallace [literary novel {unfinished}]
2. “The Planet Trillaphon as It Stands in Relation to the Bad Thing” (1985) – David Foster Wallace [Wallace’s first published short story]
3. “Fat Girl” (2011) – Jessie Carty [poetry chapbook]
4. “To the One Who Raped Me” (2012) – Dustin Brookshire [poetry chapbook]
5. My Reasons Why (2020) – James Quinones [a book proposing marriage {written by my fiancé, James + designed via LoveBook]
6. I Want to Feel Happy But I Only Feel ____. (2017) – Mallory Smart [poetry collection]
7. Your Aeon (2015) – Atticus Davis [poetry + prose collection]
8. Fourteen Poems, “Issue 1” (2020) [queer poetry zine]
9. [began] Leviathan Wakes: The Expanse, Book 1 (2011) – James S.A. Corey [sci-fi novel]
10. “A Civic Pageant” (2009) – Frank Montesonti [poetry chapbook]
11. Howl and Other Poems (1956) – Allen Ginsberg [poetry collection]
12. “Atlas of the Body” (2018) – Nicole Cuffy [prose chapbook]
13. “Acadiana” (2018) – Nancy Reddy [poetry chapbook]
14. “Something Like the End” (2019) – Ashley Morrow Hermsmeier [short story chapbook]
15. “The Death Metal Pastorals” (2019) – Ryan Patrick Smith [poetry chapbook]
16. Intimations (2020) – Zadie Smith [essay collection]
17. The Tradition (2019) – Jericho Brown [poetry collection]
18. Fourteen Poems, “Issue 2” (2020) [queer poetry zine]
19. [finished] Leviathan Wakes: The Expanse, Book 1 (2011) – James S.A. Corey [sci-fi novel]
20. [began] The Outsider (2018) – Stephen King [detective/horror novel]
21. Winter Garden (c. 1973) – Pablo Neruda, trans. William O’Daly [poetry collection]
22. Wherever You Lay Your Head (1999) – Jane Miller [poetry collection]
23. [finished] The Outsider (2018) – Stephen King [detective/horror novel]
24. The Castle of Otranto (1764) – Horace Walpole [the first Gothic novel]
25. [from] Masters of the Macabre (1999; Book of the Month): “The Adventure of the German Student” – Washington Irving; “The Cobweb” – Saki [Hector Hugh Munro]; & “The Signal-Man” – Charles Dickens [scary story anthology]
26. [from] Masters of the Macabre (1999; BOTM): “The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar” – Edgar Allan Poe; “The Hand” – Guy de Maupassant; “The Body Snatcher” – Robert Louis Stevenson; “A Ghost Story” – Mark Twain; & Dracula’s Guest” – Bram Stoker [scary story anthology]
27. [from] Masters of the Macabre (1999; BOTM): “The Withered Arm” – Thomas Hardy [scary story anthology] & [from] Three Tales of Horror (1995; Penguin 60s): “Hop-Frog” – Edgar Allan Poe [scary story anthology]
28. [from] Three Tales of Horror (1995; Penguin 60s): “The Boarded Window” – Ambrose Bierce [scary story anthology]
29. [from] Masters of the Macabre (1999; BOTM): “The Ghostly Rental” – Henry James [scary story anthology]; [from] Three Tales of Horror (1995; Penguin 60s): “The Body Snatcher” – Robert Louis Stevenson [scary story anthology]; & [from] The Complete Poetry of Edgar Allan Poe (1996; Signet Classics): “The Raven,” “Annabel Lee,” & “The Bells” – Edgar Allan Poe [poetry anthology]
30. Confidence Man (2020; Expat Press) – Anthony Dragonetti [short story collection/cycle]
31. [began] Thousands of Lies (2015) – Manuel Marrero [literary novel]
32. Fourteen Poems, “Issue 3” [x2] (2020) [queer poetry zine]
33. [finished] Thousands of Lies (2015) – Manuel Marrero [literary novel]

Music:

1. Pieces of You (1995) – Jewel
2. Glassworks (1982) – Philip Glass
3. Moon Hooch (2013) – Moon Hooch
4. Stretch 1 (2012) – Arca [ep]
5. Stretch 2 (2012) – Arca [ep]
6. “Eating Hooks” (2016) – Moderat [single]
7. Eating Us (2009) – Black Moth Super Rainbow
8. “Carpet” (2009) – Black Moth Super Rainbow [LP-exclusive track]
9. Suddenly (2020) – Caribou
10. Our Love (2014) – Caribou
11. High Times (2009) – Washed Out
12. Paracosm (2013) – Washed Out
13. Earth (2020) – EOB (Ed O’Brien)
14. Fetch The Bolt Cutters (2020) – Fiona Apple
15. New Conditions (2020) – April [ep]
16. “Plasticine Figures” (2020) – Thom Yorke [single]
17. “S.A.D.” (2013) – Atoms for Peace [b-side to a single]
18. “Magic Beanz” (2013) – Atoms for Peace [b-side to a single]
19. “What the Eyeballs Did” (2012) – Atoms for Peace [b-side to a single]
20. “Hearing Damage” (2009) – Thom Yorke [single]
21. Suspiria (Unreleased Material) (2019) – Thom Yorke [ep]
22. “YouWouldn’tLikeMeWhenI’mAngry” (2017) – Thom Yorke [single/B-side]
23. “Daily Battles” (2019) – Thom Yorke & Flea [song]
24. Mister Mellow (2017) – Washed Out
25. Meaningless (2001) – Jon Brion
26. In C (1968) – Terry Riley
27. Ambient 1: Music for Airports (1978) – Brian Eno
28. A Rainbow in Curved Air (1969) – Terry Riley
29. Thursday Afternoon (1985) – Brian Eno [listened to on a Friday afternoon…maybe that’s why I didn’t really like it]
30. Neroli [“Neroli: Thinking Music, Part IV”] (1993) – Brian Eno
31. Educated Horses (2006) – Rob Zombie
32. Purple Noon (2020) – Washed Out
33. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (Bonus Tracks) (~2004-5; 2020) – Clap Your Hands Say Yeah [a compilation of live performances & cassette tape demos of CYHSY’s eponymous debut]. 1 B-side: “Cigarettes (BBC 6 Music Gideon Coe Session)”
34. “Two Feet Off the Ground” (????) – Thom Yorke [single/b-side to a single{?}]
35. “One More Second” (2020) – Matt Berninger [single]
36. Ep (2016) – Bodywash [ep]
37. “Follow” (2020) – Bodywash [single]
38. Oleic (2016) – Kelly Lee Owens [ep]
39. “New York (Kelly Lee Owens Remix)” (2018) – St. Vincent [remix single]
40. Arisen My Senses – Single (2018) – Björk [remix ep]
41. More Than a Woman – Single (2017) – Kelly Lee Owens [single/remix ep]
42. “Better Off” (2012) – HAIM [b-side to a single]
43. “Send Me Down” (2012) – HAIM [b-side to a single]
44. Days Are Gone (2013) – HAIM
45. “Hesitation Nation” (2020) – Clap Your Hands Say Yeah [lead single 1 for upcoming album, New Fragility]
46. “Thousand Oaks” (2020) – Clap Your Hands Say Yeah [lead single 2 for upcoming album, New Fragility]
47. Kelly Lee Owens (2017) – Kelly Lee Owens
48. Alec Ounsworth’s Mo Beauty B-sides: (~2008-9; 2020) – Alec Ounsworth [and CYHSY]
    1. “Dr. So and So”
    2. “Big Microscope”
    3. “Dim Wit Road”
49. Flashy Python’s Skin and Bones B-sides: (~2008-9; 2020) – Flashy Python [and CYHSY]
    1. “King Sutt”
    2. “Me and the Wife”
    3. “All and All”
50. Something To Tell You (2017) – HAIM
51. Some Loud Thunder (Bonus Tracks) (~2005-7; 2020) – Clap Your Hands Say Yeah [a compilation album of B-sides recorded during the Some Loud Thunder era & live performances of various songs from Some Loud Thunderin subsequent following years]. 6 B-sides:
    1. “Wet Dynamite”
    2. “The Sword Song”
    3. “Watson”
    4. “Telling the Truth (And Going Away) (From the Motion Picture ‘the Great Buck Howard’)” 
    5. “Telling the Truth (And Going Away) (Demo Version)”
    6. “Underwater (You and Me) (Little Elephant Acoustic EP)”
52. Kelly Lee Owens (Extended Version)/B-sides (2017) – Kelly Lee Owens
    1. Spaces
    2. Pull
    3. 1 of 3
53. Hysterical (Bonus Tracks) (~2009-11; 2020) – Clap Your Hands Say Yeah [a compilation album of B-sides recorded during the Hysterical era & live performances of various songs from Hysterical recorded during the Barn Live Session of 2011]. 6 B-sides:
    1. “Statues”
    2. “Alaska”
    3. “New Age”
    4. “The Road”
    5. “Trotsky’s Fence”
    6. “The Witness’ Dull Surprise (Little Elephant Acoustic EP)”
54. Bird (2018) – Kelly Lee Owens [ep]
    1. “Bird (Prins Thomas Diskomiks DJ Edit)”
    2. “Bird”
    3. “Bird (Prins Thomas Diskomiks)”
55. “Noshi (feat. Kelly Lee Owens)” (2015) – Seb Wildblood [single]
56. “Let It Go / Omen – Single” (2019) – Kelly Lee Owens [double-single]
57. “Luminous Spaces – Single” (2019) – Jon Hopkins & Kelly Lee Owens [includes “Luminous Spaces (Edit)”]
58. “Her Revolution / His Rope – Single” (2020) – Burial + Four Tet + Thom Yorke
59. “Where They Perform Miracles” (2020) – Clap Your Hands Say Yeah [lead single 3 for upcoming album, New Fragility]
60. “Ego / Mirror” (2011) – Burial + Four Tet + Thom Yorke
61. “Moth / Wolf Cub” (2009) – Burial + Four Tet
62. Women In Music Pt. III (2020) – HAIM
63. Inner Song (2020) – Kelly Lee Owens

Short Films/Music Videos:

1. “What Did Jack Do?” (2016/2020) – wrt/dir. David Lynch [short film]
2. “Eating Hooks” (2016) – Moderat [music video]
3. “Float” (2019) – Bobby Rubio; Pixar animated; Disney-released [short film]
4. “In Birdsong” (2020) – Everything Everything [music video]
5. “Fire (Poƶar)” (2015) – wrt/draw/dir. David Lynch; animated: Noriko Miyakawa; music: Marek Zebrowski [short film]
6. “Rabbits 1” – wrt/dir. David Lynch; star. Scott Coffey, Laura Elena Harring, & Naomi Watts [short film]
7. “Rabbits Starring Suzie” – wrt/dir. David Lynch; star. Naomi Watts [short film]
8. “The Story of a Small Bug” (2020) – David Lynch [short film]
9. “Rabbits Starring Jack” – wrt/dir. David Lynch; star. Scott Coffey [short film]
10. “The 3Rs” (2011) – wrt/dir. David Lynch [short film]
11. “Rabbits 2” – wrt/dir. David Lynch; star. Scott Coffey, Laura Elena Harring, & Naomi Watts [short film]
12. “Out” (2020) – wrt/dir. Steven Clay Hunter; Pixar animated; Disney-released [short film]
13. “Wind” (2019) – wrt/dir. Edwin Chang; Pixar animated; Disney-released [short film]
14. “Purl” (2019) – wrt/dir. Kristen Lester; Pixar animated; Disney-released [short film]
15. “The Adventures of Alan R.” (2020) – wrt/dir. David Lynch [short film]
16. “Scissors” (2020) – wrt/dir. David Lynch [short film]
17. “I Have A Radio” (2020) – animated/music/dir. David Lynch [music video]
18. “The Spider and the Bee” (2020) – David Lynch [short film]
19. “Valentine” (2017) – HAIM [music video/short film; dir. P.T. Anderson]
20. “Summer Girl” (2019) – HAIM [music video; dir. Paul Thomas Anderson]
21. “Meshes of the Afternoon” (1943) – Maya Deren & Alexander Hammid [short experimental film; dir. Deren & Hammid, prod/wrt Deren, star. Deren & Hammid]
22. “At Land” (1944) – Maya Deren [short experimental film; dir/wrt/star. Deren]
23. “The Great Divide” (2020) – The Shins [music video; dir. Paul Trillo]

Films:

1. The Great Mouse Detective (1986) – dir/wrt/prod. Rom Clements, Burny Mattinson, Dave Michener, & John Musker; Perf. Vincent Price, Barrie Ingham, Val Bettin, Susanne Pollatschek
2. Night on Earth: Shot in the Dark (2020) – Netflix; Nar. Samira Wiley
3. The Princess and the Frog (2009) – wrt/dir. Ron Clements & John Musker; Perf. Anika Noni Rose, Bruno Campos, & Keith David
4. The Master (2012) – wrt/dir. Paul Thomas Anderson; Perf. Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams, & Laura Dern
5. Ma (2019) – wrt/dir. Tate Taylor; Writ. Scotty Landes; Perf. Octavia Spencer, Juliette Lewis, Diana Silvers, Corey Fogelmanis, & Luke Evans
6. The Adjustment Bureau (2011) – wrt/dir. George Nolfi; Perf. Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Anthony Mackie, John Slattery, & Terence Stamp
7. Tremors (1990) – dir/wrt/prod/Created: Ron Underwood, Brent Maddock, S. S. Wilson, & Gale Anne Hurd, Perf. Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter, Michael Gross, & Reba McEntire
8. Tremors 2: Aftershocks (1996) – writ. Brent Maddock & S. S. Wilson, Dir. S. S. Wilson, Prod. Nancy Roberts & Christopher DeFaria, Perf. Fred Ward, Christopher Gartin, Helen Shaver, Marcelo Tubert, Michael Gross
9. A Plastic Ocean (2016) – wrt/dir. Craig Leeson
10. The Cabin in the Woods (2012) – wrt. Joss Whedon & Drew Goddard; dir. Goddard, Prod. Whedon
11. Tickled (2016) – nar. David Farrier, dir. David Farrier & Dylan Reeve
12. Three Identical Strangers (2018) – CNN Film; dir. Tim Wardle
13. District 9 (2008) – wrt/dir. Neill Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell, Prod. Peter Jackson & Carolynne Cunningham, Perf. Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, David James, etc.
14. Parasite (2019) – wrt/dir. Bong Joon-ho, Han Jin-won; prod. Kwak Sin-ae, Moon Yang-kwon, Bong Joon-ho, & Jang Young-hwan; star. Song Kang-ho, Lee Sun-kyun, Cho Yeo-jeong, Choi Woo-shik, Park So-dam, Lee Jung-eun, & Jang Hye-jin
15. A Secret Love (2020) – dir. Chris Bolan; Stars Terry Donahue & Pat Henschel
16. Capote (2005) – dir. Bennett Miller; Writ. Dan Futterman; Perf. Philip Seymour Hoffman, Catherine Keener, etc.
17. Missing 411 (2017) – documentary on cases highlighted by David Paulides
18. Handsome: A Netflix Mystery Movie (2017) – wrt. Jeff Garlin & Andrea Seigel; dir. Jeff Garlin; star. Jeff Garlin, Natasha Lyonne, Amy Sedaris, Leah Remini, Christine Woods, & Steven Weber
19. Hamilton (2016-recorded/2020-released) – prod/wrt/composed/perf. Lin-Manuel Miranda; dir/prod. Thomas Kail; star. Daveed Diggs, Renee Elise Goldsberry, Jonathan Groff, Christopher Jackson, Jasmine Cephas Jones, Leslie Odom Jr., Okieriete Onaodawan, Anthony Ramos, Phillipa Soo; Produced/Distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
20. Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992) – wrt/dir. David Lynch; star. Sheryl Lee, Kyle MacLachlan, etc.
21. Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces (2014) – wrt/dir. David Lynch; prod. Gregg Fienberg; wrt. Robert Engels; star. Sheryl Lee, Kyle MacLachlan, etc.
22. Vivarium (2019) – story Garret Shanley & Lorcan Finnegan; wrt. Garret Shanley; dir. Lorcan Finnegan; star. Imogen Poots, Jesse Eisenberg, etc.
23. The Mandela Effect (2020) – wrt/dir. David Guy Levy; story: Levy & Steffen Schlachtenhaufen; prod. Levy, Schlachtenhaufen, & Joshua Fruehling; star. Charlie Hofheimer; Aleksa Palladino; Robin Lord Taylor; Clarke Peters, & Madeleine McGraw
24. Cuties (2020) – wrt/dir. Maïmouna Doucouré; prod. Sylvain de Zangroniz; star. Fathia Youssouf, Médina El Aidi-Azouni, Esther Gohourou, Ilanah Cami-Goursolas, & Maïmouna Gueye
25. House (1977) – dir/prod Nobuhiko Obayashi; wrt Chiho Katsura; prod Obayashi & Yorihiko Yamada; story Chigumi Obayashi; star. Kimiko Ikegami, Miki Jinbo, Ai Matubara, Kumiko Oba, Mieko Sato, Eriko Tanaka, Masayo Miyako, & Yōko Minamida
26. Train to Busan (2016) – dir. Yeon Sang-ho; wrt. Park Joo-suk; prod. Lee Dong-ha; star. Gong Yoo, Ma Dong-seok, Jung Yu-mi, Kim Su-an, Kim Eui-sung, Choi Woo-shik, & Ahn So-hee
27. Mom and Dad (2017) – wrt/dir/prod. Brian Taylor; prod. Christopher Lemole, Tim Zajaros, & Taylor; star. Nicolas Cage, Selma Blair, Anne Winters, Zackary Arthur, et al.
28. The Social Dilemma (2020) – dir. Jeff Orlowski; wrt. Davis Coombe, Vickie Curtis, & Orlowski; prod. Larissa Rhodes; interviewees Tristan Harris, Aza Raskin, Justin Rosenstein, Shoshana Zuboff, Jaron Lanier, Anna Lembke, Jonathan Haidt, et al.; perf. Skyler Gisondo, Kara Hayward, Vincent Kartheiser, et al.
29. The Brood (1979) – wrt/dir. David Cronenberg; prod. Claude Heroux; star. Oliver Reed, Samantha Eggar, Art Hindle, et al.
30. The Skull (1965) – dir. Freddie Francis; wrt. Milton Subotsky & Robert Bloch; prod. Max Rosenberg & Subotsky; star. Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, Jill Bennett, Patrick Wymark; based upon the short story “The Skull of the Marquis de Sade” by Robert Bloch
31. Vampyr (1932) – dir. Carl Theodor Dreyer; wrt. Christen Jul & Dreyer; prod. Dreyer & Julian West; star. Julian West, Maurice Schutz, Rena Mandel, Jan Hieronimko, Sybille Schmitz, & Henriette Gerard; based upon Carmilla(novella from In a Glass Darkly (1872)) by Sheridan Le Fanu
32. Scanners (1981) – wrt/dir. David Cronenberg; prod. Claude Héroux; star. Jennifer O’Neill, Stephen Lack, Patrick McGoohan, Lawrence Dane, Michael Ironside
33. Carnival of Souls (1962) – dir/prod. Herk Harvey; wrt. John Clifford; story Harvey & Clifford; star. Candace Hilligoss, Sidney Berger, et al.
34. Roald Dahl’s The Witches (2020) – dir. Robert Zemeckis; screenplay Zemeckis, Kenya Barris, & Guillermo del Toro; prod. Zemeckis, Jack Rapke, del Toro, Alfonso Cuarón, & Luke Kelly; star. Anne Hathaway, Octavia Spencer, Stanley Tucci, et al.; based upon The Witches by Roald Dahl
35. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) – dir. Henry Selick; screenplay Caroline Thompson; adaptation Michael McDowell; prod. Tim Burton & Denise Di Novi; star. Danny Elfman, Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara, William Hickey, Glenn Shadix, Paul Reubens, Ken Page, & Ed Ivory; based upon Characters by Tim Burton
36. Village of the Damned (1960) – dir. Wolf Rilla; prod. Ronald Kinnoch; screenplay Stirling Silliphant, Rilla, & Kinnoch; star. George Sanders, Barbara Shelley, etc.
37. West Side Story (1961) – dir. Robert Wise & Jerome Robbins; prod. Wise; screenplay Ernest Lehman; based on West Side Story by Robbins, Leonard Bernstein, Stephen Sondheim, & Arthur Laurents and Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet; star. Natalie Wood, Richard Beymer, Rite Moreno, George Chakiris, Russ Tamblyn, et al.; music Bernstein; cinematography Daniel L. Fapp; edited by Thomas Stanford; prod. companies: Mirisch Pictures & Seven Arts Production; distributed by United Artists
38. The Sound of Music (1965) – prod/dir. Robert Wise; screenplay Ernest Lehman; story Maria von Trapp; based on The Sound of Music by Howard Lindsay & Russel Crouse; music by Richard Rodgers; score by Irwin Kostal; lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II; star. Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, etc.
39. Bombshell (2019) – dir. Jay Roach; writ. Charles Randolph; prod. Aaron L. Gilbert, Roach, Robert Graf, Michelle Graham, Randolph, Margaret Riley, Charlize Theron, A.J. Dix, & Beth Kono; star. Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, John Lithgow, Kate McKinnon, Connie Britton, Malcolm McDowell, Allison Janney, & Margot Robbie
40. Hard Eight (1996) – wrt/dir. Paul Thomas Anderson; prod. Robert Jones & John Lyons; music Jon Brion & Michael Penn; cinematography by Robert Elswit; star. Philip Baker Hall, John C. Reilly, Gwyneth Paltrow, Samuel L. Jackson, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robert Ridgely, & Melora Walters
41. Cabaret (1972) – dir. Bob Fosse; prod. Cy Feuer; screenplay: Jay Allen; star. Liza Minnelli, Michael York, Helmut Griem, Marisa Berenson, Fritz Wepper, & Joel Grey

Television/Limited/Mini- Series:

1. Sex, Explained (2020) – Vox via Netflix; Nar. Janelle Monáe
2. Don’t Fuck with Cats: Hunting an Internet Killer (2019) – Netflix; Dir. Mark Lewis
3. Night on Earth (2020) – Netflix; Nar. Samira Wiley
4. The Mandalorian, Season 1 (2019) – Creator: Jon Favreau, Perf. Pedro Pascal
5. The Good Place, Season 4: Episodes 10–13 (2020) – Creator: Michael Schur, Perf. Kristen Bell & Ted Danson
6. The Office [US], Seasons 1-9 (2005-2013) – Creator: Greg Daniels, Perf. Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B. J. Novak, etc.
7. I Am A Killer, Season 2 (2020) – Netflix; Dir/Prod. Ingo Nyakairu
8. Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, Season 7 (2020) – HBO; Host: John Oliver
9. Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, Season 1 (2020) – Creator: Austin Winsberg; Perf. Jane Levy, Skylar Astin, Alex Newell, John Clarence Stewart, Peter Gallagher, Mary Steenburgen, & Lauren Graham
10. Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness (2020) – Netflix; dir. Eric Goode & Rebecca Chaiklin; star. Joe Exotic, Carole Baskin, Bhagavan Antle, John Finlay, Rick Kirkham, John Reinke, Kelci “Saff” Saffery, Jeff Lowe, Erik Cowie, Howard Baskin, Travis Maldonado, Dillon Passage, & Tim Stark
11. Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Seasons 1-7 (2013-2020) – Creat. Dan Goor & Michael Schur; Perf. Andy Samberg, Stephanie Beatriz, Terry Crews, Melissa Fumero, Joe Lo Truglio, Chelsea Peretti, Andre Braugher, Dirk Blocker, & Joel McKinnon Miller
12. Worth It, Seasons 1-7 (2016-9) – Steven Lim created; star. Steven Lim, Andrew Ilnyckyj, & Adam Bianchi
13. Unsolved Mysteries, Season 15, Volume I (2020) – creat. John Cosgrove & Terry Dunn Meurer; dir. Marcus A. Clarke (3), Clay Jeter (2), & Jimmy Goldblum (1)
14. Devs (2020) – FX on Hulu; Creat/Wrt/Dir. Alex Garland; Star. Sonoya Mizuno, Nick Offerman, Jin Ha, Alison Pill, et al.
15. McMillion$ (2020) – HBO; Wrt/Dir. James Lee Hernandez & Brian Lazarte
16. America’s Got Talent, Season 15: Ep. 1-x (2020)
17. Twin Peaks, Seasons 1-2 (1990-1) – creat. Mark Frost & David Lynch; star. Kyle MacLachlan, etc.
18. Twin Peaks: A Limited Event Series (The Return), Season 3 (2017) – Showtime; writ/dir/prod David Lynch; star. Kyle MacLachlan, etc.
19. Lovecraft Country (2020) – HBO; developed by Misha Green; prod. Misha Green, J. J. Abrams, & Jordan Peele; star. Jonathan Majors, Jurnee Smollett, etc.; based on Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff
20. The Universe, Season 1 (2007) – History Channel/Netflix [science/cosmic documentary]
21. Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000-2020) – HBO; creat/story/star. Larry David; star. Jeff Garlin, Cheryl Hines, Susie Essman, J. B. Smoove, etc.
22. I’ll Be Gone in the Dark (2020) – HBO; prod. Liz Garbus, Dan Cogan, Michelle McNamara, Patton Oswalt, etc.; dir. Liz Garbus, Elizabeth Wolff, Myles Kane, & Josh Koury; based on I’ll Be Gone in the Dark by Michelle McNamara
23. Unsolved Mysteries, Season 15, Volume II (2020) – Netflix; creat. John Cosgrove & Terry Dunn Meurer; dir. Dan Argott (1), Robert M. Wise (1), Robert M. Wise & Clay Jeter (1), Clay Jeter (1), Skye Borgman (1), & Jessica Dimmock (1)
24. Rick and Morty, Season 4 (2020) – Adult Swim; creat. Justin Roiland & Dan Harmon; prod. Harmon, Roiland, Mike McMahan, & J. Michael Mendel; perf. Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, & Sarah Chalke
25. Schitt’s Creek, Season 6 (2020) – Pop TV/Netflix; creat. Eugene Levy & Dan Levy; star. Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara, Dan Levy, Annie Murphy, Emily Hampshire, Jennifer Robertson, Chris Elliott, Tim Rozon, Sarah Levy, John Hemphill, Karen Robinson, Dustin Milligan, Noah Reid, etc.
26. The Mandalorian, Season 2 (2020) – Creator: Jon Favreau, Perf. Pedro Pascal
27. Big Mouth, Seasons 1-4 (2017-2020) – creat/Ex.prod. Andrew Goldberg, Nick Kroll, Mark Levin, & Jennifer Flackett; prod. Chris Prynoski & Shannon Prynoski; perf. Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, Jessi Klein, Jason Mantzoukas, Jenny Slate, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, Jordan Peele, & Ayo Edebiri
28. Survivor: San Juan del Sur — Blood vs. Water, (Survivor, Season 29 [2014]) – network: CBS; presented: Jeff Probst; Winner: Natalie Anderson, Runner-up: Jaclyn Schultz; location: San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua; filmed: June 2-July 10, 2014; aired: Sept. 24-Dec. 17, 2014
29. New Girl, Season 1 (2011-12) – network: Fox; creat. Elizabeth Meriwether; star. Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, Damon Wayans Jr., Lamorne Morris, Hannah Simone; ex. prod. Elizabeth Meriwether, Jake Kasdan, Peter Chernin, et al.

Board Games:

1. Mansions of Madness Second Edition (2016) – released by Fantasy Flight Games; designed by Corey Konieczka (1st ed.) & Nikki Valens (2nd ed.)
2. Mansions of Madness Second Edition, Expansion: Beyond the Threshold (2017) – released: Fantasy Flight Games
3. Mansions of Madness Second Edition, Expansion: Streets of Arkham (2017) – released: Fantasy Flight Games
4. Mansions of Madness Second Edition, Expansion: Sanctum of Twilight (2018) – released: Fantasy Flight Games
5. Mansions of Madness Second Edition, Expansion: Path of the Serpent (2019) – released: Fantasy Flight Games
6. Near and Far (2017) – released: Red Raven Games; designed/illustrated: Ryan Laukat
7. Villainous: Perfectly Wretched Expansion (2020) – released: Ravensburger AG / Disney
8. Gloomhaven (2017) – released: Cephalofair Games; designed: Isaac Childres; illustrated: Alexandr Elichev, Josh T. McDowell, & Alvaro Nebot
9. Fallen Land: A Post-Apocalyptic Board Game (2017) – released: Fallen Dominion Studios, LLC; designed: Sean Cahill & Jon Lonngren
10. Burgle Bros. (2015) – designed/released: Tim Fowers; illustrated: Ryan Goldsberry
11. Star Wars: Outer Rim (2019) – released: Fantasy Flight Games, et al.; designed: Corey Konieczka & Tony Fanchi

AUTHOR BIO:: dom schwab is a reader/writer of poetry/prose. dom is gay, GQ w/ no pronoun preference, a vegetarian, and lives in Chicago. dom’s most recent work has appeared in Zoomoozophone Review’s female/non-gender-conforming Issue 5, Boscombe Revolution Issue 3: Revolution & Gender, and JunkYard Kool, an anthology presented by Kool Kids Press.