Photo by John Baird, TNG Flickr Pool

This week, my office has been preparing to change over to a new server. Which will be great. In about 4 days when it’s over. So far, it hasn’t been so great, because it’s forcing me to actually work while I’m at work. And we all know how I feel about that. But here’s what I (and perhaps you) missed on TNG this week:

In Commentary

• Jean, Not Your Average Prom Queen, examined one of my personal favorite TV phenomena: the fat guy/skinny wife show.
• In The Adventures of the Boi Wonder, Levi tries to figure out how you are supposed to start being yourself when you’ve trying to cover that up all your life.
• Corey brings us his musings on privilege from his Little Black Book.
• When you’re in a couple, it can be hard to maintain your individuality. Kareem gives his advice on individuality to all the couples out there in this week’s Being Single Is…

In Music

• Lesbians! (And other people). Zack interviewed Sara Quinn of Tegan and Sara.
• Rohan interviewed Spiral Stairs in Driveway to Driveway, Drunk.

In Culture/Politics

• Maine did’t vote to keep gay marriage legal. I cried a tear In The Ladies’ Room.
• This week Jolly sets his Global Gaze on the role on religion and the LGBT movement.

In Events

• And as, always, what to do in TNG cities around the country: DC, San Francisco, and Chicago.

Autumn in Chicago ... Yes!

Unlike the famous Guns N Roses song, this first weekend of November promises to be a beautiful fall weekend with clear skies. All in all, I’m starting to love fall more than summer. Here are some events that will help you enjoy this cities many activities.

Friday

• The 28th Annual Reeling Film Festival features 59 different screenings, including 33 narrative feature films, 10 programs of documentary features and featurettes, and 16 programs of shorts, as well as 7 after-parties and a panel discussion. Venues, movie and prices vary so please visit the website for details.
• Celebrating its 16th year, Sculpture Objects & Functional Art Fair, SOFA CHICAGO 2009, the critically acclaimed Sculpture Objects & Functional Art Fair, returns on Nov. 6 – 8 to present masterworks from 68 top international galleries and dealers from 10 countries masterworks from top international galleries and dealers. Navy Pier, 600 E. Grand Avenue, 15 for single day general admission and $25 for a three-day pass, 11am.
• Scholar and human rights activist Luzma Umpierre will attend a reception to honor her for donating her artwork, poetry, photographs and documents that chronicle workplace legal struggles, lesbianism and the migrant experience to DePaul University’s John T. Richardson Library. Depaul University, 2350 N. Kenmore Ave., Free and open to the public, 2 p.m. 773-325-7353.
• Author Margaret Atwood will present a 70-minute dramatic reading from her new novel, “The Year of the Flood,” backed by a troupe of actors and a choir. DePaul Merle Reskin Theatre, 60 E. Balbo, $20, 5:30 p.m.
  
• Mr. International Rubber, the preeminent annual men’s rubber fetish event, features trips to the leather museum and archives, bars events and contests. Center on Halsted, 3656 N. Halsted, open registration and ticket sales at Noon, check website for details.
• The Artists of Eastbank will present the “Within the Body” art show. The event will benefit the social-justice group GenderJUST. Within the Body is an exhibition and auction that showcases the work of several emerging artists and will include performance art, installation, music, and 2-D work. Artists of Eastbank, 1200 West 35th St @ Racine, $8, 6pm.
• The Flesh Hungry Dog Show brings live music to Chicago’s gay community and fun, alternative venues for bands with GLBT content and members, and GLBT supportive bands. Jackhammer, 6406 N Clark Street, $10, 9pm.

Saturday

• New Wave Rockers, The Sounds are playing a gig at The Vic Theatre to promote their newest album “Crossing the Rubicon”. Official after party is at Berlin across from the venue. The Vic Theatre, 3145 N Sheffield Ave, $18, 7:30pm. Berlin, 954 W Belmont Ave, $10, 10pm.
• Human Rights Campaign Gala “Time To Shine” “Time to Shine” is the theme of this year’s HRC Chicago Gala with: Joe Solmonese, President of the Human Rights Campaign; Tony Taylor, recipient of the HRC LGBT College Student Award; Rush University Medical Center, recipient of the HRC Corporate Equality Award; Robert Gant of Queer As Folk; and Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child. Hyatt Regency Chicago, 151 E Wacker Dr, 6pm.

Sunday

• Author Nikki Rashan (”You Make Me Wanna”) will make a personal appearance at Center on Halsted as a part of Center on Halsted’s OUTwrite (an LGBT literary program) in partnership with B.BLYSS! Production. Described as thoughtful and reflective, OUT lesbian author Nikki Rashan uses her ability to tap into the depths of human nature to create emotionally honest and passionate stories of love and romance, mixed with bits of humor and suspense. In her writings, Nikki utilizes the energy she experienced through her journey of self-realization, as she openly shared on the Oprah Winfrey show in 2004 and 2006. Center on Halsted, 3656 N Halsted, $10, 6pm.

A mark of a good CD is the fact that a potentially salacious or marketable backstory doesn’t get in the way of the music’s intended purpose. 2009’s Dance Mother LP, by Brookyn duo Telepathe, is by all accounts a icy testament to synth pop’s ability to make a person dance. Songs like “So Fine” and “Chrome’s On It” do a nice job at mixing Ladytron detachment with Santigold hyperstyle to make a perfect soundtrack for someone to grope someone else on a darkened dance floor. This is a compliment. 

What the average fan might not know, however, is that Telepathe’s members, Busy Gangnes and Melissa Livaudais, used to be an item. Their nonchalance at this fact haven’t given them as much purchase in the queer press as one might expect (one superior interview notwithstanding,) but finding out a band’s sexuality through a casual sentence in a Pitchfork review carries its own kind of visibility too. 

Though I think that the mainstream media usually gets excited about bands with histories like Telepathes’, it’s also nice that their disc was largely reviewed on its own merit. I hope you check it out, and enjoy.

Original illustration by Ryan Blomberg

It’s baaaaack! But this time I, Rohan, will be reviewing the latest crop of plastic discs and 010101’s dumped onto the general public. Things are going be a little different but still the same. Things I’ll keep: Zack’s format. Things that’ll change, well for starters we have different taste, but “Sounds like a combination of” might be more vague, and sometimes it is truly unnecessary, especially if the artist is on say record 6; they sound like themselves, just a little different – full circle, eh? Plus I’m gonna shift from just “indie” releases, and throw in pop, hip-hop, and other fun stuff. And I apologize if the “indie” stuff might get a little more loud, fuzzed out and less accessible. There is always shit for your dance party out there; go out to a cllllurrb to find new music. Oh and I might throw in the occasional single, because in this world of the internet you got to keep current.

GET THIS NOW, I MEAN IT:

Artist: Julian Casablancas
Album: Phrazes for the Young
What the hell is it?: Strokes front man goes solo and electro
Sounds like a combination of: The Strokes (duh) and Daft Punk (wha–)
For Example: 11^th Dimension
Recommended?: Every bit as good as the first two Strokes records, kinda makes you forget about that third one
Release Date: Nov. 3

Artist: Lightning Bolt
Album: Earthly Delights
What the hell is it?: Bass N Drums duo continue their path of total destruction
Sounds like a combination of: The sonic equivalent of beating the shit out of somebody
For Example: Sound Guardians
Recommended?: Fuck yeah!
Release Date: Oct. 13

Artist: Dragonette
Album: Fixin to Thrill
What the hell is it?: Canadian pop group who, in my opinion, released one of the best “pop” records of the decade go at it again
Sounds like a combination of: Little Boots, La Roux, Wonky Pop
For Example: Pick Up The Phone
Recommended?: Does your heart beat?
Release Date: Oct. 27

Artist: Real Estate
Album: Real Estate
What the hell is it?: NJ rockers mix beach vibes with whip-smart tunes
Sounds like a combination of: Underwater Peoples Records, Woodsist Records
For Example: Beach Comber
Recommended?: Yes, yes, and yes
Release Date: Nov. 17

“WOULDN’T KICK IT OUT OF BED FOR EATING CRACKERS”:

Artist: Amerie
Album: In Love & War
What the hell is it?: R&B singer tries to resurrect her career after being fucked by her label
Sounds like a combination of: Solange, Beyonce, Pick your R&B Diva
For Example: Heard Em All
Recommended?: She’s back!
Release Date: Nov. 3

Artist: Tegan and Sara
Album: Sainthood
What the hell is it?: Lesbian twin rockers
Sounds like a combination of: Metric, and shit – Tegan and Sara’s Last record
For Example: Arrow
Recommended?: I think I only like this because I really like Chris Walla’s (Death Cab for Cutie) production….
Release Date: Oct. 27

Artist: Broadcast and the Focus Group
Album: Broadcast and the Focus Group Investigate Witch Cults of The Radio Age
What the hell is it?: Hyper long EP (?) from Broadcast and their long time artistic collaborator, The Focus Group
Sounds like a combination of: Sound collages and Pop songs, AM radios on drugs
For Example: The Be Colony
Recommended?: Yes.
Release Date: Oct. 26

Artist: Cold Cave
Album: Love Comes Close
What the hell is it?: Matador reissue of new hot-shit electro band
Sounds like a combination of: New Order, Bauhaus, Noise
For Example: Love Comes Close
Recommended?: Did you used to frequent Nation, or have a hard-on for the non-pop Ladytron songs? Then why didn’t you have this when it was released earlier this year?
Release Date: Nov. 3

THIS IS JUST PURE SHIT:

Artist: Weezer
Album: Ratitude
What the hell is it?: C’mon, you’ve never heard of Weezer?
Sounds like a combination of: I don’t know, power-pop mixed with irony (I hope)
For Example: Can’t Stop Partying
Recommended?: Oh man, I was fooled into liking the first couple tracks, because I really wanted this to work. Yeah, the lyrics are terrible, but have you actually listened to the lyrics on an Interpol or New Order album? If you are/were a Weezer fan you know. You desperately want them to make another good record, but now four (yeah, fucking four!!) records past the passable, but kind of shitty in its time Green Album, comes this pile of garbage. This may have one or two (I’m generous) decent songs, but you can’t trust a band who writes a song like “Can’t Stop Partying (Ft. Lil Wayne).”
Release Date: Nov. 3

HAVE YOU HEARD THIS SONG YET?

Artist: Sleigh Bells
Song: Crown on the Ground
What the hell is it?: Ok, yeah I read Pitchfork, but I do so ya’ll don’t have to! This song is an epic R&B banga mixed into a loud distorted out noise track. Try not to bounce up and down to it! See, noise and dance music can mix.

Carey Mulligan as Jenny

An Education takes the classic coming-of-age story and adds to it an intelligence and wit lost in the blind naïveté of the main characters of so many such stories.  Instead, the film gives the audience Jenny, an exceedingly smart sixteen-year old whose dreams and desires carry her beyond the drab existence of 1961 suburban London.  The size of those desires is complimented by the drive for a life that will allow her to attain those dreams, but getting there is the battle. The film is about that battle, approaching it with a cleverness well matched for the headstrong Jenny.

As Jenny, Carey Mulligan carries the film firmly on her shoulders with such believability and poise, that it quickly becomes clear that she will own the movie from start to finish.  Sharing the screen with actors like Peter Sarsgaard, Alfred Molina, and Emma Thompson would be a difficult task for any actor, and Mulligan does not just hold her own against them, she shines.  Her performance is an absolute pleasure, and she makes Jenny one of the most likeable film characters of the year.  Prepare to hear Mulligan’s name both throughout the upcoming awards season and for years to come.

As Jenny prepares for her final year of schooling before college, she begins to see that her plan of attending Oxford has roadblocks to her dreams.  Why would she want to trade one boring existence for another?  Breaking away from one cage places her another one.  She sees herself as much more of a Parisian than a Londoner and believes that only in the City of Lights and Love will she be able to live freely. Even though Jenny’s intelligence may be beyond her years, the totality of her life’s experiences nonetheless creates in her an innocence that is never played as ignorance.  She is not ignorant to the world, only untested by it.

Living freely will never work for Jenny’s conservative father Jack (Molina).  Under his rules, she will attend Oxford, fit in, find a husband, and make a decent living leading a respectable life.  There will be no boat-rocking on Jack’s watch.  To Jenny this sounds like the death of her spirit, but to Jack this will be the way that he will be able to protect her for the rest of her life.  While being rigid in his beliefs and plans, Jack is never tyrannical and his love for his daughter and family is evident in his protective ways.

Everything seems to be going as planned in Jenny’s life, until one day she finds herself stuck in a rainstorm with her cello, post-practice.  A car approaches and inside is a handsome self-proclaimed cello enthusiast by the name of David (Sarsgaard) who hates the idea of seeing the instrument ruined.  He offers her a ride home, she accepts, and her education begins.

Carey Mulligan and Peter Sarsgaard as Jenny and David

In David, Jenny sees the doors to the future she wants opening. As he promises to make her dreams of an adventurous life possible, she sees an unforeseen path in front of her eyes.  He takes her out on the town and on weekend trips with his glamorous friends Danny and Helen (Dominic Cooper and Rosamund Pike).  While shallow, Danny and Helen welcome Jenny’s entrance into their fast-paced lifestyle.  Helen is convinced that Jenny would wither into a fat, ugly, boring girl if she entered Oxford.  In her eyes, the only way to thrive in this life is to live it the way that she, Danny, and David live.  Jenny is more than happy to take part.

Even though more than twice her age, David is nonetheless able to charm Jenny’s parents into allowing her to go out on dates with him that extend from long evenings to entire weekends.  Just as Jenny has pinned her dreams on David, so has Jack.  He sees David not as a predator, but as the man who will provide her with the protective existence in which he seeks to place his daughter.

Soon Jenny the stellar student begins to fade into Jenny the failing student much to the disconcertion of her mentor and teacher Miss Stubbs (Olivia Williams) and strict Headmistress (Thompson).  They’ll have none of it, and are the only ones in the film who think Jenny is heading down a path of ruin.  Their hopes for Jenny are attached directly onto her, having no use for a man to fulfill her future.

The romance never seems creepy because the question remains throughout the film whether Jenny’s attraction to David has to do with the person that he is or that which he has to offer her.  He is no more than a vehicle for her dreams, albeit a charming handsome vehicle.  But as David’s truth slowly unfolds for Jenny, her dreams become grounded in a reality that she is unsure of how to navigate.

Adapted for the screen by Nick Hornby (who wrote the novels High Fidelity and About a Boy) from the memoirs of British journalist Lynn Barber, the film is expertly constructed to carefully unfold to the audience in concert with Jenny.  Nothing is known before Jenny, and the same questions and challenges that are presented to her are presented to the viewer.  Mulligan, Hornby, and director Lone Scherfig succeed at placing us firmly in Jenny’s shoes.

An Education is a refreshing take on the coming-of-age story.  It is not often that a careful portrait is given of a teenage character of such depth and understanding.  The drab world that Jenny exists within is captured well by Scherfig’s camera, and allows for the characters to shine brightly.  Jenny’s love affair with life has only just begun, and by the end of the film, you will be happy to have been there with her at the beginning.

An Education is playing in limited release nationwide. Check www.sonyclassics.com/aneducation for further details.

For the DVD pick of the week I’m recommending my favorite coming-of-age film, The Graduate. Mike Nichols’ classic film starring Dustin Hoffman as a recent college graduate who has much more to learn about life contains the same idea of learning through a love affair with an older partner.  Anne Bancroft is simply fantastic as Mrs. Robinson.  I’m sure that most of you have already seen the film- revisit it.  For those of you who haven’t seen it, get to it already!

Photo by author

The road to Tucson was a long one, and I can’t say we both arrived at its terminus unscathed. My amateur attempt at lighting a joint in the car caused a nasty burn hole in my brand new polo shirt, and my odometer would never be quite the same again. We arrived at my parents’ timeshare in Tucson around dusk, having driven from Southern California to attend the final installment of what I was calling Wedding Week 2009: two back-to-back weddings within a week of each other. The past 13 days had been chaotic to say the least.

The first wedding was that of my second cousin, Holly. I’m not what you’d call close to this segment of my family. My grandmother’s twin sister (Holly’s grandmother) had enjoyed a very comfortable life after she married into a family who owned a construction firm based in Riverside. Not only do the members of this branch of the family tree navigate society ensconced in a bubble of privilege, they also prescribe to a particularly rigorous brand of evangelical Christianity that further distorts (in my opinion) their worldview.

In the week leading up to the wedding, there was some debate amongst my immediate family as to whether or not there this was going to be a dry wedding. That drinking is frowned upon within my family would be an understatement, so I felt slightly awkward sipping my chardonnay after the wait staff began pouring glasses of free wine immediately after the ceremony. The wedding reception would turn out to be something of a milestone.

After several glasses raised in toast to the newly-wedded couple, I was running on pure liquid courage. The uneasiness and self-consciousness I had felt earlier had dissipated. I was having engaging conversations with my cousins that I hadn’t spoken to in about a decade, guffawing with my homophobic, ultra-conservative uncles, and generally not giving a fuck who was watching me on the dance-floor. As I executed a poorly-timed spin to “Boom Boom Pow”, I glanced over to see both of my parents polishing off their glasses of wine. I was raised in the Baptist church, but the values of celibacy until marriage (being homosexual, this is both impossible and impractical for me), abstention from alcohol (see above), and general obedience to God never really gained any traction with me.

On the other hand, I recall several wine and champagne bottles given to my parents as Christmas and New Year’s gifts thrown in the garbage in the name of setting a good example for me and my brothers. As far as I knew until that night, my folks still adhered to that rule. But here we were, all of us in no condition to drive home, and not really caring either way. I realized that I was entering a phase where, after accepting that your parents are actual human beings, you begin to counter this newfound discovery by asserting yourself not only as human, but a grown-up. Emboldened by this revelation, I was anticipating having a pretty good time in Tucson at my other cousin’s wedding the following weekend which was sure to have booze flowing freely.

My brother and I exchanged greetings with my parents as we sat down to a home-away-from-home-cooked dinner, a welcome respite from a full day on the road. Later that night, I went with my mother to the grocery store to pick up something for us all to enjoy for dessert.

As she began picking out toppings for ice cream sundaes, I said casually, “I’m going to go pick out some beer for me and Andrew.”

She pouted and frowned like a two-year-old being called for a bath. “Do you have to?”

I was too road-weary to put the effort required into ruining a perfectly good evening with family, but I really wanted a drink, so I sheepishly responded “No…..I don’t have to….”

She gave me the pouty two-year-old look again.

“I’m on vacation.” Maybe this whole asserting myself as an adult wasn’t such a good idea after all. I puffed up my chest and convinced myself that the tension would blow over. I placed my 12-pack on the conveyor belt at the check-out and I wondered if my mom would use a different tactic to keep me from drinking that night.

“I really don’t know how your father’s going to react to you having that. In the house,” mom said in a prophetic tone. Pfft: as if that dynamic had ever existed in our family! I don’t recall ever hearing, “Just you wait until your father gets home!” in my 18 years living with them. Nice try, mom.

At the same time, I felt overcome by her vortex of guilt. I felt a sinking sensation, my morale was about to give way under the crushing weight of mom’s time-tested methods.

“If it really means that much to you, I’ll just put it back.”

Mom wanted to make it clear that I had gotten the wrong idea. “Oh, no no! Don’t put it back! I just want you to know how I feel,” she said. As she approached the cashier, without looking at me she threw in, “And you know how I feel”.

I paid for my beer and admitted to myself that mom had triumphed. Her unique brand of passive aggression conquers all. I was absolutely petrified that I had misunderstood my brother when I asked him if he wanted anything from the store, that “Just whatever you’re having,” really referred to whatever flavor of ice cream. I knew that this was a bad judgment call on my part, and that the night I defiantly brought a 12-pack of Budweiser into my parents’ home would come to be known in my family as “that night”.

I tried my best to act normal as I walked through the door. “I told him, Tom!”…..Silence. I had totally called mom’s bluff! I was home-free! I had won!

There has to come a point where you take your family dynamics, unspoken resentments and expectations, and reconcile them with your life. You either rise above them or give into them. I choose to rise above them. I may not be proud of everything I’ve done in my life, and I don’t claim to have my shit together by any stretch of the imagination, but I know who I am right now, and I refuse to sugar-coat or hide it any more.

Before heading to bed, my brother and I were polishing off the last of our beers and chatting on the balcony. We stared into the Sonoran void, puffing our cigarettes. “Way to stick to your guns on that one,” my brother said. I took another swig and smacked my lips in satisfaction.

Mornings suck. So every morning TNG brings you a fun video to ease the pain.

The blending of the modeling world and realm of musicians is nothing new. The above video, however, takes an iconic and oft-covered song, “I Wanna Be Your Dog” by The Stooges, and uses it skewer the world of modeling. The clip is described as “a subversive take on the casting process directed by Legs’ Georgie Greville,” but mostly it’s an interesting video that makes me think about music, fashion, gender and everything in between.

If anyone out there procrastinates, they might understand why I recorded an interview with Tegan and Sara’s Sara Quinn at the Austin City Limits music festival last September and am just posting it now. If you aren’t a victim of the putter demon then I’ll just say that I saved this interview for the release of queer twin sister duo’s new disc, “Sainthood.” I think more queer people could stand to see that they can be successful in their chosen field without having to treat their queer identity as a secret.

The New Gay Zack: My first question for you is this: Do you consider yourself a queer musician, or a musician who just happens to be queer? You know, some people say “I’m just an artist, sexuality shouldn’t matter…”

Sarah Quinn: A distinction I like to make is that all the artists out there who are heterosexual, be it painters or writers or singer, it means very little to me that they are heterosexual. Like Bruce Springsteen, I can understand his music, listen to it, relate to it, love it, regardless of who he sleeps with. But it’s important for me to be visible and acknowledge that my sexuality is not something I’m ashamed of. I do think of myself as being queer and I am an artist, I think that the distinction for me is I don’t make “gay music.” I don’t think you can make straight music or gay music. I’m just making music. My music does not have a sexuality. I have a sexuality.

TNG: How has your queer experience influenced your music?

SQ: My life experience influences everything I do. The way I look, the way I dress, the way I think, the way I talk. Being queer, being a minority, not just that but being a woman, I have experiences where I feel discrimination in the industry, like off-handed or backhanded comments. You either turn inward or turn your shoulders back and move forward, you try to battle through others projections or perceptions of you. I would never change anything.

The big difference between when I was 18 and now, when I’m 28, is that I used to say “do you think that if I could be straight I wouldn’t? you now, if I could make it easier on myself?” But now I would never. I love being who I am, I love being exactly who I am. It just feels like less of an issue.

TNG: My boyfriend went to see your DC show last thanksgiving [actually '07] and saw all these teenage girls, queer and straight. What is your relationship to you’re queer fan base? Do you think you’re helping queer girls come out or straight girls be open minded? Are the parents at these shows scared you’re going to somehow “turn” their girls?

SQ: I always try to flip it. If I’m surrounded by heterosexuality in every billboard, every image, every TV show or musician, in everything I grew up with, and I’m not straight. So clearly it doesn’t work the other way. If we were so impressionable that we’d become straight by being around straight people we’d all be straight. They’re the majority. I don’t worry about it. We are gay but I don’t think our show is…

TNG: So you’re not making out on stage?

SQ: No! It’s not a sexual experience, but look at the Kings of Leon. Girls scream for them, guys are singing passionately along with them. Music creates passion with everyone. I don’t look into the audience and think all these girls are in love with us. It’s an experience. You go and feel passionate. Some people attach to you personally, some attach to your music.

TNG: But if there’s some fifteen year old girl there that wants to come out…

SQ: I think that having visible role models in media is so important. When I was little people like Kathleen or Ani DiFranco might not have identified as queer, but they certainly identified as queer allies. I think there will be some of us in this genre of music who say “I don’t care if you think it’s wrong, Im motherfucking OK with it,” and if fifteen year olds or forty-five years olds take inspiration from that it’s awesome.

TNG: I was going to ask a question about indie rock creating a safe haven for queers, more than a genre like death metal would seem to. Is there a relationship between the music and the scene and queer comfort in it?

SQ: I think that there is an open-mindedness to alternative music and indie rock, but it’s also very male. There is a very male feeling to indie rock. Being a female queer artist in the world of rock is a little alienating sometimes. I don’t know that many queer dudes in rock either, but I think you’r right that in metal or hip hop there is more of a feeling of homophobia, or if I’m gay and listening to Talib Kweli it might not be kosher…

TNG: What are your queer musical influences?

I’m really inspired by people like Beth Ditto who will actually talk about being gay, who won’t skirt the issue or not talk about it. Like Jenny Owens Young who just came out on Matador. I like that they’re casual about it. Tegan and I have always been super casual about it. We’re making music for everyone, but I’m not gonna answer “What does your boyfriend think about you writing music about love?” I don’t have a boyfriend. I had one when I was 17, but I dont know what he thinks and I don’t care. I think being open and comfortable is what inspires me. Other people are just talking casually about who they are. I really like that.TNG

As always, if you know of an event coming up that you think your fellow TNG readers might enjoy, send the details to events@thenewgay.net and/or leave them in the comments below and we’ll throw them up on the calendar ASAP. And don’t forget, you can always find out about all kinds of DC-related events and stories by following the TNGDC Twitter feed.

Tonight

• Join GLOV for an important community forum on anti-gay violence with representatives from the United States Attorneys Office. Details: Foundry United Methodist Church, 1500 16th St., NW., 6:00 p.m.
• Just because Halloween has passed, don’t throw that costume away! Use it to humiliate yourself for a good cause as Kostume Karaoke visits Phase 1 to benefit EPIC DC. Details: Phase 1, 525 8th St. SE, 7:00 p.m., $5 cover to benefit EPIC DC, $1 donation per song – $3 to make EPIC or Phase 1 staff sing, Men should arrive with a female escort.

Friday

• Join Karl Jones, Shea Van Horn, and Bil Todd as they introduce a new monthly party to DC’s gay nightlife, RAW at the Green Lantern. Details: The Green Lantern, 1353 Green Court NW (Side Entrance), 10:00 p.m. – 3:00 a.m., 21+, No Cover.

Saturday

• Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to join ZOOM Urban Lesbian Excursions for an special exciting lady-loving interactive game of Operation Spy, appropriately dubbed She Spy, at the International Spy Museum. Details: International Spy Museum, 800 F St., NW, 6:30 p.m. – 9:30 p.m., Tickets are $20 – Advance ticket sales online only.

Sunday

• Break out your Sunday best (actually, formal attire is optional) for Skinny Tie, Sunday indie music lounge night for queer folks and their friends presented by TNG and Where the Girls Go. Details: The Town Tavern Upstairs, 2323 18th St., NW, 9:00 p.m. – Close, No Cover.

Lady Gaga No. 2
Hans Bruesch

Much like Zack, I was never all that big on LG until she represented loud and proud in DC on October 11th. I’m usually not a glory hog – these posts aren’t all about me – but I worked my ass off for this shot (full size). Enjoy.

The TNG Flickr pool is open to anyone with a Flickr account. We’d love to see your work in there.

Questions? Suggestions? Send it to hans@thenewgay.net

The one thing that has been really killing me about TV shows in the last few years is the seemingly grand-slam of sitcom tropes: The dopey/fat guy and hot wife combination.

I know its going to be a long time before I see an equal portion of network TV shows that include realistic gay characters (echoed by the recent sad happenings in Maine) but how about just realistic straight relationships? As a feminist it drives me crazy to see the way many women are portrayed on TV. We are often momentary man-candy, shrill, bitchy supervisors, of simply married to some oafish guy.

While there are many examples out there, there are a few that come immediately to my mind. Everybody Loves Raymond ran from 1996 to 2005 and depicted a really goofy, dorky Ray to his well-put-together and better-looking-than-him wife.

The George Lopez Show. 2002 to 2007. Come on, he wouldn’t have a chance with Constance Marie in real life.

According to Jim? I don’t really see Jim Belushi and Courtney Thorne-Smith getting together anytime soon.

My favorite example? King of Queens. Sure, Kevin James might be a funny guy, but not funny enough to bag Leah Remini. Not even once drunkenly in college – and they were supposedly bagging from 1998-2007. Clearly, as assumed by the embedded photograph, I have a little thing for Leah Remini. (Full disclosure: In my perfect world I might want to see her on a TV show married to Clea DuVall, but for this argument, I would definitely take Jeremy Sisto.)

How about Charlotte and Harry in Sex in the City, or pretty much any woman George Costanza dated in Seinfeld. Costanza was bald, fat and unemployed –but dated plenty of decent/good looking women.

Don’t get me wrong – I support some statement about marriage that includes loving a person without a specific concentration on physical appearance. I like that often these women are strong, in charge of the household and still manage to take care of their “crazy, scheming husband!”  But come on, why does this still work? Do oafy guys like to imagine that they have a chance with Remini instead of Roseanne? Do hot women like to imagine that they would be adored by a husband who knows he’s damn lucky to have her?

The real way to flip the question about this tropes success is to consider if it would be successful in reverse. Could America support the rise of an army of fat dopey wife and hot husband shows? Can we expect some of those hotties from CSI Miami to appear next season next to an overweight, underemployed, somewhat dim husband? For some reason I don’t see that happening. So what gives?

Tonight

Kimberly Dark

• Corporate Undies @ The Stud Bar. All it says on The Stud Bar’s website is “three plays” and yet I’m intrigued. You should be, too. The Stud has been hosting a smorgasbord of queer positive events from live bands to dance nights to a Heather’s re-enactment in drag. My money’s on this being equally entertaining. Details: Show starts at 9 PM, $5 cover at the Stud Bar on 399 9th Street and Harrison.
• Dykeotomy @ The Center for Sex and Culture. Again, I know very little about what this is except what the press kit says: “Join Kimberly Dark for four performances of Dykeotomy, a new solo performance for everyone who has gender – examined or not. In Dykeotomy, Dark narrates a tale of modern gender confusion – this time from the perspective of the gender-normative female lover! What does sexual orientation mean when gender shifts? What did it ever mean in the context of masculine lives in female-sexed bodies? Dark’s hilarious interactions with the audience regarding her confusion with dating are interspersed with her signature poetic stories — tightly crafted, highly moving social snapshots.” Details: The show opens on November 5 at 7 PM and runs through November 8; tickets range from $12-$20. Check the website for a full schedule. At The Center for Sex and Culture on 1519 Mission Street between 11th and South VanNess.
• Alternative Tentacles 30th Anniversary Incest-a-Thon @ Great American Music Hall. Legendary underground record label, Alternative Tentacles, celebrates 30 years with a showcase of iconic punk bands and then some. The series kicks off on Thursday with Jello Biafra and runs through Saturday. Check Great American Music Hall’s website for a complete line-up of bands and to purchase tickets online. Details: All shows start at 8 PM, $20 in advance, $22 at the door, or a $50 3-day pass; at the Great American Music Hall on 859 O’Farrell Street.

Friday

• Five & Diamond 2-Year Anniversary Party @ The Elbo Room. Start the evening by celebrating Five & Diamond’s 2 years of providing edgy local and independent fashion to San Francisco’s always original Mission district. Details: The celebration starts at 9 PM; tickets range from $10-$20 at the Elbo Room on 647 Valencia Street.
• Dinosaur Jr @ The Fillmore. Indie dinosaurs, Dinosaur Jr, drop by The Fillmore and bring along with them Lou Barlow and Violent Soho. Details: Show starts at 9 PM; $30 tickets at The Fillmore on 1805 Geary Boulevard and Fillmore.

Saturday

Monique Jenkinson aka Fauxnique

• Fauxnique @ ODC Theater. Performance artist, Monique Jenkinson, aka Fauxnique aka San Francisco’s most well-known faux drag queen presents 2 nights of performances entitled Luxury Items at the ODC Theater where she is completing an artist-in-residence. The ODC website tells you very little about what to expect, but you can make your own conclusions just based on the fact that “performance artist,” “luxury items,” and “faux drag queen” appear in the same sentence. Unfortunately for you, at press time both shows are sold out. If you’ve got connections or feel like canvassing for tickets in front of the theater, you might have a chance to get in. Otherwise, check the website for information on buying advance tickets for her February show. Details: Saturday show starts at 8 PM; Sunday show at 7 PM. Tickets (if you can get them) are $18 at the ODC Dance Commons on 351 Shotwell Street.

Sunday

• Pixies @ Fox Theater. Do the Pixies really need any introduction? They conclude their tour in the Bay Area by stopping by the Fox Theater in Oaktown. Looks like their Sunday and Monday shows are already sold out, but tickets are still available online for their Tuesday performance which may not be such a bad thing if you have Veteran’s Day off from work. Details: All shows start at 8 PM; tickets are $64.50 at The Fox Theater on 1807 Telegraph Avenue in Oakland.

Okay, you can call me lame because 2 of the events I listed here are sold out. So for your consideration, I leave you with this… Award-winning and openly gay playwright, Tony Kushner, is premiering his latest work at the Berkeley Repertory Theater. Best know for his play, Angels in America, his latest work features a series of short, one-act plays that span “Laura Bush, Nixon’s analyst, the queen of Albania and a host of real-life tax evaders, all adrift in an increasingly fragile world.” The play actually debuted on October 16 but runs through November 29. If you’re looking for something to fill your time on Saturday and Sunday, might I recommend this instead? Details: Check out the Berkeley Reprtory Theater website for a complete schedule and ticket information.

Photo: Michael Hicks

–“Pretty Girls” by Joe Jackson

In a way it kind of sounds like a bad sitcom set-up: The guy who was raised as a girl can’t talk to girls!

Seriously, I’m an awkward, nervous little boy when it comes to women…And it shows. I say stupid and random things, get all fidgety and twitchy, and stumble over my words. Then afterwards (the conversations don’t usually last long, probably much to the relief of everyone involved in the grueling ordeal), I can’t help but think “What the fuck is wrong with me?!”

I know this doesn’t just involve women whom I find attractive or am meeting for the first time, because my female friends have pointed out to me how oddly and rigidly I act sometimes. It has been said that I blurt wayward compliments (“Someone in this area smells really nice…Very floral!”), and stare at the floor or some object in the vicinity instead of looking at them directly while talking or hanging out. All of these are things I do in order to prevent from being read as finding them sexually interesting instead of just friendly (even if I’m not romantically or sexually interested at all). I have been thinking a lot about why I tend to behave in this manner, especially since I have been trying to be more social (well…to be more socially competent). And I think most of my issue in regards to acting around girls has a lot to do with my childhood struggle to pretend that I was a “girl” around my female peers.

It didn’t help my case much in the first place with my peers – both male and female – that I was the kind of kid who always had a book in his face to the point where I would walk into things. And even when I didn’t have a book in front of my I would still walk into things accidentally, but at least that I was still in the realm of “acceptable.” Yet I knew very early on that proclaiming that I was not a girl and thus should not be addressed and treated as such was not a good idea, and would have to be a secret that I would have to deny and cover up to the best of my abilities. I also knew that I would have to hide any and all romantic (and later sexual) feelings I would possibly have towards my female friends and peers. Bobby telling Susie that she’s pretty and wants to go out with her is considered “normal”, Angela telling Susie she’s pretty and wants to go out with her is not considered “normal”…Especially not in a Catholic school. I’m sure many queer women can relate to this. This all drove me to set behavioral guidelines for myself when socializing with girls so that I could avoid the suspicion of not being “normal” and therefore being rejected and taunted even more than just for being “a little odd.” Let’s face it, schoolgirls can be way crueler and frightening than schoolboys. I knew that many years before Mean Girls came out.

In my primary and secondary school years these guidelines I set up were for self-protection and I didn’t imagine there’d ever be a time where I wouldn’t need them. But I’m not in those times anymore. My peers have gotten older and more capable or understanding and I have the option of avoiding them completely; I don’t have to hide who I really am anymore except in a few special cases; and I am able to branch out on my own and meet women who are accepting, may be able to relate, and might actually be interested in forming a friendship or even a romantic relationship without me having to cover things up about myself. The problem is that after 10+ years of self-regulation, I can’t just turn it off, and therefore I end up acting like a malfunctioning robot or a shy, nervous little boy instead of a charming, socially-competent young man. Funny how these things turn out, eh?

Do you want experience in the constantly evolving world of online media? Do you have technical, writing or marketing skills that can be put to good use? Are you a queer person that doesn’t feel connected to the existing gay mainstream? The New Gay (www.thenewgay.net) is a publication for alternative queer culture, events, and ideas based here in Washington DC, and we need your help. As we continue to grow and expand, it is becoming more and more important for us to have a stronger online and real-world presence. And that is where you come in.

Position 1: Technical Intern

A TNG Technical Intern will help develop and launch a new design for the website, updating the layout and increasing the site’s ability to feature non-event local content. Applications should have graphic design and web programming skills. The ideal skill set would include: Photoshop, Illustrator, Flash, HTML, CSS, PHP, MySQL and WordPress. Anyone with any subset of these skills will be considered.

Position 2: Marketing Intern

We also need an intern who can help us with the simple tasks of publicizing our events and articles. This will include flyering throughout Washington DC, letting the local press know about our events and alerting the national press to articles of ours that deserve wider attention.

While these positions are at this time uncompensated, The New Gay provides valuable experience in the ever-growing field of web publishing among queer peers who share your discrepancies with mainstream gay culture.

Please email info@thenewgay.net with your resume and a short paragraph describing why you are qualified and what you seek to gain through becoming a member of The New Gay team.

Sometimes people go too far to impress others.

The Washington Animal Rescue League has been nice enough to become a TNG sponsor. However, we have to give them something back. This shelter constantly takes in and finds home for some of this city’s cutest and most loving animals (it’s where I got my dog Neko), and right now they can use our donations more than ever. Here is why:

Acting on a tip, the local sheriff department and the Humane Society of the United States raided a Lamar, Arkansas puppy mill and found 83 small-breed dogs and 6 cats in dire shape. The animals were malnourished, sick, infected with parasites and covered with feces. Though they are now at The Washington Animal Rescue League and out of immediate harm’s way, their road to recovery is far from over.

The League is keeping the animals properly fed and giving them the medical care and socialization that they need to become the companion animals they were always meant to be. However, such care is not cheap. The dogs exhausted the shelter’s supply of canned food within a day of being brought in, for instance, and they require special training to become accustomed to cruelty-free life in a home.

Still, it is a testament to the League’s dedication that all these dogs will be given special attention. You can donate to the League at this link if you would like to help the Arkansas dogs. They need every dollar they can get, but with your help, they can complete their lives as warm, clean, well-loved family pets.

Please consider donating money to the League at this link. Thank you. 

The Washington Animal Rescue League is a non-profit organization with a mission to find permanent, loving homes for adoptable homeless animals while providing them quality care. A recent $4 million renovation makes it a unique shelter, painstakingly designed from the animals’ point of view and one of the most humane animal shelters in the world. Since 1996, the League has also operated a full-service, low-cost Medical Center for the companion animals of low-income area residents, making it the only facility of its kind in the mid-Atlantic region. The Medical Center also treats companion animals of its adopters and offers free spaying and neutering to anyone living within the Beltway. Founded in 1914, WARL is the oldest animal shelter in the metropolitan area. The League is located at 71 Oglethorpe Street, NW, Washington, DC. For more information, visit www.warl.org.

Last Friday, The New Gay held its monthly Transformer party, a rock/pop/disco/glam night for discerning queers. This month we had a special guest in Cazwell, a talented gay rapper (and all around nice guy) from New York. (He’s the guy is in the caveman costume, for the record.) Thanks to everyone who came out. We look forward to see all of you, and some new faces, next time.

(Note: I’m having some software difficulties and am not able to pull up my playlist for the night right now. Soon as I can find it I’ll post it.)

The recent debate over allowing LGBT individuals and women into the clergy in the Anglican Communion has perhaps demonstrated this idea more strikingly than any time in recent memory. The Anglican Church is itself a complex organization. According to the Church of England’s website: “As a worldwide family of churches, the Anglican Communion has more than 70 million adherents in 38 Provinces spreading across 161 countries. Located on every continent, Anglicans speak many languages and come from different races and cultures. Although the churches are autonomous, they are also uniquely unified through their history, their theology, their worship and their relationship to the ancient See of Canterbury.”

While most closely associated with the Church of England, Anglicanism encompasses many different kinds of churches and the Anglican Communion is a much more loosely organized faith than the more hierarchical and centralized Roman Catholic Church, for instance. This level of diversity has allowed for many variations within Anglicanism, and has led to many ideological splits as well. The most visible in recent memory has been the debate over allowing LGBT peoples and women into the clergy, and subsequently to the position of bishop.

Seeing this, the Vatican, from which the Church of England originally split in the 16th Century, has seized the opportunity to attract some converts in recent weeks, appealing to conservative Anglicans who are bristling at the Church’s increased openness to queer individuals. Nick Squires of the Christian Science Monitor writes:

The Vatican launched an historic initiative Tuesday to make it easier for disgruntled Anglicans worldwide to join the Roman Catholic Church. The church said the move was not a swipe at the Anglicans but it could nevertheless result in hundreds of thousands of churchgoers unhappy with openly gay and female clerics defecting to Rome.

Pope Benedict XVI gave his approval to a new framework to bring back into the fold Anglicans who oppose their church’s liberal stance on gay marriage and the ordination of women priests and gay bishops while allowing them to retain some of their separate religious traditions.

And it appears that there’s a very good chance that their tactics will be successful. Avril Ormsby quotes Stephen Parkinson, the director of the Forward in Faith (FiF) group, a worldwide association of Anglicans opposed to the ordination of women priests or bishops, when she writes:

“The diocese in Papua New Guinea would be an obvious one, there are one or two dioceses in America which might possibly, and there is certainly a diocese in Australia that might consider it,” he added.

Individual dioceses would decide whether and how to make such a conversion, FiF said. Local worshippers who disagreed with such a move would be left without a diocese, the group added.

Clearly, this is a less than ideal situation for the liberal members of more traditional congregations, including quite a few queer people, I’d imagine, who would essentially be left behind and left without a church of their own if such a scenario were to play out.

The independence that Anglican diocese are afforded has led to some other interesting trends worldwide. One of the most intriguing concerns sub-Saharan Africa, a region known for its hostility towards homosexuals, a hostility that is often fostered by religious leaders. However, despite their dislike of gays in the clergy, many feel it is unlikely that African Anglicans will convert to Catholicism:

Early indications from African bishops are that most Anglicans, despite their fierce opposition to homosexuality, will be saying “thanks but no thanks” to Rome’s new offer, largely because of the autonomy that they enjoy within the Anglican church.

This is an ironic view, given the origins of so much of the homophobia on the continent. As I wrote in an article on the gay rights struggle in sub-Saharan Africa, one of the sources of anti-gay feelings in the region is anti-colonialist/anti-Western feelings and these feelings rely on the argument that homosexuality is a European lifestyle imported to Africa. It’s interesting then that the same desire for autonomy from the West that fuels such homophobia also serves as the primary motivation for African Anglicans to stay with an increasingly gay-friendly institution.

The Anglican Church isn’t the only denomination of Christianity within the international community dealing with LGBT-related issues at the moment. While Corey has written before about how the Lutheran Church in the United States has been moving slowly towards acceptance of queer individuals and couples, the Church of Sweden, the largest Lutheran Church in the world, recently voted to allow its priests to wed same-sex couples in new gender-neutral church ceremonies. This decision comes after official legislation was introduced earlier this year allowing same-sex marriage in the legal context, and is being hailed as a big step forward in terms of marriage equality.

Meanwhile, the International Lesbian Gay Association’s (Europe) annual conference was held in the Southern European island nation of Malta last week, and religion was a main topic of the conversation. The conference allowed individuals to speak on the conditions in their country regarding religious and cultural barriers to equality, spokesperson Bernard Muscat said:

“The possibility to network with people facing similar barriers in other countries allows one to gain perspectives that are critical to the attainment of LGBT equality goals,” Muscat said.

Religion and culture will be tackled through the conference as two important determinants that directly influence the way a country deals with minority issues. Participants will share their experiences with regards to religious and cultural barriers faced in their countries.

“Participants from a mix of cultures and a number of religions will be present during the conference, with activists coming from as far as Kyrgyzstan, Armenia and Georgia. A number of participants from Northern Africa and the Middle East will also be participating,” Muscat said.

While we may continue to debate what role religion should play in the politics of the gay rights movement worldwide, it is clear that religion does play a role. It’s import to remember that it is never as cut and dry as “us vs. them” – there are many many religious and spiritual queer folks around the world who wish to have their equal civil rights and continue to practice their religious beliefs unfettered at the same time. Continued engagement from both member of the religious community and the activist community will hopefully ensure that everyone’s needs are met as best as possible going forward.

• One possibility for those of us who have grown up with far more exposure to porn than our parents’ and grandparents’ generations, speculative porn might be a way to shake things up in an otherwise bland porno landscape that we’ve trod on far too many times over the years. TheNewGay has actually covered this possibility before.

• By that same token, speculative porn sometimes offers us more narrative to situate the sex in, which definitely has its appeal. Everyone knows erotic movie scenes are super hot primarily because we’re invested in the characters despite the fact that we rarely get as much sex out of them as we really want. As a sidenote here I’d like to point to the upcoming X-Files porn tribute, The Sex Files, has many x-philes excited because the trailers have indicated it may be far better plot-wise than last summer’s filmic clunker, Fight the Future.

• For geeksters like me, I think scifi porn may simply be one more manifestation of the sexualization of everything. From school to sports, public transportation, the workplace, the armed forces, libraries, bathrooms, kitchens, mini-golf, the national park system, bowling, pizza delivery – everything can be porned. Therefore, since I like science fiction and science fiction is in my life, there can be porn of it. Incidentally, this is also how I rationalize the popularity of tokusatsu porn in Japan. For my non-geek, non-Asiaphile readers (do I even have any of those? I suspect not…), that would be porn in the style of Power Rangers and Godzilla, using oddly similar unrealistic costumes and special effects. Yeah….

Hustler's This Ain't Star Trek XXX features the fan-favorite villain, Khan Noonien Singh

• It was suggested to me while talking to people about this column that in the case of porn specifically targeted for consumption by LGBT people, science fiction provides a venue for the breaking out of rigid heteronormativity, which I think is very interesting. In other words, if one of the involved sex partners is a robot or computer program or an alien for whom sex and gender are constructed in radically different ways from us, do the same categories of heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual still have any meaning?

• Perhaps the most interesting explanation though is the idea that on some level all porn is speculative in that it is a fantasy we’re not actually living. The obvious examples might be the straight male jerking off watching a woman-woman sex scene, the lesbian woman masturbating to NC-17 Sam/Dean fanfic, or just about anyone getting turned on by images of people tangled up in crazy sexual positions that aren’t at all comfortable in real life, but really all pornographic scenes are lived vicariously by their consumes since they will never experience those exact scenes with their own bodies. Perhaps scifi porn then just takes that reality to its logical extreme by foregrounding the implausibility of the scenarios and feeding on the voyeuristic surreality kink that most of us seem to have developed these days whether we know it or not.

In conclusion, for anyone whose interest I’ve peaked but don’t know where to turn to dip their toe into the speculative porn world, I would suggest The Nifty Erotic Stories Archive as a jumping-off point. There are “Science Fiction or Fantasy” sub-sections under “Bisexual Stories,” “Lesbian Stories,” and “Gay Stories.” Under “Transgender Stories” there is a “Mind-control” section and a “Magic & Science Fiction” section. There is also a large area of the site devoted to bestiality stories but I have to draw my personal boundaries somewhere even in the name of investigation….

1) Obsessively refreshing the Bangor Daily News, which was posting unofficial results as they came in.

2) Obsessively chatting with friends who were also just waiting to hear, and analyzing every aspect of the results as they came in.

3) Obsessively flipping to CNN whenever Keith Olbermann decided it was time to talk about baseball and/or his voice got to loud.

4) Hoping that when the Yes vote started creeping above 50% that somehow the No vote would suddenly swing back up.

But I’m not a Maine native; I grew up in New Orleans, which is the exact opposite of Maine in a lot of ways (though probably not as many as people would think). After Hurricane Katrina, my family had to move to Houston, Texas. At that point, though, I had already been attending college in Maine for two years, and since my mother’s entire family lives in the state, I was spending good portions of my summer vacations there as well, and had been for many years.

So when I didn’t have New Orleans to go home to, Maine became the place. Soon after the hurricane my parents bought a house there, so when school was out, I would head there, rather than trek to Houston, a place that felt completely soulless compared to both Maine and New Orleans. Maine became my second home, and one of my favorite places. Except in the winter. I’m sorry, 90 inches of snow is just unnecessary.

When the Maine state legislature first passed gay marriage, I was unbelievably excited. When Governor John Baldacci said that he would sign the law, I was even more excited. Maine has some extremely conservative areas, and for that many legislators and the governor to risk alienating them in order to make a strong stand for equal rights really meant something. Unfortunately, Maine has the people’s veto option–and those opposed to gay marriage wasted no time collecting the 55,000 signatures necessary to get that onto the ballot.

Over the past few months, the Yes on 1 campaign has been resorting to scare tactics in their commercials, preying on people’s irrational fears of explicit lessons about gay sex would be taught to children in school. The No on 1 campaign maintained a focus on equality and relied on heartfelt messages from people of all ages. One of my personal favorites is this speech by Philip Spooner, a World War II veteran:

Stories like Spooner’s and the stories of my friends who still live in Maine and have spent hours canvassing and phonebanking, along with Maine being one of my homes,  makes this election incredibly personal for me. Marriage in Maine is important to me because it means that Lindsey, who started canvassing at 6 AM this morning, could marry her long-term girlfriend. It means that I could marry my girlfriend in my parent’s backyard.

When the people of Maine voted not to repeal Maine’s laws preventing discrimination against LGBT people in 2006, it was an exciting moment to end another hard-fought battle. But, as I mentioned before, that battle was so close, I was shocked when the legislature actually passed gay marriage. And I should have been less surprised that the people of Maine voted to repeal the gay marriage law yesterday. But for some reason, maybe since we had done it before, I thought we would be able to do it this time.  But we couldn’t. When the numbers finally came in, we couldn’t, but that doesn’t mean that Maine won’t try again.

But hey, Maine did legalize medicinal marijuana last night.

ZOOM Urban Lesbian Excursions

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to join them for an exciting interactive game of Operation Spy. Immerse yourself in the spy world by decoding secret messages, planning daring escapes and answering spy trivia for a chance to win prizes. This hour-long interactive experience combines live-action, video, themed environments, special effects, and hands-on activities to create a series of reality-based challenges. Upon completing the mission get a complementary glass of The White Knight drink for all your diligent intelligence work. There will also be themed-food available from the award-winning Zola Kitchen via the bar menu.

Details:

Saturday, November 7
International Spy Museum
800 F St., NW
6:30 p.m. – 9:30 p.m.
Tickets are $20 – Advance ticket sales online only.

Gossip with We Are the World and MEN

It was approaching midnight, and I found myself at The Edge in the Castro. Sunday night, and it was surprisingly slow in a neighborhood that’s usually busting at the seams with shrieky gay boys getting drunk at Badlands (a.k.a. “Sadlands”) or just the standard parade of partiers streaming in and out of the gay bars. Besides me, there were maybe four guys at The Edge—the two bartenders and a couple of random sad-sacks sitting at the end of the bar. “Not getting laid tonight,” I observed. At that point, Tracy Chapman began playing on the stereo.

“Cause finally the tables are starting to turn. Talkin’ ‘bout a revolution.”

Stay with me here. I quote this song for a reason.

Just a few hours prior, I and a packed house of other screaming queers had been dancing our asses off at the Regency Ballroom in San Francisco. The occasion? The Gossip was in town, hot off the heels of their latest album, Music for Men. Flanked by guitarist, Brace Paine, and drummer, Hannah Blilie, the ferocious Beth Ditto was a mess of flaming orange hair and an emerald green dress, cinched at the bust by black spandex threatening to make her already ample bosom spill out into the crowd. “Now them’s some knockers,” I thought to myself.

I had never heard of Gossip until about a week ago when my editor asked me to review their show. Among other things, he suggested that I look at it from the perspective of “how the worlds of indie music and queer folk intersect.” Yeah, sure, easy enough, right? And yet here I sit, impatiently tapping my keyboard with my index finger. Where does this fit in the continuum of queer indie music?

My conundrum is rooted in my own refusal to call the Gossip punk rock in spite of how the anti-ingenue is depicted in the press. While certainly not pop music, it comes across as more retro-70s soul plus moog with a dash of garage thrown in. At times they sound like they’re cut from the same cloth as Le Tigre and the Scissor Sisters. To me, punk is dissonant. It growls. It’s guitars played wrong and strung together in a slap-dash attempt at crafting a melody. Of course, I’m totally paraphrasing (and weakly stereotyping) a genre of angry, rebellious music rooted in the 1970s which is why, in 2009, it’s also, well, kinda obsolete. So let’s just eschew this whole idea that the Gossip is in-your-face punk and leave that mess to the greedy A&R guys who still see it as a way to market fresh-faced rock moppets with colored hair. Just a few songs before Ditto took the stage, MEN front-man-woman, JD Samson, declared that Gossip saved her life. And that is what stuck with me throughout the night.

Upon arriving at the Regency Ballroom, I surveyed the scene at the doors. Typical San Francisco street fashion. But since this was an event, there was also lots of black. Sheer shirts—on the men. Shorty-shorts and the type of eye makeup that would make Siouxsie Sioux proud (again, on the men). Inside I found myself standing behind a cadre of pear-shaped Latino gay guys who looked like they had found the last known Chess King store left on earth. It was an extremely multi-ethnic crowd all around. The opening band was We Are the World, and all I’ll say about them is that they looked and sounded like electro hip-hop ninjas. I think I saw them during my sophomore year in college as part of someone’s communications studies master’s thesis…

Even though the gay Latino contingent found them pretty rockin’, all the other cool kids in black and geometric bobs looked rather nonplussed. In between We Are the World and MEN, I met a meek lesbian hipster with a Caesar haircut who moonlighted as a DJ for a radio program focusing on queer positive music and social issues. No surprise, she was ready to pee on herself for Beth Ditto. Then MEN took the stage and ran through a few songs peppered with references to political humping and SILENCE=DEATH stage props. I was a bit surprised to see these slogans still being used in this day and age, but then I realized something. We’ve still got a long way to go.

There must’ve been a good 30 minutes that passed between MEN’s last song and Gossip taking the stage. When Ditto finally did make her entrance, she asked, “Any gays here..?” Now I’ve never been one to need earplugs at a concert, but at that precise moment in time a gazillion ear muffs would not have fended off the deafening roar that went up through the crowd. Bitches, it was on. Disarmingly sweet in between songs, Ditto’s voice packed the power of a generation of queer boys and girls who had long past hit the glass ceiling that began and ended with a mirror ball. “This song is for all the men who are in love with each other,” Ditto declared as if any explanation was needed. And much of that love was reserved for Ditto, the connection between singer and fans never so palpable. If the fat guy with a rainbow t-shirt, hands in the air, and lost in the ecstasy of the moment was any indication, it was hard not to believe that JD Samson wasn’t the only one who was being saved by the Gossip that night. Even for an old stodgy codger like me, I couldn’t help but appreciate the absolute unashamed openness in which we were allowed to express ourselves. Queer music, for queer people. Do you get that? I guarantee you that nothing like this happened at the Treasure Island Music Festival the week before.

After the Gossip closed the show with “Heavy Cross,” Ditto literally embraced the crowd at the front of the stage causing me to get crushed in a stampede of 5’5” lesbians rushing at her at once. There was an encore, of course. Ditto reemerged in an all-black spandex number before launching into a cover of Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” It was oddly appropriate. At the end, Ditto led the crowd into an a cappella rendition of Queen’s “We Are the Champions.” It was a fitting end to a concert that seemed to address the problem of being queer through the salve of music.

In retrospect, it would be easy to take potshots at Beth Ditto. There’s been no shortage of fat girls who can sing. From white-girl 60’s belter, Mama Cass Elliot, to the ever-widening girth of Aretha Franklin, to Jennifer Hudson’s anthemic portrayal of Effie in Dreamgirls. Personally I like to think of Ditto as more like Meatloaf with sass. And really, I mean that as a compliment. Because the road to divadom is littered with the old, tired carcasses of bubble-headed pop princesses whose steel pipes and ear-splitting vocal range are the staple of extended dance mixes everywhere. And whether it be old standbys like Madonna who everyone in the gay community is supposed to be indebted to (really, given that she’s still got a career well past her relevance, can we not call it even?) or Pink’s disingenuous attempts at distancing herself from her contemporaneous nemesis, Britney Spears, there’s always this need to pander to the gay community. Most recently Lady Gaga dropped her name into the bucket. Their struggle is the struggle to be famous, and it drives me fucking nuts. Instead, gimme the zaftig hard-rockin’ baby-mama with a set of boobies that can knock you out cold. Because while the shrieky gay boys at Badlands are content to dance their lives away to whichever dance diva is ruling the turntables at any given, I’ll spend the night turning the tables with the Gossip to get this revolution moving.

Heavy Cross

GOSSIP | MySpace Music Videos

Karl Jones, Shea Van Horn, and Bil Todd are teaming up to bring a new monthly party to DC’s gay nightlife.  Wanting to introduce an event that “feels like disco dancing in a seedy bathhouse,” they worked with the owners of the Green Lantern to create RAW, a night of sleaze and desire set to a disco beat. RAW happens on the first Friday of each month beginning this November.

The music of RAW, spun by DJs Van Horn and Todd, will feel decidedly retro, throbbing, and a little sinister.  The two plan to sidestep the mainstream and opt for underground and alternative electro, disco, italo-house, new wave, and goth; featuring artists like Soft Cell, In Flagranti, Skatt Bros, Gino Soccio, Nitzer Ebb, Ssion, DAF, Glass Candy, and the Revolting Cocks.

The spirit of the night is to evoke the late 70s and early 80s, when going to gay bars felt a little dangerous.  Imagine squeezing past groping strangers, feeling hot breath on your neck, hearing filthy whispers in the dark, gyrating to synth-heavy disco beats, and making out on the dance floor or possibly in a bathroom stall.  The RAW promoters can’t guarantee that any of this will happen to those who come to their party, but it’s what they’re going for – a sordid celebration of decadence and outrageousness.

Details:

Friday, November 6
The Green Lantern
1353 Green Court NW (Side Entrance)
10:00 p.m. – 3:00 a.m.
21+
No Cover

While “Will and Grace” and other shows have slowly opened the door to gay characters on prime time TV, they are most often neutered, obnoxious stereotypes or punchlines. The fact is, while live action TV still has lightyears to go in terms of gay inclusiveness, a handfull of underground cartoons have featured well-rounded, sympathetic, realistic portrayals of gay charactesr that put any of the major networks to shame. While mainstays like Waylon Smithers, Stewie Griffin and Mr. Garrison are most often cited, there are whole cadres of such ‘toons that aren’t lauded quite as often.

The list below is far from comprehensive, as it is drawn from my rapidly fading memory and unfortunately doesn’t include many queer lady or trans characters. But it hopefully will expose you to some great shows you might not have known about, and some equally great gay characters that will make you feel a little less invisible on television.

The final two entries on this list count as, in my opinon, the finest examples of gay couples in television history. (Sorry, Keith and David.) The ones leading up aren’t always so seroius, but at least they’re there.

1-8, The Entire Cast of “Drawn Together.”

‘Drawn Together,’ Comedy Central’s animated spoof of Real World, thrives on stereoptypes. But instead of archetypes like “the virgin mormon” or “drunken frat boy,” this show brings together conventions of animation like a picachu-style Japanese creature, an over-the-hill Betty Boop type and an idiot superhero. Though one of its character, a Link-type video game protagonist, is explicitly gay, everyone of the characters featured swings more ways than an topless octogenarian on a merry go round. The aforementioned superhero’s mild-mannered alterego has an affair with the Link type, for instance, and a number of orgy sequences feature the entire cast fucking each other.

However, the show’s most salient sexual sequence is still one of a sapphic saliva swap. Princess Clarabell, “Drawn Togethers’ sheltered Disney heroine, is brought our of her shell by the mystery solving Foxxy Love with a hot interracial french kiss. I was unable to find the accompanying song, “This Black Chick’s Tongue” on Youtube, but it does exist. I can hardly claim that in further episodes the two of them settle down together and pursue family or marriage, but it is nice to see comedy central treat all types of sexuality as graphically and irreverently as they do the heteroes.

9. Zoltan Zeramarovich, “The Critic.” 

The only trans character I could find, Zoltan is the son of restaurant owner Vlada and is revealed here to be an FTM. While I think the joke here is more about the announcers lack of tact than the boy’s trans identity, I wish I that a show so usually excellent as “The Critic”  hadn’t thrown out a cheap  punchline like that.

However, The “peepee poopie” song he sings here has made me laugh since I first saw it 15 years ago. Dare you not to giggle…

10. Him, “Powerpuff Girls.” 

Genndy Tartakovsky will hopefully be known as this generations’ Chuck Jones for his work in creating shows like “Dexter’s Laboratory:” and the unbelievably beautiful (and underrated) “Samurai Jack.” But his most accessible work is “The Powerpuff Girls,” the surreal and occasionally racy ode to three crime fighting little girls with superpowers. As one might assume from a show about a town solely kept safe by a trio of toddlers with bed times, PPG revels in contradictions. The smartest character on the show is a monkey, the most inept is the town mayor, and a subterranean force of pure evil, so dangerous that he can only be known as “Him,” is a mincing, lilting queen whose limp mannerisms and effete vocal delivery are reminscent of Shelly Duval with a throat full of helium.

Yet aside from all the obvious hints that he is gay (the bathing, the aerobics, the wrists) he is also the most formidable villain in the city of townesville. Not every gay character has to be a football player, they just have to be respectable.

11 – 12. Fluffy and Uranus, “Duckman.” 

I don’t have much evidence that these characters are gay beyond their pastel hues and vocal tones, but I’m also pretty sure that these minor characters in the show about a Jason Alexander-voiced, extremely grouchy private eye just don’t live together and hold hands because they’re buddies. They are the program’s answer to Bert and Ernie — eternally sunny, ambigously gay voices of optimism — and as such they are frequently dispatched of in ways to rival the many deaths of Kenny McCormick. But who hasn’t wanted to execute an eternally happy gay couple? Be honest…

13 – 14.  Walter and Perry, “Home Movies.” 

“Home Movies,” the cartoon about an overly precoucious 9 year old with a filmmaking hobby, is  consistently successful when it comes to teasing out the little quirks and inevitabilities of childhood. The show manages to be constantly funny and endearing without ever sugarcoating, and this applies double to resident gay couple Walter and Perry. A takeoff on those pairs of little kids that are never apart, the duo was never ambiguous as much as honestly, openly, exaltingly in love. Whether canoodling together under an apple cart or plotting marriage, as above, I count Walter and Perry as the second best gay couple in TV history and I hope they are still very happy together as they enter college.

15 – 16.  Gus and Wally, “Mission Hill.”

If Perry and Walter are my second favorite TV gay couple, than Gus and Wally are my first. They are the elderly residents of the apartment building at the center of Mission Hill, a brightly colored and sorely missed (by me) depiction of life as urban gentrifier. In a neighborhood that borrows its name from San Francisco’s Mission and layout from Chicago’s Wicker Park, a highschool aged boy moves in with his older brother and is exposed to the diversity of life in the city. He is shocked to see this elderly couple making out in the elevator in the show’s first episode, but quickly gets over it and goes on to find out how the two met in  later episode. (above.)  Though they are physically mismatched and bicker frequently (often about one’s attraction to David Niven) they are the only televised example that I know of an affectionate, sexually active gay couple who have made it through the years together and are still very much in love.

Libby of Kostume Karaoke is going to be at Phase 1 for a night like no other. Come in your own crazy costume or borrow one from Libby and drink lots of cheap beer!

Details:

Cover: $5 to benefit EPIC DC
$1 donation per song – $3 to make EPIC or Phase 1 staff sing.
Specials: Bud Light Beeramid:
7-7:30- only 25 cents
7:30-8- only 50 cents
8-9- only $1.00
9-10- only $2.00
Then $3.00 all night long.
Men should arrive with a female escort.