Sixteen tonnes of die-cast cruelty!

The Hubris Magazine is back! The dust has settled after last issue’s milestone tenth edition and, with a slightly new look, Hubris moves into its second exciting decade!

New features join old favourites and, thanks to the swell of new subscribers since issue 10, there’s now an entire page dedicated to readers’ letters.

For the full list of features and how to purchase, please click here!

Ejector assumes the form of a silver “Dualit” four-slice toaster, complete with authentic detailing and a short power cable/plug. Though cast in blue/gray plastic, the outside surface of the toaster is painted metallic silver. There are no features to speak of, but come on, it’s a toaster.

Of course, the idea of a Transformers toaster is nothing new. Artist Andrew Wildman has cheekily depicted one on a couple of occasions in the 1980s Marvel UK Transformers comic. Only now, with their billion-dollar franchise behind them, has Hasbro had the croissants to realise a robot/toaster in toy form.

Ejector transforms into a four-armed decidedly devilish robot. The grey and silver colour scheme remains, but now with the addition of red “heating element” details.

While without any weapons, Ejector’s gargoyle-like face is enough of an arsenal to repel any would-be attackers. One nice touch, however, is that the toaster’s power cable becomes the robot’s tail. Ejector is an uneasy combination of adorable/hideous in robot mode.

Ejector fits with the rest of the Transformers Revenge of the Fallen line like a slice of white bread in a wholemeal loaf. In fact, it’d probably be more at home in a GI Joe Snake Eyes’s Dream Kitchen playset. But if you’d like a unique addition to your collection, then Ejector is recommended as part of a balanced breakfast.

Verdict: three stars out of five.

Jolt (the blue Autobot in the film who was just “there” from time to time) assumes the form of a licensed Chevrolet “Volt” electric/hybrid car. Comparable with the rest of the licensed-vehicle Autobots from the Transformers Revenge of the Fallen range, Jolt features authentic body styling and appropriate logos.

There are a lot of seams across the shell of the vehicle mode, and Jolt is one of the few cars that has a split windscreen. The dark blue colouration and tinted windows do a decent job of minimising the effect of the joins.

Jolt’s transformation is actually the most straightforward of the range. It’s a refreshing change! Though not simple as such, the engineering is logical enough so that Jolt can switch modes in a matter of seconds.

In robot mode, Jolt retains its blue colour scheme. The same translucent dark blue plastic used for the car’s windows is used for the upper torso of the robot. Though the dark colours obscure the mould’s detailing, it’s a stylish look all the same.

Jolt’s weapons are two bright turquoise “electro-whips” which swing out from the sides of the arms at the twist of a switch. The whips themselves are quite nasty, complete with a series of barbs and pointed end. Jolt may be environmentally friendly, but its whips aren’t exactly child-friendly!

Criminally underused in Transformers Revenge of the Fallen, Jolt is one of the better designs and the best so far of the “Deluxe-Class” Autobots from the toy range.

Verdict: four stars out of five.

Greasepit’s petrol station, mainly blue with some yellow and grey pieces, consists of two fuel pumps, a repair bay, and a convenience store! Details are quite lacking, though, and the shop and garage part are merely illustrated as labels on the front of the petrol station.

But don’t let Greasepit fool you. Don’t assume that this Decepticon is selling fuel. His role is to actually syphon fuel from unsuspecting drivers (assuming their cars are small enough) and keep it for himself. It’s all very “Buster Witwicky and the Carwash of Doom”.

As with the other Micromaster Stations, Greasepit’s petrol station comes with a detachable ramp which can snap onto the connectors on any other Micromaster base. With Greasepit, the ramp can be attached in two different places, but the shop sign and fuel pumps block any access.

The petrol station opens out into an “Assault Tower” (as it is named in the instructions) to reveal all manner of rotating, non-firing weapons. The set includes a missile that can fit over a rotating bracket. At the top of the tower, a pair of spotlights fold out. There’s also a space for Greasepit himself to use to control the tower.

Greasepit is the same toy as the Off Road Patrol’s Mudslinger, cast this time in grey and yellow. As well as the new colours, “4WD” labels have been added to each side of the monster truck mode.

Greasepit has more to offer than his fellow Decepticon Micromaster Station. The innocuous “disguise” mode and gadgetry of the assault mode gives this Transformer plenty of mileage.

Verdict: three stars out of five.

Pat Lee’s artwork on Transformers Armada shows up an inherent lack of any kind of familiarity with the characters. Unlike his artwork on Dreamwave’s “Generation One” Transformers title, it’s clear Pat Lee struggles with depicting the Armada Transformers as characters and bases their designs, unimaginatively, on the toys.

The artwork is obnoxious with its constant repetition of panels; the same pictures are zoomed and/or re-framed and passed off as sequentials. Another problem is that the huge roster of colourists means that certain characters (like the Mini-Con Military Team) spontaneously change colour between pages.

Deadlines might be tight for a monthly comic book, but none of the monthly Transformers comics published since 1984 have suffered like this.

Almost a throwback to the 1980s fashion of pushing product ahead of a good story, Simon Furman’s script is a chore to read. The main plot of “Rise of the Decepticons” is the ability of one team of Mini-Cons and their ability to combine their three jet modes into a sword… because that’s exactly what their toys do. What doesn’t help is Pat Lee’s rendering of a “sword” that looks uncannily like three toy airplanes jammed together.

“Rise of the Decepticons” represents the nadir of Dreamwave’s Transformers Armada series and so best forgotten, providing that those repeated panels aren’t left imprinted on retinas.

Verdict: one star out of five.

“Rise of the Decepticons” (44 pp) was originally published by Dreamwave Productions in Transformers Armada #6-7 (December 2002-January 2003)

*Note: Title take from Pedigree’s “Transformers Armada Annual 2004″

1. Mixmaster (2009) (N)

2. Soundwave (2009) (N)
3. Back to School with Transformers Revenge of the Fallen (N)
4. Double-Page Dissection (2)
5. Airwave (N)
6. Wheelie (2009) (N)
7. Skids (2009) (N)
8. “First Contact” (N)
9. “I Am Optimus Prime” (N)
10. “The Enemy Within” (N)
11. Mudflap (N)

The Autobot/Decepticon war on Earth is interrupted not by dissension in the ranks, but by the malfunction of the Ark’s sentient core computer called “Auntie” who decides, quite unilaterally, to settle the Transformers’ differences for them.

As the two leaders of each faction face trial, the story turns its focus to Ravage and Windcharger as they team up to defeat Auntie.

Amidst the humorously overworked dialogue and tension, writer Simon Furman furnishes the two lead characters with ample personality and charm. And luckily for readers, Windcharger and Ravage are two of the most affordable Transformers toys. Hasbro should be pleased.

The Transformers themselves are, again, portrayed very closely to their toy incarnations by the artists. The novelty of this style is beginning to wear thin and, at times, the artwork appears hurried.

Just as “Raiders of the Last Ark” finds its feet with its plot and starts to get intriguing (even the title poses an interesting question that never gets answered), it ends abruptly as though all concerned were suddenly told to slam the book shut and move on to something else.

Considering the young age of Marvel UK’s Transformers title, it’s best just to put “Raiders of the Last Ark” down to teething problems.

Verdict: two stars out of five.

“Raiders of the Last Ark” (22 pp) was originally published by Marvel UK in Transformers #18-21 (May-June 1985)

As the writer of Armada’s initial arc, Chris Sarracini re-writes history at the same time as introducing the Mini-Cons. Of course, the Mini-Cons are the line-wide gimmick of Hasbro’s 2002 toy range, and thus are required to be featured prominently in any related media. The premise, then, of Armada is that the Autobots and Decepticons are separately looking for Mini-Cons to augment their own powers. Despite this, the plot is surprisingly natural and the script contains flair.

Seemingly aimed at a younger audience, Chris’s script is accessible and undemanding. And at times it’s genuinely funny. Other times it’s quite juvenile, but on balance an entertaining read. Sometimes it makes for a refreshing change when Transformers doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Artist James Raiz generously portrays the Transformers as powerful and over-sized machines. There is a real sense of scale and wonder. The Decepticons, particularly, are rendered as gigantic and menacing brutes compared with the Mini-Cons. In keeping with the lighter-toned mood of the comic, the colouring is rich and vibrant.

“First Contact” is friendly in its approach and is more than successful in its mission to introduce the story to a new generation of readers. Transformers has never been this easygoing.

Verdict: three stars out of five.

“First Contact” (110 pp) was originally published by Dreamwave Productions in Transformers Armada #1-5 (July-December 2002)

Airwave’s airport, moulded in grey, blue and orange plastics, is essentially a small hanger with a runway at the front. Details are on the sparse side, but there’s an orange air traffic control tower and glossy sticker to represent the departures lounge. According to the sticker, this is runway 32. The Decepticons clearly have their targets set on international hubs.

The key selling point of the Micromaster Stations is the inclusion of a detachable ramp that can connect to various parts of all other Micromaster playsets. Thus, any myriad configurations of a Micromaster city can be enjoyed. Like the Micromasters in general, it’s a concept borrowed heavily from rival toy range, Micro Machines.

The airport transforms into a missile battery, complete with two orange ICBMs. This mode, to be fair, is very poor. The missiles do not fire, there are no wheels for mobility. It’s actually very characterless and static.

Airwave is the same mould as the Air Strike Patrol’s Nightflight in new colours. Airwave can either stand foolishly inside the space underneath the missile housings of the battle station mode, or, in jet mode, can attempt to land on the runway of the airport mode. Superior brakes would be essentially for a safe landing.

According to Airwave’s Tech Specs on the packaging, this Decepticon, with a rating of “1″ is the weakest of the Decepticons. How apt.

Verdict: two stars out of five.

On the surface, “The Enemy Within” is a typical rank-breaking tale: Brawn, a heroic Autobot has turned almost feral due to an electrical accident, and Starscream, an evil Decepticon, the same. As the story builds momentum, these two disparate plots soon join for an old-fashioned, straight-laced good vs evil showdown. It’s a shallow plot, but it does its job well.

For fans of action stories, “The Enemy Within” features plenty of drive. The action is fast-paced and surprisingly violent (Brawn’s actions, at one point, result in actual human fatalities) for a toy-based comic. Characterisation (and dialogue, for that matter) of both Autobots and Decepticons is anything but subtle, but at least both camps are explored equally.

As with “Man of Iron”, artists John Ridgway and Mike Collins keep their portrayals of the Transformers as close to their toy forms as possible. Again, there is a lot of clumsiness and some scenes, which Hasbro (the company that makes Transformers) are likely most happy with, look like toys being smashed into each other by giant, invisible hands. Nevertheless, there’s a lot of detail, and when the script needs to jolt the reader, the artwork delivers.

“The Enemy Within” is Transformers at its most elemental—good robots vs evil ones with characters on each side to cheer for. The foundations are there, but they’re just not yet deep enough.

Verdict: three stars out of five.

“The Enemy Within” (44 pp) was originally published by Marvel UK in Transformers #13-17 (March-May 1985)