I recently took the MBTI test again, and yet again, I came out an INFJ. I thought I had moved beyond some of those characteristics, but evidently not enough. There’s certainly still a part of me that’s romantic about the past…which I guess is what led me to write today, at a time in my life when I am far less inspired than I was in my youth. Five years doesn’t seem that long ago, but it was the beginning of the path that took me where I am today. My post-college twenties. Some of the most revolutionary years of my life at a time when I didn’t think I had any of those left. Your post-college twenties are some scary years because you’re no longer on a set path; your accomplishments are no longer measured by credits earned. It’s also easy to regress during those years. On your most difficult days, you really want to be a kid again. You want someone to hold your hand through this life change, the first life change in which no one is there to do that for you. But things level out, and like a game of Perfection, you find your place after a series of shake-ups. I finally feel that I’ve found my place, but it wasn’t without risks, failures, and a lot of anxiety.

I think too much about the past and how I got here. It all seems so random, particularly how I fell in love with the woman who will be my wife in a month. A month. It was three years ago today, April 23, 2010, when we met for the first time, a moment that bloomed from a close online friendship that itself was a few weeks old. I can’t overstate the role our town, Athens, played in that romance. From the concert at which we met (Modern Skirts at the Caledonia), our first dates (coffee, swinging, and groceries at 5 Points, Mama’s Boy when they still served dinner), my apartment in which we now reside, and all that we shared in those walls, especially that summer.

Modern Skirts are coming to an end this year. This was the band I saw most in my college years, the band that spurred love and so many memories. Their last 40 Watt show brought so many of those memories back to mind. While I’ll miss their shows and music immensely, it somehow seems fitting for this moment, when so much is ending and beginning. I’ll be 30 next year, and I’ll be a married man finally holding down a career (meaning the first job that uses my college degree I’ll be holding for more than a year). I don’t know what that means yet, but I’m ready to be done with my twenties and onto new beginnings. I’m ready to reclaim my idealism, even if it means the occasional self-indulgent blog blabbering about how I love I am with the world and the people I share it with. I promise it won’t be too often. I can’t be 20 all the time. I have work to do. And that makes me happy, too.

Confident. That she would love to start a brand new.

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My fiancée and I saw fun. at The Tabernacle this past Friday night as part of a Valentine’s Day weekend in Atlanta. Between them and The Format, it was my tenth or fifteenth time at one of their shows…I’ve lost count. The reason I go back again and again is because they’ve never been on a slump. Each time I’ve seen them, it always seems like they’re preparing for another “big thing.” And they’ve always made me feel like I’m a part of it, too.

The first time I saw The Format, in 2004 (just before I went off to college), things were looking shaky with their record label, Elektra, as they were dropping bands left and right–another long-time favorite of mine, Third Eye Blind, was also among these bands. A decade ago, the aptly-named “The First Single” was supposed to be The Format’s breakthrough tune, the “We Are Young” of 2003, but without label support, it failed to go mainstream. However, their energy on stage was not at all fazed by any of these possible career-killers, because all of us in the crowd knew how good this band was. They were perfectly accessible to mainstream audiences (if they would only listen), but Sam Means’ musicianship, songwriting, and Nate Ruess’ incredible vocal prowess and lyrics took the music to a level that top 40 acts rarely reach. It was too damn fun to dislike without dumbing anything down. When I spoke to Nate after the show, he was genuinely gracious, and this attitude toward fans that would carry the band through tough times. Knowing how much those who had heard their music fell in love with it, The Format continued on, with a healthy dose of skepticism towards the music industry and labels.

I spoke with Nate again briefly after a show a couple of years later, just before the release of Dog Problems. Once again, this band seemed to be on the verge of something big. They were playing new tunes, many of which were leagues better than anything on Interventions + Lullabies. Nate was excited for us to hear the results–the results of this band moving away from major labels to create their own “Vanity Label,” working with Roger Manning (Jellyfish) and producer Steve McDonald (Redd Kross), and above all, overcoming the anxiety that preceded the release of this album: what if they couldn’t do it on their own?

But their fears were unfounded. Dog Problems was released independently (with some help from distributor Nettwerk, who ensured that the album would be placed in as many stores as possible), and as with Radiohead’s In Rainbows and other post-Napster experiments in the last decade, it proved that major labels are irrelevant if the music is good enough. Dog Problems is The Format’s masterwork–a result of the depression that came with being dropped from a label, Nate’s relationship problems, relentless touring and traveling, and overcoming all of those things to be able to scream, “I’m doing alright; I’m doing just fine.”

In 2007, a year after Dog Problems, The Format was at the height of their career, and also nearing the end. I saw them at The Masquerade that year, as I had the very first time and countless other times, and the crowd was more enthusiastic than ever. And so were they. Each time since that first time three years ago, the show got bigger in every way. As they covered Van Morrison’s “Caravan” to close out their set, it seemed clear to me that they loved where they were, their company, and their fans. What could go wrong?

The circumstances still aren’t clear to the public, but The Format split in early 2008. Nate wrote a letter informing fans on their website that things were fine between Sam and himself, but that there was no future for The Format. I was heartbroken. This was a band whose music saw me through college, some major relationships, and through which I can say my sister and I bonded in our mutual love for the music. What would I do without them? It just seems like silly pop music, doesn’t it? It was more than that to me. I can’t fully explain why, but the songs and the memories they touched still mean so much to me.

Fun formed shortly after, in the fall of 2008. Yes: they were once Fun, capitalized, no period. (The change only came after Finnish noise rock band, also named Fun, sought exclusive rights to the name. Don’t worry–they’re reaping all the benefits though mistaken Spotify plays.) This was my first year teaching, and my first year out of college. I was lost in so many ways. I hated my life, I hated my town, I hated my job, and I was anxious and miserable on a daily basis. I don’t think I was being melodramatic at the time, because I still compare the shittier times of now to the nightmare that that year was to make myself feel better.

Fun’s music made that year better. Before Aim & Ignite, I could only know a few songs, including “Benson Hedges” and “Be Calm,” but they seemed all too anthemic for me at the time. I was once again excited and enthusiastic for the next “big thing” that this band had on the way. Also, as a fan of both Steel Train and Anathallo (I had bought Floating World at a Format show in Birmingham, and Trampoline was often paired with Dog Problems in my CD changer), I knew how talented Jack Antonoff and Andrew Dost were, so I was not at all afraid that this project would let me down.

Aim & Ignite sounds simultaneously like starting over and picking up where you left off. I couldn’t help thinking that it mirrored my life. In 2009, I quit my first post-college job and moved to Athens, not really knowing what I was doing or where I was going. I was supposed to start a social work program at UGA, but my application was completed too late. I tried to “pick up where I left off,” but jobs were scarce, so I ended up substitute teaching and doing what I could to make ends meet for myself. I broke off an engagement in 2010; I had and have no regrets about that; I don’t want to be forgiven for all my big mistakes, I only want to be forgotten. I didn’t intend for those years to go the way that they did, but so many of those accidents and mistakes shaped my life as it is now, and I’m happier now than I’ve ever been. It was quite soon after that when I began a new relationship with my current fiancée, and things ignited from there.

I began the struggle that many mid-20s college graduates face. I was often unemployed or underemployed, making my way through unsatisfying jobs and trying to find who I am. However, the most important thing was that I loved my surroundings, and I loved the handful of people I spent my time with when I did spend time with people.

I can’t say I loved Some Nights at first; in fact, I didn’t like it very much at all. I began to feel that this may be it for me…while the songs themselves are quite honestly some of the best Nate Ruess and crew have written, the production felt targeted to the Fueled by Ramen crowd, whom the band signed with about a year after Aim & Ignite‘s release. My frustration with this album stems from the fact that I know how talented this band is, and I know how much they can accomplish with so little, so why do so much to the songs? On this record, producer Jeff Bhasker is essentially a member of the band, and his loud contributions often overshadow those of of Nate, Jack, Andrew, and other talented personnel on Some Nights. Still, the mainstream didn’t seem to care, and I don’t have to share anything about this band in 2013 that you don’t already love or hate. They are no longer anyone’s “best kept secret.” To those of you hearing fun. for the first time in 2012, it certainly seems at face value that they are another manufactured product of the industry, a band that couldn’t do what they do without the kind of production that exists on Some Nights, and again, that’s what’s so frustrating.

This weekend, the band was on the heels of two Grammy wins and a few other Grammy nominations. This time, then, there isn’t so much an anticipated “big thing,” but the feeling that this is the “big thing.” The Tabernacle is considered intimate in comparison to venues that they could have sold out right now. The show sold out in days, and ticket scalpers were outside the venue–not selling tickets, but essentially panhandling for extras. “I heard they were going for over $100 on Craigslist,” I overheard one of the scalpers say as we walked away. They followed us for a few seconds as we approached the line to enter The Tabernacle, “Hey, hey, any extra tickets? You got any extra tickets?”

Each time I’ve seen this band, the crowd has always been more enthusiastic. This time was no exception, but it was exponentially different. Everyone in attendance this time knew they were lucky to be there, with the cheering and screams between songs many decibles louder than the songs themselves. I was happy to see a little more diversity than I saw at Center Stage last year–I didn’t feel like the oldest person there; their demographic post-Grammy win has extended beyond the high school and college crowd, with no clear gender preference.

Next to us in the balcony was a young high school aged girl. She was singing at the top of her lungs, and I’m not ashamed to say that I was, too–more enthusiastically than her. Stephanie couldn’t stop laughing at how silly I must have looked. The key to enjoying this band is (and always has been) letting go of any pretentious attitude that may prevent you from enjoying the music, and to just have fun. (I’m trying to avoid this inevitable pun wherever possible.) When Nate sings, “tonight, we are young,” we are all young; tomorrow, we go back to being whoever we are…unless you really are young, in which case, I genuinely hope that this music affects your youth in the same way it did mine.

After the show, Stephanie told me, “I had a great time, but I still think they’re kinda lame.” Honestly–I couldn’t argue. I totally understand that opinion. But what does it matter? Like a good Disney movie, the appeal is universal if you allow it to be. And yes, there’s much about this music that sounds childish. But ignore your initial impression of Some Nights, as I have, because there is real substance and talent in this band. Allow yourself to indulge. Not everything sweet is bad for you.

Finally, enjoy this Some Nights-era set from DC’s 9:30 Club, originally broadcasted by NPR. Put aside your cynicism and see if you can’t have some fun.

fun. – Live at 9:30 Club – Washington, DC – 5/3/12
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1. One Foot
2. Walking the Dog
3. Why Am I the One
4. All the Pretty Girls (Intro)
5. All the Pretty Girls
6. All Alone
7. Barlights
8. Carry On
9. The Gambler (Intro)
10. The Gambler
11. Be Calm
12. At Least I’m Not as Sad (As I Used to Be) (Intro)
13. At Least I’m Not as Sad (As I Used to Be)
14. We Are Young
15. You Can’t Always Get What You Want
16. Smooth (Intro)
17. Smooth
18. Some Nights
19. Take Your Time (Coming Home) (Intro)
20. Take Your Time (Coming Home)

“Long-lost” Jon Brion/Elliott Smith performance.

Made my week.

When it comes to music, 2012 was pretty great. Definitely better than 2011. I had a hard time even coming up with 10 albums last year. Without further adieu, here are my top 10 favorite albums of 2012.

10. Coheed and Cambria – The Afterman: Ascension
A welcome return to form. They’re back with Josh Eppard and the producers of their first three albums. This is the sound I missed. Chris Pennie is a better drummer, but Josh fits this band’s style much better. It’s still missing the epic prog rock tunes that I know they’re capable of, like most of their last few records, but I still love this one. The title track is probably their best song in recent memory.

9. Kids These Days – Traphouse Rock
Rap/rock/R&B fusion done right. This record flows seamlessly between country, blues, indie rock, and hip-hop styles in a way that doesn’t seem forced or awkward at all.

8. Alabama Shakes – Boys & Girls
This band seemed to come out of nowhere. Brittany Howard is the best frontwoman I’ve heard in a long time. Amazing live. They seem so seasoned, like something my parents would listen to, in a good way.

7. Frank Ocean – channel ORANGE
Most creative R&B record I’ve heard in a long time. “Pyramids” might be the track of the year.

6. Poliça - Give Up the Ghost
Solid debut. I loved Channy with GAYNGS so I bought this record the day it came out.

5. Earlimart – System Preferences
I just discovered this band in 2012…one of my best finds. A lot of their songs have a very Elliott Smith vibe.

4. Kishi Bashi – 151a
of Montreal’s former violinist with a really impressive debut LP. I’m already hearing him in MTV shows and on commercials, which is a sign that he’ll be big this year.

3. Titus Andronicus – Local Business
I just love this band. This is a more back-to-basics record than the ambitious The Monitor, but that’s a good thing to me. They’ve done an epic already…no need to do it again.

2. The Viking Progress – Whistling While the End is Near
Excellent debut that you may not have heard much about outside of Athens. Very much influenced by In the Aeroplane Over the Sea all the way down to the album artwork, and including the fact that Scott Spillane plays on this record. But at the same time, it doesn’t sound like it’s ripping anything off. Patrick Morales wrote these songs while working on two fishing boats in Alaska named The Viking and The Progress. It’s a concept album about God deciding how to end the world. Between the concept and the ITAOTS influence, it sounds overly ambitious, but it’s really not. It’s just a really pretty record all the way through.

1. Reptar – Body Faucet
This album received an undeserved panning from Pitchfork. Honestly, many outlets would have this in a top 10 if it wasn’t for Pitchfork and their unwarranted influence on the indie zeitgeist. This was one of my most anticipated records this year and it doesn’t disappoint at all. I’ve also seen them live many times and each time was uniquely one of the most memorable shows I’ve been to. They’re basically WU LYF meets Animal Collective, but they’ve been around locally for a pretty good while, so I’ve been listening to them before I started listening to either of those bands.

Honorable Mention: Japandroids – Celebration Rock
Like Bon Iver last year, the new Japandroids is also good but overrated. Post-Nothing is the better record, and I felt like I had already heard too much of Celebration Rock on their 7″ releases over the past couple of years for me to consider it all that new.

Lastly, here are 5 songs from bands not mentioned above that I thoroughly enjoyed last year.

5. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah – “Maniac”
This album didn’t get the attention it deserved. Almost made it in my top 10, but it was barely edged out. It has some really great moments. This is one of them.

4. The Antlers – “Drift Dive”
Burst Apart was my #1 of 2011. This was only an EP so it wasn’t in my consideration for albums of the year, but I love this band.

3. Sam Means – “Something in the Air”
Sam’s voice and the way he always sounds a little lo-fi reminds me of M. Ward with less folk, more pop.

2. fun. – “Some Nights”
Overplayed song and terrible production on most of this album. I trashed the album when it came out. To an extent, I don’t care. I’ve loved these guys too long and this song is irresistible. On the other hand, I really wish they had kept Steve McDonald, who produced Aim & Ignite and Dog Problems with The Format. He kept them from going too far into bubblegum territory, which is what this song is–aside from the lyrics, which are some of the best I’ve heard in a top 40 song in a long time.

1. CHVRCHES – “The Mother We Share”
This band is going to blow up soon…this song is too good. No album or tour outside of the UK yet. You’ll know them well this time next year.

I’m not sure how I’ve neglected to mention here that I’m getting married soon, to a woman with whom I still fall in love daily. I could say many more sappy things. But yes…that’s happening. For real this time. And I recently started a legit full-time job with benefits for both myself and my fiancée. So many worries and anxieties of the past three years are gone. I’m in the best place I’ve been in a long time. I still live in Athens, and I’m still in love with it, even if it means hour commutes to work. I don’t fall in love with locales easily, at least not in this country.

Seeing the Perks of a Wallflower movie tonight reminded me of myself in high school and college–my early 20s. I’ve spent so much mental energy post-graduation trying to get those infinite feelings back. Many of those stories are past, logged in my silly ’04-’05 Xanga posts, many drenched in Dashboard Confessional lyrics. Evenings and late nights will emerge that make me feel that way, a way that makes the most sober and rational person cringe. Maybe I’ll channel more exciting spirits through melody and/or words. It gets harder to find your younger spirit, but you can’t keep looking in the same places. The ultimate goal is to feel alive and unpredictable while keeping our adult investments and goals safe. Some would say to throw out the latter, or “#YOLO,” in simpler terms, but if YouTube is any indication, that mantra leads to little more than stupidity.

As I approach 30, I expect to become much better at maintaining this balance.

I have a lot to be thankful for this year…more than I have at any other time in my adult life. Next year and beyond is where I start to figure out what it all means. Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas, everyone.

My search on the interwebs turned up a few streams, but no MP3, so I made one myself. This is basically the holy grail of unreleased Format tunes. It’s a post-Dog Problems song called “Swans” recorded for a movie (it wasn’t a good movie, so I won’t even mention it), and The Format also played it live on their last couple of tours (including on the Mayan DVD).

So here you go; the full, uninterrupted studio version of “Swans” ready to drop in your iTunes and put on all of your mix CDs (do people still make those? I still do…)

MP3: The Format – Swans

The Format – White Room Demos
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1. Your New Name
2. Janet

• If your phone is available for a discounted upgrade, do it now. Get yourself a good 4G phone that you’ll be satisfied with for a while. The Motorola DROID RAZR or HTC Rezound are good options; also, the HTC DROID Incredible 4G LTE is coming soon. All of these have (or will have) the newest version of Android: Android 4.0, Ice Cream Sandwich. Do some research to ensure whatever phone you get will have this.
• If your phone won’t be available for a discounted upgrade for a while, buy one of Verizon’s certified pre-owned phones online. They have some pretty good 4G phones, some as low as $50 with a new two-year contract.
• See if Verizon will offer you an early upgrade. They send out occasional promotions. I don’t know exactly when or why they offer these; maybe a few months before you’re due for an upgrade you’ll get an e-mail promotion. Don’t hold your breath for this, though.
• Buy a new phone at full price. It’s the most expensive option, but if you really want a certain phone and you can afford it, you can always do this without having to sign a new contract.
• Switch to Sprint. They’re the only major cell phone carrier still offering unlimited 4G plans to new customers. Verizon has a much better network though, so if you can keep them, I would.

Point being: upgrade to 4G now if you can. This is basically your last chance. Verizon still has good customer service despite this awful move, and they have the best network for both voice and data. I hate Verizon for this, but it is what it is.

Here’s one of those futuristic 80s ideas that look super dated now. An underwater sea lodge. Still amazingly cool. Jules Undersea Lodge in Key Largo, FL. It’s still open and available for a romantic getaway. Only $1395 per night.

The 80s in a single picture.