And he was so hopeless that I felt a little sorry for him.

I know … what an odd way to feel. Normally they make me swear and throw things out the window but this guy was just a bumbling fool.

The call went something like this …

Me: Hello?

Telemarketer: Hello?

Me: Hellooooooo?

Telemarketer: Yes, Hi, How are you today?

Me: Good. Who is this?

Telemarketer: Oh, Hi, Good. Nice day isn’t it?

Me: Well … yes, it is … sorry, but who is it?

Telemarketer: Oh, Hi, I’m Ian [pause].

Me: Oook, what can I help you with Ian?

Telemarketer: Oh well I’m calling regarding investing in property as a way of reducing your tax bill with the Australian government – so we’re calling everyone who pays more than $10,000 in tax each year as they can save a significant amount by investing ….

[Me tuning out for a minute ... ]

…. so, can I ask … do you have a mortgage?

Me: Oh no.

Telemarketer: Oh, are you renting are you?

Me: No. I’m just staying with my Aunty at the moment.

Telemarketer: Oh. Right. Well is she there.

Me: Oh no. She’s at work today.

Mr Telemarketer sighs … then breaths deeply … then he hangs up – which is a bit rude but I can’t help but feel like he’s not having a very good time in that call center.

… says the K-mart Tyre and Auto manager, here in Brisbane, as he holds out both sets of keys.

I daydream for a split second about driving away in a nice BMW … but then snap out of it long enough to tell him I’m there for the Honda (my mates car).

Without a second glance he hands over the car keys and says …

“OK, great. Here you go. We’ll bill your credit card.”

Little does he know it’s my mates car (my friend asked me to pick it up) and he’s not asked me for my ID or anything.

I could, literally, be anybody.

So trusting. So could have driven away in my first BMW. So could be in jail now.

Kmart man’s rating:

See rating explanation

Recently, I had the ‘pleasure’ of flying from Brisbane to Sydney with Virgin Blue – a domestic and semi-professional international airline by Branson’s all-dominating Virgin group.

Virgin Blue have always been known to Australians as that ‘quirky’, fun-loving airline with cheap fares. A bit like Virgin America I’d guess. Or Virgin Atlantic. Or any of the other Virgin airlines clogging up the skies.

So when the following conversation took place … I sort of … well I just didn’t know what to say or do.

Virgin girl 1 (pushing one end of the cart): Becky, I had the worst sleep last night. I just can’t seem to get over it.

Virgin girl 2 (serving food): What’s that hun?

Virgin girl 1: You know, that rash downstairs that I was telling you about.

Virgin girl 2: Oh no, the cream didn’t work?

Virgin girl 1: No, didn’t work at all. And now I’m starting to worry because it’s getting bigger.

At which point my ears burst into flames, relieving me of the rest of the conversation.

Seriously … “a rash downstairs”. I do not want to know what that was about.

Which, of course, means cooked meals, free alcoholic beverages and access to computers, washing machines and long hot showers – without paying anything.

Now I know that’s probably not the way to look at these things – it’s meant to be about the quality time with the ‘rentals – but quality time is all well and good when you’re earning lots of cash.

Which, at the moment, I am not. In fact, some might even say I’m running at loss.

So saving money and getting access to life’s essentials for free is crucial right now. And that’s where the parents come in.

As great as it is to find out about my dad’s obsession with golf (now he’s retired) or talk to the stepmonster about her school work … I’m also thankful for the money I’m saving by being here.

I’m only here for a few days (don’t want to wear out my sanity just yet) so I’m keen to save as much ‘coin’ as possible. Thanks Dad and Stepmonster.

When I was thinking about writing this mini-article on “what girls look for in guys” – I did a little ‘research’ with my female friends.

And, surprise surprise, each of my friends had a different answer to the question.

So, I’m afraid to say boys, there isn’t one formula for the perfect guy.

BUT (there’s always a but) there were some common themes coming through that I’ve summed up in this list of what girls look for in guys:

1. Ability to make a girl laugh
2. Confidence without arrogance
3. A guy who takes care of himself but doesn’t spend all day getting ready
4. Successful (not necessarily financially but no girl wants a bum)
5. Honest and sincere
6. Makes his girlfriend feel special
7. Good listener/easy to talk to
8. Compassionate and caring
9. Is protective
10. Pays attention to his girlfriend

The list could go on. And on. But those 10 should give you a headstart – right girls!?!