I am houston's problem.

Creating The Void

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 02:56:00 +0000

Ugh, Tez keeps telling me he just turned 30
having dreams of being single forever he’s getting worried
and I’m scared too because I’m in the same boat
good women are rare too, none of them have come close
me I have’nt changed much, you know how I play
better safe than sorry
instead of searching for substance at every single party
baby being part of this life
I feel like I’m bound to end up with somebody
that’s been with everybody
I need you to rescue me from my destiny
I’m trying to live right and give you whatever’s left of me
cause you know life is what we make it and a
chance is like a picture, it’d be nice if you just take it.
Or let me take it for ya
I’m just down to ride
or we can roll around the city until we finally decide
I got more than a thing for you, tattoo and ink for you
right over my heart girl I do the unthinkable

From 'Unthinkable (Remix) (featuring Drake)' by Alicia Keys.

This is one of the better songs/verses by Drake that I love, even though his lyrics are extrememly personal, the overall situations can relate to everyone. Additonally, not to put Alicia on the spot but this song has Aubrey's emotion written all over it.

I got into a fight the other day with one of my best friends and I don't feel good about it. At all. I think we actually even destroyed our friendship from that arguement, we haven't talked in almost two whole weeks. I feel like I should call him but firstly, I don't have a phone and secondly, I think it might even destroy our friendship more. This is difficult, and just giving me more things to think about than ever before.

Now that I'm back at LREI though, and the year has started I'm getting back on track with the 'east coast action' label. We went back in the studio yesterday and tore it up, and since we haven't gone in the studio in five months cause of money problems, I just remembered why I even started the whole label.

You Don't... No, You Won't Understand

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 06:35:00 +0000

The other day I was talking to my boy, Chris and he was like, "Honestly at first I though you were weird but, now like I think you the most interesting person I know..." then he said no homo lmao, but y'all get the point. So I feel like people judge me to much, like Chris said if we didn't have mutual friends to introduce us like we wouldn't of ever been best friends.

Anyways though, like I transferred back to my old school, Elizabeth Irwin High School, and I feel sooooo much better academically, like the A's are going to come cranking through on the next report card, but what i'm worried about is social ish. Like since EI is soo much smaller, even wants to or already knows your business. Like at Millennium I had 32-34 people in each of my classes... but now back at EI I am back at 8-12 people each class, which feels really different. I'm sort of used to the chaos of Millenium. So now with this new situation going on and the 9th grade year I missed at EI (cause I spent it at Millen), I am now sort of out of the loop. I mean I know everyone, in fact, I've know 90% of whole grade since 3rd grade, the other 10% are new students that came in 9th grade while I was gone, but I feel... out the circle. I notice now, that at Millen (as much as I complained about it), I had actual real friends that would listen to what I would have to say without interruption, judging me, or whatever. I find me and Addison and Gabby calling each other throughout the week more than ever now, lol. I wouldn't think I would miss Millen as much as I do now.

Part of the problem is I got girl problems too, like mentally I'm trying to juggle three relationships at one time. One girl like me and got the message across but then, suddenly pulled the "I want to make you jealous" card, another girl me and her are like each other but both know it's not going to work, and the last girl who I like the most doesn't even have a clue I like her but she thinks of me as a nice guy to connect with on a deep level about personal things and her relationships. This is all very confusing for me cause I know which potential relationship would be the best but that, relationship I'm thinking about the most is the most complicated. I'm not going to say the names cause it is a public blog but, yessir, that's what's going on now. My cousin said don't let it phase you and let it all play out so I hope it works. I trust my cuzzo with my life.

Musically, my head is in the clouds, like I have beats, inspiration, and lyrics in my head but when I write on the paper it ends up as a hate note to the world, I feel the anger. Like a lot of anger. So to calm that down I've been listening to a lot of The Roots (the 'How I Got Over' album) and Kid Cudi (specifically the Man on the Moon album) cause that always helps me think things thoroughly and clearly. Negativity always equals positivity in the end.

I really do feel the anger.

The Inspiration x 1

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 03:02:00 +0000

Big Boi and the Roots, two of my favorite artists, preforming 'Shutterbugg' from Big Boi's 'Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty' on Jimmy Fallon's Late Night.

Big Things Poppin'

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 04:22:00 +0000

Well, to much happened since I last wrote on here to talk and review so what I am going to do is briefly tell you how I am feeling based on the summer.

During camp I REALLY didn't want to go, but of course who's knows what might happen so I didn't go in the camp all, "I hate this shit" but more like, "whatever." Anyways fast forward a month at camp and I want to stay longer. I mean I had one of my new best friends, Chris, help through all these emotions and drama shit (relationship stuff included) that happened, and like me and him like fought through it all. Like no homo, but I think I would have died at that camp without Chris.

Coming out of camp (Chris had to stay cause his mom was making him), I went back to the city thought about everything that happened and compared to what happened to me in 9th Grade, I felt like this whole shit about me feeling isolate din the school and etc. is because I wasn't ready for it... I could ramble on but I mean, it tears me up thinking how much I could have done at school, like everything I did at camp if I actually tried...

Coming out of that mindset that "mistakes aren't mistakes until you make them," has changed my whole perspective of my social status like, being afraid to talk to people, and being not afraid, saying the right things, and saying the wrong things, I feel I learned it all, and I feel SOOO much happier now that I know what to do with school, and how to manage work.

Based on that I feel here are my top 3 things I need to do before I turn 16:
1) Meet Jasmine Villegas or another ESKO (long story)
2) Finally get back in this studio and release my emotions I've been holding in (sounds corny I know)
3) Don't let fear of risk get in the way of affecting a specific decision

Unforgettable

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 16:13:00 +0000

This song has been on repeat 24/7 since June 11th (Yeah 4 days before the release... a DJ I know sent it too me, don't judge).

Finally school is done! I really want to make this summer as good as the summer of 08... the best summer of my life. I think it's going ok, so far. The VP of EMI Music Publishing came over the other day and asked me to intern on his new record label "BedStyle Records," AND he wants my artist (I-CON) on my record label on his label, so were going to do a joint venture deal. So this means Jake (I-CON) might get bigger quicker than expected (from radio play, easier to online market, etc.).

On Saturday I have camp so I promise I'll post something before I leave. This year at camp honestly, I have four goals, (1) Workout as much as I can, (2) Make no enemies (which I usually accomplish easy), (3) forget about school (it's been stressing me out more than anything else this year), and (4) be real.

Toronto

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 02:17:00 +0000

All Talk

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Mon, 31 May 2010 19:45:00 +0000

One of my favorite tracks by KiD CuDi, the emotional honesty on this song really hits my heart, and I feel like he understands me and probably a lot of other people.

Just Blaze Explains What Happened To The Remix

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Fri, 21 May 2010 00:09:00 +0000

Wow, now I understand if looked at from a broader view, how the music buisness is artistically lacking cause buisness is slow but I still hate to hear that it affects the culture of rap and hip-hop in such a negative way including destroying the culture from the inside esp. because people want more plays on the radio to bump up VDS scores. All numbers now. I mean really the best remix I've heard in the 2000's is Fabo's (Fabolous) and Drake's "Throw It In Bag (Remix)" which I personally found it was 10 times better than the regular song with The-Dream. I really think someone should just seriously sit down with Just Blaze for a couple of hours and just interview him cause he always has something interestng to say.

Flashback Post | Marsha Ambrosius' Say Yes (Live)

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Thu, 20 May 2010 22:12:00 +0000

This is definitely on of my favorite songs, but the way she sings this is so soulful. One thing I noticed is she did sound ALOT like Jill Scott. I have to say though I am impressed by the way she squeezes the emotion into the song without over doing it unlike Alicia Keys sometimes, or how Ashanti did the song 'The Way That I Love You'. Marsha Ambrosius used to be apart of the now broken up duo, Floetry. And is now working on her solo album due for release sometime at the end of this year.

Bully

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Thu, 20 May 2010 19:14:00 +0000

The new track is up on the east coast action website. Track produced by Dr. Kim and I (stage name = Deluxe), and rapped on by I-CON. Click here for the peek.

Summer Nights

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Tue, 18 May 2010 02:30:00 +0000

Ight so like the past couple of nights I kept telling myself I should make a new post and finally I have decided to make one tonight. Since it's been like a week and a half I don't think I review much of last week, probably friday to today.

Ok so on friday I didn't feel like hanging out with Addison and didn't feel like getting to know any one so I decided I should go to a movie with old friends which was mad fun. I went to see Death at a Funeral at 34th street with Thomas, Liam, Kameron, Dav (David), Leon (who I really am mad at for destroying my facebook lmao), and Atlas called me cause he heard we were going but, I forgot to call him back about that (sorry). That was one of the funniest movies I have seen in a long time, I don't think I've laughed that hard since the summer of 08. That movie was hilarious, after the movies we all headed back to Thomas' house in the Penthouse of Irving Place which is like DUMB nice and relaxing. Like whenever I'm up at his house there is a whole view of Manhattan, I'll take pictures next time I go but, I love that house so much. Then everyone left one by one, and Thomas tried to make me sleep over but, I was really tired and didn't feel like being a buzzkill by falling alseep early, and by that time it was like 11:20 pm so it was either I go home or get jacked on the train for taking it to late. So I left and as soon as I hit my bed I was GONE. Like I fell asleep in my clothes that's how tired I was.

So next morning Cassidy (my cuzzo) wakes me up for fencing at 6:00 am and I just immediatley fall right back to sleep for another hour then I finally take a nice ass shower which felt really relaxing. And I felt at ease until I hear my mom's voice yelling at me telling to get out the shower. Which pretty much made my relax meter go from 94% to 21%. I have no idea but like I noticed, whenever my mom is in my sight I feel like a 75 pound weight of stress is added to all the stress that I already deal with, mad annoying. Anyways we leave, and get there on time surprisingly cause the trains are ridcuoulously messed up on weekends. But, after the fencing class, I talk to one of my friends' dad and he knows that I'm a music person so he talks to me about that, then tells me the Vice President of Sony Entertainment's son goes to the fencing class that I go to, and his son is absoutely a beast at fencing for a 7-year old. So, I was surprised and we prepared a little speech for this weekend when I see The VP again about an intership this summer. After waiting for my cuzzo and my sister to be done with their private lesson I took them home then they went to a party and I stayed home cause I felt so tired again and watched Sherlock Holmes on MOD and fell asleep until like 8pm and still no one was home so I enjoyed the peace and fell asleep again until the morning (I felt reallty tired this weekend IDK why though).

In the morning (Sunday), woke up, went to Church with my mom, saw my other cousins, got a Ice Tea at Dunkin' Donuts, in the car contemplated about how I love summers so much and why then I thought of all the good times I've had in the summers. So relaxing, barely any homework, time to spend thinking about how your going to tackle next year, girls, etc. Very nice stuff. Got home got the letter from "Universal" researched it, turned out the showcase was fake, didn't reallt mind, went to my room and made a REALLY good playlist with most of my favorite songs. Some of them are:

Pretty Wings - Maxwell
Inhale - Common
Hi-Definition - Lupe Fiasco
Let's Rick - Chrisette Michele
Throw It In The Bag (Remix) - Fabolous & Drake
Luv U Better - LL Cool J
Ain't no Sunshine - Theophilus London
She's So ATL/ Love My Outerspace - Hollyweerd
That Girl (feat. Snoop Dogg) - Pharrell
T.G.I.F. (feat. Chip Tha Ripper) - Kid Cudi
and approx. like 7-10 more songs.

Today was mad cool though, I feel like I aced my Spanish test cause for once I actually studied. Like it was a good day (and also someone was lookin' good today to, ask me if you want to know ;-). Finally, Addison came to my house in Brooklyn today I was legit proud of him lmao. So yeah, that was the last couple of days in SUM, haha.

"They just wanna see why
All they girlfriends be wanting pictures
I be flyer then a hundred navs
Worth a hundred hundrend stacks" - Chip Tha Ripper off of Kid Cudi's T.G.I.F.

Tropical Skittles

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Sun, 02 May 2010 03:00:00 +0000

For someone reason I find these chains so dope. I was on Big Sean's site and eventually landed on the FRUITION site, and found this. I saw Rihanna, Kanye, Cudder, and Big Sean coping one of these, and this is in my desgin/fashion style so I'm definatley copin' one. For more pics hit the jump.

Beer Money, Champagne Taste

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 01:00:00 +0000

...is what my cousin warned me about people in life. And it's sort of true...

As of the previous date of April 19, I am now presently 15 years old. I feel no different haha, just more responsibilities given and more pressure to achieve my goals now before I am 21 or something. Speaking of accomplishing goals I have been thinking a lot about money lately. Like my mom says I can advertise to be an assistant for one of the other brokers (she's a real estate) at her job which is really cool cause I get mad money. Last time I went it was like 2 months ago and worked for like 3 hours and made $50 which is a lot for 3 hours and helping one broker... I mean some people only make $10 an hour having part-time jobs but like they have to spend what they make on bills so that got me thinking. If I start working as an assistant every weekend and work for two brokers... that's $100 a weekend. Plus, I'm starting to build a recording studio in my room (I have a piano, a computer, and a D-20 Roland right now), so that can help me complete that for all the mics and acoustic padding I need. Also I need new clothes which the money will definitely help... and keep some on the side for food, or look side money for a future date or whatever happens (who knows what can happen!?). I was also thinking I should starting saving for a car... in like 10th grade though after I get new clothes and mandatory stuff.

My life musically has been going great. I finished writing my first album and going to name it "The Grand Exit" (I'll probably say why it's the grand exit in another post one day), and now were just working on Jake's (JR/I-CON) album, "The Man Behind The Mask" due to be released late this summer if we get the time in the studio with Dr. Kim (our producer/engineer, basically our version of Drake's 40). What's the great thing about my album though is I have great support from all my fellow artists and am really excited about this song called "Who, What, Where, When, Why?" with Harlem Bugz, Suave Bucks, JR, and Julio-G all on one song... with me. Shows mad love, shout out to all them by the way. Lastly what's really great is we got a couple of label A&R's asking me to send me our albums and demos to them once where done which is sick, and were going to get AIRPLAY (radio) in Long Island and word of mouth is one hell of a machine so that might send us far and in a easy path to fame. Mad excited.

Socially, I feel satisfied although I do want to meet someone that I should of met in the beginning of the year but I won't say names cause I do know some that read this blog with bad intents (ask me in person and I might tell you). Like, My relationship with Shantell has been rocky since we stopped talking since the beginning of the year but it's getting better now so I happy about that. In this school though everyday I'm making a new friend so I can't say I'm a loner anymore like in the beginning of the year. Though in the beginning of the year, my head was in a darker, more stand in the shadows and let others handle the situation type of place. Now, I feel freer due to the music coming into my life, and pulling my thoughts onto music instead of my social life and shadowing out.

Though I do want to give a shout out to someone. Michele thanks for being such a good acquaintance/friend to me. You and Alisa have held me down this year. Muchas gracias.

I think that's it. I've never typed so much in a post before, guess there's a first for everything though.

For more information on the album and their progress check up on the east coast action website.

Good Week

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 01:55:00 +0000

This week was a pretty good week I guess, I finished writing the first half of my mixtape, were going to start production next saturday. We have Jake's album were working on also. I got so much going on with my album though I so excited I finally get to share my ideas and message.

I've been talking to my cousin Wayne (age 21) in Flordia a lot more than usual, which is I am definatlety not mad about he's pretty much on of my best friends and is my mentor, also he might spit a couple verses on the album and is working on his own too. He said he was really proud of me for pursing my dreams at such an early age without caring about what some think.

I'm also excited cause on Monday I won't be little 14 no more... We Out!!!!!

That just reminded me that I was over at Addison's house and it was mad fun we made so many inside jokes good times... maddd PSI, (WHAAATTT A GWAAADDD!!!).

Yeah so that pretty much sums like... lol not a lot of my week but I don't feel like talking alot so as me if you want to know more. Adios!

Flashback Post | John Legend's 'Again'

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 11:00:00 +0000

I just realized that this whole time I have run this blog I haven't had one John Legend post. So here it goes family. This is one of my favorite songs from him off of his sophomore album Once Again, still in stores. I love the slow, calm environment he creates for the listener in the song, a great way to tell a story.

Time and Time Again

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 18:42:00 +0000

I remember the first time I heard this song I was walking on the street with my friend Bryce, and there was this car at the stoplight and the radio came on and the guy in the car was like "AYY!!" as soon as he heard it and turnt it up. Me and Bryce were like crunking and dancing in the street while the guy in the guy was banging his head to this. LMAO, good times, anyways... Purple Ribbon All-Stars (I have no idea where they get the name from) pull it together real good with some Big Boi style on it. Although I might be from New York, it makes me feel like I'm from the A (Atlanta).

Thoughts On My Mind | Like A Star

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 02:58:00 +0000

These past couple of weeks in my life have actually seemed to calm down just a bit. I mean I'm doing everything that I was before but, now it's just... calm.

School has been ok, I mean I really really love my advisory, I think even more than my section (9F). Like, it's weird though because everyone in my advisory is aware we are all so different but when were all in the same room together we all just are comfortable with who we are. For example, Star this girl in my advisory is really uiet has and a small group of friends, and that's cool don't get me wrong but when she gets in advisory she seems really comfortable talking to all 11 of us in the advisory at once without shying up. Or Alisa who is one of the coolest people I've met in a while, is sort of the more popular person. She's friends with a lot of people in the school but stills talks to all of us with respect and doesn't act as if she is superior to us (I hate those type of people).

Me and Alisa an have got to know each other a lot better since the beginning of the year but it always seems like I don't know her when I see her in the halls, and it's not even because she acts different. It's just... I really don't know, haha. Like when were not together in the same room i'm just someone you say 'hi' to in the halls but, when we are in the same room together or like having a conversation, it's different. Not implying anything but just saying. I think that me and her are going to have some sort of special connection in the future (I mean who knows?).

As for my music career... A LOT has happened since I last posted but since I don't feel like boring you readers today I'll just keep it brief. Me and I-CON (Jake, my friend and soon-to-be signee) are getting in the studio next saturday a lot more musically educated thanks to MC Sa'id (big-time beatmaker/producer). He wrote The BeatTips Manual, a 400 page book with all the information in the world to be successful in the music industry and to be an icon in beatmaking specifically. We had an hour conversation with him on the phone and I think I learned like 200 pages worth of text in every like 2 sentences he said cause the conversation was that interesting and informative. If you want check him out, go to BeatTips.com and/or BeatTips2.com. Don't forget his son's site to (which is actually really informing) at Amir13.com.

By the way, the East Coast Action website is almost done. If you want the sneak peek CLICK HERE.

Flashback Post | Which Fast Food Rap is Better?

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 01:49:00 +0000

Here are the lyrics if you want to rap along:

"I need a double cheeseburger and hold the lettuce -/- Don't be frontin' son no seeds on a bun -/- We be up in this drive thru/Order for two -/- I gots a craving for a number nine like my shoe -/- We need some chicken up in here -/- In this dizzle/For rizzle my mizzle -/- Extra salt on the frizzle -/- Dr. Pepper my brother -/- Another for your mother -/- Double double super size -/- And don't forget the FRIES..."

The video below is the Taco Bell version, which is better than the first Taco Bell version, but the vote is up to you all... Which one is better? The voting booth is below the video (the comments).

Here is the lyrics for the Taco Bell video if you want to rap along for the first part:

Guy: "Dont wanna spend dollars just cents every time we want grilled chicken for only 89 cause its tasty sour cheese and its packed to last i know i'm talk'n fast did you get all that, thats how its done right there"

Girl: "hold on son lets repeat it back I get what you rap but you rap like i hack here we go watch me flow 89 cents for a chicken burrito its chickalisious every bite smack it when we fight price so light when yo wallet kinda tight you wanna keep it going its a battle all night"

Ebony and Ivory

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 13:27:00 +0000

I honestly can't tell if this is going to be good or not. I mean I can't imagine Common and Queen Latifah. She's more man than he is, hahaha. Hit the jump for the synopsis.

Just Wright stars Queen Latifah as Leslie Wright, a straight shooting physical therapist who gets the gig of a lifetime working with NBA All-Star Scott McKnight (Common). All is going well until Leslie finds herself falling for Scott, forcing her to choose between the gig of a lifetime and the tug-of-war inside her heart. The movie also stars Paula Patton, Pam Grier, Phylicia Rashad & appearances from NBA stars like Dwight Howard, Dwayne Wade, Jalen Rose & a few others. -Splash

March Madness?

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 05:26:00 +0000

What up?

Well I have A LOT on my mind. The past couple of days have been really productive music wise but, it feels weird cause everything I am doing now feels so adult. Honestly, I'm glad I noticed that I don't want to be the kid who sits at home on weekends and plays video games all the time. But, at the same time it feels weird to be growing into the person that I want to be in this world. Like knowing that Jake (my signee) might get signed to Universal Republic Records/Young Money Entertainment and me leading the way since I've been his manager/mentor for the past 4 months it's already great progress for a 14 year old.

Socially my world has been up and down like one of those heartbeat sensor thingy. One day at school I'll feel like everyone knows me as a person who is a cool guy just like them, and the next day I'll feel invisible with people looking at me in weird ways all because they made their first impression of me before I even met them. Most of the time I'll shake it off but it's still rotating in my queue of thoughts everyday when I pass the one's that judge me in the halls.

Right now currently though life just feels mediocre, not anything to get to excited about, I just feel like me, and my social life and friend expansion is straining to expand at this point cause we ARE more than halfway through the year so everyone already feels like they know who they should know and that's it. Left out? Maybe.

I am happy for one thing though. I met this girl named Tsiann I knew from waaay back in pre-school and we were like best friends and I really wanted (notice the past tense) until after a while she stopped responding to the messages on Facebook. Maybe I talked to much. But, who's knows... as Jay-Z says, "Got to learn to live with regrets."

Food For Thought

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 06:18:00 +0000

Amazing picture I found on Flickr of the NYC skyline.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

Finally Famous...

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 04:32:00 +0000

I'm a couple weeks late but, the kid 'Big Sean' is back with 'Supa Dupa Lemonade.'

Thoughts on My Mind | Isolated

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 14:00:00 +0000

Me and Amy were at Highline Park on like 14th Street when we were doing our mini-photoshoot thing and thought this was sort of a nice picture. What ya'll think?

Ok, I have no idea why but me and Addison were talking and then some how the subject of what we wanted and expected High School to be like came up. So we went to into this really deep conversation, and I said some stuff that even I was even surprised to here me say.

The conversation started out as him talking about life "friend groups" forming and how Yulia had changed and everything, then I started too tell him out High School was really not what I expected it to be honestly. As some of you might know I used to go to private school at LREI up on Houston and Bleeker and it's small classrooms like basically 15 kids or less in each class, so I was basically friends with everyone in the school. Last year, it was time to choose High School after I got my test results back and I think I remember getting into Millennium, Eleanor Roosevelt (I think I spelled that wrong), and two other ones I forget. I chose Millennium even though I wanted Beacon because it seemed like a cool place.

Flashforward to the new school year, I'm excited ready to make new friends and everything, whatever, whatever. And then I learn that half of the people that are going to this school already know each other (mostly everyone was from 89). So like automatically that just makes it awkward for me... then I met Pola. The first person I knew, I remember it. She was from a different school too so we started talking and got to know her better and eventually, she started making friends and wanted to introduce to this dude Nathan. Nathan was a cool guy. But, it was weird cause the friendship between me and her was short-lived cause we were in different sections.

So I was once again somewhat alone and finally after like I week or so I started making more friends in 9F (my section), and it was all good. After awhile though I started to question why (and how) I wasn't friends with a lot of people outside of my section and everything I thought of kept leading to the same thought.

Everyone knew each other cause of 89. And since I was isolated in that small school I felt like (I know this is cliche or whatever) a needle in a haystack, lol. Honestly. Then I started thinking about like the whole High School experience in general and how to get to parties, etc., etc. So pretty much I realised I needed to be more outgoing. That doesn't mean I'm not going to be me but, I have to not be so shy or whatever it is anymore that's holding me back from talking to certain people.

So basically, the true reason I have been rambling this whole time is to say, it never hurts to be yourself, you really honestly might regret not being friendly and saying "hi" to someone you see everyday or, maybe being shy in general. But, do keep one thing in mind, what ever you are lacking is always attainable.

"Fear is like an illusion of millions of cracks in a window you can't look through, the thing is... it's really actually clear."

Niagara Riverhouse

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 02:25:00 +0000

DOPE!!!

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"Like My Sweet Brotha Nun-say!"

JinUrban@gmail.com (Nile Emir Adams) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 21:26:00 +0000

Nawww, me and this song are in love. One of the best on Kanye's "Late Registration".