Just like the fact that there appears to be an app for everything these days there’s also a timing for everything as well.

Not all apps will be wildly successful; sometimes it’s more of a timing issue than functional one.

But I’ve been thinking about more than just apps these days; I’ve been thinking about how in life there’s simply a timing for everything. You know? You just never know about this and that and whatever else.

A glorious mystery it is.

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It’s tough being a parent and it’s getting more difficult every single year.

The biggest challenge right now is trying to identify the numerous interests that both of our girls have and being able to match those with activities that will engage and challenge them without imposing the dreaded your-parents-love-this-and-you-should-do-it-too syndrome.

Like all parents we want to give our children everything that we can to provide a solid foundation of learning that consistency feeds their curiosity that may eventually become part of their long-term vocation. At times it seems impossible to know which interests are worth pursuing and which ones are worth investing in (financially) for camps, after-school programs, and such.

The pressure, on a bad day, feels like we’re trying to help create life-plans for them and if we fail then our childs’ life is ruined!

If you’re a parent you know where I’m coming from.

Although I don’t have any answers or suggestions for other parents in terms of solving this tension I’ll share one thing we’re doing with our oldest now that’s neat and very different than what my own parents did with me. This isn’t to say my parents did anything wrong; on the contrary, they did many things right! But it is different.

I believe that there are many things that are just given to us, natural skills and talents that are obvious to all, that help that individual achieve great success in their particular field. We see this in every field of sports, academics, and business.

But I also believe that there are things that can be taught and acquired over time and through significant investment of time and resources success can also be achieved as well. To many this is the 10,000 HR rule proposed by Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers. Studies suggest that the key to success in any field has nothing to do with talent. It’s simply practice, 10,000 hours of it — 20 hours a week for 10 years.

Whether Malcom is right or I’m wrong or vice versa (or whether we’re both wrong at the same time) doesn’t really matter – there’s probably a bit of both models happening at the exact same time.

But the important thing to remember is that the latter scenario is within our relative control – that is, I can’t gift my children talents and natural abilities outside of what God has already ordained through the combination of my DNA with my wife’s DNA, but I can guide and cultivate a work ethic that will transcend any particular field or practice.

So that’s what my wife and I committed to, after a very long discussion over the last few months, to start doing with our children. We’re going to teach them how to invest their most precious resource (their time) into their activities with intentionality and wisdom. This isn’t something that they could just “catch” – again, we have to teach them this.

Generally, we call this discipline; we call this training.

For example, I’m now spending time with my oldest every single day outside with a soccer ball, training her beyond what she’s received from her coaches and through just simple play. I spent more of my life participating in soccer than almost any other activity, the first being writing and computer programming. At one point I was playing internationally and training for the Olympics.

At Gladwell’s rate, if we train 20 hours a week for 10 years she’ll be a “success” – we all know that’s just not how life works and there’s so much more involved, but the point of our engagement with our oldest is to help her understand that consistent investment in a particular activity creates discipline which she’ll be able to apply to any other interest in the future. Again, at age 6 she can’t come up with this and it’s our responsibility as her parents to teach her this model and concept.

And besides, it’s good exercise for me since I’m out of shape like whoa.

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Entrepreneurship is so meta – you can call yourself an entrepreneur and never actually have to do anything with it. Being an entrepreneur is as easy as adding it to you LinkedIn bio and listing it as a “skill” or hashtagging yourself on Twitter.

Then there are those that say you aren’t a real entrepreneur until someone else calls you that. I don’t get that either because that doesn’t really matter much more than self-referencing yourself for anything you’d like.

Personally, call yourself whatever you want – the only titles that will last longer than your own life are probably going to be the ones on your tombstone – think about that for a moment if you will. Can you imagine that?

John Name Doe
1/1/1971 – 1/1/2014
Social Media Guru, Entrepreneur, Blogger

Ridiculous right? I’m sure you’d want something else on there.

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It’s neat to pursue one’s dreams but not all of them are businesses. In the same way, not all businesses fully realize one’s so-called dreams.

And although I’m sad to break that to you it’s simply the truth. Many of the organizations and businesses that I’ve created in the past were not fulfilling some long-held dream or vision for my life. They were fulfilling and doing exactly what they were meant to do: Be a business.

Again, I hate to be the bearer of bad news and I’m sorry if I’m the first person who’s every told you that your dream might suck as a business. It may even feel a bit crippling, but far better to be aware of the reality than to be blinded by illogical and wishful thinking.

Sure, anything is possible so I don’t count it completely out but if you blindly believe that converting a dream into a business and vice versa is the only real possibility you’re considering then, sadly, be prepared for a very rude awakening.

When I survey my previous ventures and businesses almost none of them were in the pursuit of “that” dream. They were decent ideas that were executed just as decently. I was passionate about the project for a short while, putting everything that I had into it for a concentrated time. But I never called them anything close to “my baby” and I could never look anyone in the face and tell them that I’m in any way, shape, or form living “the dream.”

I was instead pursuing something that could create value for myself and for others. I was interested in building great products and a great business.

And that can be discouraging, I’ll admit it. Many of these things, these projects, can seem so close to our so-called dreams, our “babies,” the things that we hold close to our chest and hope will one day experience the sweet taste of glorious success.

But if I haven’t already done so then I’m about to break your heart because I want you to learn to say “no” to them, at least for now. Saying “no” to your dreams can feel like a crushing blow but it won’t kill you. Trust me, I know.

You see, not all dreams have legitimate business models that will work, both short and long-term. Many of these dreams will never be financially profitable, they will never thrive beyond conception, and just can’t grow. Instead, it’ll stay a dream or a ill-fated and never-attempted project, which is good – leave it there and instead focus on a business that will generate revenue.

This isn’t about money exclusively; this is about being able to create an institution that can continue to create value for others, which means that for 99/100 businesses you need to create revenue in some form or fashion.

You see, successful builders of businesses understand that just because you can make a product doesn’t mean that you should. In just the same way, just because you can dream doesn’t mean that you are able to conjure up a business model that’ll work with that dream.

But here’s the thing, and be encouraged – dreams are, by definition, fleeting and incomplete. Just because one dream doesn’t work as a business doesn’t mean that the next one can’t. Just don’t rush them but be sure to choose the right dream to turn into a business and venture.

Don’t just choose what you’ve done historically. Don’t just do what you’ve always done, what you’re the most familiar with, or even the one that you’ve been holding onto “for years” – choose the one that’s going to be a success today. You can fulfill those other dreams when you have the time and financial resources to fill blackholes with cash.

You see, it’s way more fun to run a successful hot dog stand (i.e. business) than a completely bankrupt (i.e. dream) marketing firm.

Besides, you can always do the marketing firm later.

[Photo Credit: Nhoj Leunamme == Jhon Emmanuel]

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Since reading is an essential part of not only leadership and entrepreneurship but also my very life I am constantly amazed at the stories that I read and how successful some of these individuals are.

Naturally, since I’m reading this book, their story, their biography, they have achieved a level of success that warrants my attention, so I shouldn’t be surprised, but what intrigues me the most is how common many of them really are.

It’s like my Sunday School teacher shared with me when I was little:

You’re unique, just like everyone else.

Their achievements were fantastic and have impacted many of our lives, their philosophies and perspectives now shape the very core of our own thinking, and yet they were all deeply flawed people, flesh and blood, just like you and I.

Many struggled with depression, displayed neurotic behavior, and many had mental disorders that would make our own small quirks laughable. Yet they persevered and did not stop their pursuit.

But the moment I put them in a place that is less human than myself I do them an incredible disservice. Despite their humanity they achieved greatness. Despite their brokenness, their struggles with their own personal demons, they thrived.

You and I can do the same. I have worked with too many people who have used a comparison of themselves against some fabled success story as a reason they cannot be successful themselves. This trap is self-generated and is the diciest and most disabling of all.

You want to build the next Facebook or Twitter? You want to invent the next paperclip or pair of scissors? You want to fly to the moon on a self-propelled jet created out of cardboard and scotch tape? Sure, go for it.

You may fail at your attempts but that’s ok. I think you’ll learn more about your own humanity which means that much later you’ll be creating better and more realistic solutions for… wait for it… humans.

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A friend, Peter Pollock, just recently published his book, Web Hosting for Dummies, via Wiley Publishers and I’m proud to be a part of this publication as the Technical Editor.

Wiley sent me a copy and I don’t need it so I’m giving it away – just comment below with a haiku about web hosting to enter.

Congrats again Peter! So glad I could help.

Oh, and he’s giving away some killer stuff himself if you order it this week.

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Great free eBook from many of the entrepreneurial minds that I respect and admire. Neat resource.

If you’re looking for your next read this might be it. If you’ve got other things on your list then even an article a day here would be worth it as well.

I cannot emphasize enough how important reading is to the entrepreneur, starter, and doer. I think reading is one of the most important things that a leader should do and I see it as a responsibility and a priority.

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Clouds. I like them.

One of the greatest challenges that an newish entrepreneur will face is the challenge of compensation and the significant lifestyle change that must occur in order for their dream to become a reality.

This is especially difficult for the corporate executive who’s attempting to leave their 6-figure income to pursue that “great idea” after having created a lifestyle that requires such a large yearly financial stream of income.

I struggled with this when I left my job as an executive at Fox and Newscorp – my official title was Executive Product Director and I oversaw the product development of our social networking technology. The compensation easily cleared $200k a year including incentives, performance rewards, and stock grants.

Those that have ventured into startup world know that this is 4-5 times the amount of a salary that you can expect to make, especially if you’re bootstrapping the company with no outside capital raise. This jump can be too big and too difficult for many and it’s unfortunate as I imagine many great ideas never see the light of day simply because someone couldn’t make a lifestyle change.

I was lucky though since my wife and I had always committed to living a financially-simple life and we borrowed heavily from the likes of Dave Ramsey and Clark Howard. I was also “lucky” because I explicitly chose my next full-time role post Fortune 50 which shot me down to 25% of this previous compensation as I worked as a technology leader in a not-for-profit.

This adjustment helped my growing family adjust to the entire package of living a lifestyle that could support full time entrepreneurship and enabled me and my family to ultimately accept that this lifestyle was the one for us.

A few top-line thoughts for those who may find themselves in a similar position as I was as a mid-to-large company executive as well as for those considering full time entrepreneurship:

1. Lifestyle reduction is imminent, even if you raise angel and/or venture capital. You simply won’t make what a large enterprise can supply you right off the bat. You must make way for a dramatic reduction.
2. Your lifestyle choices must begin today, not tomorrow when you cut ties with your current situation. If you want to pursue that opportunity, that dream, that goal, or build that product then you may never be “ready” until you’ve figured out the financial part, not necessarily how you will make money but what bottom line salary you and your family can survive on so that your dream can become a reality.
3. You can’t be too aggressive with your cost-cutting decisions. Everything counts, literally. For example, to make our transition our family shared a car between two working adults. For those that have tried this it’s an incredible experience and we did it for nearly 3 years. Sure, it was tough a few times but overall it was very manageable.
4. Your debt management is critical and your perspective on credit can’t be understated. Outside of my mortgage I have none. I pay things in cash, a practice that was instilled by my father and if we do use a credit card we pay it on-time, like clockwork. I recently refinanced my house and my credit score was an average of 820 across the boards.
5. Going “all in” is not a requirement for you to pursue your dream and many future full time entrepreneurs start on the side, quietly building their business at night, on the weekends, and in any of the “off hours” that they have. For many there will eventually be a “decision point” where a jump has to be made but it doesn’t have to be like a cliff dive into the abyss – you can make that jump much smaller with great financial management and a realistic perspective, much closer to jumping off your front porch.

Finally, I think it’s worth sharing that the challenges of managing one’s yearly financial needs never stops, even as you become more successful and as your gut becomes more refined - there are some years of “great plenty” and years of significant famine. You don’t give up you philosophy when you experience a windfall or serious financial exit as an entrepreneur – you save it and put it away for the future.

My wife and I love our lifestyle today, with all the ups and downs and round and rounds that come with it and there’s something magical that happens when you begin to live in a way that in unencumbered by the stresses of building one’s personal kingdom of wealth here on planet earth. We live fully in the moment, we love more deeply, and give of ourselves more freely than ever before.

If entrepreneurship has taught me anything it’s that it’s helped me focus on the things that really matter – the things that cannot possibly be bought with paper.

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Like you I spend a bunch of time every single day working through my inbox, answering emails, sending emails, reading emails, deleting emails. I’ve shared my personal inbox management system before so you can go ahead and read that if you missed it but the fact is that you and I spend a buttload of time there.

Which means, naturally, that there is a literal cost of real resources that we’ve allocated to it. I emphasize real here because some people have not ever thought about this and are making many people’s lives very miserable, like mine.

The next time you send an email, not just to me, but to anyone, consider how much time you are literally asking them to commit to reading it and what it might cost them, not just to directly respond to the email with a decent and thoughtful response but also what you are asking them to sacrifice in terms of their other responsibilities and priorities.

It makes me even reconsider how “important” the emails that I send out really are.

I was reminded of this just yesterday as an individual sent me a long email asking for my advice about Google Adsense (something I’ve already shared about in length) but specifically it’s application and optimization in Tunisia.

This email would have personally required an incredible amount of research and study so that I could answer his questions as they related to monetizing against click fraud in the tunisian technology culture.

Personally I would have deleted the email immediately but in a rare move I told this person quickly that this was more than I could answer in an email and if they wanted more professional advice I could skype with them on a per hour consulting contract.

This person then insulted me with their response. I hate when that happens. I’ve historically “outed” this ignorance by publicly posting their email for all to see but I stayed my hand on this one; this person just hasn’t really considered that his email may actually be asking that I give up a significant amount of my most valuable resource.

There is a literal cost of email and I fear it’s robbing us all of valuable productivity.

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Have you ever thought about spending time refining your “gut”?

I encountered this idea the other day when talking with a few other entrepreneurs about how they got their start and how they figured out which ideas were the ones that they should passionately and intentionally pursue.

What came from this conversation was a bunch of meaningful takeaways but the most intriguing one was this idea that your gut or intuition is one that is both natural and developed, the latter being an important part of an entrepreneurs’ success.

I began to wrestle with this idea on my drive back and thought about the practicalities of the idea and how one could actively engage, refine, and even train one’s intuition to become even more potent and perhaps more importantly, accurate.

After some cursory thought I realized that there is really no other solution than through sheer exercise. In other words, by practicing you are at the same time refining.

The biggest point though is execution, something that I talk about endlessly on this blog and in my keynotes and conference talks. I cannot say enough how important it is that you simply go and do that which you have set out in your mind to do. Investing in your gut and your intuition only becomes a true source of refinement and practice when you are able to see the results through labor.

Although I know close to nothing about giving birth I feel that this is one of the best examples of this in action. There are no birthing classes or books or educational videos, podcasts, or blog posts that can fully and adequately prepare a woman to actually give birth until they have experienced it themselves.

And once you do the entire world changes, your perspective of your idea radically pivots internally, and you will know if your idea was a good one to begin with. Your intuition and your gut is giving a “skill up” or “power up” and you’ll do much better the next time.

This is why entrepreneurs who have had previous successes in their ventures have a much higher rate of subsequent successes than any other kind of entrepreneur. Success begets more success. The execution of your intuition births better use of your instincts over time.

Do you want to be an entrepreneur? Then go do something instead of just talking about it. Talk is so cheap and it’s especially virulent online. You want the equivalent of an entrepreneurial “six pack”? Then go to the entrepreneurship gym.

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