vin. poésie. vertu.

Cold Cave - Love Comes Close DIG IT!

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:58:42 -0500

Cold Cave - Love Comes Close

DIG IT!

Sweet 16 Staten Island style. Again, hope for humanity? Gone.

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:05:30 -0500

Sweet 16 Staten Island style.

Again, hope for humanity? Gone.

Between this and the blonde couple I saw today wearing matching...

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:50:37 -0500

Between this and the blonde couple I saw today wearing matching argyle sweaters and holding hands, I’ve lost faith in humanity’s ability to continue on.

“For one thing, the Form 2 is for external use only. But...

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:23:00 -0500

“For one thing, the Form 2 is for external use only. But don’t think that the lack of dual stimulation is a failing: the Form 2 may not do everything, but what it does do, it does very, very well. The two ears (which can stimulate the labia, envelope the clitoris, and whatever else your dirty little mind imagines) are each powered by their very own motor…the better to vibrate as hard as possible, of course.” Marital Aid Test Kitchen: JimmyJane’s Form 2 - marital aid test kitchen - Fleshbot

Oh well NOW IT JUST ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE THANK YOU FLESHBOT WHICH FOR SOME REASON IS NOT BLOCKED BY WEBSENSE AT WORK DESPITE ALL OF THE PORN

Lessons from Full House

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:00:35 -0500

So Michelle’s fish “Frank” just gave birth to lots of little fish, and Danny told her she did the right thing by coming and telling him.

Because apparently Danny Tanner is a magical lamaze coach certified to assist in fish births.

ONLY TWO PAYMENTS OF $19.99! WHO’S GOING TO BUY IT FOR...

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:55:04 -0500

ONLY TWO PAYMENTS OF $19.99! WHO’S GOING TO BUY IT FOR ME?

On an unrelated note, today I went into American Apparel (I don’t know why! It’s like Indian food; once a year I have a compulsion to check it out in real life) and ended up buying a hoodie. The girl behind the counter goes, “Would you like a free panty or terry cloth bra? I only have extra large.” As I’m about to say, “No thanks,” I take one look at this thing that might cover my male dog’s nipples and just start to laugh and laugh. I literally couldn’t get any words out. Finally she goes, “Yeah, I’m super flat chested and I think the small is made for little boys.”

And that’s your American Apparel story of the day!

sundays are tricky

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:59:37 -0500

hamburgerskeleton:

we always get wasted and depressed

THIS GUY SPEAKS TRUTH TO POWER!

Sundays are also the day to put lots of things in ALL CAPS.

Fuck, I spent way too much money today and now I want to curl in a ball and cry.

EXPLAIN!

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:37:16 -0500

EXPLAIN!

Holy shit, I am actually watching The Prince & Me 2

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:12:22 -0500

Today I bought ankle boots I couldn’t afford and ate some pizza I shouldn’t have and now I’m watching The Prince & Me 2 and THIS IS MY LIFE.

On the other hand, three entire people did compliment me on my hat. The compliments went thusly:

“What a fantastic hat. It’s very Angelina Jolie in Changeling!”

“I love that hat! It’s very Urban Outfitters.”

“That’s a great hat. It really fits your head.”

It really fits your head. Amazing. For the record, it’s from Target, and it costs $14.99:

Apparently it really fits my head. I can’t vouch for yours.

This is Ryan Moore. He’s a professional golfer and a...

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 11:44:00 -0500

This is Ryan Moore. He’s a professional golfer and a professional hipster. He doesn’t even wear golf shoes. He wears sneakers with cleats installed.

I’m not sure if this is a sad day for golf or a great day for hipsters (or vice versa).

Thoughts that may or may not have occurred to me at various points over the past week

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:57:25 -0500

Does Flo Rida know that if he combines Flo and Rida that he gets Florida?

Or is that intentional?

On Grand Cayman, being insanely white.

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:52:43 -0500

On Grand Cayman, being insanely white.

Yeah, so I’ve been on vacation…

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:16:58 -0500

Yeah, so I’ve been on vacation…

Phillies Hope To End 364-Day World Series Drought | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:54:33 -0400

Phillies Hope To End 364-Day World Series Drought | The Onion - America's Finest News Source:

Honest to god, I’m sorry that this is all I seem to be able to talk about lately. I mean, I got called a cunt last night by an upset Yankees fan. Then he unfollowed me on Twitter while still commenting on my Facebook status AND talking to me online. THE WAYS OF THE INTERNET ARE SO CONFUSING SOMETIMES.

It occurs to me that I may be reaching point-of-no-return levels...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:56:18 -0400

It occurs to me that I may be reaching point-of-no-return levels of vulgarity. Then again it’s the World Series, and I live in Philadelphia and that’s just my god-fucking-given right.

Yum yum Termini Bros cupcakes! I’m bringing these babies...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 18:05:37 -0400

Yum yum Termini Bros cupcakes! I’m bringing these babies in to work tomorrow for whoever wants them.

I haven’t seen Philadelphia this pumped since last year’s election.

Also, this! Who’s preggo and wants to announce their...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 10:39:00 -0400

Also, this! Who’s preggo and wants to announce their possible infidelity to the world?

Apologies in advance, and if it makes you feel any better,...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 10:33:06 -0400

Apologies in advance, and if it makes you feel any better, I’m going to be totally incommunicada starting Friday evening for practically a week.

Or, you know, that whole Declaration of Independence thing. And...

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 13:07:00 -0400

Or, you know, that whole Declaration of Independence thing. And as for the Statue of Liberty, that’s in fuckin’ Jersey.

PS: I know New York City school standards suck and all, but it’s spelled Philly.

And don't forget about Bride Wars

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 10:44:38 -0400

Jean: Yeah, and they cut to Kate Hudson more than the effing pitcher! WHO CARES. She is the new Jessica Simpson (or at least let’s hope that she has the same effect).
Corinne: She couldn’t even stand up to cheer for them…Go back and make crappy movies with Matthew thanks!
Jean: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA: The Mets could make a better movie than Fools Gold, bitch!