Social media pervades our lives, and if you use your Facebook and your texts as some of the main ways that you communicate with your significant other, why should Valentine’s Day be any different? Valentine’s Day is a day when you show people how you care, so this year, make it a point to figure out how you can use social media to your best advantage.

Countdown Texts

If you don’t see your significant other until that evening, why not give them a romantic countdown every hour on the hour? Five hours until you next see them, send them a text that has the number five and something that you love about them. Every hour, count down the time until you show up at their door. This is something that is a little reminder that you care about them, and it also helps you to anticipate the time when you get to get together.

Facebook Statuses

Your facebook status is a good place to let people know where you stand. When Valentine’s Day rolls around, take a moment to change your status and to allow it to reflect how you feel. For example, you could be very blunt and simply state how much you love your significant other, or you could be a little more coy and choose a love quote that really speaks to you. Some people are more humorous and will leave their status as something like, “I like my coffee like I like my women, dark and bitter,” while others will choose something more poetic, like the line “All you need is love,” from the movie Moulin Rouge. Take a moment to find the things that speak to you and your significant other.

Poetry

Who doesn’t love poetry? When you are dealing with formats like texts, you ‘ll find that your ability to send vast tomes of verse to be quite limited. However, there’s nothing that says that you cannot go line by line. Choose your favorite love poem and send it line by line over the course of the day. On the other hand, if you relish a bit of a personal touch, why not write your own and send it? You can always try to write your own haiku, the celebrated Japanese verse that consists of three lines, with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second and five agin in the third.

Memories

When you want to send your loved one a romantic text on Valentine’s Day, think about the memories that you share. Where have you gone together, and what do you want to do? See if you can evoke your favorite memories based on a single phrase or sentence. You can also send them a text about where you might like to take them in the future.

There are so many romantic things that you can do, so see what’s out there!

This article was submitted by Jeremy Taylor of CLEAR internet service provider. He enjoys writing about entertainment, social media and technology.

Technology has crept its sneaky little fingers in and manipulated the way we develop feelings for each other, how we date and even how we have sex. I can’t say I’m complaining, because it certainly makes things easier, but what does it mean for the future of our relationships? Let’s explore what it’s done so far.

Ten years ago, you likely thought that internet dating was reserved for people who were desperate, old or weird. I know I did. Nowadays, 1 in 5 relationships start online and I’m sure that number is only going to increase. Half of my twenty something friends use online dating sites and if I were single, I probably would too. Now we can vet out the weirdos and the creeps without ever stepping in a bar. We’re simply fast tracking the painful part of the process. No muss, no fuss, straight to the point. Who has time to do it the old-fashioned way these days?

Social media platforms have become tools that are so deeply ingrained in our daily lives that it’s sometimes hard to define where our online and offline lives begin and end. We can stalk our friends getting married or getting dumped. We can spread pointless news far faster than we could ever need and more importantly, we can keep a watchful eye on our partner or potential partners. Whether you admit it or not, you know you have stalked your partner at some point and you’ve most definitely stalked your ex. But has social media made it easier for people to emotionally cheat and harder for people to move on after break ups? How do we process our feelings about someone when they are constantly in our news feed? And what keeps your partner from reaching out to their ex when they are only a click away? It’s a nifty tool that has proved to be just as detrimental as it is amazing. Sometimes I think dating was easier when it wasn’t in our face all the time.

I am a part of a texting generation. While high schoolers today are really considered the texters, I have to say that phone calls are rare these days. Why chat when I can just shoot you a text? Unfortunately, that mentality has bleed over into dating. You don’t get a call the day after you’ve met someone. They text you. Hey, what’s up? It’s easy. It takes off the pressure of actually have to dial and think of something to say. Instead you find yourself engrossed in an hour long text off, while you grin ear to ear. Your day stops and you glue yourself to your screen. All to have a conversation that could have verbally occurred in a matter of ten minutes. Texting is great, but sometimes I wish guys could just do it old school and call you.

Now when it comes to sex and technology, I can’t say that I have any complaints. Why would I when they can finally make vibrators that are so well researched and developed that they will instantly hit every key spot you have? Not to mention they’re rechargeable and made of body safe materials. Yes, yes please. Or can we talk about the Ohmibod vibrator that syncs up with your mp3 player and buzzes along to music. Genius. Want one? You can find these awesome toys at Adam & Eve.

The talk of technology and sex would be nothing without the mention of porn. Porn has gone from burlesque shows, to magazines to large scale movies. It is reported that porn sites now make up 12% of all the websites on the internet. Porn has even been given its own extension of .xxx and is virtually waiting for you at the end of your fingertips. You can now find it for free online and aren’t nearly as likely to get viruses from looking at it. Just think about what your teenage years would have been like had you had porn so readily available.

Finally, much like dating, sex has become much easier to attain. Maybe you’re not looking for a date, but you’re looking to fill your bed for the evening. You can now find people looking for the same by using sites like Grindr. GPS trackers on our phone can sync up with others who are nearby and looking for a little hanky panky. Don’t waste your time with drinks, just meet in the bathroom. Once again, this is about efficiency and saving time and money. Don’t waste your breath if you’re both just trying to get down. Technology is technically blowing you (away).

Flickr photo by Jhaymesisviphotography via Creative Commons license 2.0

In real life, we often meet new people through family and friends. Social media already facilitates these connections. If you set your privacy settings on Facebook to be available to “friends of friends” then you’re likely to find folks who hang in similar circles as yourself. It’s one thing to have interests in common or to like the same bands, but if you’re both friends with someone, there’s a common ground that’s more specific than a bunch of data points. You likely share a similar worldview or social class or what-have-you. The same cohort.

Same with Twitter. You can now see the people that you both follow. And it stands to reason that if you both enjoy reading similar tweets, you have some indefinable thread that connects you intellectually or socially.

Compare this with online dating. You’re basically starting at zero when you sign up at an online dating site. You’re isolated from your network, and it’s just you amidst a sea of seekers. You can search for a date using any number of variables, but in the real world, some of the most important variables are the people that you’re close to. This social graph is much more valuable as a tool than demographic info and a list of interests. After all, our friendships and families are often the glue that holds relationships together.

Yes, our primary relationships do not function in a vacuum. Just as it takes a village to raise a family, why isn’t it the case that it takes one to keep two people together? And why only depend on them after you have met someone?

Comment below: What are your thoughts? Do Facebook and Twitter supplant the need for traditional online dating sites?

HerWay believes that when a woman makes the first move, a face-to-face connection is more likely, as women know what they want in a man. Also, she feels more empowered because she is not being bombarded with emails and feeling obligated to respond to men to tell them why she’s not interested.

From the perspective of evolutionary biology, this approach to online dating does make sense – to an extent. After all, it is the female who must be selective, because she is the one who must bear and raise offspring, so she is looking for a mate with the best possible genes. Yet instead of appraising the men who approach her, on HerWay she looks for those traits that she finds most attractive.

It’s not all that different than looking for a sperm donor: Ivy League education, over six feet tall, earns six figures. But unlike at a clinic, she has to take the risk that the guy doesn’t reciprocate the attraction.

I would think that all the usual issues about appearing appealing on an online dating site will still apply for the woman (having the right photo, etc.) but she’s just saving herself a lot of time and headache by having to weed through hundreds of messages and winks.

This site has the potential to bring up some interesting questions when the gender roles are reversed:

• How does a woman go about expressing her interest?
• How does a man let a woman know that he’s not all that interested?
• Given the self-selection process, is this site going to attract assertive women and passive/receptive men?

Comment below: What do you think of this approach to online dating?

One of the things that’s hardest to keep a secret on Facebook (or in life in general, really) is one’s relationship status. Not only is it listed right away on your profile, but it’s one of the things people are nosiest about. Even with the new privacy changes Facebook is making, choosing to share your status with ‘just friends’ still doesn’t narrow down the crop much. If your relationship status changes at all, expect to get plenty of comments from friends (many people have 500 ‘friends’ or more), and know that the guy you met at the bar this weekend probably friended you mostly to see if you had a boyfriend you forgot to mention.

However, it’s not just friends and acquaintances who are getting data from your profile. Outside vendors also glean information from the site and uncover which ads to throw on your sidebar based on your likes, your favorite music, and – you guessed it – your relationship status. Single? Expect to see plenty of online dating or matchmaking ads right below your events and birthdays for the week. In a relationship? Plenty of people will tell you they’ve seen engagement ring advertisements and promotions for cookware and food alongside their friends’ party pictures. Whether you’re completely unattached or married, Facebook probably has an ad targeted at you based on what you say about your relationship or lack thereof. Your status is no longer there just to let friends and would-be significant others know if you’re on the market or not. Now it’s used to make money for Zuckerberg and company.

When it comes down to it though, Facebook is on the Internet, and whatever you put there – save secure passwords and financial information (hopefully) – is fair game. Yes, Facebook started as a social networking site meant to connect you to your friends at school. But now – as you should well know unless you’ve been living under a rock – Facebook is accessible to everyone and is being used as a business tool in many capacities. This includes using your relationship status to target you for advertisements, which some are definitely not OK with.

What do you think? Does it bother you when Facebook suggests you join Zoosk.com or buy kitchen utensils? Are you hesitant about changing your relationship status for fear that everyone will speculate and comment on the recent news? Does the recent news that Facebook was never intended to be super-private make you think twice about saying anything about your dating life? Or have you managed to avoid these issues completely by taking down your relationship status altogether?

Share your comments below.

However, it does happen that somewhere along the line, you might want to actually gain them back as a Facebook friend. While it’s pretty obvious how you would go about re-friending an ex, the real question is going to be why do you want to? And is it really a good idea, considering your reason?

You’re re-friending an ex in order to…

Check up on the ex

Many times, curiosity gets the best of us, and we really just have to know if our former flame is dating someone else or is even still in the same state as we are. Did he gain weight? Did she lose her job? Who’s writing on his wall?! While it might drive you crazy not to know what’s going on in his or her life, it will probably make you even more batty knowing what he or she is up to. In this case, if you’re just being nosy, and have no interest in getting back together with the ex, leave this one alone. Even if you hit the re-friend button, the other party in the past relationship might suspect something is up and deny your friend request anyway. Which will probably just take those crazy levels up another notch.

Let them see you and what you’re doing

If this is your motivation, I suspect life is going pretty well for you. And this is your way of gloating and saying, “Look how well I’m doing and how hot I’ve gotten since we broke up.” Frankly, probably not the most mature reason for trying to reconnect with an ex on Facebook, but I’m not here to judge. If this happens to be your logic, then consider why you want them to know you’re living life – post-relationship – to the fullest. Were you insecure about something when you were with her? Are you actually trying to make him want you back? Be honest with yourself on this one, and then decide whether or not re-friending the guy you recently referred to as your “psycho ex-boyfriend” is such a good idea.

Show that you’ve made amends

This is one intention I won’t argue with, because it’s actually a pretty good one. You’ve moved on, but you also want to show that you haven’t burned that bridge. Or if you have, you wouldn’t mind rebuilding it. Maybe you realize that you ended the relationship a bit dramatically, or that you flung some harsh words you didn’t mean, and having that person in your life wouldn’t be such a bad thing. As long as making amends doesn’t truly mean ‘stealing him back from the bitch he’s dating now,’ then, with this reason, you’re in the clear.

Just like any other way you might reconnect with an ex, consider seriously why you want to re-friend the old boyfriend or girlfriend on Facebook. If it’s with the best intentions, go for it. If not … well, again, there’s always de-friending.

Comment below: Have you re-friended an ex?

More Articles on Facebook and Your Ex:

• Keeping It Cool With an Ex on Facebook
• Let’s Not Be Friends: Facebook Ex Etiquette
• When Is It OK to Block or Defriend a Guy?
• Hate Reading Your Ex’s Facebook Wall? Learn How to STOP.
• Breaking up (on Facebook) is hard to do
• Facebook revenge: Announcing your breakup and blocking your ex

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Our friends over at BadOnlineDates want to hear your worst dating stories. And they’re holding a contest with prizes – a $50 gift card, a “Worst Date Ever” T-shirt – to motivate you to participate! All you need to do is register an account with them and blog about it by June 1. Read the full details.

Be sure to tell them we sent you!

If you’re ready to take the plunge though, there are certain things to be careful of. When replying to an NSA ad, make sure to include all the information the poster wants, which is most often: age, weight and a recent photograph. But make sure you get at least that in return. Avoid posters who do not reciprocate photos, because they’re usually not serious or they’re not showing their picture for a reason. Avoid virgins and people asking for anything material in return – that’s the opposite of NSA. Try not to be too picky or worried about things like body-type or looks – you’re most likely never going to see this person again. Just make sure they’re down to get down and do exactly what you both want to do. If you’re too choosy, you’re never going to find the right (now) person.

Always make sure to trade phone numbers or screen names and keep the conversation to a minimum. Discuss only important things, like where you’re going to meet, where you’re going to do it and where you want to put it. Make sure the meeting place is in a public location. And because photos were traded, you should have no problem finding the person. Be weary of meeting up at someone’s house or in their hotel or motel room for safety reasons – you can never be too careful. Once you meet, if you’re ready to get down, then get to it. Make sure to drive separate cars, for a quick getaway in case things go awry, and head to whatever location you discussed earlier.

Now, do the deed. Avoid the nervous chatter and discussion, you both know why you’re there. Don’t stick to a strict script, make sure you feel comfortable with whatever’s going down – whether it be more or less than you discussed. Use protection, of course, because there’s nothing worse than getting the clap from someone from the list. Most importantly enjoy yourself! Sex almost always comes with strings attached – at least in one of the people’s minds. NSA sex is the perfect way to just get yours.

After it’s over, it’s up to the both of you whether you want to make the jump from NSA to FB (fuck buddy). If he or she doesn’t, don’t be hurt, that’s just he nature of NSA. Zip up your pants, tuck your underwear in your pocket and head out the door, deleting their number out of your phone on the way out.

Related:

• Casual Encounters: Strangers Connecting on Craigslist
• How to Respond to a Casual Encounters Personal Ad on Craigslist
• How to Find Sex Online (Without Being Slimy)

We talk about online dating here so much that it seems like the norm. And truthfully, it is becoming much more common. But often, we forget that there are still some people who are entirely, completely, wholeheartedly against it – even if they still choose to partake in it. For every person who, when asked, will tell you nonchalantly that she met her significant other online, there are plenty of others who will stumble their way through a vague story about meeting through friends.

If you haven’t already figured out your answer to the “How did you two meet?” question, now might be the time to start thinking about it – because it will, undoubtedly, come up. The first thing you need to do is sit down with the other party in your relationship and decide together what you want to say. This prevents those awkward moments when people meet your new guy or gal for the first time and one of you blurts out, “Match.com,” while the other stammers, “at a party,” when asked how you got together. Take it from someone who knows – it can be a bit disarming when a family member asks how you met, and your boyfriend shrugs and says, “online,” while you stare at him open-mouthed because you hadn’t even thought about how you’d answer the question yet.

If you are both modern, tech-embracing folks and really take no issue with telling the truth about how you met, at least let each other know this ahead of time, before anyone even asks. If one or both of you isn’t, then figure out if you’ll be able to make yourselves OK with it, or if you need to get your “story” straight before the interrogations start. (Hint: You’ll probably know from the start if your SO is OK with admitting to online dating. If he has “We’ll say we met in a bar” or “Can we pretend we met at Starbucks?” as his dating headline, chances are he won’t be cool with throwing around the fact that you met on the Internet.)

Your friends and family will want to know all the little details about your first rendezvous, so be prepared – but not too prepared. Unless you both have amazing memories and can lie with the ease of con artists, it’s best not to create an elaborate tale. One of you will likely say you met on a Saturday night at a party, and the other will say it was a Friday and a friend introduced you at a bar. Once your story gets twisted like that, people will probably catch on and you’ll have to own up to the truth. Keep it vague, but not so vague that it sounds like something out of a romantic comedy.

So should you or shouldn’t you tell the truth about how you met? Ultimately, it’s up to you and what you both agree on. Just know that intricately woven stories can get tricky to tell over and over again, and that in this day and age especially, honesty is usually the best policy.

Related:

• Overcome your resistance to online dating
• Full Disclosure in Online Dating
• How to Represent Yourself Honestly Online