What I Eat, Apparently

Red Velvet Cake Mix Cookies!

ptocheia — Sun, 13 May 2012 20:00:14 +0000

So whenever I see cake mix for like a buck a pop, I generally stock up. Cake mix doesn’t exactly sit around and collect dust. Well, for me it doesn’t at least. And it’s not that I even make all that many cakes. I’ll totally jump at an opportunity to whip up something for someone’s birthday, mind you. However, up until rather recently it was just me living on my lonesome, which is no way to make an entire cake go away.

However, I am totally addicted to using cake mix to make cookies. I’m pretty sure I use cake mix for cookies more than I do for actual cake. Once you get beyond the whole “hey, these cookies taste a whole lot like cake” part (which I personally think is pretty freaking awesome), cake mix cookies are fast, easy (I’ll refrain from any “like your mom” comments, as it is Mother’s Day), and almost guaranteed to be soft in the middle (much like your, uh, nevermind!).

I’d never tried making cookies using red velvet cake, and as I had a friend’s birthday coming up, I decided that would be the perfect opportunity. There’s variations on the recipe, and I don’t have any set one I’ve been using, so I just googled “cake mix cookie recipe” and ended up going with this Duncan Hines one.

Ironically, I wasn’t even using a Duncan Hines mix (I believe I was going with Pillsbury), but I doubt brand really matters as the size of the mix itself was the same. So, the recipe called for two eggs and a half cup of oil. The batter ended up seeming really oily, so I’m not so sure about that entire half cup.

I added in some tiny chocolate chips for good measure. Rolled them into balls, baked at 360 degrees at 11 minutes, and they spread out accordingly. They totally did that cookie thing where you take them out of the oven and at first you’re all like “Wow, they’re so thick and fluffy!” and then you come back 5 minutes later and feel that teeny twinge of disappointment when they’re not nearly as tall anymore. They didn’t get flat, mind you, I’m just a sucker for a fluffy cookie.

(Yeah, those white bits? This is why I need to use an actual mixer more often, rather than using hands and a spoon.)

The oiliness of the batter didn’t impact the cookies as much as I was afraid it might. They were still a little heavy, but not significantly so. I think the moistness from the chocolate chips might have helped to balance out any excessive greasiness the cookies had. Anyhow, these were pretty darn tasty. I really liked how the final product had a crackle-like surface to them, with deeper red showing through the cracks. Next time I might add pecans or walnuts as well. Anyhow, cookie success!

Deliciousness from Hamburger Mary’s! Also, I am a bad bad poster.

ptocheia — Thu, 03 May 2012 01:50:43 +0000

No, really. Around the time I started working 70+ hours a week (and had to pack for a move), I suddenly had a lack of time to post here. Plus a lack of content as well – feeding off of Chinese food for several days in a row does not a good post make, even if it does many delicious meals make. Work’s gotten a bit better (and the aforementioned move is over) so things should improve a bit for the three of you sitting on the edge of your seats awaiting my awful writing!

So anyhow, there’s this restaurant here in Denver called Hamburger Mary’s, which I just learned actually has 12 locations scattered around the country. I am a big fan of any establishment that supports drag queens, which Hamburger Mary’s does, though we were not lucky enough to visit on a night when they were having a show. They did have a game room in the back, complete with a few sets of Giant Jenga (I’m a big fan). And they as well had delightful beverages!

I went for a blueberry margarita, and my dining companion Alysia went for some sort of strawberry margarita, if I remember correctly. It was delicious, though I’m always a little discombobulated whenever a margarita is served in a glass that isn’t giant and vatlike. Maybe I’ve had a little too much experience eating at the sort of Mexican restaurants that do margarita specials, where you look like the odd one out if you aren’t sucking down a 32oz salt rimmed monster. (Not that there’s anything wrong with 32oz salt-rimmed monsters, mind you)

Anyhow, their menu is fairly extensive (with some pretty cute names for some of the entrees). Though I was tempted by other things, I figured I ought to get a burger, given the name of the restaurant. So I went for the “The Big ‘O’”. If you are slathered in guacamole, it is pretty much guaranteed that I am incapable of saying “no” to you.

This sucker was pretty big. And, at $10.95, I’m glad it was. I’m a pretty cheap bastard, so it always seems a bit painful to pay that much for a burger, but it helps to keep in mind the portion size. Either split it with a friend, or plan on it being your lunch the next day too (get a to-go box ahead of time and chop the burger in half if you have to) and you’re good to go. Anyhow, it was delightful. Burgertastic, guactastic even. I would totally put this in my mouth again were it to magically appear in front of me at this very moment. And I totally need to get back to Hamburger Mary’s, as nothing makes a great evening quite like drag queens and fried food!

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So Much Salsa!

ptocheia — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 23:53:52 +0000

Salsa is a beautiful thing. I will dump it on pretty much anything I’d also use ketchup, tomato, or marinara sauce with. How convenient, indeed, that Chris is a master of generating incredibly large volumes of salsa.

First, the ingredients:

So when I make pretty much anything involving peppers, I usually stick to green, as I am a cheap ho. I am baffled by whatever higher-up degreed that yellow, orange, and red peppers should cost more than green peppers. Are they that much more difficult to grow? They are certainly much more festive, but I hardly think festiveness earns anything a surcharge.

So Chris has this magical plastic device from his days of shilling kitchenware, whereupon you put a bunch of salsa ingredients into said device, twist a handle for awhile, and find yourself with delightful salsa or pico de gallo (depending on how soon your arms gets tired from cranking). Also included in this magical plastic set is a little dealio (and yes, that is the technical term) that you can shove into a lemon or lime to easily juice it. And, here’s a shot of that dealio in action!

Post-grinding, the salsa looked like this (and I’d seriously love a bathtub full of this stuff on a hot day….to, uh, dip all of my chips in…yeah…):

Ended up with about three lbs of salsa total. And trust me, this is not a bad thing at all. The lemon and lime totally agree!

So, since one cannot live on salsa alone, I ended up making a great deal of chicken quesadillas to eat with the salsa. So first, here’s my new favorite way to cut avocados (because avocado goes with pretty much anything that I’d eat salsa with):

The quesadilla itself was pretty basic – tortilla, then a few types of shredded cheese, a few chunks of pre-baked chicken, another tortilla on top, bake at 360 for 12 minutes.

It’s weird – I used to be a big proponent of shoving as many things as possible into a quesadilla. Then, at some point I realized this made the quesadilla highly prone to falling apart on it’s way to my mouth, as well as causing unnecessary sliminess. So these days, for the most part I stick to just putting meat and cheese inside my quesadilla. Most vegetables are better fresh anyhow when paired with a quesadilla, so I just pile everything I want on top. Which of course still leads to it falling apart on the way to my mouth. Oops!

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City O City for all of your delightful vegetarian needs

ptocheia — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:28:46 +0000

City O City is one of those places that I’ve walked by a bunch of times but never fully recognized was a restaurant until recently. It’s about a four block walk from where I live, and for some reason the giant painting on the side of the building always suggested a tattoo parlor. Nonetheless, I recently found myself there on a Saturday evening with a few friends.

It was about a 20 minute wait and holy cow I really wanted dessert the entire time. There’s a counter up front with a large display of desserts, and I spent most of that time eyeballing the cupcakes. I swore I’d save myself room for something that was chock full of sugar.

Figured I better get some vegetables, so I started with some minestrone soup.

The soup was magical in my mouth and my belly. I’m a sucker for minestrone soup, and would totally get it again.

City O City is all-vegetarian, and as my dining companion Chris was feeling squeamish regarding the lack of available meaty familiar items, we went for a safe and always delightful option – pizza!

We went with the three cheese pizza, AKA “Fromage a Trois”. I’m not completely sure which three cheeses were involved in said fromage a trois, but one was mozzarella and at least one of the other two was delightful and sharp.

Alysia went with the Winter Margherita pizza, made with fresh mozzarella, basil, and tomatoes. I stole a slice, and found it delightful. Not quite as delightful as the 3 cheese one, but I do have a weakness for some sharp cheese on pizza. Add that sharp cheese to the winter margherita and we’d have a winner!

Troy, the full-fledged vegan in our group, went with some mac & cheese and ribs. Or rather, mac & “cheese” and “ribs”.

I didn’t try the ribs, but I did get a chance to sample the mac & cheese. And, I suppose I’m a poor person to properly rate the mac & cheese, not being vegan myself. An omnivore at heart, I enjoy vegetarian food, even vegan food on occasion, but I’ve never been too big on fake versions of things. I’ll shovel down cheese-based and bean-based things all day long, but, as a meat and cheese eater, faux meat and faux cheese will always taste like a lesser version of the same thing. So, the mac & cheese tasted like “hey, I bet this is pretty good to those that don’t eat cheese, but it makes me want to put cheese all over it.” D’oh!

And that dessert? Of course that didn’t happen. Despite splitting a personal pizza, it filled me right up and, of course, left me no room for dessert. On the bright side, City O City is only 4 blocks away, so the next time I pass by, I might just swing in for a delightful cupcake.

Cinnamon Sugar Biscuit Donuts (AKA Naughty Donuts)!

ptocheia — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 18:50:53 +0000

So a little while back, I came across this recipe for what looked like the Easiest Donuts Ever. Dubbed “Naughty Donuts”, they’re basically deep fried biscuits. Considering how amazing non deep-fried biscuits are, I had to try deep-fried ones.

So I got a roll of whatever the off-brand version of Pillsbury butter biscuits is. I needed to get those holes in there somehow, so I went with the only thing I could find in my kitchen that was close to a donut hole shape.

I don’t own a deep fryer, so I just filled a pot with a gratuitous amount of vegetable oil, and let these babies fry away, flipping them after a minute or so.

I made some vague attempts to blot the excess oil off, but let’s face it, if you’re already deep frying something, blotting extra oil really isn’t going to do that much. Besides, the coating’s gotta stick to something, right?

I mixed together some sugar and cinnamon in a bowl, and rolled the donuts and holes around until appropriately coated.

These things were pretty awesome, and I’d totally make them again. They’re best if they’re going to be eaten right away, though. Still good when room temperature, but reheating in the microwave makes you very aware of how much oil soaked into them when deep-fried.

Anyhow, I totally wanna try experimenting with this recipe. My current idea is to not strip the holes out of the middle, and to get some chocolate chips in there somehow. Deep fry that, and coat it with powdered sugar. Mmm magical!