Suckless Blogs

Not Everything Written on the Internet is True

2011-01-18T14:57:00.001-08:00

This is for you Steve, because I know you only believe what you read online.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2009-06-09T09:48:00.000-07:00

http://happiestpeopleever.tumblr.com/

Nothing says joy like a decidedly neutral facial expression, at least that's what my mom's always told me. This guy apparently grew up nearby or something because I can't imagine someone looking less overjoyed by two World Series trophies than this guy. You can keep the trophies though, there's nothing that makes me smile quite like a good Tumblr blog. Go peep some people in sore need of some extra pep in their steps.

The Beginning Of The End, The World's First Credit Card

2009-06-08T11:51:00.000-07:00

I was poking around the Internet, as I often do, when I stumbled upon this:

What is it? This is the first credit card... ever! Check out this article on the history of credit cards from The Big Money and see how these little cards evolved into the meddlesome creatures they are today.

I'm On A Boat (With T-Pain)

2009-06-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

I just need to make sure you've seen this... I feel it's very important.

From Air Sex to ... Did I Mention Air Sex?

2009-06-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

http://laughingsquid.com/

Stealing ideas from Japan is always a good idea, I think we all know that, but an air sex competition? Well that's just plain obvious, I really don't understand how we never thought of it. Luckily we're out of the dark ages and Laughing Squid is helping us see the highlights. So whether you wanna see chicks pretending to be dudes humping make believe chicks or ... something else... there's a bunch of cool stuff and interesting vids for your amusement here.

Bionic Masturbation... and Other Stuff That's Awesome

2009-06-02T11:24:00.000-07:00

http://www.holytaco.com/

If my options were to jump off a cliff or get hit by a plane landing on me I'd wonder what choices I made in my life to wind up with such shitty choices. That being said, I'm not convinced I'd take the jump off a cliff route like these chaps, but I suppose when a plane is barreling down on you it doesn't take much of a plan B to sound like a good option. Anyway, if you love stuff that doesn't suck... and isn't that why you're here... then you'll love the non-stop awesomeness which is Holy Taco.

Dropping Bombs

2009-06-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

Wow... I want one.

Courtesy of A Herd of Turtles

There's A Hot Chick Out There For Every Guy... Apparently

2009-05-27T23:23:00.001-07:00

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

Have you ever seen a perfect ten wandering around with a perfect douche in the mall, or at the beach, or in a bar? I think we all have. Every time you see someone who you know can't possibly deserve to be dating the knockout they're clinging to, just remember, that means you still have hope too, no matter how out of shape or uncool you become. So pick your chin up and wet your mohawk, cause you never know.

I Promise To Figure Out How To Suck Less

2009-05-27T09:29:00.001-07:00

Just want to keep everyone afloat of my situation, so here's the steez. I got a new job, great news for most, but it's cutting into my valuable blogging time. Posts will most likely come in the evening instead of mid-day from now on, but I plan on keeping you stocked full of suckless blogs, so don't lose hope! There is still a reason to live, and this blog is it.

Your Mission For Memorial Day Weekend

2009-05-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

Work the advice of this comic into a conversation. If you get a good story out of it, let me know!

Courtesy of http://xkcd.com

Public Embarrasment: Good For The Newspaper, Good For The Soul

2009-05-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

http://criggo.com/

Nothing says good times like watching other people humiliate themselves, and everyone knows, the more public the better. It's funny to think that these newspapers actually have editors who buy off on this stuff, but I guess they have better things to do than their jobs... I mean just check out these great deals! See how stupid newspapers can be at Criggo.

That's What She Said: Now The MOST Versatile Joke in The World

2009-05-21T11:21:00.001-07:00

I don't make the rules, but according to Urban Dictionary "That's What She Said" is now the most versatile joke on the planet. Let's look at some examples of how this little ditty can be used...

Try the spotted dick?
I've never had one of those before.
That's what she said.

(Observing a soccer goal)
From this angle it always looks like its going in.
That's what she said.

Look at my new car
What do you do with one that's so big
That's what she said

You get the idea. I'm not questioning the accuracy of Urban Dictionary, because I love them, but most versatile? I'm not so sure, it points the joke in a decidedly singular direction, although the funnel can start from just about anywhere.

I know you're aching for more (That's what she said) so here's a nice little blog for you that takes other people's TWSS jokes on twitter and collects them. Enjoy.

New Feature: Random Junk!

2009-05-21T11:19:00.000-07:00

By popular demand I have decided to start including a little of my own content here on the site instead of merely referring you to the many worthwhile blogs out there. So from here on out you can expect everything Suckless Blogs has always brought you, plus a little extra. I'm just saying... this is a pretty good deal.

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait, And I Always Run Late.

2009-05-20T14:08:00.000-07:00

http://tweetingtoohard.com/

Have you ever woken up in the morning and felt really important? Like talking about yourself in the third person important? Like no, I don't have time to sign an autograph for you important? Well neither have I, but I found some people who probably can't say the same. Check out Tweeting Too Hard and you'll find a collection of douchebags so self-absorbed by their own greatness they don't even notice the rest of us making fun of them.

Your Secret's Safe, Just Not With Me. Post Secret.

2009-05-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

First order of business, sorry for missing yesterday, I'm sick as a dog and I couldn't crawl out of bed long enough to find something for you. In light of my condition I found a blog to suit my somber mood of mending. This blog will probably not make you laugh, but it will show you that some people have some pretty interesting stories and they're not all happy. It's a quick hitting photo blog that's worth your time, so check it out.

Man Up, And Keep It Up. The Man Institute.

2009-05-15T13:02:00.000-07:00

http://www.maninstitute.com/

Alright so I was reading through this blog thinking, hey, manliness, that's entertaining right? Well f@ckin A! As I was reading through the pages I found this article about a guy who cut off his own arm. Now I've heard this kind of stuff before but I'd always pictured it as some crazed animal reaction devoid of thought and reason that just happened to somehow work out. This guy, however... THIS GUY, knew exactly what he was doing and holy crap, just reading about it is intense. There's also a video of him describing it. So read the whole site but for the love of all that is good don't skip that article.

Because The News Shouldn't Suck As Bad As Everything In It

2009-05-14T09:39:00.000-07:00

http://www.misanthropytoday.com/

I know what you're thinking, another freakin news site... Yawn. Well stop that, stop that right now. This isn't boring news like politics and local crime. This is a site covering important issues, like how to safely avoid panhandlers, the merits of teabagging, and how to properly conduct a revenge plot against yourself. Sure everything in the world might suck, but Misanthropy Today doesn't.

Is That A Horn Or A Poop? My Only Kidding.

2009-05-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

http://www.myonlykidding.com/If Satan's horns look like this I can understand why he'd be in such a bad mood all the time, it looks like this lady's forehead is trying to pinch a loaf... gross. I'm going to be honest with you, if this picture doesn't get you interested enough to at least check out this blog, well then your loss. From Japanders to old ladies with horns, there is are quite a few amusing topics broached at My Only Kidding.

Please Tell Me You've Never (Ever) Done This: Why Women Hate Men

2009-05-12T16:21:00.000-07:00

http://whywomenhatemen.blogspot.com/***NOT 100% WORK SAFE. MOST PAGES ARE BUT OPEN WITH CAUTION***

Have you ever tried to lure a women by posting pictures of your penis or by explaining how you are, "the best clit eater they've ever had taste them?" *shudder* If so, it's time to find an alternative to sex because it's a lost cause. On the off chance this is not how you attempt to court women (while perusing the Internet personals), then let your jaw drop as you read some of the worst personal ads ever posted. This fellas, is why women hate men.

Life, Less Boring. The Bloggess Speaks.

2009-05-11T11:05:00.000-07:00

http://thebloggess.com/Here's a quick checklist to see if you might like reading along with The Bloggess...

Do you enjoy clown sex and/or not enjoy clown sex?
Would you potentially be entertained by lemur meat suits?
If you caught a fish that had arms attached to it would you notice?
Hypothetically speaking, would you find it funny if a giraffes peed on someone?

If you answered yes or no to any of the above questions, then enter. The Bloggess awaits.

PS. Bonus Clown Porn Link

Put It In Writing: Texts From Last Night

2009-05-08T12:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/FACT: Drunk texting is a regrettable experience 99% of the time.
FACT: The more you regret it, the funnier other people will think it is.
FACT: You want to be the only friend you have that knows about Textsfromlastnight.com.
FACT: If something you've sent to somebody is on here, you don't want anyone to know.
FACT: Texts From Last Night is Hilarious with a capital H. Check it.

Let Me Show You My 'No' Face. Disapproving Rabbits.

2009-05-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

http://www.disapprovingrabbits.com/I used to think bunnies were cute little fluff balls that hopped around and pooped everywhere, but thanks to Disapproving Rabbits I now know they're just little grumpy old men who need a shave. See how many ways rabbits can express their disapproval and you'll never look at them the same again. Don't you scowl at me rabbit, don't you do it you little bastard.

One Week Of Suckless Blogs!

2009-05-06T12:18:00.001-07:00

It's the one week anniversary of creating Suckless Blogs and we're off to a flying start! People are coming from all over the world to visit and more people are joining in on the fun every day. What needs to happen next is FULL DOMESTIC PARTICIPATION, and unfortunately we've got a few states who have yet to be represented. So let's see if a putting said stragglers on the spot won't induce them to come out of hiding.

Would someone from the following states please join us:
Montana
Wyoming
South Dakota
Oklahoma
Mississippi
Arkansas
West Virginia
Delaware
New Hampshire

So we can say we have everyone involved in making the Internet suck less?

Just For Argument's Sake, Your Girlfriend Could Be Crazier

2009-05-06T10:46:00.000-07:00

http://www.mil-millington.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Today I was remembering an old girlfriend of mine that made me welcome the idea of somehow winding up in a horror movie so I could be sure at least one of us would be killed. I figured with a 50/50 chance it would be her that died first, those odds were reasonable enough to take my chances. Many of us have dated some pretty crazy people, but the couple in this blog may take the cake. With arguments on topics ranging from how to use a mirror when shaving to wearing your girlfriend's underwear, there's not much these two agree on and they know it.

Ain't No One Can Rock a Mullet Like Me

2009-05-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

http://mulletlikeme.com/
Do you like NASCAR? If you do, then you probably already know what it's like to be a redneck with a mullet trying to fit into modern society. For the rest of us, we are equally confused by the appeal of cut-off beer shirts and cars turning left over and over again. Luckily, there's one man and his mullet going underground to bring us the perspective of the mullet-laden man in America. Check out Mullet Like Me and see what it's like.