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AGE: 47
OCCUPATION: Mattress King of Cleveland
INTERESTS: high thread counts and low prices
LOOKING FOR: someone driven, nice, hardworking, motivated, with the arms of an Austrian body builder
AGE: 49
OCCUPATION: Horse sanctuary owner
INTERESTS: Horses, Puzzles, and horse puzzles
LOOKING FOR: a struggling comedian, gout-free, prior horse experience not required but preferred
AGE: Age is just a number. Speaking of, what’s yours?
OCCUPATION: Light bulb assembly
INTERESTS: Bees, milk from almonds, sweeping you off your foot
LOOKING FOR: You
AGE: Kitty Buckley
OCCUPATION: Kitty Buckley
INTERESTS: Kitty Buckley
LOOKING FOR: The Kitty Buckley to my Kitty Buckley
AGE: 23
OCCUPATION: Physical Trainer
INTERESTS: Delts and quads. Looking to get back into my traps
LOOKING FOR: Anyone. Anyone at all. Please.
AGE: 35
OCCUPATION: Motivational Speaker
INTERESTS: yes
LOOKING FOR: whatever you want is fine
AGE: 40?
OCCUPATION: Full-Time teacher, Part-time hunter
INTERESTS: Animal puns, animal paraphernalia, animals in general (living or dead), French onion dip
LOOKING FOR: Something stable with meaty hands
AGE: 32
OCCUPATION: Slip and Fall Lawyer
INTERESTS: Learning more about beaches
LOOKING FOR: Someone who can come up with more nicknames for the name Steven
AGE: insists that she’s 24
OCCUPATION: Amway Distributor (double diamond)
INTERESTS: Basketball, tigers
LOOKING FOR: Isaac Newton or Bob. Preferably both.
AGE: 44
OCCUPATION: lil’ of this, lil’ of that
INTERESTS: having fun, dogs, Saturday Night Fever’s VHS bonus features
LOOKING FOR: Martial artist, at least… 14 teeth, 9-12 fingers
AGE: 36
OCCUPATION: Truck Driver
INTERESTS: making deposits
LOOKING FOR: my navigator to this ship that is life. In this metaphor I’d be the pilot and my mom, the co-pilot.
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