The Nerds saw this and although they did not want to remove technology from Google Earth, decided to gift the cheerful citizens with interactive face-to-face play once again. Going back to their roots of hero feats, battle strategy and role playing, they created a realm of board games sure to bring eye contact and non-abbreviated conversations back to the dinner table. This created a faction within the Nerd classes. New Wave Nerds prefer technology where they can instantly +1 their friends or do status updates in all they do each day; but the Geeks remembered Friday nights with pizza and board games and cherished the laughter and original human interfacing….with no technology whatsoever.

If you are a Geek (or perhaps a closet Geek, don’t worry we won’t reveal your secret to your savvy Nerd friends), be sure to check out this website for Board Game Geeks. Many games featured come with familiar hardware like dice, cards you hold in your hand or flip over (also called card drafting in Geek Speak); and boards with pieces that move as the game progresses…and moved by your own gross motor movement, too! You can join blogs, create an account posting the Geekiest games you own sharing your own reviews and even search for a new and exciting game sure to please the whole family.

Stay tuned for the next episode where the Geeks go the battle and declare victory over many new board games that have emerged from the Austrian Board Game Academy.

-posted by Miss Jesikah, who is an old school fantasy Nerd and has always stayed true to her inner-Geek. She still does not have a phone that has apps! Imagine that

Image: Tina Phillips / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Often it was the little things that made those darkish days more pleasant. A storybook shared while snuggling on the couch. A slice of warm-from-the-oven banana bread with a pat of butter.  A phone call or visit from a friend which might include commiserating, laughing, book sharing and other conversations about the stuff of our lives—important and trivial.

Connecting with a friend was often all I needed to chase the blues away. I treasured those conversations—especially face to face ones. Someone else understood and was walking my path too!  And my load was lightened.

I savor the many memories I have of kids running around my house, my friends and I using our well-honed ability to carry on a deep conversation in spite of many interruptions.  These play dates often included a hot cup of Chai tea and something to nibble: perhaps a slice of banana bread, because somehow there are always overripe bananas around where there are preschoolers.

If you are struggling with the winter blues today, why not make a phone call or invite a friend over? See what happens to your feelings when you intentionally connect with someone else.  Initiate a conversation. Have an old fashioned coffee klatch.  Or just go for it and throw a party and fill your house with preschoolers and parents—for no reason at all.

Here are some recipes which have been a pleasant accompaniment to many happy play dates. Chai tea and my aunt’s delicious banana bread. Invite a friend over and enjoy!

Chai Tea Recipe

However much water you use initially is how much milk (preferable whole milk) you add to the batch at the end.
Black Tea
Cardamom Pods (crack open a bit)  I use 5 -7 pods for 3 -4 cups of chai
Fresh Ginger – cut up or crush about a 1” inch segment
Cook water, cardamom, ginger and tea – boil for about 3 – minutes
Strain off the cardamom, ginger and tea bags (you could always put the cardamom, ginger and tea bag in a cheesecloth pouch to make it easier to strain later.
Add milk, and heat back up.
Add sugar or sweetener to taste.

Serve and enjoy.

Aunt Lib’s Banana Bread

¾ c. flour
1 ½ c. sugar
1 t. baking soda
½ t. salt
2 eggs
2 med. ripe bananas (1 cup)
½ c. vegetable oil
¼ c. + 1 T buttermilk
1 t. vanilla
1 c. chopped walnuts

Combine flour, sugar, baking soda and salt in medium bowl. Set aside. In another bowl mix together eggs, bananas, oil, buttermilk, vanilla and walnuts. Add the flour mixture to the wet ingredients and mix until just combined. Do not over mix.

Pour into a greased loaf pan. Bake at 350 for 1 hour and 25 minutes.

Cool for 10 minutes then remove to wire rack.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who usually find banana bread dry and boring, but goes for seconds on this version!

I ended up watching a lot of Netflix on my iPad. And by the time I graduated to the couch I was sick of Netflix definition of my genre of choice – “Witty period pieces with a strong female lead”.

So, on to documentaries.  I watched a Nat Geo series about the Amish. The Amish have always fascinated me; I don’t know why. I wish my husband could do wood working like that. But without having to grow a long beard and give up electricity and canning everything in sight. Never mind then. I’ll keep my IT-brilliant husband just the way he is.

Anyhoo… One show followed 5 Amish young people on a trip to the UK to stay with 4 families, each for a week during their Rumspringa. (Rumspringa, or “running around”, is the term used to describe the period of adolescence Amish experience starting at around age 16, before they make the decision whether or not to join the church, characterized by an increase in social activity, and leaving the “rules” behind in regards to behaviors like dress, alcohol, music, as they wish. They then give up their cars and Blackberrys and cigarettes when they choose to become baptized.)

I’m sure that’s not a complete answer; I just wanted you to know why Amish young people from the US could take a trip to the UK to stay with non-Amish, surf in the ocean, play electric guitars and go to a nightclub, all while being followed by a camera crew.

During the documentary, there was a girl in her early twenties that said something really profound. She and her family had left one of the strictest of Amish sects just the year before. (They choose to still live relatively simply and conservatively.) In their old way of life, there was no indoor plumbing, their clothing seams had to be sewn a particular manner, they could not plant flowers, and there was no history, geography or science taught in school, among a myriad of other rules.

She had never sung outside of church or made an art project. So at one house during their trip, the artist-daughter of the host family put a cup of acrylic paint mixed with glue in her hand, handed her a chopstick, and showed her how to drizzle this mixture onto paper and make a painting.

Just imagine making your first creative, beautiful thing at the age of 22. Something for which there was no right or wrong way to do it. This young woman’s face just lit up. Her countenance was alive and joyous, from the inside out. I think that by painting this picture, she experienced true freedom for the first time in her life. 

And then she said, “I think too many rules stifle creativity.” That’s profound. And relevant. Rules are good. Boundaries are important. But with too many, creativity can be stifled. As a mom and teacher, I need to protect my children from being stifled.

Sometimes that means protecting them from my silly rules. Will my Kindergartener fail to learn her math facts if I don’t demand she do the full 3 pages of math on my agenda, when she really wants to just draw and write a lot today? No, you shouldn’t make your own chocolate milk because you might make a mess. You can’t wear that. It doesn’t match. You’re wasting the glitter! Let me cut your meat for you. You don’t do it right.

Silly rules that stifle creativity? I hope not in my house anymore.  You want to compose your own piece of music on the violin and write it down? Go for it. You still have to practice your lesson music, but you can also spend as much time as you wish writing and playing “Land of Slowness”. (I kid you not, that’s the title.)

-posted by Miss Analiisa, who learned how to be a better parent after listening to the voice of reason coming from a most unexpected source.

In my final blog, I want to provide you with some words to use when you are working with the challenging behavior of children.

Some questions to ask yourself:

• Am I inspiring self-evaluation or dependence on the evaluation of others?
• Am I being respectful or patronizing?
• Am I helping them discover how to act or trying to manipulate their behavior?
• Am I seeing the child’s point of view or my own?
• Would I make this comment to a friend or neighbor?

 It is important to provide a connection before correction:

1. State clear expectations… “As soon as you finish, you may… ”
2. Respond with a question… “Would you like to do this by yourself, or do you want/need help?”
3. State a given (i.e. rule or condition)… “I can’t let you do that, those words are hurtful.” “The balls stay outside.” “It’s not time for that now. It’s ok to be disappointed.”
4. Check his/her understanding… “Tell me how we’re solving this problem.” “What’s the next step before we can… ”
5. Invite cooperation… “I need your help with this.”
6. Limit choices… “Would you like to put this away now or after dinner?”
7. Say what you want and mean… “I want you to use your body in a different way. That feels unsafe. Try this… ”
8. Negotiate an agreement… “I can’t let you do that, it hurts her body. But you can climb up this way.”
9. Use non-verbal language such as a hand on the shoulder or a secret nod.
10. Follow through… “Time to… now”. Be sure to follow through yourself. Don’t use the word “now” if you’ll get busy and forget to follow through.

Most of all, anticipate and be ok with mistakes. They are opportunities to learn. We all make them. Remember to recover from a mistake.

• Re-gather: Everyone has had ample time to calm down.
• Recognize: “Whoops, I made a mistake.”
• Reconcile: “I’m sorry.”
• Re-solve: “How can we work together to make it better?”

-posted  by Teacher Aaron, who wants to remind you to think about how these tactics work best for you and your family. Share them with your parenting partner and keep the discussion going!

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tips for when YOU have flipped your lid:

• Recognize what it feels like physically: fast heart beats, redness of the face and neck, sense of urgency. Learn your body’s warning signs.
• Recognize what it feels like mentally: An inability to think calmly and clearly. Thoughts that repeat or go in circles. A sense of urgency
• Take a time out from the situation and calm down: Recognize that continued engagement won’t help. Take a moment to calm down and breathe. Remove yourself.
• Focus on your breathing: Do it slowly. In and out.
• Use large muscles: walk, run, bike, do push-ups, or yoga. Anything to keep yourself moving.
• Try engaging your cortex: Do mental math, count backwards, list facts. Anything to slow the pace.
• Notice why you’re in “survival mode.” This situation makes me feel vulnerable because I’m not being heard, I’m not being respected, etc. Don’t take it personally. Your brain thinks it’s about survival, when it really isn’t.

Tips for when THEY have flipped their lid (child or adult):

• Watch for signs in the other person: Intense emotions, disjointed sentences, irrational action, flushed/red face.
• Notice your body: Use those mirror neurons. Get down on the child’s level. Be calm and speak slowly. Use simple words. This makes it easier for them to calm down too. Don’t let their “flipped lid” catch you off guard.
• Remember safety: People unable to use their cortex act irrationally and can be physically dangerous. Be calm, stay aware, and move slowly.
• Acknowledge feelings: Use few words and speak slowly. “I can tell you’re frustrated” or “I see tears running down your face, you must be sad.”
• Talk TO them not AT them: Don’t make fast movements. They may want to be touched or they may not want to be touched, be aware of what their body language is telling you. If they want to leave (and it is safe), let them.
• Give them space, don’t crowd: Don’t give complicated directions (they cannot process them), keep it simple. Don’t demand from them.
• Invite them to take a CDT (Cool Down Time): This is similar to a time-out, but instead is non-punitive. This works best as an option, not a command.
• Simple tasks engage his/her cortext: Ask him how his name is spelled. Ask her to count to ten. Math and literacy are both great ways to do this.
• Ask for their help: Finally, when they begin to de-escalate, change their focus by asking for their help. “I can tell you aren’t ready to play yet, but can you help me get these things from the cupboard?” or “I know you can’t go back to work yet, but could you help me by…?”

The foundation of the tools to helping young children self-regulate is the relationships we build with them. Discipline means not just what we do during moments of challenging behavior, but how we encourage children to be better people. This is a concept adopted from Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson. Positive discipline

inspire with courage.”

We do this by helping children self-evaluate themselves (“tell me about it” or “what do you think?”). Instead of conformity (“you did it right”, “I’m so proud of you”), build empathy (“I can see you enjoyed that”, “what do you think and feel?”). Appreciate them by being specific (“I appreciate your help with…” or “who can show me the proper way to sit?”).

Tomorrow, I’ll give you some helpful words and phrases to use in the process of discipline.

-posted by Teacher Aaron, who takes some hot tea to a quiet corner when he’s flipped his lid.

We want to understand:

1. how we make meaning of our experiences
2. how challenging behavior is a solution to a different problem
3. what are the practical tools for young children to self-regulate
4. the recovery tools in developing minds
5. how to use several tools for improving relationships with young children

As irrational as it sometimes appears, we know that behavior is always purposeful. The purpose of behavior is to find belonging (a sense of connection) and meaning (significance). People make decisions based on how they perceive the world. A perception leads to an interpretation which leads to a belief, and then a decision based on that belief which leads back to a new perception. Children do this all the time. They use their senses to make interpretations. “How heavy is this block?” “What does tomato soup smell like?” “I can see steam; that must mean it’s hot.” “When I see a black bird, I notice it makes a certain sound.” Children make these interpretations in an effort to organize the world around them.

So when there is a “problem,” it really is a solution to another problem that we just are not aware of yet. A child who is “misbehaving” is, rather, discouraged. Children want to feel a sense of community. Being in one and contributing to it. We need to teach children ways to accomplish their goals that are appropriate and safe. By encouraging a child instead of discouraging them, we give them the power to solve problems autonomously.

This happens when we:

• Teach life skills to children.
• Pay attention to the power of perception.
• Focus on encouragement (connection and presence with  children).
• Be kind and firm at the same time.
• Look to mutual respect. Respect for yourself. Respect for the situation. Respect for the needs of the child.
• Celebrate mistakes as opportunities to learn.
• Look to solutions rather than punishment.

These are the building blocks for effective discipline. Parents struggle with this word all the time. “What is discipline and how can I be sure it’s appropriate?” Taken from Adler, a prominent child developmentalist, effective discipline helps children feel a sense of community by being mutually respectful and encouraging. What is the child thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about herself in her world? What does he do in the future to survive and thrive? So it is effective long term. Discipline teaches important social and life skills such as respect for others, problem solving, cooperation, and contributing to the world around him. It also helps a child to discover how capable she truly is.

Tomorrow I’ll talk about some tips for when that mid-brain takes over and the challenging behavior comes out. There are tips for when your child “flips her lid” and for when YOU flip your lid.

-posted by Teacher Aaron, who is a Preschool Director in his other, non-Kindermusik life!

On such moment was the neighborhood kids club my daughter decided to host. She was around 8 years old at the time.  We often had families with younger children visit, and she had an interest in these little ones.  Her girlfriend who lived next-door was also, and one day they hatched the neighborhood kids club idea.

They created elaborate plans which they excitedly showed me. A permission slip was designed. Lists of games prepared. A detailed schedule constructed, including when the children would take a potty break and have a nap. The 5 children invited ranged from 2 to 4 years old.

We chose a date, and the girls called each of the parents.  The children were thrilled to have been invited to “Katie’s house.”  The mothers’ reaction was much the same. And so the plans were set.

The girls worked hard to get everything ready. They refined their lists. Got out the age-appropriate toys.  They enthusiastically shopped for snacks and juice boxes at the store. They could hardly wait.

The moms and kids arrived and signed in their children.  Smiles were on all faces as these young girls took charge of these delighted little ones. Much to my surprise, most of the moms actually left, which tells you how desperate mothers can be for time away!

For the next hour and a half, the budding teachers cared for their little charges.  They played Ring around the Rosie, and toss the balloon.  They had a snack and played outside. They read a story. They also chased around little boys who wouldn’t sit in a circle, or play a game, or do anything they were told to do. They learned that sometimes the schedule doesn’t work and that kids do what they want to do and you can’t make them do what YOU want them to.

At the end of the club, the mom’s picked up their children, who got hugs and kisses before they reluctantly left. The teachers were not so reluctant to see them go. They were exhausted!

“Mom, that wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be,” said my tired daughter.

“Well, let’s talk about that,” I responded.  “What did you learn?”

A lot, we concluded. Little kids don’t sit in circles very well.  They like to play outside the best.  Some kids don’t like to color.  Snack time was a success.

“I think stations for coloring and snack would be a good idea for next time,” she concluded. “And we’ll play more games outside too.”

And they did. The next club was better than the first.  But she was still pretty tired at the end. Reality.

I’d recommend encouraging your interested kids to host a neighborhood kids club.  It was a great experience for my daughter and didn’t take much planning or extra work for me.  We had all the resources at home. The kids made the entire plan.  I played a supporting role and enjoyed it.

I’m not sure if my daughter is destined to be a teacher or not, but I know that she learned  a lot, not only about kids, but about having an idea and seeing it come to life, imperfections and all. And isn’t that what life is about.

-posted by Donna Detweiler, who sees how having older children interact with younger children is a win for everyone.

Do you know someone who would love and benefit from Kindermusik, but does not have the financial resources to pay for a class?

Every year we set aside a portion of our class enrollments for scholarships for children that would not otherwise have the opportunity to experience Kindermusik.

It goes without saying (but we’ll say it anyway), that we believe that music is the most powerful tool you can give your child now for future success in school, work and life, and that everyone deserves access to a Kindermusik class. Not only for the sake of your children, but for the wonderful benefits for the grownups!

Our 2012 Scholarship application can be found HERE.

If you know a family that has a financial need and would like to participate in Kindermusik, please share this post with them. Or, like this post and it will show on your wall. You never know who it will reach that you might not otherwise have thought of.

Thanks so much for your help.

-posted on behalf of Miss Analiisa, Miss Allison and Miss Beth, who are full of the blessings they’ve received over the years from our Studio3Music families.

What I learned about a month after school started was that he just needed to use his musical brain in other ways.  He was practicing shapes and patterns one night at the kitchen table for homework when I glanced over and saw something amazing.  He was making music with math.  (Only a trained Kindermusik mom would notice this.)

His repetitive patterns with numbers sounded musical when I read them aloud.  It was more than just the typical 1-2-1-2-1-2.  It had rhythm.  I sent it to Miss Allison, our local Kindermusik scientific music specialist.  She also saw the beat and just for fun sent back the numbers in musical alphabet.

My kindergartener, without knowing, was continuing to make music.  His brain still retained his Kindermusik knowledge.  I played the mathematical notes on the recorder with the joy of one discovering the cure for the common cold.  He just snubbed his nose at me before dumping a pile of Legos on the floor.  I smiled.  There IS life after Kindermusik.

My kindergartener is not physically going to Kindermusik classes any more but after five years it was time for his brain to move on.  His brain was remembering and using what he learned for more than just silly dances and colorful shakers.

My anxiety decreased as I held his little brother’s hand to his first session of Imagine That.  The baby was now off to learn music in his own space, with his own friends.  Practicing his own independence.  Kissing time was a quick peck on the cheek as he ran by sideways.  On the way out the door I looked back .  Those baby snuggle days were over, but watching the singing and silly dancing happening at that moment without me was not the end.

Kindermusik was not just for the kids.  It’s been music for all of us.  We will still make up songs and dance silly in our own ways at home.  When classes are over at the end of the day, the music goes on.  At bedtime my boys, 6 and 4 years old, still wait for mama to give snuggles and sing “Hush Little Baby and Ally Bally.”  Life after Kindermusik?  Absolutely!

-posted by Kindermusik mama Heidi Forrester,  whose children now want to learn the electric guitar and the bassoon.

When I was single, my friends and coworkers complemented me for my self-discipline. Would someone please tell my husband that it’s very rude of him to laugh so hard at that description of his wife? I was disciplined back then!  If you only have one duck to line up (me), how hard is that?  So why put it off?

But then I got married and had kids, which equals ducks galore, if you know what I mean. And because they rarely lined up for more than a moment anyway, why should I try until the nick of time?

My descent into procrastination was gradual. I tried to keep up “duck management” in my early married life. I continued my notebook with weekly, monthly, and yearly goals. I made out a menu and grocery list for the week. I cleaned the house regularly. Mr. Clean was my bff.  Somewhere after baby number one got a baby sister, I lost ground.  My personal goals notebook went missing ten years ago.

Though I don’t know how they do it, some mothers don’t procrastinate! Their laundry gets done before someone has run out of clean underwear. They have eggs back in the refrigerator before they get halfway into a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough. The sheets are laundered and the bed made up before the mother-in-law is ready to retire to the guest room for the night. Of course I’ve never procrastinated to such an extreme. (I’ll blog about lying next January.)

Somewhere amidst being a wife, mothering, homeschooling and blogging, I guess I slid down a slippery slope into procrastination. So now you know why it’s time for a New Year’s resolution.  I feel the call; I’m tired of the chaos. My ducks are a little older.  They can actually line up on their own once in a while. I guess it’s time to attempt to return to my former life of discipline.  To fan that flame. To find my old notebook. To prove my smirking husband wrong. Wish me luck!

-posted by Donna Detweiler who has not procrastinated in the writing of this blog.  Victory # 1.

Image: EA / FreeDigitalPhotos.net